Building PowerHow To Develop God Tier Eye Contact | The real reason why you can't maintain strong eye contact with a woman. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by pugnaciousvagabond

The Eye Contact Problem

I was on YouTube the other day when I stumbled across a video titled ‘Video For Practicing Eye Contact’. Surprisingly these types of video generate millions of views… These videos usually have a beautiful girl looking at the camera, your challenge being to maintain eye contact? Wtf

TLDR: Video Post

Enough bullshit, it’s time for people to really understand the truth about eye contact. Failure to hold eye contact is a deep-seated issue; it’s not a technical one. The reason people can’t maintain eye contact isn’t due to the fact that they don’t know how it’s because of the beliefs they hold that lead them to feel uncomfortable. Social Conditioning: Don’t show attraction!

Men have been emasculated by society. Many men feel ashamed of their own masculinity. They somehow feel that showing interest in a woman is wrong or taboo. They will go to great lengths to avoid eye contact with women. I partly blame these new age Feminazis for fucking up the biological male and female sexual chemistry (nothing against proper feminists).

The Deeper Issue

More often than not, a failure to hold eye contact with a woman derives from an issue within. They say that the eyes are the ‘gates to the soul’, so when someone looks deep into our eyes a part of us feel vulnerable. This vulnerability is amplified if there are some unresolved issues within yourself!

If you have a hint of self-loathing or low self-esteem, it will manifest itself in bad eye contact. If you are not living your life in accordance with higher ideals, if you are not aligned with your personal values and ethics, it will manifest itself in bad eye contact. Most potent of all, if you are ashamed of yourself, it will manifest itself in bad eye contact.

Geeks that masturbate to their favourite anime character in their mum's basements at 3 AM will almost certainly never have good eye contact with a woman. People that engage in fraudulent activities (unless sociopaths) never have good eye contact. The issue isn’t technical, as you can see it’s deeper than that. Confident Eye contact

Having you shit together entails:

• Having a clear mission in life

• Having set values

• Having personal ethics

• Embracing your masculine energy

• Having set boundaries

A confident man with his shit together will never have an issue with eye contact. He will be comfortable with himself and feel at ease during a conversation. Why would you feel scared or vulnerable when you’re at peace with yourself? How could a woman threaten you with her sexual essence? It can’t happen for the confident man.

Steps to Building Eye-Contact

Here are some real practical steps to help you build your eye contact.

1. Don’t watch fucking ‘practice eye contact videos on YouTube’

2. Find out what deeper issue is causing the eye contact problem and promise yourself to resolve it.

3. Start practising eye contact on REAL people, if you are nervous look at the spot between their eyebrows. You should, however, move onto their eyes.

4. Don’t stare; use appropriate breaks during the conversation (usually every 5-10 seconds but depends on the person you are talking to).

5. Focus on one eye, you can’t focus on both at the same time (try it).

6. When talking to a group, spread your eye contact evenly amongst each person. Don’t block anyone out and focus too intensely on one person.

7. Don’t open your eyes too wide like a fish, you can blink this isn’t a staring competition.

8. If you are feeling awkward, that’s good. You are getting out of your comfort zone; soon this shit will be a breeze.

9. Prosper

Game changer

Once you improve your eye contact you will notice more women being attracted to you. Eye-contact is one of the best non-verbal cues for confidence. When you can talk to a girl while looking her dead in the eyes you stand out. You stand out because most emasculated men are ashamed to do it. They can’t do it. Now I want you to go out there and experiment with this. If it helped you, come back to this thread and share your success story.

[–]Modredpillschool[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (18 children)

You might also have trouble with eye contact if you have poor eyesight. People who went a long time without getting glasses or contacts subconsciously learn to not look people in the eyes because they have a hard time telling if the other person is looking back. The behavior can persist after getting lenses.

[–]IRedEver 94 points95 points  (3 children)

"Failure to hold eye contact is a deep-seated issue; it’s not a technical one." Very true. If you think about it, eye-contact is one of the most ancient and fundamental ways of communicating, not only for humans.

When I look people in the eye while walking I notice various responses. Some look back, some look away, some look back and smile, a few say "hi". Maybe one of the roots of this problem is fear of rejection? If you feel like shit inside, maybe someone not meeting your eye-contact can be interpreted as a micro-rejection?

Good post!

[–]Lightning14 39 points40 points  (1 child)

not only for humans.

Yes. Anyone that has owned a dog knows how important eye contact can be to communication.

[–]KRISTAPORZINGA 22 points23 points  (0 children)

"If you even have a HINT of low self esteem YOURE FUCKED." I'm sorry but that's fucking dumb. As human beings we all have times where we feel not 100% our confident selves. That doesn't mean you can't hold eye contact. This all or nothing thinking is dumb as hell. You can feel bad and still have strong eye contact; just don't react to shitty thoughts.

Other than that the post is good. Strong eye contact is extremely important But too many armchair psychologists here that have no idea how the mind actually functions.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Social Conditioning: Don’t show attraction!

There is also a status thing - if you feel the woman is higher status than you, it's natural to be unable to hold eye contact.

I partly blame these new age Feminazis for fucking up the biological male and female sexual chemistry (nothing against proper feminists).

Even "proper" feminists are pushing an unequal and onesided agenda.

The problem isn't even feminism (I wish it was). The problem is inherent in human nature: women want to fight off betas while still getting their resources and this is done by maintaining disinterest, the pretence of sexual purity and shaming men for their interest, thereby externalising responsibility, all of which is neatly encapsulated in the phrase "I'm not that kind of girl!".

Meanwhile men wish to stop OTHER men from having sexual access to women. This leads us directly to a state where everyone is repressing male sexuality.

  1. Find out what deeper issue is causing the eye contact problem and promise yourself to resolve it.

This isn't trivial to work out. However usually it's fear of reprisals, lack of self belief (ie believing their thin veil of disinterest) and pedestaling women (seeing them as higher status than you).

Once you improve your eye contact you will notice more women being attracted to you

Absolutely. You can change women from mild disinterest to strong interest with solid eye contact.

For newbies: start by overdoing it to the point of creepy. Reign it back in later.

[–]xx-Rain_Maker-xx 41 points42 points  (3 children)

Don't look at the spot between their eyebrows, people notice it. Just focus on one eye, then move your focus to the other.

[–]praisebeekek 27 points28 points  (1 child)

This was actually one of the first things I taught myself when I learned about TRP. I initially thought it would work so mid convo I slowly adjusted my eyes to that spot and then thought 'this is fucked' and stopped doing it. Conversation went on normally but I definitely noticed she paused and was processing what I just did.

[–]ReddingtonsShitList 18 points19 points  (0 children)

It's great if you're trying to fuck with someone or make them feel uncomfortable

[–]Jungle_Bike 1 point2 points  (0 children)

focus on one eye, then move your focus to the other.

How often do you switch which eye you look at? I see many girls pupils change eyes several times a second, but I feel like if I change every 10 seconds its kinda noticeable

[–]neurosissss 25 points26 points  (1 child)

Good post. It's one of those issues that I'm not self-concious about, either way. I'm not sure whether I maintain good eye contact or not.

[–]pugnaciousvagabond[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

People should feel more engaged with you if you maintain it. Chances are you do, if you didn't you would know.

[–]Frigzy 35 points36 points  (15 children)

I generally agree with your breakdown.

I'd add as a summary: your capacity to hold determined eye contact with women human beings is directly related to your sense of self-worth.

You lock eyes with a woman? You feel comfortable in honing in on your prey because you know exactly what you are looking at, what it means to you and how to handle the tension it creates. You feel worthy of the subconscious attraction.

You meet a man's eyes? You engage in a battle to the death on a subconsciously level. If you deem yourself as an inferior man/opponent, if you feel yourself unworthy of battle, you will instinctively look away in submission. This is part of why martial arts are so important. (And why holding eye-contact with men can go badly when you're fucking around with it for the sake of 'practice'.)

Obviously it's not always as clear cut as I lay it out here, but it is what it boils down to. The capacity for eyecontact is one of the most important measurement of a man's existential health.

[–]TheOriginalWasBetter 22 points23 points  (1 child)

I would add, in the case of guys, when someone makes eye contact with you then and doesn't look away with in a second or two then you should acknowledge it. Just say hey or head nod or wave or whatever. To do so is a sign of mutual respect since you've both shown yourself to be confident guys by not submissively looking away. If the other guy doesn't acknowledge you that says more about him then you. Either he's socially awkward, or he's lost in thought, or maybe he's just a jerk. Getting in to stare downs or being a dick to random strangers doesn't make you masculine so if the other guy does so that doesn't say anything negative about you.

[–]Frigzy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Spot on. There's also the variant where someone has a visible mark that would cause people to stare. I tend to look away in such cases simply out of politeness.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (6 children)

I don't really feel inferior to anyone even though I'm smaller and younger and weaker than a lot of men and I'm a teenager. But I understand that concept but I don't look away sometimes because I forget and I don't feel any tension so maybe that's why some people don't like me because they feel tension around me making them feel inferior.

[–]miracleman55 17 points18 points  (5 children)

Work on those conjunctions pal...

[–]Rollo_Mayhem3 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Yes, I was practicing eye-contact while walking around my neighborhood. I did something I normally would not do and it felt good. I was walking and saw a girl taking a picture of her dog in front of a water foundation to my left. I was actually more interested in looking at the dog after I saw that she wasn't all that. So as I walked, I was admiring the dog. Then as I turn to look straight ahead, a man was walking towards me (there were park benches to my right) but I could hear he was telling the dog to sit. I locked eyes with him initially, but as I noticed he was walking towards me, instead of towards the dog, I actually got annoyed and made the annoyed looked at him. However, after another second I could see that he was taller and just as muscular as me, and I broke eye contact because I was playing it cool...anyway, I am encouraged at how I was expressed annoyance with him stepping in my direction, as if to say "who do you think you are stepping towards me like that!" particularly because I was walking away from the girl and the dog. My interpretation was that he saw me staring and got up from the bench to say something to let me know he is with her, he perceived a threat. So I can feel the change happening because my initial immediate reaction was correct but I did a second later break 'prematurely' although I would have had to turn my neck to maintain contact. I was certainly wasn't going to stop and stare at him because that makes me confrontational without any real reason than he taking a step towards me.

[–]1Harry_Wangs 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Sounds like a lot of overthinking and you need to socialize more.

Most social people would smile and say I like "Hi, I like your dog, he's cute" and go on with their day, not thinking about the interaction. Or in the best case situation make two new friends in the neighborhood...

[–]cashmoney_x 6 points7 points  (3 children)

"Playing it cool...."

You're hamstering.

[–]Rollo_Mayhem3 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Well, as oppose to what, starting a fight bc I perceived him to be letting me know that's his girl. I certainly wasn't going to just start a random convo. This whole situation took place over the course of maybe 40 seconds as I was walking through the park.

[–]greatslyfer 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well why would you start giving him an annoyed look in the first place?

You said it yourself, it's cause he was bigger than you that you started backing off with your initial stare.

[–]MattR1984 15 points16 points  (7 children)

Good post, only one thing regarding part 4.

There is nothing wrong with staring, so long as you are smiling and engaging in the conversation.

A man who is enthralled by a woman simply cannot look away.

It's when you stare with crazy eyes then say and do nothing that staring becomes an issue.

Also, the only "break" in eye contact you are allowed is when she looks away.

[–]LandoChronus 8 points9 points  (5 children)

Expect looking away every so often lets her know your world isn't revolving around her. You make eye contact because you're interested in what she's saying because you're listening intently. You glance around the room and check out the waitress' cute butt because she's not there only girl in your life. You BOTH need to know that.

Also, the only "break" in eye contact you are allowed is when she looks away.

She doesn't allow me to do anything, either by her intentions or mainstream social dynamics. You're already seeking her approval.

[–]MattR1984 0 points1 point  (4 children)

By "allowed" I mean it won't lower your value in any way.

[–]LandoChronus 2 points3 points  (3 children)

If you're saying that only looking away when she does is allowed because it won't lower your value, you're STILL in her frame.

You're basing your actions off of her and what she will think or do or say. THAT alone will automatically lower your value in her eyes. The whole reason we're here on this subreddit is because we're tired of playing by the girls' rules and losing: stop playing the game with her!

[–]MattR1984 -1 points0 points  (2 children)

What I'm saying is that you shouldn't break eye contact with her before she does, at least at the start of the interaction.

It's hardly falling into her frame, lol, eye contact is dominance.

It's just showing interest and being confident enough to hold eye contact.

I'll often just keep staring at them while they are talking as well and only look away once they finish.

Breaking eye contact is breaking tension and if she breaks tension that's a good thing.

So long as you aren't chasing her eyes then it's fine.

The problem you seem to be having is that you are treating it as a game and not just confident attention.

[–]LandoChronus 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You went from originally saying you can't look away because you're enthralled, to you won't.

It's hard to follow you when every post you make either adds an addendum to your story, or you switch around...

[–]MattR1984 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

They are two separate reasons for looking at her that's why.

[–]CRGRO 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I agree mostly, but realistically staring without speaking depends on your SMV. Consequently, it's also a good technique to determine your SMV in her eyes, pun intended.

If your SMV is high it plays out in the following scenarios.

The two of you are interacting in public, and when pause in the conversation naturally ensues, you stare, conveying with eye contact: you understand, that she understands, that this interaction is inevitably ending in sex. This applies tension, and she will speak to fill the void. This is good, because she's nervous and you're not, so you easily draw her into your stable frame by continuing the conversation naturally.

The second scenario is when you're in a more private location. Naturally a pause ensues, you just stare conveying with eye contact: the inevitable outcome has arrived, let's both do what we knew we were going to do since the beginning. You'll easily find an opening to enter during this time and you'll seal the deal. If you encounter another nervous tension breaker by her just accept it as a greater buildup that will result in a greater climax.

If your SMV is not high enough it plays out like so:

A pause ensues, you stare, she stares, she breaks eye contact and doesn't say anything or feel the need to say anything. You become nervous and break frame, and it's over.

Staring will give you a real good look into what your SMV actually is to the girl. It's also a super easy way to gain more power and turn her on if your SMV is high enough.

[–]top_zozzle 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I keep seeing these threads and I had no fucking clue people had trouble maintaining eye contact.

[–]stratboy1970 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ikr, I think it's weird when people DON'T look me in the eye while speaking.

[–]Forcetobereckonedwit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If she can't feel you fucking her when you meet eyes, you won't be fucking her with any other part of your body.

I don't mean staring her up and down like she's a piece of pie. I mean letting her know that you are the male, she is the female, and all will be right with the world when she accepts your reality into hers.

Good post OP, btw.

[–]OneLifeSucks 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Most people, even though they can't maintain good eye contact with an adult, have no problems maintaining eye contact with a child or even a dog. The reason is they don't take the interaction that seriously, they don't feel any subconscious pressure. When you stop taking people so seriously, stop placing so much significance on a minor interaction with someone whose opinion of you really doesn't matter, eye contact suddenly becomes very easy. You'll probably notice people suddenly not holding very good eye contact with you instead, the power dynamic has switched.

[–]VaginalFury 0 points1 point  (0 children)

idk its the opposite for me. i have zero problem holding eye contact with any adult but when a little kid stares into me it feels like he stares right through my soul and it gets uncomfortable.

[–]1PantsonFire1234 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well I kind of always figured I didn't want to be a weird creep that stares without blinking. So I approach things casual where I look a person in the eye and when the conversation ebs and flows I look around and then return to them etc. You might disagree OP but that's how I approached things for now. I also find that I avoid eye contact with people I despise. Unattractive women or mentally ill people, I can sniff them out and I honestly can't stand the contact.

[–]sekerzitski 1 points1 points [recovered]

And when choosing an eye to gaze, pick left one. It is linked with the emotional center of brain.

[–]TecnoParadox 32 points33 points  (3 children)

Their left or your left? I'm afraid that might confuse others just like it is confusing me.

[–]SovereignSoul76 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Carry a mirror around with you. Make the person stand behind you, and speak to the reflection while maintaining alpha eye contact. Problem solved.

[–]domth 1 points1 points [recovered]


Not quite. Both eyes are linked to both parts of the brain. The right visual field is linked to the left brain (logical centers) and the left visual field is linked to the right brain (emotional centers). So looking at a particular eye shouldn't matter, but which side you approach from might matter, and if her head/body is not directly facing you then which side you're on might matter.

Coincidentally (or not), the ears are also cross-wired. The left side of your audiovisual sensory experience activates your right brain.

[–]clccno4 3 points4 points  (1 child)

This is the right answer. When people have strokes they sometimes lose half of their visual field which respects the midline as half the right eye crosses to the left side and half the left eye crosses to the right.

So you are wasting your time picking an eye to stare down.

[–]destraht 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its irritating to me that the scientifically proven correct clarification has been glossed over by most while the magazine pop culture dating tip comment is so popular. I'm reminded of how many people out there are forcefully doing wonky things to try an get an edge up instead of just being a good instance of themselves. Multiplied out by the thousands and with all of the drugs people are taking its just a bunch of weirdos the way I see it.

[–]iamneptuno 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is God tier hamstering.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

so their left eye, means i look at the right one. I tested it with a girl and looking at the right one works best.

[–]TonkaXcranK 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Some serious directionally challenged individuals here. How do you expect to improve when you can't tell the damn left eye from the right eye.

[–]H42 1 points1 points [recovered]

Her left eye. It is linked with the emotional center of her brain.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMarsupian 17 points18 points  (8 children)

Isn't the left side of the brain the emotional side so her right eye (I think they cross before processing in the brain) which means looking at the left one from your perspective?

Does anyone here actually think about what eye they should look at when making eye contact? Sounds a little counter productive...

[–]RedSugarPill 16 points17 points  (3 children)

No. Both eyes are connected to both brain hemispheres.

[–]ballonetje3 1 point2 points  (2 children)

The visual imagery you recieve on your right side is processed in the left hemisfere, and left sided visuals on teh right. And I mean imagery, not eyeballs. Has nothing to do with left handedness or emotions, just wireing

[–]hktrp 1 points1 points [recovered]

From what I understand to be true. It is best to look at one eye at a time and focus on that one. If you pick HER right eye, then most probably most of what you will be saying and adressing to her will go through her brain's logical centre; where it will go through her logixal defenses and shields. If you pick HER left eye, most probably most of what you will be communicating will be going through her emotional centres first instead of logical thinking, without most of the logical defences and shields. Same with which side of her body are you adressing or facing when talking to her.

From experience, choosing her left eye and left side of her body makes her more emotionally susceptible to what you're communicating without having it go through her logical reasoning first and therefore makes creating a connection easier.

[–]ashbae 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is so dumb it physically hurts me.

[–]destraht 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is an example of not really knowing how it works and extrapolating some common knowledge to a place that it does not apply. In this case it is a rather trivial mistake that has no real immediate downside but it illustrates a deeper problem and I wonder how much cruft that you built up around this. How many other incorrect stories have you taken in?

[–]planned_serendipity1 0 points1 point  (1 child)

My left or their left? I find myself naturally looking to my left which would be their right eye.

[–]cornylamygilbert 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dunno if I agree with "stare at one eye" this usually distracts me as I over focus on that damned eye. I like the thrill of keeping your eyes focused so you match their focus. Like two cyclops from xmen using their laser eyes to overpower the other, but they just stalemate

[–]pbnjd 10 points11 points  (3 children)

This is misleading to some extent.

There are numerous external factors associated with making eye contact and one simply cannot share a stare with whomever they choose.

I used to be a below average guy. If you added in my wrinkly clothes and messy hair then I was definitely not great to stare at.

Compared to the attention I am able to receive now as a male model I realized in the past I was simply being acknowledged rather than noticed. Girls tried to avoid looking my direction at all costs and even If our eyes met, they would glance away as fast as possible. I had no chance in hell even on the days I would actually try and take care of myself. I was pretty much invisible to women I found attractive.

I personally believe none of these techniques really matter unless you are perceived as above average in the eyes of your intended audience. Just look at us TRP men, would we be willing to make eye contact with women we don't find attractive? Probably not because everyone knows it's a sign of interest and average people are nothing special and come a dime a dozen.

[–]nadolny7 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think most of the stuff in TRP applies only after you take care of the 2 fundamental rules:

  1. Be attractive.

  2. Don't be unattractive

[–]dickinlipss 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree with this. Also if you are perceived as potentially rapey it's better to treat them like cats and not scare them away with too much eye contact. Warmth is more important in such cases to get them comfortable.

[–]SelfTaughtPiano 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you share the recipe to becoming a male model? I mean, besides lifting and exercise (i do that). What else can I do?

[–]Zerwas 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A good trick for people who have problems with this is just to try to remember the eye-color of the people (not only women) you talk to.
Make a game out of it if you need to practice. I have much more positive reactions from women (and in general men) since I learned this. It is indeed a game changer.

[–]johncillo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had this problem in the past, another thing you can do is to look at the eyes of the person and try to determine their eye color. This will give them the attention they need when talking and you will feel focused on their gaze.

[–]Mescuzzi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I tend to hold eye contact with another guy for longer than a second or two, I'll smile or hit em with a grin and greet them (or a bottoms up head nod).

When I tend to hold eye contact with another chick for longer than a second or two, I'll hit em with a cocky grin, and if that doesn't make them look away, I'll follow that with a wink which usually always seals the deal. Sometimes even a half-wink is all you need, but make sure your smiling when you do it. Women pick up on even the slightest gestures, you'd be surprised if you haven't noticed before.

Basically, Amused Mastery

[–]GarrusTH3Sniper 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I’ve always had trouble distinguishing myself from a socio/psychopath lol I don’t have a problem looking anyone in the eyes. I am often on the other end of the spectrum where eye contact needs to be tempered with gaps of time and a concerted effort needs to be made to shift eye contact between all persons involved. The thing that helped me realize this was when a friend told me I intimidate people lol Ever since she said that I have tried to dial it down a notch or two so people feel at ease. That’s really all anyone wants right? To feel at ease?

I dunno. Maybe I am rambling. The labels “sociopath” and “psychopath” always bothered me because 1. I relate to them on some levels 2. I can’t seem to accept that I may in fact be one. 😳

[–]SelfTaughtPiano 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact that you're empathizing is proof that you're not a complete psychopath.

[–]hellshigh5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Since i'm in the military i never had a problem like this one

[–]ayylma088 3 points4 points  (6 children)

Great advice. Been looking for a post like this. How do you suggest maintaining eye contact with someone you dont know?

Example: subway, girl sitting accross the isle you are sitting in?

[–]BendAndSnap- 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Like this (best movie ever lol)


[–]dickinlipss 2 points3 points  (1 child)

[–]BarracudaRP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure why you got downvoted, that dude's alpha as fuck. And I'm pretty sure he's a mod on DeadBedrooms.

[–]MagnumBurrito 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just hold eye contact with a slight smile/smirk. Let her break contact first. It shows confidence and gets her attracted.

Then approach if it's socially calibrated to. IE she's not holding her boyfriends hand at the time.

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Enough bullshit, it’s time for people to really understand the truth about eye contact. Failure to hold eye contact is a deep-seated issue; it’s not a technical one. The reason people can’t maintain eye contact isn’t due to the fact that they don’t know how it’s because of the beliefs they hold that lead them to feel uncomfortable.

More often than not, a failure to hold eye contact with a woman derives from an issue within. They say that the eyes are the ‘gates to the soul’, so when someone looks deep into our eyes a part of us feel vulnerable. This vulnerability is amplified if there are some unresolved issues within yourself!

If you have a hint of self-loathing or low self-esteem, it will manifest itself in bad eye contact. If you are not living your life in accordance with higher ideals, if you are not aligned with your personal values and ethics, it will manifest itself in bad eye contact. Most potent of all, if you are ashamed of yourself, it will manifest itself in bad eye contact.

This is all objectively false. The reason eye contact is tough is because when you look at someone your brain is trying to process all the information being conveyed. Attempting to decode and interpret all the information in the face and microexpressions. This requires brain processing power. The more of it taken up with that, the less that can be used on other things such as thinking what to say.

If you wish to test this theory then it's very easy to do. Get a friend, sit down and ask them to look at you for a few seconds then they will answer a question from you. Do this several times and vary the difficulty of the question. Look for them looking away and watch their eyes. You will see that as the question varies in difficulty, they look away more.

The only solution to this is practice. While I have no idea about these youtube videos, I think they will have limited success levels because this is essentially a multitasking issue. Training your brain to have flirty conversations as easy enough to process that you can also maintain eye contact at the same time. That's what you need to do. This can be practiced with casual conversations with friends or random women at the bar without targeting sex as the end goal. Baby steps and all that. The rest is reasonably useful stuff, but trust me, the practice is the key.

Nothing more to say here folks.

  1. Further reading.
  2. Even more reading.

[–]beer_and_sticks 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Sustained eye contact is not only creepy but a sign of sociopathy.

[–]SamuraiPizzaCatz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think most people don't realize that holding eye contact with someone is only for when you're talking to them/about to approach them.

My mom stares at everyone all the time. I constantly have to tell her to stop looking at everyone like a psycho for reasons apparently imperceptible to TRP.

Point blank - A woman into you will look away almost immediately, worst case she matches your gaze and you walk up to her right away and say hi. You staring her down like a chode waiting for her to 'submit' just makes you look stupid and her uncomfortable. You staring guys in the face for extended periods of time = you want to fight, period.

[–]Elm0RP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A great book on this topic is the power of eye contact, it touches on using it as an attraction tool for both men and women, and it really helps you see it from the woman's perspective, eye contact is an ioi. Highly recommend for those who find eye contact uncomfortable.

[–]zayelion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Having personal ethics

Might I suggest evaluating ethics one cant maintain and just removing them in the first place. Dont bother with guilt.

[–]Belmont_Trevor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

in the wild, an alpha male lion will look right at his challenger, and either that other lion will look back and a fight ensues or he backs off and runs away. So now for us humans why would we be afraid of a woman, that is what that would represent, not looking at them. And if a woman senses fear of course she won't be attracted to that guy.

[–]Bambam60 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great post! I couldn't have said it better for most of society. A ton of RP caveats.

I also feel it's worth mentioning that eye contact in some Asian countries is seen as disrespectful/standoffish in their culture. I know this isn't necessarily the market you were referencing, but I felt like it was worth bringing up.

[–]crx1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Start small and work your way up: practice with parents and/or other family members, then close friends, neighbors, acquaintances, girls working (waitresses, cashiers, etc.), average-looking girls all the way up to the hot ones. Keep building your SMV, keep practicing and never stop.

[–]TheyHaveToGo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since the topic is eye contact I feel this tip is not out of place.

A well deployed wink while making strong proper eye contact along with just a bit of a devilish smile works wonders with most women.

Obviously like eye contact itself the wink must be done confidently and in an appropriate situation. Also frequency is important, don't try it multiple times if it is I'll received the first time.

If you want to watch a dude who knows how to give the perfect wink in social situations find a video of former NYS Senate majority leader Joe Bruno dropping a wink. While his are in a political context its still about making a connection and increasing attraction/creating interest.

After mastering eye contact a properly deployed wink can soak panties of women who often would look right though you. Especially if you wait for the right moment in a conversation with your target.

[–]OceanPoultry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i was listening to deep inner game and he says that if you make eye contact with a hot chick in a store or whatever basically it because a staring contest and if you look away first you lose. Forcing her to look away first proves you are high status. As long as you aren't being creepy about it. It's a delicate balancing act..

[–]freeman_c14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hypnotica (i know, he is a "filthy pua") made an interesting video about eye contact techniques.


[–]rudra_1793 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the Shit why I am on TRP .

[–]workunit13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have to say, when I was out there and trying to meet women, I worked on holding eye contact. I never did that at all in my youth. The successes I had were seriously noticeable.

[–]Redsmoke18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is by far one of the hardest things for me to do, and yes sometimes I feel like I am being disrespectful by staring them in the eye, and yes sometimes I feel so uncomfortable that I wanna stare away, but I feel im getting better at. This is so important and I cant believe I overlooked this for so many years. I realized woman love when you look them in the eyes. It makes them feel at ease ( as long as your not staring them down of course.) at the beginning its like keeping your eyes open without blinking while peeling a onion ( very difficult), but now I feel more confident, and realized people respect you for doing it, and it builds confidence in a way you wont beleive! Great post man.

[–]IonianIdol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Strong eye contact is indeed underrated and very hard to implement in your everyday game when you begin. That's one of the thing I actually struggled with at first. I also feel like appropriate squinting is crucial.

[–]Jack4au 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do I not come off as a "creep" staring at them? Genuine question :/

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just stop watching porn and jerking off, you'll be able to make eye contact 100x easier then. And no, it's not bullshit. Don't bash it until you try it.

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you seen those videos where bitches smack their lips, crumple napkins and lick icecreams for 2 hours straight?

ANYTHING is a tool for bitches who KNOW they look good, to attention-whore even more.

If you were crumplong napkins on youtube, nobody would give a shit, but because she has the fake eyelashes, that'll be 1 mil views easy.

[–]RosstheMoss81 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rasputin broke rule #4 as a way of life and banged anyone he wanted.

[–]newName543456 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Don’t open your eyes too wide like a fish, you can blink this isn’t a staring competition.

But also be aware, if you are squinting. I apparently do so a lot, and then I have been told I look thuggish - even when dressed in suit.

[–]Kalidane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Come at it from the other side.

When you feel like a lion looking at a gazelle, you hold hard eye contact while thinking how tasty they will be. No conscious effort involved. Super strong non-verbal and that's the language they respond to.

[–]thechaosz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've struggled with eye contact say, when you're walking down a long pathway or hallway at the mall, grocery store, etc. Do we look a little and small and keep looking straight?

What's a good way? Wait till the last minute then look over and smile. Basically you either look at them or straight ahead are your only two options

[–]posseltsenvel0pe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My eye contact is on point when I am actually talking to the girl. Its on the streets where I find it just plain awkward holding eye contact with a woman. Why? Well I dont do that with men either. I am very situational. At a party Im totally down to introduce myself but I dont want ot come off as a creep by staring at beautiful women out of the blue.

[–]BurnYourFlag 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What if I told you I masturbate to anime bitches at 3 am, and look into the eyes of a girl and feel nothing. These 3d hose can't even compete wit my 2d waifu. I will occasionally gift the 3d hose wit my dick, but afterwards I can't maintain eyecontact with my waifu the shame is too much what do i do?

[–]drsherbert 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do I avoid staring them down? They say my eyes look evil.

[–]daydreamin511 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its fucked how this works. I was drinking late night outside my lawn with a few friends. They brought this girl along and I sat beside her. Couldn't really give eye contact. Was drinking a shit ton then later towards the night I was just speaking to her with my eyes and very little words. She was shy and oepend up to me and we fucked the same night after the first few hours of ok chemistry.

[–]DinosaursGoPoop 1 points1 points [recovered]

What the hell is this beta neckbeard bullshit? Fuck, just don't be a weak bitch. If you actually work out, take care of yourself and don't spaz out there is no need for this. Wtf people, stop being fucking weirdos.

[–]zayelion 2 points3 points  (5 children)

You can be buff and still a bitch in conversation dude. Thats not sexy. If you act like a spaz while she is trying to figure out if you like her or not.

[–]DinosaursGoPoop 1 points1 points [recovered]

I don't see it, I don't know a single bro I workout with that has bitch conversation problems. I simply don't get it, if you work out you should have no reason to be a bitch in conversation. It doesn't track with me.

[–]zayelion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lifting fixes many things, including eye contact via the mechanism described. There might be other issues though like being short, a different race, shy around women, other BP programming still not washed out.

[–]poisedStygian -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Guess you haven't seen Jersey Shore.

[–]Belmont_Trevor -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

you're likely lying you wouldn't be here if you were already perfect.

[–]swordshab 1 points1 points [recovered]

I'm 2 weeks into nofap and today I made this milf get all nervous just by my eye contact and demeanor. She was so flustered it was funny

[–]broccoli49 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe you creeped her out :p

[–]PreOrgasmGroanLness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just saying, I can hold eye contact but am not confident with women.

[–]alan1jones 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some people aren't comfortable with eye contact.

[–]STFUIDGAFUCK 0 points1 point  (0 children)

" If you are feeling awkward. Thats good. It means you are getting out of your comfort zone." Well said

[–]Joey_Adobo 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This sub is pure entertainment.

[–]SamuraiPizzaCatz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can't believe people are hyper analyzing eye contact.

This sub is full of autists, period.

[–]Salted_Pretzel -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Good post. The most important aspect of eye contact is getting practice. You're not going to get good by simply fixing your inner beliefs.

[–]AssMaster95 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Eye contact has become second nature in conversations for me now

[–]Pipsquik -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I started making hard eye contact with every person I could in 9th or 10th grade. Been about 5 years and now it's ridiculously easy, like second nature for me. It's actually fun to me to make eye contact and hold it for as long as possible when walking by.

[–]wenchslapper -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you're making this shit up. Please offer some peer reviewed articles that support your claims.