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Tears (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by TRP VanguardWhisper

Last week Funsize showed up at my door crying.

Apparently, her aunt, who she was quite close to, even lived with for a year, had unexpectedly died. An accident of some kind.

As she proceeded to soak my shirt, I thought about how this is one of the most difficult trials for men who have not had the "red pill". Tears used as a weapon are bad enough for them, but genuine tears can be worse still. Men instinctively know that we are to women as women are to children, and so they feel responsible to do something, but they don't know what.

I knew what to do, of course.

I didn't say anything. I simply held onto her, let her cry, and didn't show any emotion myself (which was easy, because I felt none). After a little while, I gently pried her off me, got up, walked to my closet, and changed my shirt, then resumed my former position. "It was wet.", I said with a half smile.

"But what if I cry again?"

"Then I will eventually run out of shirts."

She began to giggle uncontrollably.


Men who are not in the know will try to cheer women up. This accomplishes nothing; it only focuses them on their grief and makes them more upset. It makes them insecure because it shows your weakness and neediness... you need to make her smile right away. You need to fix things. You regard her emotional upsets as a dark and terrible catastrophe you must "fix", rather than just the child being a child again.

Girls derive emotional comfort from masculine presence and masculine stability, not from flailing attempts to fix things.

Shut up. Be visibly calm. Be visibly patient. Act like it's no big deal.

Girls' emotions are far stronger and more volatile than yours (as anyone who has ever screwed up a post-cycle knows). They are scared of them. What they need from you is for you to be stable and not get sucked into the madness.


After a little while, she asked my permission to fly back to Texas for the funeral, which I gave, and if could accompany her, which I refused.

"Standard travel rules apply."

"Yes, sir."

And that was that.


Control game is the game you play when you can no longer hide your emotional investment, and pretending to would simply appear as weakness.

The first rule of control game is that you must be visibly stable and in control of yourself. That which moves her, must not move you.


[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime 518 points519 points  (18 children)

Inevitably when you try to fix things, she will instinctively latch on to the idea that emotional behavior yields investment from you. You do not want this.

[–]patrice_plz_come_bac 81 points82 points  (0 children)

Oh f never thougt about it that far

[–]Hyrkan 23 points24 points  (2 children)

That should be expanded in a separate thread.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Punish bad behavior, reward good behavior.

Operant Conditioning.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It’s perfect just the way it is.

[–]Endorsed Contributorsadomasochrist 11 points12 points  (2 children)

This was a classic example of a comfort test manifesting instead as a need instead of a test.

He gave her what she needed and men who try to fix what is happening here, make it worse, for her and themselves.

[–]comcain 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. You just handed me the answer to a very vexing woman problem.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The fact women just want to be heard out and not have their problems solved is almost cliche at this point

[–]PhaedrusHunt 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Inevitably when you try to fix things, she will instinctively latch on to the idea that emotional behavior yields investment from you.

Good stuff. I'm six months into an LTR and for the first time, I lost frame a bit the other night. I won't go into details, but it was mostly alcohol related, and I realized I was giving away frame at the time, so managed to put the brakes on it pretty well.

The next day I had a good amount of time by myself and just got into the worst headspace, totally manstering. Here's the thing, I was thinking about actually having a discussion with her about what was bothering me. MAJOR no-no.

Instead, I retraced not only my own steps, but tried to think from her perspective about where she was coming from. The whole thing came clear to me, mind got still again. Frame regained.

But I think it only takes one or two BIG losses if frame to completely change the dynamic in a relationship, and it will be endless shit tests from there forward.

Also, a quick note about what started the whole thing-- an offhanded but true comment. Here is her text in reply: You'll never value anything as much as your work. That easily translates to "us" being disposable and I see that's the way it is.

I'd told her something along those lines. This was her drunken state shit test. But later when she was sober, she realized it was my ambitious nature that is part of her attraction to me, and that if I were to change that nature to accommodate her, the attraction would fade.

Also she was ovulating, which means she wants to fight and fuck constantly so maybe I'm reading too much into it lol

[–]3whatsthisgarg 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I was thinking about actually having a discussion with her about what was bothering me.

I was going through the one and only bad spot (and it wasn't even that bad) in my LTR a few years ago, the episode you describe happened a few times EXACTLY like this. I actually wrote a note to myself with your EXACT WORDS. The exact same words.

I had to learn it the hard way by making the mistake of actually talking to her, more than once. Sometimes it is better to learn the hard lessons that way, because it really sets it in stone.

Remember this thing you went through, it will happen again. The first time I refrained from talking about it, I was not happy about it. I really really wanted her to know; it took significant restraint. The second time was easier. After that, I would fucking laugh at myself for being so childish.

[–]PhaedrusHunt 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I really really wanted her to know; it took significant restraint. The second time was easier. After that, I would fucking laugh at myself for being so childish.

I actually wrote a note to myself with your EXACT WORDS. The exact same words.

Interesting that we're having this parallel thinking.

Re your first comment that I quoted, yeah haha. It's years of BP programming, via media mostly, that would have us want to talk to them about what's bothering us. That's female behavior. Men will actually take a woman's feelings into consideration. A woman just has to be trained, because the moment they start caring about your feelings you've already dropped a notch.

At the end of the day she's glad I put my work first.

[–]3whatsthisgarg 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's years of BP programming,

In my case it was just me being a dick and wanting her to feel bad! But talking won't do that, she'll just get defensive and deny she did anything wrong. The better way to make her reflect and change her bad behavior is just give her the stink eye and freeze her out. If she cares, she'll come around. Cf half my posts; and yes, you used the correct phrase: A woman just has to be trained

At the end of the day she's glad I put my work first.

This is massively generalizable. At the end of day she's glad I do everything My Way. First for the simple reason that My Way is the better way, because I have the good ideas about how my time and energy should be spent. But more deeply because women just naturally respect a man who doesn't bend to a woman's silly requests. Subconsciously, they know they are silly. You don't need to point it out to them though.

[–]MEpicLevelCheater[M] 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Pointing you per the request of an EC.

[–]party_next_door 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is even more-so amplified in BPD individuals

[–]PID1_ 1 points1 points [recovered]

Keep it on a short leash, and only for valid outbreaks.

[–]TheReformist94 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Tell her to shut the fuck up and deal with it.cant stand people who cry especially girls as it's always manipulation

[–]UnstoppableMelody 147 points148 points  (23 children)

Very enlightening, thank you.

"Standard travel rules apply."

I don't know what is reasonable so could you please elaborate?

[–]DullIntroduction 169 points170 points  (0 children)

It's not his role to accompany her to the funeral, he's not family, they do not live together, and she'll have her family there to support her.

[–]Yngwie_is_god 50 points51 points  (4 children)

What does that phrase mean?

[–]offbeast 71 points72 points  (0 children)

It means that he has refused to give in to ridiculous requests in the past enough times to where she isnt upset or surprised that he isnt going to travel out of state with her. hence the "standard" part. boundaries have been drawn without much being negotiated, debated or spoken aloud, but they are nonetheless unwritten "rules".

[–]tinderoglu 1 points1 points [recovered]

It means she sits in economy while he gets his dick sucked by the air hostesses and tells war tales to the pilots in the cockpit.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Don't worry, you got a laugh from her.

[–]DrizzlyShrimp36 230 points231 points  (53 children)

She asked your permission? To go to her aunt's funeral?

[–]Ch1pp 213 points214 points  (50 children)

Glad I'm not the only one who thought this was a bit OTT.

[–]DrizzlyShrimp36 1 points1 points [recovered]

A lot of the material I see on this sub is absolutely great and very consistent with everything I have ever observed in my day to day life. But some dudes just completely dehumanize women and I feel like that's why TRP has such a bad rep

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

She is a sub

[–]LibertyIsNotFree 14 points15 points  (1 child)

TPE. Only relationship worth having.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper[S] 54 points55 points  (18 children)

We don't crave a good "rep".

We crave the power to help other, younger, less experienced men get what they want from life and be happy.

What you haven't come to believe, yet, is that women love being pets. They do not love having that fact pointed out by a stranger, or to a stranger, but if their man treats them like a pet, they love it.

Learn how to do this, and they will love you for it.

[–]FlamingAmmosexual 75 points76 points  (4 children)

This scratches the surface of something I think a lot of people know deep down but nobody dares mention. A lot of guys just can't accept it.

There's a reason the 50 Shades series sold over 100 million copies even though it has #MeToo scenes all throughout it. There's a reason upwards of 70% of all women secretly have rape fantasies. There's a reason a lot of guys first come here because they don't understand why they, the nice guy, get passed over for the abusive asshole.

Women secretly want to be controlled, dominated, and to a certain extent treated as an object of desire. They just don't admit it because of how it makes them look to society.

[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 2 points3 points  (0 children)

to a certain extent treated as an object of desire

It’s not just “to a certain extent”. It’s part of the absolute core of what turns them on.

[–]SKRedPill 6 points7 points  (2 children)

You know, I think the very nature of female sexuality itself explains why females say one thing on the surface and do another, have stuff like ASD, hide their sexuality, pretend to not want sex, etc.etc.

It's one thing that their sexuality is reactive (unlike men's) and needs to be turned on and escalated , but if they didn't put up those facades, they'd have no power in sexual selection and would be vulnerable to unattractive men.

The whole sex shaming and cover up culture is a feminine invention - and it's a shit test.

[–]_the_shape_ 2 points3 points  (1 child)

The whole sex shaming and cover up culture is a feminine invention - and it's a shit test.

And so is sex-positive feminism, also a shit test.

[–]SKRedPill 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's basically NAWALT on steroids. All women always present themselves as NAWALT - it's their way of competition. But that just proves AWALT to any trained eye.

Women put so much crab mentality pressure on themselves it's frankly ridiculous how they blame patriarchy for it - in a way this blaming the outside world that IS mild BPD, but you can't have a female without a certain amount of it either. A woman always thinks that the world is acting on her (similar to her sexual principle).

We know very well that unrestricted sexual freedom is the beginning of the end for a civilization. Not that sexual toxic shame is healthy by any means. Sex positive feminism is a shit test at the other end.

Femininity leans to the water principle in taoism and yoga, they fluctuate left and right, up and down. If masculinity doesn't set boundaries to it, first it results in an identity crisis, and then it becomes BPD. Masculinity leans toward earth.

[–]A_yoshi_Egg 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Why the fuck are people downvoting you? Every girl ive ever had loves being teased like that.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There was a recent blooper brigade here, there's often a few days of clingers hanging on and shitting up the place after such an event that are triggered when red truth collides with their programming.

Pay no attention to the votes... every asshole gets one.

[–]O--- 4 points5 points  (1 child)

What you haven't come to believe, yet, is that women love being pets.

There's a thing called nuance though. Let me guess, when they cry emotional abuse, it's just a shit test, right?

[–]BaelorsBalls -5 points-4 points  (7 children)

Shit I would love whoever treated me as a pet. I’m dude. Human animal instinct. Has nothing to do with woman v man

[–]moonlandings 13 points14 points  (1 child)

You should seek counseling.

[–]BaelorsBalls -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

WhAt y’all never had someone care for you psychos? Figures

[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Says the cuck who wears a choker collar to appease his woman in exchange for once per quarter handjobs.

[–]BaelorsBalls 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahaha you should try it! Says the cuck who come to reddit for advice on how to be a man XD TRP way too serious This is fun

[–]look_good 0 points1 point  (2 children)

LOL. that’s undeniably a bitch trait, w.e. it is what it is, live ur own life

[–]BaelorsBalls 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Hahaha finally someone who finds this funny There are some crazy ass people on this sub

[–]look_good 0 points1 point  (0 children)

trp might have saved my life if we’re being completely honest 🤷‍♂️

[–]MEpicLevelCheater[M] -17 points-16 points  (2 children)

But some dudes just completely dehumanize women and I feel like that's why TRP has such a bad rep

We do not care about our "rep," newb. You do not know the nature of OP's relationship with his woman, so you are not in a position to judge it or him based on one comment.

You are now temp-banned for concern trolling. Do it again and your ban becomes permanent.

[–]TheGameJerk -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This entire post is fabricated.

[–]aussydog 41 points42 points  (6 children)

She's asking permission because it gives her sollace and purpose. Subs actually actively seek this out and desire it deeply. It may not look normal to you but for a D/s relationship this is ...soothing to her.

It goes against your natural instincts from what you've been taught growing up but it's not as bad as you think it is.

[–]187oddfuture 34 points35 points  (0 children)

It doesn't go against your natural instincts, it goes against your feminized social conditioning. Your deep, natural, masculine instincts are to be dominant with your woman/women.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 6 points7 points  (1 child)

My sub girl theory:

The concept of gods — abstract, almighty immortals that create structure and purpose, allows people to indulge their follower instincts without that being a person in their everyday vicinity (ego). A middle man like catholic clergy, reverends, or witch doctors act as the messenger on behalf of the immortals. All a sub girl is doing is materializng the abstraction and cutting out the middleman by deifying a mortal in a sense. Doesnt seem so weird when you put it that way, considering the vast majority of humans of every era of history were religious.

[–]aussydog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No need to go into metaphysical depths for the mind of a sub. The reason for their submission isn't important. Their internal reasoning is quite wide and varied.

I've got one sub that enjoys submission because it allows her to turn her brain off and just react. And I've got another sub that specifically gets off on the feeling of complete powerlessness and being "owned" by her master.

[–]Ch1pp 13 points14 points  (2 children)

I just can't imagine spending so much time dealing with giving her permission to do every little thing. I'd rather be getting on with my own life than giving her permission to buy a scarf when it's cold or whatever.

[–]aussydog 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Depends on the D/s relationship and the type of purposeful restrictions and rules that have been put in place. Personally any D/s relationship I've been in has purely been in the bedroom and revolves solely around sex. But others expand it into an entire lifestyle in and outside the bedroom. To each their own.

Something like asking for permission to purchase a scarf may have evolved out of a need from the sub to get control of her finances. She's outsourcing that purchase power to her Dom as a sign both of her respect for him and another indication of her submission to his will.

I doubt OP is required to give permission for every little purchase she needs but more likely just specific area such as simple superfluous things like shoes or accessories.

This is just my guesswork on the matter. OP could go into the ins and outs of you really want to know.

[–]Ch1pp 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get that and if she asks permission to go shopping, or to see friends, or to orgasm then fine but asking permission to go to your Aunt's funeral?? If my nan died I'm going to help out my family and fuck anyone who says otherwise. The idea of someone (like a boss) telling me no and that I might obey them seems disgusting on an instinctual level. I know women think differently but that level of obedience still makes my skin crawl.

[–]Guardian_of_Justice 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Smells like bullshit a little.

[–]Guardian_of_Justice -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Smells like bullshit a little.

[–]dukeluce 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should read the email and gun thing then

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 87 points88 points  (4 children)

A part of frame is preventing emotional induction. Do not absorb a woman’s feelings, positive or negative. Her emotion should not be the cause of yours. Emotions and instincts are the cause of all decisions and perception. If you give her that power, she will have control over you. That goes for everyone, male or female.

[–]Zech4riah 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Feminine positive energy around me makes me feel good and masculine. I see now reason why I should suppress these feelings. Actually this leads to positive feedback cycle. I feel and act more masculine -> girl gets the man she wants -> she gets happier which results more feminine energy which I like.

If she start acting bitchy, I draw my presence and attention to reinforce only positive behaviour.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Ever seen a desperate guy or an orbiter around a girl he has no chance with? One he’s just glad to speak to regardless of her behavior? He looks to her to see how he should feel. When shes laughing, he’s giggidy. When she’s sad, he feels down. When she gets ‘irritated’ at him for not doing what she wants, he feels insecure. When she’s angry at a 3rd party, he will share that emotion also.

Those happy emotions are because she’s getting exchange-free attention by said orbiter, or from another guy she’s communicating with or talking about to a friend over the phone that the orbiter doesn't see. Those sad emotions are caused by things that don't matter, by other men that she’s interested in, or are fake to summon the orbiter for attention.

This is what a lot of men can’t do: discriminate based on context and how it all relates to them.He can’t tell the difference between pseudo signs of interest, manipulation, or the genuine. He’s not his own reference point.

[–]Zech4riah 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Check, didn't understand that your original post was directed more to orbiters/blue pilled guys.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used that as an obvious example to illustrate my point. But it often comes more subtly, and isnt packaged as ‘evil’ like OPs situation. How you handle these subtleties is what seperates the proficient from the advanced. There’s a term for that phenomenon in business but forgot it.

[–]Winterwolf98 60 points61 points  (0 children)

Brilliant control and she seems like a well trained sub. That's the dream.

[–]Endorsed ContributorTaipanshimshon 35 points36 points  (1 child)

Basic rules for female emotion - be their oak. Provide a secure anchor for their feeling. Provide a fulcrum for them to rest on and regain their sense of stability. It’s not that her aunt or Mom died. ( it is in this case obviously ) it’s that her sense of the stability of her world was shattered.

You get to decide what she needs. Comfort in the sense of stability. If she needs you to do something she may ask or you may eventually offer. “ can you please book a flight for me... I can’t adult right now “

This also applies to “what should I wear”

Regaining her sense of stability is why she came to OP and this is a very positive and useful provider trait.

[–]cBIGONE 20 points21 points  (2 children)

I think this can be summed up into a very simply rule. "Women don't want solutions, they just wants a rock who will listen and be strong"

[–]1yeahmaybe2 7 points8 points  (1 child)

[–]DrHolz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for suggesting this video it's hilarious and true

[–]gtjohn84 31 points32 points  (5 children)

I’m 14 years into a woman with 2 of our kids....hold em, never break frame. They feel safe and you maintain position. This is a perfect example of maintaining frame. I wish I had the same level of control when my 14 yr old daughter is crying

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper[S] 102 points103 points  (4 children)

The trick is to replace your definition of "okay", and your definition of your responsibilities.

Right now, when your daughter cries, you feel like you have a responsibility to do something because she is not okay.

Except you don't, and she is okay. Because nothing is fundamentally wrong. She's gonna be fine. She's just having some feelings. This is part of a the package deal that is life as a woman. They cry at sentimental commercials, for fuck's sake.

You are not supposed to make your daughter feel better. You are supposed to feed, clothe, shelter, and teach her. You don't do anything about her crying any more than you would do something about her sneezing.

She runs into her room and slams the door, you let her. You go on with your day.

She hugs you and sobs on your shoulder, you let her. You tease her a bit about getting your shirt all wet.

It's no big deal. So make it no big deal.

[–]gtjohn84 -5 points-4 points  (3 children)

I’m really fortunate that my eldest (14F) is learned to an extent of r/theredpill so she knows how to accept certain things (as in male frame)...but...as a redpill Dad, I’ve had to explain the PUA basics and the difference between an Alpha and a Beta clown who knows lines....it’s fucking hard work

[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Talking with your own daughter about the fight club?

Huff Post article "The day I found out my dad is a misogynist connected to an internet hate group" coming in 3... 2..

[–]Zech4riah 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Why would you explain her the PUA basics...?

She is a woman, she naturally distincts the betas from alphas. Additionally even tho she knew every PUA secret - a good PUA will still pull and fuck her because women can't control their feelings. That's why for example soft nexts work even though woman knows what's going on.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No, just no. Stop that.

[–]TheGameJerk 1 points1 points [recovered]

This post is the embodiment of a 16 year old writing fanfic about themselves being cool. It is every single aspect of TRP applied in the wrong way that only an edgy teenager could muster up inside their head. Congrats on fooling this sub, I guess it’s really gone to shit, eh?

“Standard travel rules apply”

Literally middle school tier fanfic. No woman who is worth pursuing would hear that line and not lose it at you. Wtf lmao. Get a life faggot.

[–]Do not send modmail to my personal inboxCrazyHorseInvincible[M] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Congrats on fooling this sub, I guess it’s really gone to shit, eh?

Yeah, like you care so much, oh He Who Has Never Commented Here Before. (Yes, we mods can see your history with one click.)

The dude you are talking about is one of like ten dudes who founded this sub. If he's such a bullshit artist, why on earth has have his insights worked so well for the rest of us?

Wait, maybe we're all lying, too. Maybe we are Russian chatbots. Wait, a minute, come to think of it, how do you know that other human beings are real?

Maybe we all just exist in your virtual reality. The universe might be just an elaborate simulation designed to entertain you! No one else is real! You are God!

...

Unfortunately, you're also banned for concern trolling.

[–]Hyper_Sonik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol awesome. The amount of newbies and trolls on here lately is mind boggling. There's been a huge spike. I'm concerned.

[–]2kez88 18 points19 points  (0 children)

""But what if I cry again?"

"Then I will eventually run out of shirts.""

Probably the most poetic thing i've read on this sub, grats

[–]TheStumblingWolf 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This is the sort of post I highly value. Short, concise and clearly demonstrating what works and why.

[–]Ninokun 22 points23 points  (5 children)

I would not want any woman calling me Sir. if ur into roleplay then thats on u. and u dont need to follow a fucking Guide how to act in these Situations. u can do what the fuck u want just dont bend over backwards. how u got gold for this pile of shit is lost to my imagination.

[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 1 point2 points  (1 child)

What if you're playing Warhammer and you're the master of a guild and you have a woman in your guild?

Now imagine, some people don't play games but they still want to have the same kick from something else. Like, "Real Life (TM)"

[–]StudntRdyTeachrApear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmao. We live in a clown world.

[–]Goddamnpanda 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The gold is because theredpill has become the "Reddit home for wayward betas".

[–]DrankOfSmell 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Women want super heros, not normal human beings. If you feel the need to act like a normal human being, you haven’t digested the red pill. Be a fucking super hero until being a super hero is what it means to be a normal human male to you. You should be emotionally untouchable in the eyes of the opposite sex. Period.

This is a true “welcome to the red pill”/“welcome to the real world” topic here.

[–]AshyLarry27 1 point2 points  (9 children)

What's the take on the opposite. Father just passed and I've been a stone to people in person about it. I fundamentally believe in "suffer in silence" as you shift a heavy emotional burden on people with such topics. I want them to know I am doing fine so they don't feel the added obligation to "cheer me up." Even through texts, I remind them I am taking it day by day and doing fine knowing he's in a better place. I try not to come off sociopathic about it so it's been a strange juggling act.

  • "suffer in silence"

Would anyone else have handled it differently?

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper[S] 1 point2 points  (8 children)

Grieve to male friends, not to your women.

[–]AshyLarry27 0 points1 point  (7 children)

I've had a lot of female friends reach out harder, Ive kept the same stance of acting fine and emphasizing the "he's in a better place." Anything different or stay the course? I tend to change topics to something more positive before just dropping the text or conversation.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper[S] 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Women do not understand their own nature.

They are trying to get you to open up and grieve to them, because they think they're okay with that. After all, what kind of monster wouldn't?

Well, pretty much every woman, that's what kind of monster. Women say they are perfectly fine with this, because they believe they are. They are not.

[–]AshyLarry27 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I fully get this, I just want to know at this point to just stay the course and act as if everything is fine with them, or would I be better of saying something different?

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper[S] 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Anytime a woman says some form of the verb "to be" to you, just substitute the appropriate form of the verb "to seem" or "to appear".

So when a woman asks you to be honest about your feelings, just parse that as "seem honest about your feelings".

So just talk to them as if you are slightly bummed out at this moment, but you'll get over it because you are a stoic badass.

[–]AshyLarry27 1 point2 points  (2 children)

See! That's why you're the EC and I am over here choking trying to find water to chase this shit down with

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

As you are, I once was.

The trick here is that practice hiding emotions is practice controlling them. If you pretend long enough and well enough that shit doesn't bother you, it actually won't.

Expression of an emotion and experience of an emotion are not two totally separate things. Feel happy, and you'll tend to smile... but also if you smile, you'll tend to feel happier.

Emotional repression behaves in some ways analogously to physical strength. Try to lift something too heavy, you'll just hurt yourself. Never lift anything heavy, you'll never get stronger. Lift things that are just a bit too heavy for you, and pretty soon you'll be able to lift heavier things.

[–]Terdmuffin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what we mean when we say to "be her rock". Don't let her tears affect you. Sometimes all a girl needs is you to hold her while she cries and assure her everything is going to be okay. It's going to be okay because you're the rock and you always have been and always will be. You're not going to MAKE it okay, or do anything or fix anything. You don't need to change her emotion, you need to let her experience it so she can move past it.

Had a similar experience with a girl I was seeing last year. Huge into cats (had 3, called them her kiddens, helped care for some local stray cats, etc). Say what you want about cat ladies but she LOVED these cats. One day there was a bad storm with some flooding and she found 3 drowned kittens in the street. She called me balling so I went over and did pretty much what op did. I held her while she cried and assured her there was nothing she could have done to prevent it. That's what she needed. She didn't need me to do anything but be there. It was like she needed me there so she felt safe enough to express the emotion of it.

Not all crying is the same though. Once, early on, I thought she was trying to manipulate me by crying and I told her to "cut that crying shit out because it doesn't work on me" and I think I blew her mind but it worked.

[–]WalterEArmstrong 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Females learn at a young age how to run that racket! And that's what tears are, a manipulative racket.

[–]tropzumuch 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is TRP basic setting. This is a post that actually teaches shit.

Thanks

[–]VforWalrus 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Can someone elaborate more on the post cycle remark. Like a steroid cycle?

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper[S] 18 points19 points  (3 children)

Yeah.

Fuck up your T levels by not doing proper post-cycle therapy, and for a week or so, you'll get, not the full experience, but just a glimpse of what it must be like to be a woman.

If your T levels sink low, sentimental stuff starts to affect you just enough so you can imagine what it must be like to have them even lower AND be bursting full of estrogen at the same time.

Women literally cannot control their emotions. Getting mad at them for not doing so is unreasonable, senseless, and pointlessly cruel. Instead, men need to learn not to take women's moods seriously.

[–]patrice_plz_come_bac 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Instead, men need to learn not to take women's moods seriously.

[–]trulytrulyisay 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Real talk, that last paragraph makes me feel like shit because I tend to get audibly irritated when my own Mother flies off the handle on a whim. This will be the ultimate frame excercise.

[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck I’ve had to lay some frame smackdown on my own mother recently.

[–]imherebutimalsothere 1 points1 points [recovered]

Cringest thing I’ve read all week.

[–]redd_reality 1 point2 points  (6 children)

Literally the only thing that keeps a man capable of this level of frame control is heavy lifting, clean diet, no (or very, very little) drinking/drugs.

I'm at the point where I have to pick over maintaining rock solid frame or weekend drinking. Unfortunately for me there is no middle ground.

Top notch post op👌

[–]tranquil_af 0 points1 point  (5 children)

What make you say that lifting and good diet are the source of such a titanium frame?

[–]EnragedParrot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd reframe it as "looking out for number one and personal development". Just so happens lots of RP'ers translate that as working out.

[–]JoRocKStaR 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I honestly think that lifting can help you control emotions and check your ego. If you can lift a heavy ass weight quielty i.e., no grunts, sighs or exagerrative movements and in a control fashion; you can deflect emotions

[–]tranquil_af 0 points1 point  (1 child)

But physical strength/stability is different from emotional stability.

[–]JoRocKStaR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Responding to the physyical is a choice though. That's the way I think about it.

[–]abh985 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good post bro

[–]Lord_Teapot 1 points1 points [recovered]

why would she ask your permission to go to her aunt's funeral?

[–]tranquil_af 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This post + Comment thread = Goldmine

[–]chuck23y 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I misunderstood a trp rules. By this I mean never use women for emotional tampons, and never let them use you for this purpose. In this post you were a fix point in her life, but still an emotional tampon. My question is: Can we let women to tell us their emotinal problems?

I was invited by a girl HB7 for her cousin's wedding. This girl always wanted to talk about her ex and their problems, but I refused because " I don't care about other people's drama". Long story short I ended up in her bed, despite I puked my belly off thanks to the horrible food. My question again: Should have I listened to the girl's problems about the ex?

[–]kyzen142 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am curious how her attitude been towards you after this incident?

[–]throwawayclarkken 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My life can easily be broken down in various posts here since major events in life were evolving around women in my life and why they were leaving. Why someone who was so fond of me one fine day says that she's full of contempt and regret and walks away. When younger I cried in front of women not because the pain of loss would get any better but the idea sold to men that crying makes you lighter and feel better about it. Women are ruthless they see your weakness and wait a while to leave you when you are even more vulnerable. I wish I knew this red pill much earlier in life. Not because I want to keep those who left me applying the redpill knowledge but because it makes me see the monkey business unfold itself right in frnt of me

[–]Bando89 1 points1 points [recovered]

Never thought this sub could stoop so low. A girl you are dating had a close relative die and all you can think of is 'soaking my shirt' and 'keep frame'? 'Standard travel rules apply'? I feel honestly sad for you.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (4 children)

What would you do as an alternative, then?

How does your narrative differ and why is it better?

Your feeling are making you miss the point.

OH wait, wrong sub. Nobody cares that you feel sad.

[–]Bando89 1 points1 points [recovered]

Feelings? More like 'basic human empathy'. What would I do as an alternative? Try adopting Kant's categorical imperative - Treat others how you wish to be treated.

Would you be happy if your uncle died and your partner said 'I'll run out of t-shirts if you cry' or 'standard travel rules'? No, you would be here bitching how women are crazy emotionals being that can't even show empathy in a moment like that because they are too focused on themselves.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You just assume women want to be treated like men?

How arrogant of you.

Again, wrong sub. Go to purplepill if you want to have a feelgood circlejerk.

How extra naive and entitled to jump on this sub, obviously not do an ounce of research or think at all, but simply spout that you believe the opposite of the knowledge base here.

Entitled arrogant naive loudmouth.

I look forward to your removal and ban.

[–]SpaceEnthusiast 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You're missing the point. His comments made the woman start laughing. That's a good thing. She got a pattern interrupt and felt better. I would very very much like to be treated in this way - if I'm sad, to be made to smile again.

The "out of t-shirts" comment is perfect IMHO. If you've ever been in that kind of situation, you would know. It's a really good way for him to tell her that she can cry all day long and that he'll be there for her, without explicitly saying it.

And these situations can be fucking weird sometimes. I, for example, tend to get the crying boner. Comforting a crying woman seems to turn me on, and it gets a pretty good laugh from her too. "This turns you on you fucking weirdo?", "Yes".

[–]EnragedParrot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Christ yes.

But it's a good thing actually. Can't count the number of times her crying on me like that has led to sex/bj. Just tell her it's her fault, and and her responsibility. They lap that shit up.

[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Let the sadness make you a better man, Guido. Write a better post. Give a better personal example. Get some upvotes for once.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel honestly sad for you.

I honestly don't think about you at all.

But here's a free hint: Do not treat women how you would want to be treated. Their needs are different.

[–]thisisrita -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

For real... I wonder what happened in his childhood. This is excellent study material for psychology.

[–]dontscreef -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Nobody ever requested a comment from a cunt hole like you, fucking dipshit donkey. Go shave your mother or something, dumbfuck ravioli eating fool.

[–]divorcedbp -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I’m not going to try to fix a goddamned thing for her. At best, it’s going to just deflect it to another of her (possibly exaggerated or fabricated) problems, and at worst it’s going to make her repulsed by me.

I’ve internalized, for good or for bad, the mentality that her problems are meaningless to me. This doesn’t mean I’m dismissive or inconsiderate, but it does mean that I have learned that the only path that leads to a nonzero chance of success is to treat any of her difficulties as I would a child’s who has just fallen off his bicycle. I’m not going to ridicule her, but I’m also not going to entertain it - the only way not to lose is not to play.

[–]TheKingGoliath -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Confused. Is funsize a sugar baby?