To the young man I saw at the gym last night: (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by 2016redditor

I haven't seen you in here before. You seemed a bit unfamiliar with the environment, perhaps a bit uncomfortable. Your pale white skin and obvious lack of muscle tone confirms that impression. And your buddies were similarly soft. That's ok. Just learn to lift the right way and keep coming back.

I got the impression you have had your natural joy and self confidence hammered out of you by endless "socialization".

When our gaze happened to meet, you quickly averted your eyes and looked downward. There's no need for that. You have every right to be there too. I'm not there to challenge or intimidate you; I'm just getting a workout like everybody else. Relax and have fun, chat with the other members, it's good, friendly, low key gym.

You're a tall kid, well over 6 feet. But your hair is a sloppy mess - is that the fashion in your high school these days? Anyway, it makes you look weak and effeminate. The nerdy round tortoise shell glasses from the 1990's don't help any either. Can you afford contacts? Maybe save up a bit of money, get a side job.

You seem to have good facial structure, good basic build / bone structure, so with a few months of lifting, a good haircut, some decent clothes, and most important, steady confident eye contact and a bit of a smirk, you will be getting those cute little honeys flirting with you. Yes, those latina chicks in the yoga pants, I saw you eyeing them wistfully. They would totally get with a tall white boy like you, if you have just a bit of game and confidence.

I know it seems doubtful from where you are now. Just do the work. It will happen.

I hope I see you again soon. This time, look me in the eye, nod or say hi. I'll be happy to return the favor.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 559 points560 points  (112 children)

To anyone thinking about going to the gym, don't worry - most people don't give a fuck about anyone else and are just there to look at themselves.

If that's not enough to help get past the fear of judgement remember to compare yourself to people NOT at the gym, rather than those that are.

TL;DR: go to the gym for YOU, the rest is just noise.

[–][deleted] 140 points141 points  (52 children)

remember to compare yourself to people NOT at the gym, rather than those that are.

Good advice but it's impossible to follow. I'm bigger now than I've ever been but everyday at 5am I'm reminded that I'm forever small.

[–]Magnetosis 117 points118 points  (31 children)

You never get any bigger, everybody else just gets smaller.

[–]tuxedoburrito 45 points46 points  (25 children)

Haha I lift in the early mornings with all the body builders. I always feel so small, but I work hard. I lifted last night around 5pm and saw the usual night crowd: I never felt bigger in my life.

[–]madeaccfortrp 9 points10 points  (21 children)

Is there a reason they all lift in the morning?

[–]1RPAlternate42 32 points33 points  (19 children)

2 a days. Busy work. Habit. Like finds like.

[–]madeaccfortrp 32 points33 points  (17 children)

2 a days.

This largely explains it.

The reasons I've heard are peak testosterone in the morning and its great for lifestyle. Knowing you've taken care of lifting gives you a good foundation for the rest of your day.

[–]FriedHayek 5 points6 points  (13 children)

This explains why my friend started going at those hours.

[–]madeaccfortrp 22 points23 points  (12 children)

Honestly, that seems like the best approach to getting discipline. Wake up so early that you can complete every essential task you've deemed for yourself. If that means 3 hours early, so be it. Go to the gym, make all the meals you need for the day, meditate.

After you're done with work, your entire schedule is clear. There is no more anxiety or thinking about "whether you're actually going to go to the gym today".

That mental freedom combined with the fact that you've just spent 6-10 hours dedicated to improving yourself+your career results in you utilizing the rest of your time effectively too.

[–]1RPAlternate42 7 points8 points  (11 children)

I'm currently working on moving my gym time back a bit each week until I can do it first thing in the morning... before I have to deal with kids and shit.

For me, since my wife is out the door by 0715, I need to be home by then, which means I need to be at the gym by 0615, which means I need to leave by 6:00 which means I need to be up at 0500. I have a rough few weeks ahead. Because I go to the gym at 1500 right now. Fortunately, I work from home, so I have the flexibility for this.

The downside to mornings, for me, is I'm ready fro a nap by 1000.

[–]BENDERisGRREAT 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Is it true lifting in the morning as opposed to the afternoon gets your metabolism kickstarted as well?

[–]madeaccfortrp 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Inconclusive / Irrelevant. Any actual metabolic differences won't really matter. If morning lifting translates into better eating habits just due to logistics (you have less hours where you could potentially binge eat, you're more organized with your dieting habits, ect), that wouldn't be directly due to the exercise timing.

Lifting in the morning likely won't directly increase metabolism. Other factors might result in an overall increased metabolism.

Lifting in the morning --> Improved afternoon physical performance in a sport ---> Higher energy expenditure. That sort of thing.


[–]EnriqueShockwave9000 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I feel like I just got hit in the face with science. BRO SCIENCE 🔬

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (9 children)

I think most guys have a little bit of body dysmorphic disorder. They don't really have a good grasp of how other people perceive them, and tend to be over critical of their own body. From the skinny kid, trying to hide his "toothpick forearms" to the big guy frustrated that his calves are "grossly out of proportion", a lot of dudes are hating on themselves on things that nobody really notices but them.

Meanwhile, there's this thought that other people are judging them as well. Oh no! Someone might have saw that weak bench press! How embarrassing!

Reality is, nobody cares. In fact, it can be a little crazy how little people care. A good social experiment for anyone who doesn't have a good grasp of this, is to just wear something ridiculous in public. Go to a hardcore scary biker bar, in a light blue Hollister shirt, wear 2 different types of shoes, like a red tennis shoe and a black work boot, just look dumb on purpose... and then go out and see how many people even freaking notice, let alone give a damn.

Nobody gives a shit what you're doing in the GYM, guys.

[–]Mon_k 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The reality is no one cared what you were doing while you were sitting at home playing video games, why would they suddenly start giving a Shit because you're at the gym instead?

You gotta care about yourself because no one else will; but don't care so much that you begin to "project" it on to those around you.

[–]1Soarinc 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is a slippery slope though. Eventually you become the guy who just keeps 7 shirts in his closet that he never washes and just re-uses weekly.

Inner game is just as important as outer game, and the only person whose opinion you should concern with is your own. Not trying to knock on this advice -- just know that taking shortcuts will only come back to hurt you when it counts. If you don't follow the latest fashion trends and stock up on plenty of metro-sexual hair products, then you are at a serious disadvantage in the game of life, and will never achieve "highest possible hb#" in the mini-game of getting your dick wet.


[–][deleted] 3 points3 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]PinkySlayer 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I avoided the awkward spot asking by learning how to panic roll. There's videos on YouTube of it, but essentially when you fail on a bench press rep you lower the bar to your stomach and sit up while rolling the bar towards your legs and then rowing the bar down to the ground. It sounds scary or impossible but it's actually extremely easy. Try it with light weight first.


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