Rant/VentingMen are not happy (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by TRP VanguardArchwingerx5

About once every month or two, there’s a post somewhere on Reddit, by a woman, saying something like, “My boyfriend suddenly started doing Red Pill stuff and now I want out,” followed by 4-6 paragraphs explaining how her boyfriend is now a controlling, abusive asshole who works out and wants sex (because these traits are, of course, very, very unique to The Red Pill, and any guy who exhibits them obviously went online, found us, and we ruined him). These threads get seized upon by our detractors, who eagerly point out: “See? See!? The Red Pill doesn’t ‘work’ ! It just ends relationships and turns guys into assholes!”

Independent of what is and is not actually “Red Pill behavior,” situations like these are based a bad assumption. Simply put, in examples like this, the lamenting woman has presupposed that prior to her man’s “changes”, their relationship was actually good, and he was actually happy. Then he ruined everything by reading some bullshit online that told him how his relationship ought to be, then trying to implement it.

This begs the question: If the relationship was fine before the boyfriend went all Red Pill on his woman, why is he trying to change things? Why did he go on the internet and seek out the manosphere? If he’s happy with his relationship the way it is, why is he trying to find ways to improve his sex life and become more assertive? (All of this, of course, assumes that a) the stories presented on Reddit are true; and b) the man actually sought out The Red Pill and didn’t just stop kissing his girlfriend’s ass for any number of other reasons.)

The Red Pill is here because men aren’t happy. They don’t want to be sweet and sensitive and do things for women all day long and be the “perfect boyfriend,” while having subpar sex once every six weeks, paying out the ass for expensive dates and gifts, sacrificing personal time, and getting bitched at and threatened with a break-up if any of this perfect behavior ever dips slightly. They don’t want to give backrubs and footrubs, stay at home one weekend a month while their women have a night out with the girls, get disrespected and talked about behind their backs, get cheated on (but just harmless, meaningless mistakes that don’t really count!), and get berated when they push back against any of this. They don’t want to let women move in, rent-free, and get pressured to buy a ring for a four-digit number of dollars and tie their finances to someone who makes less than half as much money, just because they’ve been “dating awhile” and “it’s time” and they’re “supposed to.”

Sure, everything’s hunky-dory for these girlfriends, but for the men, everything is NOT happy. Everything is NOT going well. And men are sick of it.

When a 28-year-old man with an entitled bitch of a girlfriend of 5 years stumbles across the Red Pill, he reads stories about men not so much older than he is who don’t have or want girlfriends. They don’t need a girlfriend because they have four or five women fucking their brains out on a regular basis outside of a relationship. They barely spend a cent on dates or activities. They barely lift a finger to impress women. But girls can’t seem to get enough of them.

And what these men do seems so simple. Work out, focus on your career, practice your social skills and get confident, develop useful skills and interesting hobbies – essentially, quit wasting time. Read non-fiction instead of fiction, watch less TV, play less video games, quit jerking off to porn, spend that time doing something that makes you physically, mentally, or socially better. The Red Pill tells men that their time is valuable, and to use it well. Hand in hand with that, The Red Pill tells men that since their time is their most valuable resource, quit wasting it on women when you’re not getting something of equal value in return. If your girlfriend is ugly, sexually ungenerous, lazy, or just an entitled bitch that expects you to do all kinds of crap for her just to maintain the pleasure of having a girlfriend, is it really worth all of the time and energy you expend? When you could be doing something that actually improves your life?

The Red Pill exists because many men aren’t happy. Because these relationships that are allegedly “just fine” are very much NOT just fine. Because men are giving so much to their women and getting so little, with the assumption that merely existing – merely being a presence in the man’s life – is all a woman needs to do to become his highest priority. That men should be falling over themselves getting in line for the right to say “I have a girlfriend,” and nothing more. Men are sick of this.

Guys in the “my man went Red Pill and ruined our relationship” Reddit posts probably aren’t actually going to internet sites to get an instruction manual for how to piss off their girlfriends. They’re just normal guys who know in the pit of their stomach that something is wrong – that they’re wasting their lives, and that they’re not happy. It’s not their girlfriends’ fault, it’s theirs. And they decide one day, for whatever reason, to try to take control of their lives, of their relationships, and build something they’re actually proud of. And steps 1 and 2 of that process involve asserting yourself and living the way you want, and expecting the people with whom you associate (e.g., your woman) to add value to your life equal to the value you’re expending. The rest of the world shorthands that behavior as “being an asshole,” and “ruining relationships.” How sad is that? Honestly and confidently pursuing the life you want, and expecting others to hold up their end of a relationship is the new Hitler.

[–][deleted] 147 points147 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]HDThoreauaway 27 points28 points  (6 children)

an LTR is a closer relationship that calls for more compromise, but men are trained by culture to not compromise, just give in.

TRP doesn't talk a whole lot about how to effectively compromise, though. I suspect if you posted a thread entitled, "Effective compromising The Red Pill Way," it'd be chock-full of blue arrows in no time.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (2 children)

I think members of TRP are aware of its radical element. By this, I mean, TRP members aren't coming here to learn how to "effective communicate". They're learning when and how to stand their ground.

TRP advocates some hardball tactics. Members are supposed to recognize when hardball isn't called for.

It would be like advocating a more liberal use of the impeachment process, or a more restrained and limited use of judicial activism. It's an extreme measure in and of itself, so its avocation is limited to the margins of an existing political equilibrium.

It would be like advising to a management board of a retail company that they host a huge sale, with 50% of retail prices etc. It's understood that the sale wouldn't last long relative to their normal operation.

Extreme measures should be used sparingly.

TRP is a natural reaction to men having lost the right to EVER use hardball tactics. Men are always rewarded for "taking the high road", which used to mean something, but now it just means to take everyone's shit.

TRP advocates how and when to use extreme measures.

When it comes to doing effective compromises, I don't know if I would let on that I'm even in a bartering position with a woman. With men, you state your cases and make your points in a normal conversation, listen to theirs, figure out where the solutions are being pointed towards, and then you start bartering. You both start high, and you edge your way to meeting towards the middle.

I would be hard pressed to attempt this with a woman.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think there is some danger in red pill "going mainstream" for this reason. It does have a fight or flight element to it, and I also think it has an intelligence threshold to it also which means there will be plenty of people attempting to swallow it that won't be able to grasp it. My worry is having a new crop of red pillers that don't understand how to pick battles or compromise and then turn into a bunch of hot heads that start fights over people cutting in line at the grocery store because "I don't take shit, I'm alpha"

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan 423 points424 points  (177 children)

Nominate for post of the week.

The "alarming" (as the MSM puts it) drop in the American marriage rate is a sign that men are "waking up" at a rate faster than they're finding /r/theredpill or any other part of the manosphere. Feminism and female entitlement have been kicking men in the crotch for the last 40 years. It was only a matter of time before men started revolting.

I'm just curious how so many women are knowledgeable enough to call it "acting all red pill"; i.e., identifying us by name...it's not like this philosophy gets discussed on daytime talk shows...or does it?

[–]1Mikesapien 95 points96 points  (3 children)

I'm just curious how so many women are knowledgeable enough to call it "acting all red pill"; i.e., identifying us by name...

Reminds me of a story.

In 1755, when Samuel Johnson published his Dictionary of the English Language, a group of ladies approached him, congratulating him for his work, and thanking him for not including dirty words, to which he responded, "What? My dears! Then you have been looking them up!" As the story goes, "The ladies, confused at being thus caught, dropped the subject of the dictionary."

Hill, Norman & Birkbeck, George (Eds).

Johnsonian Miscellanies, Vol. II.

London, UK: James Press, 1897. 390.

[–]LadyLumen 6 points7 points  (1 child)

The ironic thing is that the Feminists who criticize TRP on their tumblrs are probably the source of TRP's publicity. I found TRP through a Feminist friend who was complaining about it. From what many other people have said, they did the same thing.

[–][deleted] 66 points67 points  (2 children)

I think any woman who uses reddit and has a boyfriend will blame any change that doesn't positively and completely cater to her as redpill.

[–]Endorsed Contributorgekkozorz 20 points21 points  (0 children)

It has to be SOMEONE's fault, because it sure as hell can't be hers.

[–]Sturmgeist781 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Pretty much SRS and AskReddit subscribers in a nutshell.

[–]Endorsed ContributorLastRevision 70 points71 points  (11 children)

Remember also that pursuing marriage post-wall is a fairly new concept for women. Only 20 year ago this may have meant getting married AT THE WALL (26-30), but recently many women have wanted to postpone marriage to exclusively post-wall territory (32-36). This excludes the men who may have been interested when they were 26-30 and only leaves men whom they feel superior to.

[–]AnotherLostCause 99 points100 points  (7 children)

I think this is at the heart of the problem, the desire to be married passes as men age. Women, however, have been sold on the idea that captain save a hoe billionaire adventurer with sixpack abs is just waiting in the wings. Waiting for that moment when the post wall, post carousel damsel needs to slap on a ring during a thirty thousand dollar wedding and then squeeze out a panic child or two. Women are like children of wealth who get a lump sum check at the age of 18. They blow through their inheritence and suddenly in their mid thirties they find out they are broke, but they still want the lifestyle they had when they were rich.

[–]temparooney 18 points19 points  (3 children)

Men's desire to marry doesn't necessarily pass as they get over 30 or whatever. But they don't have a desire to marry a woman who is as old as they are. Not if they're smart anyway, and are planning kids. Their fertility is still fine, but a woman's expires.

[–]ButterMyBiscuit 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Women are like children of wealth who get a lump sum check at the age of 18. They blow through their inheritence and suddenly in their mid thirties they find out they are broke, but they still want the lifestyle they had when they were rich.

Hot damn. I'll commit this to memory, so accurate.

[–]borderline_sociopath 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Women are like children of wealth who get a lump sum check at the age of 18. They blow through their inheritence and suddenly in their mid thirties they find out they are broke, but they still want the lifestyle they had when they were rich.

This is amazing. Perfect analogy. I see many women around town and at work who were probably pretty damn hot, partying their asses off on Spring Break in Ft Lauderdale in the late 80s. Since reading RP material a few years ago, I started paying more attention to how they acted, and I began to see the sliding scale of wall acceptance.

Some of these 38-48 year olds were still dressing like they were 25, and were expecting male attention in the form they used to garner. Others seemed resigned to their place in life and seemed to accept that they were less visible to men every day. There was a real sadness about them, both in those still expecting attention and those who have given up.

[–]DanReggins 34 points35 points  (2 children)

only leaves men whom they feel superior to.

... and men who can now get someone younger and hotter, or would rather be alone.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (1 child)

Which means that the only ones left are the inferior men.

[–]zephyrprime 30 points31 points  (6 children)

I don't even think that's the case. I think the drop in marriage rate is due to the expanding pool of divorcees. Divorces only started happening at high rates starting in the '70s. The d