Field Report[FR] Plate's friend got violent with her boyfriend (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by 1raceAround126

TL/DR: Girl beats her boyfriend in full view of everyone. She cries when the game is up and when she thinks I'm about to call the cops on her. White knights abound

Long version

One of my FWBs is 24, 8/10 and pretty fun. My FWB does sometimes show off some redpill traits I suppose. She understands that she's a FWB and it works well. She's got shit going on, as do I and neither one of us want the struggles of any sort of committed relationship. We enjoy fucking and the occasional hanging out.

Anyway, we were going out to the cinema last night and her friend and boyfriend decided they wanted to tag along. Movie over, we're getting some drinks and food from a pub bar thing across the way. I'm busy mainly with my FWB as she gets fun when I make her laugh. Her friend and boyfriend appear normal enough.

Anyway, the friend is definitely in the fixing type of mood. And she starts the conversation from out of nowhere. It's all about me and FWB and what we "are" why I haven't "committed" to her in any way.

I refuse to answer anything directly just saying that we are happy enough with how things are and no need to change anything that doesn't need fixing. I crack a few more jokes and get on mainly with warming up my FWB. But friend is obviously not letting up.

We discuss a bit more, my FWB is a bit more straight up than me but certain things she shuts up about, mainly stuff I have refused to answer before. But she gets enough to know that there is no commitment and that I do see other girls, something my FWB knows too. My FWB it seems doesn't see other guys according to my friend and talks about me often (uh oh, does someone want an upgrade?) but then describes me as an "asshole".

Of course, friend goes on the judgement speech immediately. My FWB is defending our arrangement just fine, I'm happy to let her fend off the initial assault. Friend then turns to me and asks me why my FWB isn't good enough for her. I make fun of her feet and her obsession with some male actor and point at flaws that way. FWB is giggling away, she knows I'm taking the piss out of her friend in the same way I diffused her old shit-tests on me when we first hooked up.

All the time, friend's boyfriend is laughing with me. He's cottoned onto where I'm at pretty quickly and is joining us in collectively laughing at the friend.

It's obvious, friend isn't happy about our situation and I'm obviously a scumbag. She turned back on my FWB when she said she shouldn't be "that kind of girl" and she can "do better". I firmly suggest that it's none of her business and if it's what her friend (my FWB) wants to do, then she should be her friend and support it. Not decry it. I could see friend's shit test was really a comfort test for my FWB. Instead of relenting and pledging my undying allegiance, I simply stood in the middle verbally and backed her off.

Whatever. The whole thing is highlighted when our bill comes and my FWB (she knows the score now, she knows my mentality before I even speak) asks the waiter for three bills. One for me, one for her and one for her friend and boyfriend. Or rather, boyfriend as he pays for her it seems.

Immediately friend pipes up again at me. "What, you're not even going to be a gentleman and pay for her dinner? After she puts up with the likes of you?"

I simply respond, "Really she should pay for me; I put up with her friend questioning me for a whole three hours! And did I mention those hobbit feet?" My FWB knows I'm just riling her friend, she grabs my hand and tells me she'd pay double for me or something like that. I can't recall correctly.

The friend's boyfriend is lapping all of this up. He sometimes sways between being protective of his girlfriend (she wears the pants, even responding correctly when she orders him to stop drinking alcohol) and laughing with the situation I find myself in.

We're leaving, my plan is to take FWB home for a pounding. We're already plenty touchy feely enough. We're walking back to where my car is parked and part ways with friend and boyfriend.

We're making out next to my car for a few minutes. It's dark, cold and pretty nice. My FWB is still giggling at some of the stuff that got said, I think this was the first time she was my audience member to handling women rather than the subject. Maybe it's knocked my game down a peg with her, maybe not, who knows.

Anyway we look over in the distance and discover friend and boyfriend are obviously arguing. We can't quite hear what is said, we weren't sure it was them at first, but she's doing the whole thrusting arms up in the air, he looks reasonable enough. We speculate at what they could be arguing at. FWB wants to go over and try and chill things, I just said we should leave them to it, no need to get involved in a domestic. Let them play it out, it's their business.

We're watching them about 2-3 minutes speculating, the friend is obviously getting a bit angry at the boyfriend who turns to walk off a few times. Now as we start to get into my car, I could swear I saw her clout him one over the head. My FWB didn't see it, but I was sure I did. We get in, I turn my car on and then it happens. The friend unleashes a hellfury on the guy like a wrestling match. She started with a kick in the balls which he obviously reacted to bending over to protect himself, she punched him in the face and on the back of the head. My FWB was in shock, just managing an "Oh my God!"

Now whaddya do. There's this guy getting beaten. You don't really know him at all, you don't really know her at all. FWB said we should go over. I just said, "Sod that we should just call the cops on her now!"

FWB is definitely not down for that idea because "she could get arrested!". Yes, yes she could. After a few seconds, I relented and said we'll drive over across that side of the car park and see what's up.

We get there, she's still in the midsts of berating him, calling him a cunt and a psycho. He has a mark on his face where she had punched him one and a bloody lip. When we appraoched them to split them up, she was facing him down with fists ready.

My FWB pulled her off of him backwards, I'm checking the guy make sure he can still talk. I specifically chose that dynamic, there is no way I am putting my hands on this girl or going anywhere near her! I could see a couple of people who had watched the whole thing. Now that FWB and I had shown up, that's when they decided to come over to "help". Fucking pussies.

The boyfriend obviously isn't happy but won't tell me what happened. It was shocking at first, this went from silliness in the pub to very extreme in no time at all. The friend started towards him another two times. The second time she tried to swipe for either me or him and I just stood up and said if she said one more word, I was calling the cops. Phone out, unlocked, I was dialling. My FWB was crying by now pleading me not to. The friend had shut up immediately. Her boyfriend was also asking me not to, I just said "That last swipe almost hit me and you bet your ass one more word gets said, I'm dialing. Do not even test me!"

We had attracted a fair amount of attention by now. People were watching agape at this whole thing unfold. Anyway, it seems threatening to call the cops was enough to get the friend to stop attacking and start crying. There were occasional shouts from her vicinity obviously aimed at boyfriend. Usually single word insults and more voices trying to calm her down.

We're there about 20 minutes with pussy Samaritans all trying to help out - aka stick their noses in the shit but when the boyfriend was getting smacked up they were all well back! That is, several guys and girls are talking with the friend making sure she's OK, I'm with the boyfriend trying to talk to him about what went on.

My FWB comes over to me after a while to join me with the boyfriend. She tells me she said that I would drop her home in my car. As in she had already offered. I just said, "There is no way that nutter is getting in my car. She can get her arse a cab!" My FWB protested that she couldn't leave her friend in that state so I just said, "If you want to go with her, do so. But there's no way I am having that in my car!"

There are a few men and women with the friend making sure she's OK. The boyfriend had two separate guys coming up to him demanding to know how it started. They basically were looking for opportunities to white knight. Their body language was very much antagonistic, demanding answers, "Why would she start at you like that? You must have done something to her..." You know the sort, rising inflections, that smarmy ass attitude.

One of them I had to tell to walk away as I could see what he was doing. He refused at first with a "what are you going to do? make me" type attitude. I told the boyfriend "Don't answer this guy anymore" and we both stood there in silence. The pussy white knight kept asking more shit until he finally got the message and walked back away. I guess he felt like he had won or something.

I knew that the the boyfriend was too much of a pussy not to take the bait. Had I left him answer the white knight's questions, something would have probably kicked off again. No need for another white knight war.

The situation diffused, I persuaded the boyfriend to leave in his car and go head to one of his friend's houses for the night, tissue to nose. I made him call the friend on his cellphone to tell them he was coming as I knew he would have just bolted for wherever he lives with this nutter woman. By calling his friend, he was pretty much committed then.

After he pulled out, a few men and women are left waiting with the friend for a taxi to show up to take her home. I started heading back to my car, my FWB runs up after me. She asks me if I'm leaving and I said, Yep, you're taking your friend home, everything is diffused, I'm going home!"

My FWB is obviously torn. She doesn't want to leave her friend, no matter how crazy she obviously is, but she doesn't want me to go either.

The same white knight, obviously on the hunt for pussy, won't leave us converse in peace and saying things like "Just let him go, if he wants to go let him". I don't dignify him with answers and address FWB. I just said, "It's your choice! But I'm leaving now."

I start walking, white knight is still there with his whiny voice but I don't even acknowledge him. And frankly, neither does my FWB. I got in my car and she gets in the passenger seat. She even said, "Fuck sake, that guy was pissing me off!"

She scrambles and pleads with me again to just drop her friend off and take her back to mine afterwards. I refuse simply stating that I really don't want to be around if she kicks off again. Simply as I know it's in her to do it.

A good few minutes, white knight is still waiting around sort of staring at us waiting for my FWB to emerge. What a pussy, he's laughable.

Finally, FWB tells me she will get the taxi with her friend, get her in the house and then get a taxi to mine. But would I make sure that they got to the taxi OK? I think she was actually a little afraid of white knight. I just said do what you feel, if I'm still up when you get to mine then cool.

I put FWB in the taxi next to friend. There was obviously a few people around, including white knight. Before I closed the door, I told the driver, "Take them out of the parking lot before you ask them where they're going!"

In a way, I was worried in case someone would try to follow them home but moreover I just wanted to express control of the whole situation in and of itself. I closed the door, the taxi drove off and I walked back to the car. People still hypothesizing what happened. And I would swear that someone told some newcomers that it was the friend who had gotten beaten up. I got back to my car and drove away from the crowd.

2:30am, about an hour later, she knocks on my door. She's lucky. I had just showered and was ready to hit the sack. A quick shower for her later, we're discussing things in bed. It turns out the friend didn't like me at all and that I was a "player". Me? Really? I never thought I would have ever been described like that. She was of course bemoaning this to boyfriend.

But it seems that boyfriend thought I was funny and not as bad as she was making out. And he apparently said it was cool that I was banging multiple women. And this was apparently the flashpoint for her friend. There was obviously more to this story which FWB did tell me, but not too relevant here. Apparently boyfriend used to see her ex-best friend and that was also mentioned a few times.

My FWB tried to excuse it by saying that her friend had "been treated badly" in the past. The second she said this, I just snorted and said "Bullshit, she knew what she was getting into with any one of those men who treated her badly!"

She was initially put off with this response, until she sort of figured that it must have been true to some extent. After that was a definite comfort test. Lots of "I never knew she could be that way" and "she must be nuts". Lots of LMR as well, but then you know how that goes.


  • Women, even ones you trust, can suddenly snap and beat you. They can and will do it if sufficiently provoked.

  • While talking to the boyfriend after his attack, I asked him why he didn't fight back. HE simply said he was scared to do so simply because of the consequences. I.e. any of the guys witnessing would have most likely been violent towards him, through to the police arresting him instead

  • Men in England will act just as white-knight as you Americans it seems. The immediate assumption was that they boyfriend did something wrong to initiate the attack and the justice mob demanded answers

  • White knights actually scare women. It was definite my FWB wanted me to ensure she got to her taxi just fine, even noting to walk on the opposite side to where white knight was standing.

  • Taking a strong stance against anyone attacking anyone does not need a raised voice. It needs dominance and the presence of an actual threat, in my case calling the cops on this woman.

  • Some FWBs can be quite loyal when it comes to the crunch. I maintained frame when I refused to give crazy woman a car ride home. I remained ambivalent when my FWB said she needed to get her friend home. I demonstrated outcome independence when she turned up and I was just about to go to sleep, I wasn't waiting for her. All of these things she took in, processed in her mind and appeared grateful for. Put it this way, I got more than breakfast made for me this morning.


I went out again last night for band stuff. As I drove home, some dickhead took a roundabout the wrong way (he was pissing about I would wager) and almost head-on crashed into me. Thank fuck for ABS.

But, it did give me a big reminder. My car has a dash-cam. When the whole thing kicked off, I made the decision to drive over to the incident rather than walk. It turns out this was a better idea than I had initially thought. My car's dash camera is automatic so I don't have to remember to turn it on, it goes on with the car's ignition and stays on. Also when we had arrived at the incident and got out, I had left my ignition keycard in the slot absent mindedly. But that meant the electrics were still on and yep, the dash cam rolled the whole time.

Now, it hasn't captured the entire fight, the beginning is missing. But it's very clear who is doing the beating and aside from some blurriness as it adjusts for light while I'm driving across the car park, it does capture enough blows delivered by the Friend.

The audio is useless and after we split them up there are only a few times where you see any of us. It's mostly people just milling around, a lot of white knight footage but importantly, it does capture the beating, where FWB was pushing her friend back across to the bench and the Samaritans who had previously been gawping near another bench deciding that would be the time to intervene. And it has captured when I was talking with FWB in the car about her taking her Friend home. An interesting conversation that I wish I could post. You hear more the second time around...

I doubt there is enough there for a conviction or any sort of unquestionable evidence. But you never ever know and I have now backed all of it up. Like I say it's not a headshot piece of footage in my dumbass opinion, but there is enough there.

I spoke with FWB (nobody else knows about my dashcam footage for now). It seems that the Boyfriend had a good conversation with the friend he went to after it all went down. I mean, he had to explain the battlescars. It seems the guy the boyfriend stayed with talked sense into him and he wants to move his stuff out of the flat. Of course the Friend is in pieces, life ruined, etc.

I just told FWB that it's her own damned fault and she's lucky not to be behind bars. There was a little bit of half baked defense, I got the sense that she had been trying to support her friend, bought into some of her bullshit like "It was only the first time" and "How can't he see past this one little thing" and "She is sorry and wants to make it work" and all this crap. A few gentle reminders about the kick in the balls that even FWB herself gasped at and asking her to consider how she would feel if someone had kicked her in the vagina like that. Not a prospect she relished.

I think initially she was trying to figure what I would tell the police if it ever came to that. Instead of answering, I just put it back on her that if it was the boyfriend doing the beating what she'd tell the police.

By the end of the call, I don't think it had taken much effort for her to come back round to her senses and realize that her friend was a nutter. She ended up saying that the Friend wasn't her "best friend" and that she had "only known her a few years" and otherwise trying to disassociate herself. FWB is definitely under the impression that if she keeps her Friend around I won't be and that she should really get some sense and distance herself from her regardless.

Who knows whether she will or not. But that's the minor update over the last 48 hours.

Women and their fucking dramas!

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP 183 points184 points  (24 children)

Exceptional FR. Personally I think situations like these have no perfect way to handle them given the way the law operates (i.e. in some domestic abuse situations, after the woman has hit the man and there is a visible sign of injury, the police will just arrest the man without any questions.) You did extremely well OP.

As practical advice for all Red Pill men... if any woman you're involved with shows signs of attempting violence against you, it is an automatic hard next regardless of circumstances. No ifs or buts.

My interpretation of this FR reminds me of something similar which happened to me, without the escalation to violence. I would say that she saw your high SMV and resented what she couldn't have. Attempts to shame you would have demonstrated you were beta and so nothing to want anyway. But you held frame and batted away her nonsense very well. So were obviously not beta. As she gets more and more upset about the fact you're high SMV and she can't have you, she throws a temper tantrum like the child she is and then lays into her punching bag... literally.

Women will call high SMV men "asshole" in two different tones of voice depending on where they perceive their own SMV. He's an asshole with a smile and adoring eyes if she thinks he's within reach. He's an asshole with venom and hatred if his SMV is too high for her and she can't have him. (Therefore must sabotage him and make sure he gets with no woman. But that never works. It's just petulant childish behaviour driven by jealousy. Or maybe it's the old fallacy about "I don't want that" which you couldn't have anyway.)

I've received both statements in a night before with a mate, his gf and her friend. My mate was well aware that I did nothing remotely different or offensive either at the start or end of the night. However his gf cock blocked me expertly. Her friend was lapping up the kino and taking pictures with me... (Then begging for it not to be put up on facebook because "they'll know I slept with him." -yes, I found that particular choice of words interesting too, so it stuck in my memory.) then goes to the bathroom and when she comes back I brush against her arm and she practically cried rape. While my mate wouldn't blame his gf, he certainly noticed a very distinct shift in her friend's behaviour. He'd seen her lapping up my attention earlier and figured she was just a crazy woman. We know better gentlemen. My mate's gf must have subtly hinted that her friend's social status would have been at risk if she continued enjoying herself with me. Standard cockblock. But I'd say there's similar feminine hypergamy influences causing it.

[–][deleted] 51 points51 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP 54 points55 points  (11 children)

This is an excellent point and a good catch. Part of what feminism tries to do is a sort of unionisation of pussy. They try to force the best deal regardless of how talented the worker is. So the laziest, loosest, ugliest pussy can still charge top dollar despite giving inferior service.

Not only does a woman giving up sex so easy lower the price of sex which is bad for women as a whole in terms of their bargaining position. A girl who is an SMV 6 sees a man she would like to have commitment from. She then sees an SMV 7 or 8 giving him sex without commitment... she is literally priced out of the market completely. If other men she desires cotton onto this... it doesn't matter that her SMV is 6 and it's higher than a girl who is a 4, she's still quite literally worthless in the marketplace because everything she wants to buy is priced at 8 or above. This is quite literally a woman's worst fear.

[–]anon445 3 points4 points  (10 children)

Is "cottoned on" a slang term or something? Both you and op said it, and I can't tell if they're coincidental typos or they mean something on their own.

[–]1Paid_Internet_Troll 9 points10 points  (1 child)

It's regional slang. I heard it a lot growing up in the Midwest, and also hear it a lot from people who were raised in the South, but almost nobody from the West or Northeast uses it.

[–]mrrooftops 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most of the Angloshpere use it.

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP 17 points18 points  (6 children)

Yeah, it's a colloquial phrase. Means realising something which isn't obvious.

Use Google next time. You're here to ask questions, sure... but not ones you can find out on your own. Try your own research before asking questions in the future. You need to start taking the lead in your own masculine development.

[–]fingerthemoon -1 points0 points  (0 children)

cotton onto


To get to know or understand something. Origin

The phrase 'cotton on to', with the above meaning, appears to be limited in usage to the UK and other countries that were previously part of the British Empire, notably Australia and New Zealand. In the USA, especially in the southern states, 'cotton to' is used, with the slightly modified meaning of 'take a liking to'.

As early as 1648, in a pamphlet titled Mercurius Elencticus, mocking the English parliament, the royalist soldier and poet Sir George Wharton used 'cotton', or as it was spelled then 'cotten', as a verb meaning 'to make friendly advances'. 'Cotten up to' and 'cotten to' were both used to mean 'become friendly with'. Whether this was as a reference to the rather annoying predisposition of moist raw cotton to stick to things or whether it alluded to moving of cotton garments closer together during a romantic advance isn't clear. John Camden Hotten, in his Slang Dictionary, 1869, opted for the former derivation:

Cotton, to like, adhere to, or agree with any person; "to COTTON on to a man," to attach yourself to him, or fancy him, literally, to stick to him as cotton would.

The number of citations that use 'cottening' in a courtship context and the use of the 'cottening up' variant would suggest the latter is more likely; for example, William Congreave's comic play Love for Love, 1695:

I love to see 'em hug and cotten together, like Down upon a Thistle.

The attaching of cotton strands to the bobbins of weaving looms is sometimes also cited as a source of 'cottoning on', but there appears to be no basis for that notion. None of the early citations of the phrase mention that context.

'Cottoning on' as we now use it derives from the meaning of 'attaching oneself to something', specifically an attachment to an idea that we haven't encountered before. It would seem to be a reasonable bet that at least one of the variants of this phrase would have been coined in one of the major English-speaking cotton producing regions of the world, for example India or the USA. Not so; which gives more credibility to the notion that this phrase has little to do with the cotton plant. 'Cotton to' was coined in the UK and the first widespread uses of 'cotton on to' were in New Zealand and Australia. The earliest example that I can find of this is from the New South Wales newspaper The Maitland Mercury & Hunter River General Advertiser, March 1883, reporting on a local horse race:

A lot [of backers] then cottoned on to Sahara, who was a strong favourite.

This citation was closely followed by a reference in a New Zealand newspaper The Wanganui Herald, June 1893:

The Kaierau forwards are just beginnng to cotton on to the passing game.

It seems that 'cotton to', 'cotton on to' all derive from the same root source, that is, the verb 'to cotton'. In the UK and its antipodes it has settled down as 'cotton on to', with the meaning 'form an understanding of' and in the USA it is 'cotton to', with the 'take a liking to' meaning.

[–]ZippyTheSpaceMonkey 16 points17 points  (4 children)

He's an asshole with venom and hatred if his SMV is too high for her and she can't have him. (Therefore must sabotage him

maybe this is where harpy feminazis are. Their SMV is so low that all men must be shamed.

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP 19 points20 points  (3 children)

This is actually a complex one because it's really obvious that a lot of feminists are not attractive. So it's tempting to put the whole thing down to an attempt to subvert the SMP because of the fact that feminism has had a significant impact on both the SMP and RMP.

However you've got to remember that women play everything between the lines. It's never up front. This is why womanese is such a needlessly complex and sometimes contradictory language. Once you reconcile this with the way women drag down competition, while men try to exceed the competition... you'll start to get an idea of why a creature that is mostly led by her emotions of the moment, will try to play nice with a man they like one minute and then try to tear him down in a jealous rage the next. The jealousy is the unique factor here. Women will typically disqualify themselves from pursuing men who are significantly above their SMV because they know it will hurt their social status for appearing to have such poor social skills. (i.e. they can't read the signals or the sexual hierarchy and are therefore of low value. It's similar to a man who can't game for shit. Once he's found out, his poor social skills make his SMV plummet.)

However the emotions strike in a moment where she feels entitled to have the attention of a man and his SMV is in range, then she suddenly realises that it isn't. Her perceptions of the gap were false and the ego defence mechanisms jump into play, getting the hamster running to protect her image of her SMV - the hamster does have a purpose for women to ensure they keep their standards high and only accept a high quality partner... even when they're shit. Hence the 20/80 rule regardless of the fact that a woman's SMV falls on a scale which demonstrates a normal distribution. Irrational things can usually be explained as rational if they are pragmatic.

[–]fingerthemoon 1 point2 points  (2 children)

What's RMP? I searched urbandictionary and the Updated Glossary of Terms and Acronyms with no answer found.

Relationship Market Place? Real Market Place?

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Relationship Market Place?

Winner winner, chicken dinner.

The RMP isn't discussed much on here these days. I am not so certain why... there is an excellent collection of LTR game posts from years back, but not so much anymore.

[–]fingerthemoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your time to answer and your contributions to the betterment of man.

[–]kawazuswiss 4 points4 points [recovered]

Lawmakers and law-bringers consist of white knights.

[–]throwaway_holla 11 points12 points  (0 children)

We know better gentlemen.

"We know better, gentlemen."

Without the comma it means "We know gentlemen who are better".

[–]ECoast_Man 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My interpretation of this FR reminds me of something similar which happened to me, without the escalation to violence. I would say that she saw your high SMV and resented what she couldn't have

This is exactly what is going on. I said elsewhere- she is either alpha-widowed or just a cock hungry feminist. Women hate submissive betas like her BF. Her feelz overcame her.

[–]peoplearejustpeople9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, the way you put it makes me think it wasn't her fault. Like she wasn't in control of herself. So, it'd be unethical to put her in prison because she was just following her female prerogative and the boyfriend was just under control of society and thus couldn't hit her to put her in her place. I hope this doesn't make me sound like a White Knight because this brings up issues about male violence as well.

Correctional facilities should be more than just cages.

[–]holytrpbatman 70 points71 points  (5 children)