Red Pill Example[X-post] "My BF broke up with me because I booked a week vacation with my EX in Amsterdam" or "How my BF held frame" (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by taracus

EDIT: Automod got me for brigading, back again

Link to op: https://archive.is/uULD2

Summary: OP (girlfriend) gets asked by an "ancient ex" to meet up in Amsterdam for a week while he is there for work (he lives in Italy and she in the UK). She books the ticket before mentioning anything to her BF because:

they were on sale for a ridiculously low price on the dates that he would be there, so I jumped at the opportunity.

Boyfriend breaks up with her without loosing frame and even 'that' subreddit calls her out for being wrong.

Body: So they've dated for 6 months and she thinks that going alone to Amsterdam to meet up with an "ex from ancient history who is more like a best-friend" is a good idea. She starts with the excuses even in the title.

Her boyfriend shows exactly how a situation like this are to be handled, no harsh words, no complaining about not going simply holding frame:

Pete seemed cool with it at first but after a few days asked me if there was any history between us. I was honest and told him there was. He didn't seem too bothered and eventually asked if I thought visiting an ex in another country was appropriate whilst in a relationship. I explained to him how Dave and my relationship wasn't like that and that we were strictly platonic. He didn't seem to really react, he just gave me a look that was...sarcastic, I suppose, would be the best way to describe it.

Edit: "he just gave me a look that was...sarcastic" -> "dont need to talk, just grin" (c) Endorsed TRP-philosophy.

First he calmly suspects that this is more than platonic and asks her and her hamster believes that going a week to Amsterdam with an ex to do drugs and partying is a sign of a "platonic friendship" and feels safe confessing that he is actually an ex. He then proceeds to ask if she think its appropriate (not telling her its not, just vetting to see if she is really LTR material).

She then pulls out the "strong independent black woman" card as a response:

I then told him that I wouldn't be controlled and hated men that thought they owned me and could tell me what to do. I told him I was free to see who I wanted and that I found his lack of trust in me upsetting, disrespectful and, perhaps, a sign of future abusiveness. I now realise that this may have been a bad thing to say. Again, he didn't really react so I thought that was the end of it.

Here most men would have caved, given her reasons not go, told her not to go or even worse, supported the idea of the trip because nobody wants to be an "abusive boyfriend". Her boyfriend on the other hand shows exactly how to hold frame he even explains it to her:

Then, last night, he came around to my flat and broke up with me! I asked him why and tried to get him to explain himself and he told me that my going away was to see "another man" a deal-breaker, that he'd been in this type of situation before and wasn't going to go through it again. I asked him if this was an ultimatum - I hate ultimatums, they are tools of abusers - and he said "No, its not an ultimatum. I've decided to break up with you. I have not presented you with any options. I just came to say goodbye." Before I could say or do anything more, he kissed me on the forehead, said goodbye and walked away. He didn't seem angry, just...sad.

No harsh words, no ultimatums, no anger, just HELD FRAME. He realise a women that cant show her relationship the respect it deserves dont deserve him and he simply lets her go.

Here comes some bonus:

To make matters worse, I told Dave about what happened and he replied "Oh well, guess that means we can have even more fun then! ;o)" He didn't care about my relationship and my pain - he just wanted a hookup buddy and someone to get stoned with whilst he was in Amsterdam.

Suprise, her ex-boyfriend didnt invite her to Amsterdam to party to have a platonic friendship re-kindle. Obviously both men in this story knew exactly what was up but she comes to the Internet asking for advice of what went wrong.

I tried calling Pete today, about an hour ago, and he actually answered! He told me that I should look to be with someone who wasn't so abusive. He said, "Please stop calling me - this is over. Have a nice trip to Amsterdam" Then he BLOCKED me! How could he do that to someone he loves? Is he over reacting or was I? What should I do now? Was I wrong?

"How could he do that to someone he loves?" she asks herself without any self-reflection (until even the Internet told her that yes, you were wrong).

Lessons learnt:

  • Women believe in their hamsters, they are not lying when they say they "didnt cheat" or "it just happened", just because she believes her own lies dont mean you have to.

  • Hold frame, even if your girlfriend is planning on going on a fuck-trip to Amsterdam with an EX.

  • AWALT?

[–]1empatheticapathetic 449 points450 points  (32 children)

Pete is a hero. Good on him.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorVasiliyZaitzev 216 points217 points  (29 children)

He deserves the Red Pill Badge of Frame.

[–][deleted] 106 points107 points  (22 children)

Who would win between him, and the rich guy who made potato soup and watched netflix?

[–]refusewool 31 points32 points  (15 children)

What's the potato soup Netflix guy a reference from?

[–]taracus[S] 86 points87 points  (9 children)

Fiance breaks up with boyfriend because he lives "frugal and have no ambitions", a few months after breaking up her friends tell her he is loaded and she cant understand why he never showed her the money or spent any money on her.

Sure if you sort the right subreddit by top or search it youll find it, I cant remember where it was posted though.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorVasiliyZaitzev 71 points72 points  (7 children)

That was cross-posted here. If I am not mistaken, that was the lumberjack guy who played guitar and wasn't "ambitious" enough, drove a beater car or something, so she dumped him and he went "meh" and wished her well, etc. She told one of his friends and the guy chuckled and said she dumped a guy who owned thousands of acres of land and was worth a shit-ton of cash.

EDIT: It was this guy

[–]SACRlion 19 points20 points  (4 children)

I can't find the link, but there was a follow-up post a year later from the bitch where she termed the reason for the breakup to be "life issues, wanting different things, etc." She completely re-wrote the reason for the breakup in her mind.

She went back to the same NYE party she met him at the year before, got all wet and tingly when he hugged her, and then slumped into a deep depression when she realized he was with another girl, and had completely moved on from her. It was greatness.

Just sorry I can't find the follow-up link or archived post.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorVasiliyZaitzev 19 points20 points  (2 children)

I can't find the link, but there was a follow-up post a year later from the bitch where she termed the reason for the breakup to be "life issues, wanting different things, etc." She completely re-wrote the reason for the breakup in her mind....Just sorry I can't find the follow-up link or archived post.

You're welcome.

[–]SACRlion 5 points6 points  (1 child)

You are a gentleman and a scholar, sir, take your upvote.

And it was worse than I remembered, she accused him of being 'dishonest' about 'life things'.

[–]CornyHoosier 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Girl came on Reddit to complain about her very wealthy boyfriend who recently broke up with her. She was mad because she found out he was wealthy after she broke up with him for not wanting to go out on a bunch of dates and buy her shit. Her finding out he was wealthy turned her smugness of the breakup into anger.

The reasoning for the breakup was that he often wanted to spend his personal time watching Netflix with her and made her meals (specifically made her soups; because when people make you food, you should complain about it).

Best part was that she found out later was that he had, without her knowledge, paid a bunch of medical bills for some family pet that were ill (something along those lines) and told her mom to keep it a secret. I guess even her mom told her it was stupid to have broke up with him.

[–]IronManAlan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He also paid for her fathers funeral, but told her mum to keep it a secret as he didn't want to be know as "the rich benefactor"

[–]Mintaka7 10 points11 points  (1 child)

But how good was the potato soup?

[–]The_BeardedGentleman 25 points26 points  (0 children)

heard it was valued at 50% of his income.

[–]30fretibanezguy 11 points12 points  (1 child)

He gets a spot in the Hall of Frame.

[–]NaughtyAudio 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think we need a Hall of Frame.

[–]pokerb 659 points660 points  (20 children)

If you still can't be Chad, at least be Pete