“Nad Z” girlifies:
So I’m 18. Chick. Lost my virginity at 15. So. Basically. I’m hot. I found your writing by googling why girls are sluts and now I’m addicted to your site and it’s so interesting but confusing for me. I’m 100% cliche in wanting the passionate bad boy that’ll leave marks on me- and if I flash and ride so many cocks, he’s only going to want me during the next couple years because he’ll sense I’m great in bed? Even though I already get hit on, is he already thinking that? Does that mean I’ll never be able to date him or something close to him?
Should I settle for a guy that’s not quite up to my standards and date him to avoid becoming a slut so I’ll get someone up to my standards later because guys don’t want sluts(right?)?
I don’t care if this goes up on your site but if you’re going to slyly insult me I’d rather you not do it publicly. I’m already embarrassed enough. Hahahaha. Oh what the fuck I don’t care. It’ll be hilarious.
Why would you think your question qualifies for a sly insult? Your suspicions are misplaced.
Anyhow, first we have to be sure we’re on the same page, definitionally. A slut is not a girl who has a lot of kinky, exploratory sex with one man she adores. No, that is called a perfect woman. A slut is a girl who has sex with a lot of different men. A slut is sexually promiscuous, not necessarily sexually voracious, (although the two do often go tingle-in-tingle). A faithful woman to her lover who would never look at another man desirously can be sexually adventurous with him and him alone, (although extraordinarily faithful women tend to have enervated sex drives that dampen their enthusiasm for cheating).
The strength of a woman’s fidelity depends in equal measure on her own self-control and her man’s ability to stoke her desire.
So which are you? Do you crave sexual experiences with numerous men? Do you fantasize about raunchy sex every time you’re in the presence of a new badboy? Or do you want to find that one badboy lover who will make an honest woman of you, and settle into monogamous bliss punctuated by occasional forays into mutual public sex and auto-asphyxiation?
I can’t read your mind or your hamster’s mind, but I can tell you that losing your virginity at the relatively young age of 15, plus your self-professed hotness and desire to be marked by aggressive sex, are leading indicators you are headed for a good ten to fifteen years of hopping on and off the cock carousel, which will, in the long run, hurt your chances to marry a high quality man once your window of exquisite attractiveness has closed.
However, you are self-aware enough to come to this site and ask about the negative effects that sluttery may have on your mating prospects, so that weighs in favor of you making smarter choices than most young women with your suite of psychological and physical traits.
Here is my final judgment:
1. If you are extremely hot — top 5-10% of female looks — you can get away with a bit of real sluttery without hurting your chances to extract commitment from alpha male badboys in your prime, or from beta male providers in your sub-prime. This is because extreme female beauty tends to override all other considerations in a man’s mind of what qualifies a woman as a good relationship prospect.
2. Your sexual voracity, enthusiasm and expertise in bed will not be much of a self-incriminating slut tell. A woman who unleashes in the sack could be a slut, or she could be a woman who lusts for her man so badly that she loses all her inhibitions in the firm grip of his arms and cock.
3. Don’t jump into bed with the first badboy who shows you interest. Act coy, which means in practice act like you are working hard to conceal your lust for him, and when the moment is right for you, you will accept his ravagings. Since you are 18 and still aglow with high school perspective, I suggest waiting a good six weeks or more before putting out. This will weed out the badboys who will use you like tissue paper from the badboys who will put up a satisfying fight before acceding to a longer-term commitment. If you are as hot as you say you are, you won’t have much trouble keeping a man interested in pursuing you despite his burgeoning blue balls.
4. Don’t give him a blowjob the first time you have sex. Wild, skilled sex is not a giveaway that a woman is a promiscuous slut. But an expert blowjob definitely is a slut giveaway. No man will subtract points from your girlfriend potential score if you give good sex, but most men will add points to your slut score if you know how to polish a knob, especially on the first date. With that in mind, I suggest you wait a month or two before going down on him, and when you do eventually navigate your mouth to his staff of surliness to pretend that you don’t know what you’re doing down there, (but you’re a quick learner).
5. Don’t settle for a guy who’s not up to your standards, at least not while you’re in your fertile prime. (Save the settling for later, when the wall is peeking over the horizon and you’re starting to notice the female competition getting younger.) No good can come from being in a self-sacrificial relationship with a man you don’t, or can’t, love. Dating a beta male won’t stop you from being a slut; in fact, the opposite is more likely to happen — you’ll be so unfulfilled in your relationship that you’ll feel a stronger urge to step out on it. And then once you acquire that cheating whore reputation… game over, maa’aam. GAME OVER.
6. Dating down is only for women who don’t have the option to date up. If you can still date up (and at 18 you are in the best position in your life you will ever be to maximally date up), you should. Settling when you have no reason to settle will only engender resentment against the man or men caught in your weird self-abnegation loop.
7. Try, however hard it may be, to avoid screwing a lot of men like you’re a pigs-in-a-blanket taste tester for a king worried about poisoning. It’s for your own good. Men who have options — that is, desirable men, alpha males, men women love — can tell which women have slutted it up with an impressive assortment of men. Experience with women tends to hone our ability to discern soulkilled sluts from unstained sweethearts. The eyes tell the tale: I have never met a slut who didn’t have those creepy, dead, black orbs for eyes. The voice, too, gives it away. Sluts tend to speak with the monotonic cadence of men, growly and inappropriately assertive, like someone who has long nursed a chip on the shoulder. The spark of life is extinguished in the hardcore slut, and one thing men love about women is their carefree joie de vivre. Sluttiness kills joie de vivre dead. Keep that in mind.