Field ReportRan into my Oneitis as she was on a date with another guy, and I was on a date with another girl (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]

A waitress at a cafe I go to often gave me her phone number a few weeks ago. Super hot, seemed "down to Earth", lots of interests in common. She acted like she was really into me. You guessed it, Oneitis/Unicorn City.

We went out a couple times. Last Saturday I went for a kiss at the end of our second date and she dodged it. Before TRP I would have thought to myself "Well, maybe she just wasn't ready...she is really shy after all...she said so herself." Even after I've been on this sub for 6 months or so, my undead beta subconscious still wants to believe this snowflake unicorn bullshit.

Anyway, I ghosted her after she dodged the kiss. The undead beta in the back of my head held out hope that she would call me and say she was nervous and ask to go out again, but the rational, TRP side of me knew that if I were Chad, we would have fucked already.

Last night I met up with a girl I met on Tinder. We went to my favorite bar which is close to where this waitress works. Sure enough, there was the waitress with another guy outside the bar. We exchanged hellos. My ego took a brief hit but it was a good learning experience. I went with my date into the bar, had some drinks, and a couple hours later I took her back to my place and fucked her.

Moral of the story: That girl you think is obsessing over you because you haven't texted her in 3 days has a cock jammed down her throat as several others guys are blowing up her phone. Don't fantasize her into a snowflake, AWALT.

[–]RolandTheDickslinger 416 points417 points  (50 children)

You went for kiss on the second date?

Always be escalating. Always be closing. Always act as if you're going to fuck her today.

[–]a_sad_magikarp 208 points209 points  (10 children)

A - always, b - be, c - closing. Always. Be. Closing.

[–]Usuqamadiq 12 points13 points  (2 children)

[–]lettheflamedie 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This was the only link I expected. And the only worthwhile scene in the movie.

[–]reddick1 66 points67 points  (29 children)

My mentality is if the logistics aren't in place to fuck, don't even go on the date. If you go anyway, then don't spend much time with her and leave early saying you have other plans. Then the second date continue where you left off but you better make serious moves.

[–]1htbf 25 points26 points  (27 children)

It doesn't make any sense. I often build tension on the first date and end it with a kiss that they are visibly waiting for. Then I find out. If she almost asks for the second date, it's straight to fucking. If she doesn't, she wasn't worth my dick to start with.

[–]dontbedenied 1 points1 points [recovered]

If she almost asks for the second date

That's what threw me off with this girl. On the first date she was already offering suggestions for a second date and texted me afterwards suggesting we go out again soon. Same with the second date, making plans for future dates. I figured the kiss was in the bag and we'd be fucking in no time, but hell, maybe that's just something she does. Suggest future plans just to keep you interested, then doesn't put out when you make a move.

[–]1htbf 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Girls do that often, it's just part of conversation for them. It doesn't mean anything at all.

The real indicator is how hungry she is for your dick and how good you are at teasing her.

[–]2Dmva100 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Shit tested you into becoming an orbiter. Failed it. Agreeing to hang out again after that with no sex on the first date showed your investment level to her. Should've said 'maybe.'

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Or maybe she did want to fuck you and you snatched defeat from the jaws of victory by failing to escalate on that date. If you had a time machine and just did and said a few things differently, she may have become a plate. Don’t worry, it has happened to all of us. Keep learning, keep improving your game and appearance and always be escalating.

[–]hugaddiction 8 points9 points  (4 children)

She might have been into you on the first two dates, but as we all know, girls get offered dick all day every day, and she might have met a guy after you two had hung out that she was more interested in. Imo, your doing the right thing, NEXT!

[–]dontbedenied 1 points1 points [recovered]

Thanks, I made the same realization. There's also gonna be someone with more [fill in the blank] than me. No use in getting butthurt about it.

[–]hugaddiction 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I saw a good Rolo T. quote recently, and think on this so that you stop the next chad from fucking your oneitis. She should be yours damnit!

"accepting truth of our disqualifications causes discomfort, discomfort causes action for change" its summarized, but it meant a lot to me when I read it.
I have made many positive life changes the last few years since I found TRP, and all of this stuff is constant work, but the first step is accepting that there are things about all of us that prevent us from having perfect game. except chad, he's crushing it as we speak

[–]dontbedenied 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Great advice. Rollo T. is such a lifesaver. I had such a fucked up view of women for so long. Grew up in a hardcore traditional conservative family then lived in a university progressive feminist college town bubble for 10 years. The worst of both worlds. I got redpilled hardcore this year, super-painful but the best learning experience of my life, without a doubt.

I like this advice a lot. Can't win 'em all. I was a little butthurt but still brought a girl home and fucked her, analyzed what I fucked up and what was out of my control, did some reading and hit the gym. All you can do is all you can do. I'll keep moving forward.

[–]yomo86 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Advice for the young man: biologically women have the emotional memory of a goldfish as a built-in feature. This ensures she is ready for the next Chad to make babies with if you don't turn out to be this guy. And also explains why they do not develop onitis unless the man im question is at least 3 points higher her SMV.

After you fucked her, her imperative tells her that she is in need of male protection preferably of the guy who fucked her, as infanticide is common among mammals including apes and maybe humans. Remember: Punishment for infidality was death or as a more civilized version shunning back in the good ole days.

tl:dr go for the lay asap. Discard her if it didn't work out.

[–]Pogodick8in69 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Fell for this too. She’s using you as a ride, atm and friend to do activities. A girl that wants to fuck will just hit you up to grab something to eat somewhere close to fuck etc, nothing fancy. You probably can hit the waitress up again but literally it should be to grab a drink and head back to your place.

[–]dontbedenied 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Yup. In my experience, if a girl is into you, she’ll make it easy for you, and it’s up to you not to blow it.

I won’t waste my time with this girl again. She’s already got into my head and she’s not worth the headache, I don’t care how hot she is.

[–]Pogodick8in69 2 points3 points  (1 child)

It take zero effort to text a chick or randomly start hit on them in Snapchat. Just idk if you get bored in six weeks or six months hit them up. She knows now you are not afraid to bounce and you can get another bitch ASAP.

[–]Hung_Chad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it were me, any girl I next who texts me afterward gets a Netflix and chill invite, nothing more. Girls sometimes wake up when their efforts to game you into commitment fail, and despite what some people around here say they actually do like sex, so they'll go for sex when they can't get commitment.

[–]Kenisis24 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I’m new to TRP, but wouldn’t planning future dates be some kind of shit test?

[–]MilkMoney111 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I guess it depends on context. If you took her out to a nice place and paid for dinner and drinks, and she's talking about another nice place to go to during the current date, I would immediately be like "Nope." I would try and close THAT night and if it didn't happen, drop her. Ideally you should get a feel for the girl if she's like that before the first date. But any sign she's just there for food would mean a hard next in my opinion. Remember, you're too valuable to be courting some free-loader.

[–]RolandTheDickslinger 20 points21 points  (0 children)

You’re wasting everyone’s times: not only yours, but also hers. If ending with a kiss is your goal, that’s the best you can get. Even if she is DTF!

ESCALATE, for baby Jesus’ sake! Go for the kiss ASAP, not at the fucking end. If you had some chemistry before the first date, you could go for the kiss at the start of the date, before saying hello, actually (yes, I’ve done it and it works).

Always aim for the highest you can. Repeat in your mind: “I’m fucking this broad in the asshole tonight” “I’m fucking this broad in the asshole tonight” “I’m fucking this broad in the asshole tonight” ...

[–]uniqueeleni -1 points0 points  (8 children)

And what if she asks for a second date but doesn't want to fuck so soon?

[–]PinkySlayer 11 points12 points  (7 children)

Lol girls don't change their mind about wanting to fuck you. Don't listen to the excuses women give about it being "too soon" or any of that shit, there is not a girl alive today except for extremely devout religious women who hasn't had a one night stand or fucked on the first date. If she doesn't want to fuck you on the first date she doesn't want to fuck you period, if she does want to she'll do everything in her power to make it happen.

[–]uniqueeleni 5 points6 points  (5 children)

Yeah but when girls want something more serious, they won't sleep with you right away because they don't want you to think they are a slut and "not relationship material".

[–]MagicGainbow 3 points4 points  (2 children)

That only happens when you are provider only.

[–]uniqueeleni 3 points4 points  (1 child)

When we are talking about a serious committed relationship, some providing is bound to happen. Because, even if the guy is alpha as fuck (in fact, especially if he is) the woman will want him to commit to her and provide things for her, so she'll want him to take her seriously. That's why she won't put out too quickly, even if she wants to. There are three reasons why a woman will have sex on you on the first date:

  1. She likes you, but not enough to pursue a relationship with you.
  2. She likes you and wants a relationship with you, but is too insecure and thinks that she is not enough. She hopes that she could trick you into a relationship by playing it cool and bonding with sex.
  3. She'd like a relationship with you, but circumstances don't allow it (long distance, someone's married etc).

In general, if she is fairly confident and into you, she will wait for like 3 dates or so until you have sex. Because she'll want to have a foundation for a relationship created (texting everyday etc) before sex happens, so it'll be easier to get what she wants. If a woman likes you A LOT, she's gonna want a relationship.

[–]karlkrum 2 points3 points  (1 child)

unless she thinks you're higher value than her and she needs to prove herself

[–]uniqueeleni 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Needs to prove herself by appearing as a low value slut? I don't think so. Women may desire sex, but they don't think with their dick and they can restrain themselves when they have to.

[–]beginner_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My mentality is if the logistics aren't in place to fuck, don't even go on the date. Not everyone lives within minutes of bars in a city with many options. Even if you live nearby, you will need 5 min to walk to your car and then a 10-15 min drive. Enough to kill the mood.

First date for me is to screen out the most obvious crazies or the ones that cheated with their pics. In my experience it's optional to make a move (kiss) put at least teasing and touching them is required. For the second date you invite them to your home to "cook diner together".

[–]plainposter 14 points15 points  (0 children)

so true. if you aren't able to fuck her on the first/2nd hangout then it's ghosting time and back to lifting. if you were enough of your own man, there would have been major attraction already. meaning, if you were jacked, clearly busy af with your own projects, valuable hobbies, lots of other girls on the go, clearly social proof through the roof, then she would have easily sucked your cock on the first date/hangout, provided that you can escalate like a man and bring her back to your place and fuck the daylights out of her.

[–]akaksy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

another point: oneitis after she gave OP her number a few weeks ago? come on

[–]WestyWorld 7 points8 points  (1 child)

If your SMV Is way higher than hers she will either reciprocate your kiss on the second date or if you play it cool and ghost her after she will likely text back. If it’s not high enough she will be on to the next one that very evening.

Really all depends on the SMV gap. The bigger the gap, the easier and sooner you can go for that kiss.

[–]RolandTheDickslinger 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You spent two dates without kissing her, your SMV is way low.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Worse than this is going for the kiss AT THE END of the date! Readers, never ever do this, escalate early, go for the kiss early, waiting til the end of the date confirms that you are a sad little beta.

[–]LazyMagus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Black Dragon says that he goes for the kiss only on the second date. That has improved his lay count. Perhaps it makes women feel less of a slut with the man?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're not unzipping your pants the moment you make eye contact you're doing it wrong.

[–]1GreenPiller 103 points104 points  (9 children)

You don't know what true oneitis is, Jon Snow

[–]pineappleeverything 1 points1 points [recovered]

Jon Snow fucked Danaerys and dodged the red woman.

I'd say he's got a good head on his shoulders and on his dick.

[–]Galactic-Unicorn 69 points70 points  (3 children)

Oh man, I'd be in Emilia Clarke so hard the first man to pull me out would be crowned the King of England.

[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Okay, this definitely deserves an upvote for the mental image alone.

[–]shneakypete 1 points1 points [recovered]

I'll take the red woman. Great tits.

[–]LazyMagus 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Only as long as she has her necklace on.

[–]Jigsus 7 points8 points  (0 children)

In an age of no condoms he's doing ok

[–]segagaga 57 points58 points  (3 children)

Someone you have been out with a couple times isn't a oneitis ffs. Definitely if its someone you've only tried to kiss a week ago!

[–]hugaddiction 21 points22 points  (0 children)

In op’s defense, he might just mean he was super into this chick, and would have stopped spinning plates for her/ let him self get sniped.

[–]1TimmyTurnersNuts 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Yeah physical escalation on the first date. Life is too short and time is too valuable to be wasting on some girl you COULD fuck.

[–]antedaeguemon 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Did you pay for the first date? If so you were just another meal ticket and she was setting you up for fancier places.

Bitches gotta eat.

[–]dontbedenied 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Nope, never paid for anything.

[–]TunedtoPerfection 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Women are very good about hiding their fucked up headcase emotions. Granted if she dodged a kiss from you she isn't obessing over you as she wasn't attracted to you. But trust me, even with the other guys blowing up her phone while on a date with another guy, a recently alpha widowed women is obsessing in her head about the alpha that just dropped her.

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 23 points24 points  (2 children)

obsessing over you

If she is obsessing over you, she will find a way to make contact. A good clue that you are supposed to be a supplicant is if she keeps annoying you over messages or other technical means, instead of working to get together in person. Volume of her words mean absolutely nothing, particularly because her verbal ejaculate is mostly meant to make her feel better and has nothing to do with you. Guys get all stupid because a chick will talk endless to him over technical means and then they are mystified when she isn't DAF when they get together.

[–]zsmoore 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Charlie? When did you become so literate. And why are you lying about going on dates with the "waitress"? Dude go back to the bar, there's rats that need killing.

[–]Jyontaitaa 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Nice little report. Not the usual trp mgtow porn fantasy BS that gets served here.

Stick to the side bar and your guns.

[–]Ezaar 17 points18 points  (10 children)

Is chad short term strategy?

[–]dontbedenied 1 points1 points [recovered]

I want to become the best version of myself, and part of that is becoming as sexually attractive as I can be, or becoming "Chad" to as many women as possible.

The way I see it, you can always be a Chad to some woman. I know my date last night wanted to fuck me as soon as she sat down next me. From her perspective, my SMV was higher than hers.

That wasn't the case with the waitress. For whatever reason, she didn't think I was worth kissing, let alone fucking. I didn't turn her on. I'm not a "Chad" to her, but some other guy is.

[–]Ethifury 2 points3 points  (3 children)

How can you tell if a girl wants to fuck you on the first date (2nd date) or initial get together?

[–]dontbedenied 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I've had many one night stands, although only a few in the traditional "date" setting after the first or second date. Honestly in my experience, it's not some secret art to understanding that a girl is into you. For me it's acknowledgments, subtle or not, from her that you have a higher SMV than her. Compliments, asking about what type of women you prefer, or even outright discussion about sex.

Sometimes you can just tell. I know that's shitty, vague advice but you can often tell when a girl likes you "more than a friend". She'll do a lot of the work for you. It's just up to you to not blow it.

Sometimes you just don't know, that's what's happened to me on some recent dates. I couldn't tell if the girl was really into me or not, I just went for the kiss and it backfired. But the way I see it, if you want to fuck her, it doesn't matter if she's giving you signs or not. Go for the kiss and see what happens.

[–]Friendly_Friends 1 point2 points  (1 child)

There isn't really much advice anyone can give for this. I think for me it becomes apparent in the first 5-10 minutes of talking. I approached a 21yo HB 8 on Monday, and turned out later I came at the right time because she had just gotten a text from her ex asking her to give him another chance, which she was about to do. I, of course, didn't know that, but just complimented her out of the blue and she asked me to sit and talk a bit. We talked, moved to another spot, and talked some more right next to each other where I could dig my knee into her bare leg. We grabbed some lunch somewhere, I told her I play guitar, and she asked me to take her over to show her. She made me pinkie promise we wouldn't do anything, and when we got to my place I took her virginity.

I would personally say it takes a combination of your own escalation and general circumstance. Like people say about getting rich, a lot of hard work and a little luck.

[–]dontbedenied 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally agree. Experience obviously goes a long way too.

[–]Ezaar 7 points8 points  (2 children)

So chad is a variable in terms of the individual woman.

I see how understanding yourself and recognizing who sees you as chad, is more efficient than chasing the dragon.

This seems to help identify the one who is attracted to you and possibly who you are attracted to as well. This also helps me see how smashing and relationships occur at varying levels of difficulty.

Could you use this consideration to understand the caliber of woman you’re dealing with?

[–]ShotgunTRP 9 points10 points  (1 child)

What's more important is how you frame yourself.

Your average 250lb guy is not gonna carry themself like action Bronson or notorious big.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Haha true. If a chick curves you, isn't receptive to going out again, or whatever negative behavior in regards to your advances, she is NOT thinking about you when you don't text for a couple days. It's always good to keep this in mind.

[–]Nattraks 23 points24 points  (1 child)

I just walk out on people like that. Fuck em. Dodge my kiss, I dodge on out LOL

[–]smirk_addict 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Dude, tell me you have a story.

[–]2littleblacktruck 12 points13 points  (12 children)

You think two dates = Oneitis?

[–]xgozax 30 points31 points  (11 children)

I think he felt too infatuated after two dates which he felt turning into oneitis.

[–]segagaga 1 point2 points  (9 children)

OP doesn't truly know the meaning of the word imo.

[–]1htbf 12 points13 points  (6 children)

I had a mild fixation over a girl after two dates. But it's not OIS. Oneitis is a cancer for the brain that last for months.

[–]segagaga 31 points32 points  (5 children)

For unaware men, it can be years.

[–]rubenescaray 24 points25 points  (3 children)

7 years in my case, not even a fucking kiss.... It was horrible.

Right now I'm in the right track

[–]MilkMoney111 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Jesus dude, I feel for you. Glad you're here.

[–]rubenescaray 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks bro, I'm feeling amazing right now!

[–]MyDickFellOff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am aware. Took me months to get my mind out of the gutter after the relationship failed. It's been 11 months now and I am finally starting to feel better and get back on track.

Body is back in shape. I get laid again with different and multiple woman. My career iskinda shit right now, but at least I am making moves to further my career.

But she is still in the back of my mind. Always. Shit's fucked up.

[–]dontbedenied 1 points1 points [recovered]

I don't see the point in arguing over semantics. It's a girl who I was more emotionally invested in than she was to me. Call it what you want.

[–]segagaga -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Described like that, its fine, I have no issue with that. Recognising that aspect of yourself is important.

[–]aliruismaximus 7 points8 points  (4 children)

I'm interested in why you knew her rejecting the first kiss means she doesn't want you? What if she didn't get comfortable enough with you, or didnt know you well enough. Not every girl fucks on the second date. I feel the same way as you sometimes, other times I figure she doesnt even know me, I dont blame her.

[–]dontbedenied 1 points1 points [recovered]

Yeah, I sort of wondered this as well. And contrary to some of the advice I see here, I don't think going for a kiss on the first date is a rule you should always follow. I've waited 3 dates to kiss a girl and the buildup to the kiss (and sex) made everything that followed so much better. With some girls it's pretty obvious that you can make your move and get laid on the first date, but yeah, some other girls seem like they're not ready yet, or the window just isn't there.

I thought this girl wasn't comfortable enough on the first date, she seemed a little shy and maybe even "traditional". But I didn't want to wait around for the third date to make my move. Despite plenty of positive signs, I just don't think she was into me. In retrospect and thinking about some of the stuff she said, I think she's a girl that acts shy and innocent but is a closet party girl who will drop her panties for the right guy.

[–]aliruismaximus 0 points1 point  (2 children)

You think of you kept going, you coulda got her?

[–]dontbedenied 19 points20 points  (1 child)

I guess that's the point of this post. I don't care if I could have got her or not. I don't want to put in the effort for a girl who's not going to put in an effort for me. She dodged the kiss and I didn't see or hear from her again until I saw her with that other guy. It's definitely not worth it if I'm building up this unrealistic image of her in my head when she's out with other guys at the same moment.

[–]aliruismaximus 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Lmao yeah youre 100% actually

[–]zamarronelchingon 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I’m glad it turned out the way it did for you but this sucks to realize.

[–]dontbedenied 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, one of those things that hurts your ego for a little while but ultimately a good learning experience.

[–]GreasedLightning 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ahh, the pull-back. Telltale sign of a woman who's in the process of nexting you.

[–]1Sir_Distic 2 points3 points  (2 children)

When your ego took that hit, did it show on the outside? Which is what counts. My guess is not because the girl you were with fucked you. Also having attractive ex-plates is social validation which helps too.

[–]dontbedenied 3 points4 points  (1 child)

It did take a hit for a moment. Later the waitress and her guy sat down at a table next to us. I told my date that I had gone out with this waitress a couple of times. Obviously I didn't go into the details about how she dodged my kiss. This turned my date on because she could see how attractive this waitress was, and she was still talking about her when we were back at my apartment. Worked out pretty well.

[–]IkWhatUDidLastSummer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If she refuses to kiss you on 2nd date its because she havent shittested you enough to see if youre a worthy partner, so you did the right thing by giving it up at that point. You think if Chris Pine leaned in for the kiss she would dodge it on a second date... She would be sucking his dick 25 mins into the first date.

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Good stuff. Did the waitress see your hot new date? If so, there's about a 90% chance she will reach out to you now (proving to herself that she's better than your new girl is too delicious to pass up), be ready with the cocky-funny unapologetic "ya I fucked her, and I will fuck you too" attitude.

[–]dontbedenied 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yes, she did. In fact, she and her guy sat down at a table right next to us about 30 minutes later. I don't think that was a coincidence, although if she didn't want to kiss me I don't know why she would pull that shit. I took my date into the bar after that and we sat on a couch the rest of the date.

[–]CQC3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Easy, women use other women to gauge a mans smv. Following that if she sees you with a woman that SHE believes to be on par with her or greater (her subjective evaluation of your current dates smv) then she will recalibrate and possibly reengage you because of the classic FOMO (fear of missing out).

You cant make solid rules on this because MM MF and FF smv evaluations are highly subjective. A woman can and often do branch swing to worse men in your eyes, but she could believe he is better.

[–]biggerbetterjobs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lol this is a pretty dramatic post. This girl didn't even let you kiss her and you have oneitis? You're desperate brother. But hey fuck it, ya gotta start somewhere

[–]1UPZ_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP had a bad breath and didnt even know...

[–]robowalkers5 2 points3 points  (4 children)

I mean, it really is not that complicated. If she really were attracted to you and obsessed with you, she would not have dodged a kiss. It's not even really your beta subconscious, it's your ego not wanting to accept that she simply didn't kiss you because she wasn't into you. Had this happen to me I'd assume I fucked up, try to pinpoint what it was, and work on making sure it doesn't happen again.

Also, as a side note, what the fuck is with the AWALT at the end. Stop being a little bitch and just accept that you fucked up on the date and pinpoint it and improve upon it. A girl is not into you and dodges your kiss and you say AWALT like it's somehow her fault that she's not attracted to you.

Instead of just saying AWALT and having everybody agree and sucking eachother's dicks yelling AWALT how about you point out your mistakes instead of assigning accountability to the woman like it is her job to create her attraction to you. That way this post would actually be productive.

[–]dontbedenied 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Nah dude, I didn't say or imply anywhere that it's "somehow her fault that she's not attracted to me" or "assign accountability to the woman like it is her job to create her attraction to you". Those thoughts never crossed my mind.

She just wasn't into me for whatever reason. She showed signs that she was, but pulled back at the end. Maybe I came off as too desperate, certainly she wasn't sexually attracted to me enough. I'll keep reading and hitting the gym and going out with women to improve. It's all on me.

AWALT in the sense that no attractive woman is this shy, nervous, timid snowflake dying for someone to come along and sweep them off their feet. This girl presented herself as something like this but the reality is that beautiful women ALWAYS have a million options, and I found out firsthand.

[–]robowalkers5 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'm just gonna take a shot in the dark to try to guess what happened because I'm just that nice of a guy since you are clearly making no effort to analyze the situation. Super hot/down to earth/lots of interests in common got your hopes super high. This started to cause you to emotionally invest in this girl even before going out with her. Ideally, in the early stages, you want her thinking, "what is up with this guy, is he even into me?" You want to set yourself apart from all the guys who are oh so happy to see her and talk with her and grace her presence. She sees it everyday being an attractive woman. Although, the fact that you already emotionally invested in her in whatever fantasy you created about her in your head showed in your body language/voice/overall demeanor.

Your demeanor going into the date was all wrong most likely. It was probably "She seems different" "This could maybe turn into something special" "We might fuck in a chariot off into the sunset at the end of this date". No. Stop emotionally investing. Your demeanor going into the date should simply be "I'm just going to try to have a good time and see where it goes".

No man, don't keep reading and hitting the gym and going out with women to improve. At least not after you use that useful part of your brain called the hippocampus and recall your entire interaction with this girl to see where you went wrong and correct those mistakes before they happen again.

Still I don't see how AWALT really applies here. Even if she was this "shy, nervous, timid snowflake waiting to be swept off her feet" if you were able to spark her sexual attraction during the date, she would not have dodged the kiss. You're simply projecting this image on to her without actually taking a hard look at her responses to your escalation. She dodged the kiss right? Right there is tangible evidence that she wasn't crazy about you after the date.

Making an effort to empathize with you here, women and especially hot women will fuck with men. Maybe she was just wasting your time. Who the fuck knows. We don't know the entire details of the interaction. Only you two do. No though, no woman at all is waiting for a man to sweep them off their feet. Women biologically want to chase a higher value man. You chasing her automatically puts you below her in SMV.

So, stop emotionally investing so you don't end up hurting yourself emotionally. If you thought "oh well her loss" after you ghosted her instead of continuing to emotionally invest, it probably wouldn't have hurt as much after you saw her with the new guy and this image that you created in your mind completely shattered to bits.

Frame control is also important. Who is reacting to who? If you are more emotionally invested than she is. You were probably the one reacting to her, if you are worried about impressing her, you are operating in her frame. She should be worried about impressing you. This is what will make her crazy about you. Not this rom-com sweeping a woman off her feet type of stuff.

[–]llmercll 0 points1 point  (1 child)

was the waitress hotter than the girl you fucked?

[–]dontbedenied 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, which I'm sure is a reason why I wasn't so nervous with my date. I mean my date wasn't hideous, probably a 6/10 while the waitress is a solid 8/10.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just when you think your oneitis might be holding out for you, you see her thot posts on Snap and immediately choke on that red pill!

[–]Mapispema-ta 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy shet you alpha as fuck.

[–]ProbablyJustBS -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Right away this post is bullcrap. Out on another date with "oneitis". Doesn't work that way.

I call bs from start to finish.