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The never ending shit tests I have experienced while losing weight (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]

[deleted]


[–]BlackJ1 567 points568 points  (43 children)

Crab bucket mentality.

When you start to improve it makes other people realize their own faults. Misery really does love company.

Just look out for the ones that support and encourage you to as they are ones who truly care about you.

[–][deleted] 80 points81 points  (11 children)

This and don't give a fuck about the naysayers because they want you to lose,dont give into their frame.

[–]supersede points points [recovered]

I'm wondering if OP ever gave his family the heads up. Something as simple as:

"Look guys I'm putting my nose to the grindstone, and have decided to get in great shape."

Could help with family expectations. The maternal line in your family is always going to be concerned with you eating enough, but you can at least set expectations. I would give your family the benefit of the doubt, at least up until the point where you've given them the heads up you're doing healthy weight loss.

Everyone outside your family can go fuck themselves though.

[–]1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 11 points12 points  (4 children)

Could help with family expectations.

Maybe...maybe not. From his Mum's comment, I expect the rest of his family to be on the over-weight\morbidly obese side...

[–]jairothevaca 3 points4 points  (3 children)

He should tell his mom he is trying to lose weight. If his mother doesn't know he is trying to lose weight she probably thinks he is sick. You know, healthy people don't lost several pounds without they wanting to.

[–]vwzwv 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He should tell his mom he is trying to lose weight.

Better just to not say anything at all. If one has the mindset not to supplicate with an answer, nor have the need to supplicate it's easy to stay with new habits. The best way to destroy a forming habit is to tell someone close to you.

If a mom asks too many times about it and you must say something, say something that does not confirm you are trying to lose weight like, 'I don't know. Donuts just taste like crap to me now'. Especially good because anyone who starts to defend the taste of donuts looks like an idiot.

[–]basebool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How does this effect his family anymore than anyone else?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

what you said makes absolutely zero sense. His family could have asked him and OP would have probably said he wants to get in shape.

[–]unsafeword points points [recovered]

Crab bucket mentality is a big part of it, no doubt. But betas in transition are also regarded as a sort of grotesque curiosity. I'll snatch a part of my reply to a different post, as it's relevant here too:

A beta who acknowledges attempts at self improvement will be seen as a joke and can expect thinly veiled ridicule and sabotage from all women who know about it. The women around him will regard him as a sort of sad curiosity if he fails, and a grotesque imposter in his early stages of success.

The women who can be brought around by success will change perspective sooner if changes seem magical and without cause. "Late bloomer" is easier to accept than "beta who is trying hard."

Resist any urge to make a big deal or engage when women start to probe. Laugh and shrug it off. It will get worse before it gets better, and some who knew a guy as a fat guy will never see him as thin. Now's the time to start practicing not giving a fuck.

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (7 children)

But betas in transition are also regarded as a sort of grotesque curiosity.

i went through exactly this. when i swallowed the pill, i dropped fat, put on muscle, and shit tests from female coworkers skyrocketed. my pre-TRP ex (i was in line for becoming betabux) even stalked me down and freaked out on me for improving myself.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (6 children)

my pre-TRP ex (i was in line for becoming betabux) even stalked me down and freaked out on me for improving myself.

HAHA. Some people are so freaking pathetic, it makes no sense.

[–]chaosmech 21 points22 points  (3 children)

It might also have had something to do with her belief that she was "owed" this better version of him.

"Oh I'm going to ditch him."

"What's this, he lost weight and put on muscle? Why couldn't he do this when he was with me?"

"Oh my god, someone else is going to benefit from what I deserve!"

[–]unsafeword points points [recovered]

Few things drive a girl crazy like hearing that she didn't have a guy at his best. I still can't get my head around the reason for this. I used to think it was because women feared that they didn't bring out the best in a man while another woman could, but I suspect that's a romanticized view. It might be more a belief that they put up with shit only to see someone else get the reward.

[–]P4_Brotagonist 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Exact words I got from an ex after I lost weight and got my shit together was "Why didn't you care enough about me to lose weight and try so hard when we were together? It just hurts knowing you didn't really love me." This is coming from the person who cheated on me and left me for someone else after 4 years together who I beta'ed the fuck out and begged not to leave because I loved her so much.

The solipsism was so unreal that me improving myself after a breakup was a personal attack on her.

[–]Htowngetdown 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this helps show that women aren't evil. They are just women. Knowing what we know now, her response to your beta-ness and subsequent self-improvement could almost be expected by a neutral, red-pilled observer.

[–]2awalt_cupcake 8 points9 points  (1 child)

nah it makes sense from their sad point of view. In loser world people don't change. "Be who you are". Winners are born winners everyone else should just stay humble and if you try to do otherwise you're just sad who can't love yourself.

[–]Swelfie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, which reinforces the human mating strategy. Get impregnated by the best genetics. Nurture is irrelevant to breeding, so the strategy puts blinders on and goes full nature.

[–]menial_optimist 49 points50 points  (6 children)

"Do not speak of your happiness to one less fortunate than yourself." - Plutarch

In many cases out of pride and an obsession to show no weaknesses, especially in north america, people will hide their misfortune. Therefore you might not even be aware that you are creating a resentful jealous enemy by talking about your big break, promotion or successful venture.

[–]Ou-tis 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Ancient dudes was wise. And show some flaws,sometimes,is a powerful tool to not being the perfect or "try very hard" guy.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

"Do not speak of your happiness to one less fortunate than yourself." - Plutarch

I want to re-phrase that.

"Do not speak of your happiness to one less motivated than yourself." - Plutarch

[–]Swelfie 6 points7 points  (1 child)

"Do not speak of your happiness to one less motivated than yourself." - Balderdash77

FTFY. I mean, pedantic, but if you are going to attribute a quote...

[–]Iseewhateyesee 43 points44 points  (2 children)

Happened to me a few weeks ago with a former friend I ran into.

Thing is he didn't say shit to me, he's one of those pussies that talks shit behind your back whiteknight assholes

Anyway, I found out that he told my mutual friend that he thought I was on drugs because I lost some weight and looked thin now... if only that were the case

Awesome post that illuminates us to the truth that some people are just pathetic and rather than feel happy for your progress, must contort reality to fit theirs

Here's the real kicker though...he's a psychology major... pathetic, he can't even psychoanalyze himself

[–]Urishima 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Anyway, I found out that he told my mutual friend that he thought I was on drugs because I lost some weight and looked thin now... if only that were the case

Gym-hater 101: everyone is juicing.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Everyone is a meathead. I remember blue-pill me in college. I made fun of frat dudes for needing friends. I made fun of jocks for being stupid. I made fun of other hipster-types for being posers. I made fun of preps for being followers. And on and on and on. Cringey shit.

[–]rg24 points points [recovered]

To be honest I think its just human nature, when a person sees someone who is successful in one area or another the instinctive response is to try to make yourself feel better. I was talking to one of my mates who's been a gym rat for years now, I'm about 2 years in myself. I asked him if he gets people being dicks to him a lot just because he works out. He looked at me with the most "You kidding me bro" look you'll ever see and said "why you think we only started being good mates last year?"

[–]-Alphalete 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Is he saying you were being a dick to him previously?

[–]vwzwv 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To be honest I think its just human nature

It's only human nature if you are a shit human. "it's just human nature" is used to hamster more than it is used appropriately.

The boy took candy from his little brother. "It's only human nature". Yeah..

[–]1OneRedSock 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Came into thread to say exactly this.

Two days ago there was a news article about one third of the world being overweight.

This is actually really awesome news for those of us who give a fuck about how we look and what we eat. A large portion of the world is automatically disqualifying themselves from being attractive.

My brother made a comment when I had my shirt off around the house months ago - he said it was embarrassing for him how good I looked, so I should put a shirt on so he wouldn't feel shamed. He let himself go real bad after the Airforce. You best believe those who don't have the willpower and discipline to do what you do will spend that energy attempting to neg you down to their pitiful level. These people aren't worth a second thought until they come to you saying they want to change their shit for the better. Even then, most often they won't have the energy and determination to stick with it; so don't burn yourself to the ground trying to be their salvation. They'll take all your energy and knowledge, and apply none of it.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I should put a shirt on so he wouldn't feel shamed.

Every time he looks at you shirtless, you should flex.

[–]vwzwv 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, because they guy would hamster something like, "He's only flexing to cover up other inadequacies in his life." Then where would shirtless guy be?

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Crab bucket mentality.

THIS! Be very aware of this mate. I'm in a very strict diet since 2 1/2 month. There's always this moment - once in while - i see some sugar-carb-fat shit in my fridge. at first it's always "oh that's totally fine. no worry about that" - checking the macro-sheet and deciding otherwise!

[–]Dead_Art 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's all Blue Pill, that mentality to me is characterized by this idea that we can't change our fate or influence what we were given. That some people are just better and you have your lot.

By improving yourself it shakes this belief and puts lie to the idea that their faults are their own and they do have the power to improve themselves yet don't.

Its like when people say "I could never draw like that", well put twelve years in of serious practice and anyone can. You could do it, it's just not important to you.

[–]sj2k 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly, and see it as a gift that you're sorting your real supporting friends from the people who just kept you around to feel good about themselves.

Keep meeting new people, you'll be starting fresh in their minds and won't experience the same bullshit where old "friends" try to pull you back into the role they've established for you.

[–]Budfox_92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have had similar experiences with my school When people see you doing something positive with your life they will make sure to try and put you down for whatever reason it is.

[–]badhairguy 156 points157 points  (5 children)

Nobody likes it when you make them feel fat and lazy. Haters gonna hate.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Yeah, well that's on them. I do wonder why they haven't mentally hamstered themselves skinny yet, though.

[–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself 11 points12 points  (0 children)

They are skinny and fit in their minds (egos). When they actually see someone GET skinny and fit, it reminds them that their ego is full of shit

[–]gerannu 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Seeing their look of sadness when I make them feel fat and lazy really motivates me for some reason.

[–]Patriarchysaurus 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Because you're a crab in a bucket just like they were for discouraging you in the first place? Good on you for learning nothing.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Betas gonna bate.

Hoes gonna ho.

Players gonna play.

Go nigga go.

[–]EZikez 77 points78 points  (10 children)

Month 5 the attack of the shit tests, the first clearly obvious shit test came from a bitch I have known since high school at a house party, she said "Haha wow you have lost some weight since school, though I'm not surprised, most people who hate themselves lose weight"

What a Fuck-Up Bitch! Why would a person say that to anyone, even to an enemy.

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (6 children)

Probably massive projection on her part

[–]Patriarchysaurus 56 points57 points  (5 children)

"I guess you must know all about that"

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (4 children)

I'd go with "You must really love yourself then".

[–]BadNerfAgent 22 points23 points  (2 children)

man, I wish I could think up shit like that on the spot.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Meditation helps. I find my wit increasing significantly with it.

[–]basebool 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If it makes you feel better, very few can unless they think about it and write it on a post.

[–]sj2k 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Or: "Then what's YOUR excuse?"

[–]Keith_Valentine 44 points45 points  (0 children)

I would have roasted that bitch, on the spot, no mercy

[–]AnonymousAndLovinIt 96 points97 points  (9 children)

People will fight you on the road to improving yourself. It's such an eye opener. Once you surpass people who were better than you, though, it starts to get sobering how they just fell behind.

6 months in I have experienced a shit test from my Mum this time claiming " god you have lost some weight, are you ill or something??

That sounds like genuine concern, not a shit test.

[–]yomo86 21 points22 points  (0 children)

That sounds like genuine concern, not a shit test.

I think so too.

Your son loses weight exceptionally fast but you don't see the effort because of the circumstances. Free body weight exercises and a changed diet are far less visible than, let's say, shouting that she does not have to wait for you for dinner because you are on the way to the gym.

[–]jamesbond0512 points points [recovered]

Makes me wonder how much does his mom really care. I'm pretty sure if you start the gym, some relatives would have known after a month.

[–]Urishima 14 points15 points  (5 children)

Read again, his parents first congratulated him on it 3 months in.

My mom is like that as well. Was simply happy for me at first, but now that I am healthy and am looking to gain more muscle, she's concerned that I start doing roids or some shit like that.

[–]AnonymousAndLovinIt 3 points4 points  (3 children)

lol parents (especially moms) are pretty funny with their fear of steroids

[–]TRPmmm points points [recovered]

It's a fair concern though, I know so many fellas that are doing it and once you're into the gym scene the access to it is unavoidable. I know TRP advocates for it but the stuff will destroy your heart.

[–]AnonymousAndLovinIt 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes. However, I've recieved a lot of flak for using whey protein.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you limit yourself to synthetic testosterone at moderate doses of 250mg and below per week then your heart will be just fine, if not better since being leaner and more fit is obviously better for your heart than being a fat piece of shit. This is not a very anabolic dosage, I am aware, but keep in mind most people on Test are on it to maintain optimal levels, not to gain 15 pounds of muscle in 10 weeks. IMO this shit is the fountain of youth.

[–]diaperedwoman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine got concerned about me as well because she was worried i was losing it too fast. There is such thing as losing too much and getting too thin. So she talked to my doctor about it and he said mine was fine.

[–]2awalt_cupcake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Once you surpass people who were better than you

In my journey 90% of the crabs were people who were NOT better than me. They just thought they were and I would have had no clue they thought that until I started improving significantly.

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Fuck that noise man. I'm down almost 80 and I've been running into the same situations.

[–]ransay3277 42 points43 points  (20 children)

Same here. When I started that just stop stuffing my fat face diet, I've been getting the same. (Just stopped drinking soda and substituting water and lost 13 pounds.) They are projecting.

[–]menial_optimist 10 points11 points  (19 children)

Dang, great job. I've been cutting for 30 days, lost maybe 1 pound sadly. Been trying to go from 116 to 110. Despite cardio every day and caloric deficit. Yes I'm a naturally skinnier manlet.

[–]BigMawsmidget 8 points9 points  (8 children)

Kg or pounds cause unless you're a woman, or short that's extreme for a guy only if you mean pounds.

[–]menial_optimist 14 points15 points  (7 children)

pounds yes. Pretty standard weight for a 5"0 guy.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Keep it up man. A slow cut means you're more likely to trim fat than burn into muscle. You should be proud of yourself for sticking to a routine so well that you can do cardio everyday and still lose weight while having energy.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fuck dude, how old are you? Why the hell would you be cutting? You need to get all Bruce Lee, eat lots of protein and lift as well as increase your speed. Unless you're not 17 yet, in which case start light and see if you grow any. I was the same as you until I was 14, due to diet. You're probably not eating enough.

Have a bud as tall as you, his girl is taller and she's hot. My brothers wife is taller than he is too, and my little brother is a serious bad ass, only 5'6. Nobody in their right mind fucks with him, he exudes confidence. You can do it man, work with what you got and make the most of it. Polish that game, I had to. I know it works.

[–]Unnormally 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I suppose. Though I can't imagine how much room you have to cut. I'm 5'11", and the lowest weight I was at was 130-ish. At this point I'm looking how to gain weight, not lose it. XD

[–]menial_optimist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately when you bing drink and eat junk food and gain fat, one of the first places (in men) fat goes is straight to the gut, and it's the last place fat is taken off.

[–]officerkondo -3 points-2 points  (2 children)

How old are you? My son is 5'3" and he's 12.

EDIT: much wee man salt to be mined in this thread.

[–]All-DayErrDay 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Probably not any younger then 18.

[–]d0lphinsex 5 points6 points  (0 children)

r-keto, r-ketogains, r-intermittentfasting

[–]calloberjig 7 points8 points  (4 children)

110

You should not cut until you have put on a heap of muscle mass. Lift hard, compound lifts, and eat like a beast.

[–]menial_optimist -1 points0 points  (3 children)

I spent years eating shit and drinking big quantities of beer, I want to cut enough that this beer gut finally disappears. I got most of it off a year or two ago but it's still not flat.

[–]calloberjig 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Lifting will shift that gut mass to your muscles. Compounds will flatten your stomach. But do what you want

[–]InterNetting 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He speaks the truth. I've lost more belly fat by squatting heavy than anything else

[–]Urishima 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I'm a naturally skinnier manlet.

Maybe go bulk instead, if that is the case.

[–]vwzwv 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Been trying to go from 116 to 110. Despite cardio every day and caloric deficit. Yes I'm a naturally skinnier manlet.

Sounds like you are being an extremist towards a poorly chosen fetish. Perhaps eat clean and lift for 3-6 months before looking back? Then when you cut you will probably get what you were thinking.

[–]officerkondo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Obviously, your deficit is not big enough. Check out Lyle McDonald's Rapid Fat Loss.

[–]BinaryResult -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Reduce carbs -> reduced insulin response -> weight loss. For advanced mode tie in intermittent fasting or even water only fasting.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

That's one red pill I swallowed long ago. People can't stand a man improving his life; they'd rather have me sedated by digital entertainment, porn and drugs.

[–]BenGrowinGreens 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I feel like a lot of it is subconscious. From what I read it seems like women are the most heinous culprits of your shit testing. Besides the situation with your friend and McDonald's, those situations all seem like negging situations. They're complimenting you but slighting you at the same time. It's like they're trying to reaffirm that you're still not shit whilst also recognizing that you are existing on a spectrum of improvement. This is threatening to the status quo of others and to the superiority that they cling to by at least being "better than fat people." They're not improving their position in life. You are. Subconsciously they want to keep you down. If they do then they will not be forced to look at the aspects of themselves they wish to improve.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Crabs in a bucket mentality at it's finest. I have always been in shape and never been fat and I still get shit tests from people. Whether it be about going to a fast food place, or saying I have "glamour muscles."

Honestly, those type of people are pathetic.

[–]Joel928 19 points20 points  (1 child)

It gets better - when you keep it off (even for yeeears) people will get a sick pleasure of talking about you being fat. Especially your family. At Christmas.

I lost 50 lbs 27 years ago, and I've been slaying 8/9's for 15 years.

Every obese relative of mine in a loveless marriage loves to talk about my former weight (decades ago) when I bring another half-my-age stunner to the holiday dinner table.

I could go into all the Red Pill why's - but you know why.

Just - fuck them.

[–]yomo86 10 points11 points  (0 children)

If they can't get to your level, they will try to pull you down to their level.

[–]Zebub343 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Bro stay strong, pretty much when you start improving and people will get jealous(mostly the ones that knew you before improvement)

Case 1: The girl: A cunt that tried to make herself feel better by making you feel bad, tried to play your insecurities. She hates herself no doubt.

Case 2: The dude after hiking: You din't mention if he was overweight or selfcouncious but he just did not want to feel bad for eating garbage and unhealthy shit so he wanted to force you in to eat with him. (The whole I really want desert but I don't want to feel bad so I make the rest of the table eat desert scenario )

Case 3:Your mom as long as she does not shame your for losing weight is fine, She was just worried and used the incorrect words to express it. (Even though she does not have to be worried). Some Moms are like this.

Props to you for sticking to your values and losing weight. Keep up the self-improvement bro.

[–]Zebub343 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Another tip is to surround yourself with people who are persuing their goals and improving ( a gym bro would be goal friend).

[–]Urishima 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Shoot the shit with some of the regulars in between sets. Asking someone to spot for you or share the bench/rack/whatever if you are both doing the same thing (you do a set, he does a set, etc.) is a good way to become familiar with them.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Make sure that in addition to improving, you're also making a habit of shutting the hell up about it.

Don't talk about your dieting, fitness, or nutrition. Don't bring it up. Don't let others see or know how hard you're working. If someone comments about your changed appearance, just politely and vaguely agree then move on (e.g., "you've lost weight!" "I guess so. How's work going?)

The idea is to look natural and nonchalant. Like being fit and good looking and successful is just a natural part of who you are and what you are like.

When people know you're working hard, they treat all of your success like it's just an act you're putting on. So conceal your hard work, shut up about it, and act like you were just born awesome. Like success is effortless and natural for you.

[–]Rudeyyyy 13 points14 points  (2 children)

First off, congrats dude. Way to grind it out and not give a shit.

2nd, once you get down to your preferred weight and start lifting, even more shit tests will come.

I'l use myself as an example. I'm 5'4 and was very lanky and skinny and when I found TRP I realized I needed to lift so I started doing just that. 3 months in I'm taking protein shakes and changing my diet accordingly and my own family members are shit testing me.

"Why are you doing that to yourself? You're fine the way you are." - says my overweight father who thinks taking multiple naps in the middle of the day and eats like garbage but is to lazy to do anything about it.

"Ew why are you lifting? You're going to look like a freak. It's not healthy to get big." - says my mother who smokes.

"Honestly I don't know why you're hitting the gym. Guess it must be to make up for your height because you're short and have Napoleon complex." - says the fat bitch who I work with who is constantly complaining about her relationship problems and how she's never had a guy and how all men are shit yet it has nothing to do with her because that's completely absurd and idiotic.

See what i'm getting at? You're experiencing the losing weight shit tests and once you start lifting and putting on muscle you're going to get those shit tests as well. They don't stop. It's a good thing.

I see it as you're bettering yourself and these people are lazy and want to change and look better but they're lazy and decide not to do anything about it and when they see someone who they thought was lower on the totem pole finally turning their life around they get their panties in a twist and make insults to feel better about themselves.

Keep doing you OP. Lose weight and then put on the muscle and pass those shit tests with ease. People who make crude comments are only jealous of you. Most people now a days are ok with being a piece of shit. Fuck em. Turn yourself into the top 20% and see how fast your chances of getting laid increase.

[–]The-os2 3 points4 points  (1 child)

"Why are you doing that to yourself? You're fine the way you are." - says my overweight father who thinks taking multiple naps in the middle of the day and eats like garbage but is to lazy to do anything about it.

I've had comparable comments. But I realised that I could wave them away with the fact that he is closing in on retirement. He already has a family he doesn't need to do anything anymore. I am (and you are) at the front step of life.

Use the comments as motivation to continue. But crush those like the hard hitting comments.

[–]Rudeyyyy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah but if for some reason I am married. I'm not going to do that to my wife. Become fat and lazy. No, I'm gonna still at least be fit. Keep my SMV high so she isn't running around with Chad. Plus why risk having problems at only 50 years old? Just stay fit. You'll appear more to women too.

[–]HansZarkov 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I've had a similar experience. In the past six months I've lost almost 30 pounds on the ketogenic diet.

I've gotten a lot of compliments but also a lot of bullshit for it. It usually comes as concern trolling. I can't tell you how many fat ugly fucks tell me they're concerned that my diet is unhealthy while they're sucking down Mountain Dew like it's their job.

They're scared and jealous that you've been motivated enough to cause that improvement in your life that they aren't.

Keep up the good work brother.

[–]SideWindStoic 10 points11 points  (7 children)

Congratz on your weight-losing journey man, keep it up! I was wondering what you have done with your diet? What does your breakfast, lunch and dinner look like now? I'm not overweight but nonetheless pretty self-conscious about my body and constantly trying to improve my overall food-intake. Do you have any tips on eating healthy that you find work well for you? Or what to do when you start feeling hungry, knowingly it's not a good idea to eat at that moment. Thanks in advance!

[–]OlanValesco 13 points14 points  (4 children)

Some principles that can help:

  • Psychological Component: Your diet needs to not only be physically, but psychologically maintainable. If no diet is psychologically maintainable, you are weak.

  • Calorie Economy: You will only lose weight if you're consuming less than you're burning. There are loads of calculators online to estimate how much you burn a day.

  • Law of Averages: Number trends are important, while individual measurements are not. Track your numbers (weight and waist in specific) under the same conditions each day and compare weekly averages. If your weekly average hasn't changed in one week, that's nothing to sweat. If it hasn't changed in two weeks, it's time to change something in your program (i.e. eat less).

  • Macronutrients: Carbs, protein, fat. None of these are inherently evil, as much as some sources will have you believe. That being said, proteins have the highest satiety effect, meaning you'll feel slightly fuller by consuming higher protein. They also have a higher thermal effect of feeding (TEF), which means that they takes more energy to process. So if you consume 150g protein in a day, your body will burn ~100 extra calories just to process that. Slightly lower fat is good simply because fat is 2.25 times as energy dense as either carbs or protein. However, if you go too low fat it can mess with your hormones.

  • Track Yo Nutrients: Weigh and record everything you eat. That way, you know exactly how much you're hitting/missing your goals by. (Note: This can drive some people insane. As long as you're not of that mental disposition, I suggest tracking.) People often under report calories if asked to do so after the fact because they selectively remember the times that they were hungry instead of the times they stuffed their faces (hardgainers do the opposite).

  • Solid Advice: Try and only consume solid foods. Drinkable calories won't fill you up as much, and you'll be hungrier. Along with that, if you prioritize calorie-dense foods (things high in fat and sugar), you will be hungrier.

  • Time Tables: The only time table that matters is yours. It doesn't matter that you saw some guy on the internet drop 50 pounds in 20 weeks. You're not him. If it takes you 40 weeks to lose the exact same, guess what: you're nowhere near as fat as you were 40 weeks before. You're not going to stop working just because there exist other people who make more money than you do.

  • Devil's In The Details: I personally give myself a macronutrient profile for each day (today it was 265 C, 185 P, 55 F), then record the numbers of each food item as I eat what I want. Other people might find that tedious, and they'd prefer to figure out every meal the day before, or figure out all the meals they're going to eat for the week on Sunday. Do what works for you, but have a plan.

  • Feeding Window: One thing that really helps me is intermittent fasting. A typical split looks like 8 feeding hours and 16 fasting hours in a day. I personally do like 1-4 feeding hours because I'm a pig who eats all his calories in one meal. There are a dozen benefits to this, but specifically in response to what you said, it prevents me from snacking or having random meals that break my diet. I just say, nope, I've already eaten all my calories today. I don't have to worry about whether a snack is sending me over or not.

  • Lift: Lift.

There are a bazillion other things that could be said. These are some principles that have helped me. I'm getting to that stage in my cut where I'm starting to get a couple veins on my abs, so that's pretty exciting.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Totally agree, also would add drink water. 35 mililiter for 1 kg body mass. It helps speeding up your metabolism

[–]Urishima 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Track Yo Nutrients: Weigh and record everything you eat. That way, you know exactly how much you're hitting/missing your goals by. (Note: This can drive some people insane. As long as you're not of that mental disposition, I suggest tracking.) People often under report calories if asked to do so after the fact because they selectively remember the times that they were hungry instead of the times they stuffed their faces (hardgainers do the opposite).

Use sites like myfitnesspal for that, it'll make it a lot easier. You can create recipes on the site where you enter the ingredients of a dish and the amount of servings you get out of it all and you'll know exactly what kinds of nutrients you get out of that chicken alfredo you just whipped up.

[–]nickm205 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd add to "Solid Advice", fiber. Fiber is critical to feeling full and satiated. 20 to 30 grams per day can really help.

[–]SideWindStoic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for all the advice, definitely some stuff in there that will help me out. I definitely should be less of a bitch when it comes to giving in to the urge and just say no. Also the info about protein and fats is an eye-opener. Thanks again.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Thanks, breakfast when I feel like making it is almost always some form of Eggs, I used to have toast with them but bread is high in carbs and I decided to cut bread completely out of my diet for the time being. I almost always skip lunch these days since I consider that my intermittent fasting time and then for dinner I will normally have chicken breast with the vegetables of my choice normally being broccoli, tomato, lettuce, beetroot, carrots, Cauliflower etc all super good foods and you should eat them whether you're trying to lose weight or not. I actually have gotten into a rhythm where when I start feeling hungry I drink tons of water and go for a 1 mile jog I really love that type of stuff because it makes me feel like I'm winning the battle even more "Oh you're trying to trick me into eating?? Ok I'm gonna go burn some more calories and drink water just to piss you off" Water and vegetables man, this is the winning combo. Try not to snack and if you do at least make sure it's something healthy and not a bag of chips. Also another trick my friend taught me was sculling water before a meal to make you super full.

[–]SideWindStoic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Drinking water definitely helps a lot. Have a gallon with me all day every day. Thanks for your advice, definitely going to use it.

[–]jupiter6666 9 points10 points  (0 children)

"Haha wow you have lost some weight since school, though I'm not surprised, most people who hate themselves lose weight"

HAHAHAHAHA I would have laughed in that bitches face and walked away. She's projecting.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Classic crab-bucket mentality. It's fine when you're not better than whoever is making those comments. Whenever they feel threatened or feel like you're surpassing them they will try to bring you back down

[–]moipersoin 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You should embrace these shit tests. They reveal your true friends, and you get to unload all the useless people that clearly don't care for you.

[–]Desadarius 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Most people are mentally weak, and recognizing others' successes brings out their own insecurities and faults.

In essence, they are mad at you for improving while they have remained the same.

Personally, I've learned to take these insults as compliments, as it proves I am improving enough for others to take notice.

[–]FrgElder points points [recovered]

I've never liked the term "shit test", because it's a slang oversimplification. What they really are is congruency tests. They are subtle social challenges issued to you to check if your apparent value is congruent with your true value. I find simply framing it that way in your mind makes them a lot easier to deal with, because there is a positive implication to the term. People aren't just giving you shit for no reason or because they're ass holes, they are testing your value because they see value to test in the first place. If you're a fat fuck with no social skills and no value, you'll never get shit tested, you'll just get outright rejected. Getting shit-tested means you're at least a competitor in the game.

You'll find congruency tests will be most evident whenever you try to improve some aspect of yourself or your personality. There's two reasons for this. The first is to tie in with the above, you are displaying a higher value and are simply not used to the amount of shit-tests that higher value males have to deal with on a daily basis. When you go from an environment of zero shit-testing to an average amount of shit-testing, it seems excessive. Once you develop a solid frame and have experience dealing with shit-tests, it won't seem like a big deal at all, it's just part of the process.

The second reason you'll experience more shit-testing when attempting to improve yourself is people like to keep others in comfortable little boxes that define their personalities. When you try to break out of your defined box/parameters that they have arbitrarily assigned you, you upset the consistency and comfort of their worldview. This gives them feelings of jealously, self-doubt, and anxiety, which they will redirect at you in order to attempt to get you to stay within your defined set of parameters. You may lose some friends or family along the way, but with solid frame and experience in this it won't bother you anymore.

[–]FUCK_YEA_GLITTER 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This, OP. Saved for future reference.

[–]mcavvacm 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm always so surprised to see these kind of posts. My friends and family were very supportive and some even joined me losing weight.

[–]420PussyEater 6 points7 points  (0 children)

As someone that has lost a lot of weight, I was 220 now I'm 160, I recommend you treat yourself to nice clothes that fit well. You have a new body and there is no shame in showing it. I personally prefer thrift stores for the simple reason you can walk out with 5 things for $15 instead of normal stores where it's $50 for one thing. Show you the love you need/want/deserve.

[–]SilverGryphon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They are jealous of your determination and resolve. And that useless cum dumpster who said you hate yourself is most likely an insecure bitch who hates herself more than you or anyone else can ever hate her. She's just projecting her fucked up mind onto others. People do that all the time.

[–]iwasbornred 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They just want to put you in the weak minded fatty box. Smash the fucking box and put them in your own "useless fucking energy leech" box

So many different things we deal with daily are things that shouldn't be dealt with any way other than cutting off the person at fault, but we rarely do that because we don't want to lose people that we have assigned(usually arbitrarily or often for sexual reasons) value to.

[–]beginner_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"Haha wow you have lost some weight since school, though I'm not surprised, most people who hate themselves lose weight"

You must love yourself a lot then.

That should shut her up.

On the main topic: The people that say these thing usually are fat themselves. You are shoving it in their face that they are lazy, fat fucks and it's "easy" to not be. You are destroying their cognitive dissonance (it's fine to be fat and can't do anything about it anyway) and hence they react with negativity.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't call these shit tests. Certainly your mother isn't giving you a shit test. A shit test is more subtle, when a girl who is otherwise attracted/interested is trying to probe you to figure out if you're alpha or not. A shit test would be "Hey, would you take a day off of exercising to come to the mall with me and hold my bag while I try on clothes?"

Calling what this girl said a shit test is like calling "I hope you die in a fire you ugly bitch" a neg.

[–]grandaddychimp 3 points4 points  (6 children)

"Haha wow you have lost some weight since school, though I'm not surprised, most people who hate themselves lose weight"

Is she fat?

[–]cherryCanSuckMyDick 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Id be willing to bet shes skinny-fat. Might have a weight that looks good on a BMI chart, but running for a bus leaves her winded for half an hour.

So many pathetic thots like that around here.

[–]grandaddychimp 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Is there really such thing as a skinny-fat girl though? I thought that just applied to men who have almost overweight BMI and zero muscle

[–]cherryCanSuckMyDick 0 points1 point  (2 children)

AFAIK its an issue for both genders, just refers to the kind of person who is in an acceptable-to-good range for weight, BMI, and BFP, but they have far less muscle mass than the BMI & BFP models assume they should, and in place of that muscle mass theres just fat.

From what Ive seen, that describes probably at least 40-60% of all of the "hot" women in North America.

[–]grandaddychimp 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I must admit, I do think a woman who is slightly toned is more attractive. But I highly doubt an untoned woman with a healthy BF% is as unattractive to men as a skinny fat guy with zero muscle is to women.

[–]cherryCanSuckMyDick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly I think a woman who has no muscle tone is still as pathetic as a landwhale. For a woman to be attractive to me I expect her to display traits that indicate genetic & behavioural fitness. One of those traits is the ability to maintain your body properly, not just fake the appearance of maintaining it properly.

[–]NakedAndBehindYou points points [recovered]

These are not shit tests. You, like many new TRP subscribers, are using the term wrong.

A shit test is a test that a woman gives a man that she secretly wants him to pass in order to prove his masculinity.

The negative comments you are describing are not shit tests, they are just negative people resisting your change for whatever reason. It's a common thing that happens.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep. These people don't want him to get ahead because they viewed themselves as superior or a notch above. Now that he's making moves they feel a notch below and instead of the rational thinking mind making sense of it and saying "hey you can do it too." The ego steps in does what it can to protect their weak minds.

It's a form of jealousy. And jealousy is just unrealized potential.

[–]abstractplebbit 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Okay bro so you're logic is completely correct, but bloopies are gonna bloop. There is no reason to get so butthurt about it. If you just realize that people like that are retarded faggots, then it should be easy to not take them seriously.

You should feel good about losing weight but feeling good means not being insecure about that kind of bullshit from people. You'll have to deal with a lot of shit tests in life but letting your emotions react for you is just going to cause you to fail that particular test

[–]epixs 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I went from obese to competitive bodybuilder years ago and to this day I don't tell people about my old self. People want to naturally believe you're just genetically gifted. My advice to you is this, once you reach your goal weight-don't ever tell anyone you used to be fat. Let them believe you were gifted and naturally talented, its fits their narrative better and makes your achievements look effortless (another law from green's book).

[–]HeadphoneSpaghetti 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I remember the one time when I got obese and decided to loose all that fat. At some point during the process I went back to my hometown for a month. I rented my own place, so that I don't have to stay with my parents. I went to visit my mother and gave her a heads up "I'm losing weight, please don't bake or cook anything".

I arrive and she tells me she baked my favourite cake, and reminds me that nobody else in the family likes it. I told her I wouldn't touch it but no harm done. We chill in the living room and she gets up, brings a slice of the cake and puts it right in front of me. 10 seconds later the plate together with the cake is flying out the window (she lives on the 5th floor, overlooking a big lawn, no people or cars below). The message got across.

[–]BigMawsmidget 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't stop laughing at that last part lol.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

awww poor mom just wanted you to experience what she does best bake a cake. She wanted you to be happy. lol It seemed more about symbolism and what the cake meant to her

[–]2comment 2 points3 points  (0 children)

On the flip side, the people who are genuinely happy for you and support you as you're on your way are worth hanging onto. They're rarer, but exist.

[–]ACE-JHN 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The mom comment is the toughest. Others can fuck themselves

[–]casemodsalt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow people suck. Hope you slap that bitch next time you see her whore face

[–]BigMawsmidget 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Someone may have said this already, but if you don't have haters you're doing it wrong. Also the girl is right to an extent I did kind of hate myself for getting that big, but still even as I get smaller (currently down over to 200 pounds) I never forget what it was like the shit tests are real.

[–]valhallaseven7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude that's fucking awesome. Good for you. I'm only about 10 pounds overweight and have yet to man up enough to take care of it. You've inspired me bro. Don't let people bring you down.

[–]5t3fan0 2 points3 points  (2 children)

though I'm not surprised, most people who hate themselves lose weight

holy shit! Im curious to know if you gave an answer or just ignored her.

The best reply to a coworker/parent imho is some bullshit like "really? i just cut some booze/icecream and go for a small run twice a week" this is clearly bullshit to one who really diet and lifts, but others will eat it up and be satisfied with it, since its not a great display of work or discipline

Also congratulations on your improvment, let the jealousy and hate of those crabs be fuel for even more future gainz!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I just rolled my eyes and shook my head at her, no real point in giving someone like that a verbal reaction, they thrive on drama.

[–]5t3fan0 2 points3 points  (0 children)

well done, that the best option!

i'd probably roasted her on the spot, losing frame, giving her what she wanted and losing the shit test

[–]S3542U 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ok. I just want to ask something. To all of you. Some of you say "my friend did this" or "my friend said (behind my back) that", referring to something bad.

I just wonder: what kind of crap relationships/friendships do you have? I would just dump those "friends".

Or are they "friends" as in a/an connection/acquaintance you might need help from one day (might need to exploit?)?

Sorry if I sound rude; it's a genuine question. Socializing has always been my weakness so I just wonder how you can call those people "friends".

[–]TattedGuyser 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I feel you, I started to lose weight and gain strength and I've been getting it from every angle for the last year:

  • Strangers trying to mock me "I didn't think such a small town had steroid users"
  • Other gym participants accusing me of steroids
  • Family accusing me using and how I'm gonna hurt myself for losing so much weight
  • ex-friends telling me that I shouldn't get too bulky, women don't like that

On the plus side it was really easy to cut all these people from my life and to never look back. My current friends are awesome and we encourage each other to push harder and harder. And my woman is great, she loves the amount of mass I'm packing on.

The best detox is the one where you remove these poisonous shit-heads from your life.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Shouldn't get too bulky, women don't like that"

That is a hilarious statement.

[–]Jc73195 1 point2 points  (0 children)

[–]Endorsed Contributormallardcove 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wait until you become lean.

I am not ripped but still at 10% body fat for the summer and have a nice lean physique. With clothes on though no one can really tell, they just think I am skinny. I get shit all the time about my eating habits.

[–]ValhallaShores 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Moral of the story is fuck these idiots"

Yup. Congrats, though. Keep at it!

[–]Scriptopeia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know from experience what you mean, but I actually never realized that this "actively" happened to me because when I lost weight (80kg/176pounds) to around (60kg/132pounds) I was quite young, 17 years old to be exact.

Almost everyone in my family is overweight and a lot of them obese. When I lost my weight I got tons of comments from my family, especially my grandma, who still to this day says I should eat a little bit more. I do agree that I lost "too much" first, but that was just something normal. Now I weight more and even grew some muscles at around 70kg(155pounds) - btw I am 5'9

After all I basically only got compliments from people outside my family... asking me what I changed and the reasons behind it etc.

[–]disposable_pants 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Moral of the story is fuck these idiots, there are people out there that truly dislike seeing another person better themselves and you know why?? Because they like being better than you.

It's not that they like being better than you -- it's that they dislike being clearly inferior. They dislike knowing a living, breathing example of someone who has the motivation and discipline they wish they had.

[–]asymptotic_salvation 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We live in a world of hierarchies: in our workplaces, schools, gyms.. in our homes.
When you start improving your lot in a way that increases your position in a given hierarchy, people will naturally feel threatened and will let you know about it.

Moral of the story is to use these shit tests as indicators of social progress.

And just incase no one's said it yet: now's the time to start lifting.

[–]yomo86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A tip from someone who had his fair amount of appearance based shit test. Oh honey (pumpkin, buttercup etc.) you are just a girls/woman you don't understand. This is my fallback option. Treat them like kids. A kind of canned default amused mastery when silence is not appropriate.

[–]j33tAy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great post. Most other commented and hit the nail on the head. It's the crab bucket mentality.

Great job on your progress, brother. There are plenty of people who are also proud of your accomplishments, including this group of internet randoms.

[–]greatslyfer 1 point2 points  (1 child)

"Haha wow you have lost some weight since school, though I'm not surprised, most people who hate themselves lose weight"

Who the FUCK says that? Holy, I don't know how they can even say that without feeling shitty, wtf.

[–]Fir3start3r 0 points1 point  (0 children)

...these are the kind of people I'm cordial to (I don't want to be the one looking like a dick here - their own words say enough about them to anyone with half a brain), but otherwise keep across the room from me and certainly don't seek to engage conversation with...

[–]HeyN0ngMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. Relax.

  2. Surround yourself with better people.

  3. Who gives a fuck what they say, you're losing weight, you feel good. That's all that matters.

[–]CoachToughLove 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great post and keep up the mental fortitude!

Because they like being better than you.

And they don't like feeling inferior deep down.

The real question is this, do they know what they're doing or is it all subconscious??

We are compelled by our subconscious desires/emotions. Some of us just have better filters and a better understanding than others ;)

jealousy/envy is a disease.

Yep. The more jealousy, the more insecurity.

You're better than them for maintaining your frame. Keep it up!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Keep up the good work. You're awesome bro.

[–]breakingbadrule points points [recovered]

Hey bud, I know I'm late to the party, but just wanted to let you know how much I can relate to you. I was the kind of guy before that used to eat out with friends despite having fitness goals. Sugary drinks, junk food, ou name it. And when I finally realize that I can't have both, so i decided to stand up for myself. I tld them that I will go out with them, but will only eat what my diet allows me.Which means cutting sugar and limiting m calories from other sources. And these so-called 'friends ' of mine are angry at me because I don't drink sugary soda with them! I stand my ground and it drives them mad. Their excuse is that I am not one with the group and I am just ruining the mood. The old me would have caved into social pressure and eaten away. But I have learned to say no and that is the most liberating feeling ever.

glad that I am not the only one facing this. anyways, thanks for sharing your story. I hope you achieve success in your goals

[–]airmcnair06 0 points1 point  (1 child)

As someone who has dropped all friends because they all tried this shit on me too many times....

I commend you for staying strong brother. But you'll be better off when you find new friends.... Its a lot easier than trying to fit into that box that old friends have you in....

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

rule #1 never outshine the master

[–]mydatingbible 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's incredible I would have put that bitch in her place, and as for your friend that is also incredible that he was trying to get you to eat that shit after knowing you're trying to better yourself.

You carry on brother, get ripped and really rub that shit in their faces.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I go to college (art) and I've grown tremendously up tot the point you can tell I'm capable of landing a real job, I've also gained a lot of muscle and am learning about a lot of other stuff in general, started dressing better, etc..

They're going to fail me because "I'm going backward" because literaty I'm not just splattering paint on a canvas like a retard/ outshining my teachers.

[–]Pilsu[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You aren't going to go far in the world if you don't figure out how to handle stupid fuckers who just so happen to be the gatekeepers of what is going to be your wealth. Get to it.

[–]Inexperiencedblaster 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Question is, you peeled yet?

[–]Barvazon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Be happy about it.

Crab mentality from your peers and shit test from women is exactly what you get when you are on the right path.

[–]TehJimmyy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her: Haha wow you have lost some weight since school, though I'm not surprised, most people who hate themselves lose weight"

You : Then you should try it too.

I told him I will even go in with him and he can eat and I'll sit with him but that wasn't good enough

No man that wouldnt be good for your mental health even if you didnt eat. If he doesnt understand no next.

[–]The_Godfather_MOD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Keep going, you are doing it for yourself. You are not renouncing something but instead you are enhancing yourself. Act with this in mind and they will get it.

[–]skydragonwhore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm working on it myself. Do what you need to do to get healthy. At least you are working for your weight loss and not bragging about surgery.

[–]DeathToTheZog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People get vindictive as hell. Man, congratulations on shedding the weight. I'm having my own journey, and just like you, I have become bombarded by blatant shit tests.

Stay strong. Use it as fuel. Fuck these crabs, we getting out this damn bucket.

[–]rorrr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need better friends. The people you've described are not.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People are shit. Keep them all at arm's length.

[–]OLeZzZ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On your way to greatness you will meet people which not only will not shit test you but boost you with confidence.

P.s. English is not my mother language

[–]Urishima 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't let them swole-shame you, brother!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First off, congrats on making concete steps towards a better life

These are not exactly shit tests that you describe ( although you can defeat them with similar tactics) A shit test is a probe to see what you are made of and generally people are pleased when one passes the shit test.

You are seeing something more insidious. Your success is causing others to look at their own failures and its making them feel bad. They are actively trying to derail your progress so they no longer need to face the fact that they dont have whar it takes to make similar positive changes.

TRP preaches self validation for a reason so learn to ignore the haters and power through your life any way you want

You can employ the same anti shit test tactics with great success. Agree and Amplify and grin your way to low body fat

All the best and keep up the good work bro.

There is nothing like being lean. Clothes fit great, women smile and touch you and haters be hating while eating their ce cream sanwiches.

[–]chambertlo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fat people are miserable and they can't stand to see anyone making the sincere effort to lose weight and be healthy. There is no such thing as fat and fit, it is a myth perpetuated by the lazy and shiftless, and people will seriously rather see you sloppy and overweight than happy and healthy. It's unfortunate, but this " happy at any size" mentality has really ruined our culture, deluding people into thinking that their unhealthy lifestyle should be celebrated. Not with this mother fucker. I will continue to call out fat people for the lazy, complement, delusional people they are, and I will continue to focus on my fitness.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Take all the of hate and embrace it. It's your signal that you're on the right path. I love haters. It makes me feel good, makes me smile like I'm watching puppy videos. Let that shit wash over you and make you more motivated.

Seriously, haters are the best.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To quote the great CM Punk

“Haters are my favourite. I've built an empire with the bricks they've thrown at me. Keep on hating...”

[–]Avskygod0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unironically eating at McDonald's, that's pretty much instant remove tier

[–]theamazingswayze 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congrats man, 44 lbs in 6 months is a lot.

Fuck these morons. They're going to be old and out of shape anyways. Karma.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seems like you've got it. People will always try to bring you back to their level. Keep doing your thing.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is why I grew up with no friends and to this day it's hard for me to make new ones.

Everyone has shit to say about something.

[–]BadNerfAgent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Either way when I was fat and doing nothing about it I did nothing but encourage my friend on his weight loss journey

That's why you are strong enough to better yourself. If you took the blue pill, you'd be content in bringing others down, yourself included.

[–]smk1987 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fatties hate nothing more than skinny people, fatties losing weight is second on their list.

[–]1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Moral of the story is fuck these idiots,

Yes. As you better yourself, you will need to surround yourself with better people. You will need to make new friends, who accept, and\or commit to the same lifestyle as you.

The real question is this, do they know what they're doing or is it all subconscious??

Does it matter? Either way, they are who they are.

jealousy/envy is a disease.

yes, yes it is...

[–]vorverk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait till you get big and below 12% body fat.

Shit tests turn in to IOIs, respect and admire. There are always haters, but they become invisible...

[–]curveball21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know OP it's hard to say because I didn't have a firsthand view of the situations but you might be viewing your most recent experiences a bit harshly.

  1. Is it possible girl was clumsily trying to imply that you must have hated yourself in the past when you were fat and must have now begun to figure it out?

  2. Yeah at McDonald's your friend was kind of a douche. But so were you. There are healthy items on the menu that even a rigid dieter can fit in in order to socialize and eat with friends. Your friend was not so mad at you refusing to pound some super-sized macs and fries as he probably was uncomfortable with your dumb idea that he would enjoy sitting there with you silently judging him while he did it.

  3. Your mom just wanted some reassurance that you are in fact ok. She probably thinks you are ok but just wants to hear it from you.

Think about it. Not everything is an attack, but it is if you decide it is. Don't go looking for ways to make yourself unhappy, you are doing great! Enjoy it!

[–]BestSC86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you have a couple of different things going on...

Obviously the "friends" are just pieces of crap who should be jettisoned at the first opportunity.

But I wouldn't put the question from your mother in the same category exactly, it would only be natural for someone to sort of worry about such after a drastic weight loss in a short time...it seems to me to be more an attempt to ease her concern about a possible illness.

I had a couple of I know compassionate older ladies and gentlemen who asked this question to ensure that the changes I was going thru were not because of some illness before praising my efforts back in the day. For them, it was to make sure that they didn't start raving about how great my changes were only to find out that it was because of cancer or some other terminal illness.

For the other two...they are just crud and you have to realize it is entirely 'sour grapes'.

[–]fastnail1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Read the Slight edge by Jeff Olsen.

He explains the little steps.

[–]SovereignSoul76 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Practice chuckling and giving a half crooked smile. If they can't get you to fail, they want an emotional response out of you. Practice a face that says: "Yeah, I'd expect you to say something stupid like that." You've heard of "Don't feed the trolls", well don't feed the haters neither.

[–]TRPmmm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brah, this will only continue until you are jacked. Women are only doing it because they are attributing alpha status to you and want to know if they can put you down.

[–]SgtSplacker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Food for some reason is like that, some people do seemingly want to force you to eat certain things. I just got used to ordering salads. I don't eat McDonalds also but if someone insists I go in there I just get a salad. Part of me just wants to stay away from the chain altogether.

[–]dankmemes4eva23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes concern from parents can come off as harmful, so keep family close, but fuck those other people.

[–]memelord2022 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah man they are all probably right, you're simply anorectic. It is obvious from your post.

[–]KumonRoguing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk your situation, but I lived at home when I lost my weight. My mother got to the point of taking me to the doctor she said there's no way I was losing the weight naturally.

[–]Lsegundo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my friend insisted I eat at McDonald's on the way back from camping...

Just lie and say their food upsets your stomach now. Only a complete asshole will try to get you to eat food that makes you feel ill.

When I put this idea forth someone always comments just be a man and say no then stand your ground. Why bother dealing with their harassment? Be a little machiavellian, tell the lie, and dont waste your energy arguing with losers that have no self control. I am perfectly capable of telling someone to STFU when they are harassing me. it isn't a great use of my energy though.

[–]Shakydrummer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congrats on the weight loss dude. I what you mean. I quit drinking for weight/depression issues but in the first while I'd usually get 'You're still dry?' Thankfully though my friends are actually solid as fuck and support my decisions, so they don't care if I drink a soda water or something if we go out. Helps a lot when your buddies are chill.

[–]Kwantuum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

god you have lost some weight, are you ill or something?

That's actually a very valid question actually, a large weight loss can be associated with cancer and gastrointestinal pathologies. If someone is losing weight without working out and watching what they eat, you should worry. In this case though, I suppose she was fully aware you were working for this so it's really just a stupid question.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Haha wow you have lost some weight since school, though I'm not surprised, most people who hate themselves lose weight"

Projection.

he wanted me to eat a massive meal with him

Crabs in a bucket.

" god you have lost some weight, are you ill or something??

Most people lack the will power to lose weight - if you succeed it puts pressure on them. You're raising the bar, and they HATE it.

I lost a chunk of weight... and I have received ZERO shit about it. The best has been "you're looking fucking awesome, you're really getting it together", the worst has only been "you can stop now".

I'm saying this all depends on you and depends on your friends. I suspect you went from fat to normal (which they're happy with as you join their ranks) and then carried on towards slimmer than them.... which they weren't fine with.

Good for you for sorting it out, women adore slim and ripped men and it's amazing how much instant respect you get from men too.

[–]SlyAM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unlike you, I have to work to put weight on. I have a crazy fast metabolism and before I started working out, eating better, etc, I was just under 115 pounds. Fast-forward from then (5-6 months ago) to now, I am just reaching 150. Most of the weight I've put on has been in muscle but I have received some crazy shit tests, mostly from family.

An Aunt (over 50, over-weight, married, six kids, a husband with no interest in her anymore, etc) who came to celebrate my graduation with the rest of my family basically told me that I shouldn't worry about getting big and just love my body how it is. She went on to tell me how I should stop going to the gym and just except me for me, even if it meant I'd go back to looking like a holocaust survivor. I was laughing inside.

Lot's of my friends, family, and co-workers have all supported me in bettering myself, and everyone has noticed the improvements, but there are always those few who would rather me go back to how I was instead of better myself. I think it's because they're jealous of my improvement, and it makes them feel bad about themselves.

I'm happy you're losing weight though, don't forget to turn that fat into muscle at some point. It's crazy how much female attention I've received since I started buffing up.

[–]Mithra9009 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think in the case of the girl, I think she was just projecting i.e. the only reason why she would lose weight is out of self-hate. She sees weight loss through the lens of the anorexic. Either that or her whole understanding of weight loss is coming from anorexic people (which makes sense. Why would a normal person be exposed to a severely obese person that is also in the process of weight loss?).

[–]byers18901 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is just an anecdote. But keep it in mind.

I have a friend of a friend who lost 45 pounds over the course of one month I want to say.

Guess what? The dude has cancer. Luckily the prognosis is good though.

So OP, if you never mentioned your desire to lose weight to your Mom, she's totally right to make sure you aren't ill. You could have had a tapeworm, cancer, or gotten on the cocaine diet.

Obviously if you did tell her and she is just being willfully ignorant just ignore the bs.

Ignore the haters and remember the positive comments.

Congrats by the way man. 40kgs is no small feat. Best of luck on reaching your target goal.

[–]filli1aj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since I've lost 35 pounds and packed on plenty of muscle I've heard all of these too, OP. People have accused me of it all, 'starving myself', just a 'phase', must be on 'gear'.

My biggest pitfall was that I tried to explain to people how I did it. I follow keto, but more importantly intermittent fasting and people just do not like that I am doing something different than what they were raised to believe is correct. I must be doing SOMETHING to 'cheat'. There's just no way this could 'work' forever. Sure I've lost weight but the way I did it was 'unhealthy'.

It boggles peoples mind that maybe, just maybe, I went and did extensive research that resulted in me getting very lean and extremely healthy. Had blood work and a pee sample done last week, and the doc said I just about couldn't have had healthier vitals. The lab results are the proof, and I'll take proof over opinions.

People still regularly ask me "why didn't you eat lunch" and I will say,

"because I don't eat lunch"

Whatever they reply with, I no longer try to defend myself or explain it.

The people who knew you as fat will never stop seeing you as a fat guy. No matter how successful you become they will wait for you to go back to 'normal'. But, after a while you will meet new people that never knew you as a fat dude. Now your just that ripped dude. No more shit tests, no more advice. It's great! Just keep doing what you're doing and don't fall back into the crab bucket.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Haha wow you have lost some weight since school, though I'm not surprised, most people who hate themselves lose weight

LOL, " Is that why you are anorexic?"

"You are fat" ( deadpan)

or , laugh in her face and walk away

[–]pbgswd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

also, your friends are not necessarily your friends....

[–]Gravityflexo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rhw McDonald's thing is probably because he didnt want to eat alone, i meam who would wamt to go into a restaurant and eat while thier friend sits thier judging them about the garbage food, as you called it, while they eat. The girl was just a bitch who aounds like shes tje one who hates herself. As for your mom, she sounds like she was just making sure you were alright and not sick. Sounds like you have become very sensetive about your wieght loss, you should apply aome idgaf what other people think logic and realize 3 backhanded comments in half a year really isnt shit

[–]atlantique16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Those aren't shit tests just piss poor people. Your best bet is to tell them to go fuck themselves and use it for motivation.

I'm happy to hear your improving.

[–]006rbc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have found going out to eat with anyone more of a nuisance. I usually always get criticism for sticking to a low carb life style, albeit the criticism comes from those who can't control their own weight. Even going to the gym brings criticism from those who haven't even set foot in one in about 10 years. Making these changes really opens your eyes to who you can trust. People don't like change. Surround yourself with only like minded people.

[–]Chemlab187 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see so many posts on TRP about how to hold frame and deal with shit tests, but only a few posts on how to avoid them in the first place.
I rarely if ever face such tests from friends, family, or my LTR. This is due to the fact that I am always behaving in a way that lets everyone around me know that I am the CAPTAIN OF MY SHIP!

What does the Captain of a ship do? Well he practices TRP tactics every moment of every single day:

Qualify your crew - just like with a plate, you are interviewing them and seeing where they fit.

Escalate - just like with a plate, you are developing chemistry/ selling your strategic mission

Task - just like with a plate, start small and give them ever increasing tasks to complete. (May require revisiting 1 & 2 as tasks get more demanding)

Scarcity - just like with a plate, create space so that they wonder what they are missing

Constructive criticism - just like with a plate, don't go Beta once the first task is complete. Give them feedback on what they could do better.

Improve yourself - Exercise your mind, body, and spirit

REPEAT AT EVERY INTERACTION and nobody is going to be giving you a "shit test" for fear of being corrected by the Captain!

[–]AllahHatesFags 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let it motivate you to hit the gym EVEN HARDER! When you get to your ideal level of fitness, whether it be just toned or swole as fuck, rub it in their fat fucking faces that you are better than they are before cutting them from your life; take a shit on the bucket of crabs. We really need to bring back fat-shaming.

[–]thecarryone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice thing to read, keep it up man and fuck them.

[–]vwzwv 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Make sure you get a few new sets of clothes that fit your new shape well. Others will see you as an improved version of yourself. If you wear your existing clothes that too big for you people will act like you look that way from a disease.

[–]Grimy_range points points [recovered]

That's true I definitely need new clothes, I have dropped two sizes so thanks for that, will grab some tomorrow.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you start getting haters you are doing something right.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well if you are on reddit, you do hate yourself, the bitch got your there!

[–]cherryCanSuckMyDick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had the same retarded conversation recently with my Mother; "oh, you need to stop losing weight, you're where you're supposed to be" (no, I just crossed the 19 BFP mark heading downwards, which is still not acceptable Mum).

It wouldnt be as ridiculous if she wasnt schooled as a freaking dietician. I know uni was years ago for her, but how can she actually be that ignorant of what a healthy body looks like?

[–]HydraDoad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Weak people exude jealousy and smut. They're afraid of being left behind - revealing their lazy and waspish innards. Supportive people will throw you some new tunes to work out to, ask about your 1RM's and maybe ask for help in their own journey.

The phrase 'cut the shit' applies.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

god you have lost some weight, are you ill or something?? Yes Mum I'm ill, I was so much healthier when I was 110 pounds overweight.

Say it out loud. Perfect way to respond to that shit.

[–]-Universe- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

6 months in I have experienced a shit test from my Mum this time claiming " god you have lost some weight, are you ill or something?? Yes Mum I'm ill, I was so much healthier when I was 110 pounds overweight.

That's wasn't a shit test. She was actually concerned. My mom did the same too. Losing too much weight can be a sign of something serious.

[–]arethoudeadyet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same here, even my mother has a comment about it and wants me to eat super high carb cakes with her. wtf.

[–]Insendi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

RE FUCKING TWEET!!

I'be lost about 60 pounds so far and the shit tests couldn't be anymore annoying. Usually I'll nex a chick doing that kinda shit cause it's an indicator of how'd they act as a plate but that's just me.

Side note, it feels ducking good. Used to barely fits Large, now medium is perfect.

[–]j3m4090 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I was once fat. Lost 100 pounds and now im just ugly.....People will never be happy so why care