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Red Pill TheoryDon't communicate; leave -- Communication is validation-seeking behavior (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by TRP VanguardArchwinger

We often see questions that go something like, “My girlfriend did [insert shitty behavior]. How do I get her to stop?”

The misogynistic blue pill answer is, of course, to communicate with her. Tell her how you feel about her shitty behavior and why, and ask her to stop. Use your feelings to try to guilt and manipulate and coerce her into changing what she wants to do for your sake. Blue pill men are such manipulative cunts. Fucking misogynists.

However, the answer most shitty Red Pill advocates will give is even stupider. Communicate with her. Tell her that you don’t like her shitty behavior, and demand that she stop. Be an asshole about it. Threaten to dump her. Then post something stupid on the internet about how you were “alpha” for enforcing boundaries. Fucking morons.

“Communication” doesn’t work. Whether you’re asking or telling, you’re still communicating, and it doesn’t work. It’s still a negotiation. And you don’t negotiate with children or terrorists. (Women are an interesting mix of both.) I guess if you’re a pussy and need some toned down language: You don’t negotiate with disrespectful people who are handing you shitty behavior.

Women are not stupid. Women know the difference between good behavior and bad behavior. Women know that there are some things that good women don’t do, because it’s disrespectful to their men. If a woman is exhibiting shitty behavior, it’s not because she’s stupid and doesn’t know better. It’s not because you never told her not to. She doesn’t need to be told. She already knows she’s being a shitty cunt.

If a woman is giving you shitty behavior, she is doing it because she doesn’t respect you and either thinks you’re a pussy who’s going to let her get away with it, or just doesn’t care if you leave because she doesn’t want you any more.

Communication is not the solution in that case. No matter how big of an asshole you are about it, how much you demand changes instead of asking politely, or how much you bluster and threaten. By communicating at all, you are whining. You are confirming that she is right to disrespect you. She already knows she’s being a shitty cunt. Verbally confronting her about it is an admission that you can’t control this situation any other way. That you’re powerless and have to resort to asking her to grant you better behavior as a personal favor. Asking her impolitely instead of politely so you can call yourself a manly “Red Pill” man is irrelevant. You’re still begging a woman to do what you want.

Communication is validation-seeking behavior. By telling a girl to do something or to stop doing something, you are asking her to validate that she cares about your feelings by complying with your request. There are some circumstances under which seeking validation from a woman in this way is acceptable, such as commanding her to do something in the bedroom. But in day-to-day interactions, if you have to tell a woman to stop a shitty behavior (that she already damn well knows is shitty), you’re a pussy. You are communicating that you have no other options, so you have to resort to trying to salvage this shitty behavior instead of just leaving.

When a woman respects you, she behaves herself. Because she doesn’t want to risk screwing things up with a guy she respects. In fact, women who respect you are constantly going out of their way doing shit for you to demonstrate their qualities. You don’t have to tell a woman who respects you to behave herself or treat you better. She’s already doing it. Because women know how to be good partners, when they want to be.

When a woman is being shitty, just leave. No pussy is worth putting up with bullshit. You are better off with no female prospects whatsoever than with a shitty girlfriend. Having a shitty girlfriend is like having cancer. Most days, you feel okay and live your life, but in the back of your mind you know that something is slowly eating you alive. You invest a lot of your energy and resources to keep the shitty parts of your life at bay and enjoy the good ones, but as time goes on, it takes more and more out of you. You slowly get used to more and more shit until your life is actually kind of unpleasant. Having that shitty girlfriend tumor invading your organs becomes part of your identity. Your life.

When The Red Pill advises that men should not tolerate shitty behavior from women, it is not advocating that you should confront women and complain about their behavior, as you bluster and threaten and demand your way into looking like an even bigger pussy than you did when you were a blue pill guy. In response to shitty behavior, leave. Cut the cancer out of your life before it kills you.

Check out this and other content on The Red Pill's off-Reddit site. Here's a link.


[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 129 points130 points  (11 children)

So many men (I'm looking at you asktrp) would be better off following this advice.

One subtle point: leaving IS communicating, it's just the way men communicate, i.e. via action.

Men get into relationships via action, e.g. holding a woman's hand, putting his hand around her waist, going up to her and kissing her, etc. If a man asks verbally for permission to do all these things, he's going to look very weak and needy. This is exactly why the affirmative consent legislation is so messed up - they're forcing men to be unattractive by communicating intent verbally vs. through action.

Men should also leave relationships via action. Your woman is bitching at you on the phone? Hang up. Is she bitching at you in person? Get up and leave. Don't enter her frame by engaging. Demonstrate via action that her behavior is unacceptable and that you're off to explore other options.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear222 37 points38 points  (5 children)

tldr communicate through action, not words

[–]banginasgard 16 points17 points  (4 children)

Almost like how we shouldn't trust a woman's words, only her actions.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Notice how women already realize this subconsciously. They know their actions don't correlate with their words, so why would they expect that to be true of men. It's no secret why communicating with actions is far more effective. You're suddenly speaking her language.

[–]pbj_sammichez 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That makes a lot of sense - women use words to achieve a desired result, not to communicate a concrete idea. They then project that female behavior onto men and expect us to do the same. Like a bumper sticker I once saw - "Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Or just don't trust women at all.

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points

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[–]1RXRob 0 points1 point  (1 child)

If they can convince all of the weak men to act like it then they'll have an easier time separating the Chad's from the Charles'

[–]nevva_Again 249 points250 points  (37 children)

Women are not stupid. Women know the difference between good behavior and bad behavior. Women know that there are some things that good women don’t do, because it’s disrespectful to their men. If a woman is exhibiting shitty behavior, it’s not because she’s stupid and doesn’t know better. It’s not because you never told her not to. She doesn’t need to be told. She already knows she’s being a shitty cunt.

This needs to be etched into the brain of every man.

WOMEN ARE NOT STUPID.

They always know what they are doing. They know when they're behaving well, and when they're being bitchy. THEY KNOW.

Among their girlfriends, they boast and laugh about how bitchy they are to their husbands and how they make them beg for sex. In fact, many of them are even aware of their hamster.

Have you ever wondered why they do a complete 180 and put on their best behaviour the moment you start dreading them? Because they know they were treating you badly all along.

These bitches aren't stupid. They know! They fucking know know what they're doing every moment. Never excuse or hamster away their bad behaviour.

u/Archwinger. You are a genius.

[–]yaysmr 35 points36 points  (5 children)

They know what they're doing, but they don't know why they're doing it.

And, by and large, they couldn't choose NOT to do it if they tried. But they can be trained.

This is why I don't really blame them for their behavior. Just recognize it, expect it, and account for it.

[–]nevva_Again 31 points32 points  (1 child)

And, by and large, they couldn't choose NOT to do it if they tried. But they can be trained.

Oh they can. They can choose to put on good behaviour. Ask Chad, he'll tell you how sweet and submissive your bitchy wife is to him.

The only reason why they continue to be bitchy is because there are no consequences for being a bitchy wife in the western world. The state, police and family courts encourage them to become bitchier. They have no incentive to put on good behaviour.

Women are only as shitty as you let them.

[–]marty2k 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And, by and large, they couldn't choose NOT to do it if they tried. But they can be trained.

Oh they can. They can choose to put on good behaviour. Ask Chad, he'll tell you how sweet and submissive your bitchy wife is to him.

The reason she treats Chad better than her husband is that he is alpha and her husband is beta. It's not really a choice, it's a biological reaction to different types of stimuli. So exactly as the other guy said, she doesn't know why she treats him better, and she could never force herself to treat her sweet hubby like that hot, ripped guy from the bar, but she is aware she's doing it.

[–]Regularguygamebrah 12 points13 points  (1 child)

No. In general, perhaps. From the horses mouth, a hot 5'0" 95lb HB8 "things are going to well w me and Chad. it's getting boring. I need to throw a wrench in it" then she started fucking the guy across the hall and inviting me, her brothers best friend, to sleep over. AND DONT YOU KNOW I answer the door one night in my boxers after fuckkn one of her roommates and Chad gets PISSED. THEY KNOW. Don't let yourself hamster it away.

[–]UncleSniffy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I would argue that them trying not to would make it even harder

[–][deleted] 85 points85 points

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[–]Endorsed ContributorFLFTW16 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Am I the only one that LOL'd at the Rubio meta reference?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Didn't get past me, I had a good laugh as well

[–]j0hnan0n 26 points27 points  (14 children)

TL;DR Bring on the hatemail and the downvotes!

I'm not convinced that this is universal. Some women are genuinely ignorant that some of their behavior isn't optimal, due to solipsism. If a woman isn't genuinely aware of other people in the universe, they can't know that their behavior is wrong in relation to those other people.

source: I've dated women that were raised under strict traditional gender roles, and neither change behaviors when with me, nor change behaviors away from me, nor do they try to hamster or excuse their behavior, whether it's good or bad. Some women have simply never gotten the correct inputs (corrections) for their behavior in order to guide them in the correct direction. This doesn't excuse what they do. It simply informs WHY they do what they do.

No offense, but by saying that all "bitches aren't stupid" you're giving them way, WAAAAY more credit than they deserve. People are stupid. Bitches fall within the category of stupid. Ergo, at least some bitches ARE stupid.

Bring on the hatemail and the downvotes!

[–]Stythe 2 points3 points  (3 children)

A lot of TRP stuff can be boiled down to people's intelligence. I find struggle tends to lead to greater intelligence or at least awareness, so often women can afford to be ignorant while men can't. That said, it's better to assume they know, I find.

[–]j0hnan0n 1 point2 points  (2 children)

See, THAT makes perfect sense. Almost exactly the same as what I do: act as if they know (or should know) even if they might not. Makes it much easier to train better behaviors. "What's that, Suzy? Why am I acting this way? Because you should be acting this way, and you really ought to know it by know. I'll forgive it this time, but you'll pay in pain next time. [smack on the ass]"