Let's start at the very beginning. I was a kissless virgin all throughout High School and College due to doing nothing but playing video games like WoW and League of Legends all day. Once I graduated, I spent about 2 years wasting time playing video games and trying my best to hold down a job before snapping and deciding enough is enough and that I need to make changes in order to not end up a 30 year old kissless virgin or 40 years old and beyond... I started out by losing a massive amount of weight through rigorous diet and exercise. Keto diet combined with stronglifts 5x5 with one cheat day a week was the magic pill for me. The pounds came right off.
To give you an idea of where I stood at the time, here is a brief summary of my advantages and disadvantages when I started to approach girls and trying to apply the pickup stuff I read about online.
Disadvantages: Short, Below Average Face, Poor social skills, Asian Race, Overbearing Parents, Lived at home so no pull location
Advantages: Decently high paying job, extreme levels of persistence beyond what is mentally healthy (What I mean by this is I feel it's totally normal if someone where to give up after approaching 100 girls and getting blown off by every single one, but to me, it just motivates me and lights a fire in my soul to keep going and going until I get the results I'm looking for)
I started posting on RedPill asking anyone in shouting range for advice because it was clear that whatever I was doing was not working. Looking back at some of these threads, I can now laugh at how stupidly aggressive and retarded I was.
It took me 300 approached to get my first lay, 300! I set up 10 dates with absolutely no results, the one lay I had came from a random club girl that I pulled home the same night.
After finally moving to my own place, I thought that I would be able to skyrocket my results by having the ability to pull girls back to my place instead of restricting myself to only going to their place. Little did I know that 2000 approaches later, and I would only have 2 more lays. This was getting beyond ridiculous. 2000 approaches to get 3 lays? In what Universe is that remotely a good trade? A normal person would have just accepted that maybe he's just not good looking enough or smooth to succeed but like I stated before, this really didn't bother me too much and I kept digging for solutions wherever I could find, including RedPill, and various other online forums and groups. Year 2 consisted of me struggling hard, approaching girl after girl with extremely low success rates that never got much better. I even paid 3 grand for an RSD bootcamp and while it was great listening to Owen talk and talk, it turned out to be all hype. My game stayed more or less the exact same, while my excitement factor went up 5X. So instead of going out every weekend and failing like normal, I would go out every weekend super pumped up with energy levels way beyond normal and still fail. This was where even I started to get discouraged a bit. Hard not to feel like a loser when you dropped 3 grand on a bootcamp that was supposed to fix your sticking points but didn't actually do shit.
In year 3, I finally had my big breakthrough. Everything I was learning started to come together and I got to a level that I didn't think was possible, even in my wildest imagination. I've fucked hot girls from every race, from gorgeous blonde twitch streamers, to smoking hot latinas, cute Asians, exotic African women. I got to the point that if I decided to go out, no matter what, I would never leave empty handed. I would always go home with a woman. If you look at my growth chart, it would be almost no results in the beginning 2 years followed by an explosion of results in the final 6 months. I finally settled down with a blonde girl that I've been with for over half a year now and couldn't be happier. She cooks mean dishes and I don't think we've even had one verbal argument throughout our relationship, we just click.
Here are my biggest takeaways from my 3 year journey for all you future slayers and pickup artists in the making:
- Do not post your dates or listen to any advice on RedPill - Occasionally, you will get good comments from people that know what they're doing but let's face it, you're asking for advice because you suck with women and if you suck, you have very little way of distinguishing good advice from shitty advice. There is so much feel good mindset advice out there that sounds amazing but does not deliver results in practice. Don't get me wrong, RedPill is amazing when it comes to personal development advice. Lifting is awesome, Spinning plates is awesome. Just don't post your field reports here and expect to be able to tell what's good advice from an actual slayer from shitty advice from a newbie like yourself.
- Make sure your looks, fashion, hairstyle, and accessories are as maxed out as they possibly can be. Maybe if you're a naturally tall and handsome white or black guy, you can get away with just putting on a white t shirt and jeans but as a short Asian, trust me, everything adds up and you CANNOT AFFORD to have bad fashion or hairstyle. Maximizing looks is unbelievably important and will help you convert the girls that would normally autoreject you immediately upon approach. Get some blazers and trendy jeans from Zara. Get a fake rolex watch. Get a nice white guy haircut (especially important for Asians. I never see Asians with fobby haircuts doing well with other races. Get a pompadour fade and slay with every race of girls). If you're short, elevator shoes are a must. Even one inch of height makes such a big difference, you have no idea. I would recommend this as the starting point for every aspiring PUA. If you're fat, go on a keto diet and lose the pounds. If you're short, get elevator shoes.
- It's not what you say, if's how you say it and how you look while you're saying it - This is one of the biggest takeaways from my entire 3 year journey. As a beginner, it's only natural to see Pickup as a game of who can come up with the wittiest lines and comebacks. The newbie often focuses all his efforts on coming up with the perfect line for everything the girl says, which is completely wrong. The vast majority of issues in game would be solved by simply maxing out looks and perfecting TONALITY and BODY LANGUAGE. This is extremely hard to explain on text but the basic idea is that women don't really give a fuck what you say. How they determine if they like you or not is based primarily on what kind of vibe you give off. The vibe you give off is almost completely determined by your vocal TONALITY and BODY LANGUAGE. Some of the biggest mistakes of vocal tonality are not talking loud enough and talking too fast. I can almost guarantee that your results would go up a lot overnight by simply being conscious of talking 2X louder, 2X slower, and with a deeper more masculine pitch. Take your cell phone and record what you say to the girl in the bathroom mirror. Pay close attention to any nervous ticks in your facial expressions. When you first listen to your recordings you will be shocked at how bad they are. You think you sound confident but when you hear the recording, you'll see that you're talking so fast, in such a high pitched voice, and so quietly that the girl can barely understand what you're saying. No wonder you're getting rejected by so many right off the bat! Body language must be as straight as possible. Stand up against a straight wall at home and make sure your back, neck, and the back of your head are perfectly lined up in a straight line with the wall. It will feel awkward at first compared to your hunchback stance that you're used to, but soon it will feel more natural and trust me, it makes a world of difference to women. Girls can also tell if you suddenly straighten up before approaching them. Make sure you have straight and confident posture throughout your entire day, not just right before approaching girls. The easiest way to correct this is with a video camera and tripod stand. Record yourself going up and say what you'd normally say to a girl. Make sure that everything regarding your tonality and body language are perfect. Like I said, maybe if you're a tall good looking guy, you can get away with shitty tonality but as a hardcase short Asian, EVERYTHING has to be perfect.
- Practice your eye contact and use indirect observational openers - It took me a very long time to realize that direct openers do not work unless you are good looking. I get the value of direct openers, they save time and energy on both parties when you go up and say "Hey, I thought you were really adorable and I wanted to say Hi, My name is Loreing". Direct openers are more masculine and establish a man to woman frame from the beginning, if you are conventionally attractive, then by all means stop being a pussy and go direct! The problem is that unless you're conventionally good looking, the girl has NO IDEA who you are. In her head, a random ugly dude just approached her in the street. The natural thing to do is reject you. Of course there are exceptions but the easiest way to go 2000 approaches and only 3 lays is to use Direct Openers. A much better opener is "Excuse me real quick, I have a question. I was on my way to [Starbucks or any other location]. Would you mind helping me out?" When she responds, say "Thanks so much, by the way, I just noticed something about you. You have this [positive and happy vibe / any other fashion or vibe observation]. The important thing is to make sure your eye contact is ABSOLUTELY ON POINT. Focus on one eye and one eye only and make sure your eyes are laser focused on that one eye. The difference between proper laser eye contact and indirect openers and direct "I think you're adorable" openers is night and day. You will get blown out of MUCH LESS SETS, and the girl will at least hear what you have to say. You will still fail with a lot of them because you don't click but at least you won't get autorejected anymore. You will get better and better at making accurate observations and there is nothing like an accurate observation to kick off a conversation on the right foot. As long as your EYE CONTACT, tonality and body language are on point, you don't have to do much crazy game stuff. Just be natural, see if there's a connection. If there is, escalate and try to go for an instadate or grab a number. Not rocket science.
- Do not take any courses or even watch any videos from RSD - It will get you pumped up and hyped up to give them money but in terms of actual results, you'd be far better off buying a video camera with a tripod stand and taping your body language or buying an audio recorder and recording your approaches in field and METICULOUSLY pulling everything apart until it's perfect. Just about the only thing I agree with them on is that using canned pickup lines is not as good as using a more natural style of game. Other than that, it's mostly hype.
- You do not have to Go Monk Mode - There is no reason you cannot advance in your professional career and succeed with women. You do not have to sacrifice game in order to climb in your career or vice versa. There is more than enough time in the day to get good at both and you'll find that they reinforce each other. As you improve you lifestyle, your game goes up and vice versa. As your game goes up, your ability to make social connections with the people at work that matter for your long term career go up. Game and work naturally reinforce each other. No reason to go monk mode and spend years only working on yourself.
These are my observations about game from over 3 years of experience. I started out getting almost no results and constantly getting blown out of every set I approached. I ended up being able to get a girl in bed pretty much whenever I go out. My last recommendation is that you don't use the knowledge I just laid out to hurt women or manipulate them into doing things they don't want to do. Girls are people too. It's incredibly easy to get cynical and jaded after getting rejected by everyone you approach when you go out but if you keep plugging away at your weaknesses, you will solve them one by one until you become good. You will never get good by blaming women. You only get good by criticizing and working on yourself. The first time you hear yourself talk and see the way your body language comes off, I guarantee it will become abundantly clear why women autoreject your creepy ass when you approach.