Winning Back Pissed Off Ex-Girlfriend

A reader asks:

How do you win back an ex girlfriend when she’s pissed off and not speaking to you?

You win her back by not trying to win her back.

I know that sounds cryptic, but it’s true. As soon as you make an effort to “win back” an angry ex, she’ll resent your obsequious groveling (which is what most “winning back” strategies that men employ amount to).

However, I will say this, it’s better to have a pissed off ex than an indifferent ex. Indifference, not hate, is the opposite of love. An angry ex can be gamed into a hatefuck, but an indifferent ex is already hopping on fresh cock. You are yesterday’s news.

So how do you “not-win back” an angry ex? See here. Executive summary: Avoid at all costs any post-breakup “talks”. Cut off all contact for two or three weeks, when she will be at the peak of missing you. At about that time you have a couple of options. Either call to say hi in your most nonsexual, friendly tone, and end the conversation before she does, or send a non sequitur text and she if she bites.

A lot of times, angry exes will come back to you on their accord if you just lay off them. Is she angry because you cheated on her or because you acted like a beta one too many times? If the former, she’ll rush back, vaginally itching to forgive you. If the latter, she’s already forgotten you.





Comments


  1. Corey Worthington game would work very well under these circumstances.

    Like


  2. However, I will say this, it’s better to have a pissed off ex than an indifferent ex. Indifference, not hate, is the opposite of love. An angry ex can be gamed into a hatefuck

    Once I can stomach the idea
    of actually going to Toronto
    without throwing up,
    I was sort of planning on this
    with Sofia

    Like


    • Come to Vancouver, Firepower!

      Like


      • i dont want to fuck sofia in vancouver
        too many asian hockey hooligans

        Like


      • Chicken.

        Them hockey hooligans manifest in 3 downtown blocks. Fuck her in Whistler or Sechelt. Nice scenery.

        Like


      • I will. As a paki, she’ll serve as the perfect pc Canadian bodyguard against all those insufferably annoying commie G12 and Global Warming! Protesters, Inc. I’ll just tell the flannel shirt crowd she’s my urologist.

        I’ll just have to watch out for that aggressive Vagina Dentata of hers.

        Like


    • Sofia? Suck-It-Down-Sofia? Yeah,good move. Go back and win her over,LOL!!!

      Like


  3. on July 8, 2011 at 4:10 pm johnnymilfquest

    I think this is one of those “be careful what you wish for” questions.

    I first learned about Game when my ex and I had split for the first time. We stayed in touch over the phone, but I got much less reactive to all her powerplays and bullshit.

    Apparently, she loved the new assertive me and made some big changes in her life to win me back. After a few months of holding out on her I caved and went back to her. Big mistake.

    I’m single-for-life now. Live and learn.

    Like


  4. “Is she angry because you cheated on her or because you acted like a beta one too many times? If the former, she’ll rush back, vaginally itching to forgive you. If the latter, she’s already forgotten you.”

    Monumental truth. Notice how much more attractive a girl is when she’s crying with open eyes and/or burning angry from betrayal as compared to how she looks when she’s repulsed and annoyed.

    The former is hot and boner-inducing. The latter looks terrible. And for good reason. It’s a direct signal to Mr. Beta: go away, you don’t want this.

    The fiery anger display may as well be an advertisement to rough domination. The sorrow, an invitation to be soothed (vaginally).

    Once, a couple days after having discovered I had cheated on her, my then-girlfriend feverishly clambered on me for a ride and once she got the tension-relieving raunching she desired she blissfully sighed “I was going to make you wait soooooo long.”

    Like


    • The former is hot and boner-inducing.

      Why is it a turn-on to see a girl cry?

      Like


      • Excepting for this discussion episodes of profuse nose-running and uncontrollable sobbing, many women will look younger and more vulnerable when they cry.

        Cheeks flushed, eyes glistening, mouth open with labored breathing.

        This male reaction is partly because women cry about all sorts of meaningless, inconsequential shit. From the astute man’s perspective its fairly silly because he knows that it’s mostly feminine nonsense to be ignored, and after a period of such, and a good shagging, her emotional circuits will be reset. Indifferently walking away from a crying girlfriend may seem cruel, but it will draw her closer to you.

        But beta guys co-op themselves into the sorrow charade and wonder how they can “fix” it and make it better, thinking they will be rewarded for their compassion with sex.

        Young women often instinctual cry when they get pulled over for minor traffic violations. It signals “I’m a delicate creature, needing of comfort and protection (which means sex for you)” and cops respond favorably with more lenient treatment than would be afforded men who did the same.

        Like


      • JACK SAID:
        uncontrollable sobbing, many women will look younger and more vulnerable when they cry. Cheeks flushed, eyes glistening, mouth open with labored breathing

        NEECY SAYS:
        OMG Jack, I never thought of it this way! *note to self. cry like a mofo when u want something from your boo*.
        Ladies, even if you can’t make yourself cry there are items easily purchased at the store than can help.

        (1) Tear/eye drops (to help increase tearing) – but make sure you do this RIGHT at the point you plan on appearing distressed that way it will be fresh,

        (2) Hot ass peppers (to induce heavy panted breathing, an open mouth (its hard to just keep your mouth open for long periods of time without the help of something like peppers) and flushed cheeks (this will only work on a White person) – If you are Black or another form of minority with darker skin that would not produce flush cheeks from hot peppers, go to MAC, and buy one of their rich berry blushes – get a Sonia Kashuk flat top blush brusher (at target for $14.99) and swipe on cheeks like you lost your mind.

        (3) I knew there was a reason I couldn’t stay away.

        Like


  5. “Indifference, not hate, is the opposite of love”

    This is a great gambit that I’ve used countless, upon countless times with women in the comfort stage. When in conversations about past lovers, flames, etc. it’s always great to interject with “What do you think is the opposite of love?” All women almost always answer “hate” without even thinking about the answer. Then you can explain why indifference is the true opposite. It’s a great way signal your mastery in matters of the heart and is a pretty good DHV to throw in with the rest of the comfort stage.

    Like


  6. Roissy, you forget that she will not rush back if the cheated upon girl was an ugly, and broke up because she considered her boyfriend too high value to keep up. often this generates hate as a self-defense mechanism, which i have seen employed more than once. so that’s another scenario you forgot

    Like


    • interesting

      Like


    • He’d probably answer that an ugly that doesn’t rush back is preferable to remaining with an ugly. No loss, no problem.

      The operating assumption here is that the potentially-lost girlfriend is actually hot (i.e. worth keeping).

      Besides, a hatred contrived to mask lower SMV is still easier to convert to casual sex than indifference following from a girl’s self-perceived higher SMV.

      Like


  7. on July 8, 2011 at 5:00 pm Paul Revere

    Mike: Okay, so what if I don’t want to give up on her?
    Rob: You don’t call.
    Mike: But you said I don’t call if I wanted to give up on her.
    Rob: Right.
    Mike: So I don’t call either way?
    Rob: Right.
    Mike: So what’s the difference?
    Rob: There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back. But you can’t do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back.
    Mike: So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her?
    Rob: Right.
    Mike: Well that sucks.
    Rob: Yeah, it sucks.
    Mike: So it’s just like a retroactive decision, then? I mean I could, like, forget about her and then when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her?
    Rob: Right. Although probably more likely the opposite.
    Mike: What do you mean?
    Rob: I mean at first you’re going to pretend to forget about her, you’ll not call her, I don’t know, whatever… but then eventually, you really will forget about her.
    Mike: Well what if she comes back first?
    Rob: Mmmm… see, that’s the thing, is somehow they know not to come back until you really forget.
    Mike: There’s the rub.
    Rob: There’s the rub.

    –Swingers

    Like


  8. Face it. Most women are interchangeable. That’s more than partly true.

    Use this: if you feel like calling her back, call someone else. Go meet someone else. Know that other chicks are likely just as interesting and with the right training can be better in bed.

    Think how much fun it’ll be while you search for that new chick.

    Should your ex want to reconnect – wait for her to approach and do it on your terms. Watch out for reconnections that are just about her getting closure – or, more to the point, her verifying that she made the right decision.

    Like


    • Amen. Most women are interchangeable yet men spend countless hours and priceless energy trying to get an ex back.

      Missed your posts Gorbie

      Like


    • Her next partner, she hopes will be “handsome, slim and at least 10 years younger than me,” she told the Daily Mail.

      UNBELIEVABLE

      Like


    • Please report her to New Jersey for abusing her 4 year old & making her feed her.

      http://www.state.nj.us/dcf/contact/

      Like


    • “She claims that she has 7,000 paying fans, and makes nearly $100,000 annually from the site, according to the Daily Mail. A three-day membership to her site goes for $7.95, and a one-month membership costs $19.95. For that you get to see videos like “Squashing,” “Blue Dress” and “Eating a Pie” plus access to more than 270 photos. She believes the record she holds as Heaviest Woman to Give Birth sets her apart from other big women with similar sites.”

      Not only are there men with such fatty fetishes, but there are men who are willing to pay for such fetishes is completely outrageous. It’s absolutely unbelievable.

      Like


  9. on July 8, 2011 at 5:12 pm The Shocker

    My ex’s haven’t figured out LinkedIn tells you who views your profile.

    “Your profile has been viewed by 12 people in the last 15 days.”

    Like


  10. Go fuck another woman or two, or ten.

    Like


  11. The Game was just picked up for a movie by MGM.

    http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/mgm-picks-up-neil-strauss-209318

    Like


    • If Hollywood does half a good a job as they did with Tranformers 39, Flyboys and Green Lantern…I’m sure it’ll be an enjoyable dose of shit.

      Like


  12. Is she angry because you cheated on her or because you acted like a beta one too many times? If the former, she’ll rush back, vaginally itching to forgive you…

    Truth, especially if the other girl was hotter or younger. She’ll shit test the fuck out of you, but once you pass those, she’ll love you more than ever.

    Like


  13. So, I’m in a kind of liminal state with my relationship now. We’ve lived together for 6 years, very in with her family, great lifestyle, similar career trajectories, etc. She was teaching a month long class in a different space this summer and didn’t want me to come along. Tried very hard to (mistake of course). Lots of fighting, she was growing more indifferent (though not pure indifference, just reappraisal of whether a good future was possible). Oh, and I cheated on her a lot, 12 girls of which she knows about (varying hotness, though some ugly cum dumpsters too). She’s younger, an easy 8, classy, *very* smart.

    So, I’ve made all the mistakes of texting her, calling etc, even though I read this blog, as emotion and apprehension got the worst of me. She left today (we had been staying in separate apts for the past 2 weeks–long story). I had some stuff she needed and I was going to pick her up and take her to the airport.

    Sexed her in the apt before the trip to the airport. She’s all lovely dovey texting from the airport. She’s gone now. I have to face this month and I want to reconcile at the end (we share apt). Where I remain, there are 4 girls that she knows about that want to have varying levels of “relationships.” She passive aggressively tells me that I’m just going to sleep with them while she’s gone.

    How do I orient my contact with her while she is away? She is living with another dude (no interest, trust me) who is so beta he has a cat named beta. Since it’s been such a long relationship, I don’t think the no contact thing can be done full-on. Also, she reads and resents this blog!

    Like


    • It’s bad for your state and her image of you for you to have cheated on her with some ugly cum dumpsters and for her to know about it.

      Were you in separate apartments for two weeks before she left because she was pissed about yet another cheating episode she discovered? Are you going to be in different apartments when she comes backs? It does sound to me like she’s planning to leave you, or anyway is close to that decision which she figures she’ll make during this month away. She’ll be very susceptible to getting picked up by some guy while she’s away and having a fling.

      Her knowing about 12 other women in the six years you’ve been living together is not being discreet. If her friends know about it too they will have been putting pressure on her to leave you.

      Return one text for every three of hers or so, although you can have chats with her as long as she usually initiates them one way or another. Be warm in them but somewhat aloof via text or email at times too. Date while she’s away but only hot chicks. Be discrete about it. Also have the position that you figured she was about to break up with you. Don’t let her friends think you’re dissing her.

      Like


  14. The April 2007 post that Roissy links to was one of his first, goes into a lot of detail, and is excellent. Really worth a read, esp. for game newbies.

    Read the comments too. In them Roissy gives tailored how to win your ex back advice to several commenters on an ongoing basis over the course of a number of weeks. And at least two of the commenters that Roissy was working with reported it worked!

    Good stuff. 200 comments in your second week of blogging when you’re not a celebrity is some feat, though admitted that tread stayed active for a couple of months iirc.

    Like


  15. If you dislike CR’s advice, and you live in Cali, try this chick.

    http://vanae.com/

    If you read all about her, you can basically guess what she’s going to tell you.

    http://vanae.com/about/

    Who knows. Maybe you’ll be able to have conversations with your inner woman after hiring her.

    Like


  16. Thanks Doug. Yes, I know the uglies reflect poorly (we’re talking 5s and 6s). She has rationalized it (properly so) as me getting bored while she’s away and just wanting to throw one down the hallway. But I know it still causes her to question my value.

    The two apt story is complicated and uninteresting, but it was circumstantial and not cheating related.

    I would say that her knowing about the women is partially indiscreetness and mostly her going through my email and phone (she has used sophisticated “sniffer” programs to gain passwords in the past, set up forwarding without me knowing, etc).

    I think she is mulling leaving, but we have a huge investment in our relationship and she knows it would kill her family (she would never speak ill of me to them). But of course, I want her to want the relationship not out of entrapment, but of desire. Thus, I want to calibrate properly.

    I think that she is susceptible to getting picked up. I have concerns about this. I plan not to inquire, and frankly I don’t really care that much because she won’t be living there very long. I mean, I care, but more concerned with her finding real alternative to me.

    The problem I have with returning 1 text for every 3 is that she will assume I am cheating on her if I am lackluster in responding. This will build resentment, so I don’t know that the prototypical strategy Roissy lays out here works well with our track record and long LTR. She knows she has the power, but she wants me to take it back. I just don’t know what tactics will work. For instance, she assumes that if I don’t call her a bunch until she answers that I am out cheating. But when I call her a bunch, I look weak.

    I am making things out to be more rocky than they are, but proper game is certainly needed.

    Like


  17. on July 8, 2011 at 8:19 pm "Nancy Grace"

    Does anyone want to talk about Casey Anthony.

    Like


  18. A woman’s willingness to tolerate her man’s philandering is directly related to how she judges his conduct in his extra-monogamous pursuits.

    Keeping them discreet, low-key, spawnless, and with attractive women are the hallmarks of an unfaithfulness that a woman can begrudgingly tolerate (with a few thousand hampster cycles) — the classic affair.

    Any actions that indicate incredible stupidity, dumpster-diving desperation or both will negatively impact her acceptance threshold and her ultimate judgment of you as a mate, beyond the simple fact that you fucked someone else.

    Haphazardly fathering a bastard with the help or trusting that somehow those drunken and/or suggestive photos won’t end up on Facebook are the consequences of indiscretion and an inability to premeditate one’s infidelities.

    While it might suffice to excuse one transgression entailing such stupidities, multiple, continual extracurricular affairs require savvy and self-control. That’s why you never hear about the men who accomplish this.

    They spare their wives/girlfriends the humiliation and save for themselves the ability to continue doing what they want to do, which is sleep with other women while also having a long term relationship.

    Unless you told her (also stupid) about all 12 paramours, chances are you did something pretty dumb to be caught by her, and this weighs on her judgment. Its a sort of shit-test by proxy: If you’re gonna cheat, you’d better be good at it.

    Like


  19. Mainly, she used sniffer programs to find passwords, set up forwarding without me knowing (done in my settings, which are hidden unless you look at them and never had reason to look), accessed my phone through a proxy on our wireless network, etc. So, no, I didn’t tell her. Also, we’re talking women in the 5-8 range, though in my opinion and likely hers, only 2 approaching her.

    Like


    • First, you’re an idiot for leaving ALL your information unprotected. Password that shit! Lock your phone, always. Want to hand over your bank account info to me while you’re at it? My god.

      Like


  20. I wish I had read this 3 months ago… I wouldn’t have as many sleepless nights as I have now.

    Like


  21. Breaking up and getting back together never works. Just start fresh.

    Like


    • Neecy, “works,” in your view likely means marriage/ lifelong commitment, whereas “works” in his view may simply entail fucking her for a few more months or years as his needs dictate.

      Stop projecting and read the past few years worth of posts and comments before you make the mistakes that other women of your sort have.

      Like


      • LOL Its really not that serious Jack. Most of you are just pathetic dickheads with no respect. If you think I plan on spending any of my quality time on this board think again. Right now I am home, with a terrible fever and bored out of my witts. I don’t plan on being here long after my fever clears up. You are pure entertainment. i though I would stick around – but communicating with bitter disrespectful dickheads is only temporary for me.

        Now a few have been fun to communicate with and its unfortunate that they are a small minority on this blog.

        ZORRO – I love you hun. I don’t mean this towards you at all 🙂

        Like


      • Admit it…it turns you on to read this stuff. You get an air of superiority that you would be with “That” type of guy….except…even though you’re on your death-bed you still manage to find the strength to type a reply….Game works.

        Like


      • I cannot tell a lie – sometimes the writers (and respondents) of this blog crack me the hell up. And other times make me shake my head in utter disgust – which makes me want to don a t-shirt that says:

        Then you have the jerk offs running behind me every milisecond foaming at the mouth about “how my opinion doesn’t matter”. Well I’ve got somethingg for them too and it reads (see caption 3 bottom left. replace “pull my finger” with “your opinion doesn’t matter”, lather, rinse and repeat (i got that from here I love it).

        Like


      • Shaming language checklist:

        Bitter – check
        Pathetic – check
        RESPECT WOMEN – check
        assumption of moral superiority – check
        disgustingly conceited language – check

        No wonder you can’t find a good man.

        Like


      • Interesting….

        “LOL …. Most of you are just pathetic dickheads with no respect. If you think I plan on … my quality time …. Right now I am home, with a terrible fever and bored …. I don’t plan on …. You are pure entertainment. i though I would …communicating with bitter disrespectful dickheads is only temporary for me. Now a few have been fun to communicate with and its unfortunate that they are a small minority on this blog. ZORRO – I love you …. I don’t mean …

        Every “I” statement (and there are LOTS in a very short post) bucks up her self-image. Every “you” statement belittles others.

        Based on that limited interaction, what we seem to have here, folks, is a narcissist, and a not very socially skilled or self-aware one.

        Like


      • I am SO NOT a narcississt!

        Like


      • Keep your delusion hamster well fed. You’re an excellent case and I hope you stay so I can relish the fullness of your narcissism again and again.

        Like


      • I’m trying to learn all the terms here.

        Does hamster = Vagina?

        Like


      • Does Hamster = Vagina? Just trying to get the terms down here…..

        Like


      • Does hamster = Vagina?

        No. That would be Beaver. I guess the confusion is with Hamster being furry.

        In the context of this blog, the Hamster represents the agent, a mover as it were, of the interface between your hind brain and cerebral cortex–a rationalization spinning wheel.

        And girl, it’s a blur in your case, hands down.

        Like


      • Ooooh. Interresting.

        *don’t mind me while I collect the terms I’ve learned so far*

        Neg – is a slight/sly diss

        Hamster is a brain function

        got it!

        Like


  22. on July 8, 2011 at 9:35 pm Sociopathic Narcissist

    Neecy, no one gives a fuck about your opinion.

    Like


    • and i don’t give a fuck about yours.

      Like


      • your numerous (and quick!) responses suggest otherwise

        Like


      • Last i checked I wasn’t going around asking anyone here what they thought about my opinions, if they were relevant etc. I’m not the one doing the stalking here. If you really want me to believe my opinion doesn’t matter, then don’t reply or respond to me. Trust me, there will be no love lost…

        Like


  23. “She wont do it but her sister will.”
    Amen.

    Like


  24. So I want an opinion. My girl ditched me in mid April after finding out I cheated on her. I’ve mostly ignored her since. Two days ago, she sent me a facebook message telling me she had a dream about me and that our relationship “had a lot of perfect moments.” then she sent well wishes since I’m on a trip out of the country.

    What’s the best strategy to employ at this point?

    Like


  25. “Executive summary: Avoid at all costs any post-breakup “talks”. Cut off all contact for two or three weeks, when she will be at the peak of missing you.”

    This is beautiful!

    Quick question: What to do if she initiates contact within those two-three weeks? How to respond?

    Like


  26. Can tell you the bullshit I was stupid enough to fall for when I was the pissed off ex….
    -Wasn’t pissed off from him cheating, though – never been cheated on (threesomes help…) and I can’t imagine ever taking back a guy who had been regularly fucking someone else behind my back. Ever. Don’t see how anyone but an idiot with no pride or other options could do that.

    Definitely have to wait At Least a few weeks before attempting any contact (or a few months, etc) -and she may not pick up for a long while (I didn’t, and would Never have called him again on my own).
    At first, say you just want to see how she’s doing, and hope that you guys can just be good friends.
    Then start throwing in “babe” during conversations, mention how you’re a totally different person now than the dick you were when you two were dating – how now you want her to get to know you as a mature adult who understands the mistakes he made in the past. And how you really really want to just have her around again to treat like a queen, and to make up for everything mean you’ve done before.
    And then if she’s dumb and/or trusting enough to actually believe any of this – congrats!
    Maybe that seems like sniveling ‘beta’ behavior or whatnot, but I can speak from my own experience here at least .
    The girl will know that you have plenty of other female options available, but that you want her. And it goes the other way, too – you know other guys are hitting on her constantly as well – so thats a good sexual tension there, will (hopefully) remind both of you of the great sex you had together – and so on….

    Like


  27. OT, but I think the blog owner will be interested in this story:

    Journalist stages her OWN rape to cure trauma of witnessing sex attack on woman in Haiti

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2011460/Journalist-stages-rape-cure-PTSD-caused-Haitian-womans-real-sex-attack.html#ixzz1RM3qKQWE

    Like


    • the mind boggles…

      Like


    • Actually, that was not a “trauma”, witnessing it. It turned her on so much that she needed her own rape. Prolly heard that the orgasm is rather intense in the rape situations.

      Here’s the list:
      1. Satisfying her curiosity
      2. Possible intense orgasm
      3. Successful attention whoring
      4. Fashional “compassion” smugness to flaunt in her SWPL circles

      “What about the rape?”

      Like


  28. Good advice. I think someone already said it, but I’d add that this would be an excellent time to hit up some fresh girls, if you aren’t already. Ask yourself what’s so special about this one particular girl that it’s worth worrying about? My guess is, probably not as much as you might think. But it’s all in the eye of the beholder, I suppose…

    Like


  29. This honestly, is bad advice. It way work on loser ass chicks, who you only want to fuck for ego sake. Neece’s right, y’all are dickheads who don’t really comprehend the importance of a substantial relationship.

    Like


  30. This must be one of those things that works on hot girls but not average/ugly ones. I’m not saying that as a joke since it may be that the hot girls have more estrogen, and others are too “man” to backtrack easily.

    I have never in my life been able to successfully take back a guy who rejected or failed me in the past. I have tried to, but it’s like something switches off inside me. I suppose one could say that the ones (3 total) I tried to take back were successful in the way of getting sex, but let’s just say I was not at peak performance.

    It may be because of a belief that someone who could harm me does not and cannot love me, so there is no hope or good faith at that point. I don’t trust them anymore. They turn from solid to liquid in my soul I guess. Even if I still love them, I love them like someone might love a pet poisonous snake.

    It’s like in the darkness, I could convince myself that I was holding the arm of a man, but then the lights came on and they were a just a snake…metaphorically anyway. Indeed, at the point they come back trying to get in again, I emotionally hold them by the neck and manipulate the situation in a way they can’t coil around me and strangle me again.

    It’s not that they aren’t a man, just that they aren’t a man from my perspective. All I got from them was the shaft, so this is all about them that is relevant to me.

    I suppose that the reason I feel as I do is that nobody has ever felt me worth doing what it would take to win back my trust. The day that changes, I may feel differently. So I’m not recruiting or saying that this is the healthiest way to feel about exes. I’m just weighing in.

    Like


    • I hear ya. 30 years ago I was in a relationship with a smoking hot girl that, after 8 months, just disappeared to Florida for a year. Then she came back and wanted me to take her back.

      Like I was so into the chance to be abandoned again.

      Like


      • …but you’re a guy. Women aren’t so logical about these things. Even I’m not even though logic has some play in my motivations.

        Women can leave or dump a guy for stupid reasons and experience real regret over it, and return for real. My mom dumped my dad for about a year when she was 16, but when they got back together, it was for life.

        When guys dump a woman, it’s seldom for an ambiguous or hormonal reason. He’s unhappy or convinced he can do better or she doesn’t fit his plan.

        Women though…for the most part, we’re kind of crazy.

        Like


    • Nicole,

      A lot of women I think experince your same feelings. Sometimes seperation anxiety will cause one to take back an ex as well. But I just feel its never the same – even the sex… Especially if there is a trust issue.

      I’ve even seen (i have to admit I did this once myself) women take back an ex and continue to have sex with them, all the while looking for someone new. Its not right, but it happens.

      If sex is the only reason or motive to get back with her, then I guess none of the above matters.

      Like


      • That makes sense. Once you know someone will leave you for a stupid reason, even if you take them back because you’re bored or afraid to be alone, or love them like a pet snake, you’re always looking for someone better. This is why I just don’t date them again.

        It’s more for their protection than for mine. I don’t think I could avoid eventual vengeance because I already feel a kind of schadenfreude. I don’t want to be the one to cheat on them or treat them like crap. That, other women will do.

        I do wonder though, if guys are glad that they dumped someone who was good to them, while they’re being treated like crap by women they initially thought were better/hotter/whatever than the one they dumped.

        I’m not sure because they never seem to know what they did to deserve what’s happening to them. They always ask, “What have I done to deserve this?”

        Like


      • Yep. I don’t believe in the Love Part 2 – “break up to make up” meme. Once its done its done. After the one time I did take an ex back, I was just not that into him although I allowed myself to cotinue to sleep with him. Better believe I was on the look out for the next one, and when one was close enough, I ended it again. Afterwards, i didn’t like what i did, so I vowed no more Love part 2’s for moi.

        Some people are just gluttons for punishment. So they dump a good thing in order to pursue a bad thing. Then as you said wonder “why is this happening to me”. Common theme in today’s relationships.

        Like


      • I’d say that’s more common for women to do than men…at least in my observation. Men usually have good or at least rational reasons for breaking up. The problem is in the data they’re given about quality.

        There is almost always someone hotter out there. The question is whether or not those hotter women are available and going to give the guy what he needs. One could argue that all a woman needs to be is hot, but the ones who’d say that have never encountered one who’s a thief or carrying a disease or poised to accuse them of a crime, etc.

        Those who are aware of the damage a bad one can do, tend to appreciate the good ones more. Sadly, they often don’t gain this level of awareness until they are older, which is why I prefer older men.

        They’ve either experienced enough or seen enough by 40 that you don’t have to teach them how to pee standing up. They either like you or don’t. If they don’t like you, they’re not going to waste your life just because they’re horny or bored or afraid to be alone.

        Like


      • Nicole that’s very true. We live in a society today , where everyone is searching for the HOLY GRAIL in people. And while i limit my Holy Grail desires to make-up, skin & hair products, you cannot apply that same logic to relationships and people – and this herein lies the problem.

        And you are right, men tend not to end relationships as do women. My mother always told me very young – that men usually aren’t the ones to close the door first. And in dating I saw this tried and true. With the b/f’s who cheated I assumed they did it b/c something was wrong with me and therefore, he wanted something better. But then, I’d see that they weren’t breaking things off. So when the break up would happen and they’re trying to keep the relationship or calling me trying to get back together I would be confused and always ask ‘if you weren’t happy with me then why didn’t you just break up with me instead of cheating on me?” of course I would get the dumbfounded “I’onno” look and never received an answer to that question. I finally put two and two together and remembered what my MOMMA told me – they wanna have their cake and eat it to. Its not really about me or what I am or not doing, b/c if I were that bad he’d break up with me – right? NOOOOOOO. In every case I had to be the one to end it – even though they were the ones cheating. If a man is HALF-way happy with you but not happy enough to keep his d!ck in his pants with other “hotter” women, he may very well keep things dragging along until the woman being used finally ends it.

        Either way, in any situation when dealing with human beings – there is no perfection, no perfect one. I believe for every choice there is a benefit or consequence. If you make the right choice and get benefits, yet yearn for something better more perfect – then be prepared for the consequences if it doesn’t work out on your behalf. But the kicker is, most people who experience the consequences, don’t want to accept them for what they are.

        Like


  31. About the twitter comment about the mystery of Harry Potter books being popular, I always assumed the target market was pubescent boys and females. A man should find such plot driven narrative boring.

    But I haven’t read them. I’m into drama if it uncovers social dynamics and teaches how to gain hand. And if it carries a witty mood.

    Like


  32. I think that reader who submitted the question was me lol. My gf broke up wid me and i did the no contact stuff and I won her back. Problem was is that she moved to NYC for an internship. She would visit a few times and we would hook up. Then in march a few weeks before her bday she tells me she has a new man. I told her oh well at least I got some from you. She got super mad and told me never to call her. I did not call her on her bday and randomly i see her back in my city at a bball game. She doesn’t say hi to me and completely ignores my presence. Now it’s June and I havent talked to her since march and I’m still messed up over it. I want her back. I don’t want any other girl. She my #1 and i miss her lol. It’s super beta but I don’t care she made me happy and that’s what’s most important now she won’t talk to me at all. What’s the best move ??

    Like


    • Dude,

      Your problem’s Oneitis, not this girl.

      Trust me on this. A new girl will wipe your memory.

      You’re twice as interesting as any girl you date. and that’s being generous to the women you date.

      Leave her to her new man.

      Find someone younger and prettier. And then move on. Believe it: No woman is worth it.

      Like


      • You just haven’t dated one yet who is worth it. Once you do, you’ll be singing a different tune.

        What will keep her memory alive isn’t that she was the hottest or the best in bed, but that she loved him. If she really did, she may be the only woman he ever meets in his life aside of his mother, who only wanted love from him.

        He should move on though. He’s done enough damage.

        Like


      • Nicole, no woman is worth oneitis, even if she’s the hottest thing on earth. Zip. Trust me on this.

        Relationship-wise, I only reserve a sort of oneitis to my blood descendants. It is not absolutely unconditional, though.

        Send best regards to your well oiled hamster, will ya?

        Like


      • Cadnerd, get back to me when you’re conscious of your mortality.

        It’s not that no woman is worth oneitis. It’s just that you don’t want the ones who are. So they’re worthless to you, but you aren’t the only guy in the world.

        Like


      • Nicole,

        One day, you think clearly, another day, it’s all mud. Rather curious,

        What on earth being conscious of one’s mortality has anything to do with it? I oft think of myself as a form of cat, because I have “lives”. Probably nine. Means I have two ore to go, and boy (girl), it was rather a close call several times, with all the accompanying NDE props two times. Neither I am the youngest kid on the block, I am closer to pushing up daisies than most of CR readers.

        Loki is the true god. And in his rulebook, if you care about netting the one that’s worth it, the joke is on you. I tried to break the rules a couple of times, but were always humbled by you know whom.

        It was after that I realized what the rules are. If you’re not that much into religious lore, let’s just call it Laws of unintended consequences.

        Like


      • Cadnerd, being conscious of one’s mortality has everything to do with it.

        Also, you’re right about trying to hold onto things you think are “worth it”. While we’re on the subject of Loki and other Eshu like energies, face is one of those things people cling too hard to, and end up losing as a result.

        No woman is worth your dignity, and incidentally, giving this up would make it more difficult for a woman to love you. For women, admiration is the seed of love.

        How though, do you expect a woman to admire you if you never do anything courageous?

        As I see thing, life is too short to waste on people who don’t give a shit about me. If I was a guy then like most men in my family, I wouldn’t waste time or resources on women who didn’t give a shit about me.

        One of the reasons we hold this opinion is because we have what to compare the masses of wastes of breasts out there to: some pretty awesome women in my family.

        My parents have been together for over 40 years with no end in sight. I stay with my husband even though we haven’t shagged in over 6 years. Some women are worth it. The question is whether or not you’re worth a woman devoting her life to you. If you don’t want a woman to give herself to you body and soul, and just want to use her body for awhile, then saying no woman is worth oneitis is like the cat who can’t reach the milk saying it’s sour…or perhaps wishful thinking to make yourself feel better for the times you’ve made a woman regret loving you. If you say to yourself that she, who would have stayed with you through whatever, is somehow not worth it, you don’t have to admit that you were the one who was the emotional retard or exploiter in the situation.

        I’ve noticed that invariably, the guys who say no woman is worth it are themselves incapable of a long term monogamous or monogamous with wiggle room for the guy, relationship. This has nothing to do with worth, but with orientation.

        That being said though, I don’t think it’s a good idea for a guy to dig through his trash. If you don’t want to lose someone forever, don’t throw them away. If you do throw someone away, own that and understand that if you don’t get them back, it’s your own damned fault.

        However, to learn from one’s mistakes is a good thing. If one can recover from a stupid move, then they’re lucky.

        Like


      • “I stay with my husband even though we haven’t shagged in over 6 years.”

        Nicole, May i ask why you and your husband haven’t had sex (i am only asking b/c you put it out there).

        I was a pharma rep that sold Levitra (erectle dysfunction meds) at one point. I had developed a really good relationship with one of the women who worked at a medical office where i would sample the Dr. the Levitra. She would always ask me a lot of clinical stuff on the drug, so I asked her if she knew someone who suffered with ED. She said her husband did b/c he had really advanced diabetes. This woman was in her mid 40’s and so was her husband.

        Well over a period of a year of seeing this woman almost every other week , we’d chit chat about relationships etc. I’d always leave some extra samples for her to take to her husband b/c I really liked her a lot. She finally told me that she and her husband hadn’t had sex in YEARS (7) to be exact and he said to her one day “All I want is for you to just be there for me. I don’t care if you go out and have sex with someone else. Just don’t leave me.” That is BEYOND heartbreaking. So I asked her if she ever felt the need and she says she gets her tingles every now and then but doesn’t have a desire to have sex with another man b/c she really loves her husband and feels for him. She also believe that he will get better with the diabetes and his erections may come back. Basically, she is sticking it out with him. How many men would do this for their wives?

        So when I hear some of these guys on here saying how horrible women are, I think of women like you and that lady who stick by their men even when they are not getting one of the things humans need most – intimacy. I think it further proves that women are more advanced/evolved than men (oh boy I’m gonna catch it now), b/c we can see past simple intimacy. I don’t think a man could ever do that. They have to be trained and civilized to see relationships and women beyond a sexual quest.

        Like


      • Nicole, you’re projecting a bit, or spin a net of assumptions.

        One, I always uphold my end of the bargain. Tried twice, did not work out and it was not because I did not try or did not have the courage to try. But that’s a last century snow… I tend to remember the good stuff and there is no residual bitterness.

        Second, at this moment the wenches in my serail know what the bargain is. It is what it is and I do not bind anyone, they are free to leave it at the drop of a hat, whenever.

        In other words, there seems to be a season for everything, and at this juncture, the serail arrangement suits me the best. I am free to do SCL (Stuff Cadnerd Likes) because the arrangement I created is effortless and the wenches involved are content or seem to be. Everyone is happy.

        I don’t see anywhere near the horizon that mythical worth-it female, to enter an exclusive LTR. It may be that I am not searching, but hey, I did try twice, I am a LTR veteran with a couple o’ purple hearts and managed to procreate too. There are other things to do than chasing a fata morgana.

        Like


      • Cadnerd, the worth-it woman is not mythical. My family is churning them out at as high a rate as possible under the current conditions. What I’m saying is that there may be no woman in the world who is worth it *to you*.

        This does not mean that no woman is worth it *to anyone*. Some people are more conscious of their own (and others’) mortality than others, and do not require the same things as people who think they’re going to be healthy and alive forever or something.

        Since the kind of women who would be worth it is a friend as well as a lover, think of it this way: some people don’t feel they need or want friends. I get that. Just don’t diss others who enjoy the company of friends and like having people they can count on, or claim that a true friend doesn’t exist just because you picked some bad ones.

        If your selection criteria for friends is based on how much money they have or what kind of status benefits you’d get from it, you’re going to pick people who aren’t worth befriending. Your bad experiences are irrelevant to people who choose based on quality of companionship, loyalty, and supportiveness.

        When we screw up with a friend and want to get them back, we’re trying to get someone back into our lives who was very valuable to us, not just someone who made us look good to others or massaged our ego.

        Like


      • Men are droppers, women are choosers. Evolutionarily, men have always attempted to drop their sperm in as much women as possible while the women were looking for the powerful man’s seed that will be worth their 9 months. This is why girls are much more likely to believe the “the one” theory – that somewhere there is a perfect men they would with happily ever after.

        Regardless of the fact that this one does not exist, it does not work the same way when you reverse the roles. There is no such thing as a one-woman’s man. This is simply not how we were made to be. This is why monogamous marriage was, is and always will be a feminist institute.

        Like


      • Of course there is no perfect man or woman. There can however, be many one could be happy with for the rest of their lives, and is worth sticking with. It’s not such a hard thing to imagine picking one and sticking with them…for me anyway. My dad rocks. So does my husband.

        Maybe it’s one of those things you have to see to believe. You have to see people who didn’t settle for each other, and are happy together and find freedom rather than (the bad kind of) bondage in one another, living their lives together to really get it.

        By not settling, I don’t mean that there were no tradeoffs. In order to keep a guy who was optimally free thinking, I had to accept that my husband was polyamorous, and that wasn’t going to change just because I’m his bottom bitch. In order to keep a woman who was optimally loyal, able to handle a warrior personality, and unphased by polygyny, he had to accept that she might not be the hottest.

        Before we met each other, we’d already formed out priorities, which is why we fit so well. I think people with different priorities can make equally happy or happy long term relationships if they just know what it is that they want and are realistic about what that will take.

        If a guy is not cut out for long term monogamy that’s cool, but don’t close your eyes to the idea that there may be a woman out there who will be cool with you and worth some real effort to keep in your life. There probably is. There might even be more than one.

        Just if you keep telling yourself nobody is worth it, your standards will remain low, and you’ll keep acting out a self fulfilling prophecy that doesn’t match the broader reality.

        Like


      • “It’s not such a hard thing to imagine picking one and sticking with them…for me anyway”
        >for me anyway

        You have just confirmed my post and theory.

        Like


      • @Octo…read the recent post on the guy who sees the female bartender he used to pine for 10 years later…

        This is all in your head.

        Feelings aren’t facts.

        She’s moved on. You need to do the same if not for yourself then to prove to her she made a mistake by dumping you.

        Pining away for Ms. Right is a great way of rationalizing your inability to get your crap together to move on and get on with your life.

        Join a club, take up classes that other girls will also take: pottery, flower arranging, salsa whatever…just get out and mingle with people.

        Like


      • “Pining away for Ms. Right is a great way of rationalizing your inability to get your crap together to move on and get on with your life.”

        Comment of the month candidate.

        Like


    • Best move: Don’t make one.

      Sounds like she was hoping you would break down when she told you she had a new guy and give her more hand, hence the rage at your unexpected coldness. Should have played it cocky instead of ‘oh well’. Even if you manage to ger her back it won’t be with hand, just forget her and move on. Seriously. And even if she reaches out I’d be wary of her just wanting closure or revenge.

      Like


    • You sound really young. Trust me there are plenty other girls out there for you to enjoy and be with. I think you should move on. I know its tough, but you are already half way there since you have not spoken to her in almost 3 months. Stick it out a little longer (not having any contact with her) as time heals wounds..

      Like


    • Oneitis.

      Dude, it’s over. She’s with another guy and she’s over you. Never throw good money after bad, nor waste time grieving over a dead relationship. The only thing giving you pain is not her departure, but your imagining that she’s coming back.

      Once you put the smile back on your face, you’ll meet another girl, hopefully a better one, and you’ll forget Little Miss Internship.

      Life goes on. Let it.

      Like


      • Yeah, let her go. She wanted that cock. (Call her up and remind her when he dumps her, though.)

        Like


      • Ha, yeah, sure that’ll really burn her good.
        I don’t know how you think that little move would look anything but pathetic.

        There’s no shortage of cocks in the world either, guys – and I doubt ex-girlfriend is going to be missing one for long in any circumstances

        Like


    • Tao of Steve, dude.

      My buddy went through a similar situation. His wife walked out on him, told him
      She wanted nothing from the divorce, that he could have it all she just wanted out. They have no kids and the house they were living in at the time was nearly paid off. He could have banked about 45k, and walked away clean. But, being the uber beta, he hounded her and chased her all over hell and gone to get her back. She drove up one day in a brand new camaro she was going to buy. My buddy asked me, “do you think that car screams ‘single lady’ to you.” I nearly choked. A woman will rarely up and leave a stable relationship unless there is another stone to jump too. Eventually, she came back to him after allmof his begging. It was fucking disgusting to watch. Now, years later, she is an alcoholic who plays world of Warcraft all day when she’s not at work and has REALLY plumped up. She hits 40 this year. She doesn’t cook, clean, or attend social functions with him at all, unless they go to see her parents. He does it all including the grocery shopping. He cleans the bathrooms, kitchen, everything. Is that what you want? If she does come she will most likely punish you for loving her because women are fucked up like that. They don’t give a rats ass about love or commitment for the most part. They operate on fear. Todays Western woman is a lowly excuse for a human much less a mate. Use them to drain your balls and that’s it.

      Like


    • With the passage of that much time, her having found another guy and living in a different city, it’s definitely over. You’re not gonna get her back. Never happens under these circumstances.

      Girls of the same hotness aren’t all the same, but different ones can be better in different ways.

      Having a fling with another girl or several really is the answer.

      Like


      • So you can’t win a girl back in my situation??

        Like


      • Octo, read everything you can on “oneitis”. From what you’ve described you’ve completely fucked this up and she’s walked away.

        Only thing you can do is scrape yourself together and move on too.

        Like


      • In my above situation, I was living in another city, and dating a bunch of other guys for a while when my ex got me back.

        So its possible, but not a good idea, I agree.

        It took a lot of time and gradual effort on his part – like I said, just say you want to keep in touch as friends at first, and so on. Mention other girls you’re dating, life goes on, etc.

        But people break up for a reason, and the world is full of other options.

        My ex had convinced himself I was the only girl for him, and realized he had fucked up the relationship (by being an immature, paranoid, violent alcoholic, etc.) But it actually didn’t help me at all being put on a pedestal by him – because the reality of a relationship is never as good as the ideal in your mind, and no one is as perfect as you may ideally remember them.

        So although I stupidly believed that maybe, since he realized he had really fucked up, his new self-awareness and maturity (HA!!!!) might allow a shot at a really good LTR (he’d mentioned getting married a bunch of times, bought me expensive jewelry, etc.)

        But even if you’re the one who fucked up the relationship, its better to take that wisdom and apply it to a new relationship, instead of trying to salvage a really damaged one from the past.
        Otherwise, it is twice as painful all over again to realize that all the old problems never went away, but just got worse

        Like


    • If you say: – Ok, i don’t know how you knew, but i never has hurt you. she isn’t important for me. I never cheat a woman before.

      Than, you can change the image of a beta for a alpha break up. And, theoricaly, in a future…

      Like


    • she’s your #1 girl, huh?

      your #1 girl is enjoying the taste of her man’s cock that’s been sitting in his slacks all day; it’s probably a little sweaty and has some piss residue. he’s thinking, if not saying out loud, “yeah fuckin’ suck my fat cock, bitch. filthy slut. cunt.”

      then he puts his unwrapped penis in her, she screams, he fills her with his cum. she may have even moved on by now, riding the urban “cock carousel.” if this is the case she’s probably forgotten what your face looks like.

      that’s the reality. your cum has been flushed out by that of possibly two or more guys. it is a teaspoon of sugar in the big bowl of porridge.

      you know what you are in her world now? a guy who possibly has come up in conversation with her new guy once or twice, it’s kind of awkward, she thinks “oh shit i hope i didn’t piss him off” and then she sucks his cock – again – to placate him.

      sorry to have painted that picture, but it’s necessary.

      the only role this slut should play in your life is something to beat off over, along with any other girls you’ve ever fucked – in succession, in the same beat-off session.

      Like


    • Dude, this isn’t even game, this is run-of-the-mill common sense. She has moved on to another boyfriend (or FWB or whatever).

      Imagine someone asking “I got laid off from work…here it is, three months later, and I would like to get my job back. How do I get the company to rehire me?”

      If you realize how absurd that is, you will realize how absurd your question is.

      Like


    • One itis… Been there, done that. After you reach the conclusion that no woman is worth your time and you move on once, it becomes much easier to avoid the pitfalls or get out of them next time. Go get another girl. I don’t care what you feel or what you think. Just turn off your feelings and brain if necessary and trust us – get another one.

      Like


  33. OT, but good read: http://www.kalzumeus.com/2011/07/08/business-psychology/

    Should be titled “How Running A Business Makes You an Alpha Male”

    Like


  34. Go with Gorbs advice.

    But chances are that if you need Gorbs advice, you won’t be able to hear it. I’d put the odds at 1/100 that a man in your position would be able to follow through on it. You’ve got a bit of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, just now, and that is not under your control and it messes up how you view and value things. You won’t be able to hear or implement suggestions about perspective, because your brain wiring won’t boot that software right now.

    But with an act of will, you can fake implementing the advice. Delete her number, don’t email, don’t chat, don’t facbook, and put in the effort at the gym and in being social and hunting for girls. And don’t masturbate – or limit it to about once a week. You need to raise your T or you won’t push yourself past your limits.

    Like


  35. Tao of Steve, dude.

    Like


  36. Game is fun. Seen it in action. Happily married. Three great kids. Oldest is now 18. Got a full ride to a great school. Also all district lineman. Eagle Scout. Strongest kid at his 4a HS. In a LTR with the hottest cheerleader. My 14 yr old is well on his way. Both boys are naturals. Both boys are mentally elite. Our youngest is a daughter. She’ll be a tough nut to crack due to growing up with two alpha brothers.

    Like


  37. @J.S.Mills,

    No offense, but that is TERRIBLE advicem it made me cringe to read it I can’t understand the logic behind supplicating and telling a girl who it’s OVER WITH that you want to treat her like a queen A.K.A. be her doormat. As a man, it just screams to me “I don’t really mean all these apologies, I’m just saying sorry so you’ll have sex with me” Now, if you tell a girl you’re in a relationship with that she is YOUR queen (and you her king), that’s a little different, but once it’s over? They get no love.

    Like


    • Oh, I agree, that line was terrible (and it even seemed kinda painfully corny at the time). All I can say is that as a female, I wanted to believe it, and I did. I wanted to think that someone who had been horrible to me in the past would want to mend his ways and make it up to me.

      I think on some level he did mean the apologies – he wanted to think of himself as a better person than he actually is – but mainly just wanted me to move in so I could be constantly sexually available (plus I’m really easygoing, but a neat-freak who’s always cleaning, I love to cook, etc. – so understandably he was eager to have me around)

      Yea, once its over, usually no point in giving any love – but in terms of getting back an ex, it’ll help.
      But I’m really opposed to that whole “king/queen” paradigm in general – I don’t expect anyone to treat me like royalty, and I would never unconditionally and unquestioningly obey any edict just because it was pronounced by the guy I’m with.

      Like


  38. @Gregor,

    Sounds like you fucked yourself pretty good on this one. From what I gather, she’s fed up with you cheating, feeling like she should revenge fuck some other dude and break up with you, family’s love for you and shared apartment be damned. To top it off, she majorly shit tested you by saying “you’re probably going to sleep with those girls while I’m gone anyway” and you can’t even respond with the usual Alpha response- “Yeah, gotta keep girlfriends 4, 6, and 7 happy (insert cocky smirk and wink here)” and you can’t go Beta with “No Baby, of course not!”. From the sound of things, she’s lost trust in you, and possibly even a little respect since she knows you’ve gone dumpster diving before. My advice would be walk a very fine line between being aloof and interested, maybe a 50/50 ratio instead of 1/3 like usual. Definitely don’t go overboard with the calling/texting/beta behavior, she’ll just get tired of you and dump you when she gets back. Oh, and make sure and have things prepared and in order to move out into your own place when she gets back, just in case…

    Like


  39. this is interesting. i broke up with a girl about a year ago. we haven’t spoken during that time. i went into the bar she tends and wasn’t sure how she’d react. she saw me and gave me a “hi sweetie, what’s new?” well, she’s pregnant now, and her baby daddy is VERY beta. i made mention of a bathroom quickie (an inside joke of ours) and i got the sense it wasn’t OUT of the question. i didn’t escalate past the comment, i’m done with her, but i’m pretty sure she’d have been down if i “told” her to go to the ladies and wait for me.

    Like


  40. on July 9, 2011 at 9:28 am traditional girl

    @Gregor

    I’ve known a few caddish men who never thought they could be or want to be monogamous, eventually conquered enough women to have a certain measure of confidence, then met the right girl and found greater contentment in a monogamous relationship.

    It seems like so many in the community see LTR + girls-on-the-side as the ultimate goal. But I think for most it’s ultimately a drama-filled compromise.

    A monogamous LTR with a spectacular woman frees up the life force for other pursuits. So perhaps let this girl go? Something to consider. (There are, after all, marks to be made in this world other than between a woman’s thighs.)

    In any case, if I were fearful that a man might cheat on me, but also exquisitely sensitive to even a hint of submission on his part, I’d want him to give me healthy and frequent doses of attention, but with the following frame: I don’t own him. I’m his adorable little pet. He owns me.

    Like


  41. @ Herr Runkle

    yeah, you’ve got that right that it was a major shit test, and that I am deprived the alpha response. That’s what I’m trying to figure out: what’s the next best thing that isn’t pure beta, or is pure beta needed in some form at this point?

    @ trad girl

    I think it used to see LTR + girls on the side as the ultimate goal, but I’m not sure it is accomplishable for me at this point, or whether it’s even a misallocation of time resources to maintain the quasi-harem. It’s not like she and I didn’t have sex all the time, and variety has certainly started to wilt a bit.

    Trust is certainly the issue here as is social perception. We operate in the very insular world of academia and proper mate selection is a huge social marker, though at least no one else knows about the infidelity besides us. Thanks for your input on the frame you would want. I think I am in a good mental space to adopt something like that, but I’m not sure how many pieces I still have on the board.

    Like


  42. on July 9, 2011 at 11:34 am Random Dude

    Well, fuck. What’s the odds for the “3 weeks”-strategy to work, really? I know I can manage to not contact her for so long, but I will go down crashing if it doesn’t work after all that time. Sounds beta? Oneitis… I hate it. Can’t stand the thought of my ex being with someone else. Can’t stand the thought of never having her beside me again, touching her ass.

    If anybody got any tips on what I should to in winning her back I would appreciate it, deeply. We’ve been together for half a year or so, our relationship hasn’t been that good during the last couple of weeks (I brought it up, she thought it over, in the end we broke up) and we’re both young.

    Like


    • on July 9, 2011 at 12:55 pm Another Random Dude

      Dude, if you’re young, you’ve got nothing but endless pussy ahead. I’m 45 and I have a 21 year old smokeshow with a rocket body calling me and texting me like I am her fucking soul mate.

      The 3-week strategy will work because she wants you more than you want her. And if she doesn’t…then you’re better off without her. Last thing you want is to end up in a relationship where she has the upper hand.

      Like


    • Random,

      Can I ask what happened or why you broke up in the first place? i think this is key (at least from a woman’s perspective) in trying to determine how to win her back or what she is probably thinking.

      If you’re really young I think it was most likely that you said something hurtful / insulting to her vs. cheating. If so – own up to it. Don’t say why you said what you said or make excuses just own up to it and apologize. Then ask her if you two can move forward. This way you’re not groveling, yet still owning up to your mistake and still letting her know you want her back. It will come off as you being firm and mature and trying to take charge of the situation. And b/c you really like her, it can easily turn to groveling – groveling is never a good thing.

      Also, it depends on what kind of girl she is. Some young girls are very insecure & break-ups are extremely tough on their self esteem. These kinds of girls need reinforcement (please be sincere) while other young attractive girls are very outgoing and know her market value in finding other guys to date. If she falls more into the insecure bucket, making her feel good may be a way to win her back over. Nine time out of ten a fragile or insecure young girl needs constant reinforcement from her guy. Is she this girl? Its ok if she is, just know she’ll need you to lay on thick the positive affirmations about how much you love/like her etc. Once again PLEASE BE SINCERE (which I know you will b/c you said you really like her a lot).

      If she is more outgoing and tends to think highly of herself, then you need to not bullshit her and just be real about your mistakes. She doesn’t need you to make her feel good nor does she need reinforcements – this kind of girl gets constant positive reinforcement daily from friends, family and other guys. What this kind of girl wants is to know you are not trying to play with her intelligence. She will see right through you if you try to lie or make excuses and if she is even halfway attractive and has other guys eyeing her, she’ll brand you a liar and start opening herself up for other guys. IOW’s don’t make the situation worse by playing with her intelligence. Young girls who are not insecure and are attractive, do not like feeling like they are being played or lied to. I was one of those girls. I appreciated more if my boyfriend was straightforward about his screw up than if he tried to bullshit his way back into a relationship with me. Of course its never a gurantee she’ll take you back, but at least you’ll still have your dignity in tact and she’ll respect you for not questioning her intelligence. So if your ex is this girl, I would think being straight up with her, firm, having a take charge I know I screwed up but I will make this right attitude and not laying on thick the positive reinforcements could possibly win her back.

      Like


      • My take on Neecy’s well-intentioned but tragically flawed advice. Why flawed? By its nature, it’s female advice: it tells you what a woman claims or convinces herself she wants, not what makes the subconscious want.

        If so – own up to it. Don’t say why you said what you said or make excuses just own up to it and apologize. Then ask her if you two can move forward. This way you’re not groveling, yet still owning up to your mistake and still letting her know you want her back. It will come off as you being firm and mature and trying to take charge of the situation. And b/c you really like her, it can easily turn to groveling – groveling is never a good thing.

        This is shockingly on point.

        Addenda: Apologize only for specifics. Don’t apologize for her feelings. If she presses you, see to it that you only apologize for the actual action. Not for being you, not for dissing her, not for her emotional state. Just for the action.

        Do NOT ask to “move forward”. That’s implied. No psycho-mumbo jumbo BS. No “Next Stages” or “New Levels” or any kind of analytical crap. But heed Neecy’s anti-groveling words.

        If the girl is very rational, appeal to reason but you have to know that reason won’t be key in her making any decision, so you need to appeal to instinct. Since virtually no girls are very rational outside physics departments, this isn’t an issue, anyway.

        I>Some young girls are very insecure & break-ups are extremely tough on their self esteem. These kinds of girls need reinforcement (please be sincere) while other young attractive girls are very outgoing and know her market value in finding other guys to date. If she falls more into the insecure bucket, making her feel good may be a way to win her back over.

        The very last thing you need to be worried about is her self-esteem. That’s entirely her problem. In fact, it works in your favor if her self-esteem has her wondering about you and if she’s a bit off-balance. This is the ideal state, no matter what chicks say. They of course want total security – at your and your relationship’s expense. That’s a zero-sum game between you: Every bit of convinced self-security she has comes at the same withdrawn from your bank.

        The only time you make her “feel better” is if she feels that you have a much higher value in the sexual marketplace and this rattles her brain. If this is the case, placate to some degree or convince her that there’s some unique thing that clicks her into you that a higher-value woman wouldn’t have: That her SMV to you is higher than other women. That’s the *only* case that you do this.

        Sincerity:
        Sure, this is nice. Bear in mind that most of her emotional talk is going to be a flat-out lie, though she won’t know it. Women are largely unconscious of their own motivations. Another ten years will teach you this, 3 if you’re conscious and look for it.

        If she is more outgoing and tends to think highly of herself, then you need to not bullshit her and just be real about your mistakes.

        This is good advice, but not for the reasons Neecy suggests. It’s just good advice.

        Having to lie to chicks is annoying. Just be straight. Histrionic behavior with you disqualifies a girl from being in your presence. At that point, you need to ditch her anyway.

        A girl thinks highly of herself, then you have to appeal to her on an instinctive level even more.

        She doesn’t need you to make her feel good nor does she need reinforcements – this kind of girl gets constant positive reinforcement daily from friends, family and other guys.

        Add: This is true for all women. Don’t reinforce an already healthy ego. You always want her slightly off-balance.

        What this kind of girl wants is to know you are not trying to play with her intelligence.

        Not intelligence, emotions.

        Look, a lot of PUAs will tell you how to play women, but my personal rule: Don’t bother with lying. Just be straight up and apologize for specific things in a straightforward way. it looks strong and contrite at the same time. You have no idea how well that goes over with almost all women.

        But you need to stop it at that point. The moment you get into her frame – with the mind-games and push-pull of her brain’s rationalization hamster, then you’re cooked.

        Stay in your frame. You apologize – want her back – that’s it. No more deep into her mindset than that.

        She will see right through you if you try to lie or make excuses and if she is even halfway attractive and has other guys eyeing her, she’ll brand you a liar and start opening herself up for other guys.

        Half-right. If she’s written you off already or there’s something you did to make yourself less attractive than other guys, like groveling, you’re cooked. Other guys don’t matter when it comes to you and her. If you have any remaining pull on her attraction levers, this is irrelevant.

        IOW’s don’t make the situation worse by playing with her intelligence. Young girls who are not insecure and are attractive, do not like feeling like they are being played or lied to.

        Unless the male is really cool.

        If she likes you enough, be up front.

        THIS IS THE KEY:

        Let HER rationalize it as much as possible. DO NOT COME UP WITH EXCUSES. YOU let *her* make up stories in her head. Most women do this anyway. You don’t need to supply them. Sniff out what they are after the fact and use that to your advantage, to help stabilize the relationship.

        You just stick to the facts, and your own emotions: Hey, I want to be with you, I feel badly about how I behaved, I won’t do it again, etc. Elaborate without groveling. Try to avoid unreasonable or unrealistic promises: “I Will NEVER EVER LOOK AT ANOTHER GIRL!”. Say she matters to you and you want to be decent.

        *NEVER* try to crawl into her headspace and make your point from there. You will always, always lose.

        I was one of those girls. I appreciated more if my boyfriend was straightforward about his screw up than if he tried to bullshit his way back into a relationship with me.

        This is good.

        Of course its never a gurantee she’ll take you back, but at least you’ll still have your dignity in tact and she’ll respect you for not questioning her intelligence.

        Her respect at that point isn’t relevant if she’s not taking you back. You don’t need to care about that. It may keep you around and then she’ll test you for a while, and might take you back later. But her respect is irrelevant if it gets that far.

        So if your ex is this girl, I would think being straight up with her, firm, having a take charge I know I screwed up but I will make this right attitude and not laying on thick the positive reinforcements could possibly win her back.

        This is, in fact, basically good advice, but you need to come at it from a slightly different, and definitely more self-interested position.

        Beware advice from women. Always check it by another man, a man who isn’t a mangina whiner.

        Even when it’s good, the focus will always be on making the woman happy and secure. While this is often useful, and maybe good, that’s not necessarily true. It’s not necessarily useful for KEEPING HER WITH YOU.

        This is a principal lesson of game.

        Even when they give essentially sound advice, it’s always designed to make a woman happy and secure – and this, by design, strips you of hand.

        When you have hand in the relationship, it generates gina-tingles.

        And no matter what a woman says, those ineffable “Gina tingles” are the je-ne-sais-quoi of “oh, I don’t know what it is, but I like him”. They’re the key to everything.

        It’s not always true, but as a rule, virtually nothing else is relevant. Tingle the gina on a subconscious level and you’re almost always good.

        Don’t – and no amount of psychology, supplication, dedication or consideration will help you.

        When dealing with a woman, remember: she’s not a porcelain statue or Platonic Perfect Form; she’s an animal with instincts. You know this about yourself. She doesn’t know this about herself. By and large, women see themselves as rational actors and in control of their emotions.

        Neither condition obtains.

        You know you’re an animal. Just never forget that she’s operating on the same basic principles: And you want to appeal to her basic instincts and motivations. Everything else her brain does is a permutation on contorted rationalizations she comes to on her own steam.

        Instead of whining about it and getting bitchy about how two-faced this ultimately is, it behooves a man to set things up so that those rationalizations serve him and his relationships – rather than work against him.

        Complaining about the way women work is a profound waste of time. Pointing out how women hide this is fine, especially when educating your fellows. But swallow the red pill, while enjoying a glass of wine:

        Women are the way they are. Adapt to them.

        Let her come up with excuses as to why she’s with you. Know what the reasons she tells herself are, but be smart and realize what the real reasons are. And let her live with her rationalizations. They serve you both.

        PS, if you do get her into bed again, make sure you do it properly and leave her in no doubt as to your status. Nothing says weenie like a guy who fights to get a woman back and then is supplicating in the bedroom.

        Like


      • * Instead of whining about it and getting bitchy about how two-faced this ultimately is, it behooves a man to set things up so that those rationalizations serve him and his relationships – rather than work against him.

        Complaining about the way women work is a profound waste of time. Pointing out how women hide this is fine, especially when educating your fellows. But swallow the red pill, while enjoying a glass of wine:

        Women are the way they are. Adapt to them.*

        Extremely well said. Thank you for this.

        Like


      • on July 9, 2011 at 4:07 pm Another Random Dude

        Please go away fatcy. I am being SINCERE.

        Like


      • Once you get to the stage of where you can correctly spell your name Another Random Dickhead then you can talk to me.

        Like


      • You should probably start your own blog giving dating advice. I’m sure it will be quite successful. All you need to do is woo Oprah away from Gayle

        Like


      • OMG @ your name and post (i love this blog) !! Sted, you’re an attractive man. You can find some attractive woman in your age range. I know you hung around O, to get a slice of that billion dollar empire, but you have gots to move on! She has and will always love Gayle. You can’t come between that honey.

        Like


      • Cam we all agree to ignore the cow, maybe it will go away.

        Like


      • You’re a fascinating personality.

        In a clinical sense, that is. I am writing a discourse on psychopathologies of our modern times and you are such an excellent example. I’d love to include some of your posts verbatim as “points in case”. Do I have your permission?

        I’d love if you stay on this blog for years, so I can track your progress in life. If my theories are correct, you’d be again an excellent case of “how to shape own reality for the worse”. I’d really love to see if it works out for you to achieve your goal, because there is no doubt in my mind that what you seek is a sucky experience, the suckier the better. To each their own, as they say, and good luck in your relational endeavors.

        Like


      • This is why i love Nerds. B/C they say shit and you don’t know what the hell they’re talking about but you know it somehow makes sense. So HOT!

        Like


  43. eHarmony’s two cents…

    “Eight Reasons Women Fall Out of Love,”
    http://advice.eharmony.com/relationships/breaking-up/eight-reasons-women-fall-out-love?cid=2091&aid=0706111

    Half were pretty much such women need to grow the f*ck up… the rest were male not doing the job (2) and should’ve gotten together in the first place (2).

    Like


    • “shouldn’t’ve” (as is “shouldn’t have”) gotten together in the first place, that is. Damn typos.

      Like


  44. To Random and others, please have some dignity. Don’t go digging through your trash. If you screwed up and dumped or orchestrated an unlivable situation with a good woman because you were stupid, then that’s nature telling you that you are too stupid for a good woman…or at least you were at the time.

    The lesson you need to learn from the pain is that sometimes you lose people, and there is no way to get them back.

    Following the OP’s advice will increase your chances, but if it doesn’t work, you have nobody to blame but yourself. Learn to forgive yourself, and try not to make the same mistake again.

    Sometimes the mistake is not really losing the woman, but in getting involved in a serious relationship when that’s not what you really wanted in the first place. You were lying to yourself that you were ready or that this is what you wanted…or you were afraid to be alone, so you got into a relationship as a way to not be involuntarily celibate, and didn’t really care about the girl.

    Now you’re learning game, and you’ll know how to get casual sex if that’s what you want. So really, you don’t need to backtrack. Move forward doing what you want to do instead of just what seems easiest at the time.

    Like


  45. I had oneitis for about 8 years. In fact, I used this blog as a springboard (my eternal gratitude lord roissy) to begin the purging of this person from my life.

    There are plenty of good stories in this comment thread, so I will exclude mine. You can find Roissy’s version of it in the archives. Long story short.

    You can’t get the girl you were fucking back. You can only get some older, more haggard version. Just move on. A life of comfort is a padded coffin six feet under.

    Like


    • This post needs more love.

      You can’t really have it both ways. Security is a trap of illusions. Even if people commit, they can still die or become ill, or age out.

      A really committed relationship that will last for life is one that can last through the stuff real life will throw at people, without either feeling the other is an anchor. Otherwise, you trade your freedom for a security that isn’t. Getting with most women is like moving to a police state because it has a lower (disorganized) crime rate.

      Like


  46. on July 9, 2011 at 3:30 pm traditional girl

    @ Gregor

    As far as a harem vs. a monogamous relationship, I meant to refer to the serious psychological energy taken up by the (usually necessary?) continuing seduction/ hard gaming of those women who aren’t your LTR. (Sex with your girl? Worth the time.)

    I find it really interesting that you’re concerned about mate selection with respect to your circle in academe… Lately this kind of thing has come up again and again in conversations with friends.

    My boyfriend is an (reluctant) academic. Nearly all my friends are academics or wives of academics. For years I thought I wanted to be an academic. (Now I’m happy to be finishing my schooling and preparing to be a homemaker.) In any case I know what you mean about “insular.” The relentless gossip is especially exhausting.

    But proper mate selection is a huge social marker? Really? Similar career trajectories? Does it matter? I’d say about half of the married male faculty (at this ivy) are married to women who only have a bachelor’s and either stay at home or work token part time jobs. And that’s in the feminist-dominated lands of the humanities. In the sciences the fraction exceeds 2/3.

    All I’m saying is that I don’t think it matters too much. As far as I believe, if you kowtow to the dominant ideologies in your department (as all good boys must!) you can marry a stripper. Just don’t bring her to tea.

    Like


  47. Assanova is back:

    http://www.realmademen.com

    Just found that out from a link over at Crime & Federalism.

    Off to see what he he’s talking about these days…

    Like


  48. “to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill.”

    Like


  49. @Random Dude

    Please don’t listen to Neecy’s advice. If you run back to your girl with a laundry list of things you’ve ever done to wrong to her to apologize for each one, when you’ve said your piece, her response will be “oh yeah, and you forgot about the time that you blah blah blah”. Honestly, read the comments in this blog post: http://roissy.wordpress.com/2007/04/10/how-to-win-back-an-ex-girlfriend/
    Roissy guides a guy named andy through all Three weeks, texts and even seeing his ex again.My best personal advice to you though, even though it’s going to hurt would be to next her, start working out consistently, get some new clothes, go to some new bars or parties and just focus on improving your life.

    Like


  50. Excuse my English, I’m a indian men …

    Some I-N-T-E-R-E-S-T-I-N-G questions:

    Behaves as a girl when she finished with a beta and how it behaves when it ended with an Alpha?

    My girlfriend talked to me cold and short on the phone yesterday.

    I understood she was close to terminate our relationship and I disappeared without clarifying our situation. She did not care anymore.

    She thinks I’m a beta and has signaled it has no more interest.

    I think she has another guy and I would not want to go underneath.

    How to improve my image after a Brek up a beta?

    Listen …

    I thought of sending an e-mail simulating

    “Sorry, I do not know how you knew but I never wanted to hurt you. She did not mean nothing for me. I never betrays a woman before.

    Implying that I realized that she was cold because she found that I cheated.

    Do you agree that my image of beta can be improved with an output like this??

    Or will it just make me look more beta?

    Like


  51. Want revenge when it’s her idea to break up? Steal the momentum and keep her from salving her guilt with closure.

    Which is to say, determine early if all is lost and if it is, discontinue all contact and avoid all mention of her to any friends who might leak your pining back through the grapevine. Act as if the Men in Black zapped you with the “flashy thing”.

    It’s a better frame for your inner game and beats being irritating to your friends.

    Like


  52. Like


  53. Like


  54. Hey everyone!! I had a great day/night and I’m back home feeling a lot better than I have past few days (finally over my fever). I got this really HAAAWT wig that’s honey blonde and super big and curly, that I can wear when I wanna switch things up a bit (I’ve never worn a wig but this mofo is amazing – doesn’t even feel or look like a wig). I’m thinking I will call myself “ SASHA” when I don that bad boy. I bought make up brushes, visited my girl and had some red wine, visited grammy in the rehab and did some shopping.
    Anyway, as promised my time here would be short since when you are at home for a few days with a bad fever, bored, tired of TV, you need to be entertained.
    I have been THOROUGHLY entertained and I want to thank you all (yes even all of the dickheads) from the bottom of my recovering fever heart for feeding my boredom while I was sick this week.
    I’m going to return back to the blogs and forums I actually find worthy of my quality time, but you guys will always remain in the back of my mind. You never know when I may pop back in, so ALWAYS be on your best behavior boys!! And if you’re really good I may come back as SASHA 😉
    To my darling ANON who I have a pending mud/chocolate wrestling match with – I’m ready when you are – Holla at your girl!

    Signing out,

    NEEEEEECY!!!!!!

    Like


    • Neecy, congrats.

      I think it’s hilarious some of the guys are trying to practice their elite skillz internet “game” on you, on this blog of all places. Not trying to whiteknight, but it’s really weak attempts… There’s a word for it, tryhard. Ohhhh you’re trying to impress CR and the other men on here? I get it now.

      Like


    • Grammy be in rehab? Some nigger shot her,I bet! J/K Neecy. We love ya and your “fierce” attitude.

      Like


  55. Alpha cat, I think that some expressed feelings are rather sincere, these in the mold of alt.go.away or alt.die.die.die. I don’t see much online game practice here.

    Like


  56. Back to the topic: Winning Back Pissed Off Ex-Girlfriend

    The question is: Why?
    What would be one compelling reason to want to?
    I simply don’t see ONE compelling reason. There can be always another one pissed off GF, no?

    Like


  57. A-W-E-S-O-M-E

    Think with me:

    If you say: – Ok, i don’t know how you knew, but i never has hurt you. she isn’t important for me. I never cheat a woman before.

    Than, you can change the image of a beta for a alpha break up. And, theoricaly, in a future…

    Like


  58. You win her back by becoming extremely good looking and fucking other, better looking women than her. Then you laugh at her, get her hopes up, fuck her and leave for good.

    Become good looking or die trying. Roissy, you know it’s true. You are good looking yourself.

    Like


    • Heh.
      Some ugly truths to this. Truth is, game can only do so much when nature’s been unkind to you.
      All the guy’s I’ve dated have been extremely good-looking. Basically, that’s all they’ve had in common, and I wouldn’t have been with them if I didn’t find them so attractive. All this talk of “alpha” behavior – when so many boyfriends I’ve had are what you guys would call “beta” in every way, – but who cares, they were hot (and self-confident enough to not care if they didn’t behave in a stereotypically alpha way – which made them even hotter and more desirable to me).

      Sure, in terms of a LTR, compatible personalities matter more than looks – but you’ll never find out anyone’s personality without the initial attraction. I would be bored to death married to the hot guys I’ve dated – and I think most men who think they’d be happy with someone based solely on her looks find they need a revolving door of women to prevent such boredom, and with that you miss out on a lot of whats really meaningful and fulfilling in life. Hence the difficult search for someone who you find both extremely attractive and intellectually compatible.

      But life is cruel and unfair to both men and women – it helps A LOT to be born very good looking, and nothing else can ever really make up for lacking that.

      Like


      • “when so many boyfriends I’ve had are what you guys would call “beta” in every way, – but who cares, they were hot (and self-confident enough to not care if they didn’t behave in a stereotypically alpha way – which made them even hotter and more desirable to me).”

        These are also the kinds of guys I’m attracted to. Ones who don’t need to prove anything b/c they already have that something. Not all women are attracted to male ho’s.

        Like


  59. Octo, go with Gorbs advice.

    But chances are that if you need Gorbs advice, you won’t be able to hear it. I’d put the odds at 1/100 that a man in your position would be able to follow through on it. You’ve got a bit of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, just now, and that is not under your control and it messes up how you view and value things. You won’t be able to hear or implement suggestions about perspective, because your brain wiring won’t boot that software right now.

    But with an act of will, you can fake implementing the advice. Delete her number, don’t email, don’t chat, don’t facebook, and put in the effort at the gym and in being social and hunting for girls. And don’t masturbate – or limit it to about once a week. You need to raise your T or you won’t push yourself past your limits.

    Like


  60. Go with Gorbs advice.

    But chances are that if you need Gorbs advice, you won’t be able to hear it. I’d put the odds at 1/100 that a man in your position would be able to follow through on it. You’ve got a bit of OCD, just now, and that is not under your control and it messes up how you view and value things. You won’t be able to hear or implement suggestions about perspective, because your brain wiring won’t boot that software right now.

    But with an act of will, you can fake implementing the advice. Delete her number, don’t email, don’t chat, and put in the effort at the gym and in being social and hunting for girls. And don’t masturbate – or limit it to about once a week. You need to raise your T or you won’t push yourself past your limits.

    Like


  61. on July 10, 2011 at 4:59 pm Dustin Tash

    Anything capable of getting diaharrea is not a princess.

    Like


  62. Not to suggest that my opinion is the be-all and end-all, but… a man is so much more attractive when he knows what he wants and goes for it. So the girl is pissed off and not talking to you, I’m not suggesting that you should smother the girl in calls and texts… but not fighting to get her back (using your knowledge of game or however way you want to) when she is something you want makes you a beta in my eyes- not an alpha male. Can some guy please explain to me what I’m not getting here? How can you just pass that up? Proud women are just going to assume that you leaving means they need to move on. They’ll appear indifferent even when they’re not.

    Like


    • Alpha, by definition, means that the guy has other choices he can turn to.

      “Fighting” for what he wants typically involves a lot of pathetic Beta Bleating instead of his turning to those other choices.

      Since a) finding a hot girl to turn his attentions to and thereby being indifferent to his ex would work three orders of magnitude better than b) chasing after his ex like she’s the best he can get… this is why one should never take advice about what women want from women.

      Like


      • Fair enough, and I agree with everything but it still doesn’t explain my last point. A proud woman is going to move on – she’s not going to sit and wait or be the one who tries to get her ex back even when he turns to his other alternatives (regardless of how she feels about him, which is also why she may appear indifferent). So then you get a situation where two people want each other, pretend like they don’t, and further due to game – they don’t get each other. Then what’s left?

        Like


      • Hopefully, they each find someone with less drama.

        Like


      • time to fina woman with less pride

        Like


  63. Re: Harems

    On a side note, they’re not that cool. It sounds great until you do it. Unless you’re a political animal and love drama, just not worth it.

    You can have sex without the angst and neediness and endless… conversations. Dancing like a chicken on an electric wire for what?

    Ack.

    Like


    • Gorby, it entirely depends what the arrangement is and what you allow. I am not drama friendly and it’s a part of my pre-serail agreement. And given my prompt to yours truly about the need for conciseness, I am clearly not that fond of endless conversations either. You define the horizontal, you define the vertical, either they take it or they don’t.

      Like


      • I’m working on the concision thing. It’s a bitch. This is my waiting for godot entertainment. You can only stare at a computer screen or sit around waiting for people to get their shit together for so long until your brain wanders, and when it wanders it tends to get right the fuck out there. That’s not the best state in which to aspire to conciseness. But I should at least get an E for effort even when I get an F for fucking long.

        Cadnerd, it sounds all very manageable. But if you arrive at a harem by accident, and it’s open – and you’re weak and fall into it because you can, and seems kinda neat and why the hell not – then you have to be superman and run tight game all the time and when it starts you never planned to be conciliating endlessly and be alpha asshole when you’d rather just have a beer and talk about shit. It’s novel for two months. Then not so much.

        The problem with the clothes you buy is that you have to wear them. It’s not as simple to run emotional politics when you don’t engineer the situation yourself.

        And sometimes you just want to take a fucking nap and not bother with any of it. It’s much like the self-eviscerating effect of running around like a randy dog for longer than necessary. Do it too long and it drains your soul when you’re not looking. Most guys want to stop sampling and chow down at some point.

        But one piece of advice: if you split your time between two locales, you have a natural segregation that can serve you. Nerdling movie quote: Don’t cross the streams. It sounds awesome to have it all intertwined. It’s not half as awesome as it seems from reading French novels.

        You don’t want to find yourself in the position of a cook looking for a manual to unbake a cake. Kinda tough to do. Don’t cross the streams.

        Like


      • Gorby, you make it more complicated than it is and I think you tend towards overanalyzing. I run my serail for two years without much of the complications you mention, though you bring some salient points. I have other things to do a the moment, so I’ll take a raincheck on how I do it.

        Like


      • Probably true. When I sit down with nothing to do, I overanalyze. I need to keep busy.

        Your insights, my senior, would be most appreciated.

        Like


    • I’ll agree that you need a high tolerance for drama. Thankfully such tolerance builds up through exposure.

      And I’d like to think such managerial skills and tolerance for tension are useful skill-sets to build into a personality.

      The stress and tension has rewards. It’s not a bad lifestyle at all. I’d say that non-monogamy and serial monogamy are about on par for overall life satisfaction. One leans more towards romance and comfort – at the risk of boredom, the other more towards fun and excitement and sexual variety and adventure – at the risk of stress.

      What I like to do is have alternate long bouts of serial monogamy with non-monogamy. But I’m not a player and never do PUA style pump and dump. Even the one nighters are all about intimacy – and I prefer if the one nighters become just one new member of the family.

      Like


      • ^ xsplat

        Like


      • And I’ll add that for some personality types, you really haven’t lived until you’ve had concurrent girlfriends.

        After my mate died, I told my ex exactly what my plan was. I was going to wait about 6 months before dating again, then I was going to get several girlfriends. I allowed the ex to live with me those 6 months, and the week after finally getting her dragging ass out the door was dating. Within two weeks I had a few girls who’d visited and were interested, and within a few months I had a live in lover, a serious 2nd lover who wanted to marry me, and a ping pong sleepover buddy.

        For those who’ve never lost a serious mate to death, I suggest you don’t do it. But if you do, the soul cure outlined above seems a good one.

        Like


  64. on July 10, 2011 at 10:11 pm Finger's Breath

    It doesn’t quite look like Roissy answered the reader’s question. It sounds like he tried getting his ex back, but nothing good came of it. How else would the reader know she’s not currently on speaking terms with him? In that case, what is he to do if she’s seeing other guys? Let’s assume he’s alpha since he’s a reader.

    Like


    • There’s seeing other guys and then there’s saying she’s seeing other guys.

      Women don’t usually bounce back as quickly as we claim to nowadays. The ones who do are not worth getting back after some other dude has left all his microbes in there.

      I would either treat it like a lie until you see some proof, or pretend like I believed it and this made her tainted. Most of the time, it’s a shit test to see if you’re going to be jealous.

      Like


      • on July 11, 2011 at 6:44 pm Finger's Breath

        She never directly said it. She moved away when she graduated, then I spied an online dating profile she started. That’s how I know. I just seem to figure out if she’s indifferent or angry, so how do you know?

        Like


      • Not speaking to you = angry.

        Hanging out with you and joking about your time together as if it happened 20 years ago = indifferent.

        Like


      • Ah ha! I called her a day after she graduated to be nice and left a voicemail. She never called back, then deleted me from facebook a few weeks ago. It’s clear she doesn’t want me in her life, so will she ever come back by her own accord? I ask out of interest, for the most part, I am dating other people.

        Like


  65. “”A woman’s willingness to tolerate her man’s philandering is directly related to how she judges his conduct in his extra-monogamous pursuits.””

    Perhaps in part.

    I think it has more to do with what choices she thinks she has available to her and the payoff of staying with the guy and the perceived potential loss if she leaves him.
    It certainly helps his cause if her self esteem centers around him and how he makes her feel and the value added to her life from him; be it financial, status, security, emotional or any combination of these.

    My cynical opinion of both men and women is that both will act and behave in whatever way they think they can get away with. Whether they do actually get away with the consequences of their behavior or actions is another story.

    Like


  66. Neecy; I have no doubt that you feel your presence here is tantamount to flashing pearls before swine when in fact quite the opposite is true.

    Find yourself another cause or pursuit.

    I’m sure there are a plethora of feminist blogs for you to add your female perspective and wisdom to.

    Your time and energy is waster here. Nobody here cares and you won’t make an iota of difference.

    If it’s the attention that is getting you off then you are confirming what all the other commentators here have suspected all along and have voiced in blunt terms.

    There comes a point in all internet arguments where you enter the realm of the analogy of running the 100m sprint in the Special Olympics.

    Even if you win; you’re still retarded.

    Like


    • I wish our esteemed host would start blocking most of these female trolls. An occasional attention whore is no problem to scroll past, but they seem to be taking over lately.

      Like


    • Mr. C and whomever else shares your views,

      You are giving yourself waaaay too much credit. You honestly think i came here to change the views on this blog? get real! I don’t care that much about any of you to even ATTEMPT that. If you knew anything about my personality you’d understand that all things fresh and new excite me to the point I can’t control myself. I tend to go in overkill. Then inevitably, I’ll get bored. 30% of what is said here cracks me up, is interesting enough for me to want to stick around. The other 70% of stuff written here, I shrug off and say its their choice to feel that way. it’s a PUBLIC space. Which means anyone at anytime can come in. I’ll stay until i get bored or stay forever. If at any point the mods feel they don’t want me here, they’ll push the abort button. If they do, no biggie life surely goes on.

      YES I have been in overkill with the posts. Possibly quite annoying to many here – but it is what it is. That’s just me, Neecy, no matter where I go. b/c the blog is fresh to me and new it’s a bit fun and exciting in the beginning. I can be a bit of an overload at first. As I get bored or start becoming uninterested in things (which is inevitable with me) I eventually lay off or leave. But I’m *NOT* going to leave b/c people keep saying “your point is irrelevant. No one cares about your opinion. Go away. We hate you. You’re fat. You’re stupid. Shut up. Die.” LOL (did I miss any?).

      Last but not least – I am NOT a femininst. I’m a woman with my own mind who makes calls based on my own values and morals. Therefore, I have no interest in feminist blogs, for many reasons I care not list.

      Thanks for listening and have a wonderful day!

      Like


  67. I love you all but no one says how you can win an ex gf back that Hates you and assholes like me I’m super hard headed and I want to prove everyone wrong lol

    Like


  68. “How do you win back an ex girlfriend when she’s pissed off and not speaking to you?” – Don’t bother, get a different one. There is plenty of cunt out there just dying to be fucked.

    Like


  69. Casanova (the real one – not the one that posts here sometimes) said that the best remedy for getting over a woman is to simply find a prettier and better woman.

    Like


  70. From the column of Dear Abby, the most syndicated advice column in the world.

    “Dear Abby,

    Eight months ago, I became involved with “Ted,” who was separated from his wife, “Erica.” I fell head-over-heels for him, but in the end, he decided to work things out with his wife. When Ted told Erica about me, she said she wanted to meet me. I decided I owed it to her, so we met. Believe it or not, we hit it off. Within a couple of weeks we were friends.

    The problem, of course, is that hanging out with Erica means I also see Ted. I thought I was over him, but recently old feelings have come back and I feel awful thinking about him while being good friends with his wife. I don’t want to give up the friendship with her, but being around him is making me sad. What should I do?”

    Abby recommends for the woman to remove herself from the situation (I agree) but that isn’t the point. Here, this man “Ted” has not one but TWO exes pining for his dick as a result of the SAME conflict. To me this further reinforces what most men here already know. The easiest way to keep a woman’s pussy aching for you is to show her that OTHER women are feeling that same sensation.

    This excerpt is the third one down.
    http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20110710

    Like


  71. How to win back a pissed off girlfriend?

    It allll depends on HOW you pissed her off. The cure depends on the diagnosis.

    Like


  72. on July 11, 2011 at 12:55 pm Rollo Tomassi

    Iron Rule of Tomassi #7

    It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never what you thought it was.

    Even if you could go back to where you were, any relationship you might have with an ex will be colored by all of the issues that led up to the breakup. In other words, you know the end result of those issues. It will always be the 800lbs. gorilla in the room in any future relationship.

    Healthy relationships are founded on genuine mutual desire, not a list of negotiated terms and obligations.

    Like


  73. Speaking with recent experience from the ugly front lines of an attempt to get the ex back, I concur that it’s not worth trying. It is one of those no-win situations.

    You will feel passionately, at different times, about two different approaches to winning her back. One is to ignore her, the other is to talk it all out and somehow prove that you have learned your lessons and become a better guy who deserves another chance. Both approaches are doomed to failure in most cases.

    If the girl was willing to let you go in the first place, beyond that 2 or 3 week period of no contact, she probably doesn’t love you enough to be worth your while. This is the painful truth that hits your ego when you accept it, so most guys would rather not. You probably fall into the camp of “became way too fucking beta during the relationship and triggered the disgust mechanism”.

    I tried complete silence, for up to 2 months at a time, and also heartfelt outpourings of apology-laden sincerity and hope. Both were met with fingers drumming on the table.

    The truth is, if you try the no-contact approach and she does not contact you first, within two or three weeks, you are finished in her eyes. Persona non grata. Give up, save your dignity, and move on. Any girl too proud, or too disinterested, to pursue you during that time just isn’t into you enough to form a strong bond. A girl who respected you would assume you’d be moving on to other women by then, and that thought would eat her up with jealous rage, so she would break down and call you.

    If however, you successfully start gaming and bedding other chicks during the no-contact period, you will probably lose all interest in getting back with your ex. No-win situation, if “win” is defined as getting your ex back.

    If you try and talk it all out with her, you only make yourself more beta and undignified in her eyes, even though you think that your apologies and promises are making you seem like you have integrity and maturity. She will probably be flattered, yet instinctually repulsed, at that action. Even if she did take you back, you would have that tinge of disgust lingering over you like a foul odor. It would doom the reunion within a few short weeks.

    Ultimately you start questioning what it is that you would actually “win” if you got her back. You then realize that it would be like winning the gold medal…in the special olympics. That’s when you are ready to move on.

    Like


  74. Winning an ex back is a bad idea and shows that you as a man are not confident enough to find someone better to replace her.
    True abundance mindset is extremely important, it changes how you view your ex. Then she’ll coming crawling back only if you don’t want her.

    Like


  75. After my GF broke up with me I mentioned that I sort of liked her friend anyway. It was not in a tit for tat context, but more or less a reassurance that I knew of a way to soften the blow. It was all true anyway cause I really would not have minded. It later turned into rage and anger. I eventually was the one to dump her for good. She tried to come back then too. When I no longer wanted her, she was never more in love.

    Like


  76. why dont you blog with your real identity? your scared your mama will find out!!

    Like


  77. Neecy, kindly go fuck yourself.

    Thanks, and have a nice day.

    Like


  78. Off-topic:

    Game is a mentality, not a measurable trait.

    A lot of intelligent guys are skeptical of game because they think it’s just too simple. They say it can’t be true that women can be manipulated by body language and psychological gimmicks. They think that you need fame, money, looks, etc. to back it up.

    Check out this vid:
    http://greginhollywood.com/mark-paul-gosselaar-talks-with-conan-obrien-about-his-nude-scene-on-tnt-series-franklin-bash-51947

    The guy is Zach from Saved by the Bell. Probably THE heart throb for teenage girls of his generation. About 5 min into the vid, Conan asks Zach if he has good game. This is a guy who had every asset in the book, and he admits that he isn’t good with women. As much as the haters will deny it, women respond to swagger. Fame, money and looks only contribute indirectly because those things tend to encourage swagger in men.

    Like


  79. on July 11, 2011 at 7:54 pm Guy who loves old, fat, obnoxious, narcissitic broads

    Yeah, Neecy, you go “girl”! I love seeing your avatar splattered across every thread here like shit hitting a spin-art.

    Like


  80. Troll feeding results in troll growth.

    Like


  81. I have a hard time imagining an instance where it’s a good idea to bring an ex back. The ones I dumped, I did so for a good reason, and the few that dumped me didn’t give me any respect anyway.

    If you’re into empirical experiments with the female mind, it might be a good intellectual exercise, but the path is fraught with danger. You also might learn more than you cared to really know.

    One time, I had been dating a girl for well over a year, and it turned into a long distance relationship when I moved across the country. I wanted to split, but she was having a hard time taking no for an answer, even though I had a serious physical injury that kept me from travelling for some time. She did, however, tell me that she “loved” a new male acquaintance, but just as a friend.

    We strung each other along for months longer, with me eventually dumping her when I had a saner local chick lined up. What was interesting, though, was later one when she was dating the guy that she loved just as a friend, she would skype/aim with me, sans clothes, for my benefit. Sometimes she even instigated it. This was one instance when I learned a great deal about the female psyche. Her boyfriend didn’t know that she was skyping and showing her twat to her ex (me), who was ordering her to bend over so he could get a better view of her ass.

    That reminds me, I’ve had at least one girl that I can recall off the top of my head who jumped straight into an engagement and marriage after she called it off with me. After having a kid and posting all kinds of gushy stuff on facebook, she occasionally drops me a message in reference to certain physical times that we had together. I don’t know if she was going for an ego boost or what, but it bored me so I didn’t respond (she’s still attractive though, as she didn’t put on pregnancy weight except for slightly enlarged boobs, just not as attractive as the younger, husbandless girls that I know).

    These are seemingly sweet girls, too.

    I eventually got tired of her contacting me and basically said, “what’s in it for me?” when she wanted to keep talking, after dropping direct references for sex. That stopped her cold, as intended.

    Once I lose trust in a girl, they are that much more expendable to me.

    Like


  82. Can someone tell me When we’re getting a new topic? How often do the bloggers create new topics? Thanks in advance.

    Like


  83. Roissy bait…

    http://www.katu.com/news/local/125374203.html

    without this blog, none of this would make any sense. STIHIE.

    Like


  84. “I have a hard time imagining an instance where it’s a good idea to bring an ex back. The ones I dumped, I did so for a good reason, and the few that dumped me didn’t give me any respect anyway.”

    Agreed.

    When I met my ex she had a job and was living in her own place in one of the better inner city suburbs. She claimed to own the place but my feeling was that it probably belonged to her parents and they were letting her live there rent free or had put the place in her name for tax purposes etc.

    Within 4 months of meeting her she had quit her low paying job, her credit card was almost maxed out and soon she decided to move back in with her parents.
    All the while she was talking about and shit testing me about wanting to have kids.

    Most chumps would have fallen for it.

    She was approaching her late 30’s though looked damn good for her age.
    5’9′ , curvy but not fat and no cellulite, DD titts, great legs and a nice ass.

    It was a difficult decision to make but at 6 months, I dumped her.
    No matter how hot the chick is, when she becomes more a liability than an asset to you and your life and can potentially mess your shit up by ooops’ing pregnancy; you have to make the tough decision and cut them loose.

    Like


    • Late 30s, wanting kids, and moving back with her parents? Jesus, that’s a trainwreck.

      That sounds a lot like someone I met. She was engaged to someone her age, already had 3 kids, but had somehow kept a bangin’ body. She was out on her birthday with her female friends (whom I happen to know, and who are 10 years younger than her), and I had just started studying game. She immediately brought up how she was engaged but her fiancé was a douche that had broken into her phone, gone through her messages, read her facebook account, the works.

      For science, I decided to game her (I was over 10 years younger than her, so obviously no long term interest). At one point, she was getting sloppy and decided to push me on my nipples, hard, after we had come back to the table from dancing (lame club style, but I lead it because that’s how I roll). I told her, something like “you can’t do that to me and not expect that right back” and pushed her straight back on her nipples. She was stunned.

      5 minutes later she asked me to dance again, the night goes on and we all crash at the girls’ pad, and I share a futon with her. I keep escalating until I hear a no.

      A month or so later I run into one of her friends, and she got pissed off at me, saying something about not trying to fuck her friends at her place. I blew her off, giving her the cold shoulder for awhile. Now that friend is asking where I am and being sweet again.

      Minimum effort, ++

      (Having some problem commenting for some reason…)

      Like


  85. Thank you, Sexual Revolution…

    Scientists find incurable, drug-resistant strain of Gonorrhea:
    http://news.yahoo.com/scientists-first-superbug-strain-gonorrhea-070014377.html

    Just like they used to warn us about in the service, only real.

    Like


  86. if you acted beta to many times then it is time to polish your Game again. roissy is right. she already have forgotten you by then. unless she sees you again with a hottie holding you like someone is going to steal you from her.

    Like


  87. More on the Rebecca Watson flap – the atheist feminist who’s been complaining all over the Internet that a geek asked her to come to his room while they were riding the elevator:

    http://thedamnedoldeman.com/?p=4391

    It’s surprising that there hasn’t been a post here about it. Roissy would be expected to write the definitive post.

    Like


    • Wrong. She has not been “complaining all over the internet” at all. She mentioned it in passing as a dumb and misguided pick-up attempt. Its the men (Dawkins, etc) who for some reason are making a huge deal out of this. Some extremely stupid, irrational behavior from a bunch of men whom I’d hoped to expect more from

      Like


      • Dawkins just, correctly, pointed out on the Discovery blog’s comment section that the elevator guy had done nothing wrong.

        She’d posted more than once including a video on the incident.

        But you’re right that a lot of manginas wrote about her experience on their blogs while saying “we men just need to evolve”. Phil Plait, of Bad Astronomy fame, was the biggest mangina.

        Like


      • Of course Phil turned mangina on this. He pushes his books on the SGU. He profits from that little lovefest. The SGU team rolls over as usual and invites Dawkins to answer the charges from the queen herself. That way Steve and the minions don’t have to directly deal with it.

        Like


  88. women trolls are making the forum a dull place for intellectual discourse

    Like


  89. on July 12, 2011 at 11:44 am John Norman Howard

    Feh, the negritude is strong on this site… where’s Dr. Firepower with the much-needed antidote?

    Like


  90. on July 12, 2011 at 1:43 pm Random Dude

    Thanks for all the advice. I will do the 3 weeks thing, trying to move on at the same time, and if it doesn’t work – I will move on for good. By the way: we are a part of the same social circle – during the last week I have been obviously been hanging out with another gang – and I’m not really sure how to handle that in the future. She also said that if just being friends don’t “feel right” (heh) we should try again. But, based on this blog, I’m guessing that is she unconsciously lying?

    I’ve read trough the How to Tin Back an Ex-Girlfriend-thread. Not sure if it can help me. She hasn’t contacted me at all. One and a half week has gone by since the breakup.

    Some extra info: this is her first real relationship. I was the one who said our relationship isn’t great anymore and brought up the idea of splitting up, but quickly added that it’s not what I want. She didn’t know, thought it over the next night and day and then she knew.

    Like


    • You sound pretty young, so that likely means sex is more important to you than almost anything else, except food and water. Accordingly, find a new woman, and you will quit this pining. Keeping yourself sexed with a new gal will make her all but unimportant to you.

      “She also said that if just being friends don’t “feel right” (heh) we should try again.”

      If you find yourself in conversation with her (avoid that, BTW), and she is trying to DTR (define the relationship) you, for Christ’s sake, blandly but immediately change the topic to some new band you are into or discuss some wild time you recently had (without her), then leave. (Her: Do you think we could be good friends, or more if we need to be…?” You: “Oh, I forgot to mention, had a great time at Jack’s cabin. Those guys are wild. I should tell you about it sometime. Look, there’s Sally–I need to speak with her a sec. Catch you later.”)

      Don’t be drawn into gawd-awful conversations where women expect you to discuss a relationship that ended. She is picking through the emotional scrapbook, hoping for some ego-boosting commitment from you. She wants to know you desperately luuuuuuv her–i.e., you are a safety net if the alpha she wants doesn’t stick around after he gets done with her.

      My guess is she has her eye on some guy, but is trying to determine if she can make the transition to his orbit. You are the back up.

      Like


    • on July 12, 2011 at 4:24 pm Wrecked 'Em

      Random Dude… read the archives of this blog. If you have any capacity to think logically, by the end of it you should be able to tell why Passingby’s advice will (contrary to your pre-enlightenment expectations) work wonders and why neeecy’s advice will (contrary to your pre-enlightenment expectations) confirm your beta-tude with your ex and reduce her desire to ever sleep with you again to way less than zero.

      If you are still — against all judgement and reason — interested in this girl, the only workable frame to let her re-enter your life is a sudden realization on her part that you are a prize for her to win back. You do this by demonstrating that other women find you to be worth their time, not by sucking up to your ex. If you let her put you on hold and she comes back because she couldn’t find something better, she’ll continue looking (already the natural mode of all females, which varies only by degree) and she’ll be gone as soon as she can find something better.

      Like


  91. “She also said that if just being friends don’t “feel right” (heh) we should try again. But, based on this blog, I’m guessing that is she unconsciously lying?”

    Well I have a younger brother and this is what I would tell him in the same situation.
    It sounds like she is leaving the door open for herself in case the “testing of waters” she now has the freedom to do doesn’t work. Basically if she meets some other guy she likes, then she can still play the “well I said let’s be friends” card. But then if she doesn’t, she can always fall back on the fact that she left the door open for you to get back together. I used to ALWAYS do stuff like that. Basically, I think since its her first serious relationship that she may want to “test” her Market Value out there with other guys. If it doesn’t work, then maybe she will say “ok we can get back together”. I can’t really say that’s true for her, but that’s my take on it. Its kinda like testing the waters and then when finding out its not safe running back to the shore. I did it quite a bit and always made sure I left the door open for MYSELF. LOL She’s leaving the door open for herself to go either way. If she catches some other fish out in the water, & you approach her about getting back together then she can say “I said we can still be friends”. But if that fish never comes she can always say “ok I think the friend thing isn’t working, we’d work out better as bf/gf” again.

    I’m telling you like I would tell a son or younger brother. Just look out for yourself and don’t allow yourself to be dragged along hoping for more when it could go either way based on what she is trying to get for herself. Make the call in 3 weeks as you stated. If she can’t give you a definitive “yes/no” answer – move on. I wouldn’t make any further attempts and I would tell her that you two should just settle on being friends.

    Like


  92. Maybe it’s not always worth “winning” them back:

    http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/07/12/ca-woman-cuts-off-husbands-penis/

    Like


  93. It’s the Neecy show.

    She has a lot to say.

    She needs her own blog.

    Like


    • You know what the crazy thing is? I want a blog so bad but my writing is not blog worthy (we all can’t write as cleverly as Roissy). Yes I have A LOT to say about A LOT. If I started a blog would you come and join it?

      Like


      • Just start it. 99% of what is out there is just typing. Just do it. You have too much to say for someone leaving comments here and you cannot help getting off topic and annoying the regulars. If you have good stuff to say it will catch on. If not, at least you have your own place to kvetch.

        Like


      • I think I just might. And I’m going to piss a lot of people off when I do.

        Like


      • Anyone with as much to say as you either needs her own blog, or a therapist to pay $140 per hour!

        Like


      • There is a PUA web site called Delusion Damage which just ran two articles all about starting your own blog.

        http://delusiondamage.com/

        Blogging 101 is the name of the article.

        Like


      • Thanks. i’m so pissed off right now. i hate women who are always looking to start a bunch of unecessary drama on certain blogs. UGH!

        Like


      • Yes. Pissed off female drama is sooooooooo tedious.

        Changing the subject entirely, do you like to be spanked?

        Like


  94. Rory McIlroy. The story is all over the Internet.

    Like


  95. “You know what the crazy thing is? I want a blog so bad but my writing is not blog worthy (we all can’t write as cleverly as Roissy). Yes I have A LOT to say about A LOT. If I started a blog would you come and join it?”

    Neecy, you can start off with some paper and crayons and the chick-mag reading ladieez will flock to your pearls of female wisdom like flies to a turd on a hot summers day.

    Your efforts here are an embarassment to your gender.

    Like


  96. “Mother of God, do you need to be penetrated!”

    Yes; with a harpoon.

    Like


  97. Or, alternatively…

    Like


  98. Why would any man want to “win back” any woman he’s fucked a few times and who isn’t the mother of his children? Seriously. Go plow new turf.

    Like


  99. Indeed. Seriously, why in fuck all would you want to win back an ex? There’s no pussy in the world worth that, and if there is, you don’t want none of it, because it’ll suck you dry and leave you a corpse at the end.

    An ex is an ex for a reason. Go fuck another girl, there’s a few billion of them out there, and there’s always one younger, hotter, and tighter than some girl who’s not smart enough to keep her instincts in check and you satisfied…which is sadly 99.997% of them.

    Like


  100. I agree. You simply should not be in the position where you have to win her back. You should be in the position where you have kicked her out and she is whining to come back.

    The whole game of her storming off and then you having to “win her back” is just one giant shit test and if you try and win her back, you are in the shit.

    If she doesn’t come back on her own accord then she has probably done you a favour by removing herself from your life.

    No matter how much it may “hurt” you initially, chances are if you get her back she will fuck you over even worse in the long term.
    Learn from the experience and move on.

    Get out and stay out. Bitch.

    Like


  101. I am so damn mad right now! I now know what has drawn me to this site. i don’t have to deal with a bunch of high school acting bitchy drama queens always looking to start drama where there is none needed.

    I’d rather be in a blog filled with angry ass men then a forum filled with a bunch of high school acting drama biatches always looking to pick fights with ONE particular person!

    Like


    • So are you saying women like to gang up on a sole victim? I have a book called “Tripping the Prom Queen” by Susan Shapiro Barash, all about female rivalry.

      Wow. Are women nasty to each other!

      Like


      • ABSOLLLUTELY! I have experienced it alll my life. That’s why I have a tough personality. I had no choice but to learn to stand up for myself bc/ of stupid silly chicks. I was literally physically ganged up on and BEAT up by 7 ghetto bitches from high school simply b/c they ‘didn’t like me”. Then you go on forums and its the same shit different day. A bunch of silly ass women looking for a way to turn nothing into a big dramafest to feed thier need for drama. its really fking sad the depths some bitchy women will go to, to create drama with someone where there is none needed.

        when they can’t use wat you actually said they turn to strawman arguments as a way to create a fight. it really pisses me off.

        Like


      • just imagine what it’s like living with them for a decade and trying to keep the peace. that’s what it’s like for a man in a LTR.

        Like


  102. Pissed-off aroused, yes; pissed-off disgusted, you’re better off moving-on.

    Like


  103. “I was literally physically ganged up on and BEAT up by 7 ghetto bitches from high school simply b/c they ‘didn’t like me”. ”

    Damn ! ….. I would have paid good money to get a front row seat to that.

    Like


  104. ive been reading this blog for last 2 years and have seen my share of annoyances in here. but this one, this woman, has got to be the most annoying of them all.

    im gonna read about quadratic equations, amino acid sequences, angular momentum and venture capital business for awhile where someone like her is sure not to be there. somebody poke me when this comment board is sane again.

    Like


  105. Alright. I’ll give you guys a break…until the next topic. I’m getting bored, need some online poker and wanna cut some people right now.

    Like


  106. on July 13, 2011 at 1:28 am Master Dogen

    Every time I see 253 comments on a Roissy post and begin to thing that game saturation will become a serious problem, I happen upon something like this

    http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/30-days-to-a-better-husband-2505408/

    about a guy who responded to his wife’s exhortation to “grow up” by bringing her flowers every day and stopping being aggressive with her sexually. The article has 525 comments, many from manginas praising this guy.

    And then I remember I have nothing to worry about. Thanks, manginas, for staying true to your principles!

    Like


  107. Zorro,

    I’m otta here, But thanks for your kindness and generousity and FUN! I believe I have worn out my welcome (lol). I am going to read some of the books you mentioned here and on other thread.

    Possibly start my own blog as well. If you have an email addy please post it so I can email you offline.

    *kisses* Ciao babe!

    Like


  108. Ok, so this means I can finish mentally slapping her now?

    Like


  109. 40!

    Like


  110. I think it’s good to have a little (or not so little) cunt in here every once in a while. It’s the harsh tang of reality. Neecy, Linda, Petra, Miyaki — when you come right down to the serious stink of cunt it’s happily all the same.

    Cunt is comedy. You bawl coming out of it and you whine trying to get back in. Cunt it’s what’s for breakfast lunch and dinner.

    Enjoy.

    Like


  111. random dude,

    good advice from the men about what to do – heed it.

    my own rule of thumb about friendship after a breakup is, i don’t do it. a waste of time and there is no benefit to it. the only exception is if the breakup wasn’t bad and she is willing to introduce me to other hot friends (i.e. fresh pussy).

    never bring up the topic of staying friends, and if she brings it up, treat it like any other shit test. easiest thing to do is to ignore it like she never mentioned it.

    note that a ‘no friends’ policy doesn’t actually preclude the possibility of ex sex.

    Like


  112. I have a question – After a breakup, how do you know when a woman is angry and when she’s indifferent? What signs does she show and what kind of things does she say?

    Like


  113. on July 14, 2011 at 2:12 pm Beer Monkey

    Went through a weird spell where multiple hot female friends went back to groveling exes. I thought the world had turned upside down.

    Then one by one, they all broke up. Then it occurred to me, throughout my entire life, every time a friend went back to a pleading, begging ex, the reunion NEVER lasted.

    Like


  114. on July 21, 2011 at 6:13 pm Random Dude

    Soon three weeks will have gone by. Should I just text here? Seems weird. I miss her, but am thinking about blowing it off.

    Like


  115. I am ignoring the guy who just did a pre-commitment freak out on me with the cliche ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ and the ‘I’m just not ready for a committed relationship’ crap. I said ‘fine, thanks for letting me know, it’s better to cut our losses sooner rather than later.’ He looked quite stunned.

    How disconcerting for him. I’ve been ignoring him for a week now. Not easy. But soldiering on.

    Bring on the stalement. Two can play this game.

    Like


  116. New idea… don’t contact her. Focus on other girls, when possible. I’m hanging out with other people these days, but sometime I’m going to meet both her and the old gang. If her feelings have returned by then, we will get back together. If not – who cares? Contacting her now is not gonna get us back together, so I don’t see the point.

    Yes, I miss her now. A lot. But that will go away. And the odds of us getting back together doesn’t really increase if I send out a random text now.

    If anyone got any last advice, I would like to her it. Doesn’t matter if it’s about what I should do or what I should say if I contact her or whatever.

    Like


    • on July 23, 2011 at 11:20 am Finger's Breath

      1. Reread Gobachev’s advice to you above.
      2. Recognize that she’s still thinking about you since you were together for so long. When you do make the call, she’s going to unleash her emotions on you. This is good, but you can generally ignore most of the bullshit she throws at you.
      3. DO NOT get emotional. You must absolutely remain CALM and RELAXED.

      Here’s my story. I did this with my ex. She told me her grievances and I cried while speaking to her in the phone. I know she wanted to get back together because she kept changing the course of conversation in a positive light (current events, etc) and because she said things like, “If we get back together this” or “If we get back together that.” If she wants it, she’ll try to move forward in this kind of fashion. GO WITH IT. I was in such a “Please take me back” mode, I overlooked these signals with my ex. I cried my eyes out and five months later she still hates me. I miss her like everyday and still get upset over it. She has another bf now.

      Like


  117. on July 23, 2011 at 1:57 pm Random Dude

    Thanks. I’ll try. Calm and relaxed is not my default mode, but I can pull it off. Still feels like it’s going to be a strange call, though.

    Like


    • on July 24, 2011 at 10:10 am Finger's Breath

      If she doesn’t let her emotions out, then she’s probably become indifferent. Tell us your story when it’s done.

      Like