Red Pill TheoryHow to know you are dating a slut. Source: I married one. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by improvy

So long story short, I am in the process of divorce. My wife cheated on me less than three fucking months after our marriage. It was later disclosed that she had sex with a guy in a public park, without a condom, before we were married but while we were living together. I am a total beta in recovery, and slowly reading up and working on myself. Here is a pattern that my slut wife exhibited and I'm sure applies to many more sluts in the wild that you should be aware of.

1. She approached you. Because you are such a pussy, momma's boy faggot, its most likely that she picked you and not the other way around. She gave you strong signals of interest and pretty much took the lead.

2. She is more social than you. Because sluts and whores crave attention above all, they tend to be heavily involved in social events, parties, get togethers and just overall more outgoing than you.

3. She is not feminine. Well you are not masculine yourself, buddy, so you get your equal SMV match. A lot of sluts are tomboys, active and vocal. They can dress slutty, but often don't have the classic feminine characteristics like long hair, feminine hobbies and interests or knows how to cook.

4. She has mostly guy friends. Not many girlfriends, cuz ya know, "Girls are so weird and mean". But plenty of male orbiters that are just long time friends. If she has more male friends than you, that's a problem. 9 out of 10 times some of those guy friends already fucked her/made out with her and will jump on any physical opportunity when she is alone, single or not.

5. She has daddy/mommy issues and/or divorced parents. Well, in our day and age, being a child of divorced parents is becoming the rule and not the exception. But still, most sluts come from ugly divorces and she has some major relationship problems with her parents. Especially with the Father.

6. She was molested in her youth. This is no joking matter, and nothing to goad about. But still, experience and various statistics show that a negative and inappropriate sexual history in her teens is a solid precursor for a problematic sexuality in the present. After learning about this point, I totally went "white knight" and tried to hamster her behavior and make it fine. Fellow men, remember this: You can feel sorry for a woman and sympathize with her but you DON'T have to be with her. It doesn't make you a bad person. Everybody have issues and a fucked up history, the real test is how we scratch our way out of the hole and become adults. Most hardcore criminals in prison have a messed up upbringing. Do they get a pussy pass? No.

7. She is bad with money/supported by her family/shit job. It is very likely that she is financially irresponsible, has some debt over stupid shit (clothing and various vocations vs school debt). It is also likely that her parents help her out financially for years, and there is this dark shit cloud of money=emotional control bond between her and her parents. More often than not, they have a dead end, shitty job with very low prospects into turning it into a full blown career.

8. People hit on her in front of you. Plenty of harmless and innocent "misunderstandings". I cringe when I type this, but it was not uncommon for guys to hit on her while we were hanging out together or sharing a space. Bars, work, and definitely when she was by herself. She will laugh it off and say she is just so social, and guys always pick up on the wrong signals. She will not mention being in a relationship and she will radiate sexuality and approachability via her body language, eye contact, intense and intimate conversation, smiling or clothing to other men. "Didn't you tell him you were not single?" "Oh, it just never came up". Yeah right.

9. She likes to drink. Sluts at their core know that their behavior is wrong and they fear being judged by their peers. They will cultivate a holy than you approach in her social circle. Drinking will make all those responsible pesky feelings and thoughts go away and she will embrace alcohol with a vengeance. If she can drink as much/more than you; Bad News Bear.

10. She smokes. Smoking is a great and wonderful outlet for women to be in a very intimate one on one situation with a man with a perfect deniability of intent. If you do not smoke, don't date somebody who does. You will always wonder what is going on in the smoking corner, or be that clueless beta that stands near their smoking spouse and other smoking persons being the only straight edge one. Most escalations with taken women that happen at parties follow a similar pattern: Drinks with a guy, Smokes with a guy that will turn to intimate conversation and then to an inappropriate behavior. IF YOU DON'T SMOKE AND SHE DOES DANGER WILL ROBINSON.

11. She likes to go without you and drink. It could be ladies night out, it could be a guy friends house party. If she goes without you and gets drunk once a week or more that is a bad sign.

12. She is jealous at you more than you are jealous of her. This is a strange one. I had complete trust in her and always complimented her, with very seldom expressions of jealousy and insecurity on my part. If a girl even smiled at me wrong or lightly flirted with me when she was around she would get extremely jealous turning it into a four hour insecurity accusation fest. It is ironic that the person most being afraid of being cheated on (My slut wife) ends up doing the repeated cheating herself.

13. She cheated previously on somebody else. Well, no shit Sherlock. But when you are "In Love" and she is sharing a beautiful pearl of truth like that with you, don't assume: "She was young and inexperienced, the guy she dated was abusive/shit/low quality. We on the other hand have True Love and this will never happen". Think instead, "How many months in is she going cheat and with how many people?"

14. You started an LTR shortly after a crazy sex on the first date situation. You started to date after a first meeting one night stand, thought it was a magical connection. "Yeah, it was sleazy all right, but she is not a slut or gives sex easily. We had this once in a lifetime connection and the fast and easy sex just meant how in love she was with me.) No it wasn't you fool. When you bang a chick you don't know, with no rubber, in an open space, with people not far away, it's no Disney Love Story, you dumbass. You just banged a Hoe. Most men bang them and call it a night, they certainly don't date them.

15. She had multiple abortions. I don't have anything against abortions but it does show poor planning, poor impulse control and just stupid immature character. Use pills, make the guys wear a condom, get on permanent birth control (IUD's). If you have 2+ abortions before you are 24 years of age, that is a major red flag.

To summarize. Don't be stupid like I was. Sluts; Fuck em, don't marry them.

User submitted additional signs:

16. She has major emotional stability issues (i.e. Bipolar, BPD, etc). When going through either manic phase (or sometimes even depression), some girls will want to fuck, and if you are not around, anybody will do. User kranos33

17. She has gay friends. Because they are non judgmental "you just sucked a guy in the toilets? You go girl!!" User Movonnow

18. She gaslights, e.g. creates a problem and then blames you for it.

19. Is insecure about her image and seeks validation by the act of sleeping around. User Year3030

Edit: Thanks for the gold, TRP stranger. Glad my shitty experience can perhaps help some of you in the future. I am fine and will be OK. Going to the gym tonight. Starting my long and hard journey of self improvement, first thing on the menu: Gotta bulk up.

[–]kranos33 68 points69 points  (42 children)

18. She has major emotional stability issues (i.e. Bipolar, BPD, etc). When going through either manic phase (or sometimes even depression), some girls will want to fuck, and if you are not around, anybody will do.

[–]Areimanes 54 points55 points  (37 children)

Note to everyone: if a girl has Borderline Personality Disorder, don't date her. Don't emotionally invest in her. Don't befriend her. Fuck, I'd say don't even plate her.

They have a way of getting under your skin and pealing off your emotional armour - especially if they're hot (and they're always crazy good at sex) - that even the most RedPilled TRPer would have a hard time withstanding. If you're a newbie, chances are you'll get fucked emotionally.

Pump & Dump women with BPD. Nothing else.

Source: fist hand experience.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (2 children)

4 months into swallowing the pill and a year and a half long relationship with a girl with BPD is what brought me here.

STAY AWAY! It is not worth it. I have her blocked from absolutely every media outlet but she stills tries to contact me. They are amazing actors. They have no empathy. They live to lie. They cheat, and they do it well.

And most of all, they take their time to open up to you. I did not know about her BPD until 5 months into the relationship. I was already hooked and her had so much ammo to dish out at me. They find out what in the very core of your heart, what means the most to you, and they declare Total War against you. You will leave a conversation feeling like YOU'RE the crazy one. And in a few hours they will be crawling back, begging forgivness, telling you none of its true.

Women with BPD will not often tell you they have it. Look at the list in the OPs post, a lot of them can also be used to spot a borderline. The BIGGEST indication is a lack of female friends. Borderlines use their sexuality to make friends, women see right through their shit.

[–]1Zanford 18 points19 points  (5 children)

I'd classify crazy chicks as 'Expert Mode' - don't mess with them unless your game is at the point where you can easily deflect shit tests and frame challenges, avoid catching feelings for her, and MOST importantly, keep the girl isolated from your social and professional life so she can't sabotage 'em later.

Maybe record your sex sessions so she can't FRA. Good news is that, in my experience, crazy chicks are the most willing to let you make dirty pics and vids with em.

Also, telling your later girls the crazy stories of their stalker obsession can lend a weird sort of preselection

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (4 children)

No. They are not a mode. Stay away.

These are the women who sperm jack, lie about rape, stab you, assault you and claim you attacked them.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

My ex has accused 3 men of rape, not in courts but amongst friends. She's a BPD. also my first BPD gf told me she was molested when I broke up with her.

[–]2niczar 7 points8 points  (1 child)

BPD is strongly associated with childhood abuse, but since they lie so fucking much, it's basically impossible to know if it's true.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've wondered the same thing myself with 2 BPD s I know

[–]zestysteve 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Don't date anyone with BPD, I ignored this and married one. The problem is, I was a beta and didn't know it.
Heed this warning, Heed it hard. When you're 19 and don't know what to do about life or women, just fuck em. I thought everything was ok, albeit it wasn't, but then a baby came and that shot the BPD into high gear, high mother fucking gear. Everything in op's statement was leading me to believe he had married my ex. Until the smoking statement and the going out alone statement. This broad would throw fits if she wasn't invited out with the guys... Typing this is incredibly difficult, cause I can look back and say WTF were you doing. Honestly, I still don't know if I know what I'm doing. The happy ending is that I got full custody of my daughter and couldn't be happier. No fight from the slore, cause that would interfere with her party life.

I love my daughter. The problem is, I would do it again for my daughter a hundred times over. God damn feels.

[–]MrArtfulDodger 4 points5 points  (18 children)

How exactly do they fuck you emotionally if you're a strong man? How do they get under your skin?

[–]Areimanes 25 points26 points  (6 children)

A quick write-up and certainly not in-depth from my point of view based on a relationship I had many years ago before I found TRP and I was basically blue pill incarnate. It's even embarrassing to write up, but people are here to learn from other people's mistakes:

A woman with BPD can masquerade as a perfect unicorn if she's set her eyes on you. You end up with a Jekyll and Mr. Hyde type relationship.

In the beginning, you'll only see Jekyll. She'll be a Blue Pill dream girl. Sweet, caring, nurturing. Crazy sex I can't even begin to describe. You're living the dream. You bond on a level you didn't think was possible. Until she turns into Mr. Hyde. Maybe you offended her in some way (a casual remark, not being on time, not remembering something, etc).

She grows cold, distant. You apologize and make up for it. She turns back into Jekyll and your life is sunny and honey again.

The periods where you're with Jekyll are some of the best you'll ever have and the times you're with Mr. Hyde are some of the worst.

But Mr. Hyde comes out more often and often and the ante to turn her into Jekyll again keeps going up and up.

Soon you're always with Mr. Hyde, and Jekyll only appears every now and again. You keep thinking back of the good times. You want to be with Jekyll, so you'll keep digging that hole to appease her. If only I could do 'this' and she'd turn back into Jekyll and my life would be great!

(Incidentally, dread game doesn't work on women with BPD long term. They will forget about you once they've fully turned into full-time Mr. Hyde.)

Someone reading this might think "That would never happen to me! I have the knowledge of TRP and I'll just next her!" That's true, it might not. However, as I said - this woman will mold herself to be your unicorn. If you get sucked in the spider's web - even with the knowledge of TRP and BPD - you might still not make it out before being eaten.

Fortunately I did manage to get out after I had an epiphany where I no longer cared about being with her, but it took me a few months to fully recover emotionally.

The phrase 'Go Fuck Ten Other Women' was never more apt in helping me get over her.

[–]MrArtfulDodger 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I dated a girl with BPD for a three months and I only saw Jekyll for 99% of the relationship. However, there were a few times where red flags popped up in my head and I thought to myself, "What the fuck?" For example, she is self-conscious about her food habits and I told her that peanut butter overall is not healthy and she yelled," Stop!" out of fucken nowhere. I literally saw her eyes change from mellow and innocent to what looked like demons emerging from her soul through her eyes. Crazy shit. Her eyes went crazy. And there were also some moments where I would catch her emotionally checking out. What I mean by that is she would just stare at me like nobody was home. It was fucken creepy and her eyes looked black and empty. She was checking out of reality which I'm thinking was a defense mechanism created when she went through rough shit when she was a child (this is speculation but many woman who deal with this can be attributed to a rough child such as a parent not giving her love). The term is called disassociating. I didn't realize some of these signs until after the relationship ran its course. There were red flags all over the place looking back but this image she displayed of being the girl of your dreams overshadowed these flags popping up. Another red flag was when she came over once and was in a bad mood. She was irritable and sad. Then I said something funny and she was dying laughing and crying she was laughing so hard. A 180 degree mood swing in less than a couple seconds.

The thing is I kept pretty strong boundaries from the start. If she did something I didn't like I told her I don't respect that and I don't want to see you do that around me. Creating strong boundaries with women like this that are essentially children in adult bodies helps to control herself because she knows if she acts out of line I am valuable enough to seek other women.

To your point - I never was emotionally affected because I am a strong guy and I mostly saw her good side. The "unicorn illusion." She literally shaped herself to the image I wanted in a woman. Maybe if the relationship ran on longer I would truly see her inner demons. Overall, if I ran into another girl like this I'd make her a plate. If I saw Mr. Hyde more than I did with this girl then yea I would just peace out and cut contact.

[–]Areimanes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You played it well and held frame.

However, the normal advice for people - especially newbies - is to never get involved in the first place. It's for the same reason you cut off all contact with a Oneitis: those people aren't at that level yet emotionally where they can continue being with her on their terms without hurting themselves or being passive aggressive towards her.

They're stuck in the 'Unconscious incompetence' phase. So you give basic advice that will work. To someone in the (Un)Conscious competence phase, this advice need not apply. They're competent enough to handle themselves. However, you don't see those people asking for advice on how to deal with a Oneitis - and that's why the same advice is always given (cut off all contact, next).

[–]RaiseOnce 1 point2 points  (0 children)

and they'll rationalize it with the famous marilyn monroe quote, further proving the fact that the hamster knows no bounds.

[–]not2close 8 points9 points  (9 children)

I have BPD and I promise you there is no set rule book. We spin shit left and right. Manipulate the fuck out of someone and use them. There's no reason other than feeling alive. Sometimes we know exactly what we're doing, or sometimes we have no clue and just feeling intense pain and confusion in our head that we take it out on our SO.

One day everything is going great life seems wonderful, then a series of small bullshit things happen and you want to die because you feel worthless. It's a vicious cycle of extreme ups and downs. In our head situations don't make sense. You feel alone yet loved. You need to feel alive so you inflict pain on yourself. Oh that's enough? Let's just ruin this person trying to love us because pain causes pleasure. Yet you hate what you're doing to your SO, which causes you to hate yourself even more.

Our world is a dark twisted wonderland filled with our demons and angels constantly at war. Good luck to those willing to venture through.

[–]zestysteve 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Oh man, I remember the manipulation. She was a fucking pro at it. So much, I would get caught up in it. One day, I stopped and wondered why was she lying to everyone about everything. I guess I thought she wasn't doing that to me. I just couldn't live with the manipulation (mostly the cheating on me while I was going thru cancer treatment and raising my daughter) anymore, it was too God damn stressful. Walking on eggshells to having to pick her up off the floor when she fell flat on her face because she was piss drunk from drinking Bourbon straight from the bottle all night.

Ok, too many feels just came up.

[–]not2close 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'm truly sorry. BPD or not putting someone through that is evil. I hope you got yourself out of that relationship and things turned around.