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Today I asked a woman to stop looking at me and was accused of sexual harassment (self.)

submitted by ShrimShrim

So I'm in the library studying for one of the hardest classes I've ever taken in my life, and I can just feel these eyes on me. I turn around and there is a girl fixated on me, waiting for me to say something. I ignore her for about 20 minuets but can't take it anymore.

Me: Not to be rude, but I can't focus right now because I can feel you starring at me.

Her: (visibly shocked) Excuse me?

Me: I'm trying to focus on this work right now and I can't because I can see you're watching me.

Her: That sounds like a personal problem.

Me: Well, its not. I'm just asking you to divert your attention.

Her: I'm not hitting on you, I'm just watching you.

Me: I didn't say you were hitting on me. I asked you to stop.

Her: Are you nervous?

Me: Wut?

Her: Does my starring at you make you nervous?

Me: No. You don't make me nervous. You're being creepy and I'm asking you to leave me to my work.

She is quiet for about ten more minutes, scheming a way to turn this into something she can use.

She gets up from her study table and walks over to mine.

Her: I'll just have you know, that accusing me of being creepy is actually creepy. You didn't need to make this sexual. I'm not interested in you, and you don't seem to realize that. I don't tolerate sexual harassment.

And then she walks away


[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 521 points522 points  (34 children)

It's tempting to say "you should have recorded it", but sadly noone would care and nothing would happen as a result.

It would be spun into you being the problem anyway. "So you walked over to this girl, unsolicited, and then asked her to change her behaviour?"

For future reference OP, your approach was too reasonable, which women interpret as weakness. You might try instead "Stop staring at me" rather than declaring yourself "not rude" to start with. And don't give reasons why ("I can't work because"). Avoid logic, avoid calls for reasonable behaviour, instead tell her what to do or what not to do.

[–]ShrimShrim 1 points1 points [recovered]

Definitely said too much. I'm incredibly stressed out and staying stoic takes practice I don't have.

[–]shaggyctes88 105 points106 points  (0 children)

developing stoic values and Laconic responses is hard as fuck anyway dude, keep working on it, we all need it

[–]TheYekke 37 points38 points  (14 children)

Looking up, deadpan, lock eyes then radiate I HATE YOU

Worked for me in India, where thousands of locals of all sexes and ages will stare at you from 2 feet away.

[–]tomy29 1 points1 points [recovered]

Sounds like a sweet way to get your ass kicked in a foreign country.

[–]blaqsaqattaq 19 points20 points  (11 children)

India is the last place I'd expect locals to be able to kick my ass

[–]PillDragon 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yup thats India. But the mob mentality is crazy here. Can go from worship to outright group assault in a blink.

[–]kkultimate 1 points1 points [recovered]

Then you are either in the posh areas or havent actually seen our lynch mobs .

[–]blaqsaqattaq 11 points12 points  (8 children)

That's why they always need to mob together cause they're weak af solo

[–]tomy29 1 points1 points [recovered]

End of the day you will still get your ass kicked or worse.

[–]destraht 2 points3 points  (1 child)

My Sikh friend told me to never fuck with the very skinny guys that ride around on their bikes for a living. He said that they don't eat enough food so they aren't big but they are strong as hell. This is also coming from a guy who is 6'5".

[–]TheYekke 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I did this in Madurai inside the menaakshi Amman temple, in Agra in and around the Taj Mahal. I’m 6’2”, 250 lbs and have a deathstare. No one fucked with me in .in

[–]TheYekke -1 points0 points  (2 children)

And I speak enough Madras Bashai to make sure there will be a ‘rupture’ speed-aa po, bulb light adichaan-aa?

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

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    [–]sanskritam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It's something we learn growing up👍

    [–]fromthecrypt8 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    So could you examplify how would be the best way to handle this from a stoic perspective?

    Perhaps rewrite the convo to how it ideally would be handled?

    Although I think you handled it well, her spinning at the end shows if anything that she indeed was interested in you, but got wounded when you shot her down. This is the kind of girl that would yell rape after regrettable sex

    [–]Rian_Stone 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    and stop DEERing

    [–]Glennus626 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    So, it WAS a personal problem.

    [–]1htbf 31 points32 points  (2 children)

    At that point, it's easier to just go, grab her number and tell her you'll car her when you're free. Pretty sure she'd stop staring at you then.

    [–]Hltchens 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    Then enter her number into a bunch of free cruise giveaway calling lines.

    [–]Bear-With-Bit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    instead tell her what to do

    If OP did that, she might have splooshed and skidded off her chair.

    [–]Future_Alpha 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    your approach was too reasonable

    tfw being reasonable = being weak

    [–]aanarchist 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    i've been noticing more and more that being civil and reasonable with many women simply doesn't work. just yesterday i had a girl blow me off pretty much because i didn't immediately start slapping her around after she showed some interest. your average woman is so imbalanced that if you aren't full on dark triad psychopath she'll try to put you squarely in the beta category. even amused mastery doesn't matter you have to chad her or gtfo.

    [–]Future_Alpha 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    that is fucked up. seriously.

    [–]aanarchist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    ultimately it's the fault of beta males for making it possible for them to behave this way without consequence. she's going to find some idiot to pay her way, give her a steady stream of validation and resources in exchange for letting him lap up some thugs cum from her pussy every now and then.

    [–]syf3r -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    /u/mattyanon thanks for this bit of advice. it's applicable to my current situation. I've been lifting and have caught the attention of 4 girls. anyway I set up logistics to meet with each of them. and I try to apply what I learned here in text messages. of course it feels a little unnatural for me. but what you said is like a eureka moment for me. this is the mindset needed to go from faking it to embodying it.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

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      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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        [–]TryhardPantiesON 209 points210 points  (11 children)

        Her: I'll just have you know, that accusing me of being creepy is actually creepy. You didn't need to make this sexual. I'm not interested in you, and you don't seem to realize that. I don't tolerate sexual harassment.

        Funniest shit i have read today.

        [–][deleted] 140 points141 points  (9 children)

        Masterful reframing... We should actually learn from this.

        [–][deleted] 131 points132 points  (6 children)

        Yeah but it took her 10 minutes.

        [–]menial_optimist 251 points252 points  (5 children)

        Her hamster had to be rebooted in safe mode

        [–]zayelion 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        I have to agree with all the above.

        [–]WolfofAnarchy 32 points33 points  (1 child)

        Fucking lmao, how do you come up with this stuff.

        [–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        hah. One of the better lines I've read here in a while.

        [–]Bear-With-Bit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I bet you fuck in hamster mode.

        [–]MuhTriggersGuise 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        "Masterful"? I think I first heard this from Pee-Wee Herman. "I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I?"

        [–]a_aniq 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        1st step: Throw logic out of the window

        [–]1PantsonFire1234 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        She admitted she was staring at him. At that point she lost all ground. OP did make a mistake though, you don't actually bring this to someones attention. Even women don't do this when some cuck is undressing them with their eyes.

        In this world you will be stuck with many uglies eyeing you if you have good SMV. Perhaps even some gay men if you have a bad day. The only thing you can do is to simply walk away from their environment. The moment they keep following you you can accuse them of stalking.

        But until that moment, simply looking at your direction isn't a crime and you can't raise that argument.

        [–]Starcruiser28 312 points313 points  (18 children)

        she had the hots for you and you shot her down, pre-emptive strike, she couldn't handle the rejection, typical female, especially if she was somewhat good looking, she couldn't understand the rejection.

        [–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 43 points44 points  (4 children)

        Lol, he called her 'creepy'. Women believe that word is for men exclusively. He gave her an unattractive male shaming term, ruining her perceived image to the max. As soon as I read that I chuckled because I knew it would piss her off.

        [–]1DetectiveDing-Daaahh 13 points14 points  (2 children)

        That's why I avoid female-gendered nsults if it ever comes down to it. "Then stop acting like an asshole/dickhead/prick!" always seems to scramble their thought process for at least a couple of seconds. Plus the usual "Bitch, cunt, etc." screams incel.

        [–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Never thought of that. Gonna try it out. I smirk with anticipation.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Great point. That's some good advice right there.

        [–]kireol 105 points106 points  (4 children)

        This.

        With a helping of "I'm not responsible for my own actions, so I need to create why this is his fault."

        [–]sh0ckley 34 points35 points  (1 child)

        "I'm not responsible for my own actions, so I need to create why this is his fault."

        The next time someone asks what does AWALT mean? THIS.

        [–]trees_away 14 points15 points  (0 children)

        It’s hard not to get frustrated by this, but at the same time AWALT so it’s like getting frustrated at the ocean for knocking down your sand castle: You knew the waves were coming yet you built it there anyways.

        I had to block an ex last night for this very thing. It’s just sad.

        [–]Mars_Darinder 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        Damn bro, that is a legit observation. So true.

        [–]Future_Alpha 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"

        [–]1PantsonFire1234 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        When women feel or fear a rejection coming, their first instinct is to reject you themselves.

        [–][deleted]  (5 children)

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          [–]maplemaximus 7 points8 points  (3 children)

          He's not obligated to make her feel comfortable. She's staring mate, that's not how you handle approach.

          Someone with no comprehension of proper game would find OP's reaction upsetting because their "game" is just staring.

          [–][deleted]  (2 children)

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            [–]CQC3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            I agree it was overkill and its really not a big deal to ignore someone, he took a risky action.

            I greatly feel like if I wanted her to stop I should just do something retarded as fuck that would surely make her think less of me or at least dry the attraction up. So I'd just probably look at her and make a retarded face squinting my eyes and making beaver teeth kinda like that racist chinese stereotype of a character in old cartoons.

            But fuck me it'd make her more interested knowing how shit works backwards. Anything you do to make a girl like you less ends up making her more attracted.

            [–]Sick_dick_4evr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            A more direct approach of confronting the issue head on is completely reasonable. If the gender roles were reversed in this exact situation, I think you wouldn't have an issue with a girl handling it the way OP did. I see your Seduction 101, and raise you Upbringing 101, "It's not polite to stare" is what I believe most parents teach their children. If you're going to put yourself out there like that, be prepared to get rejected. My 2 cents anyway.

            [–][deleted]  (2 children)

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              [–]ToTheMewn 11 points12 points  (1 child)

              Turn your head over to her at a very slow but constant rate, lock eyes for 3 seconds, and then turn your body in your swiveling office chair at the same rate you did with your head, but don't break eye contact, and try to keep your head as still as possible for maximum effect. Then you say, "Hi there!"

              [–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 146 points147 points  (11 children)

              Nobody takes sexual rejection well, but women absolutely hate it.

              This is because evolutionary their entire value to the species is their value as a sexual mate. Where men's SMV is due in part to what they do, which can be used to compensate for a lack of sexual attractiveness, women cannot afford to be seen as sexually unattractive. Their entire status depends on it.

              That's why everything women do is about affirming their sexual attractiveness to men. And that is why they absolutely hate sexual rejection.

              That's why the hamster in OP's example went into overdrive to reframe the situation as "him hitting on her".

              And that's why you want to be extremely careful when you reject a woman, since doing so is such a massive issue for her. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" is an expression dating from the 17th century. This is a timeless truth. Be careful how you frame your rejections.

              [–]Rob_Dead 15 points16 points  (0 children)

              A missquote but true nonetheless.

              "Heaven hath no anger like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned".

              [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (1 child)

              Women don't take any kind of rejection well but I wonder if it does all boil down to sexual rejection. Women are known to suffer more from impostor syndrome and it's little wonder why. So many women in higher positions are not actually good, they just got men to do their work for them. They survive on giggling their way through every situation. But they kind of know this. So every rejection they get they think it's because they're not attractive enough.

              [–]throwaway89429093 6 points7 points  (0 children)

              100% fact here. Worked with a girl on a project at college thinking 'her resume looks great, this should go smoothly' NOPE. She was always trying to flirt or make excuses so that I'd never notice that she did nothing..I ended up doing all of it and getting her kicked off but she still got her 3 internships at the biggest companies in our field...wtf?

              [–]yxngdrilla19 -1 points0 points  (7 children)

              I completely agree with this. 2 years ago, when I was new to a school, an incredibly fat girl said that she liked me. I rejected her brutally lol (maybe because I was offended that she even thought she could have a chance with me.) Then she started crying and all her friends started hating on me. "Why'd you make her cry!" It made me look like a a massive dick but oh well. If she had rejected me theres no way I'd have fucking cried. You just move on as attraction in non negotiable. I don't regret what I said. Honesty is the best policy.

              EDIT: Before I was a really direct and blunt person. I didn't understand that what I said could have been devestating. I've learnt to be more sensitive to people's feelings and not be so abrasive.

              [–]Future_Alpha 5 points6 points  (1 child)

              I've rejected fat girls before too. You want to reject them in such a way that it does not affect your repuitation. Either do it very nicely and say that you are really busy with school, but in other circumstances you'd totally be down (I've literally said, 'its not you, its me') or you start acting beta as fuck and undecisive so she rejects you. win-win

              [–]yxngdrilla19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Note taken bro. I need to be less direct sometimes.

              [–][deleted]  (4 children)

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                [–]yxngdrilla19 1 point2 points  (3 children)

                As I said this was 2 years ago. I've become more emotionally intelligent human and looking back it wasn't the best course of action. I'm young and I still have a lot to learn.

                [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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                  [–]Lateralanouncer 32 points33 points  (2 children)

                  She stoped for ten minutes and thought about how she was the victim. Now her friends can help her through the hardship.

                  [–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 23 points24 points  (1 child)

                  Ten years from now she'll tell it as the time she was "almost raped."

                  [–]Future_Alpha 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                  Duuudddee, you don't know how true that statement is.

                  There's shit flying around my uni right now, because some stupid bitch claimed she was 'sexually assaulted' (no details of course) by the guy running for vice-president in student council. I highly doubt he sexually assualted her, as it is a decently attractive dude (not a chad, but he dresses well and has good grooming) who probably doesn't lack in female attention.

                  To me it seemed like she was:

                  1. looking for attention/sympathy
                  2. deluded herself into believing she was 'sexually assualted' (that term can mean anything you want it to mean)
                  3. maybe they met up and the dude was uncalibrated/didn't hear her say stop in the heat of the moment.

                  Now there's white knights 'investigating' the matter and various other cunts offering her sympathy, saying that they are 'survivors of sexual assualt' and 'have been raped multiple times' (highly doubtful, because these be rich bitches who live in rich areas and who hates her ex).

                  [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (1 child)

                  Eye rape, coming soon to a college near you (but you can only commit it if you are a man)

                  [–]1PantsonFire1234 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  The only time a woman ever accused me of looking at her (and in that instance I wasn't even looking) was this time in public transport. I life in the suburbs of my city and it's filled with mussies. This one unattractive Spongebob body shaped hijabu girls suddenly and very angrily asked me why I was looking at her.

                  I wasn't even aware of her existence. When I told her this she took offense to me not looking instead of me looking. Even oppressed Islam girls are batshit I guess. Hot girls generally never do this, probably out of fear because they hate it.

                  Still I think it's something women handle pretty well compared to what OP did.

                  [–]slumdog-millionaire 81 points82 points  (6 children)

                  what a fucking bitch, I feel like you said too much though dude, If you weren't interested I would've just said hey can you stop staring at me please? thanks. no need to explain shit to her

                  I had a girl eye fuck me like this once when I walked into a lab at the start of a semester in college, I flirted and got her number later and called her and she replied to my advance by saying please stop.

                  If you don't want to get hit on don't fucking stare at people cunt

                  [–]ii_misfit_o 35 points36 points  (0 children)

                  Especially don't give them your fucking number lol

                  [–]fromthecrypt8 19 points20 points  (1 child)

                  She probably just wanted the attention without offering her vag. There're plenty of attentionwhores out there unfortunately.

                  [–]wrong_assumption 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  What if OP looks like a clown/is a midget?

                  [–]OneInAZillion 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  no need to explain shit to her

                  This is true as a generality, but once he asks her to stop staring at her, she'll inevitably escalate the situation into an actual conversation/argument. And now he's boxed himself into somewhat of a confrontation in public with a woman which is never good for a man since men are always the aggressors and I hope that poor young lady isn't too shaken up by how that rapist assaulted her!

                  LPT: Don't get into a confrontation with a woman in public. Everyone will always be on her side and you'll just look like the asshole, regardless of the context.

                  [–]Dragon_Garoo 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                  This is a thing; I was thinking about it during the OP. Some women enjoy rejecting men so much, that they elicit attraction and approach, just to shoot them down. I'm sure there's a pscyhological term for it. I've seen my ex do it, then fuck the guys later. It's like, you add them to your plan b roster, but boost your ego in the here and now. And guys being guys, will likely fuck anyways. lol.

                  [–]I_Need_More_Space_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  Holy fuck! I never could imagine such behavior. Wow. I'm genuinely surprised.

                  [–]MizterUltimaman 38 points39 points  (0 children)

                  That's how crazy girls flirt. Next time, either give a soft reject, or make a move on her.

                  [–]Tall_Irish_Guy 21 points22 points  (0 children)

                  Shouldn't have said anything drama queen.

                  [–]AlphaGrad 23 points24 points  (3 children)

                  Dumb, dumb, dumb approach to solve this. Women never respond to overt communication unless you're famous and/or visibly rich.

                  [–]1PantsonFire1234 1 point2 points  (2 children)

                  Even then, have you ever met a girl who talked real talk, like ever? They can't resist using power talk because shit testing is at the core of their interaction with men. And even other women.

                  [–]AlphaGrad 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                  Even then, have you ever met a girl who talked real talk, like ever?

                  Yeah, when there's some serious danger, or an emergency situation, every female sets aside the bullshit and accepts her inferiority...even verbalizing it.

                  [–]1PantsonFire1234 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Good point. The funny part is most guys think they are using real talk all the time.

                  [–]chambertlo 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                  I bet she was fat, wasn’t she?

                  [–]WorldsOkayistGuy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                  women hate the word creepy

                  [–][deleted] 58 points59 points  (22 children)

                  Next time find another place to be in the library or do a better job of focusing on your work.

                  Women are no physical threat to you, if she was staring its easy to ignore. No need to confront her which will get Law Enforcement involved. A dude staring at you that's a legit threat.

                  [–]rooolng 36 points37 points  (10 children)

                  No, it's best to start throwing the double standard in their faces. Not calling out this shit is how we got here in the first place.

                  [–]lord-denning 25 points26 points  (8 children)

                  Incorrect. The failure of our fathers / role models to teach us how to deal with women is what got us here in the first place. We must relearn this, not treat women like men.

                  [–]WorldsOkayistGuy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                  they think they want to be treated like men, sometimes it's good to remind them why they shouldn't

                  [–]antariusz 12 points13 points  (6 children)

                  If I need directions to a restaurant. I don't ask my father. If I want to look up the invoice price of a car I don't ask my father. If I need to find a coupon code for something I'm going to buy. Like an airline ticket, I don't ask my father.

                  The only thing fathers need to teach their sons is HOW to find the information that is already out there. Give a man a fish and he eats one fish. Teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime.

                  [–]Throwawayhelper420 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                  So basically the only job of a father, by your statements, is to say, “here son, have a smartphone.”?

                  [–]antariusz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  And yet I simultaneously believe that being raised by a single mother is even worse. Because as an impressionable child you'll most likely be told information which is patently, provably incorrect, and it might take a long time to undo. I had a dad (divorced parents) but I was told that all these awful things that my dad did that made me hate him and reject many of the masculine things that defined him. Such as dedication to a task and hard work.

                  All the information in the world is worthless if you don't have the primer with which to understand the words written. And men are best capable of giving other men that primer on how to understand the information which is already out there (if a man chooses to acknowledge it).

                  Think about people who post on blue pill forums. They have the same access to information that could benefit their own lives and the lives of men around them, but they reject the information.

                  I knew athletic kids were more popular as a child, but I wasn't able to objectively make the determination that "I" would be happier and more popular if I was athletic and worked out... until much later in life. Even when I was in the Air Force, I only "tolerated" PT because it was just a "required" aspect of life. Well that's a father's role, to make certain things required by the child so they are set up for success until they've gathered enough information to continue their own success.

                  [–]lord-denning 1 point2 points  (3 children)

                  I do not mind the distinction you are making. All I am saying is that we need this to come from our fathers or other masculine role models and on that you and I agree.

                  [–]antariusz -1 points0 points  (2 children)

                  That I can definitely agree on.

                  Hell, I actually told my father about this forum, because even though he's stuck in the blue pill mindset, he has some natural alpha tendencies. So If he wanted to learn, he could.

                  It should have been the other way around.

                  [–]Dragon_Garoo 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                  I tell my boys about this place, the lessons, constantly trying to get them to see they need to do, to achieve, to earn, to do something for themselves and enjoy it. Not to get caught up in the feminist dogma and drama that they're hearing from their mother. It's hard, since they live with her. But fuck I wish my father had taught me these things. Stumbled my way along into most of them on my own, in that BP haze of 'something's not right' but not being able to put my finger on it for years. Women decry the "MRA's" and the "RedPill Ideology" (literally had someone call it that to me) but the guys they want? Aggressive, Masculine, DGAF achievers. Every. Single. Time.

                  [–]antariusz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  Women shit test, even their own family.

                  My girlfriend has a young brother, he got in trouble at school for teasing a girl. She (and her sister and their mom) all piled up on him and told him he MUST respect women and never call them names or tease them. I responded, when she told me this story, by teasing her with several straight minutes of holding her down and tickling, pinching, and calling her every bad name I could think of, later that night she was literally tearing my shorts off me trying to suck my dick while I tried to sleep.

                  They literally can't help a man, even their own family and unintentionally will try to make him fail. Men can choose which other men can succeed in life by freeing them from that shackle. Obviously we want our own families to succeed. But that's the choice we have as men. As a species. Who do we want to succeed. (And my belief in that extends further out to culture and society, some men actually believe western civilization is bad and should be replaced, I refuse to accept that)

                  [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  Calling them out for this double standard will change nothing. Women will always be protected, just the way humans are wired. Confronting her for "mad dogging" or for perceived double standards you will be treated as the threat. Just is and will not change, even cops have daughters.

                  Unless she is armed or martial arts (MMA) expert she is no threat to you. If she is staring you down a simple confident "was up" all you need to say. The gauge her reaction, then go back to what you are doing.

                  If she is verbally or physically assaulting you block the strikes and try to leave. Your choice on calling the police. Do not strike back unless she is armed or really knows what she's doing in a fight or you tried to leave and got cornered. Remember regardless of the circumstances you will be arrested, expelled from school, possibly face jail time and this will cost a lot of money. Do not talk to the police with out an attorney, get an attorney, hire an investigator to conduct your own investigation for witnesses, CCTV footage etc... You may escape jail but you will lose your job or be expelled from school and be out tens of thousands of dollars.

                  If she assaulted you first PRESS charges. MAD Mutually Assured Destruction. You will still have to deal with the above but you can ruin her career prospects as well and make it cost her a shit ton of money. If the police do nothing sue them.

                  [–][deleted]  (10 children)

                  [deleted]

                    [–]Rollo_Mayhem3 16 points17 points  (7 children)

                    This is the problem, you made it seem like she was distracting you fine, but you opened the Pandora box because ypu wanted to practice.. don't play around in serious situations like studying for a serious exam. Your best move was to literally just get up and move away or playfully engage her...you decided to set limits with her...she turned the tables. Move on.

                    [–]Yam884 2 points3 points  (6 children)

                    I doubt this even happened to OP. Probably just a fantasy situation in his head that he wanted to reenact for us.

                    [–]NibblyPig 0 points1 point  (5 children)

                    Lol if you see what op looks like it is believable

                    [–]Future_Alpha 0 points1 point  (3 children)

                    you know what op looks like?

                    [–]NibblyPig 0 points1 point  (2 children)

                    He posted a pic further down

                    [–]Future_Alpha 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                    pic further down where? I'm not seeing it

                    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                    My friends always say "science" before doing something "stupid" just to see what you can get away with.

                    Keep living life. Experiment.

                    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                    You don't play with explosives (they are a lot of fun though).

                    Crazy chicks are like old dynamite.

                    [–]1Sir_Distic 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                    You lost frame. Simple as that.

                    Your best option. Turn around and smile at her. Turn back around and do your work. Forget about her. Simple as that.

                    You wanted to feel morally superior to her. Instead she's going to tell other women what a creepy jerk you are. Always protect your reputation.

                    After you're done you could have went up to her and asked for her number. Or simply walked away. But you had to make an issue out of nothing.

                    [–]Matacks607 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                    Did that female make you upset? Haha

                    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                    [deleted]

                      [–]zayelion 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                      I dont feel like you handled that correctly at multiple points...

                      [–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                      Her: That sounds like a personal problem.

                      It does sound like a personal problem.

                      Why do you care if a woman is looking at you? Get her number and get back to work.

                      [–]Fistlegs 25 points26 points  (1 child)

                      Why the fuck do you give a shit if a girl is staring at you? Are you scared of people you meet at the library? Jesus christ...

                      [–]wrong_assumption 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                      Agreed. OP was being a snowflake.

                      [–]albus_scirocco 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                      "I'm studying me, ogle me later."

                      [–]Cryxtalix 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                      I am not even going to refer to TRP, but why would you ever say that to begin with? I mean it's a public library, not your own personal library. It's rather expected to have weirdos around, since it's a public space.

                      For TRP standpoint it definitely makes sense. But it doesn't make sense outside of that. I doubt you have the right to go to a public space and demand people not to look at you. AFAIK lots of people at libraries have people watching hobbies.

                      [–]Zenitco 21 points22 points  (1 child)

                      OMG STOP STARING AT ME

                      jesus shut the fuck up kid

                      [–]Resangel 59 points60 points  (12 children)

                      A woman staring at you ? you couldn't concentrate cuz a girl was staring fantasizing about you ? This is what this sub has come to ?

                      I thought i was on two X chromosomes for a second.

                      Op's pathetic.

                      [–]5t3fan0 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                      harsh words but i agree, op shouldnt gave so many fucks about people staring at him... unless they look like thieves or intoxicated troublemakers.

                      Her: That sounds like a personal problem.

                      words of truth right out of the hamster mouth

                      [–][deleted]  (9 children)

                      [deleted]

                        [–]Resangel 25 points26 points  (6 children)

                        this is insignificant. Thoroughly insignificant. What message can be learned from this ? I have pussy on a pedestal ? You see any worshiping going on in my comment ? You literally just complained cuz someone in a library stared at you and something stupid. two little eyes from some nobody stopped you from advancing your career for a couple of minutes ? Pathetic And the fact that you thought this was so damn important that you posted it on a sexual strategy Sub. Cmon man Even you must see the meaninglessness of this post. Is this just a complaint sub now ? geez Man up Shrimshrim

                        [–][deleted]  (5 children)

                        [deleted]

                          [–]threwewawaway 24 points25 points  (0 children)

                          See, I don't care that a girl is staring/fantasizing about me.

                          I couldn't concentrate because a human was starring at me.

                          Can't speak for the guy you replied to, but doesn't seem like he's focused on her being a female as much as he is pointing out the fact that you clearly cared enough for it to break your attention.

                          I turn around and there is a girl fixated on me, waiting for me to say something.

                          The bitch can get out of my face

                          trying to get my attention

                          This is what I'm referring to. She wasn't in your face, she was quiet and behind you. When I worked in the library, if a male or female did that, it probably wouldn't have even gotten my attention, regardless of whether that was their intention.

                          What I don't understand is why it bothered you so much.

                          [–]Resangel 21 points22 points  (2 children)

                          Wow that's actually pretty laughable.

                          Man, woman, dog, cat.You were in a library and somebody, something was staring at you.

                          Ignore them and focus on your work.

                          Was that not obvious ?

                          Remind me, why is this post on RP ?

                          [–]DigitallyDisrupt 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                          Both of you are right.

                          However, on the subject of being stared at, my dog stares at me when I'm working and it's distracting.

                          [–]Future_Alpha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                          Or you can approach her now, get her number and then message her when you have spare time. She has interest and its easier to get interested girls then doing mass approaches.

                          [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                          Get the fuck out of here with your concern trolling.

                          [–]Verlier 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                          You just let them watch, work on your focus and be stoic. Not only for girls, in any case, ignoring everybody to be focused on your task is a fine skill to master.

                          [–]heyimjason 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                          ...why didn't you just ignore her or move? If someone asked me to stop staring at them, I'd tell them to go to hell.

                          [–]paulkersey1999 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                          you're lucky she wasn't black or you would have been accused of racism.

                          [–]StrikePrice 20 points21 points  (8 children)

                          I can't believe you you fucking pussy. "She's staring and it makes me uncomfortable." Shut the fuck up and do your fucking work. People like you make me sick.

                          [–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 19 points20 points  (4 children)

                          Great form bro, but it looks like you do not get it at all, and I mean, AT ALL.

                          [–]dingman58 20 points21 points  (2 children)

                          Thanks for helping us understand bro

                          [–]SOwED 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                          Like trying to teach someone to drive with a totalled car. Nothing to salvage here.

                          [–]Hviterev 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                          Who cares? This is how she handles rejection. She's trying to flip the script because she's been hurt. Let her cather to her feels however she sees fit

                          [–]1Zanford 3 points4 points  (2 children)

                          Great example of projection. (Assuming your transcript-from-memory is accurate), you simply said 'watching me', she was the one to brought up 'hitting on you', and 'making this sexual', which of course is what she was doing by saying that.

                          Girls will try to turn it around if they get called out on something like this. Sort of like if you reject them after a date, they will act like they rejected you.

                          [–]Dragon_Garoo 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                          So much this. Nexted a girl that had lied to me in a way that was so obvious, so onerous, that it wasn't just hamster shit, it was full on "I'm gonna see how much of an idiot you'll be if you believe me" type of lie. Long story short, she started a rant over text that definitely sucked me in a bit, and by the end she made all sorts of statements of how shitty I was in every respect, and that she was essentially breaking up with me. Just hilarious. And disturbing. Watching the wheel spin, is really hypnotizing sometimes.

                          [–]1Zanford 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                          I've seen screencaps of a bunch of text / messaging / dating app exchanges like this.....dude lets a girl down gently, she fires back with a sour grapes "You know what, I'm not interested / I'm breaking up" to protect her own ego. There are also celebrity version of this where the girl goes on a tweet rampage about what a small-dick loser the guy was (despite hundreds of during-relationship instagram or paparazzi photos where she's hanging all over the hunk).

                          The first time I ever broke up with a girl in grade school a similar thing happened: she was devastated by the immediate breakup, so the next day I thought I should be 'nice' by saying hi in the hallways etc., and she gave me the 100% cold shoulder / silent treatment. Anyone seeing that exchange without knowing the context might've thought I was some orbiter or had just been dumped. (I don't really blame her since it was her first time being dumped and at that age you are a bundle of hormones, but that same face also shows how innate the female strategy is).

                          One thing men - especially logically-minded or beta men with science and engineering inclinations - have working against them is an instinct that a conversation should follow a rational flow. They are not comfortable making, or being hit with, non-sequitors. Part of game is unlearning this nice guy reflex to actually respond in a straightforward to what the other person said. Reframing is basically the art of threading the needle between a reply and a non-sequitor to bounce the topic in a new angle. Girls have a natural instinct for reframing, b/c they are less hidebound by logical back-and-forth, and more solipsistic and fantasistic (they just perceive the world however they want to).

                          [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                          I wonder what would happen / how it would look like from society's point of view if the genders were reversed.

                          [–]BITCRUSHERRRR 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                          Sounded like she got upset at "rejection" to me

                          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                          I ignore her for about 20 minuets but can't take it anymore.

                          After the 20th minuet, I assume it was time to turn off the goddamn classical station.

                          [–]SuperFluffyPunch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                          The long silent stare. Women do this ALL THE TIME. I've never understood why. It's like they go out of their way to create an awkward situation.

                          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                          A day is only complete if you see the hamster spin.

                          [–]Formaggio_svizzero 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                          living in ameeeeeeeeeericaaaaa

                          [–]rorrr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                          She baited you, you took the bait.

                          Why would engage with a woman in such a manner at all? It's just asking to be accused of a sexual assault.

                          I wouldn't be surprised if she went and complained about it to the administration, and you're already fucked.

                          [–]1PantsonFire1234 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                          Was the chick hot? I hate it when this happens with uggos. I have a gym I'm a regular with. I have to stay in peak condition for my job in the military. I guess I stand out. Good looking girls look at you to but they are more subtle and less desperate.

                          The annoying thing is the ugly/fat/old ones who are so desperate and thirsty they go overboard. They are the female embodiment of a frustrated beta male. Like you said, you can just feel those eyes burning in your back. Every move you make they look. I think they even look for IOI's. Kid you not.

                          I've actually developed a habbit of purposefully looking the otherway every single time these women pass me in the room. Making them feel as undesirable as they are, hoping they get the hint. I guess this is how hot women feel when beta men hit on them.

                          [–]TunedtoPerfection 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                          Women call men creepy all the time, does that mean that all women are actually creepy? Yup logic isn't gonna work here.

                          the start was bad, no need to apology for walking up to a person who is staring at you while your trying to study. This set you in her frame. Then to solidify that she made you repeat your request of her, you know she heard you the first time. if not, you need to speak up, stop repeating yourself. You don't have to yell but never give anyone a reason to "not hear you." It's a sign of weakness and women use this to test you, my last ex starting doing that shit all the time.

                          Then she flipped it on you using amused mastery with the personal problem comment. Finally for the power bomb she made you for a caring asshole when you fired off the creepy comment.

                          Chick is pretty red pill actually.

                          Next time

                          You: We can talk all about your blatant desire for me in 30 minutes I'll be taking a coffee break. Here put your number in my phone and I'll message you.

                          Then for some bonus points... don't even use her number if she is still there in 30 minutes, just walk off, stop get her attention and tell her. "Let's go" then without waiting for a response walk out the library toward coffee.

                          She might follow, she might not... If she does your banging her that night. If not you got coffee and I doubt she will be there when you get back. Win/Win

                          [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                          LOL

                          You asked her to leave you alone and she accused you of sexual harassment!

                          Typical woman mindset, "The guy must be sexually harming me in this situation because it isn't possible for a woman to be creepy".

                          Also, you should know women can't handle sexual rejection. Instinctually, they feel that every male wants to deposit his semen in them. And, for the most part, it's true.

                          Men, on the other hand, deal with this kind of rejection a lot. And instincually, we are prepared for it.

                          This is how reproduction works. The man is programmed to set out to try to get as many fertile females as possible. The female, however, must decide which male is the strongest. This is natural selection.

                          I observed this first hand one morning when I opened my curtains with my morning coffee in hand and saw what I can only describe as, "a doggy orgy". It was my bitch who was in heat. The males came from far and wide. There must have been 15 of these studs in my garden. Beautiful dogs I had never seen before. They were all trying to hop on. She clearly didn't approve of some of them and chased them away. She let a few of them have a shot though. I disagreed with a couple of her choices, but hey.

                          So, you see, at the instincual level females know they are sexually desirable. The vast majority of woman go through their entire lives without EVER being rejected in this way.

                          And, by the way, for a women to meatstare you like that is huge! She probably felt like she had really put herself "out on a limb". For women, even the subtlest advance, like a quick smile and a few seconds of eye contact, feels like she just bent over and parted her cheeks for you. Then, they get all huffy puffy when we don't make move. Often, they instictually write us off as weak and sexually incompetent and they lose interest immediately. Your chances of getting her after that are next to zero cos she has instinctually written you off as unfit to reproduce with (unless, of course, you frame it like she is an inadequate vessel for your semen and you could do better, or you already have better).

                          [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

                          Why didn't you strike while the iron was hot?

                          You aren't MGTOW AND THIS IS RED PILL.

                          [–]Endorsed Contributorsadomasochrist 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                          Because he had shit to get done? Abundance? You lack it?

                          [–]SuperFluffyPunch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                          or maybe she was unattractive

                          [–]Muk1st 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                          Yo dawg, should have just said hey I’ll meet you at (insert random place here) in about an hour. Gives you time to get whatever done before she comes back looking for you.

                          [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

                          Gonna go with a high 1% chance this happened.

                          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                          [deleted]

                            [–]Look_Ma_Im_On_Reddit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                            Someone looked at me better post it on Tumblr

                            [–]TheIceReaver 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                            If you didn't want it to turn sour you could have gone:

                            "Does my staring make you nervous?"

                            (Agree and amplify)

                            "..Yeah I'm sooo nervous. Thanks."

                            Then back to work.

                            Honestly though from what you wrote what you did seems way weirder than anything she said or did man...

                            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            You should have asked her what kind of medication she is on and that is possible she missed her morning dose, that your concerned about her mental health.

                            [–]Mallago 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                            Sounds like a typical sociopathic SJW. Classic ASPD behavior, especially the "are you nervous?" line.

                            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                            Back when I was young and handsome, I had women do this type of thing or approach me in other ways. They all did the same kind of stuff that women find creepy when AFC men do it.

                            In fact, very few women have any game when it comes to approaching or getting a man to take interest since they just need to look good and wait for men to approach. But, if they aren't attractive, then nothing is going to happen.

                            [–]ResistAuthority 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                            The consequences will never be the same

                            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                            Here is the video of what happened.

                            https://youtu.be/RjFuN00yGzI

                            [–]Dragon_Garoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                            Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words.

                            [–]kellykebab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                            Did you know this person before? I've never really heard of something like this happening. I'd have to assume there's a backstory.

                            [–]Cross_De_Lena 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                            I don't want to defend her, she's stupid AF, but you could've just as easily move to another table.

                            [–]Trooper_1868 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                            if this was a table, you could have just shifted slightly, so you can't see her looking at you. Better yet, you should have given her a long glance, then smirked and sat with your back turned to her. So she knows you know. Its easier sometimes to just not confront, when it uselessly takes up your time.

                            [–]ThickDickWarrior89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                            Honestly you shouldn't even give a shit if a female is staring at you; consider it flattery or disregard it entirely.

                            [–]tuyguy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                            That's shocking.

                            You can always walk away.

                            [–]Goddamnpanda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                            I'd catch a women at work looking at me sometimes. I don't talk to her about it. I just say "quit looking at me". She's only said she wasn't once. I told her to keep it that way.

                            [–]biggerbetterjobs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                            Lol you probably made her cry into her dorm room pillow all afternoon. She'll get over it when she swills down a bottle of wine with her girlfriends.

                            [–]WillyWonka321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                            So we now need to learn how to interact with women just to keep out of going to jail.

                            [–]moontripper1246 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                            dude.....why didn't you just pick her up instead? loll like, cool good on you, you spoke your mind and held frame that's absolutely something to be celebrated, so good on you bruv. But.....you get that you just made her feel shitty for liking you right? I'm not saying you're wrong to be disturbed by her gaze, or even saying that you're wrong for acting the way you did. But given the situation there was a very fun for everyone ending that you could have brought about, especially being aware of game principles. And instead you made her feel bad for showing interest in a stranger, and she accused you of sexual harassment Loll it just occurs to me that maybe you aren't aware that game doesn't just have to be applied to getting something you want from a girl you like, you can use it to put girls down gently too.

                            [–]aanarchist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                            "accusing me of being creepy is actually creepy". lets start using that one.

                            [–]I_Need_More_Space_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                            Easily solved if you just would have looked at her and started laughing. But, laugh in a way to humiliate her for thinking she has a chance with you. Problem solved. Learn some social skills, Bro.

                            [–]redsorceror 1 points1 points [recovered]

                            laughing_mallard.gif

                            I feel for you, man. I’m a tall fella going back for my Master’s so I’ll figuratively be in your seat soon.

                            [–]StrikePrice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                            Nah. I know a thinly veiled SJW attempt to backdoor a "male gaze" nonsense argument.

                            [–]youlovethisish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                            Yeah boss, I'd say you should see if you can squeeze some meditation into your days. 20 mins in the morning or so.

                            Aside from the premise, would definitely agree with the other people here saying that you said too much. But I get it, we buckle sometimes when the pressure is monumental. Engineering school was no joke. Many a cigarette smoked those days.

                            Honestly, I think meditation will help with focusing on the task at hand. In turn, you'll be less moved by the stares, and it'll be easier to remain stoic and say less in these high pressure situations.

                            Learning experience!

                            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                            You should have raped her right on the spot and said "you accusing me of rape is raping me".

                            [–]Endorsed Contributorsadomasochrist -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                            I'm impressed at how well you logically cornered her. Even more impressed that when presented with no way to call you a creep, she flipped it on you.

                            I mean it makes no sense at all but shows how potent it is.

                            It also shows you why trying to assign agency is useless. There's no room for a rational debate.

                            Just get yours.

                            So in this case, while no one saw this punch line coming, in the future, you know the best bet is to just move.

                            This is a really good post. It shows how careful you have to navigate this.

                            This non-confrontational bullshittery grates at the male soul, but it's a necessary social tool.

                            [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                            [deleted]

                              [–]Ham_Kitten 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                              What the fuck is wrong with you?

                              [–]Compeliminator -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

                              just stare back at her and make crazy demented faces until she starts laughing and comes over to talk to you

                              [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                              [deleted]

                                [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                                [deleted]

                                  [–]menial_optimist -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

                                  What I believe you have witnessed is the rare female creeper. Women love going on about creepers all the time who try and hit on em. My friends fat wife tells me a "I got hit on by a creeper" story nearly every weekend.

                                  [–]Repulsive_Impulse -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

                                  Lol. I've met people like this so many times. I have a pretty powerful defence mechanism now. Once I realize someone is that dumb I become incapable of giving a fuck about anything they do. It's very woo-sah or whatever like... she's a dumb cunt that should have her face spat in all the time so that's like... already bad enough that she has to exist as a fuckin monkey her whole life. Cunts hate their lives and it brings me joy that they can't ever Fuck with me. I'm unfuckwithable.