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Types Of Flirting (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by UpperRedSide

Inner Game VS Actionable Techniques

How's it going my guys?

This was posted by myself on another account but I deleted all my shit because I almost got doxxed. Anyway, I’m back to posting and I found some old stuff I’d written up and thought I’d weigh in with my two cents.

Apart from groping someone, (like a rapist), or straight up telling them "I like you," (like a middle schooler), flirting is the only viable way adults have of informing someone of their interest. It’s also a question of showing interest without actually showing interest, basically clueing a girl in that your interaction could go somewhere without telegraphing any neediness.

We can go on and on about how being confident, being charismatic, and other "inner game" concepts will land you your dream girl, but let's be honest, inner game without outer is like a car with a full gas tank and a dead battery.

Some believe that learning "lines" and "techniques" to "use on girls" is sterile and inhuman and robotic, but it doesn't have to be that way. In order to engage in proper, technical flirting that is still natural and doesn't reduce you to a computer, it's important to understand the psychology behind each kind of flirting and how it makes them work. I've detailed four distinct styles of flirting that you can mix and match to supercharge your game. With each individual style of flirting comes a positive emotional response that will result from it, and while I'm no psychologist, I'm well read enough to know why.

Let me show you.

False Confrontational:

This is the act of pretending to be annoyed by, angry at, or outraged with a girl in a playful, joking way. Mock arguing, basically.

So why, and how, does this work?

When children play fight, it's beneficial to social development and can result in feelings of comfort and rapport between or among them, and has also shown to help them in forming bonds with their peers.

Being "false confrontational" is a form of socio-dramatic play that accomplishes all of the above. Below are a few examples. You can use these exact lines if you want to, but you likely won't have to, since understanding the underlying concept should give you the ability to make up your own:

"Ugh I hate you."

"What am I gonna do with you?"

"I can't believe you!"

"Are you trying to get your ass kicked?"

"Go. Leave, Get away from me."

"You do not want to fuck with me."

"Ugh! Sometimes I just can't stand you."

I think I don't have to explain that your delivery should be congruent with your intentions. If you say something like this to a girl with a scowl on your face, or even remotely serious in any way, you're gonna make yourself look like an asshat and no woman is going to want to be within five miles of you, (unless she has mental issues.) Any of these lines, or any line similar, delivered with a smile and exaggerated bravado is sure to get a real laugh out of any girl.

Framing The Girl:

This is one of my favorite. "Framing the girl" is the act of accusing the girl of being the sexual aggressor in your interactions. Your words and actions portray that she is trying to get in your pants, not vice versa. This works because it's reverse psychology. Girls don't want an easy guy. They want to feel as if they've made a "catch." They want to work for it, and feel like they've won something in the end. That's why everyone says you should act like "the prize," because girls like to win. If you end up on a date with this girl or you end up sleeping together, you want her to feel like it was kinda her idea. Examples are below:

"Why are you hitting on me?"

"Do you say that to all the guys?"

"Whoa, slow down cowgirl. I'm a proper southern christian man.“

“Are you always this forward?”

"Hey. Let's get to know one another first."

"Nice try, but talking like that isn't gonna get you in my pants."

"Stop flirting with me!"

"Did you just look at my ass?"

"Flattery isn't gonna get you laid sweetheart."

“You just want me for my body.”

I've used these before, and let me tell you, the responses are priceless. Along with most of them being flat out hilarious, the less a girl felt pressured into having sex with me, the more open she was to the idea. In fact, the more closed off you appear to having sex, the more she’ll take it as a challenge. That’s why if she says she doesn’t fuck on the first date and you respond by asking her why she’s talking about sex when you only just met and say you don’t fuck until the twentieth date, all of a sudden she’s trying to fuck you in the venue bathroom that very day.

You're So X It's Just Like Y:

This is the simple act of comparing the girl to something else in a silly, teasing, goofy kind of way.

Studies have shown that girls are often very attracted to something called "benevolent sexism." This is basically when a man treats a woman as lesser, but in a protector, caretaker kind of way. Woman want to feel smaller near their man. That doesn't mean they want to feel put down on an emotionally damaging level, but just remember that some girls call their SOs "daddy" in bed, and that should put things in perspective. The simple template is that the X is an adjective and the Y is a noun, but both are humorous, if not slightly demeaning:

"You're so adorable. You're like a (small woodland animal.)"

"Your ears are so cute. It's like you're Dumbo."

"You're so small it's just like an oompa loompa. I bet you get turned away when trying to get on theme park rides."

Think endearment in a patronizing way, similar to how you'd take the piss out of your kid sister if you have one.

Push/Pull:

Push Pull is the simple act of making two statements that are polar opposite one after the other. Giving someone a compliment in one clause and teasing them in the next is a perfect template. The reason Push Pull works so well with girls (I like to call it the holy grail of flirting) is because when you use it, you speak their language. Girls are experts at playing hot and cold and screwing with other's emotions, hence they go absolutely apeshit when it's done to them. "You're hot and you're cold/You're yes and you're no" in the immortal words of Katy Perry. They go on a mini emotional roller coaster and remain guessing throughout your entire interaction. They eat that shit up. Examples below:

"I usually go for the dark haired girls, but I think I can make an exception."

"If you were blonde you'd be perfect."

"That's so weird. I love it."

"You're such a little shit. I like you."

"That's an odd color. It looks amazing on you."

You know, I actually kinda like you, it's just that, sometimes I can't stand you."

"I hate you so much." Push “I'm just kidding come here." Pull close.

In closing

Now that you have very specific outlines on how to flirt, your game should improve by leaps and bounds. I see so many individuals on this subreddit asking for "actionable steps." If only they knew exactly what to say, when to say it, and why they are saying it.

I get that.

I've always been less interested in concepts, more hungry for the action itself.

Inner game is important, but flirting is a skill that can be deduced into a science. I hope I've helped some of you chumps out.

Namaste.


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[–]1INNASKILLZ2K18 89 points90 points  (9 children)

Good post, brother.

I think it's true. You need to have an understanding of outter game, dynamics. That's true in almost any context where you interact with people, for a specific reason or purpose. Otherwise things just die down to general rambling or small talk. No direction.

The key, though, is having this shit up your sleeve. Not pre-preparing shit like a PUA. This all comes out in 'the flow'.

These are some really simple techniques, which most importantly illicit an emotional response.

I really like your explanation of push pull. A lot of the time I see the push and pull split up. For example,a guy will say the push, then wait for a response, then try to pull.

That's a little dangerous, as it leaves it open for you to think you're a cunt. The push pull done this quick, is like a bomb to the hamster. You're actually pulling, just with a little something to make the hamster go 'hang on, what did he just say'?

Anyway, good post. Always good to see outter game concepts, not scripts.

[–]hazelstein 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Let's eat Dick!
Let's eat, Dick!

Proper commas can save you a lot of faggotry.

[–]Zenith8 35 points36 points  (2 children)

Do you, realize, how, to use commas?

[–]fds_1 6 points7 points  (4 children)

PUA doesn't prepare shit, get your facts right. The artists actually advise against it. What I got from PUA is a system not a script.

[–]1INNASKILLZ2K18 9 points10 points  (3 children)

How'd they go teaching you not to take shit so personally 😂

[–]fds_1 3 points4 points  (2 children)

This isn't be being hurt, this is me whenever people say dumb shit without any knowledge on it.

[–]1INNASKILLZ2K18 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yes. This is you angry. Which means you've personalised it.

[–]fds_1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can't read my emotions through a text. Also, stop making excuses and just admit you were wrong.

[–]Churff 21 points22 points  (3 children)

Thank you so much for the push pull piece, I’ve been here for 2 and a half years and still didn’t have a full grasp of it. I’ll definitely be bookmarking this, great post

[–]Onein1024th 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Seconded. I needed this post a year ago. 10/10

[–]revente -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Then maybe leave "here" and go test shit in action yourself.

[–]Churff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow bro you’re so cool bro can I be like you? How can I be like you?

[–]NoKoala4 39 points40 points  (3 children)

This is a great post, we need more of these type of stuff, more context for beginners.

[–]Endorsed ContributorPopeman79 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Yeah this is old-school TRP, the good stuff: straight to the point, concrete examples and explanation of why they work.

We need more of this and less novels about some anecdotal bullshit.

[–]KagoKija 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I miss those old trp posts - any way I can easily access them?

[–]DAOcomment2 33 points34 points  (1 child)

You're like a wise little seduction buddha. Are you trying to make me waste time on reddit? I hate how much I love it. I don't usually upvote posts. Now leave me alone, OP. Wait. Come here. Hold still. There's something in your eye.

[–]AlphaTrumpsfapping 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Me: There's different type of flirting?!

[–]EdmondDaunts 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Great post.

To bring in another concept from another post, you must also watch for disengagement and determine if you want to continue flirting and building the possibilities.

Watch what they do not what they say. But sometimes watch how they say stuff. There is nothing wrong in being told to essentially fuck off. Hopefully it doesn’t get to that. But listening to tone is also essential and comes with practice. And that applies to all relationships.

Women often have other shit going on and even cultural differences. So you may need to calibrate. At times if it doesn’t work end the interaction but don’t hold a grudge.

Move on.

[–]UpperRedSide[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Very good analysis. Totally agree. It’s always time better spent pursuing interested prospects than trying to get disinterested ones. A good skill to learn is the skill to move on. Not grudgingly, but pick your battles.

[–]1INNASKILLZ2K18 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She's either yes, no or maybe. Why I go in totally outcome independent

[–]GodOfDinosaurs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"False Confrontational" and "You're so X it's just like Y" are incredibly effective and easy to pull off. These come pretty naturally if you're a playful person. Every girl I've been with LOVES being compared to a 'small woodland creature'. It makes them feel small and cute, which makes them feel sexual. Good post

[–]ArdAtak 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very concise. Great examples. Thanks.

[–]coolsilver 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Don't forget the importance of physical flirting. Being playful and teasing with touch can also get very good results. The more you enter her space the more comfortable she will be later on. If she doesn't resist early on you can be certain she at least has some interest.

[–]UpperRedSide[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes. I’m probably gonna make a write up of kinesthetic flirting and compliance testing. There’s a lot to discuss and it would be too much to add to this post.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea bro just run cat string theory game on a women, out of the 100s of guys chasing her im sure ull stand out more for what you say rather than your physical appearance. Just speak to my bro entrepreneur in cars, its all about masculine energy who just so happens to be over 6 foot tall

[–]yomo86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like it. It's like in the Army. You cannot prepare for a specific battle 100% but having nailed down some basics can be the difference between a decivice victory or utter defeat.

[–]Keyboard_Warrior805 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy shit, I've been doing all of these and I never even realized it

[–]CalfsOnDeck -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

This is cancer, wtf did I just read.

[–]UpperRedSide[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What kind of cancer? I’m hoping it’s bone cancer and you die of it. :)