All of us remember the man who first brought us to the steps of Temple of Brodin. The man who held protein shake communion after every workout. The man who told us to follow a five day bro split instead of a full body routine. The man who showed us how to half squat, quarter bench, and cheat curl. This man painstakingly answered each and everyone one of our fitness questions even if he didn't really know the answer.
We are eternally grateful to our Acolyte of Brodin for bestowing upon us the gift of gym knowledge. Unfortunately bros aren't the best place to get information. Blindly following gym bro advice can create a Jersey Shore body instead of the aesthetic one that you really want. Luckily for you GayLubeOil, Red Pill's department head of Bro Science has carefully researched the issue and has painstakingly created the antidote for the Jersey Shore Bod.
So what is the Jersey shore body? The Jersey shore body is a lift bro disorder that is a result of doing some exercises incorrectly and neglecting others. Here are a list of symptoms: The lower back is underdeveloped and the lats lack width. The anterior aka front deltiod is very well developed however the lateral and posterior are lacking in comparison. The chest lacks width. Traps and arms are overdeveloped from cheating in isolation movements. The legs and glutes are underdeveloped. Finally some are afflicted with Bro-Bloat.
Pectoral Punishment: This is a huge difference between how Mike "The Situation" and Arnold Schwarzenegger train chest. Arnold goes deep on every rep while Mike does some half rep bullshit with the help of Finaplix Frank. Pay close attention to how far and wide Arnold goes on pectoral flies. You can see the outer portion of his chest light up on every repetition. Now think back on how you do flies. Are you a wide Arnold, or a shallow Situation? Do that shit wide, let the weight stretch out the muscle on every repetition and you will have a better chest in a month. I guarantee it. Muscle engagement is far more important than big weight which is why Arnold is a legend and "The Situation" is a joke.
Deltoid Destruction: Are you hungry? You're in luck because today I'm going to share my recipe for my favorite all natural Italian sandwich: The Ritch Panini. Jokes aside, Rich has very well developed lateral deltoids which are a result of perfect form, high rep side laterals, and exogenous hormones. Jersey Shore cast members may also partake in exogenous hormones however they use too much weight on their laterals and cheat on the exercise. Which is why they have flat shitty delts. Another affliction that Jersey Shore suffers from is anterior rotation of the shoulder joint. This is because their front deltoids get plenty of work on pressing movements while their rear deltoids are hardly ever engaged. This imbalance can eventually lead to an unstable shoulder joint, a serious condition which will fuck your life up like having Snooki for a mother. The best way to resolve this situation is to do face pulls. As for Snooki's son Lorenzo Dominic Lavalle, he's fucked.
Back Attack: While I don't have the proper equipment to laser Jersey Shore tattoos, I do have the requisite knowledge to fix muscular imbalances. The most glaring thing wrong with Jersy Shore back development is the complete lack of erector spinae aka lower back. The reason for this is simple. They don't squat, deadlift, or olympic lift heavy if at all. Another problem is that their lats lack width. This is because they jerk the weight rather than engaging the back through a full range of motion. The dumbbell pullover is another exercise lacking from the Jersey Shore arsenal. Pullovers help to stretch out the lats and make them fuller, giving you an aesthetic V-Taper. By making these simple adjustments to your routine you can very quickly fix the deficiencies in your Jersey Shore Back.
Weightlifting is a core component of the rebellion against Progressive masculinity. The fundamental difference between a Red Pill man and a Bloopy, is that the former works to improve himself while the latter begs people to accept his mediocrity. Rise above average. Work Pec flies to get between her thighs. Do bent over rows and get bent over hoes. Hit bicep peaks and make bitches' knees weak. Get round delts and make pussies melt. When the abs are toned she'll examine your bone. Most importantly believe in yourself, believe in your ambitions but whatever you do, don't believe women.
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