The Limits On Hypergamy

Via Randall Parker, here is a study of birds showing that less attractive female birds choose equally unattractive mates.

Less-pretty female house sparrows tend to lower their aim when selecting a mate. Addressing the lack of studies on condition-dependency of female mate choice, researchers writing in the open access journal BMC Evolutionary Biology found that female sparrows of a low quality prefer males of an equally low quality.

Researchers from the Konrad Lorenz Institute for Ethology in Vienna studied sexual selection preferences in the common house sparrow. Though it has always been assumed that females will want to choose the best possible mate, in terms of reproductive and genetic fitness, Matteo Griggio and Herbert Hoi have found that, in fact, unattractive females dare not dream of mating with males who are considered out of their league. […]

“Actually, we found that overall, female sparrows don’t have a preference for badge size in males”, Griggio explains, “but we did find that less attractive females – those with a low weight and poor condition – have a clear preference for less attractive males with smaller or average-sized badges”. Rather than not find a partner, unattractive females will simply settle for an unattractive male.

Griggio continues: “There is some good news for the plainer females though – while they may be forced to settle for less dominant males with small chest badges, these males have been shown to invest more time in parental care than their good-looking counterparts.”

We here at the Chateau write a lot about female hypergamy, as it is a powerful motivating force in shaping the dating market and, ultimately, influencing your own success or failure with the opposite sex. Female hypergamy gets short shrift in studies and in popular culture because it is one of the uglier truths about women’s natures. Since gender is one of the four pillars of protected PC classes holding up the high church of leftist blank slate theology — right behind race but trumping homosexuality and any-religion-that-isn’t-Christianity — it makes sense that our commissars of media agitprop would work hard to avoid having to touch the subject of female hypergamy.

But we touch it here! And grope and fondle it lasciviously. That’s why it’s worth mentioning that even hypergamy must occasionally bow to the restrictions imposed on free market choice by female mate value. Although the above study is of birds, some parallels can be drawn to human behavior; parallels which are corroborated by real life experience. Women may loathe the idea of settling, but many of them do, as you can readily see by walking out your door and noticing all the ugly ass couples canoodling like they really enjoy the prospect of fornicating with each other.

Like the female house sparrow, less attractive women may deliberately avoid dating higher quality men in favor of beta males for a number of reasons:

  1. Less attractive women sacrifice too much to keep an alpha male around. There are plenty of couples where a much better looking man invested absolutely nothing into a skewed relationship and got all the sex he wanted in return. This might be fun for the plain jane for a while, but I’m sure the thrill wears off after a few months, (or years, if she’s truly deluded about her own value).
  2. Less attractive women figure they don’t have a shot, and so don’t bother flirting with alpha males. Call it the Sour Grapes Syndrome; a homely chick insists she prefers niceguys or nerds to the exclusion of those “meathead jocks” or “douchebags”, but in reality she is simply rationalizing her limited options. Sour Grapes Syndrome explains why ugly chicks don’t commit suicide en masse.
  3. Less attractive women have to make a trade off that more attractive women don’t. A hot babe can land *and* keep an alpha male around to help her raise her young, but a homely chick has to decide between a one night stand with a horny alpha who will be embarrassed by his slumming the next morning and a relationship with a beta who will lavish more caring attentiveness on her and any brood she may have with him.
  4. Less attractive women like to feel they are better looking than what their partner normally gets. This is a power law of mating dynamics. We all want to leverage our power in the dating market to the hilt, and a relationship where there is a big imbalance in power sharing is inherently unstable. Homely chicks know, either through experience or instinct, that dating alpha males results in a huge power differential that will almost always result in a breakup with her in tears. So she avoids dating alphas when it’s time to get serious about landing a committed man. Homelier women are smart to do this; studies have shown that the strongest relationships are ones where the woman is better looking than her partner. When a women feels pretty in the context of the man she is with, she will be happier… as long as the man keeps up his end of the bargain by having higher social status and/or game.

Note that none of the above reasons should imply that female hypergamy is rendered null and void for unattractive women. Human females are a little more complicated than house sparrows. In real life what we see are homely girls giving hypergamy the ol’ college try until their options, and their ability to stoically endure continual pump and dumps, are exhausted. This often plays out in practice with the widely observed phenomenon of urbanized 4s, 5s, and 6s suffering a series of humiliating short term flings with men well above their level during their 20s, followed by a grudging acceptance of the utility of settling for the boring beta male in their later 20s and 30s.

Seduction artists who like to dumpster dive (and really, you should probably turn in your PUA card if you prefer taking the easy road to low quality pussy) should continue treating the playing field as if female hypergamy was in full effect all the time, because most homely chicks — even the married ones — can’t resist getting used like a disembodied hole by a superior man.





Comments


  1. Sadly, all of this is true.

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  2. Why sadly? You might as well feel sad about preferring steak to burgers. We like what we like. Like the bull that produced the steak, the attractive women get eaten up with age in any case, it’s a tragedy for them whether they get selected or rejected. Speaking as a man who actually likes women, the dating market is really a no-win situation as far as they are concerned. Not suprising so many of them go a bit mad.

    PS: given the solipism of the female mind, you might want to point out that although high weight sparrows may be the most desirable, this is not the case for humans.

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  3. As a kid scout I remember my scoutmaster “Sparks” who was an electrician/radio-ham sorta guy and his wife, Mrs Blignaut (I’m South African).

    He was a pint-sized bespectacled snout-nosed geek and she, a H-U-G-E vetkoek boeremeisie-type (farmer’s daughter) and their house was always in a complete and total utter mess.

    What beautiful days those were!

    I loved them.

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  4. on August 27, 2010 at 4:56 pm Night Prowler

    I love dumpster diving when I’m hammered. It’s more about how fast it can be done and what you can get away with when you play the away game. ATM is a standard I have set for myself.

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  5. on August 27, 2010 at 4:58 pm Ari Hinkelberger

    When you’re like an 8.5 and you’re banging a 10. This is the type of article that scares the shit out of you.

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  6. Superior man.

    Repeatador those two words over and over and over again in your mind.

    Superior man.

    Superior man.

    Superior man.

    What would a superior man do?

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  7. on August 27, 2010 at 5:10 pm Vincent Ignatius

    This is all pretty intuitive. A girl takes the best she can get. The fugliest 4 will jump a quality man if he makes his intentions clear, but she knows she won’t be able to keep him.

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  8. Didn’t Pearl Jam record a song about this in the 90’s? Better Man was the title.

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  9. “Seduction artists who like to dumpster dive (and really, you should probably turn in your PUA card if you prefer taking the easy road to low quality pussy)”

    I never owned one to begin with. But as a geek, it’s fun being a sort of low-rent player…and it’s more fun being desired by a 3 than chasing submissively after a 6. Non serviam. I get enough of that at work.

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  10. And yet a low desirability woman may reject a low desirability man, or not-so-low desirability man, only for an ego boost-

    http://gameforomegas.wordpress.com/2009/12/26/fat-women-and-the-omega/

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  11. “Seduction artists who like to dumpster dive (and really, you should probably turn in your PUA card if you prefer taking the easy road to low quality pussy)”

    Aren’t such individuals basically traitors, spoiling everything not just for men but also for women? If a (female) 5 gets a (male) 8, however briefly, she’ll never be satisfied with men at her own station again. This screws everything up (a) for her, since she now can’t be satisfied, and (b) for the male 5s she should theoretically be dating who now have to suffer her bitchiness.

    I have a new manifesto to make the world a better place: men, don’t go below your level! Quality, not quantity. In my book, it’s better to bang one ten than ten nines, better to bang one nine than ten eights, better one eight than ten sevens, and so on down the line.

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  12. Speaking of game- no less than John Derbyshire is now referring to it and its effectiveness:

    http://www.johnderbyshire.com/Reviews/Miscellaneous/twoandahalfmen.html

    Today the Derb (and the Weekly Standard), tomorrow the Atlantic!

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  13. Chateau—

    The all important slut factor was left out. It’s pretty much the sluttier 5’s 6’s and 7’s who are willing to date and quickly put out for alphas of some sort at the cost of being pumped and dumped or at best getting only a short term fling. More good girls insist on strong evidence of commitment which they believe may well become love before they’ll have full, which they’re unlikely to get from a male more than one sex rank above them. These girls just don’t exist so much in bars and clubs. They’ll likely have a pattern of several quite long relationships and also periods without sex (other than the self given kind) between relationships.

    It’s the slut factor which creates the desert for betas (male 5s&6s) and at least for casual sex, higher betas (male 7s).

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  14. I learned early on that to chase men that were out of my league made me look pathetic. However, if someone who was too good for me paid attention to me I very likely wouldn’t have the will power to resist his advances. Most women are weak when it comes to certain men.

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  15. Joe Eoj–

    Aren’t such individuals basically traitors, spoiling everything not just for men but also for women? If a (female) 5 gets a (male) 8, however briefly, she’ll never be satisfied with men at her own station again. This screws everything up (a) for her, since she now can’t be satisfied, and (b) for the male 5s she should theoretically be dating who now have to suffer her bitchiness.

    Women have always been the proximate gate keepers of casual sex. Though in previous times and still in some religious areas of our society culture and social pressure put great pressure on them to only have sex with commitment, if at all before the heaviest commitment, marriage.

    Men have always banged willing sluts so long as they were decent looking and often if they really weren’t.

    Turn your shaming and control efforts where in used to be and always belongs (and the only place it’s ever effective for many) – on the girls.

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  16. @Joe Eoj
    Most PUAs are very unlikely to be 8s.

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  17. on August 27, 2010 at 6:25 pm gunslingergregi

    Yea but joe you got to work your way up ladder sometimes plus have something to fuck while you wait on the “good” girls to give it up. Then ya got to have something to make your woman jealous while your with her. Plus all her friends that she brings home are not gonna be as good looking as her.

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  18. Seduction artists aren’t diving in dumpsters, they are in the dumpster.

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  19. on August 27, 2010 at 6:28 pm gunslingergregi

    Now the friends that show up when she isn’t there yea those tend to be better looking he he he

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  20. on August 27, 2010 at 6:50 pm David Collard

    My wife is 49 and I still enjoy fucking her. If a girl is pretty to start with, not too fat and not too thin, if she doesn’t drink or smoke too much, she can look quite good into her forties. Her mother is a good looking woman for her age too, which is proverbially a good sign.

    My wife has aged really well. Still quite pretty (she dyes her hair), great legs still, her tits are not as fantastic as they were, but they are not too bad.

    Stick her in a pair of heels, a blouse and nothing else, and she is a plausible sex object.

    It is a myth that all women age badly.

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  21. Birds of a feather flock together. Ugh… bloody clichés… nah man I’m an ugly motherf*cker and all I’ve left behind me this last quarter century or so are a string of beauty queens, a couple of femme fatales (one of whom’s late hubby gassed himself) and the most recent, a serious mental case heh. Strange life this. Wonder what’s coming up next? Surprise-surprise!!!

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  22. I’d like to hear your thoughts on the sluttiness of women based on their attractiveness (ie- are the hottest girls -8-10s- actually less likely to cheat than then less attractive girls- 5-7s)… since a 7 can bag a relatively quality male for a one night stand.

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  23. Mediocre females may have a totally different mating strategy than high quality females (date a beta and fuck alphas one weekend a month as opposed to dating an alpha and being faithful).

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  24. David Collard,

    Some women do age very well. But they’re a small percentage of the total. And given the diet of Western Women, they’re getting less and less.

    The old poem advised women to “Gather ye rosebuds while ye may”. It’s still good advice – find the most suitable husband at the earliest age – but most women reject it.

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  25. “find the most suitable husband at the earliest age – but most women reject it.”

    Maybe to most women and men it is not just about youth and beauty?

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  26. another strategy for lower SMV women is the “beautiful loser” ie, the best looking possible man whos options have been curtailed by life experience or some non looks related flaw

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  27. The interesting point, not emphasized, is that from the sound of it, female sparrows have more common sense than female humans in mate selection.

    I suppose that is the welfare state allowing dysfunctional behavior, but, still, it is interesting.

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  28. on August 27, 2010 at 7:59 pm greatbooksformen GBFM

    i recall dose alpha fucks to beta bucks
    i was benrnake’s fav. hottie back in the day
    losta cocka in my gina and lotsa cocka i sucks
    now it’s juts me and my cats every day.

    lzozozzlozozozzlzl buthex

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  29. on August 27, 2010 at 8:01 pm greatbooksformen GBFM

    “Bling Bing
    “find the most suitable husband at the earliest age – but most women reject it.”

    Maybe to most women and men it is not just about youth and beauty?

    lozozozozozlzlz

    yah, maybe to womenz its more about lotsa cocka and butthex and sevctive taping of butthes withh is why power womenxz promote and publish and por teh lies of buthexers and secrteiev tapers of butthex iwthout the girtlths ocntentnt.

    when women get empowere not only are we ruled by gina tingles, but anuth tingleths too lzozlzozzozozozozozz

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  30. on August 27, 2010 at 8:07 pm 1987 James Hetfield

    dana,

    what does SMV mean?

    Assuming it means ugly women, do you think even they can ever really feel anything but contempt and pity for the “beautiful loser” types?

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  31. on August 27, 2010 at 8:22 pm gunslingergregi

    Uhhh they don’t always make 4.60 an hour lol

    They can make more than median of doctors.

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  32. smv=Sexual Market Value a la the Danimal not necessarily “ugly” just relatively lower SMV than others

    yes they worship them for their looks and support them and buy them things and suck their dicks because they are much higher quality physically than they can normally achieve. the beautiful loser also often has ltr game from NOT having been bad with women at some point and can drive the lower SMV woman insane

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  33. Okay. Back to my distant past again. I show up at a dinner party primarily inhabited by what were then oldsters. Men and women in the 30’s, 40’s. I was 24 and just beginning to get game (even though we didn’t call it game back then). At the time I was dating this dynamite 20 year old Nordic blond but when I look back things were starting to come apart. She wanted to get married and I didn’t.

    Anyway, I am at this party and I strike up a conversation with this gal is about 35 and looks a like younger Julie Christie. She had come with friends but when they left she stayed behind to smooze with me and then asked me for a ride home. As I dropped her off she asked me come up for coffee or a glass of wine. I wanted to go up. I knew what was going to happen if I went up there. She was a cougar of sorts before the name cougar was popular.

    But I said “No, I have to head home.”

    I broke up with the blond about a month later. I never went back and asked the older woman if she wanted to hang out.
    Cougar or not, I regretted not doing so to this day. Of course because I was getting game I had plenty of other women to keep me busy.

    But I have always wondered what it would have been like.

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  34. @ David C.

    Post pics. We’ll decide.

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  35. I think a test of your alphaness is if you get approached by ugly or fat chicks vs. alpha females or hot cunts.

    Anyways, I’ve noticed that you are going on a tear like A-rod on roids, keep em coming captain.

    Always fun to watch women rationalize away.

    If you are alpha, try asking out a semi-ugly or fat girl to prom. She will flip shit, then break it off the day before and take the cheerleader captain instead. Ahhh good times.

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  36. @Joe Eoj

    Physically, any girl becomes a 5 rather quickly, and today most girls always have puppy dog eyes for alpha on the side walk.

    Mentally, or competence, or other things, I haven’t yet met a girl even close to equal.

    So, your principle would yield celibacy for the strongest and most able to suppress their whims and desires for morality.

    And that may be the point of the progressive mindfuck machine.

    The choices are:

    – Animal fuckfest, cock carousel, alpha your mom
    – Free and equal, and don’t worry about the decision of the other free and equal woman
    – Virginal, lifelong marriage, property/semi-property

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  37. @cap’n bob

    The old poem advised women to “Gather ye rosebuds while ye may”. It’s still good advice – find the most suitable husband at the earliest age – but most women reject it.

    The strategy requires good and honest judgment by young women — something in notoriously short supply (speaking as the father of teen girls). The strategy was workable when parents had the primary role of selecting husbands for their daughters. It’s unworkable when young women make their own selection, because so many girls have a grossly inflated sense of their own ability to attract and HOLD ONTO an alpha.

    As many have noted, the current strategy of young women is to spend their prime years chasing the “perfect man”, and then when they lose hope settle for whoever they can get. They would get a better-quality man for marriage if they made their selection closer to the age of 20.

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  38. We should held débutante festivals like in some countries did in old times. At the 15 birthday the girl was introduced to society in order to find a husband. There’s no way to set early marriages society wide without cultural support. If I were the king of my country I’d forbid university for ladies, so they lose they carrer aspirations and look for marriage.

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  39. I remember once I was supposed to hook up with this girl who, while cute in a hipster way, was really just an average girl who was pretty cool.

    What happened when I was supposed to hang with her? She flaked, I called up an ex for a booty call.

    Lesson learned. If you’re an attractive male with game, style, options and a reputation, you shouldn’t lay it on so thick all the time.

    Game can help all men, but the amount of men game needed varies from guy to guy. The prematurely balding D&D addict with big glasses who’s 5’6 will need to have his game at like 9/10 to get steady girls. The 6’2 210 captain of the football team will get the same results with his game at 2/10. Much like you need to calibrate your game girl-to-girl, you need to calibrate how much game you yourself will need.

    Calibration…it’s everything. I believe it’s in The Art of War…sometimes when you are strong, it’s best to fool your enemy by appearing weak.

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