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Married Red PillPro Divorce (X-Post ProRevenge) (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by rockskavin

Throwaway as this might not make me very popular, even in ProRevenge.

This all happened to me a few years ago. I told a friend the story of my divorce and I was told to share. Started a few years ago. I thought we were happy. We were your usual suburban professional couple. Financially secure, healthy, good sex life, two kids (14f and 9m at the time). I thought we had a healthy social life.

We were going through one of your typical married couple rough patches. Both of us were working long hours, not spending enough time together, we were going through some developmental problems with my son and tensions in the house were running a little high. I noticed that she was spending a lot more time on her phone texting with her "girlfriends". I didn't think much of it. I started making a much more concerted effort to get out of work when I could, help around the house and be more emotionally available, but over the course of a few weeks the gulf just kept getting wider. I ended up accidentally finding some messages when I charged up an old IPad for my son to use. Her FB messenger was still logged in and there were a lot of highly questionable messages with a guy from her hometown who I will call JimBobCooter or JBC for short.

The messages weren't completely inappropriate, but I could tell there were quite a few missing based on the times and context of the messages. I made a mental note to keep an eye on this and went about trying to fix things up. The next day after I took the day off to knock out some projects that I thought would make her happy, and left her some sweet notes reminding her how much I appreciated her she was once again in the corner of the living room "texting her girlfriends". I took the boys iPad to the office opened up FB messenger and watched in real time as my wife tore me down. Her and JBC were making fun of me. All of my flaws, insecurities and secrets I entrusted to my partner were now fodder for her and JBC. Not only that, but while there wasn't outright sexting there was a sexual undertone to the whole conversation, especially when she was bashing my performance in the sack. I managed to take some screenshots, but missed a good bit of the messages, because as the conversation was unfolding she was deleting them. I wasn't emotionally capable of confronting her.

I stayed in the office until she was asleep and had a couple drinks. I took off the next day and spent some time soul searching, drinking and trying to figure out what to do. The wife came home and wanted to know what was wrong and I just coped out and told her I had a bad day. A couple minutes later I was watching the iPad as the train wreck kept unfolding. So began a couple solid weeks of taking screenshots, drinking and detaching myself from the relationship. I knew there was no going back from this. The messages were now overtly sexual with my wife completely into it, and JBC was sprinkling in "I love you's". I consulted a lawyer and got my options, and started moving forward. Here's where everything got absolutely surreal. Watching the messages I found out JBC was coming to town to spend a weekend of quality time with my wife in a pretty nice hotel. I was missing a good bit of the info, they must have had a phone conversation about it at some point, but I was able to infer enough to get the when and where. Sure as shit the next day the wife is buttering me up and wanting to take a spa weekend with the girls to relax and when she gets back we can really focus on our marriage. I go with it all the way. It's the greatest idea she's ever had, and I'll do anything to get us back on track.

I get with the lawyer and have him draft a strong separation agreement stating that she would move out, she would get weekend visitation, no child support in the interim until the divorce is final. Then I sit through the most agonizing two weeks of my life. After all this most of my feelings for her are completely gone, and I'm just seething with anger like I've never felt before. D-day arrives. I take the day off work. I Withdraw half of any money in any accounts we are joint on, leave her half alone. I had already redirected my paycheck to a new bank. I close our money market account and get a cashiers check for her half and deposit my half in my new account. I stop at office max and print out about 75 pages of FB messenger screenshots, and I kill time because I don't want to be at home. She texts me that she's taking off and that she loves me. I tell her to have fun.

I show up to the hotel at about 830 and call the wife's phone from the lobby. It goes straight to VM. They are probably already at it, whatever. I walk up to the front desk and ask if I can use the phone to be connected to JBCs room. It rings three times and he picks up. JBC: Hello? Me: JBC, can you send my wife down to the lobby please? JBC: I don't know what you're talking about bro. Me: Ok then. I guess I'll have to call Mrs. JBC and get her down here. (Totally a bluff. I knew he was married, and I knew her first name but that was it.) JBC: (Inaudible, shuffling, panic) Me: You got five minutes. Click Not even two minutes later my wife comes walking out of the elevator looking a little flustered. I sit her down in the corner of the lobby. Her: Starts spewing bullshit saying it's not what it seems etc etc. Me: I'm not here to argue. The things that are said in this pile of papers are what's going on. The only way I'm not giving a copy of this to daughter, your parents and emailing it to everyone we know is if you move out immediately. (Wife was very prideful. Daughter was going through a rebellious teen phase and her knowing probably would have forever killed their relationship. Wife was also her parents golden child and she always worried about what they thought of her. I didn't have much leverage and shame was my only card to play. Also her professional life is built up around her image, so I knew she would protect that at all costs.) Her: Sniffle, mumble, inaudible Me: This is a check for half of the money market account. I've withdrawn my half of the money from all the other joint accounts. You should have more than enough to get a place. She starts to cry a little. I could almost see the different thoughts and waves of emotions going through her, but now was the time to keep pressing. Me: Here is a separation agreement that I think is more than fair considering what's going on. I'm going to need you to look this over, sign it, and leave it at the house when you get your stuff. Do you want to look through these screenshots? Her: No. Me: Ok. Go have fun with JBC. Do not come back to the house or I'm going to send this (holds up ream of screenshots) to everyone.

I bounce out of the lobby, and I can hear her start to have a breakdown. I get to the car drive off to a parking lot and have my own crying rage fit. Previously I would have cried in front of her and yelled and whatnot but I managed to get my shit together enough to pull it off. I don't know what she did that night or over the weekend. She texted and called over and over wanting to talk. I just turned the phone off and by the time Monday afternoon rolled around there were movers getting her stuff and she delivered the agreement. I let her have a talk with the kiddos basically saying mommy and daddy need some time a part, we still love you, etc etc. Standard divorce talk. After a week she wants to have a real talk for the first time. I oblige her because I've already got my shit together and I've got an idea of what I want, but I should hear her out. She's so sorry. She wants another chance. She wants her family back.

She'll do anything. She's on her knees crying into my lap. I have no intention of ever taking her back. I tell her she needs to set up marriage counseling on her own at a time that works for me. I tell her that I can't live with her, but she should be around the children to try to maintain a relationship with them. So starts our new normal of her coming over the house, cooking and having dinner with the kids three nights a week (she always saved me a plate, I made myself scarce), her cleaning the house and doing the kids laundry then heading back to her place. We went to counseling. It consisted of her working through her issues with the therapist trying to figure out why she did it, her begging for forgiveness, and me stoically playing the victim. I was never going to give her another chance. All I wanted to do was kill time, establish myself as the primary caregiver to the kids, and establish her as not having residency in the house.


[–]ModeratorPaperStreetVilla[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (25 children)

Throwaway as this might not make me very popular, even in ProRevenge.

This all happened to me a few years ago. I told a friend the story of my divorce and I was told to share. Started a few years ago. I thought we were happy. We were your usual suburban professional couple. Financially secure, healthy, good sex life, two kids (14f and 9m at the time). I thought we had a healthy social life.

We were going through one of your typical married couple rough patches. Both of us were working long hours, not spending enough time together, we were going through some developmental problems with my son and tensions in the house were running a little high. I noticed that she was spending a lot more time on her phone texting with her "girlfriends". I didn't think much of it. I started making a much more concerted effort to get out of work when I could, help around the house and be more emotionally available, but over the course of a few weeks the gulf just kept getting wider. I ended up accidentally finding some messages when I charged up an old IPad for my son to use. Her FB messenger was still logged in and there were a lot of highly questionable messages with a guy from her hometown who I will call JimBobCooter or JBC for short.

The messages weren't completely inappropriate, but I could tell there were quite a few missing based on the times and context of the messages. I made a mental note to keep an eye on this and went about trying to fix things up. The next day after I took the day off to knock out some projects that I thought would make her happy, and left her some sweet notes reminding her how much I appreciated her she was once again in the corner of the living room "texting her girlfriends". I took the boys iPad to the office opened up FB messenger and watched in real time as my wife tore me down. Her and JBC were making fun of me. All of my flaws, insecurities and secrets I entrusted to my partner were now fodder for her and JBC. Not only that, but while there wasn't outright sexting there was a sexual undertone to the whole conversation, especially when she was bashing my performance in the sack. I managed to take some screenshots, but missed a good bit of the messages, because as the conversation was unfolding she was deleting them. I wasn't emotionally capable of confronting her.

I stayed in the office until she was asleep and had a couple drinks. I took off the next day and spent some time soul searching, drinking and trying to figure out what to do. The wife came home and wanted to know what was wrong and I just coped out and told her I had a bad day. A couple minutes later I was watching the iPad as the train wreck kept unfolding. So began a couple solid weeks of taking screenshots, drinking and detaching myself from the relationship. I knew there was no going back from this. The messages were now overtly sexual with my wife completely into it, and JBC was sprinkling in "I love you's". I consulted a lawyer and got my options, and started moving forward. Here's where everything got absolutely surreal. Watching the messages I found out JBC was coming to town to spend a weekend of quality time with my wife in a pretty nice hotel. I was missing a good bit of the info, they must have had a phone conversation about it at some point, but I was able to infer enough to get the when and where. Sure as shit the next day the wife is buttering me up and wanting to take a spa weekend with the girls to relax and when she gets back we can really focus on our marriage. I go with it all the way. It's the greatest idea she's ever had, and I'll do anything to get us back on track.

I get with the lawyer and have him draft a strong separation agreement stating that she would move out, she would get weekend visitation, no child support in the interim until the divorce is final. Then I sit through the most agonizing two weeks of my life. After all this most of my feelings for her are completely gone, and I'm just seething with anger like I've never felt before. D-day arrives. I take the day off work. I Withdraw half of any money in any accounts we are joint on, leave her half alone. I had already redirected my paycheck to a new bank. I close our money market account and get a cashiers check for her half and deposit my half in my new account. I stop at office max and print out about 75 pages of FB messenger screenshots, and I kill time because I don't want to be at home. She texts me that she's taking off and that she loves me. I tell her to have fun.

I show up to the hotel at about 830 and call the wife's phone from the lobby. It goes straight to VM. They are probably already at it, whatever. I walk up to the front desk and ask if I can use the phone to be connected to JBCs room. It rings three times and he picks up. JBC: Hello? Me: JBC, can you send my wife down to the lobby please? JBC: I don't know what you're talking about bro. Me: Ok then. I guess I'll have to call Mrs. JBC and get her down here. (Totally a bluff. I knew he was married, and I knew her first name but that was it.) JBC: (Inaudible, shuffling, panic) Me: You got five minutes. Click Not even two minutes later my wife comes walking out of the elevator looking a little flustered. I sit her down in the corner of the lobby. Her: Starts spewing bullshit saying it's not what it seems etc etc. Me: I'm not here to argue. The things that are said in this pile of papers are what's going on. The only way I'm not giving a copy of this to daughter, your parents and emailing it to everyone we know is if you move out immediately. (Wife was very prideful. Daughter was going through a rebellious teen phase and her knowing probably would have forever killed their relationship. Wife was also her parents golden child and she always worried about what they thought of her. I didn't have much leverage and shame was my only card to play. Also her professional life is built up around her image, so I knew she would protect that at all costs.) Her: Sniffle, mumble, inaudible Me: This is a check for half of the money market account. I've withdrawn my half of the money from all the other joint accounts. You should have more than enough to get a place. She starts to cry a little. I could almost see the different thoughts and waves of emotions going through her, but now was the time to keep pressing. Me: Here is a separation agreement that I think is more than fair considering what's going on. I'm going to need you to look this over, sign it, and leave it at the house when you get your stuff. Do you want to look through these screenshots? Her: No. Me: Ok. Go have fun with JBC. Do not come back to the house or I'm going to send this (holds up ream of screenshots) to everyone.

I bounce out of the lobby, and I can hear her start to have a breakdown. I get to the car drive off to a parking lot and have my own crying rage fit. Previously I would have cried in front of her and yelled and whatnot but I managed to get my shit together enough to pull it off. I don't know what she did that night or over the weekend. She texted and called over and over wanting to talk. I just turned the phone off and by the time Monday afternoon rolled around there were movers getting her stuff and she delivered the agreement. I let her have a talk with the kiddos basically saying mommy and daddy need some time a part, we still love you, etc etc. Standard divorce talk. After a week she wants to have a real talk for the first time. I oblige her because I've already got my shit together and I've got an idea of what I want, but I should hear her out. She's so sorry. She wants another chance.

She wants her family back.

She'll do anything. She's on her knees crying into my lap. I have no intention of ever taking her back. I tell her she needs to set up marriage counseling on her own at a time that works for me. I tell her that I can't live with her, but she should be around the children to try to maintain a relationship with them.

So starts our new normal of her coming over the house, cooking and having dinner with the kids three nights a week (she always saved me a plate, I made myself scarce), her cleaning the house and doing the kids laundry then heading back to her place. We went to counseling. It consisted of her working through her issues with the therapist trying to figure out why she did it, her begging for forgiveness, and me stoically playing the victim. I was never going to give her another chance. All I wanted to do was kill time, establish myself as the primary caregiver to the kids, and establish her as not having residency in the house.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 232 points233 points  (17 children)

I have to say this is the most skillful, most wise, most intelligent divorce "Game" that I've ever seen here on the Red Pill.

 

Four Stars

 

The fact you effectively used blackmail with the "lovers texts" was pure genius and the cool actions of a man who isn't foolish.

Excellent.

We don't hear many stories where the "good guys" win in the end.

 

[–]chasethenews 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It's an x-post, it's not OP's actual post.

[–]garrettruskamp 21 points22 points  (12 children)

Some guy in bestof did a pseudo analysis of it pointing out some fairly large plot holes. Almost always if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. There may be some truth to it, but it is likely a lie or fantasy of what he wished had happened.

[–]ePants 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Some guy in bestof did a pseudo analysis of it pointing out some fairly large plot holes. Almost always if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. There may be some truth to it, but it is likely a lie or fantasy of what he wished had happened.

If it's the one I'm thinking of, that analysis needs it's own analysis for plot holes.

One of the first points was that she either didn't get a lawyer or had a horrible one if he actually got away with blackmailing her, but honestly, she probably kept that threat about the screenshots to herself, given how much her image meant to her.

[–]garrettruskamp 1 point2 points  (2 children)

It is a wonder that she never hired a lawyer at all aside from the blackmail, it's also surprising she tried no manipulation of the kids. Also that everything went to plan. Anyone who has ever tried to plan an action out knows something almost always goes wrong. The more elaborate the plan, the more likely it is to occur. The best of post was unsurprisingly deleted so I can no longer see the analysis to support it any more.

[–]ePants 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Well, it's a story from multiple years ago, and obviously more actually went down than just the few interactions that were described in the story. Just because there's more to the story doesn't mean the parts that he told us are untrue.

She also probably didn't try to manipulate the kids because, again, she was afraid of her image being tarnished.

Any of the individual parts of the story (screenshots of messages, buying time to establish residency and primary caregiver status, reducing income to impact child support, etc) are all pretty common things that happen in divorces. Even if it's unlikely that they all went according to plan, there's enough divorces every year that there's probably plenty of stories out there like this one - even if it's a statistically small percentage.

People share unlikely things all the time on reddit, because the fact they're unlikely is what makes them interesting and worth sharing.

[–]garrettruskamp 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I fully agree with you. I just have a general mistrust of information on the internet. I agree it's possible the story is true, while I acknowledge it's also possible to be false. Being skeptical of stories isn't necessarily a bad thing, I tend to read posts with a grain of salt. Admittedly I believed this story whole heartedly until the analysis in bestof.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 5 points6 points  (7 children)

So you want to spoil our dream that there are still masculine men left on earth.

Gee thanks.

Even if it's a fabrication it achieves our desired result... to show the path of the hero.

We need heroes.

 

[–]garrettruskamp 2 points3 points  (3 children)

So you want to spoil our dream that there are still masculine men left on earth

 

I haven't spoiled anything for you. I'm warning you to not be naive. Sure we need heroes, but if you think that there are perfect masculine role models out there then you are delusional. At their core they are still human. They will still have some beta tendencies and weaknesses. They may be able to hide them very well but they are there.

Do you not understand what the red pill metaphor means? That we see the truth through the fabricated lie that is society. If women can build an illusion that they are innocent little angels, then it's not so crazy some men can carry the facade of being purely masculine. Are they still great men? Of course. Do they make beta mistakes? Don't kid yourself.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 0 points1 point  (2 children)

The story had abundant mention of his failures leading up to his "moment of clarity".

I'm going to disagree with you on this one.

Unless evidence surfaces that makes me sense deception I'm going to say his story is valid.

Sorry.

 

[–]garrettruskamp 0 points1 point  (1 child)

No need to be sorry man. That's the beauty of red pill, it's a guideline, not a text book. We are entitled to believe and be whatever we want to and I'm just a skeptic.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What makes me believe the story is authentic is I didn't sense an inflated ego anywhere within it.

He genuinely felt stupid about himself before finding out.

His intense anger "somehow" got him to the wisest choice possible.

He stated he was a "profession" so he might be a smart guy anyway.

Then he met with a lawyer who seems to have been very cunning too.

The money spent on getting advice from that lawyer probably was the root of where the idea came from.

But I understand being skeptical... if he wrote that as fiction he was a genius.

 

[–]dirkforthree 1 point2 points  (2 children)

This guy went from little bitch that his wife litterally made fun of with other men to "now I fuck tinderellas." This guy is so full of shit that it makes me sick that anyone is buying it

[–]NeoreactionSafe -1 points0 points  (1 child)

No, this is a guy getting angry and striking as needed.

He's a profession guy... as a guy from the Upper Middle Class myself the higher up in social class you go the more willing to get dirty and fight you will see.

My stepfather (20 years remarried after my father died) was a lawyer and he showed me how that business works.

He consulted a lawyer... the lawyer gave him the tools for victory.

He's heroic, but he had help.

 

[–]dirkforthree 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes yes yes and now he fucks tinderellas

[–]AstralAeonSoul 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This should be sidebar material. I'm sure there are a lot of men that find TRP because they are being cheated on, they would find this most useful.