Caring Vs Uncaring Assholery

A reader ponders:

First off I’d like to say you’re really doing the world a public service. I came across your blog by googling ” how to spot a slut,” (trying to figure out if my girlfriend at the time was…she met your criteria and she was a huge slut). Anyhow in one of your much earlier posts you point out that there are two types of assholes. The uncaring and caring. The latter coming from a place of hate and insulting women and not really forming any sort of attraction. That is where I am right now how would i make the shift into the uncaring asshole category?

Think about the most inconsiderate person you know. Then, act like him. That’s how you make the shift.

If you don’t know anyone like that, then you’ll have to make the shift by adjusting your inner game, which means forcing yourself by sheer strength of will to become less outcome-dependent. Uncaring assholes are truly the masters of outcome-independence. They hardly feel a twinge to their egos when any one girl falls through as a prospect. That attitude is catnip to women.

The reader is referring to this old post which dissected the difference between assholes that women love and assholes that women suspect are really spiteful betas in alpha clothing. Quoting:

There are genuine assholes who are loved, and there are spiteful assholes who get nowhere. The difference is crucial.

Uncaring asshole = success with women.

Caring asshole = failure with women.

When women say they don’t fall for assholes, they are thinking of the second kind. A caring asshole comes from a place of bitterness and spite. His assholery is reactive rather than proactive. He is poor at calibrating which women will be responsive to his dick attitude. Caring assholes are crassly insulting and transparently invested in the outcome of their game.

Uncaring assholes are assholes as a consequence of their indifference. It is the aloofness of the man she loves that drives women crazy with obsession*, and that aloofness is manifest as asshole behavior. An uncaring asshole demonstrates clearly in his body language and tone of voice, not to mention his dearth of words, that he could take her or leave her.

A good rule of thumb to detmerine if you are leaning more toward the caring side of assholery:

Do you feel emotionally invested in the reaction you’re trying to get from girls you want to have sex with? When you asshole it up, does your blood pressure rise? Does anger festoon your words? Do you imagine vengeance, hoping to land a solid metaphorical blow to a girl’s ego?

If so, you are trying too hard. Your caring asshole behavior, while better than acting like a sheepish beta if pickup is your goal, will more often than not turn a potential lay away.

I’m not saying there’s never a time for anger. There is. There is a time for red hot passion and white hot rage. But your operational mode should be one of… say it with me… AMUSED MASTERY. Cool-as-fuckness. Imperturbability.

Nor am I saying you should be inconsiderate all the time. If an LTR is your goal, you can’t expect to be inconsiderate with your girlfriend or wife and not eventually string her out so badly that she jettisons you to fill the emotional void in her needy, feminine soul. Many a movie plotline has centered on the ignored wife of a distant alpha husband and the emotionally available sneaky fucker who ingratiates himself to her for the damning tryst.

Within the context of an LTR, consideration should be seasoned with inconsiderate aloofness, like a sprinkle of pepper on a nourishing bowl of soup. That is the zen way of poon.

But when dating and seeking the hookup, (to lead possibly to deepening love), aloof and sometimes even callous disregard will intrigue far more hot and high value women than not. And this is especially true for women living in the salad days of their fertility.

You have to recite the following as part of a self-motivational technique for imbuing yourself with the right (i.e., sexy) attitude:

I must not obsess. Obsession is the mind-killer. Obsession is the little-death that brings total betaness. I will face my obsession. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when my obsession is gone I will turn and face its path, and only my alpha self will remain.

Once you can confidently proclaim that oneitis no longer stalks you like a leech on your masculinity, that there will never again be “that one girl” you must have, that no girl’s inconsequential caprice can rattle your self-possession, and that you have let go of your spite and your anxiety, will you have arrived in a place that permits the blooming of uncaring assholery. And the parting of labial petals.

Few men achieve this level of state control, and with good reason: it’s hard. Great beauty can disturb the stillest mind. But try you must. You’ll have to bear the torment of self-awareness to make your attempt count, but it beats the alternative of sleepwalking through life in ignorant betatude.





Comments


  1. Geek!

    [heartiste: the new “first!”]

    Like


  2. As I’ve said many times here and elsewhere, this isn’t just about women.

    I tell my customers openly that I only care about them if I make a profit from them, if I know they’re reaping benefits from working with me, and if they’re not a pain in my ass. If they are, they’re out.

    I tell my family the same thing. Profit from family comes from the joy of sharing memories, of encouraging each other to excel in what we love, and in having people to spend time with when they’re down.

    I tell my friends the same thing. Profit from friends comes from entertainment and low drama.

    If you care too much about those who don’t care for you, you’ll lose in those areas of life. Care about things that matter: yourself, first and foremost. If people think you’re an asshole and don’t want you in their lives, it’s their loss.

    Like


    • The asshole is strong with this one.

      Like


      • Does he talk like this to his mom?

        Like


      • He’s actually a bit of a crazy (as if his “that’s what I tell my family” crap didn’t give that away – seen him on Facebook with a mutal friend. He’s into all that truth seeker/9/11 was a hoax shit.

        Like


      • More like a bit of “I don’t give a fuck.” Actually, not a bit — a lot.

        As for the truthers, I tend to delete them as fast as they friend me, but some get through. I don’t have any opinion on conspiracy theories, I don’t care much about any of that.

        Like


      • Even a cursory investigation of the evidence makes it blindingly obvious that 9/11 could not have happened – the way it actually did happen – w/o top-level US Government foreknowledge and cooperation.

        Like


      • Why not? It can only be to everyone’s benefit all around. She might not be a bitchy gossip and improve as a human being if she sees how nice niceness can be.

        Hell, I pretty much ignore my mom’s entire side of the family because you can’t spend more than 30 minutes with them before the knives come out.

        Like


      • Of course I do, and she loves me for it.

        Like


    • I agree. In the end, we all have some desire to benefit from our relationships. I have always emphasized to myself that all relationships have a cost- benefit ratio. This is true for all people as well. It is ultimately why people divorce- someone’s selfish needs are not being adequately met. Its actually a simple thing that is difficult to achieve. Most of us haven’t analyzed ourselves well enough. I spent a lot of time doing this in seeking a wife. To find a good mate, you have to know what you truly want. To know this, you must know yourself. Its not always obvious either.

      The difference among us, lies only in what we consider to be costs and how analytical one is in identifying them and the associated benefits. Sometimes, people secretly need drama or whatever attention getting device they can muster to scratch some primal itch. Sometimes, by leading them about, you are actually satisfying a deep seated psychological need, thereby helping them despite appearances. Daddy game anyone?

      Like


    • Men, print this out and tape it to the fridge. Throw out all the other shit currently on the fridge.

      Like


    • That may work if you’re talented enough to be indemand, but most people have to eat shit just to make a living.

      Like


    • That last paragraph was my train of thought walking home from work today. Foolish are they who are sympathetic to those who would not reciprocate.

      Like


    • A.B. Dada wrote: “Care about things that matter: yourself, first and foremost.”

      Wonderful, until you realize that transactional love — something for something — is unsustainable and corrosive. Love isn’t a feeling, it is an action. It is total self giving for nothing in return. “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

      Now, because this truth that moves the universe has descended into cliché and political machination, we can only rediscover its operational value by rebelling against the fraud that has usurped its name. The essence of unclouded wisdom becomes, as in your case, a reliance on hard sayings, like, “What’s in it for me?” — the enforcement of transaction in defiance of the regime which insists as a policy that each gives himself away, for free, with nothing in return. It is a perversion of compassion that goes by the name “compassion” today.

      Because of this usurpation of the name of love, even pointing out the truth that everyone intuits (like I’m pointing out right now) risks the teller being declared weak, naive, and in league with the fraudulent “Peace, Love, and Understanding” crowd. But you already know, if you haven’t completely denatured yourself, that love is the point of your existence. There is no other explanation for the rush you get helping someone at your own expense without possibility of repayment. You still get that rush of charity, don’t you?

      “Care about things that matter: yourself, first and foremost” is a self-evident absurdity. Of all the elements in this unfathomable universe, you expect the people around you to believe that you are “first and foremost”? That game quickly exposes itself as the delusion that it is, but not before giving manly assertiveness its bad name (“asshole”). The “first and foremost” lie has its genesis in the insipid self-esteem movement that cripples us to this day.

      No, true strength is accepting the fact of one’s limitations without allowing those limits to cause inaction and despair, not pretending they don’t exist or don’t matter. You don’t live what you preach anyway, because you are preaching a monstrous selfishness that simply does not convey in your good-natured writing. You have misapprehended the justification for self-centered behavior, and you are not the sociopath who believes himself to be the “first and foremost” concern of the vasty cosmos.

      You do people a solid from time to time, you dispense your largesse for free just because you happen to feel like it. There’s a reason for that “just because,” a deep truth behind happening “to feel like it.” What is the profit you gain from publishing your blog, from posting here, from assisting chumps up from betadom? Your reasoning is a stretch. The benefits of providing assistance will not redound to you except infinitesimally, with the greater share bestowing graces on others, most of whom you will never know and could never give back in-kind.

      Rebels against feminism find it hard to process certain mission-contrary concepts because their liberation from the regime of lies has been so exhilarating. Departure from the dogma seems dangerously beta, a recursion to old habits, if not a complete regression then risking the appearance of it among his liberated brothers. I too have been enlightened past the Marxist fairy tales and do not regard “profit” as a dirty word. But making this partial truth into the whole of wisdom or forcing it to be your raison d’être is a bridge too far, although it is an understandable trajectory carried on the momentum of your original, legitimate discovery.

      It is probably too late to bring you on board 100%. Intrepid men like you hold tight to the concepts which have shown their value and in which they have invested deeply. But the truth is this, and I am living proof of it: you can thread the needle of love without becoming soft, you can give of yourself without forfeiting your manhood, and you can lead men by sacrificing all you (think you) have.

      What motivates a chump to jump on a grenade for his brothers? And more important, why do we not consider that man a chump at all, but rather honor him as the very highest kind of human being there is? Is it an evo-psych hiccup? A rogue gene surviving against the odds? You’ll admit there is something admirable about such self-denying behavior, no? There is something irreducibly true about that profitless sacrifice, right?

      The me-first generation is a historical anomaly, an echo of the insanity of the boomers. They bequeathed us the inadequate language with which we are forced to sort out the messy moral conundrums of life. It doesn’t suffice to say being an asshole is all that you can be. There is a better way and you know it, because you’re living it. But the naifs listening to you are getting all the wrong ideas because your reasoning is muddled.

      The model is megalopsychia, greatness of soul, magnanimity, noblesse oblige. Preach that to the sorry fools who only know to recognize goodness as “gullibility” or “duplicity.” You’re a fine liberator of AFCs from their chivalry and white knight fantasia, but you and the rest of the PUAsphere have overinterpreted the mandate. The self-restraint you naturally exhibit is not applicable across the board. While the call to arms is necessary at first, so too is the counterbalance that must follow.

      Some time in the middle of Boot Camp, the drill instructors dial it down a few notches, lest they unleash psychopathic killers back into society. Yes, it is important that a Marine learns to kill and learns to love to kill. But it is just as important to inculcate an appetite for restraint so that such a potent human force can be directed to the proper ends.

      Same with the basic training of game. You can create alphas, but with sloppy thinking you can more easily create grotesque, alpha-parodic monsters impervious to discipline, criticism, and purpose. It depends on what we discern to be “the proper ends.” A killing field of broken hearts would validate The Chateau’s philosophy at the expense of a greater mission, tapping into the mass id of Heartiste’s imitators to spur revenge against the regime that initiated their beta beatdown.

      Let slip the dogs of war, unleash the hounds, let barbarism have its day. But we will depend on better men like you to retain the vision that sees past the present disorder.

      Like


      • “Wonderful, until you realize that transactional love — something for something — is unsustainable and corrosive. Love isn’t a feeling, it is an action. It is total self giving for nothing in return. “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.””

        Er, excuse me, but those friends wouldn’t be friends in the first place unless I received some value from their presence. Calling bullshit.

        Like


      • Love isn’t a feeling, it is an action. It is total self giving for nothing in return. “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

        I can’t see how it’s a constant action with no self-gain. I’m not saying that gain has to be measurable to external metrics — maybe you just get pleasure from loving someone/something — that’s good enough for me. But I don’t know if your definition of love-action is sustainable without some personal gain of some sort. Did Mother Theresa love her “job”? Sure, she was receiving what she felt were blessings from God, right? That’s a gain.

        There is no other explanation for the rush you get helping someone at your own expense without possibility of repayment. You still get that rush of charity, don’t you?

        I don’t do “charity” but I do things that others consider charity. My income, at the end of every year, is 35% that goes to long term savings, about 25-30% to living expenses and travel, and the rest — easily 40% — goes to funding new startups that I rarely, if ever, see a dollar back from. 1 out of 7 of my risky ventures returns a profit, and the rest either lose everything or barely break even. Yet I do this out of love for freedom and love for my fellow man who wants to pull himself up by his own bootstraps of labor in order to get free of the chains of employment.

        Is that love? I’d say it is. I absolutely love the guys involved in startups I’m working on in 2012. I love the guys in the startups from 2011: 3 which failed, 1 which is doing gangbusters, and 2 which are barely floating. I still love the guys for trying — but I’m gaining something from that love (and it isn’t a financial gain).

        It doesn’t suffice to say being an asshole is all that you can be. There is a better way and you know it, because you’re living it. But the naifs listening to you are getting all the wrong ideas because your reasoning is muddled.

        The asshole vibe is solely for my own defensive purposes, broken down into 3 aspects of assholery:

        1. Prove to me that you’re worth my time,
        2. Prove to me that you’re not bringing excessive baggage (history) into our relationship going forward.
        3. Prove to me that you can see past the book’s cover.

        This is true in my love life, my work life, my platonic friendships. I’m an asshole up front, but the rare few people who have sense and intuition who get past that DO see the loving, kind and driven guy who wants to change the world one individual at a time. But yet, my “love” for others comes after they’ve proven their value to me — they’re not going to waste my time, throw away my forms of adoration for their individuality and lives, lie to me, steal from me, etc.

        Let slip the dogs of war, unleash the hounds, let barbarism have its day. But we will depend on better men like you to retain the vision that sees past the present disorder.

        That’s creepy — I heard something very similar in a recent declaration from a client who passed away and left me a not-too-sizable sum of money to distribute to startups for the next decade. Nothing that will make a difference in my life or theirs, but even $5000 more for a used record store CAN make a difference. He basically said “Let they depend on one with vision.”

        I’ve been finishing up an article I’d like to run by you, do you have a throw away e-mail address? It sort of covers your perspective and mine, combined.

        Good post.

        Like


      • I don’t want to be misunderstood here, A.B. Dada. You are one of the good guys — a pioneer who has threaded the needle and a model for men who will need an exemplar. The generation coming up will need to see that it is possible to be giving without being weak. The deeds you cite above are proof of your having found “the road not taken.”

        In fact, the very fact that you are an exemplar is why I took such pains and went on at length to describe your subtle error in philosophy. It is not an error that is likely to affect you; your experience has already demonstrated the folly of taking certain concepts to an extreme, and your instincts are keen. But those who read your words at face value do not have the fall-back that you do, and they will wreck themselves trying to live what you say.

        Our culture is indeed too “nice,” and it can use a whiskey-shot of Assholery and asserted self-interest, if only because hidden self-interest has usurped the name of “compassion.” But we can see on even message boards like these how men are prone to miss the subtleties once exposed to the blinding sun of enlightenment.

        Living for yourself quickly becomes banal, and the banality yields despair. Commodifying is necessary for enterprise and creates the miracle of generated wealth out of nothing. It is so miraculous that we are tempted to commodify all things and expect similar results. One needs a healthy training in those things which resist commodification and those that are best handled transactionally. It is not an easy distinction to maintain, and I can understand why you’d rather eschew distinction altogether:

        Did Mother Theresa love her “job”? Sure, she was receiving what she felt were blessings from God, right? That’s a gain.

        Mother (now Blessed) Teresa of Calcutta was repulsed by her work. (We think we know poverty in the west? Visit India.) She suffered decades of faithlessness and despair, the opposite of “blessings from God.” She ceased believing him to be real and could not see the point of her meager activities amid the unconquerable squalor. Yet she persevered. As such, she is the model of faith, a true saint who acts “as if” even when all evidence screams that she is a fool. To do good despite the obvious stupidity of receiving nothing in return.

        But even though we acknowledge the stupidity, we also intuit something magnificent in such a sacrifice. That intuition is the “still, small voice” we must fight to hear as we grow older and more impressed with all that we (think we) have accomplished on our own. It can be extinguished for years and years while we’re living large, only to remember — if we’re lucky — how insignificant our works are compared to how we love. That’s when old men wake out of their concupiscent stupor and say so often that it has since become standard: My God, what have I done?

        “Am I that man who lay upon the bed?” he cried, upon his knees.

        The finger pointed from the grave to him, and back again.

        “No, Spirit! Oh no, no!”

        The finger still was there.

        “Spirit!” he cried, tight clutching at its robe, “hear me. I am not the man I was. I will not be the man I must have been but for this intercourse. Why show me this, if I am past all hope?”

        For the first time the hand appeared to shake.

        “Good Spirit,” he pursued, as down upon the ground he fell before it: “Your nature intercedes for me, and pities me. Assure me that I yet may change these shadows you have shown me, by an altered life.”

        The kind hand trembled.

        “I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach. Oh, tell me I may sponge away the writing on this stone!”

        In his agony, he caught the spectral hand. It sought to free itself, but he was strong in his entreaty, and detained it. The Spirit, stronger yet, repulsed him.

        Holding up his hands in a last prayer to have his fate aye reversed, he saw an alteration in the Phantom’s hood and dress. It shrunk, collapsed, and dwindled down into a bedpost.

        A Christmas Carol, Stave Four

        These stories are popular and repetitive for a reason. They resonate with an intuition we all hold, and yet, perversely all hold in suspicion. The act of discovering the purpose of all your efforts in life is not so much a revelation as it is a remembering.

        Like


      • on December 23, 2011 at 6:02 pm King A's Bastard Son

        If King A is all about love and selfless behavior, why are his posts always filled with hatred and contempt ?

        You can’t read a single post of his in which he doesn’t insult another person, usually gratuitously and always in an effort to make himself seem superior. Hardly the sort of behavior one would expect from a selfless, love-thy-neighbor Christian.

        Paul calls bullshit on King A (and rightly so); I call hypocrisy.

        Like


      • All Christians are hypocrites. Here is King A’s true master on the subject:

        “The very word ‘Christianity’ is a misunderstanding–at bottom there was only one Christian, and he died on the cross.”

        All Christians fail Christ’s own example, and so live in sin by definition, for which they require the Lord’s perpetual and ultimate forgiveness. Trying to reason it out is a fool’s game; and that is why cretin ( < French chrétien, “christian”) means what it does.

        Psychologically, it means they use the “Christian” identity in various ways for their own all-too-human ends — to lift them out of depression, take their mind off alcohol or a divorce, and in the case of guys like King A, to lift them over their fellow sinners in lordly attitudinizing. Just reading the King James Bible, basking in its haughty idiom, is enough to accomplish this great feat of nothing.

        But he gave us the answer to his character weeks ago. Did you not catch it?

        “I do this for the same reason I do everything: the will to power.”

        Been a while since I’ve read the Gospel, but from what I recall, my impression of Christ was of a man who, if he could even be made to understand that statement, would firmly reject it. One doesn’t go to the cross because one is power-hungry.

        And a man hanging from a Roman cross by his extremities is not one to care for poseurs.

        Like


      • uh (@uppity_goy) wrote:

        Been a while since I’ve read the Gospel, but from what I recall, my impression of Christ was of a man who, if he could even be made to understand that statement, would firmly reject it. One doesn’t go to the cross because one is power-hungry.

        Your “impression of Christ” might be less cartoonish if it hadn’t “been a while since [you] read the Gospel.”

        But since generalized stick-figure concepts are your currency, I see your cliché and raise you an old saw: “Hypocrisy is a tribute which vice pays to virtue.” The fact of hypocrisy is not a sign of the disingenuousness of the principle so much as a sign of the genuineness of the striving.

        Christ didn’t “firmly reject” the will to power. He transfigured it into caritas — the transfiguration of which, by the way, is circumstantial evidence of his divinity. “Think not that I have come to abolish the law and the prophets; I have come not to abolish them but to fulfill them.”

        Your elementary understanding of the will to power translates to something like Might Makes Right, whereas a more accurate rendering would be the Impulse To Exert One’s Strength. It is true that Nietzsche allowed his lesser heirs to infer the former upon a proclamation of the latter, but the will to power is a simpler and therefore more universal notion than Might Makes Right.

        A quick example to illustrate the intuitive wisdom of “the essence of life is will to power.” Our greatest horror is not the simple oblivion of death but rather to be conscious but utterly powerless, unable to move or communicate, unable to “exert our strength.”

        This is the meaning of Christ’s exchange with Pilate.

        Pilate entered the praetorium again and called Jesus, and said to him, “Are you the King of the Jews?”

        Jesus answered, “Do you say this of your own accord, or did others say it to you about me?”

        Pilate answered, “Am I a Jew? Your own nation and the chief priests have handed you over to me; what have you done?”

        Jesus answered, “My kingship is not of this world; if my kingship were of this world, my servants would fight, that I might not be handed over to the Jews; but my kingship is not from the world.”

        Pilate said to him, “So you are a king?” Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. For this I was born, and for this I have come into the world, to bear witness to the truth. Every one who is of the truth hears my voice.”

        Pilate said to him, “What is truth?”

        After he had said this, he went out to the Jews again, and told them, “I find no crime in him.”

        … Pilate went out again, and said to them, “See, I am bringing him out to you, that you may know that I find no crime in him.”

        So Jesus came out, wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe. Pilate said to them, “Behold the man!

        When the chief priests and the officers saw him, they cried out, “Crucify him, crucify him!”

        Pilate said to them, “Take him yourselves and crucify him, for I find no crime in him.”

        –John 18-19

        “If my kingship were of this world, my servants would fight.” The sin of Adam directed our exertion of strength, our will to power, toward fighting and domination. Christ’s rejection of that temptation, even unto his bloody death and humiliation on a cross, redirected that strength to building up the kingdom of heaven on earth. “One doesn’t go to the cross because one is power-hungry,” you wrote. Right. One goes to the cross to demonstrate the proper ends of power.

        That is the Christian proposition, to take or leave. You have left it, while many billions, with their various levels of moral acuity, in the two-thousand years since its proposal, have taken it. Including me.

        Animals, plants, moss, and bacteria are all alive, all demonstrating their will to power — to survive, to thrive, to procreate. Adam was the beast who was given consciousness of that essence throbbing beneath all life; Adam, the “red clay” endowed with Götterfunken, the divine spark. You and I inherited Adam’s consciousness and conscience and all the attendant perils of such a gift and curse. Your mistake is to interpret those unavoidable perils as proof of the fraudulence of the divine spark. That beguiling mistake is the “curse” element of the deal toward which all of our earthly efforts must be directed to overcome.

        Meinen Kuß der ganzen Welt, Bruder.

        Like


      • Bravo.

        In fact, I’ll go one better – ALPHA Bravo.

        Like


      • Hey KingA – “love” and “compassion” are not the same thing.

        Like


      • what is love?

        Like


      • “Wonderful, until you realize that transactional love — something for something — is unsustainable and corrosive”

        Cash for poon. Transactional.

        “Love isn’t a feeling, it is an action. It is total self giving for nothing in return. “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

        Said the person that never did it. John 15:13
        Herod has John imprisoned for denouncing his marriage, and John is later executed by beheading.
        Talk is cheap. Actions speak louder than words.

        Like


    • Good man A.B.Dada. You are a wise one. Love your posts, you think like I do.

      Like


      • All I do that’s good, I learned from other men before me. All I do that’s bad, I do by myself.

        Now go and pass on the good you know to younger men in your circle.

        Like


  3. So what is your term for a guy who is legitimately an asshole and gets a sexual high from treating women like shit “for
    The hell of it” or because he actively dislikes The woman. only seeking to conquer her emotionally and sexually for a sadistic thrill?

    [heartiste: he’s a guy who gets laid a lot more than most people are comfortable acknowledging.]

    Like


  4. Couldn’t resist. Googled “how to spot a slut”. Found this:

    http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lvg/93704641.html

    Like


  5. on December 22, 2011 at 1:46 pm Holden Caulfield

    As has been mentioned in the archives of the Chateau, The Dark Triad set of traits will predispose one towards uncaring assholery. Caring assholery comes from a place of “try hard” and leans too much toward agreeableness – leading first to rejection and second to lashing out. I think Heartiste pointed out once before that faking that you don’t care works, but actually not giving a shit is where you really want to be. The bitterness is hard to hide. Get rid of it first and your amused mastery will come more naturally. All the betas that are confused by this: you are still fucked and not in the way you’d like to be.

    Like


    • Its one of the harder things to master if one has a strong need for that ass, in my opinion. It only comes from truly having a lot of choices, in my experience.

      Like


      • I came of age in the wrong environment, one that warped by early attitudes. It was one of scarce pussy – a small town with a BIG navy base. My early impression was that women 18 and above, not married were rare due to the distorted gender demographics of the town. Plus, I was poor and living with my divorced mom. Three strikes!

        College was a little different but I was in engineering school so the demographics of the class room still suggested a shortage of poon.

        Graduating and moving to San Francisco gradually opened my eyes! Now, three wives and a 100+ conquests later, I see the real world better. Never again will I cling to the pussy I’m stroking because I know there’s always more available for the picking.

        Like


  6. Learning “uncaring”
    is impossible for pua Brandons,
    having invested so much TIME
    in online reading
    about pua…

    Like


    • so true. it’s like girls who try so hard not to be like their mothers, but end up only different flavors of their mothers.

      Like


    • Not necessarily so, if they are able to Realize non-reactiveness/outcome independence is a key facet to game.

      Mind

      Over

      Matter

      Like


      • ASS 3.2 is right.

        Teen pua Brandons! ™ need to read an extra 500 forum posts
        and take another fourteen $3,000.00 seminars
        to conquer “inscrutable” gooker chix

        or, just get a MS in Engineering at MIT

        Their credo:

        Status
        Over
        Everything

        Like


  7. So what is your term for a guy who is legitimately an asshole and gets a sexual high from treating women like shit “for
    The hell of it” or because he actively dislikes The woman. only seeking to conquer her emotionally and sexually for a sadistic thrill?

    I believe they call him Roosh.

    Like


  8. When old-school pimps are in the process of “choosing”, they have nonchalant attitude towards their stable of potential hookers. Every man should have this attitude.

    “FUCK THEM ONCE I FUCK THEM”

    For example, a good friend of mine just got out of a 6-year relationship with a double dick clutch-er.This guy says “hello beauty”,”hi stunning” or other nauseating phrases to every decent looking chick he encounters.

    Off the topic: Teenager dies after masturbating 42 times.
    http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1113664

    Like


  9. on December 22, 2011 at 2:42 pm John Norman Howard

    Tip o’ the cap on the Dune reference.

    Like


  10. The problem is indeed “fucks given”. The real currency of the world could be classified as the fuck and for the sake of this post it will be.

    Girls think you give a fuck means you have. You have fucked their mind with this idea that the fact they were born means something special. This is not the case. They are not perfect little snowflakes, but they CAN be your little snowflake if they please you.

    Girls drown in a see of outside approval right now, so attempting to give fucks is like trying to pay for something worth 10 USD in fucking spic money!

    You must learn that your fucks given is a carefully guarded jew-monitored cook islands LLC hiding your offshore assets.

    A girl should only get the fucks you give to have fun, and if she proves her worth much later do you give her amazing trinkets from your vault of fuck giving.

    You literally have to not care. Then can you begin to be amused.

    However, some of you may need to be a caring asshole for a while to attain this mental transformation.

    Like


    • “They are not perfect little snowflakes”

      I always ask them what do they think makes them a “special little snowflake”
      that separates them from all of the other “special little snowflakes” in the room.

      Like


      • by definition, every snowflake is special since no two are alike.

        that’s why i prefer the term ‘dandruff’.

        Like


      • Perfect.
        Ask them what do they think makes them a “special little dandruff”
        that separates them from all of the other “special little flakes” in the room.

        Like


  11. Nice “Dune” shout-out- online forums like this are perhaps geek-heavy, but we do live in an age in which geekery has entered, and even in some ways conquesred, the mainstream.

    Now standing by for giant sandworm joke. The spice/poon must flow!

    Like


  12. I think I have something called avoidant personality disorder.

    Instead of writing a suicide note, im going to write “heartiste.wordpress.com”.

    It would be the best explanation.

    Like


  13. Great advice. As a greenhorn in the game, from my teens till just a few years ago, I was prone to wicked crushes that led to debilitating oneitis. Thanks to game, in large part parsed from these pages,I have shuffled off the mortal coil of betaness.

    I remember clearly the pivot. Faced with a girl who tripped all my attraction triggers, I started to fall for her. She pulled away, which would have crushed me, had it happened earlier in my life. But because I already had a sexy dame in the rotation, and several more in the pipeline, it was pure liberating joy to ‘next’ that girl who years ago would have given me heartache.

    Like


    • That’s been my go-to text response to flakes who I’m bouncing out of my life. “Next!”

      But now I’m using Walawala’s “Batman” line, without the exclamation mark or period. Also without attribution. Super solid — already used it once this week.

      There’s nothing better than women who absolutely love and adore you — and there are so many women out there who want to give that to a man who treats her the way her hamster needs to be treated, versus the way her mouth says she wants to be treated. Why give a feminist cunt one more second of your time?

      Glad you made the pivot, brother.

      Like


      • @Dada….thanks. It’s a non-sequitor which leaves to her imagination responses…helps reframe. The latest response went like this:

        Her: You going to the ice skating party?

        Me: 20 minutes later…Got plans tonite

        Her: Omg. So cold, i may get running nose

        Me; 20 minutes later: Batman

        Her; uhhhhh???/

        Me nothing.

        Like


      • That’s exactly why I’ve used it … reframe-ability.

        I used it last week once, then ignored her the rest of the night. I rarely text after 8pm or before 9am because I really don’t give a shit what people have to say at night — either I’m out, or I don’t want to be annoyed.

        She asked me, in person, what I meant by “Batman”. I told her I have no idea what she’s talking about, so she showed me the text. I also noticed that she was keeping my SMS threads, but no one else’s (weird). I told her “Dunno, autocorrect? Go and get that wine open.”

        She was dumbfounded, to be sure, but even my follow up allowed a reframe. Just perfection, walawala — and I rarely compliment anyone. Good work.

        Like


  14. It took me a while to realize that the “uncaring” part was internal to the man and about is self-interest. One can be tough and an asshole in a caring way to those women he loves. The “caring” guy is one who is worried about his own acceptance.

    I’ve been surprised a couple of times when waiting to meet an internet date by the ease of picking up women already at the bar. I’d take that as, since I was NOT there to pick from the current assortment, I didn’t “care” about picking up a chick from the current assortment.

    The light goes on!

    Like


  15. Incredibly true. And to date, even though I’ve gotten better, it remains my biggest problem.

    Like


  16. I found this site by looking for quotes from men who appreciate abortion.

    Like


  17. So we know there are at least 50 uncaring assholes among younger men in the country:
    http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=140732141&page=1

    Like


  18. This is precisely what I am struggling with at the moment. I am furiously bitter at womankind (and society in general) for having exploited my deepest instincts and fed me bullshit in order to leech off my continued emotional investment in them for the entire 16 years of my life. I recognize that this bitterness is my weakness. I try to suppress it, but oftentimes, I will slip up and drop a line loaded with spite instead where I wanted nonchalance.

    I would appreciate a step-by-step mental guide of how to get in the right state of mind to completely abolish this anger from my mind.

    Like


    • What’s up man. I just helped a close friend of mine go from statements like the one you’re making above, to complaining that his 4th date of last week was 15m late. In 8 weeks.

      I can support- I’m not commercial either.

      Hit me up:

      [email protected]

      Like


    • I don’t know about step by step, but what you need to interalise is that this has happened to all of us too, and that you need to adapt. Your bitterness will leave you in due course, it’s like poison going through your system. Now you must learn how to take advantage of what society has foisted upon you. I’m 40 and I still have pangs of bitterness from time to time over exactly what you describe. But think about it, you are 16, I was 32 when this shit started to dawn on me.

      Like


    • You’ll stop being angry when you are getting what you want.

      Like


    • You said it better than I did. I completely agree, more on this topic.

      Like


    • first, read the power of now by tolle. basically, accept that you are angry. fighting the feeling only inflames it. once you accept, then you can move on.

      second, reframe. its natural to be upset at being mislead. that said, you are now aware of a reality the overwhelming majority of the population isn’t. you now know how to game the system. if you do it from a benevolent and humble perspective, you will reap handsome rewards. if you remain angry, you will create/maintain that reality as well.

      that’s really all there is to it, my friend.

      Like


    • “exploited my deepest instincts and fed me bullshit in order to leech off my continued emotional investment in them **for the entire 16 years of my life**”

      …really? all 16 years?

      dude, welcome to the manosphere and the red pill, but seriously, do you know how bitter emo that sounded?

      Like


    • “This is precisely what I am struggling with at the moment. I am furiously bitter at womankind (and society in general) for having exploited my deepest instincts and fed me bullshit in order to leech off my continued emotional investment in them for the entire 16 years of my life”

      Be glad it was only 16 years & not 48.

      Like


    • @Harkat

      I was in the same situation as you two years ago…

      My biggest beta moment was…after getting sidelined by a girl who was giving me IOI’s which I effectively ignored and then acted “nice” to her….she eventually set it up that she agreed to meet me for Christmas Eve dinner.

      She was 3 hours late….got me a shitty gift of chocolates she bought 5 minutes before our meeting—i hate chocolate—and then came over.

      She set it up that she had to leave right after dinner.

      I did the following: Cooked fancy dinner
      Gave her a home-made card
      Gave her a personalized gift
      Unsuccessfully kinoed her.

      She called some guy she was meeting after our dinner, then asked me how her make up looked before she left.

      AFC…

      Immediately following I googled “When she disrepects you” found the pua/game sites…read through everything I could and slowly began to understand the basics of attraction and how with all I described above…I destroyed it.

      I totally ignored that girl…she got very upset, started telling people what a loser I was…I kept ignoring her and through trial and error, slowly practicing game step by step I was able to move from being a “nice guy”…to being a more confident, mysterious guy that women immediately took an interest in.

      Step-by-step? Start by understanding the basics of “attraction”—then put that theory into practice.

      Go slow…start to understand Indicators of Interest…then understand kino and kino escalation.

      Easier to practice with uglier girls and work your way up….

      It’s quite powerful so if you aim too high at the beginning and suddenly find yourself bagging an 8 or 9….in my experience…your beta tendancies will get the better of you and you’ll lapse into one-itis when that 8 or 9 starts shit-testing you.

      Go slow….practice…get rid of your bitterness by focusing on the journey not the destination…

      Like


  19. This is how i transformed into outcome indepenfence.

    I spent 10 days being nice to every woman i met. Compliments opening doors the whole 9yards. In this time i logged 100s of kind acts into a spreadsheet and got a grand total of 17 “thank you’s”

    Women truely are uncaring beasts you cannot afford to be outcome dependent on how they treat you

    Like


    • Nothing wrong with opening doors and extending traditional curtesies to women IF you hold them to the same high standards of lady-like deportment.

      The point is to show that YOU have the standards of a gentleman and you will impose the standards of a lady on the female.

      That gives you good reason for direct negs and even light spankings.

      My women have eaten it up and shaped up quickly as demure, respectful , submissive creatures of love. That’s why preachers get so much ass – they set the standards for the weaker sex.

      Like


    • “I spent 10 days being nice to every woman i met. Compliments opening doors the whole 9yards. In this time i logged 100s of kind acts into a spreadsheet and got a grand total of 17 “thank you’s”.”

      My God, that’s terrible. I open doors for men and women alike. At least half the women muster a thank you, while the reactions from most men are a mixture of gratitude, embarrassment, and confusion over the fact that a woman is holding a door for them. But their gratitude seems more sincere.

      Like


  20. Heartiste,

    I have just one quick challenge for you. How many lays have you ever had in your life?

    No wait, actually, how many women have you actually picked up either off the street or a club? I want numbers, dammit!

    I have a hunch that our that our little narcissistic hermit god won’t tell us that all of his relationships are from social circles, and he has been in monogamous multi-year relationships his entire life.

    I also have a hunch that asking a question whose answer could never be verified, and then assuming that the very question got me “permanently ban[ned] and censor[ed] for life for asking,” is itself a species of narcissism that blossomed into the paranoia of a full-on persecution complex. But that hunch would demonstrate me to be entirely too self-aware to be suffering from the very neuroses I cited, which any reader of mine had already diagnosed.

    To this I says BULLSHITTO!

    Yes, narcissism is part of Heartiste’s shtick, and we can allow for the usual amount of locker-room exaggeration without seeking his comprehensive discrediting. That obsessive crusade speaks more to Alex Novy’s issues than The Chateau’s.

    But the poor Russian shmoe was hoist on Heartiste’s petard:

    In fact, most sciences involving the study of humans work this way. They don’t test the elements of something until a first exploratory research is done to show if there is anything there at all to even be studied.

    No shit. The church of scientism will not avail anyone in a study of human behavior. Both Heartiste and the shmoe would do well to dispense with it.

    No, the value of the Chateau — in sharp contrast with the anti-value of, say, AlekNovy.com — is not in its scientific claims (!). Its value is found in the quality of Heartiste’s testimony and articulation of principle, not the shoddy research which purports to validate the testimony or principle. Aleksha, my child: the testimony here rings true, true and consistent enough to be above your petty suspicions. Regardless, his witness resonates with our own personal experiences, experiences with which you apparently have little familiarity.

    Why are you so excitable, son?

    Like


    • Guys, read King A’s post above. Don’t be like him if you want to get laid.

      Like


    • I know the number. It’s 132.
      He’s fucking the 133rd right now.

      Like


      • Its high, but not as high as I had expected. I feel better about myself already. This is like being in Richtofen’s Flying Circus. We’re all Aces in good standing and the good Baron is our first among equals. Well doneSir.

        Like


    • King A

      Why are you so excitable, son?

      He is running a variant of In Mala Ferd game,
      in which Little Brother squeals
      until he pisses his pants
      to get the attention
      shifted his way

      It’s a common ploy

      Like


    • on December 23, 2011 at 5:08 pm Obstinance Works

      Sad. He’s trying to state no proof for game exists. Better would be to take individual aspects of game , such as cold reads, and show the weaknesses. PUAs disagree all the time, so this has already been done to death.

      Like


    • Wrong again Kinga: Narcissism is a neccessary human emotion – one that gets you off your butt into the gym, gets you eating good, gets you looking good. These people are healthier than your “un-narcissistic” fat cunt who sits on the couch eating pretzels all day – therefore the narcissist lives longer and produces healthier offspring, thereby ensuring the survival of the species.
      Get it? got it? Good.

      Like


  21. on December 22, 2011 at 7:42 pm Hung One On You

    Could be one of your top 10 posts right here. I’m currently suffering from severe oneitis. Shit has damaged my soul. The obsessive thoughts, the constant analization , the self doubt, the mindless wanders…..it’s the worst feeling you can ever bestow on a man. I literally take walks around the block to try to free the grips of it from me. I’ve tried banging other women, but it doesnt’ work. Mostly because they are all busted looking.

    The part where you talk about rising up in red faced anger. I just did it a week and a half ago. Blew the hell up on her.

    I’ve gone no contact, no nothing, but you’re right, the ship has sailed and the dance is done and it is because i could not obtain this zin that you describe here. What’s even more screwed up is that I know in the present tense when the shit is hitting the fan that this is the emotional state I must find, but I tell you what, it’s damn near impossible. It is so hard to become then uncaring emotionally aloof asshole when you truly care about the person.

    YOu can craddle this emotional makeup in the begging and even for the first six months, but all hail the alphas who can pull this off for a long time with a 125lb blonde you’re banging on a regular basis. I guess you must train your mind and your soul to find this place when you sense it slipping away.. This is the place that women truly want you anyways. It just really sucks when you know you need to get to this place and you just can’t, because your interest level is too high.

    Man it sucks..

    Like


  22. on December 22, 2011 at 7:47 pm The Stifling Vapours of Consumerism

    Emotional investment = weakness

    Like


  23. God damn…well thank you sir. Over the past 2 years of reading your blog (and roosh’s + G’s), I have banged fly girls previously miles out of my league, upgraded my confidence, finances, and my life in general.

    Amen to game.

    Like


  24. the absense of obsession does not necessarily have to result in the blooming of uncaring assholery…unless of course you are an asshole.

    Like


    • From what I gather, our host uses a very broad “asshole” term; basically anyone who doesn’t give compliments and supplicate almost to the level of being cloying.

      Like


  25. This is all very simple: mentally note her flaw. Every woman has one… even a ten. The bump on her nose, her jackass ex, she’s a slut, dresses like shit, superficial twit, lame in bed, bad bone structure… etc….

    Focus on that flaw and your mind will be still and less spastic drooling beta whacking off under the table.

    Like


    • Not only that, point it out subtly in conversation, especially if she’s a babe. Master the art of the backhanded compliment. Women use it all the time. Subtle is usually better, but it works well. When you’re horny, the women you think are beautiful are not the same as those who really are.

      Like


    • Also helps to picture her taking a horrendous smelly diarrhea dump. After all, it’s going to happen at some point if she hangs out with you long enough. You’ll walk into the bathroom afterward and the stench will hit you in the face, made even worse in combination with the sickly sweet air freshener.

      Like


  26. I agree in principle with this post, but its too vague. What *specific* things can you do to project indifferene?

    Like


  27. To achieve uncaring assholery is a strenuous challenge, indeed, but not a challenge that flirts with the impossible. The following equation, in combination with the infinite wisdom of this blog, has instantly transformed my interactions with women:

    Intensity + Commitment = Results.

    I am now more uncaring than ever before and rewarded, handsomely, with the warm lubricated cock-holsters of lovely women seeking my erect approval.

    Thank you, Heartiste, from the bottom of my drained nut sack and uncaring heart.

    You are to game what Einstein is to Physics.

    Like


    • One way to achieve it is to be royally squeezed by a terrible case of one-itis, to stay humble, and to fight it. It’s related to the idea of treating a phobia by exposing the sufferer to the phobia’s object constantly. Eventually, the phobia (in this case, caring / one-itis) goes away.

      Like


  28. YES. More of this! This is my number one problem in the field. I was having difficulties identifying it, until now. I’ve tried assholery many times, and it all lead to duds. Chicks started getting seriously offended, and I walked away embarrassed.

    In retrospect, I believe it was due to my Caring Asshole mentality. Maybe I should try something different?

    Relative to this topic, how should family be treated? I’m not sure whether to use asshole game, or a mixture of Beta/Asshole.

    Like


    • I do think self conscious assholery works best for those with very acute social antennas to begin with. For the usual internet denizen, somewhat out on the Asperger spectrum, actively pursuing assholery could well lead to becoming ostracized more often than not.

      Like


  29. could be that it’s easy for a woman to confuse the two and just dismiss the a-hole, whatever type he is, as a bitter misogynist. it’s just easier that way since my guess is that most are the caring type.

    but props for paraphrasing the house of atreides meditation. god, i loved that book, although it does qualifies me as a geek.

    Like


  30. I must not obsess. Obsession is the mind-killer. Obsession is the little-death that brings total betaness. I will face my obsession. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when my obsession is gone I will turn and face its path, and only my alpha self will remain.

    Remember, do not bring a lase-gun to a (bitch) shield contest!

    Like


  31. Uncaring assholes vs caring asshole
    Jerk vs “nice guy”
    Alpha vs beta
    Strong vs weak
    Winner vs loser
    Personal optimist vs personal pessimist

    It always comes down to Secure vs Insecure. Those who love themselves vs those who don’t. Simple but non-negotiable dynamic.

    Like


  32. Doing nice things for girls should be because you want to or because it doesn’t matter…it should be outcome independent.

    The minute you expect something…even if it’s not explicit…you lose.

    I just got my ex gf a First Class upgrade…it had made the request prior to our break up. The travel agent sent me a note saying the free upgrade had been approved.

    Her: oh, thanks.

    That’s when i realized…I did it because I was trying to be nice not because I had done it for the sake of doing it…

    Then I felt like a dick for doing it…It bothered me that her blase reaction bothered me.

    Like


  33. on December 23, 2011 at 1:22 am Ministry of Public Enlightenment and Propaganda, D.R.G.

    No joke. While reading this post I just received this text from a girl: “It’s just like you don’t care.” Uncaring asshole game inspires THAT kind of reaction.

    Like


  34. Alek novy Dared me to ask you how many lays you have had and how many weren’t from your social circle.

    He said you would ban me for life if I did.

    Like


  35. optimus post! this one speaks volumes to the (nice,caring,considerate, time available) guys out here..
    its like if you’re NOT a no compromise, no nonsense, type of Man; women tend to put u in their man bitch phonebook.. calling only for bullshit like help, rides and money! u give but get no respect! but ur a nice guy tho?! wtfh!

    caring vs uncaring is truly that.. Have to truly NOT care! “Whats in it for me” is the motto that wins the lotto with women!
    this attitude seperates the dopes from the Dons in her brain….
    it states your intention/position up front but cloaked as favor

    gr8 post mayne! ..

    Like


  36. Hmmm…

    Would lions be Kings if He let all the lionesses (have their way) and keep their young? no. The guy kills the kids and STILL humps the mother that hates Him!

    (caring vs uncaring 101)

    Like


  37. Man I HATE just DOING nice shit for girls.. yuck! they see us as a tool.

    That’s why it has to be something she’s willing to trade say… sex / meal / car?
    A favor for a favor..
    kush for free? taking your car
    ride to class? fuck me first
    car need work? cook me dinner

    This way girls know they cant USE you w/o proper trade value!

    Like


  38. King A is trolling heavily, and for a simple reason: like someone said in comments a long time ago, “Even if Roosh, CH and all others game bloggers were proved to be virgin frauds, it would not diminish the truth of what they’re saying one bit – because we have actually tested it and found that it works”.

    Asking details like he is is just searching for details from which to launch ad hominem attacks on someone’s legitimate opinion. The good rule of thumb for all these trolls is: “if you need to ask, you don’t need to know”.

    Like


    • King A writes like Emmanuel Kant. And this is barely a compliment.
      I don’t want to fry my neurones by trying to understand exactly what he says. But I believe that he was just reporting what another dude said. Don’t shoot the messenger.

      Like


      • I write for a specific audience with which I seek to have a conversation. If you don’t get it, then you’re not my audience. Don’t fret, back to the skirt scamper with you.

        Like


  39. True gospel shit, CH. 100% bulls eye.

    Like


  40. Superb article. It answers some questions I have been chewing with for a long time.

    I discovered game last year. Before that…it embarasses me to say…I was a completely “romantic” beta shmuck, getting suckered by the gals time and again.

    Since reading up on Pickup I’ve gone to the other extreme. I became exactly what has been discussed in this here article: a *reactive*, *bitter*, *caring* asshole. And of course that, too, did not work out so well.

    However, I believe it was a neccessary transition phase, a learning experience. Because arguing with girls, telling them no in no bullshit terms, telling them to eff off etc. killed my inner ‘nice guy’. It desensitised me and now I am far more outcome independent than before.

    I’m not a totally cool cat yet. In truth I’m still far away from candy land. However, I’m steadily improving and well out of Emotional Tampon – Ville….somewhere in the void….and my sights are on Fanny Oasis.

    Incidentally, going to southeast Asia and gaming chicks there helps. I say so because:

    1.) the girls are naturally more feminine and beta (and thus gentler and more forgiving).
    2.) you as a westerner are naturally more alpha (bigger, more masculine looking (compared to Asian dudes), more cash)
    3.) Due to their culture these chicks seem to be more ok with beta shlubness.

    1.)-3.) make your interactions with girls there far more fun and you go through less pain (compared to the West) learning your stuff.

    It’s a bit like learning to ride a bicycle with training wheels (SEA) compared to learning by speeding down a steep hill with a sewage plant at the end…on a bike without seats nor brake (the West).

    Like


    • Not just SE asia. In the last 10 years I have worked in Eastern Europe, Central America, and S.E. Asia. In each region I have had more quality women than I could ever find in the USA.

      One thing about S.E. Asia (writing this from manila) that you have to be aware of though is that the women here have much better game than do women in the USA. They have to as the daughters are usually the family breadwinners, and they get thier bread from the White betas who are more than willing to subsidize thier families in return for sex. However, on the flip side, because they women here have such tight game, once you learn to spot it, the lackluster game of American women becomes so transparent its laughable. In other words S.E. Asia is a not only a great place to inflate your ego, its also an amazing “proving ground” to seperate actual alphas from betas who think they are Alpha.

      Whereas most white guys I know in manila take care of “their” women financially, mine take care of me. I don’t spend money on them, because they spend thier money on me. My current “steady” hands out sample in the local supermarkets for about 300 dollars a month, and spends half of that buying me liquor, cigarettes, and taking me out to dinner. The other half goes to her rent.

      If you are in S.E. Asia and want to know whether you are a true Alpha, or just a Beta ATM for a girl with tight game its easy, don’t spend a dime on her, and make her spend money on you. If she does, you are doing it right, if she doesn’t, work on your game.

      Like


  41. “Alek novy Dared me to ask you how many lays you have had and how many weren’t from your social circle.

    He said you would ban me for life if I did.”

    The quality of the trolls used to be higher around here.

    Like


  42. “Few men achieve this level of state control, and with good reason: it’s hard. ”

    Yep. I pulled a woman two weeks back, right from under the nose of none other than an airline pilot, who was trying to get with her.

    Last night she invited me over to her place. Having to adjust my aloof game and sprinkle it with the odd nicety now. I’ve even given her compliments. She was complaining about a lack of affection in her life and would deliberately make me put her arm around me.

    She went in for the kiss, I didn’t. I spinkled enough beta in there for her to feel like I could and would fulfill her need for affection.

    She gave me a present for my daughter.

    After our interlude, I had to go to the pub and shake off the lingering aura of the emotion it stirred in me, because my state had moved a little too much to the beta.

    I’m feeling much better today, it’s kind of like skirting the edge of oneitis. I’m thinking of her but not emotionally invested. I realise I need to continue like this in order to keep her coming back.

    I did not make any moves on her – I was laid back, my usual aloof self, and she came to me. Now that I know her a little better, I am adjusting my game accordingly.

    Mr. Airline pilot was beta. She said she felt bad that she was pulled away from him from right under his nose by yours truly. She then rationalised that by saying she felt that if he was really that interested, he would have done ‘something’ to make her feel he wanted her. Instead, she complained he simply gave up and never called. Still trying to translate that properly from womanese, but I think I pretty much have it.

    Thanks Heartiste!

    Like


  43. I needed to read this post. When you’re out meeting or approaching girls, uncaring aloofness isn’t too difficult, even around hot girls after a while. When you’re in the early stages of a relationship however, after you’ve kissed but before you’ve sexed the girl, its like you’re on drugs or something. When a beautiful girl is looking up at you with dilated pupils and a shy smile, happy/nervous to see you, this kind of mental control is HARD, almost impossible.

    It’s got to be a chemical brain reaction of some sort. Its amazing how a male’s perception translates physical beauty and youth into emotional feeling. While consciously you might notice her ass, legs or chest and want to bang her, there is a slight awareness that subconsciously all of her youth and beauty is being perceived, and there arises a sense of endearment just in talking with and casually touching her. Its kind of scary, because the girl could be completely evil but despite the risk, the mind wants to possess and protect her.

    I am writing that mantra out and am going to say it to myself several times a day.

    Like


  44. I gamed a woman from under the nose of an airline pilot. I got her number. Went to her place last night. She said she felt bad, but rationalised it by saying that “He didn’t make any effort to win her”.

    Apparently he hasn’t tried to contact her since. He was pretty butt hurt that she gave me her number right in front of him. I have,of course, been using push-pull, aloof game (my specialty) sprinkled with a little vulnerability game and the off beta compliment.

    Worked like a charm as she was the aggressor last night with the physical stuff, as I just sat back in a calm state.

    Is it cool that she gave me her number in front of this guy after I chatted her up? No. But I don’t give a fuck.

    Like


  45. Boy goes to a strip club.

    His mother finds out and asks “Did you see anything there that God might not have wanted you to see”?

    “Yes, Dad.”

    Like


  46. Wisdom.

    Like


  47. on December 23, 2011 at 11:30 am John Norman Howard

    Well, I always was a joiner-inner, so here goes:

    My sons, learn game…

    Or live out the rest of your lives in a pain amplifier.

    Like


  48. This makes me sick.

    http://aleknovy.com/2011/12/22/for-the-lazy-a-short-summary-of-how-game-fucks-you-up/

    This Alek Novy is focused solely on inspiring a bad name in game. I feel sorry for the losers who soak this shit up.

    Like


    • on December 23, 2011 at 4:33 pm flyfreshandyoung

      Pro tip:

      Only link to Novy if you like all-caps rants and spittle flying on keyboards.

      Like


    • These guys are referring to the PUA atmosphere that existed a few years ago. Instead of helping to change some flaws in the sub-culture, they threw the baby out with the bathwater and they are now too Aspergy to recognize that game culture has changed to accommodate valid criticisms made in the past.

      The anti-game guys are frozen in time.

      For instance, especially back when you could be a PUA and also be pro-feminist, the crowd once made it seem like women weren’t doing anything wrong.

      The anti-game crowd is also hung up on pridefully walking away at the slightest hint of a woman flaking, which an entire faction of PUAs also believes in to this day. It’s all semantics.

      Like


      • Some anti-gamers also believe in the feminist concept of equality. They haven’t yet accepted that women will never be true feminists and start taking responsibility for approaching men and behaving reasonably. So they say that they will wait around to find such women and not try to get the women into bed who behave differently from men. These guys will be lonely for a long time before they realize that even feminists don’t believe in equality when dating.

        Like


      • Other anti-gamers were so much against feminism that they felt that learning game wasn’t as important as crushing feminism and moving to a place where it doesn’t exist. They naively assumed that game wasn’t required even in non-feminist societies, but they were correct that you don’t need as much game there. A few years ago, PUAs tended to say that a man should stay in the USA and date American women, as if entitled women who are harder to game are superior to their counterparts. The anti-gamers were correct to have a problem with this aspect of the PUA community back at that point in time.

        Like


      • Also, anti-gamers complain that PUAs expect less of women (in terms of logic and emotional maturity) than they would of children.

        This is a true statement.

        The problem is that it is a non-sequitur.

        Like


      • Also, it’s true that some professional PUA Gurus were doing well with women precisely because the money they got from their material was freeing them up to put themselves out there in resort areas to meet women and win via the numbers game alone. Then they wrote about those experiences and formed a self perpetuating business model exactly like a pyramid scheme. This has always been a valid criticism and even Heartiste has posted about hucksters doing that sort of stuff.

        Like


    • AlekNovy is missing out. Even learning-disabled people like Novy will get something out of game if they practice it often enough.

      Like


  49. on December 23, 2011 at 11:37 am Dr. Van Nostrand

    One of the routes of to uncared assholery via reduced obsession:Get the fuck off facebook!
    It will only aggravate!

    Like


    • Disagree. I almost never “friend request” people, but I get easily 5:1 ratio of women friend requesting me over guys. Out of those gals, maybe 1% of them are attractive (let’s say 7 or better), and at the very least, it always brings me a couch to surf on when I’m out of town. I travel a lot, and I prefer hotels, but if I’m in a new town I’ve never visited before, there is NOTHING to lose by having a relatively decent looking gal showing you the town for a night or two. Follow up future trips with a hotel stay.

      Like


  50. This is hard for me to grasp.

    If you don’t care about outcome, why be talking to her in the first place? You have to care about it at some level, else how can you feel motivated to even bother approching?

    I’m not doubting it, just failing to understand the paradox.

    Like


    • You cannot care about the outcome to the extent that any number of girls can serve the same purpose that the one in front of you right now potentially could — physical pleasure as well as maybe being loved (depending on where you are in your life). It’s only when you aren’t able to make yourself happy and whole absent them in your life that you start feeling that you HAVE to make this happen with this “special” girl, right now, because SHE will be the one to make you happy and whole. You have to have that outcome independence so that you won’t be a prisoner to external factors in life affecting your self concept.

      Like


    • At the very least, getting women interested means you won’t suffer from one-itis. Even if you’re not a harem grower, you still should have a few gals on the outside waiting to get in.

      Like


    • on December 23, 2011 at 8:35 pm AlwaysBeFucking

      Not caring about outcome means you don’t care about outcome of a “single” interactions. You only care in aggregate.

      Say, you interact with 50 chicks, you don’t care about any specific chick out of that 50 as long as 5 to 10 out of 50 come to you and fuck you.

      Like


    • Simple. You talk to her just as if she was some random person you decided to make convo with because you were bored.

      Like


    • Because she is there for your amusement.

      Like


    • Roosh explains it quite nicely: http://www.rooshv.com/the-paradox-of-game

      Like


    • on December 24, 2011 at 2:30 pm Tobias est Forte

      It’s not a paradox;

      You care because you like banging hot chicks, or want to meet a girl who’ll fulfill your emotional needs.

      You don’t care because there’s plenty of girls who can provide said bounties, and the next one(s) could be 20 yards from your current one-itis. But you’re too enamored to notice of course, I know I have many a time!

      Like


    • on December 24, 2011 at 3:50 pm So, do the Zonk

      You do care, just not too much. You can take it or leave. Imagine two guys go to Vegas and they both have $20k in chips. One guy is desperate, that’s all he’s got left and if he loses it the loansharks kill him tomorrow. He is desperate to win. You can smell the desperation. The other guy has a million dollars. He wants to win but he Is cool with losing. He is not afraid to lose, and any one turn of the cards won’t hurt him. Those aren’t all the chips he can get. He has reserves. He plays to win but has no desperation, no anger. He can have amused detachment. Now replace the card game with girl game, and replace the money with confidence, self-command, inner game. That is the difference.

      Like


    • Think of a millionaire playing low stakes blackjack. He likes to win money but it’s no skin off his back if he loses.

      Likewise, a guy who’s good with women doesn’t care about a failed interaction with any particular woman because he knows he can find another one.

      Like


    • You want to fuck A hot chick. If it’s THIS hot chick, fine, otherwise there will be another. Whichever one (or more) you get into bed, you will enjoy. The rest of them lost.

      Like


  51. Totally got the Dune Bene Gesserit reference, Chateau Heartiste is a former D&D Sci Fi geek like me, haha!

    Like


  52. on December 23, 2011 at 5:02 pm Obstinance Works

    You are just too uptight. Consider it a joke and make fun of everything about it even if the laughter turns manic. Sex is for pleasure. Dont turn it into a status quest.

    Like


  53. Off topic but, is Obama simply beta, or has he slipped down to omega?

    http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2011/12/23/barack_has_no_pet_peeves_of_first_lady_michelle_my_list_is_too_long.html

    This isn’t the first time his wife bitch slapped him in public either.

    [heartiste: you know, i understand the science behind the handicap principle, and the validity of vulnerability game — that is, purposefully hobbling yourself in some trivial, unimportant way to make yourself seem more attainable and emotionally available to a woman — but there are limits to this self-flagellation, and obama has crossed it. no man worthy of his alpha station in life should allow his wife to browbeat and humiliate him in public like that.]

    Like


    • Politics – his campaign knows that the female vote is critical to any chance that he gets re-elected. I anticipate a great deal of beta-pandering to Michelle in public from now until election day.

      Like


    • she disses him all the time in public.

      he’s the textbook example of an alpha among men but a beta among women.

      Like


  54. Another way of putting this is be an aristocrat. In other words, the uncaring Asshole is just another Aristocratic set of attitudes. Think a rake-hell aristocrat, secure, serene, obnoxious, uncaring, and drowning in women.

    Women love LOVE LOVE! Aristocrats like a Royal Wedding and junk Hollywood celebrities. So model yourself after aristocrats and you will do well (just retain Puritan spending habits). Franklin is probably the best model. He retained his Puritan thrift (he was born and raised in New England as a Puritan just like Adams) but went to Pennsylvania to get his fortune and pretty much copied the nearby Virginia Plantation gentry with whom he had lots of dealings.

    Think of the word “common” as a deadly insult. Avoid it. Act aristocratic. It points to the same aim behavior wise. Just avoid aristocratic spending habits which tend towards poverty generation if not checked. Franklin is quite frankly a role model. As Machiavelli advised, imitate great men in so far as their greatness can be imitated. Brave, thrifty, arrogant, and of course uncaring.

    That does not and need not conflict with King A’s advice either. While you should not care about if a woman finds you attractive or not (why should YOU care, you are an aristocrat, tell yourself), a noblesse oblige and certain random acts (always observed by various women) of kindness towards lessers cements you as an Aristocrat. The other side of Aristocracy is patronage, and never forget that either. [Just don’t spend too much money on it, or time either.]

    Like


  55. To all those young men who get oneitis and care a lot about a girl.

    You have no inkling of the basic nature of women. When you finally realize what they are all about, you will never fall romatically in love with another one. For one thing, you are giving her way too much power to impact your life, and they are shallow, selfish creatures. Live your own life to the full without worrying about the “one.” Women are much more interchangeable than you imagine. This is the reality which underlies the mindset of the uncaring asshole.

    I am 65. Trust me on this.

    Women are wonderful for physical and psychological gratification, but you have to learn game to take full advantage of them. BTW, game makes women happy. That’s why it works.

    There are other emotions, much better than romantic love, to enjoy with a worthy woman who is also your companion.

    Like


    • Gramps,

      Your posts are always good, and I have an important question for you: what happened to make you realize what you call “the basic nature of women?”

      I feel that the weight of your experience and the excellence of your advice comes from pain.

      I’d be interested to hear about it. A mature man’s perspective is often truth distilled.

      Like


  56. Gold.

    Like


  57. The essence of uncaring assholery is simple. “And?”

    “I have a boyfriend” “And?”
    I want to see that chick-flick.” “And?
    “You don’t love me” “And?”
    “you don’t care about my needs” “And?”
    “I wish you would shave your mustache so I can see your face” “And”
    “You would look so much better if you dressed like _______” “And?”

    In my experience, that one simple word, accompanied by a smirk and a raised eyebrow, is the single most powerful word in the English language. Even more effective than “I dont care” because it encapsulates “I dont care” within it, along with a whole host of other phrases.

    BTW, love the dune quote.

    Also for your consideration, proof that Obama is a Beta (as if more was necessary)

    What is your biggest peeve about each other?
    PRESIDENT OBAMA: Oh, I don’t have one.
    MICHELLE OBAMA: My list is too long.

    http://content.usatoday.com/communities/theoval/post/2011/12/obama-i-am-not-spock-like/1?csp=34news

    Like


  58. Omegatron

    Omegatron
    This is hard for me to grasp.

    If you don’t care about outcome, why be talking to her in the first place? You have to care about it at some level, else how can you feel motivated to even bother approching?

    I’m not doubting it, just failing to understand the paradox.

    Some people put more stress on not caring than others.

    Personally I prefer a more hot and cold approach, as I can have a fiery and passionate personality. In bursts. I consider that part of my allure, actually. The passion, and the intensity.

    I don’t use aloof indifference to build attraction. Not directly. It so happens that while in a dating phase of spinning plates I’ll be slow to respond to sms messages, be late for dates, have scheduling problems, have girl stuff accidentally scattered around my room, be quick to escalate, and have high expectations. All of the signs of living an abundant dating lifestyle and being pursued by women are being sent out, unconsciously and effortlessly. But when engaging I don’t push the pull away buttons to build attraction. I focus more on pushing the let’s fuck buttons.

    Be it with a frigid virgin, or a girl whose had hundreds of dicks, rather than be a standoffish prize for her to pursue, I just assume the sale and work on escalation.

    So really you need to adjust for your temperament. The principle is sound, but it is not a one size fits all seduction approach. Some of us use aloofness only as part of push-pull. We don’t use that as our pull.

    Other people apparently really focus on being unattainable. That might work for you, but you don’t have to do that and it might not be congruent with your personality.

    Like


  59. Girlfriend sent me this in a text, not sure how to handle it…

    “I beg for your attention you brush me off. I beg you to stay interested on me and love me but you think its me being dramatic. Idk whatelse to do I feel like im holding onto something that doesnt want to be held. Girl needs reassurance and im tired of questioning myself”

    [heartiste: you could have a lot of fun with this. “baby, you have the super cutest ankles in the whole wide world.”]

    Like


    • You’ve gone too far with the push. Reel her in with some pull.

      Like


      • relationship game bro, cant be asshole all the time.

        Like


      • There is a danger of over-gaming a girl to the point that it brings out her worst insecurities which is no fun.

        Too much cocky-funny makes you look like someone who is too irreverant to ever be taken seriously.

        If you’re gaming a girl, fine, if it’s your girlfriend, then I think you have to decide what you want.

        uncaring asshole means you are not outcome dependent… unless there is some need to keep your girlfriiend in line or the girl has become flakey and your game has brought her back in line…i don’t see any need for deliberate cruelty…

        Like


  60. http://www.epjournal.net/filestore/EP09564587.pdf

    Discusses the many spheres of sexual conflict between men and women, from molecules to culture.

    Of note is the section on social institutions as extended phenotypes. (Feminism as a shit/fitness test anyone? Game as a counter to that shit/fitness test?)

    Like


  61. @Omegratron:

    I think the trick is to have the general goal clearly in your mind i.e. slamdunking da muff but not caring too much about the individual muff itself (apart from having quality standards).

    Thus, you are – in a sense – outcome dependant in that you *want* to get laid (better: assume you *will* get laid)…yet at the same time *not* outcome dependant in any particular interaction with a wimminz.

    To you it does not matter if it is *this* broad that snags the prize (you) or the *next*.

    Thus you are free to spin your spiel and do your shtick…and as you do not, in truth, give a f. your aloof and magical asshole vibe starts churning i.e. you turn your ‘jerk lights’ on.

    Like


  62. @omegatron

    The point is not that an uncaring jerk doesn’t care at all, but that he cares so little about outcome, that the result – positive or negative – will not greatly affect his self-conception in a positive or negative way.

    Not caring is not, ultimately a zero sum game or binary – caring vs uncaring – but, rather, a continuum ranging from obsessive oneitis (deep emotional investment and close alignment of self-worth with outcome) all the way to complete emotional vacancy (genuinely not wanting her).

    For instance, let’s say an uncaring jerk spots a girl he wants. He is invested enough in his attraction to try and get her. He is not, however, invested enough that his ego will be either crushed or built up. His confidence comes from within himself, not from external events.

    Like


  63. on December 24, 2011 at 3:02 pm Tobias est Forte

    I’ve been working my way through the archives (up to June 2008 thus far), but I felt the need to read and comment because this is a personal subject to me and something all aspiring men should know.

    However, it’s one of those things you don’t realise until it’s pointed out to you. I am of course referring to the fact that if you call yourself a nice guy but expect something in return (buy a girl a drink, expect her number to iterate a common misconception), you are not a nice guy. It’s pure manipulation.

    I know this is stated across the PUA board, but the same principle applies. If you are attempting to be a nonchalant, cocky-funny asshole just to get a rise out of a potential lay it’s not going to work because it won’t come off as natural and therefore your motives are laid bare in all their testosterone addled glory. And as you know, cool and collective subtlety is the proper way to go.

    Stop thinking about things like ‘If I do X it should lead to Y’, rather “I’m going to integrate X into my personality because to my knowledge it’s the best approach. Nay-sayers and outcomes be damned’.

    Like


  64. Speaking of uncaring assholery –

    I recently made the mistake of, in the split second I had to decide, taking the drink a girl asked me to hold – “hold this”, and she dove towards the dance floor. The same impulse which bade me grab her drink, also bade me drink it (downed it in one shot, then moved on to dance with some other girl).

    Does this set of actions come off as the right kind of assholery? Any chance for the pick-up to be resurrected afterwards?

    Like


    • what happened afterward?

      i don’t see any mistake here. you could have said ‘what do i look like, a coaster?’ after she said ‘hold this’, but all in all it was well played.

      the alternative was to stand there like a chump holding the girl’s drink while she grinds up against other guys.

      Like


  65. Asshole game is one of the most difficult concepts. I don’t think caring vs. uncaring captures the subtlety of it. I’m not sure it can be boiled down to a pithy this vs. that description.

    The basis of asshole game lies in human social hierarchies. High status people can act like assholes because other people will defer to them. Who acts like assholes? Bosses, meatheads, hot chicks, the coolest kid in class, cops. These are people who act like assholes from positions of power.

    There are other ways to be an asshole though, such as being passive aggressive or socially obtuse. For instance, a divorcee who makes a sexist joke at a dinner party comes off as bitter. A guy who makes an Asian joke to an asian girl he just met comes off as a prick.

    Asshole game is only effective when the guy appears to act like an asshole because he can get away with it. Hence the uncaring, nonchalant attitude. If someone’s an asshole because they’re legitimately bothered by something, it’s a signal of low status.

    Like


  66. Since breaking up with my gf last week, a new younger cute girl has been chasing me: texts…flirting, at a Christmas party I dropped into last night, she even bought me a gift. I got her…nothing. A few days earlier we went out for drinks and I covered that even though she offered to pay.

    So after the party we walk out together, she’s holding my hand leaning into me… She’s a bit drunk,and so am I.

    Given the dynamic where she’s been doing most of the chasing and initiating, I figured I could be more direct. So she says: “Someone said you had a gf”.
    Me: no…then changed subject. But when I leaned in for the make out she pulled away saying “No…” So I ignored that and just kept chatting about whatever. Then when I got home, she texts me…

    Her: Do you have a gf?
    Me: No
    Her: how can I trust you?
    Me: You can believe whatever you want about me
    Her; Actually, we hang out, we chat so if it broke up it I wouldn’t lose much
    Me: I need someone open-minded
    Her: did you like the tie I got you?
    Me: I’m a bad influence on you
    Her: I know!

    anyway, I made a few mistakes with this by not being asshole enough. I used the word “need” instead of “Want”…but it’s kind of ok.

    Also…I kept this exchange going a bit too long.

    But..I think the not really being that invested part came through….

    I think the “asshole” part is a matter of degree. The idea is to not appear too emotionally invested or caring. Yah, sure you can’t be a complete dick to someone who’s gone out of their way to buy you gifts and make time for you.

    At the same time, if she says something like she does above about losing me not being a big deal….you need to reframe it….or shrug it off.

    Like


    • better than ‘i need/want someone openminded’ is ‘i thought you were openminded’.

      Like


      • Gold! “I thought you were [xxx]”

        I thought you were cool.

        I thought you were fun.

        I thought you were smart.

        I thought you were well-read….

        Like


  67. Happy Christmas!

    Like


  68. @omegatron –

    Actually, here is a better way to think about it about the “paradox”:

    An uncaring jerk is motivated by VALUES, an uncaring jerk is motivated by OUTCOMES. Values are internally driven principles and desires (“What is important to me?” “What do I want?”) and specific outcomes are external (“Does she like me?” “How many times have I been laid recently?”)

    So, an uncaring jerk can really like and value getting women to the point that he invests a lot of time and energy. But his emotional investment is in his own internal values set (doing his best, liking women/sex or whatever), not in a specific woman or evening or conversation.

    Like


  69. Growing up, my dad was an asshole to my brothers and I. He was a pretty good father to all my sisters, but us boys? we each got ignored by him around the age of 13. It was very confusing and none of his sons graduated from high school; we all left home before turning 18.

    So when he died, I didn’t go to his funeral, neither did my older brother. All my sisters were pissed at us. I wasn’t angry at him, I just couldn’t stomach all the phoniness that his funeral was gonna generate.

    I was honoring him by being an asshole, just like him.

    Not only would he understand but it would probably make him proud.

    It recently dawned on me just how alpha he was. I was driving my ex somewhere and she made comments about my driving…

    My dad would never have put up with such behavior. I never witnessed it nor can I even picture a scene where my mother would even think about criticizing my dads driving.

    Thats why my ex is my “ex”

    Among his other “assholery”:

    asking permission to do something and not getting an answer

    Making us boys address him as “sir”

    Giving us boys “the silent treatment”

    My sisters think Im an asshole for pointing out how much of an asshole our dad was.

    The list of caskets I won’t be carrying grows longer everyday.

    Like


  70. on December 26, 2011 at 7:53 am View from inside a hot chick

    For some time I’ve been arguing the opposite of the point in this article, but I’m willing to let my own pretty lies perish too:
    http://www.alternet.org/newsandviews/article/753523/evidence:_there%27s_no_biological_reason_for_gender_gap_in_math_and_science

    Gotta look at the data.

    Like


  71. Celebrity gals who look older than their declared age:

    http://madamenoire.com/85463/theyre-how-old-celebrity-gals-who-look-much-older-than-their-real-age/

    Watch the hamsters run for their lives in the comments.

    Like


  72. on December 26, 2011 at 12:04 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM)

    lzozozlzozozl here is a merry xmas mesaagee from my firgfireeidn! girlfriend!! zlozzlzlzl

    lzozozlzozzl she tuaght me how to not be a

    bugaboo
    nor a
    peon

    lzozozozozlzlzolzlzllzlzozozl

    yo yo motahhatc fuckas bring da movies! !lzozlz

    Like


  73. With apologies to GBFM:

    http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/912/tucker-max-i-hope-they-serve-beer-in-hell/

    “The most interesting character in the book might be Tuck’s BFF, Slingblade, … Slingblade and Tucker represent the yin and yang of aggressive game. Tucker gets laid for being an asshole, while Slingblade gets shut down for being an asshole. For those of us who are assholes, it’s an invaluable case study. Most of us are in the middle. One day you spiritually de-pants some innocent fool at a party, and suddenly you’ve got more tail hanging on you than Davy Crockett. Another day, your vicious drunken ramblings so deeply alienate every woman in the room that it wouldn’t matter if you had a 10-inch, gold-plated cock. After reading this book, I feel l like I have a clearer handle on which kind of asshole behavior moistens and which kind chills. Without going very far into it, Tucker’s recipe for success seems to be to take her along for the ride, rather than leave her in the wake or, like Slingblade, run her straight over. Offer her the chance to be Bonny to your Clyde.”

    From reading the guy’s other stories, slingblade is indeed the caring asshole described here. His first gf whored around on him, so his assholery comes from bitterness and desire for vengeance.

    Like


    • on December 27, 2011 at 2:09 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM)

      yahaha and be sure to buttehx her and taper it sectroeey

      as dat is heoroic and you will be praised in da pages of tehe da neococnths buttehxuxualalalized weekly standadtdh and wired hudndgreds of thosunds ofofod laoors of benenrkenek cashola 4 your eheoric buttheixng enedoeeavoororo slzozlzlzlzl

      Like


  74. How are guys any different than “sluts”?

    [heartiste: level of difficulty.]

    Like


  75. on December 27, 2011 at 8:02 am Harald Senström

    Omegatron:

    I’m somewhat puzzled about this too. Very few guys can just sit around and have girls come up to them, and that is one of the few cases were you can truly say that you don’t care about outcome.

    Like


  76. on December 27, 2011 at 8:34 am crashedupderby

    ‘the zen way of poon’

    …by trying to get into her pants, you are actually not trying to get into her pants…

    Like


  77. Did you see this wacky feminist video that calls Christmas songs sexist?

    Like


  78. I was jokingly texting a woman I’m dating who was bragging about what nice tits she had, that that I was interested in her mind yesterday….seems to have struck a nerve. She’s a little uppity about it.

    This morning she texted me, here’s the script:

    Her > Goodmorning Sunshine!

    Me(1.5 Hr later) > Morning, what’s up, just doing some work on some computers here at the office

    Her > I’m going shopping!

    Me > Sexy underwear

    Her > I though u were only interested in my mind

    Me > It’s a starting point

    Her > Well then I’ll get some nice underwear 4 my mind

    Me > batman

    Any help here would be much appreciated.

    She’s just responded: Batman underwear?

    That’s actually a good response. I still haven’t answered her. She was being a little uppity about me saying I was only interested in her mind.

    I think I’ll just drop it altogether for a few hours, ignore it, and text back later with a new subject.

    Like


  79. EDIT: I texted her yesterday that I was *ONLY* interested in her mind, when she was bragging about her tits…..

    Like


  80. […] I used to be a nice guy But that don’t get you anywhere So now I’m just a piece of shit, idiot Who’s too stupid to care […]

    Like


  81. […] Greeks are abandoning their children as they can’t afford to feed them. Wow. Little I can add to this story. Downward mobility is truly tragic. The examples cited are the typical, young unemployed single mothers. Got knocked up by an alpha, got abandoned. But there was State, the sugar daddy of last resort. Alas, in Greece, even the State abandons you. The Greek is the ultimate alpha male if you think about it. A real uncaring asshole. […]

    Like