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Off TopicUltimate Guide to Getting Out of Depression (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by KemalTenebris

Summary: I wrote the ultimate guide of getting out of depression. I have been there and beat it, now giving back to the community. This article was published on Medium before here and doesn't have the TRP lingo, but is still based on concrete, red pilled ideas. I hope it'll help.
Body: Depression is the modern plague, there is no question to that. I have been experienced it along with anxiety for 4,5 years. Worst fucking 50 months of my life. Best fucking 50 months of my life.
If you are also struggling with it, don’t worry and relax, just read. This is not another “Think positive!” or “Lincoln had it, too! Even Churchill had it and called it his black dog!” kind of shit. This guide is crafted by a person like you; who struggled with depression. Who was on the verge of losing his fucking mind, at least he felt that way. Who carefully thought about the best way to commit suicide. Who wanted to be born again and shape his life from scratch. I am here, I am a person like you. I know what you’ve been through and know the way out. This guide is to help you out of that hole. So, let’s start.
I don’t want to waste time explaining why depression happens and so on.If you ask me, there are two types of depression:
1) Depression caused by something we know about.
2)Depression caused by something that we “don’t know” about.
First one is basically things like loss of a parent, being sexually abused, losing job, losing a friend, breaking up etc. Things that you can address. This guide will help you on that, but not to the full extent. I recommend getting professional help on this one. Although, you can improve drastically by applying you’ve learnt here.
And there is this “existential” kind of depression. Depression that you don’t know why exactly it exists. It somehow found you and got you, at least for now. Life feels empty, things are stupid, people are hell and so on. You feel like you are a pilgrim who’s on an unknown quest. You aren’t able to feel any sense of direction in life or any goals, dreams even. Getting professional help on this one is also recommended, but this guide will mostly help you on this kind of depression. Therapy + this guide will +95% solve your problems.

I have to tell you that, there is a way out.
But you have to apply what you will learn here.
And believe me, there is no magic pill, you’ll realize.
The magic pill is this method itself.
I can give you the blueprint, but can not execute it for you.
You have to take the control of your life. And control comes with responsiblity. The good thing is, these two also lead to a life of freedom. A life that’s free from unnecessary shame, fear, anxiety, depression, unhappiness.
Approaching the methods here like every other article on depression you’ve read, any other video you watched about it or question you asked on forums, I promise, will not work. I want you to be open-minded. Approach everything in this guide as if you are seeing them for the first time and actually apply these. I promise, there is no way out if you don’t. There are two categories of things that you are going to be doing:
MUST: *exercising (p) *diet (p) *meditation (m/s) *output (m) *sleep (p/s/m) *relaxation (p/s/m)
RECOMMENDED: *socializing (p/m) *personal story (m/s) *personal projects (m) *goals (p/m) *actions (p/s/m)
p: physical | s: spiritual | m: mental
These are your loyal servants. They will never let you down, if you also don’t let them down. Musts are 10/10 important and recommendeds are 8.5/10. Don’t get overwhelmed or stress yourself, we will figure something out. I was like you before, I know how it feels. And since I am also a lazy-ass guy, I have also developed a system for these to work and you will not even need extra willpower of energy for it if you take your steps right.
Let’s go one by one.
Exercise: Yeah there are thousands of benefits etc as you know. But you still don’t care about that because you’re actually too comfortable living like this. I don’t want you to run 10 miles a day or spend 2 hours in the gym. Only this; 4 days a week, you will be walking for at least 30 minutes. You don’t need to sweat or put real effort into this. Just wear your earphones and put on an audiobook and fucking walk. Come on, you know you can do that. It seems arbitrary but is a must (10/10), don’t forget!
Diet: Diet is really important and have played a big part on my recovery. You don’t need any crazy caloric deficits or any fancy supplements, just this: Track what you are eating, and subtract low quality, life shortening shit out of that. You know what they are. Just admit it. Also, if you have serious weight issues, go see a doctor and work on losing weight. Body fat percentage plays a serious part on your physical and mental health, take my word on that. So, you got exercise and diet figured out. Start small and don’t rush yourself. Do these, or any other thing I recommend will have very arbitrary effects on you, honestly. These are just stepping stones. Don’t forget, improvement is also a necessity, so after you keep doing these for some weeks, take the next step and configure those two again; join a gym, go to the next level on dieting.
Meditation: This one is a BIG one, trust me. It is actually easy! You have to do nothing? — ?as a depressed person, this is something you are an expert on, right? Download Calm or Headspace, or just search “mindfulness meditation” on YouTube. You will love it.
Output: Depression makes us passive, so all we do is to consume and in the end we just don’t do anything. Nature is all about balance, and it is important to balance input and output. I want you to think and note down the things that you spend most of the time doing. You realized it is mostly rubbish, right? Doesn’t matter. Think of ways of creating output from those. For example, I used to lurk on reddit for hours? — ?especially subreddits like entrepreneurs, guitar, getmotivated and so on. The problem was, I’ve never created a company along that time with all the things I’ve learnt. I’ve seldom practised guitar with all the techniques I was taught. So, if you are reading a lot on photography, fucking take some pictures, for yourself. You will spend at least half an hour doing this a day. The more you consume, the more you create.
Sleep: Sleep is really important, that’s why it’s listed under the MUST category. You have to figure it out for yourself, but basic premise is: sleep at least 5 sleep cycles? — ?which is 7,5h/day, go to bed early and get up early, no screens/artificial lights 2 hours before sleeping.
Relaxation: Relaxation is something that we forget to do. After you put all the effort you have into something, you have to relax? — ?remember, nature and balance and all of that? Listen to your inner self and relax when you need. Just don’t waste time relaxing for extra periods of time or use it to procrastinate.

Socializing: Friends and family, meet and spend fun time with them at least 2 days a week. If you have no friends or family, just go to a crowded coffeeshop and spend time there working on your stuff. Be with people and don’t shy away from asking things you think are interesting or having conversations etc. Humans are social animals and as long as you deny this fact because you’re still able to somehow survive without them thanks to the economical system we have in the modern world, you are going to suffer. Don’t suffer.
Personal Story: Get a good journal or any kind of notebook and start to write your own story. Write the old you, the new you, the current you. Take daily notes and share your feelings with that. Sounds gay? It is. That’s what makes it good. Carry this little friend around and use it however you want. Important thing is to capture your life and how you’re doing, all the progress etc. Don’t forget, 8.5/10.
Personal Projects: Invent your own small/medium sized projects. For example, one time I decided to analyze a blog’s method of creating viral posts and built a schema around this idea of finding how they do that. I learnt very basic Python for it, scraped datas, worked on some small details and in the end I knew what kind of process they used and it was great fun. Just find something you’re curious about and let it take you somewhere else and don’t procrastinate!
Goals: Goals are important. Very simple: Set 6 goals for each day from the night before, sort them in order of importance/urgency from 1 to 6 and your main goal is to complete all of them until next day. Very, very important, and thankfully simple!
Actions: Do you see a pattern here? Nearly the whole guide is all about doing something, taking the control over your life, changing your point of focus from consuming to producing. Actions are priceless. Every day give yourself a challenge, and take action on it. But it has to be a challenging one. For example, if you want to read books but get distracted or “can’t create time for it” (a big, big lie? — ?there is no “time creation”, only priorities) take up a 80–100pg book and finish it in a single day. Or a better formula, do something that scares you everyday.
So, these were the ways of taking control over our lives. If you do all of these together, you’ll start to see huge improvements in no time. And I have some techniques to make it work. I know this is a big article, but take your time and don’t forget to take notes! Have a clear idea of it in your mind.
#1- Self-Talk: Every negative pattern you have in your life is related to your self-talk, that dialogue-ish monologue in your head. I don’t want you to fucking repeat “I am awesome!”s or anything like that. This is simple and works like magic (well, because it is): Everytime you have a negative thought, block it. Kill it before it reaches your subconscious. You will be able to sense that and do that easily after a few practises. If it really bothers you by repeating and you can’t kill it, which rarely happens but is a good sign that you’ve detected something, turn it to an actionable thought. Example; “It was very rude of me to yell at my father. I wish I didn’t, I am a fucking bad son and don’t deserve his love. Fuck me.” -> “I can go to him and apologize for it, and can be extra nice for a period of time. I yelled at him but won’t do it again, because I see how it feels after I do. Fuck it, everyone makes mistakes.”
#2- The Sims Technique: We all know the game, right? Great technique for discipline. Whenever you “don’t feel like it” and know what to do, stop being the person who is in the order. Stop thinking like the person you are right now, and go into the “God Mode”: “Going to the gym right now.” and fucking go there! It is really easy and practical for beginners. After sometime, you won’t even need this, believe me.
#3- Stress Management: You have to manage your stress. Meditation, proper diet and exercise along with relaxation will help you with that. Also, find things that make you forget of your daily life and do it whenever you need. For me, it is playing the guitar or the drums. It should be something productive, because we all know that pornography & masturbation also works for it but what it leads you.. you don’t want that. Writing about what you’re stressed and then creating solutions for it also works great. You will realize 2/3 of the things you worry about actually aren’t in your control or you don’t really need to worry about them at all.
#4- Nutrients: Proper diet is really important, but I also recommend getting a blood test done. Especially men have problems with Vitamin B12, Vitamin D, Zinc and Magnesium. You can find multivitamins for it but I don’t really recomment it. Get B12 shots done, really worth it. Vitamin D pills or ampuls are easy to find. ZMA supplement contains both Zinc and Magnesium, it is perfect for men. Also, you can eat really carefully to get these nutrients. Depression is about chemical imbalance and these chemicals works perfectly for it. Please try these for a month or so, and if you don’t want, don’t continue taking these but I really recommend these.
#5- Stop Dopamine Abuse: You should learn more on that, but dopamine is basically the neurotransmitter that works about rewarding. Modern world chokes us in dopamine and we feel like we’re amounting to something, but actually we are not. Here is a great comic & article about this. All the time you watch that TV series, eating that fatty garbage could’ve been used to do something better, more and actually, realistically rewarding. This is really important.
#6- Simplicity, Cleanness and Tidyness: Be simple and do simple. Be clean, and I don’t mean just hygiene. Even if you’re not leaving the house for a day, take a show and look after yourself? — ?it is unbelievably important. Also, have a tidy living place. Start from somewhere and put on a music, it will be so great for you? — ?dopamine, remember?
#7- Ignore Everything, Focus On Only This: Ignore everything external, and focus only on the internal. That doesn’t mean cutting your realationships or not going to work. This basically means, only important thing is how you feel, what you feel and why you feel that way- and after understanding them, what are you going to do with that. Everything else is number two.
For now, this is it.
I also recommend you to look into and learn more about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (it’s really easy, you can do it just by yourself) and Stoicism (great philosophy) — but for now, just do the things that I’ve written about and try not to get overwhelmed. I know there is A LOT to learn about, to look into; maybe you are more confused after this article before how you were like reading it. Return to this guide time to time, take new notes, look into newer and more things. I promise you it will get better.
Oh and; cut anything that stresses you or makes you depressed/anxious out, but validate it is unnecessary before doing that. For example, going for a walk as I’ve written might stress you out and you might want to procrastinate, but you know it is not unnecessary stress, it is important because after awhile, you will want to go for a walk yourself. But things like “There are a lot of Game of Thrones episodes to watch, what am I gonna do?” kind of stuff should be delegated.
And lastly, discover new stuff. New places, new people, new books, new documentaries, new artists. But don’t do it too much that you forget what are really important, which is you and your improvement. Don’t use these as an escape, use them just as an enchantement to life. Few personal recommendations that came to my mind; Herbie Hancock, Mark Knopfler & Dire Straits, Supertramp, Elliot Hulse, Amélie, Enron: Smartest Guys in the Room, Inside Job. And I am always ready to help. Please reach me whenever you feel like.
You can reach me via email : kemaltenebris{at}gmail.com
via Twitter: twitter.com/@KemalTenebris
And subscribe to my newsletter for more great content, exclusive to subscribers : https://tinyletter.com/KemalTenebris
Conclusion: Good luck on your journey! Don’t forget to read this article again ang again whenever you feel hopeless/misguided, and take notes — most important thing is that you must apply these, never forget! I hope I was able to help.

[–]PalindromicBirthday 29 points30 points  (9 children)

Having conquered depression myself over the last 5 years, this would have been a major help rather than figuring it out on my own.

My favourite part is the Sims technique where you enter God mode and alter your mood. It really is as simple as making the internal decision to think differently. Most people can't comprehend how this is possible, because they only try it once, and when the negativity resurfaces they think the method failed and they give up. In fact you have to constantly, consciously and willingly enact this method, until the new way of viewing becomes default, and the thought process you are halting stops firing altogether.

It does happen, you just need to work at it. Most people who are depressed are stuck in a loop, whereby their depression makes them not even want to be happy. Break this cycle, and you will be free.

It is not an easy road, but once committed truly to path towards happiness, depression is a pussycat.

Just an aside, thoughts on treating your depression as you would deal with shit tests from a woman? Depression could be seen as an internal shit testing of the self?

[–]KemalTenebris[S] 10 points11 points  (4 children)

One thing I realized by talking to a lot of people after writing the article is, they don't take their fate in their hands. They don't control their own lives. They are on the verge of giving up and they don't really care, they expect a magic pill or a white knight. This is scarcity mindset at its worst.

Thank you for your further input, I appreciate it.

I think the only actual MUST is to keep trying new and profound stuff, changing them according to what works and what doesn't and never giving up.

I am also into occultism and things like that and I can easily tell you that you have to IGNORE and CUT THE CONTACT COMPLETELY with that bitching side in your mind. Don't treat it like inner shit tests. In the end you get a pussy after you pass shit tests, what do you get if you pass inner shit tests? It will keep you shit testing.

I like the way you think, improving stuff and adding techniques etc, but believe me, best way is to KILL that inner bitch by ignoring it completely. And you do this by not interacting with it. Create a rational, truthful and reliable inner self whom you can consort with.

[–]ghostbrainalpha 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I actually was wondering if you were into the Occult after catching some interesting word choices.

It's weird how the philosophy that looks the most like 100% imaginary bullshit, is actually almost completely about willpower and self improvement.

[–]KemalTenebris[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally right.

I wonder which words though :)

[–]PalindromicBirthday 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Great insight. My thought process was specifically on the ignoring aspect of handling shit tests, but you are quite right, there is nothing to be gained so no purpose in engaging in any way.

Perhaps a comparison could be drawn to the antibiotic nuclear option for handling shit tests, as this precludes any interest in engaging further.

The occultism thing is interesting, as I have no real knowledge of it, and as a philosophy grad I'm fascinated by different viewpoints. Didnt even realise it was a modern Philosophy so research is necessary!

[–]KemalTenebris[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Occultism is not something practical at first and you have a really wide mastering curve so I'm not sure if it's worth it. By the way, by saying mastering I'm talking about having a succinct and profound understanding of the fundamentals and the big picture. But philosophy degree is definitely an advantage.

[–]playingwithfyre 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry but this is feel good tripe. If you are clinically depressed, deciding to be happy simply will not work.

The issue is chemical in nature at that point and your brain is responding in a depressed manner. You can "think you're happy" but your body will still depressed, and you will be depressed.

That's why exercise is so important. It is a chemical attack on a chemical problem. The rest is just helping you cope with and understand your current state.

To change the state, you must make permanent changes to your body and lifestyle.

This post should have negative karma.

Source : Thought like this until I got clinical depression. Nothing will pull you out of that once you're deep enough besides drugs (which common side effect, suicide ideation, fucking GREAT) or exercise.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Can you elaborate on what the 'God mode' is please? I played that game a lot, and feel like an idiot for not getting it.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You basically force your sim to do something. Sometimes they bitch and moan (stamp their feet, shake their head, having thunderclouds appear above their heads) so you click again and they do it.

[–]Redasshole 19 points20 points  (12 children)

I would like to add my

Survival tips for depressed people

Buy a rice cooker. I cant remember how many times it saved me. Heat a pan? Wash rice? Pour water in the pan? Pour rice in the pan? WATCH THE RICE WHILE ITS COOKING? Clean the pan?You kidding me? Pour rice & water in rice cooker, hit two buttons : done.

When all you do is laying on your bed all day there is one thing you can do : read. All you need is a sentence to catch your attention. And what subject interests you when you are depressed? ... read feeling good the new mood therapy by david m burns.

PUT AWAY ALL ELECTRONIC DEVICES: computer, smartphone... dont use them to flee away from your reality. They can make it bearable but that will prevent you from leaving it. Feel the pain, it will empower you. I can not stess how important avoiding porn and video games is.

Crawls out of bed and walk. You dont even need to shower. It doesnt matter if you stink - after all, life has no meaning right? So dont bother and get the fuck out and walk. Listen to sad songs if you want but get out.

You can meditate whenever you want. Even if you are lying in bed and cant muster the courage to sit. Even if you dont have any app to guide you. Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Dont try to make it deep or short - dont do anything, just watch it.

Do not adore false gods : all those things that make you think can help like ice cream, peanut butter, alcohol, drugs..stay away from those. Your salvation is in the pain.

Wash at least your asshole and your teeth, flush your toilets, force yourself to put the garbage in the bin and to take the bin out EVERY DAY.

[–]KemalTenebris[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, good ones. Thanks for the contribution.

[–]IWishIWasARealBoy 1 points1 points [recovered]

How do you just include peanut butter like that?

I really thought it couldn't possibly have counted.

TRP is better than me for sure.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Raw peanut butter is probably a better option

[–]justaskingman7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would not allow the listening to sad songs, it promotes the cycle. Listen to sad songs.. YOU WILL BE SAD.

The whole point of depression is that you are thinking the wrong way about things to be productive/successful. Productive/successful can be whatever you define it to be, however.. no one ever has had that defined with depression linked in with it too.

It's faulty thinking by way of faulty or just plain wrong 'inputs' in to the system that is YOU. You then get wonky outputs being depressive thoughts and unproductive behaviors. Change the inputs AND ALSO change the way you process things (think about, rationalize, value) and you get a different output.

This is where the music comes into it, the first step is to eliminate all bad inputs that you can. Sad music that promotes sad feelings.. is a bad input when you are depressed. ELIMINATE what you can in the area of inputs and this has got to be one of the easiest ones. Others are changing your environment (friends, school, work) or watching something more intellectual like documentaries instead of mtv music awards. There are of course things that you cannot change by the way of inputs, or not easily at least. With these things, it takes a change in the process part of your system that is you and thats much more complex but it starts with changing the inputs and then forming habits to enforce the right process and repeating.

Sorry for the ramble but not sorry, hopefully this is useful to someone and this way of seeing depression can help break them from the cycle as it did with me. It's a system and just like any system, it behaves on logic and has rules. Good input > good output. Bad > bad. That's the surface of it, once you master this fundamental step then you can delve deeper into the process portion of it.

[–]hipfash3 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What did you eat with rice?

[–]Redasshole 1 point2 points  (0 children)

On those days I couldn't muster much energy, most of the time i would take some tomato sauce can, put it on it and microwave it, maybe with a little cheese. Really couldn't muster up the courage to cook anything. i would basically put on top anything that i had, so long as it didn't require more effort than putting the whole thing in the microwave

[–]RedDeadCred 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Sad songs is a bad idea. Modern music is already a dopamine trap, and then adding in the negative energy of sad songs is just a terrible idea.

[–]KemalTenebris[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

This is a really weak, primitive point.

[–]WarmApfelPi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Having been a fan of Smashing Pumpkins, I concur. Sad music is horrible as it just enables you digging further down the rabbit hole. Abstaining from the negative energy in such potent and easily accessible forms is critical to recovering.

[–]Endorsed ContributorObio1 115 points116 points  (11 children)

You should add: You must be social and you must get your ass out of the house as much as humanly possible. Depression feeds on itself when it can feed on itself. Don't give it the chance.

[–]Rufferto_n_Groo 19 points20 points  (1 child)

And remember:

Only you can fix you.

[–]KemalTenebris[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

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