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Field ReportFR - "I accidentally slept with a guy" (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]

Summary : This was a brief back and forth I had with a friend with benefits this morning over text.

Body : Her : I miss you...

Me : Hey, let's meet up Monday after work then.

Her : Honestly I need to stay home and clean... My apartment is a mess...and I don't know that you will like me as much after I tell you what just happened.

Me : What's that?

Her : I may have just accidentally slept with a guy I was hanging out with

An accident

Me : Haha nobody accidentally sleeps with anybody. Also, whatever. We aren't together, remember?

Her : I know...but I still feel guilty but that's also because it wasn't exactly planned and I would take it back in a heartbeat. And yes, I know we aren't together, but I said that if either of us sleeps with anyone, we tell the other person.

Wasn't exactly planned. I can assume she was drinking, as she likes to do that a lot, and they're alone at her place at 2-4 in the morning. All of the events leading up to this are not accidents.

Me : It happens, no worries

Her : Well I'm glad you're taking it much better than I am...

Am I supposed to be upset and / or sad?

Me : Well have I met him?

Her : The only person you've met is Lisa, and no it's not her. He came over just to hang out. Apparently just hanging out with a member of the opposite sex is impossible because somehow that turned into sex.

Me : Gotcha

Her : I hate guys, you all suck. I wish I could just turn lesbian. Few minutes later I'm sorry, I don't hate you. I just currently hate myself.

Me : Why?

Her : Because I didn't really want to sleep with him. But I did.

My ex-fiancé pulled this with me once, and I will never fall for it again. "I didn't really want to sleep with him" my ass.

Lessons learned

  • My lack of emotional investment kept me from getting hurt.
  • She definitely isn't LTR material.
  • This is more of a PSA. Nobody ever accidentally sleeps with anybody, especially in this situation.

Edit I thought I had put Friend with benefits in the Summary. Lesson learned : Proofread better.


[–]2renzy77 390 points391 points  (35 children)

I may have just accidentally slept with a guy I was hanging out with

May have

Like she's not sure if she fucked the guy or not...

accidentally

The floor was wet, she slipped, and fell right onto his dick. Darnit!

I hate guys, you all suck. I wish I could just turn lesbian.

It's men's fault for making her want to have sex with them.

Because I didn't really want to sleep with him. But I did.

Translation: I really wanted to sleep with him. But I don't want to own up to it.

If there's one trait I find the most aggravating with women, it's their complete and utter lack to take any sort of responsibility for the choices they make.

[–][deleted] 115 points116 points  (8 children)

complete and utter lack to take any sort of responsibility for the choices they make

True. In this case, as far as hamsterizations go, "accidentally having sex with a guy" is not far from "the guy forced me to have sex". OP needs to stay far away from this chick.

[–]soadaa 63 points64 points  (4 children)

My ex cheated on me with this dude and basically said he had a power over her and she was afraid to say no, ect ect, and then went back for a second time lol.

[–]BradPill 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Yeah.... she was a true Chad-magnet.

[–]UCISee 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Had a girl claim false sexual assault on her and she said the same thing. In her story I never touched her nor stood in front of her or actually made her do anything, but she "felt this power, I dont know what it was, I just could not leave."

What the fuck does that mean? The whole situation never even happened in the first place, but had it, LEAVE!

[–]soadaa 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Yeah its something I'll never quite understand but would never want to be in that guys (or yours) shoes and deal with possible false rape claims.

Oddly, she never confided in me that it felt like rape or sexual assualt to her. Guess even for her that was too low or something? I honestly expected her to tell me at some point at a very minimum that it felt like assualt or something?

However, she's only ever kept it at didn't cheat, but was stupid but not rape. She hates the guy now and hasn't talk to him since.

[–]UCISee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Be careful with that. This girl with false allegations was trying to break up my GF and I because she felt we should be together. Then said if she couldn't be happy, I wouldn't be either. Claimed to have blocked my number and never wanted to talk to me again etc. then I received multiple 2am phone calls about how she loved me and wanted to be with me etc. Women (or at least the ones I attract) are batshit.

[–]1StoicCrane 29 points30 points  (0 children)

These types of chicks are dangerous. They can get flakey and change their opinion from accidental sex to forced sex with absolutely no warning. Could be because they're having a bad day, going through their cycle, whatever. Wish there were easier ways to spot them.

[–]HeatseekingLogicBomb 6 points7 points  (0 children)

renzy77 had it phrased correctly. Women. AWALT.

OP needs to stay far away from this chick.

I'd say: Everyone needs to remember AWALT and protect themselves accordingly at all times.

[–]HRpuffystuff 34 points35 points  (1 child)

"How do you write women so well?"

"I think of a man, then i take away the reason and accountability."

-As Good As It Gets

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One of my favorite quotes. So spot on!

[–]SeekingTheWay 32 points33 points  (9 children)

It's men's fault for making her want to have sex with them.

But it really is. And that's a good thing.

[–]scholarly_pimp 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Yes and no. She's capable of wanting, without him making her, to have sex. It's more along the lines of she probably doesn't want to fuck things up with OP and is shirking responsibility.

[–]LazyMagus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

At the same time, she doesn't want to handle the the guilt of being dishonest with him. I don't know if it is good or bad.

[–]2renzy77 23 points24 points  (6 children)

You're right, that part of my comment was poorly articulated: being able to attract women is a good thing.

The problem here is that this woman is angry at herself, but rather than deal with those feelings of regret in a healthy manner like an adult, she chooses to project the blame onto men:

I hate guys, you all suck.

It's not surprising. Having grown up in a culture that teaches women they can do no wrong, she probably doesn't possess the psychological tools to deal with the guilt you feel when you know you've done something wrong.

Unfortunately, now that she's placed the blame onto men, she also feels angry and resentful towards men (you guys suck). Most people, when they feel that way, have a tendency to lash out at the people who made them angry and resentful.

With that in mind, look back at the original comment made by the OP:

I can assume she was drinking, as she likes to do that a lot, and they're alone at her place at 2-4 in the morning.

Aren't feminists the ones always saying if she's drunk she can't consent?

You see where I'm going with this?

You've got a woman who was likely under the influence of alcohol, who clearly regrets her decision and who's now placed the blame for this sexual encounter onto the man.

I'm willing to bet this is the exact thought process that goes on in the minds of women who make false claims that are nothing but regret over a drunken hookup.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I once borrowed Deti's Hamsturlator and was able to see this in every single case.

A woman's hamster can be guided into many different directions. The key appears to be this incipient female need to avoid accountability and blame men for anything that happens.

They do the same thing with the Genesis creation story. She at the apple first and she gave it to her husband to eat BUT HE was given dominion over the garden and he didn't do his job- so Eve eating the apple was really the man's fault. See how that works?

Of course this begs the question: If a tree falls in the woods and there is no woman around to complain about it, is it STILL the man's fault?

[–]questionthis 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I love everything you've said. Especially when you said she "doesn't possess the psychological tools to deal deal with the guilt you feel when you know you've done something wrong." This is a very true societal trait that women have adopted because of our modern culture. They feel they can literally do no wrong. They attack things like "slut shaming" to justify their lack of self respect. They post random selfies on social media that don't have any business existing other than to garner likes and compliments, but then proceed to call men creepy for liking the post (unless they have a crush on you which makes it okay). But my favorite example is the "all my exes are assholes" claim. That's a classic. The second I hear that one I walk away.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But my favorite example is the "all my exes are assholes" claim. That's a classic.

She doesn't even stop to realize she is the common denominator. Absolutely zero self reflection.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you can get behind the wheel of a car and still hold personal responsibility for your decisions, I don't see why this cannot stand when you willfully have sex with someone, if you were conscious when partaking in the act.

[–]Kathulos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Little late on the reply. Check out these studies (linked in this blog post) about the regret asymmetry between men and women regarding casual sex. If you want to get really mad spend some time reading the blog itself. http://www.cotwa.info/2013/12/root-cause-of-rape-and-false-rape.html

[–]Endorsed ContributorTheeRyanGrey 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Listen, it's aggravating only if yiu have expectations for them the way you have for men. Things like honor come from knowing yiu have power and control over your actions and the world around you.

The world HAPPENS to women. They GET fucked they don't do the fucking. Their happiness comes from external things and objects.

She may have not planned on fucking him. This is what men need to understand. This entire reddit is about being a man and learning frame and game so you can talk women out of their own way.

All some man did was convince this woman she wanted to have sex with him. His frame was stronger and she acquiesced.

Simple and plain. Look for women who make better decisions and have stronger frames that it takes a stronger man to break.

[–]Get2thechoppah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fuck man. This hits too close to home. I've been on the receiving end of this this rationale someone I was seeing. Still gets me worked up just thinking about it.