LTRGoing a little "nice guy" AFTER you've slept with a girl is actually a great way to screen out crazy (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by guhajin

In my younger and dumber days, I noticed that after I hooked up with a certain type of girl (i.e. girls from clubs, or drama queen "bad girl" types in general) if I later asked them out on some boring regular date, they would mostly disappear. A long time later, I learned how to keep those plates spinning if I wanted to (basically all the stuff you guys talk about on here).

But these days I'm lazy af when it comes to women and I find that dealing with crazy and/or going out with women who are only marginally into you is always way more hassle than it's worth. Also, I think you need a different tact if you actually want a healthy, happy relationship.

So, if I'm looking for a relationship, what I do is simple: After I sleep with a girl, I'll be a little overly nice on purpose just to see how she reacts. I think the terms alpha and beta are kind of stupid, but in pua speak, I'll go just a little beta. I'll compliment her in some overly romantic way or I'll call her very soon after. Or maybe I'll ask her out on a standard movie dinner date. And in my experience this works great.

The girls who weren't that into you in the first place and were looking for an out will take it. The player types who hate normal dating will disappear. The psychos who can't handle any positive attention from guys and the drama queens who need constant tension will vanish in a hurry.


The normal girls - i.e. undamaged, drama free, good family, etc. - who are really into you will roll with this even if they find it a little awkward or romantic is not their usual style. And the sweetheart romantic types... Well they will respond overwhelmingly positively. And from there, if that's what you want, boom, instant nice, non-crazy girlfriend.

EDIT: This was my first post here. Thanks a lot for the response guys. I think most of you got what I was trying to say. I think this community is great and it's taught me a lot, but... I gotta say, sometimes this sub gets way too fucking dark. I think there are a few people on here who need to stop ruminating about the depravity of the human race for a little while, go date a nice, happy girl, and cheer the fuck up.

And, on a related point, for those of you who insist that being a nice guy is "weak" I will say this: If "maintaining your alpha frame" 24-7 is that important to you, the drama queen in your relationships is you. Learning some game is great and necessary, but after you've done that, you have to know when to apply it. You can't stay constantly "alpha" over the course of months and months with a relationship oriented girl. If you try, you will either (a) eventually make her think you're a douchebag or (b) slowly turn a happy girl into damaged goods with trust issues. I'm telling you, if you want a girlfriend, relax with the "I must be alpha all the time!!!" mindset. A little nice works great with nice girls.

[–][deleted] 318 points318 points

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[–][deleted] 459 points460 points  (48 children)

Being kind isn't a beta trait, being weak is. Let's not get things confused. A beta is despised not because he is nice, but because he is a doormat.

If you really think about it, only alphas can be true nice guys anyway because they're not being nice in order to get something. Betas are nice to get laid, alphas know they can get laid regardless and thus if an alpha is a nice guy it is actually meaningful.

[–][deleted] 109 points110 points  (4 children)

That's the main difference imo between being nice and being kind. Nice people don't want to rock the boat and do things because they want something in return (to be liked). Kind people do kind things because the act of being kind fulfills them.

[–]razormachine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a reformed beta I can confirm this. It took me some time to define the difference. As a "nice" guy I did things because I wanted something in return. And now, sometimes I do "kind" stuff simply because it fulfills me.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (9 children)

Last night I was at a party with my LTR. There was a pause in the conversation with the group we were a part of, and she asked me to go get something of hers out of my car. I pulled my keys out of my pocket and handed them to her. The women and white knights were shocked and said, "That's mean! Where's your chivalry?" No it's not, she's perfectly capable of walking outside to the car herself.

Of course the women were just shit testing me because if they really thought I was being mean they would have stopped talking to me, but they didn't. The white knights on the other hand, well you know that goes totally against their niceguy programming. If I start doing things like that, that's creating the conditions for her to continuously ask for (and expect me to do) more and more things which she is perfectly capable of doing herself. Women learned from an early age that they can get men to do these things for them, and I was not about to enter her frame - especially not in front of a group of people, because I'm not a door mat. And there was no reason for me to do that for her because it's not going to increase her sexual attraction to me. In fact, it will ultimately DECREASE her attraction to me if it happens enough. You gotta nip that shit in the butt immediately. You can't explain this to white knights because they don't get it (that's why they're white knights in the first place).

Later that night we were in bed and she brought up how everyone else thought I was a jerk for not going to the car for her. I said, "I'm not a jerk. I just got you off three times, because I'm a nice guy." Then I also brought up how I bought us a bottle of wine and frozen yogurt the other night, which she admitted shocked her (I only spent $20 total on both of us), and how I picked her up to go to the party instead of making her meet me there. So I am a nice guy, and she agreed.

I didn't get upset at her for being ungrateful though because women are inherently incapable of being grateful for the sacrifices men make for them. It also doesn't bother me because fundamentally she is really just accusing me of being too alpha and I am trying to defend myself by bringing up examples of being beta. I take that as a compliment.

[–]evileddy 17 points18 points  (2 children)

"That's mean! Where's your chivalry?

"That's sexist.. women are equal now!" smirk

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yes this is what we say in our minds, but logic doesn't work out loud

[–]dyed_red 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn, that's a badass line, gonna keep it

[–]squeadle 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Later that night we were in bed and she brought up how everyone else thought I was a jerk for not going to the car for her. I said, "I'm not a jerk. I just got you off three times, because I'm a nice guy." Then I also brought up how I bought us a bottle of wine and frozen yogurt the other night, which she admitted shocked her (I only spent $20 total on both of us), and how I picked her up to go to the party instead of making her meet me there. So I am a nice guy, and she agreed.

Aren't you defending yourself too much by bringing up 3 examples?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

If I was trying to make myself appear more alpha then yes. But I was trying to look more beta

[–]juliusstreicher 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Definitely. Just because you can recall three examples doesn't mean jack shit except for the fact that your powers of recall are better than most. Seriously.

[–]lukeyj_gtfc -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Not at all. She's saying he's not nice for this. He is saying he is nice. He's giving reasons that fit into his frame. The point of it is control. He defends against being controlled but goes above and beyond on his own terms. Doing it as a choice, not because coerced. It still has the same effect, the woman knows she doesn't control you, even in social situations.

[–]yomo86 36 points37 points  (1 child)

Thank you for that. TRP gets this one wrong or it errs on the side of too much boldness for the newbies. I once drove 20 miles in the middle of the night to comfort a top notch plate because her pet of 17 years has passed away. But the day before I declined on doing chores in her apartment and meeting her mother.

Kindness, benevolence and sweetness when coming from a position of power will raise you above all.

[–]Your_Coke_Dealer 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This "too much boldness" is not only an error of the new guys, but also one of the pitfalls on the TRP "path" to alpha-dom. Some fall in the anger phase. They stay there forever and just hate women. Others fall later on and get cocky. They become douchebags who aren't really alpha but exaggerate traits you'd associate with alpha in order to fake it. Others still fail by believing themselves to be enlightened, when every single one of us is always learning. And finally, as you describe, some people fail because they never know when to chill. If TRP is truly internalized, you won't be thinking about it enough to need to worry about holding frame. It will just be a part of your personality to serve in your self interest, just like what women do.

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

This should be fucking stickied

[–]1aguy01 17 points18 points  (4 children)

Preach. The most alpha guy I know is also the most generous guy, positive, and friendliest guy I know. Compliments people all the time and makes you feel really good. He's also an ex gang banging drug dealer that's done some horrible things to people.

[–]ChrisHernandez 13 points14 points  (1 child)

ahh alpha mixed with psychopath

[–]NormanoSilurian 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Beware of extremely charming people - some of them are psychopaths.

[–]1WeedDaddy 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Sounds like the criminals who find Jesus in prison.

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