A Test Of Your Game

The Pacific sun glared off the sand, nearly blinding me. A shuffle at the small table adjacent grabbed my attention. A slim brunette had sat down and was reading a woman’s magazine, Self I think, or maybe Glamour. She reclined a bit in her chair, allowing the sun’s rays to hit her stomach more directly. She hadn’t bothered to wrap a mini-sarong around her bikini bottom; the stretchy material pulled away in spots from her waist, leaving a narrow gap between bikini and skin, like a portal to her nethers. It tempted an incipient chub.

I returned to my lemon-doused water, keeping my peripheral vision loosely focused on her. Five minutes passed and not once did she glance over. This is going to be a very cold open, I thought to myself.


She looked over, finally. “Hey.”

“The article in there…”, I waved my finger at her magazine, “about finding your man’s hot zones… total bullshit.” (Ugh. I cringed after saying it, but it was the first thing that jumped to mind.)

“You mean this?” She held up the mag. “Really. I don’t see that article anywhere in here.”

“Oh, must’ve been last month’s edition.” I paused. “I read a lot of women’s mags.”

“That’s… weird.” She’s turned her torso to me now, and I can see that she’s given me a minute to make my pitch.

“Maybe. But you’re not going to get expert skin care tips in Sports Illustrated.”

She scrunched her mouth at the corners. “Why would you need that? Sounds a little girly for a man.”

“It’s a new age we live in. Men have to look good for their female bosses. Now I know what you ladies feel like, to be treated like a piece of meat.” I kept a straight face saying this, and avoided defensively reacting to her edgy shit test. I wanted her to wonder right up to the last microsecond whether I’m joking or not.

She pressed her legs a little closer together. I took this as a good sign, because a girl in a bikini would start to feel somewhat exposed when talking to a man who is piquing her interest. Nonetheless, it required all my willpower to keep my eyes on her face and not wandering down over the rolling meadows and velvet gullies of her body.

She smiled for the first time. “Ha, I bet you do. So… is this supposed to be some kind of come on? Because, you know, I don’t normally talk to strangers at…

“Hold it! Did you see that? Shark fin. There’s a shark swimming out there.”

“I don’t see anything.”

“You might want to put on your prescription sunglasses. It’s pretty far out there.”

“I don’t wear prescription. Perfect 20/20 vision.”

“Oh, you looked like the bookish type who wears coke bottle glasses in the library.”

She shrugged her shoulders and cocked her head. “That’s the first time anyone thought that about me.”

“People aren’t very perceptive, in general.”

I’ve begun to feel that the time had come to start delving into more personal topics when one of her friends, a short black-haired pale girl, waltzed up and inserted herself between me and Magazinegirl. She looked at me briefly, to which I returned a nod in her direction, then hugged her friend and addressed her.

“Heeey, darlin’! We’re going to a late dinner at 9, and Debbie’s driving. You can leave your stuff at my place, but don’t use the shower upstairs. It’s cold water only.”

I sipped my drink and gazed at the middle-distance.

“Ok, I’ll be there around 8:30. Don’t wait up if I’m late.”

“Ok.” As she trotted off, she calls back, “Don’t forget to say hi to David for me!”

The dreaded pickup interruptus. The momentum lost by an inadvertent cockblock and a reference to a possible boyfriend, I pondered whether it was worth reengaging. Maggirl had begun collecting her stuff and shoving it into a gargantuan canvas bag. She glanced sidelong at me for a second, full of sass and flourish, signifying everything.

She smiled, or maybe smirked. “Well, I’ve gotta go. It was nice talking about invisible sharks with you.”


Now is the time to test your game. In this real life scenario, had you been me, what would you have done at this point? Winner gets my glorious recognition, plus two tickets to the movie Snow Flower and the Secret Fan. I will post an update describing how this pickup attempt resolved itself.


  1. FIRST!!!!! :))))


    • You’ve already bantered. Time to cut to the chase and make a pitch to go somewhere, do something.


  2. Shit i almost got heart attack, i though you went down :))


  3. “The Pacific sun glared off the sand”

    Being that you are on The Wessyde, spark up a Chronic jay and say:

    “Stick around for a while, you don’t want to miss the sunset. It is going to be a “green flash”.

    To which she will respond:

    “What is a “green flash?”

    Maneuver as usual from there. Final destination: your bedroom.

    Poor David.

    – MPM


    • That would require finding a girl who hasn’t seen Pirates of the Carribbean 3, which seems difficult.


  4. Hmm, another test, but IIRC there still an ungraded test hanging over all our heads.
    Jeebus, this one? Quick DHV!


  5. on July 28, 2011 at 4:27 pm DiamondEyes

    “Does David know you try to pick up strange men at the beach?”

    whatever she says, cut her off with –

    “Your friend is kind of cute.”


    • david probably isn’t a serious boyfriend, if a boyfriend at all – he’s not going to be at dinner. And she doesn’t live with the guy in any event, since she’s going to be using the other chick’s shower, so the reference to say hi to David probly wasn’t to “say hi” to a guy she lived with but rather some guy she was gonna happen to see between then and 8:30, and not even have dinner with.

      My guess is David is her dog or cat. No inquiry about David should be made. If she’s gonna meet u, she’s gonna meet u (see my post below)

      And if she’s says she can’t, ask for the digits.


      • I thought the same way at first, but there isn’t much else there in the scenario to grab onto.

        Of course I pictured it being said with a very wry grin that says “I’m just fucking with you”. You certainly don’t want to convey any worry about David.

        Another embellishment that would be nice is to call him “Davey”, or “Dave” instead of David.


    • Yeah, friend is single or else her BF would be driving, not Debbie.

      “Your friend is kinda cute, I’d like to meet her.”


    • LOL. Brilliant. I don’t even care who says what hereinafter.


  6. on July 28, 2011 at 4:28 pm Miley Cyrax

    Hesitate like a deer in the headlights, until the sight of her walking away spurs you into action. Yell “wait!,” while getting up to chase after her, before tripping over your beach chair and falling on your face.

    She turns around.

    Trying to DHV as you pick yourself up (flexing the triceps as you push yourself off the ground), you sheepishly ask “has anyone told you that you have a C-shaped smile?”


  7. “How long have you and her been dating?”, completely straight faced.

    Assuming she’s not actually dating that girl, she’ll probably start qualifying. If she is dating that girl, you can ask if they’ve ever shared a man.


  8. Flirt with the pale girl, says I. Make magazine girl, who probably already thinks she’s the shit, wonder if you might actually like her friend better. Plus y’know, if you’re in with her group, it’s less awkward to try to get her to peel away.


  9. A classic close I learned from this blog:

    Double middle finger in the face of all. Stunner. Stunner. Stunner.

    Walk away to the sound of breaking glass.

    Bonus: and whistling the “Battle Hymm of the Republic.”

    Double Bonus: steal her wallet. spend her money at the strip club.


  10. on July 28, 2011 at 4:46 pm Jack Dublin

    “Your vision is worse than I thought.”
    “just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean invisible sharks ain’t out to devour me whole.


  11. dinner’s at 9:00? no? dont tell me it takes you that long to get ready..

    I was going to have a drink at Blue Marlin..wanna tag along..

    though I’d have to call a porter to help you with your suitcase.. as I dont think I could be seen in public carrying that? ..ect ect


  12. Tell her to STFU. Give her your room # and say you better be there at 9:00. And bring the movies.


  13. Oh my god I had a fucking heart attack.


  14. man: “Just because you can’t see them doesn’ t mean sharks are invisible.

    I’m an expert shark spotter. You should take one of my classes. You know, forewarned is forearmed and all that.”

    Her, likely: “I’ll bet you have a class starting soon. How do you get skills like that?”

    Man: “Special training school. Best time to spot sharks is early evening. The sun sets and you can see them in profile.”

    She’ll balk or take the bait. Hopefully you’ll see her again. You have easy and humorous openers now. If she’s with others, you have a private joke/secret you can use.

    If she takes the bait, go for an immediate date right now. A casual stroll to the waterside/ walk in the water is best. Get her into the water, you can protect her from sharks. Make up some half-serious mush about sharks, and then slip in some sarcastic reference to people or a person. A double-edged putdown of a hottie lying on the beach or engaging in typical female behavior is good, making sure there’s a slight chance it could zing back to her in the back of her mind. Going after visible character traits and insinuating predatory amorality or vanity in other women is always ripe. Never direct it at Magazine Girl. You can also imply that X man is a shark. “That’s a shark in human skin. See the way he moves. Dangerous.”

    Utterly ignore any reference to a boyfriend. It’s of no interest at all. If she mentions it, take it in stride as if it’s interesting in a “oh, other people exist” way.

    Chances are this is going to blow out, due to circumstances or outside factors or previous plans. You both know it, but the trick is to keep the fish dangling – right – on – the – edge – of – the – hook – and don’t go for the quick jab to sink the hook until the fish has completely swallowed the bait.

    Always leave the door open.


  15. hahaha The G Manifesto… That green flash used to be magic when I used it years before it came out on that Pirates movie I just saw. What’s a suitable replacement for it?


  16. Thankfully someone knew where you’d gone to. I nearly shat a brick a few moments ago.


  17. As the perceptive charmer different from the rest of the pack, I can smell the moisture tingling her ‘gina. She *wants* to be late; she *wants* to dismiss David; and she *wants* to showcase her sass (and ass).

    Response: eradicate that sense of urgency, prolong her stay at the beach, keep teasing, get her to jump in the water, and take the rest from there.

    Me: “So you came to the beach to read a magazine? Come on… you’re more fun than that.”

    Magazine girl: “No, I was tanning too. But I gotta go now.”

    Me: “Yeah, I noticed the tan lines. Seriously, what’s the urgency for? Beautiful day, beautiful sand, beautiful sharks.”

    M-G: “I gotta get ready for that dinner.”

    Me: “Do you also have trouble telling time? You have hours before dinner. Come on. Do you know how to swim?”

    M-G: “Yes.”

    Me: “I don’t believe you. Show me.”

    M-G: “…..”

    **More witty banter to expunge that urge to leave**

    Me: “I’m jumping in. Tag along.”

    **I grab her gently by the hand and pull her into the water**


    • I like this because it seems like you’re going for the same day lay, by keeping her around and moving to another spot (the water). That said, I feel like this would work better at night, after she’s already out, maybe at a bar on the beach. The thing that sucks about day game is it’s a lot harder to isolate (without coming off as creepy or pushy) due to the fact that the girl may just have a legitimate excuse for leaving. other than timing, this is solid.


  18. “Well, I’ve gotta go. It was nice talking about invisible sharks with you.”

    This is a shit test. Agree & amplify, and get her contact info with a single retort, with a simple, efficient phrase:

    “Yeah, we should do it again sometime, over drinks.”


  19. “Wait a minute, I’ve got some important information for you….. there are sharks out there…. and some of them will steal your heart…” penetrating stare……… “say hi to David for me.”


  20. If she’s a 10, find out where the dinner is and arrive at the physical location. At that point, ask the group if they’re into CFNM and start stripping regardless of the answer. Their clothes will be on the ground in no time. Throw a few bucks at them and offer to top up their phones for future contact.


  21. “You’re visiting your friend?”

    her: “yea”

    “So where are you from?”

    Then find out logistics and try to move her somewhere else. You can also make conversation based on where she is from.

    You know she’s open to being gamed by her response of “Don’t wait for me if I’ not there by 8:30.”


  22. ‘seriously tho!!! ur pussy roxx!!’


  23. on July 28, 2011 at 5:53 pm TremendousHeh

    What do you want to bet your friend doesn’t want you to use the upstairs bathroom because she dropped a nasty duece up in there?


  24. @itsme

    great call back. well played.


  25. I don’t think you know what a shark looks like.


  26. Grades so far, in order of appearance:

    G Manifesto – 5
    DiamondEyes – 9
    E – 7
    Gorbachev – 6
    Marx – 6
    Anonymous – 5
    Jesus_Lizard – 6
    samseau – 3

    itsme – commendation for special merit
    Miley Cyrax and Southern Man – last place (tie)


  27. She’s almost out of reach, so I’d say it’s all or nothing. I generally don’t do overly goofy conversations, so this is what I’d have done. I’m interested to see how it racks up with the Chateau.

    “Well, I’ve gotta go. It was nice talking about invisible sharks with you.”
    ” Not something you do every day, is it?”
    ” No…” (small smile) [She can hardly say “Yes” to this]
    ” Let’s go watch real sharks sometime”
    ” Erm…sure” [or more enthusiastic, depending upon how attracted she is]
    (hold out phone) “I’ll give you a call some time”


  28. Fuck the bitches and go skydiving. Thats what I would’ve done in that situation if I were you.


  29. Don’t know about, what would i done after …,

    but just:

    “You can write me your number here …” will be enough for the start


  30. I sort of thought you could be my chum.


  31. tactical nuclear option

    ‘nice talking about invisible sharks with you’
    ‘you can tell your friends tomorrow that you missed dinner cos you were shark watching all night’
    ‘what do you mean?’
    ‘i’ve got a telescope at my place………and hot water.’


  32. heartsie’s fucking with all of us.



  33. this is when you go Bill Murray on them


  34. on July 28, 2011 at 6:32 pm Obstinance Works

    I would have just said something simple like: “Oh that’s nothing. If you love hearing me talk about invisible sharks so much, imagine how much you’ll enjoy the real thing. Give me you’re number quick before the shark comes back.”


  35. “so a blowjob in the parking lot is out of the question?”


  36. I like Ancalgon’s one! Probably it’s the time to attempt a close, although with that little attraction so far, it is likely to fail.

    However, “itsme
    ‘seriously tho!!! ur pussy roxx!!’”
    WINS the thread


  37. “Well hold it now, I’ve got all kinds of dangerous animals to show you… not all of them invisible…”


  38. Just kidding. She’s too dumb to figure out the switch.


  39. Me: Hey, you can use my shower! The hot water works! But it only works when I’m in it, so we’ll have to shower together! That Sucks! I hope I’ll manage!

    Or maybe

    Me: Oh Wow! My name is David! You can say hi to me for her right now! And then I can fuck you after!

    …Just kidding with those…

    On a serious note, it seems she is attracted to me (you) enough to say that I can begin qualifying her, also known as “A3” (yes, I do follow a bit of the MM layout still).

    When I qualify, I first start off by asking the chick for her name, and then I ask this beloved question: “So what do you have going for you?”

    When I ask that question, it tends to open up the conversation more, and gets her actively participated in it.

    Once she starts talking it up, I would continue to talk to her for maybe five minutes. Then I would try to move her to another nearby location. Apparently I am at a beach or something, so I would tell her to “follow me so we can walk around and talk for a little more”. If there was a drink or food stand nearby, I would use one of those as a reason to leave the original pickup spot.

    If she complies with walking to a drink or food stand, I would then begin what I call playful dominance; something that I have done since I was younger. As I am walking around with this chick to the drink stand or whatever, I would begin playfully and aloofly bumping into her softly to steer her in the direction of an obstacle or person or whatever.

    This is something I have been doing for a long time and I almost always get the chick laughing when I do it. But I’d say the biggest purpose of doing my playful dominance “tactic” is that it tends to completely change the mood of the interaction from serious to playful and fun. And once the interaction turns playful and fun, I could almost say I have her in the bag.

    If she complies with the playful dominance “tactic”, the mood would be considered playful and fun, so once we get to the drink stand, I would simply start being my entertaining cocky self. At this point me and this chick should be laughing with each other at least every 15-30 seconds for the rest of the interaction.

    Drink in hand (FUCK NO I AIN’T BUYIN HER ONE), I would begin to lead the two of us to a place where we can sit. Chairs, hammock, sand, whatever. Once we sit, I would begin giving her short peck kisses in little spots such as her shoulder, forehead, cheek, upper back. Pulling away after for a couple seconds after every couple kisses. She should be laughing, as well as being a little turned on during this. Eventually, after a minute or so, she would start to give me more deeper eye contact, and I would go for an actual kiss on the lips. Adhering to the Will Smith 90/10 rule, making it last about 3-5 seconds, and then pulling away.

    After the kiss, I would continue our interaction, and I imagine she would eventually bring up seeing each other again. Once she does that, I would be HAPPY.

    Ps: My name really is David. So I obviously would have made out quite well if I was in your shoes.

    I know you are totes jelotes.


  40. the way I read it the shark moment was dead ..you look like RAIN MAN going back there..


    • my way would be to not interrupt the flow ..she’s in the flow to go ..go with her ..but guide her to a setting that I can control …

      who wants a number ..and play that text phone tag nonsense when you haven’t been able to make a profound impression..you call ..”oh it’s that guy I talked to for 15 seconds on the beach”

      ..if you did already make an impression ..you are good looking enough that it doesn’t matter what you do as long as you keep making jokes..

      interesting conversation..and no questioning who’s david who’s the girlfriend..why you here where you from..what blah blah blah..forget that private investigator rap..be interesting..she’ll be dying to tell you all that.. w/o u asking


      • and as to inviting myself to dinner..first ..why do I want to have dinner with her and friends.. all she’s got going for her so far is she’s new, cute and was somewhat responsive ..I want to explore this to my best easiest options..not hers..otherwise I’m chasing..so why ? She knows in the first 5 minutes..so I want to give her the chance to take action on her feeling in a non threatening way.. my strength is wit class charm and humor..and I want to play them

        as to trying to sex close .. before her dinner …if she’s not chomping gum ..inked up..3 different shades of hair dressed like a slut ..and touching herself while she talking with you..and your not a rockstar.. 95% probability it aint happening


      • on August 1, 2011 at 7:03 pm Obstinance Works

        who wants a number ..and play that text phone tag nonsense when you haven’t been able to make a profound impression..you call ..”oh it’s that guy I talked to for 15 seconds on the beach”

        It’s much easier to text her later that night when she’s drunk, horny, and bored. So easy if you ask me.


  41. tell her you are dying of cancer and start crying.. tell her that you’ve only got a few months to live and have no friends and want to hang with her.


    when you game the shit out of all her friends at the party she invites you too, the jealousy plotline will evoke from her a sympathy fuck. Do it raw and be sure to get her pregnant. Make sure she knows that it’s her social responsibility to have your child as to pass on your genes.. and to make David think it’s his so that he can beta-provide for it.


    never talk to her again.

    Just kidding.


  42. my piece of advice.

    Ignore her shit test, don’t say anything, just look at her and make a smirk. When, in the next second, she’s about to go, I’d say “Do take the cold shower at your friend’s place” (or something like that, I can’t really make lines in English, but the important fact is that she’s just met a super hot alpha guy and she needs to cool down)
    Her: “Why?”
    You: “You’ll cool down.”
    Her: “I don’t need to … I’m not upset at all”
    You: “Try it. You’ll feel the difference”
    Her: “I think you’re the one who should take a cold shower, you’re seeing the sharks where there are none … this is worrisome”
    Now you can change the subject of the conversation abruptly again.


  43. Only one man can help you now..


  44. “If you doubt me about the shark fin, then go ahead and jump in.”


  45. I think a problem with some of the guys here is that they are actually acknowledging the shark remark.

    Don’t enter her frame.

    I would ignore the statement. Not because I am some alpha master, but rather because the statement doesn’t comes across as relevant…

    At least that’s what my unconscious told me.


    • me too – sidestepping her frame is easier and more tingle-generating than coming up with the perfect witty retort about the shark


      • Yes, because now it’s hard to come up with a perfect answer – it was his mistake actually, making up a non-existent shark’s fin. Now it’s better to ignore it and come up with something even more clever …


  46. If anything the shark remark is an IOI of sorts…but still not worth truly acknowledging.


  47. “There is warm water in my shower, by the way”


  48. This is an interesting case, and the PUA is presented essentially with two sets of options: disqualification or qualification. The first decision that needs to be made is which direction to go in. Given the fact that the girl is quite hot (8-9?) and that up to that point she is relatively uninterested, disqualification tactics are the best bet. Add the fact that she is ready to leave, disqualification presents a kind of higher-risk, higher-reward method: if it works, instant attraction can be triggered. So, how to go about disqualifying? Neg can work, but needs to be very calibrated—not too strong as to piss her off, and not to soft as to prevent attraction. My tactic would be something like this:
    “hey, before you go, any chance you can introduce me to your cute friend?”

    This is a good middle ground that is very likely to get a response, put her ina qualifying frame, and lay the foundational seeds of attraction.


    • Dammit you beat me to it. As I’m beginning to hit mid-level game, I have stumbled upon the idea that giving attention/faux interest in the lesser attractive friend plants you solidly in the hotter girls mind. So yes, I agree that going this route is a good idea for the longer term potential of fucking the hot friend.


    • Killer Instinct has the best single observation — involve the cockblockess, if possible. I hope KI likes Chinese period films.

      But it’s still a long shot. And it’s too cute for maximum effectiveness. Contrary to popular belief, when the infantry has to “take that hill,” it doesn’t do clever flanking maneuvers and feints. It charges straight up that bitch. That’s good advice here, too. Best to reduce complications like female competitiveness unless an advantage presents itself on a silver platter. And sometimes you’re just not doing yourself any favors. What if the cock interceptor is Marge Large-and-in-Charge?

      Nevertheless, it’s a good thought experiment. There are many factors we just don’t know from the description. Is the friend comparably attractive? Is she affably manipulable in a friendly-competition way, or is she a banshee scrote-torquer with latent lesbian jealousies? What was her body language during the interruption? Curious or huffy?

      If she wants to play as much as her smirky magazine-reading friend does, then come on in the hot tub, the water’s fine. Jack Tripper taught us that three’s company too. The more the merrier, you can play them off each other, while they let down their guard in the false comfort of strength in numbers. A roomful of ninjas never deterred Jackie Chan from entering the fray. Why should two little tag-teaming girls deter us?

      Manage the players, maestro. You’re the conductor they’ve been for. They are looking at your baton.


    • I also vote for K.I. I don’t think it matters what the friend looks like, because, ideally, you would never even meet her again until after you’ve closed the hottie.

      I say go for broke. Forget about email addresses and phone numbers, or meeting her some other time. You’re with her now. She told her friend not to wait if she’s late, as if she’s expecting to wind up in your bedroom (or some other Alpha that comes along if you fail to close). All you need to do is go with it.

      She might suggest you come with her to meet the friend (meaning you’re still hanging with her), or she might do something lame like get your digits. Either way, you leave when she leaves, then say you need to go home and change clothes (by all means, don’t follow her to go shopping if that’s what she’s doing), and suggest that she take a shower at your place, all the while under the presumption that you’re after the friend, which she knows is a pretense. Once at your place, let nature take it’s course.


    • on August 1, 2011 at 7:10 pm Obstinance Works

      That could work, but the neg was already stated. I would have went for the number then established rapport that way. Much easier.


      • on August 1, 2011 at 7:13 pm Obstinance Works

        Well I’m thinking more aloof/low-energy game at this point. He could have bounced up and followed them or grabbed her wrist as she was walking away and went from there, but I’m thinking he’s in relax mode at this point.


  49. disapproving look

    “I once had a run in with a shark….” Then tell her word for word Leonardo Dicaprio’s story about killing the shark in the beach to DHV. Then tell her about the beach word for word as if you were at the beach living there to DHV. Then when she asks “isnt that like from that movie the beach?”

    You say “… uh no”


  50. If you’d like to talk a little more, there’s an elevator nearby that’s real cozy.


  51. Do NOTHING, cause you screwed it up from the beginning!


    • True. But n alpha framer can turn it upside down.

      The line about introduction to the cute friend is not bad, but has only 50% chances.

      In my case, I’ve my shark bonafides. I’d use them to my advantage to the fullest. Can’t divulge more, there would be 3000 “shark” frames used by tomorrow and then one day I’ll be told: “I’ve heard that before.”


      • You’re back! hehe!!

        Well at least for me. if I detect a game, the game is over.

        In this scenario, if I was a guy, I would use the MAGAZINE to the fullest. Right at the beginning when she is totally off guard. I would think through what I needed to say BEFORE I say it. I wouldn’t talk about her, but perhaps “my sister” with reference to the mag. I don’t know, but keep it non threatening allowing her feel comfortable.

        The shark topic, I think is TOO LATE.

        I would keep my alpha frame and take my loses and perhaps end by saying ” if i see you again, I’ll give you a chance to hear my story about the shark” smirk, smirk, smirk.


    • I don’t think it’s screwed up from the beginning, I’d say that almost everything he said was very alpha (especially saying what women feel like, to be treated like a piece of meat – it’s amazing, because you really have to be very self confident to say that), the problem is that the girl thinks quickly as well, so I’m really interested what he said to her at the end to appear smarter/better than she is … Can’t wait for the update 🙂


      • Maya, right I am looking forward to hearing the end too!

        I disagree with the line about “women and being treated like a piece of meat” I would know he is full of SHIT! Minus points for him. WHY empathize with me and other women when I’m no asking for it. Well, maybe this line will work for others but not me, at least not so early on.

        Let’s wait and see what will happen! : )


      • what,

        this line would work if the guy was extremely alpha, believe me. If a creepy guy said this, it would be a huge turn-off, I agree. I’d run away quickly, feeling nauseated. But if a totally confident and 100% alpha man says this – it works. At least it works on me. Maybe you’ve never met a guy like this, because there are not very many of them and they are usually 30+.
        I also was surprised the first time when this happened to me – I tried to force myself into thinking that a guy who behaves like that (=extremely sexually assertive in his words and actions) is disgusting, crazy, on anabolic steroids, should be prosecuted for sexual harassment etc., but at the same time I couldn’t stop feeling how extremely sexy he is. (Not to mention that I subconsciously followed (stalked?) him everywhere because of the visceral attraction I felt towards him – even today I’d have sex with him immediately – um, no, wait, I wouldn’t, because I’m waiting for my husband …). It’s strange. I know it’s not just me feeling like that – it works on most women – the proof is this blogger/s and others who practice game.
        But you have to know how to do it … without lies and deception.


      • Maya,
        I respect what you’re saying. But, clearly Maya is Maya and What is What! : )


      • I believe you. You’re right. I only can write about my own experience. I definitely am a girl who could be gamed with the most aggressive alpha tricks possible, but I accept that not every woman is susceptible to this. I’ll rather stop assuming that everyone is the same. Sorry for this.


      • Ok I’ve read it again and even if you screwed it up from the beginning here is how to end it:

        “Wait….ok, I don’t read girl mags. As you can see I AM a man. The shark…hey, there ARE sharks out there! ( smirk and laughs haha) I just wanted to get your attention and yes get your number. I find you cute and I thought I would try my luck. Since you are leaving right now, what’s your number? I’ll call you to tell you what kind of magazine I actually read!” (total confidence ..no fear straight and up front!)

        THAT I can respect!



      • I’m so excited!!!!hahahhahha!! I spoke to my brother and this is what he’d say. Actually, he told me he NEVER picks up women , they come to him! RIGHT!!! lol!!! Whatever….

        he says as she is leaving….

        “you’ve misunderstood me. the SHARK is in my pants!! (smirk, straight face, suggestive eyes)

        I started LMAO!!!


      • aaaand this is why sexual harassment lawsuits need to be immediately abolished.

        “if he’s cute and grabs my ass it’s awesome! if he’s ugly, it’s creepy and traumatizing!”


      • what,

        there’s one other thing … I’m amazed by my reading comprehension disability. I’m really not good at English …
        “… men have to look good for their female bosses. Now I know what you ladies feel like, to be treated like a piece of meat.” This sentence means that he now understands how is it to be treated like a piece of meat, right?
        I completely misunderstood it and wrote two posts about it 😀 Can’t believe it.
        I’m not going to explain what I thought it means but it’s probably obvious from my two previous posts 🙂


    • on August 1, 2011 at 7:16 pm Obstinance Works

      Pick ups are always full of screw ups. I harldy ever do them just right, but that doesn’t seem to matter sometimes. It’s the thrill of the case that matters most.


    • on August 1, 2011 at 7:17 pm Obstinance Works

      I’m always doing things wrong during pick ups. Sometimes it doesn’t matter though. The thrill of the chase matters most to me anyway.


  52. say, “there’s way more out there than meets the eye”

    find out where’s she having dinner, and ask her to meet up for cocktails when she’s done with dinner, which will not uncoincentally (though u will act like it is) be nearby. convey you’re not 100% sure you’ll be there (since you’ll really be doing whatever you were gonna be doing, anyway), so she should text you first (which will give you the heads-up to get over there, or better yet have her go somewhere closer to you if you can’t make it there within a reasonable amoutn of time since you’ll have her interest by this point).

    the quoted line above sets up a return the beach/fuck session after cocktails, and then you can have her over for a warm shower since she has to use a shower thats not convenient to get a warm one, which leads to another round and stayover.


  53. “Oh no, there’s definitely a shark here.

    *Grin at her with roguish innocence and continue talking before she fully registers that*

    So since you already told your friend that you’re going to be late, I say we get dinner at the Tiki Tiki Bar, you won’t even need to change out of your bikini.”

    Wink at her.


  54. Or even better…

    “…tiki tiki bar, you can change out of your bikini later.”

    Wink at her!
    🙂 🙂

    Yeah baby…Panties come off! Yeah! WOOOT!


  55. Great post…This is typical “Day game”…

    Points to note:

    IOI #1

    “”She’s turned her torso to me now, and I can see that she’s given me a minute to make my pitch.””

    Reframe: note he doesn’t get defensive..

    HERE: Sounds a little girly for a man.”

    YOU: “It’s a new age we live in.

    IOI#2 “She smiled for the first time.”

    She’s intrigued. At this point you reframe away from the negative “i don’t talk to strangers” and create a new reality about the invisible shark.

    I do this all the time….Since she’s playing along, there’s strong compliance….

    IOI #3

    “”She smiled, or maybe smirked. “Well, I’ve gotta go. It was nice talking about invisible sharks with you.”””

    You’ve got 3 IOI’s, smile, compliance and reframe. This is a memorable moment for her.

    I would have stood up before her to establish dominance and said…..

    “Listen….I gotta go….”

    When she stood up to leave…this would be the time to initiate light kino…

    Something like….

    You: Kinoeing her by lightly touching her upper forearm and looking at her smiling: “I’m an invisible oceanographer…I know these things…”

    She would have laughed or blathered on…

    Then you number close…

    “I’ve got to go back to my invisible submarine, what’s your email, I’ll send you a few of my recent photos from my last dive….Invisible, shark, invisible octopus….Invisible gold fish…”

    Get her email….Walk away.

    A few days later, send her a photo of an empty sea and suggest some activity….


    • This is a win unless she clearly responds with more intensity


    • Not bad.


    • I think this is not the best idea, saying you’re an invisible oceanographer … Why? It’s not really smart or shocking. Her idea about invisible sharks was better, so the guy should come up with an idea even better than hers. In my opinion it’s best to ignore what she said and change the subject, because if you’re not able to come up with a really smart sentence about sharks, pretend that you think what she said is childish and unimportant an say something you want, to show her that you’re better then she is.
      You shouldn’t show your beta side now! Girls want smart and self-confident guys and if you’re not able to outsmart her it’s better to show your feelings of frustration than saying something that reveals your poor cognitive function (compared to hers, because we have to admit – this girl here is quite smart and fun – I couldn’t think of a really smart “shark” answer to say it back myself).

      In conclusion:

      “lightly touching her upper forearm and looking at her smiling: “I’m an invisible oceanographer…I know these things…””


      touching (=sexually assertive) + smiling (=weak) together is creepy (www.publicaffairs.ubc.ca/wp-content/…/Happy-Guys…in-pres-Emotion.pdf), but combined with an answer which is neither smart (compared to hers) nor shocking, just makes things worse.

      I’m speaking in general, of course. If the guy was extremely alpha and good-looking almost anything would work and touching the girl would only make her swoon. ( … Better … make me swoon … I’m making generalizations and speaking about all women on this planet, while actually only knowing my own reactions … But I presume that parts of brain which are responsible for reproduction are very similar in all females, so I think I’m not too far away from the truth – especially because all the scientific studies I’ve seen on this topic agree with me + almost everything written on this blog would work on me 100%).


      • The link doesn’t work, but there’s a wonderful post on hookingupsmart, where I actually saw this study (http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2011/05/25/relationshipstrategies/how-to-be-hot-women-should-smile-more-men-less/), and a text from this study …

        “The friendliness signal sent by happy displays may also be relevant; if this message is taken to indicate sexual receptivity, it would increase women’s mate value, but potentially decrease men’s. If male sexual receptivity is, to some extent, taken for granted, a social communication along these lines may indicate neediness or desperation.”


      • on August 1, 2011 at 7:23 pm Obstinance Works

        Women also do better when they compliment more and act nice. Stroke the ego.


      • I think this is not the best idea, saying you’re an invisible oceanographer … Why? It’s not really smart or shocking.

        it was clever, and that’s all that it needs to be. he took her invisible shark comment, rolled with it, and turned it towards his advantage.

        You shouldn’t show your beta side now! Girls want smart and self-confident guys and if you’re not able to outsmart her it’s better to show your feelings of frustration than saying something that reveals your poor cognitive function

        showing feelings of frustration is mega uber beta. this is one of the worst things a guy could do.

        a pickup isn’t about establishing cognitive superiority, it’s about establishing attraction. women may say they want a smart guy, but attraction isn’t about what women’s forebrains say they want, it’s about what their hindbrains/vaginas really want.

        if wala wanted to establish cognitive superiority, i’m sure he could have outsmarted her by shifting the topic of conversation to engineering or mathematics and demolished her intellectually. but do you really think she would then respond with ‘you’re so smart, my pussy is overflowing, let’s fuck’? at best, he would just become her really smart friend.


      • I don’t agree with you. If I talk to a guy and see him frustrated because of my answers I think it’s way sexier than when he tries to appear super smart/confident/witty when he actually isn’t. This shark comment wasn’t clever at all, not in my opinion. If I was the girl in this story, I’d be turned off.

        Smart guys are sexy. A pickup actually is about establishing some cognitive superiority – you have to think quickly. I’m sure most girls don’t want to be with a guy who’s much more stupid than they are.


      • but that’s exactly it, you aren’t the girl in this story. the girl in this story is an american 8 or 9 who is well socialized (i.e. knows how to flirt).

        you’re making a common mistake that many female commentators make here when they try to back up their ‘that won’t work’ assertions – you explain why it won’t work on you and then expand that to other women, in direct contradiction to the experiences of those of us who actually date women. we know what tends to work, what leads to the results we want, because we actually put this shit into practice. you don’t, because you don’t date women.

        p.s. maybe you do actually find a guy who gets frustrated at women’s remarks sexier, but getting frustrated is very very beta.


      • @itsme

        “”we know what tends to work, what leads to the results we want, because we actually put this shit into practice. you don’t, because you don’t date women.””

        Exactly….context is everything here….the role-play and improvisation is in the moment. He’s talking about invisible sharks.

        I talk about zombies and vampires…doesn’t matter. If she’s intrigued, she’ll play along.

        Don’t go over-board and you can milk this into nicknames, into all sorts of sexual tension.

        In my case, the girl is constantly puttting her head near my neck as if she’s a vampire to bite me…

        How this whole role-play with me started…I can’t quite recall…but it’s like an ongoing riff.

        Maya doesn’t get it at all….because most women aren’t self-aware about what attracts them.

        That’s why….women are attracted to jerks even though it’s counter-intuitive…


      • Awww! How sweet! Maya and her WWMD (What Would Maya Do). This is not all about you!


      • on August 1, 2011 at 7:27 pm Obstinance Works

        These broads have been rather cheeky lately.


      • Maya…your responses “This shark comment wasn’t clever at all…”

        This is all about context. Read it, maybe it’s a bit lame…but in the dynamic being described, just saying anything remotely improvisational comes off as imaginative.

        You’re analyzing this with some cold logic to pick it apart.

        But in reality most women don’t know why they’re attracted to a guy, and often it makes no sense to them at the time…

        The point of being cocky-funny is to establish a point of difference.

        Also, in my own personal situation, I’ve established a rapport with a very attractive girl who knows I’m involved with someone.

        All we ever talk about is zombies and vampires….it came up by accident. If I described the conversation it would be completely dumb.

        But because she never knows what I’m going to say next and I’m always riffing off her with this zombie stuff…she keeps saying “you’re so crazy…you’re so crazy…”

        That coupled with the pre-selection of knowing I have another girl makes this interaction dramatic and almost dangerous= attraction.

        Maya, your comments are well-intentioned but completely uninformed.

        If you were that girl in that situation described in this post and someone started up with a comment about an invisible shark….you’d be equally intrigued and wondering what that guy was going to say next because every other guy who hit on you in the past would have been fumbling around awkwardly.

        The one key reframe in this descrption is when she shit-tests him with:

        HER: “Why would you need that? Sounds a little girly for a man.”

        HIM: “It’s a new age we live in. Men have to look good for their female bosses. Now I know what you ladies feel like, to be treated like a piece of meat.”

        Read, re-read: he passes this shit test by first ignoring her premise and avoids getting defensive. Then he establishes his own “high-value” by suggesting he knows what it’s like to be desired “like a piece of meat”….

        He understands the tension she’s feeling and completely milks it….


      • walawala,

        I’m sorry that I’m a bit unclear and confused in my posts, often. I agree with you, it’s all about context. I didn’t want to say that this oceanographer idea is stupid by itself, but in my opinion it doesn’t go so well together with the context in the blog post. The problem is that the girl’s remark was too smart.

        “If you were that girl in that situation described in this post and someone started up with a comment about an invisible shark…”

        I’d be very intrigued. Only reading this story makes me intrigued, as a girl. That’s why I’m wondering how we could end it in super alpha style instead of diluting it with oceanographers and smiling.

        “You’re analyzing this with some cold logic to pick it apart.”

        No. I’m not analyzing it with cold logic. I just read it and I feel whether it’s sexy, so-so, boring or even creepy.

        “Maya doesn’t get it at all….because most women aren’t self-aware about what attracts them. That’s why….women are attracted to jerks even though it’s counter-intuitive…”

        I know I’m attracted to jerks. And here’s the problem with your oceanographer remark: It’s not jerky enough. But maybe it’s just me. I want a super-jerky ending of this story.


  56. I dunno. If she’s already walking off, I think you’ve already lost her.

    Though I guess she hasn’t walked off, she’s merely said “I gotta go”. So the correct thing to do is to pretend she never said that, and engage her on a totally new, random and entirely distracting topic of conversation. If you’re making sufficiently fascinating conversation, it’ll take her at least three more “Okay, now I *really* have to go”s before she actually leaves.

    But mostly I’m just replying to say that I love the line “People aren’t very perceptive, in general” and I’m stealing it.


    • She’s not walking off. According to the scenario, she’s packing up her stuff and lingers for a second.

      That’s the time to get up, walk over. When she gets up kino her.

      You have to initiate kino and then keep up with the role-play.

      In this situation I’d ask for email not number and then as I mention in my post above keep up with the invisible shark theme by sending a photo of an empty sea with the headline “Giant Octopus”…

      Then suggest going for drinks, or whatever…

      I’m reading through these posts and it seems everyone is over-complicating the whole thing.

      This is a situation of Day Game where the girl is giving IOI’s, there’s compliance, it’s all light and playful.

      If you ask for her number it’s too weird and needy.

      If you make a joke, then ask for her email…it’s much less threatening.

      Chicks love photos and they love email.


  57. “we can continue it when dinners done. maybe debbie could drop you off at (some place) for dessert and a drink. lets exchange numbers”

    get the number, end it there. it doesnt seem like she needs to be gamed up until the end, the initial throwdown opened the door wide enough for you both to act human and speak normally for a quick minute at the end. i say keep it short and sweet, as trying to be real clever and witty at this crucial juncture could look too tryhard to her.


    • But in this situation asking for the number seems almost try hard. Asking for the email is much better and less intrusive given the aloofness she’s displayed during this whole exchange.

      She’ll be more likely to share that.

      It’s daylight, she’s about to leave, after the role-play about the invisible shark asking for the number would seem to me desperate.

      Nothing so far has been overtly sexual, it’s been playful.

      She’s displaying IOI’s and intrigued. An email follow-up would be smoother and less awkward if you called and she didn’t take your calls/respond to your sms.

      If you send an email and she doesn’t respond no biggie, but chicks love written communication for some reason.


  58. Sign of a good night: 18 year old blonde, attractive, tall, good figure, lovely clothes… obviously very inexperienced, could hardly leave her friends, friends gave the seal of approval and took some photos, it was actually really easy in the end… Not sure I can bothered to deal with the shyness though but there’s a nice sense of achievement in getting an 18 year old.

    Didn’t read the above too much. If I think things through too much I’ve lost already. I love this blog for the mentality it teaches as much as anything.


  59. Lozozozllzlzozo

    I thought ben bernqanjejeje bernqje bernan.ke had oulled the pluglzlzzozozzzz


  60. on July 28, 2011 at 9:46 pm Neil Hansen

    Welcome to the west coast, Heartiste.

    Coke bottle glasses was too strong a neg, imo. This situation requires indirect game. Maggirl needs flattery; she needs to be told how great she is, how beautiful and how smart. But it needs to insinuated, gently teased out:

    “Do you like that magazine?”
    “Yes, why?”
    “You could be the covergirl.”
    “Why, thank you.”(smiling)
    “I’ll get my camera so we can start shooting immediately.”
    “You don’t waste any time.”(playing with hair, curiously)”Are you a photographer?”
    “Just a hobby. Picked it up when I was volunteering in Kenya.” “Tell you what. Let me just regard you objectively for awhile and think about what kind of lens I need.”
    “Naughty boy.”

    This is when I put on my mask and start poking my tongue out between the hole while simultaneously dancing the Lambada.

    Works every time.


  61. I am so excited you are not dead, and I wonder how long it is going to take people to find your new blog.


  62. “What’s your friend’s name?

    *hand her your phone*

    Well gimme your number so I can sext you later when I’m drunk.”


  63. on July 28, 2011 at 10:06 pm old guy, lower case

    Did you move just to lose Neecy? If so, how long do you think it will work? Glad you’re still around, I’m gonna start archiving your stuff now that you scared me.


    • I’m sorry why would you mention my name? Whatever. Anyway, I’m not going anywhere darling!!!


    • Fuck Neecy! Figuratively speaking of course. Bitch gives me a headache.


      • She’s clearly here to disrupt what she considers to be unhealthy behavior. Her blog says as much.


      • This place has outlasted many such bitches. If he wanted her gone he’d just ban her.


      • I HONESTLY do not care about any of you t to disrupt anything. I’m not into changing the minds of idiots and woman haters. Some of the MEN (yes key word MEN) here are decent enough to converse with. Unfortunatley, you’ve got MANY immature losers (like yourself)who cannot seem to ignore the very people they claim bug them.

        Either way i will simply only respond to Heartiste’s posts and real MEN who have something decent to add or say.

        The rest of you can burn in hell!

        Good day!


      • That is some classic shaming right there. Also a fine, fine example of over emotive female hypocrisy. Nice job!


      • on August 1, 2011 at 7:31 pm Obstinance Works

        No she just has low self-esteem and no friends.


  64. Why do I want to win tickets to a movie that gets a 15% reviewer rating on Rotten Tomatoes?


  65. (You) “In case you were wondering, yes.”
    (Her) “Yes what?”
    (You) “To your question.”
    (Her) “What question?”
    (You) “Yes, I think I might be able to schedule you in later this evening for the kickoff of shark week.”


    • Too wordy. Funny, but not tight enough.


      • yeah I guess you’re right. at this point I’d say he blew it already, that would be my hail marry attempt to bring her back in. I mean, if she *wanted* me to pick her up, she’d “take the bait,” yuk yuk yuk!


  66. “Your boyfriend? Well, he can watch while I f*ck your brains out to screaming orgasms and jizz on your face. If you didn’t want it, you wouldn’t be hear talking to me now… now, would you?”


  67. “Hey your friend is pretty hot. Why didn’t she introduce herself instead of putting on the house mom act…Sounds like you better not make her upset.”

    (stoke the insecurity….then stoke it again by implying her friend orders her around)


  68. She smiled, or maybe smirked. “Well, I’ve gotta go. It was nice talking about invisible sharks with you.”

    Insist that the shark is quite visible with a very, very slight hint of amusement. “Not invisible. Look. See, it’s right there. You seriously don’t see it?”

    When she moves for a better view, you get up (perhaps w/an exaggerated sigh of frustration/disbelief) to help orient her vision in the direction of where the shark’s supposed to be. Kino time. Try to get your arms/heads to touch in order for her to tell precisely where you’re pointing to.

    If she smirks/smiles/banters, you stick to your guns and assure her she’s blind, that even with her head right next to yours, your eyes staring at the same spot, that damned fin is there and you’re seeing it, clear as day. She might playfully hit your shoulder trying to make you admit you’re fucking with her. Don’t budge verbally; only let your suppressed, sideways grin reassure her that you’re not simply hopped-up on hallucinogens.

    If she doesn’t, you tell her it must’ve gone under and that she’s free to leave having missed a big shark (and possible, awesome shark-attack). Or she could give it a minute to return. She stays if she’s interested.


  69. look in the direction her friend ran off and say “your boss is kinda cute”


  70. Don’t mention her girl-friend in any sexual objective terms reason being is this femine target has been gamed on a million times,she’ll regonize that your trying to get her jealous, This tactic won’t convey the message of cock-sure type of man. Her friend David is a non issue. Listen to the descrption of this scenario. It seems that David is most likely a friend that she has no sexual feeling or gina tingles for. So mentioning David makes you a candidate for beta of the month award by her vagometer. Next scene: Tell her not all sharks live in the water. Conveniently invite her her for a couple of cock-tails BEFORE her dinner plans with her friends. Use “intrigue game” tell her an incredible yet believeable lie concerning your “occupation”/reason for traveling to the island. Neil Hansen’s game of being a photographer might work, or go for the killer technique: the bold truth mixed with an ingenious lie! Tell her your a realtionship counselor/writer, and your writing a fictional story on relationships. This should get her vaginal juices flowing from the arguing and debating that will naturally occurr. Tantilize her hamster with your keen observations and humerous insights on human behavior. Stride light and soft on the negs in order to spread her legs. Cut the cock tail session short while at the height of interaction/her laughter and intrigue. Get her number,buy this time she’ll be offering it to you for sure. Let her go to dinner with her friends, but I GURANTEE you she’ll either A: attempt to continue your convo so it can lead to some penile penetration or more probable B: call you/come over to your place right after her dinner date with her friends for a night-cap. Which she’ll be more than excited to tell her friends about AFTER she has had the utterly breath taking/poon shaking amorous experience. For the pursuite of glorious vaginal victory/one night grand-stands, lying is more than acceptable it is NECESSARY(ONLY TO BE USED ON 9’S,AND 10’S. You lose points for applying grandiose/no-shame game on 8’s and below while scouting for poon when out of natural locale/state territories).


  71. TEST YOUR MIGHT… GBFM where you at?


  72. YOU – Is this the bit where you ask for my number


  73. ““Well, I’ve gotta go. It was nice talking about invisible sharks with you.””

    “Hey, hold on there! You haven’t even told me what time you’re picking me up for dinner yet.”


  74. As she leaves, introduce the qualification/challenge:. The whole underlying vibe is postively in your favor.

    “I hope you’re as interesting a conversationalist on other topics”


    “So let me ask you a question”


    “Are you single?” Straight-faced, serious. No BS.

    “Well… uhhh” if she has a boyfriend. “Yes” if no. “No” is the same as rejection.

    To the former, you say “I’ll take that as a yes”. Either way, you continue:

    “I’ll bet you have a very interesting life story to tell – that involves other things besides invisible sharks and how you never needed glasses. Before you go, give me your number. Maybe you can enrapture me sometime”

    You throw out it there. The boldness will get you plus points from her either way. Whether she bites or not will depend on the time of the month.


    • Why are you asking the boyfriend question? She’s already got the hamster spinning trying to justify him away (if she further indulges conversation), why bring him up and make it that much harder for her?

      For a moment I thought you were going to stack into a routine, but you just kind of left it there awkwardly and switched gears. I would definitely deep-six the boyfriend question.


      • say it to yourself:

        “Do you have a boyfriend” is NOT the same as “Are you single?”

        The latter is the same as asking does she like to have a good time. The former is asking if she needs an excuse not to talk to you.


  75. The friend’s interruption wasn’t the worst development in the world. It forced a sense of urgency and drove matters to the decision point. Even without a solid foundation of rapport, if we are sufficiently nimble in setting what little framework we can, she will fill in the blanks about us positively. All things being equal, more time to establish rapport would have been better, but that also means more time to overdo it.

    We are the mazebuilders. We set up the twists and turns and let her find her way to us. She is doing the labor — thinking ahead, left or right, backtrack, pause, run, what’s around that corner? — but all passages lead to us. Her emotional exhilaration will make it feel as though she made the journey under her own power, and the greater the effort the greater the reward will seem.

    But always leave an out: an easy way for her to short-circuit the process you set in motion. Because, although she knows she is being manipulated (and likes it), squeezing the girl too hard induces panic and defensiveness. More important, it is unbecoming a man with options to make it difficult for a woman to say no.

    The victorious strategist only seeks battle after the victory has been won, whereas he who is destined to defeat first fights and afterwards looks for victory. — Sun Tzu

    You win or lose in the set-up. Too direct and you come off as an eager-beaver, trying too hard. Not direct enough and your passivity renders you a piece of unnoticed furniture in her landscape. This set-up was in its infancy, but it was enough to work with if her indicators are accurate.

    Along comes her friend and interrupts a developing momentum that the magazine girl was enjoying well enough.

    Asking her to stay or even indicating your preference for her to stick around is weak. She is one of many who come and go in your life. The most you should do is knock the ball into her court, leave the decision to her.

    “It was nice talking about invisible sharks with you” is gold-medal cleverness from a woman. It is almost a guy’s line — the equivalent of a WNBA dunk, routine for men, jaw-dropping for women — an indicator that she wants to extend the repartee but has no excuse or strength to alter the circumstances that are causing her to move on. That is your opening to invite the safe option.

    “I’ll be at [some place for drinks] at 10.” This allows her to chicken out and pass, if she wants. But it also gives her a fun little mental game to occupy her for the next few hours — will I or won’t I? Curiosity thrilled the pussycat.

    “I’m in on business until tomorrow night, then back east.” This sets the one-time-only invite that 1) ups the value of the opportunity, 2) increases the urgency, 3) requires no serious commitment.

    But it is absolutely vital to continue the light banter as you are dropping the important information/invitation. What is the exact content of the banter? That’s where the art of conversation applies. It’s called “stichomythia” if you fancy huh. Once she is smirking and trading witticisms (“full of sass and flourish, signifying everything”), it’s hard to mess up, unless you are a flat-out dullard.

    You string the exchange along, using her apparent need to leave as a more and more obvious counterweight to the enjoyable dialogue that has “spontaneously” developed. In my experience that the real fun begins once she has made her unretractable statement of departure. The longer she stays the more of a liar she is, the more undeniable and embarrassingly obvious her attraction becomes, and the closer she has been pushed to finding a way to continue the connection later.

    The conversation takes on a sweet tension as she is torn between her promise to go and her desire to match your verbal challenge. “I really do have to go!” “I’m not keeping you here, just tell me this before you flounce away to your incredibly interesting dinner date with Debbie Downer and Don’t-Forget-David….” The actual substance of your conversation doesn’t really matter so much as the consistency of energy and inconsistency of direction (“sharks … sunglasses … coke bottles … people aren’t very perceptive”).

    What do you do with Magazine Girl? So there was a slight disturbance in the force, a reversal of momentum, like the brakes necessary for a change in direction. Accelerate into your turns, gentlemen. Who flinches for a second at a cockblock? Who pays attention to “Well, I’ve gotta go….”? That’s the speed-bump equivalent of “I have a boyfriend.” Whose world are we living in, anyway? A man’s world? Or Glamour Magazine’s? We are either taking our cue from the bikini chick who gets her girl-game from Self, or we are laying down markers and bidding them come play in our yard.

    P.S. What’s up with the Atari avatars? I grew attached to my special snowflake.


    • Stichomythia was more common in old movies. Here are examples from the most beautiful woman who ever lived:

      [same video at 0:19 and 6:55]


    • I respect the time that you put into that.


    • King A,

      I miss your snowflake, but anyway …

      “It was nice talking about invisible sharks with you”

      This is a jaw-dropping, gold medal cleverness from a girl? Um. Okay, now I know where your ideas about women having no ability to think come from … I agree that the girl was smart and fun, but many (or even most) people would come up with such or similar idea, because he really just made it up, that he saw a shark.
      My explanation is that the blogger assumed that he’s so hot and alpha that he can say practically anything because the girl’s brain will switch off in his presence. It didn’t happen and that’s why I can’t wait for the update …


      • STFU Maya


      • You are not regularly engaged in an exchange of wits with women, so we can forgive your naivete about their capacity for cleverness.

        In the last analysis, women just have no need to be witty, so they very rarely devote resources into developing the muscle. They try to banter, and it’s cute in a kitten-with-a-ball-of-yarn way, but the smart ones know it’s not their forte. Not that “invisible sharks” is even average for male wit, but to see her spontaneously generate a line like that was an indication of her abnormally elevated interest.

        What is the smartest line you’ve ever come up with in conversation? Or one you heard another woman deliver? No. Let’s make it even easier for you. Make up the whole conversation — male response, female response — and we can judge your skill set. Not that I want to point out your deficiencies so much as recognize the tragedy of placing too much emphasis on the deficiencies that, in a sane world, would be acknowledged as irrelevant for girls. There simply are no funny women, no truly great comediennes. That’s okay. Really it is. Leave the wit to men. Life will be much better for everyone.

        Women have an ability to think. It’s just that they have been misapplying their abilities to manly pursuits in a quixotic attempt at equality, with nothing but Women’s World Cup Soccer to show for it. Start the deprogramming now. I realize it is difficult to come to grips with these brute facts, after a lifetime of lies.


    • Asking her to stay or even indicating your preference for her to stick around is weak. She is one of many who come and go in your life. The most you should do is knock the ball into her court, leave the decision to her.

      Good breakdown, brother.

      I would only add one essential step and then spin it a little differently from you or Xsplat below:

      Invade her space.

      Since she’s made the declaration to leave, any verbalization of “just a sec” or “can I get your number” is a tacit capitulation that she controls the frame.

      So I step up to her, maybe she’s already standing, maybe she’s surprised when she gets up and I’ve already closed the distance. I want her to FEEL the physical manifestation of what has been played out in banter: contest and familiarity. I want our attraction to be VISCERAL, and I want to see her raise by going all in.

      The thread I’d follow, while I gaze penetratingly into her eyes or attempt to catch the scent of her hair, is not the shark thread but something like:

      “Don’t you find that a problem?”

      Her: (defensive) What?

      “People’s general lack of perceptivity. I mean here we are having a perfectly genuine moment and your friend comes and interrupts us. And here I am trying to see if you’re as adventurous as you seem and you’re ready to run off like a deer… You afraid of land sharks?”


      • I don’t know if it’s ever a good idea to directly get a girl to choose between you and her cockblock friend.

        That’s like a wife asking the husband to choose either his mistress, or her. It’s a risky gamble. Better to let them have whatever they have, and you make whatever way you can with the girl.

        You can get her to stay without directly arguing the point against her going. She’ll be the one to say “you know what, I think I will join you!”

        If you create an argument about something, suddenly her mind is picking the side against you, and you are reasononing against each other. When it comes time for the invite, don’t pit it against alternatives, and don’t pit it against her other alliances. Just paint your inviting scene, and let her step in.


      • @Xsplat

        Agreed that you don’t want to create an actual dilemma in the girl’s mind; but the whole point of invading her space is to dominantly subcommunicate that it’s not so much about the words coming out of your mouth as it is the sexual polarity between you.

        If it’s on she should be nodding in agreement before you even stop flapping your gums.


      • Excellent observation. There is a fine art to invading space that you can see most men bumbling when given carte blanche by “the seduction community.” Women don’t want to be pawed per se. They want to be safely imposed upon by dominant men. See the post on the atheist blogger a couple weeks back: “Eww, he assaulted me!” vs. “Teehee, it just happened!”

        It points up just how inconclusive these “tests of game” are on paper. An evaluation shouldn’t be an algebra exam so much as an appeals-court attorney fielding rapid-fire questions from a panel of judges. Coming up with precise answers in the comfort of your home is a world away from improvising effectively on the fly. And the key to improv is an intuitive feel for the situation, a situation that cannot be adequately expressed in a blog post, nor adequately tested through stock responses.

        What’s the vibe? is always the key question to be answered if one is to determine the propriety of any move. Nothing is done in isolation. There are no pure circumstances. Depending on the vibe — and as the man, you should essentially be in command of the vibe anyway — a physical imposition can be interpreted as surprisingly (to her) welcome or inappropriately premature. I find the most helpful advice are tips on how to maintain direction of the vibe rather than advocating any single maneuver, which become obvious to the man who has mastered every element within his purview.

        That said, mastering the tactile is pussy catnip. The skin remembers even when the girl would prefer to forget.


  76. YOU – Is this the part where you ask for my phone number


  77. Would say sth like:

    ” U are clever.. Except when u brag.. I like that about u. Gimme ur phone number”

    Its not perfect, but basically the concept should be to say sth that implies awareness of whats going on by evaluating the conversation as a whole and giving her some validation.


  78. YOU: A boyfriend?

    SHE: Who, David?

    YOU: No, I mean… has she got a boyfriend? Your friend there…

    SHE: Ah, uh… yes/no [whatever]. Why?

    YOU: Nah, she just gave that look to me. I had to ask.

    SHE: She?? Haha, no way! / Really? / Bla-bla-bla

    Re-engage. Talk about the holidays. Ask for the friend’s phone (probably Maggirl will give you hers instead), say all you can meet somewhere after dinner.


  79. “I think I’m gonna see you here same time next week.”

    And then you smile.


  80. Worst train wreck ever. It’s not even worth recovering by this point. But an alpha would…

    Jump in the water, murder the shark and its family by hand, drag it back to the beach and make dinner using TNT or some shit. Then… hold a piece of sizzling shark and… say.

    “This invisible shark steak is really good, I’ll let you take a piece to David after a drink in my cave over there. Btw my part time occupation is the most interesting man in the world.”

    Administer Dom Perigon and then proceed to caveman sex.


  81. …She smiled, or maybe smirked. “Well, I’ve gotta go. It was nice talking about invisible sharks with you.”

    “The most dangerous things are invisible.”

    “Maybe they are..” She chucked her canvas bag over her shoulder and was now standing up, facing me. I remained seated with my legs crossed. What the hell, I refused to accept that she would slip out of here without me getting anything out of this conversation.

    “Since you’re leaving, let me borrow your magazine. You’ll get it back tomorrow. I’m having my after-lunch-espresso right here at noon.”

    She reached with her left arm into her bag, as she walked up to me.

    “Here you go, I’m sure you’ll enjoy the review of sunscreen lotions. You look a little hot”

    I smiled and made sure our fingers touched when she handed over the magazine.

    “Good thing my shower is cold water only. Have a nice day.”

    Best case scenario, she’d join me for a coffee the next day. Innocent. By borrowing me the mag, she’d invested in me. Classical concession on her part. We had already begun to get personal, and my request was smoother than asking her for her number. The magazine would be a perfect excuse for her to investigate me further. “We had a moment… he wasn’t like all the other beach greasers we’ve met so far” she would tell her friends after her fifth glass of rosé wine later that night.

    Worst case scenario? She’d get cold feet and not show up. At least I’d have something to read while scouting for my next target. Oh, there were also lots of hot pictures of fit women showing the lastest yoga pose wearing tight spandex in the magazine. Always nice to enjoy a cup of espresso having a hard-on.

    Post Scriptum.
    There was no shark in the water. I’m the shark.


  82. “Oh, you looked like the bookish type who wears coke bottle glasses in the library.”

    Hilarious. Thank goodness for contact lenses.


  83. I’m starting to wonder if any of the commenters here have ever actually had a woman in their life. Seems like most of you come here to post something in between bouts of WoW.

    We know a few things:
    * She is at the beach, dressed sexy, reading the functional equivalent of Playboy.
    * She has clearly indicated interest in you.
    * Her friend has said she can “leave her stuff at my place.” Therefore she’s physically dislodged at this moment. She has stuff that needs to be left somewhere.
    Her friend came to check up on her, and mentioned David in your presence, which could mean all kinds of things and presents plenty of opportunity for you.
    * She may intend to see David between now and when she meets her friend. Her friend knows David. David could be a friend or an ex. You don’t know and you don’t care. In any case he’s not with her now so the ball is in play.

    Your goal is to offer something better than meeting up with David and then meeting her friend. She has made it clear to her friend that she may not make dinner, and she’s made it clear in your presence. Which speaks volumes.

    Here’s a take:
    You: “what are you doing between now and 8:30?” (Indicates that you noticed the context of her conversation with friend.)
    Her: “getting ready to go out” or “going to meet a friend”
    You: “taking a cold shower?” or “David?”
    (Interlude: Get her to fill you in about where she’s crashing and cold showers, or David. If it seems like David is a real obstacle, make a play to meet her girlfriend.)
    You: “I think you look (beautiful, great, fine, sexy (whatever is appropriate)) right now, and I’m hungry. Care to join me? My treat.”

    Nota bene: there is a lot of rhetoric around establishing higher value here. Casually offering to treat is a great way to do that while removing any possible financial barrier she may have. Treating the woman is a time-honored path to getting her dress off. The Alpha/Beta redux happens after that. You can posture your way into bed, but not out.


    • “I’m starting to wonder if any of the commenters here have ever actually had a woman in their life. Seems like most of you come here to post something in between bouts of WoW.”

      My thoughts exactly.


      • Mine as well. That’s probably the reason why they are reading this blog …


      • “… in between bouts of WoW.”

        That’s a gratuitous and stupid comment. Typical of the kind of guy who feels the need to establish his cred by pointing out others’ flaws. It’s a commentary on the insulter more than the insulted. Tell me, what do you think about that dude you know who is preoccupied with the deficiencies surrounding him? Men of quality have little use for pointing out the world’s flaws: that would take him all day since, in comparison, everything is flawed. Men display, aspirants critique.

        Further, this is a blog for observation and analysis. We observe and analyze in this context. It is not an indication of our personality in other contexts, particularly social and sexual ones. If you’re too cool to apply deliberate method to the development of your art, then you’ve landed in the wrong forum. Even the bad analyses are instructive to readers and helpful in the development of the analyst’s skills.

        That said, Destructo (sounds like a WoW handle) makes a good point about capitalizing on the obvious interest she has indicated. Unfortunately he is playing directly into her frame, which she will instinctively retreat from. Even remembering the boyfriend’s name — what was it, Dan, Doug? — shows too much of the eager-puppy.

        “My treat”? Dude, back to basic training.

        Lymmel’s suggestion to involve the magazine is a great hook.

        The only problem with fantasizing the dialogue down to direct quotes (“I’m sure you’ll enjoy the review of sunscreen lotions. You look a little hot.”) is that you overestimate your influence by playing omniscient/omnipotent narrator. Better to imagine negative responses, like lawyers who build anticipated answers into their cross-examination so that they are never caught off guard.


      • Hey,

        I envisioned the “I’m sure you’ll enjoy the review of sunscreen lotions. You look a little hot.” line to be more of a shit-test on her side, like she’d be negging one’s [your] effort to heat up the conversation or negging your sunburn.. Something like that.

        You’re right about the omnipotence. Let’s leave that to Heartiste/Yoda


    • on July 29, 2011 at 9:33 am Artful Dodger

      In my opinion…

      Trying to force your way into a girl’s plans is not a good move. If you ask her what she’s about to do (which I don’t think you should do or care about anyway) and then try to spend more time with her off the bat, I could easily see a cute chick, or any chick for that matter, thinking…

      “Damn, this dude is thirsty. He doesn’t have better sh*t to do.”

      In fact, I don’t have to speculate on what a woman is *thinking* because I hear them say this all the time.

      Plus, the “Care to join me?” thing is not going to work. Even if I were gonna ask her to eat with me, I’d just say, “I’m gonna grab some lunch” and then see if she bites down on the bait. If you say “Care to join me?” and she promptly says, “Thanks, but no thanks,” you just have to sit there and feel stupid. And if there were any other cute girls in the vicinity who overheard the convo, or observed your body language as you’re being rejected, you could pretty much write them off, too.


    • oh come on dude, really?
      You castigate the other guys here for their lame answers, so I think you’re about to drop some real heavy knowledge on a brother.
      Then you kick some shit about telling her she’s pretty and then offering to buy her dinner!!!! The two biggest mistakes you could make in an initial approach!

      Your approach is chivalrous pedestalizing, and it wouldn’t work on most hot women. This is the approach she would’ve seen from the 5,034 previous guys that year.


  84. Appeal to a woman’s vanity.

    “I’m a model photographer. Can I shoot you this weekend?”

    “I’m am artist. Can I draw/paint you this weekend?”

    Of course, you will have to be the real deal. Come through. Know how to use a brush or a camera. But you will get her alone in the studio. Your walls and easels filled with pictures of other beautiful girls. You could talk to her, relax her, get her in an environment where she is comfortable dropping the bitch shield. It will help immeasurably if you can get an article printed in the local newspaper about yourself (gallery showing). Establishes credibility and yourself as a minor celebrity. She will feel double flattered. Somebody important wants to draw her/photograph her. Most important it will make her girlfriend envious. Her bikini bottoms are coming off. Also, if can pull off a French or Italian accent her juices will start flowing for you on your first syllable.


    • Yeah, artsy types (not artist types, that’s another domain entirely). As long as you don’t get overcome by some LTR longing, ya fine, most of them are not quite balanced. They eat it like hungry squirrels, though.

      All I had to do is to get them into my studio. My paintings were semi-decent… I did not have to do much, like chatting or such. They were dropping panties once they reviewed what hanged on the walls. In fact, being not wordy was usually very helpful. I had always a bottle of wine handy, it went well with paintings.


  85. on July 29, 2011 at 7:32 am Finger's Breath

    That “sidelong glance” is clue enough to go for the close. I would do something like this:

    Me: Do you have a [business] card?
    Her: No.
    Me: (pulls out a pen and paper) Make me one.


  86. “That’s it? You’re not going to ask for my phone number?”


  87. I tought the blog was gone…. Phewwww

    Thank god


  88. Most of the responses here make me cringe, I remember why I don’t read the comments anymore… 99% them are from keyboard jockeys.

    …But to stay on topic.

    I’d probably have gone with something like:

    “Hey, put your number in my phone… I may need to borrow your ‘perfect vision’ again.” – Using real air quotes, goes more with my conversational style.

    Run standard vacation text game and casually set a meet up for the following day (or later) depending on what information she gives you.


  89. Conversation is over…time for action.
    whip out my monster dong-since it is massive I have now established myself as the most alpha in her world experience. when she turns away to feign indifference,
    follow her. if she breaks into a run, give chase. knock out any would be saviors and catch her somewhere further down the path. fulfill her deepest, darkest fantasies with my massive member. Leave her afterwards without a goodbye.


  90. on July 29, 2011 at 9:17 am Artful Dodger

    I don’t think you had enough interaction with her for her to even remember your name. Even if you had gotten the number, she probably would’ve been hit on 7 times between when you first met her and the time you first called. She’d likely pick up the phone and say “Who is this again?” That’s the worst. “Shark guy” is not a sufficient response.

    If I were in your shoes, I probably would have hit her with, “Hey, I like to throw parties. You should come to one.” Do the quick exchange and then let her go. Once a girl’s in the “gotta go” mindframe, even if she was somewhat attracted to you, it’s hard to make any progress after that. In my experience, anyway.

    So, my game would be…

    Step One: Invite her and girlfriends to a party I AM HOSTING.

    Step Two: Throw a good party.

    Step Three: Talk to her in limited spurts at the party while preoccupying myself with being the good host and flirting with other girls.

    With hot chicks, I don’t think there’s any other way to do it.


  91. This doesnt really have anything to do with this subject. But as soon as I saw this I had to share.

    Video of guy trying to get his ex gf back. I think one of the commenters captured it correctly with “Fail on so many levels”


  92. “She smiled, or maybe smirked. “Well, I’ve gotta go. It was nice talking about invisible sharks with you.”

    Turns out we have a lot in common.


    I’m also going to be late for dinner.


  93. here’s my take..

    She smiled, or maybe smirked. “Well, I’ve gotta go. It was nice talking about invisible sharks with you.”

    me: yes. like your invisible friends because I cannot see them. anyway, who was that cutie a while ago?

    her: you mean my friend who was here awhile ago?

    me: i really thought you two did not know each other after that sweet hug she gave you (smirks).

    her: haha! sorry but I can’t share information about my friends to strangers.

    me: then let us be friends then. I’m Toby (offers a handshake).

    if she’s cool then she will reply in kind and tell me her name.

    me: nice to meet you, . now would you tell me about your cute friend or you can have fun playing match maker by inviting me to your dinner.


  94. the above post was mine by the way…. arrgghhh..


  95. Hmmm what would neecy say if she were a les being and given the short time time frame to close the deal?

    “im glad you enjoyed that. So what are we going to talk about tomorrow? ” (she may slightly pause and look at you) then say “don’t worry about it now why dont we exchange numbers and we can discuss it later over cocktails?”


  96. “It’s a new age we live in. Men have to look good for their female bosses. Now I know what you ladies feel like, to be treated like a piece of meat.”

    She was friendly because she thought you were gay.


  97. Roisy took his name off this piece of shit eh? I don’t blame him.


  98. The magazine ploy was best here…with fall back asking about the other girl. Easy to implement and hard to screw up.


  99. lol some guys still stuck on an all shark themed conversation..it’s like a bad comedian doing the same joke over and over b/c the audience laughed..

    some want to throw a really good party for her

    others want to make all sorts of future plans

    I ask why? even if she’s a 10 ..a 20.. if she leaves ..what’s the difference to you if you have it going on ..and if you don’t.. well ..probably small chance anyway

    but if she leaves with you somewhere neutral.. she has real interest …

    ..if you want to overcome her fear or hesitancy in this little exchange..she’s way to much work and you come off as starving for a score imo


    • I agree, to keep harping on the shark would be like one of those bad Seinfeld exchanges where they just beat a meme to death until it awkwardly slithers out of the room.

      To express any need to close right then would signal desperation loud and clear.

      Best to maintain a sly indifference, and pique her interest so that she thinks it’s her idea to stay. Let her hamster struggle for an excuse to exchange digits.


  100. hey heartsie, you should also have a prize for the worst game moves. this way, the female commentators will have a real fighting chance at winning something.


    • Buahaha. Sure. Women know much more about what kind of men behaviour they like than most men do. Most men have no game at all. Actually, if you want to find love, you’d better listen to me 🙂 I’m giving advice for free 😀


    • Most guys here are very similar to those women claiming that single mums or aging ladies are sexy …
      = they’ve NO idea what is really sexy :S


  101. so many of the suggestions here are terrible, just shameful for readers of this blog.

    that said, it’s not like i’m a pickup expert and this is a pretty tough challenge so no guarantees on my strategy.

    i’d say ‘she’s kinda cute’ (about the friend) with the slightly mischievous smirk i always call up when talking to girls, and then ‘i’m supposed to be out at [X place] tonight, y’all should stop by after.. [look dismissive, b/c you already forgot whatever plans it was she had].. your thing.’ stay seated, she’ll say some parting language, go back to what you were doing.

    if there isn’t an event you’re actually going to, then just write this one off, but if there is, that’s the only way i could see something materializing.

    a) you haven’t had a chance to establish rapport and she’ll forget about you by tomorrow.
    b) trying to keep her around or get her number will look needy and spoil the fun little thing she had with you.
    c) trying to get her to show up to something with just you will scare her off b/c she doesn’t know you. she’ll think of you as lame for suggesting it and herself as lame if she even considers it. showing up at some bar where you (and maybe other people as clever and fun) will already be is low pressure.
    d) the conversation is over and it’s better to preempt and end it on your terms. she might feel vaguely sad that it ended so abruptly and maybe transfer some of that onto her friend. anything that stirs up her girlbrain.

    the other suggestions that one should keep up with the shark thing or the invisible thing are just awful. really what you need here is to not fuck up the fun little banter you had (fun banter doesn’t tediously hammer a throwaway line into the ground) and exit, on your terms (b/c if it’s on her terms she’ll have accommodated herself to dismissing you) with an opening for seeing her again soon to do something zero-pressure (because she hasn’t had any chance to become more than trivially attached to you). it’s an outside chance that anything will happen, but that’s life. you should look like you accept that and aren’t desperate to force something.


  102. That’s the first time anyone thought that about me – You’ve intriqued her. You’ve gotten into the inner tingle already.

    Don’t wait up for me if I’m late – Subconsciously she wants to be late and she wants you to put two and two together.

    Well, I’ve gotta go. It was nice talking about invisible sharks with you – This is not a putdown. She is trying to leave you with a good last impression.

    something else to note – David isn’t there with her. How come?

    I don’t know what I would say, but you better have replied with something other that bye or bitch.


    • Why reply at all? Take her by the hand, and walk down the beach with her in tow. Wait for her to open any further conversation.


      • I like that.

        Or, say something like, “In 10 years you won’t remember that dinner with friends you’re planning. But, you would remember cancelling it to discuss invisible sharks at a better restaurant with better company.”


  103. “Why the hurry? Sounds like you don’t have anything to do for a while.”

    That opens up a discussion of what she’s doing here, and her larger life.


  104. Dudes (and chicks) this one is so simple.

    He spies the hot, bikini clad chick.

    Him: Do you read Cosmo too?

    Her: (she looks over to check out the man inside the voice – make sure it wasn’t a squeaky one guys).

    Her: Ya, sometimes (what chick doesn’t read the covers at the grocery store?)

    Him: I thought so.

    Her: Why?

    Him: Women who have Brazilians are almost always Cosmo readers?

    Her: How would you know if I do? (closes her legs, but her gina tingling has already started)

    Him: I actually have no clue. (he says smirking sexily – hey it can be done!)

    Her: (she debates whether she tells him or not when her friend arrives)

    Him: You read Cosmo too? (he asks the friend – disarm the other chick with charm and pique her curiosity. Chick #1 will want to be the centre of attention again)

    Chick 1 – Nah, she doesn’t read it. (she’s referring to Brazillians)

    Chick 2 – (realizes she’s not in the game, make some attempt to get her friend to follow her)

    Chick 1 – What are you doing later?

    Cue Bam chicka wow wow music


  105. I like the new ‘shit testing from female posters’ format.


  106. *thinking” what would I say if I were a les being and given the short time time frame to close the deal?

    HER” nice talking about invisible sharks with you.

    “im glad you enjoyed that. So what are we going to talk about tomorrow? ” (she may slightly pause and look at you) then say “don’t worry about it now why dont we exchange numbers and discuss it later over cocktails?”


  107. I WIN! Just hand me my prize now Heartiste! (I want to see the haters get more hateful) 🙂


    • If I ever invite you to a threesome, I think you better leave the other girl to me. Though, you’ll need to step it up a bit if you want first treat.


      • You can have the other chika, i’m all about the injections.

        “Though, you’ll need to step it up a bit if you want first treat”

        PERFECT. I like being the finisher 😉


    • I have a prize for you, it is a cat.

      Where can i send it you?


      • OMG STRAUSS I know you were being a smart ass. but for future reference This is a Grrrreat pick up line to use on a girl if you are trying to get her address. Good stuff. I like it!


      • I suspect most girls posting on this blog have a lack of emotional drama in their lives. Is Gossip Girl no longer on television?


      • Lack of emotional drama is a GOOD THING Killer. Believe me!


  108. on July 29, 2011 at 1:33 pm greatbooksformen GBFM

    The dreaded pickup interruptus. The momentum lost by an inadvertent cockblock and a reference to a possible boyfriend, I pondered whether it was worth reengaging. Maggirl had begun collecting her stuff and shoving it into a gargantuan canvas bag. She glanced sidelong at me for a second, full of sass and flourish, signifying everything.

    She smiled, or maybe smirked. “Well, I’ve gotta go. It was nice talking about invisible sharks with you.”

    lzoozozoozl so i said here’s a visisbile shark too, and i unzipped my pants and whippe dit ouztz zlsolsoslzozlzlz


  109. Say nothing.

    Stare deep into her soul.

    “If you don’t surrender your body to me, I will murder all of your cats.” (just assume she has cats).

    She will appear creeped out and try to walk away at this point. Just know that this is her signifying that she wishes you continue.

    “I’m so tired of all of this rejection,” If you can pull out a razor at this point and wave it at her like you’re threatening her, do so, “I just want it all to end!” Begin to cut yourself and cry.

    Next, tackle her to the ground and proceed to ravish her on the beach. She will probably make it look like simulated rape. This adds to the pleasure.

    -Omega Game (+15 pts if she’s a fatty).


    • Gotta say, this is one of the funniest posts I’ve ever seen on this blog. Interestingly enough, this tactic is so outlandish, it actually carries a higher success rate than Neecy’s beta-nice-guy routine, which is a guaranteed failure.


    • on July 29, 2011 at 2:13 pm Emma the Emo

      LOL! Awesome.



      On a more serious note, many commenters have said that an attempt to close would likely be a total failure because not enough connection has been built by this point, so the only solution is to try to keep her here for more, which some other replies try to do. I would have initially advised to attempt the close anyway, but then again, being open to creative solutions is why I read CR in the first place.


  110. Heartiste, you will love this:

    It’s from a blog about female fat acceptance.


  111. “you too.”

    then go back to what you were doing until another girl enters your vision 5 mins later. you’re at the beach; why covet a particular handful of sand?


    • on July 30, 2011 at 12:03 pm (r)Evoluzione

      Excellent comment, solid frame of abundance. However, not much in the sporting spirit of the post–exercises like this are like a wetstone, gotta keep that blade sharp.


  112. She smiled, or maybe smirked. “Well, I’ve gotta go. It was nice talking about invisible sharks with you.”

    “Yup.” You say, finishing the conversation, as you slowly start to turn away from her. As if in afterthought, you turn back, Columbo style, and say “Oh, one more thing.” She stares at you waiting for you to continue, but you hold eye contact and refuse to make the first move.


    “I need to buy a bikini. Yours is about the style I’d go for. Where did you get that?”

    First women’s magazines, and now bikinis?

    “I owe a friend a replacement.”

    You borrowed her bikini and broke it?

    “Let’s say it was more of a swimming accident. So how do you go about buying a bikini anyway? Do you have to try them on first, or can you just buy it off the rack?”

    Oh, it needs to fit, of course

    “Ya, don’t want any muffin top action going on from a too tight swimsuit. Hey – I just had an idea that could solve BOTH our problems”

    I have a problem?

    “No time to explain. You’ve got to go. Quick, give me your phone number.”


    • That was pretty good. Enjoyed reading the dialogue. Of course, your delivery determines if she continues the conversation or just shrugs and leaves.


      • In for a penny, in for a pound. No guarantees, you won’t know whether it’d work until tried.


    • I vote for you, xsplat 🙂

      This idea is hilarious. It’s silly, but fun. I’d probably give you my phone number at the end, just because I’d be so confused 😀


  113. You: “Ohh wait.. so you didn’t get what I meant?”
    Her: “Hm? What did you mean?”
    You: “Haha how disappointing…”
    Her: “Whaaat was it?”
    You: “Never mind…Maybe you wouldn’t get it”
    Her: “What is it? Tell me!”
    You: “Sit down and I’ll tell you a secret”
    (She sits down)
    You: (Start talking about something unrelated).


  114. In real life I’m not sure if could banter well on a cold pickup. But in writing that dialogue, I noticed a technique. I jumped in, not knowing what I was going to say next. Like in improv comedy, I didn’t script ten moves ahead, but just had to trust that one move would somehow lead to the next.

    First move “One more thing”. In the field you’d have to say that, without having time to think of what that one more thing is. You’d have to trust that SOMETHING would come to mind. You gain an extra second of thought as you stare her down waiting for her to talk first.

    Aging for “I need a bikini”. As I write a lot, I’m confident that my fingers will come up with ideas I didn’t even know that I had. I trust the fingers to find the next step. What was after “I need a bikini, I didn’t yet know by they time I’d typed that. So it must be the same process with improv speach. Just one idea at a time.

    And the same with the last line – “Oh – I just had an idea!” There was no idea. Same as the “One more thing”. There wasn’t one more thing. But being on the spot will arouse your muse, and if not, you can buy time with body language, or simply whip out a distracted non-sequitir.


  115. Really though, this is all academic. Body language, tone and so on is everything. Without being there, impossible to truly gauge interest and so on. What you say will be impacted by how you say it as well.

    Best guess, simply invite her to get a drink with you the following night, assuming it’s a week night. If she’s not into it, move on.


    • You don’t “just” ask a girl to get a drink. She’ll “just” say no. Or flake. You’ve got to build up some spark first.


      • Again, this is where it’s a bit academic. Impossible to tell from the text how she feels towards this hypothetical dude. Attracted to him? Thinks he’s a douche? Who knows.

        My suggestion wasn’t to ask her, but to invite her to join for a drink, subtle but important difference and again, that would only be done if the spark was there. In other words, if she was clearly into it, and it’s impossible to tell from the script. If the spark isn’t there, sure, more words. But this is only going to work if she’s on the fence and *might* want to bang you.

        While I’m on this topic. Sometimes a girl is into you pretty quickly. Some guys over-do it trying to generate a spark, but it’s already there. They end up over-doing it. It’s like over-cooking a meal. If she’s into it, just move it along. No need for elaborate wheels and pulleys from an ACME truck.


  116. Also, to make the dialogue more interesting, I didn’t just say “I need a bikini because I caused an underwater bikini loss incident”.

    Better to leave it minimalist. “I need a bikini”. Leave her time to wonder why, and force her to state her inquiry.

    Then again, not the whole story – just the next morcel. She must inquire before being fed the next niblet.


  117. Pacific Sun?
    What are you doing over here? Where over here are you? If in Van – let me know! You me hang out. 😀


  118. on July 29, 2011 at 5:01 pm greatbooksformen GBFM


    speaking of sharks

    how would u like 2 jump the shark?

    ontotototo my shakr lzozlzlzlzlzlzlz


  119. I agree with what some have noted earlier: several IOIs, and she is engaging with you even though your jokes are retarded ( invisible sharks? really? You read cosmo? If I were a girl I’d run at this point). So she must really like you.

    She is clearly giving you a challenge right at the end. She wants you to confirm your alpha cred and is subconsciously setting up a situation where a beta would fold.

    Most people responding are not actual alphas who get more than enough poontang, and are busy conquering things. So you have to act like you don’t really care and you have better stuff to do. And you have to disavow all that clowny garbage you just spouted.

    Her: “Well, I’ve gotta go. It was nice talking about invisible sharks with you.”

    You: Get up to leave. And you really are leaving. “I was just messing with you. You seem like a fun loving girl.”

    There are a million variants here: “I thought you might still be into bedtime stories.”, “I was wondering if you would go for that story”, “Most blondes would have believed me.”

    You are reframing: she is a child and you are playing with her. Disqualify her as: too young, too innocent, or gullible. She is testing you, and you reframe and disqualify her.

    Now she’s wondering if she looked silly taking you seriously.

    If she replies – either defensively (“Well I didn’t really believe it”), or goes along with the joke somehow, these are all positive signs (“Well you know I am a cosmo girl..”).

    Regardless – you’re busy and you have things to do. You are going to give her one chance to join your exciting alpha lifestyle. That has to be your frame of mind.

    So you say something like: “I have to go. I’ve kept my friends waiting too long.”

    Again lots of options here, but your second key line is that you are busy. “I have to check up on some business before dinner”, “I’ve got to check if our deal closed before my assistant leaves for the day”. Anything that will pique her interest that you are busy and important. What you say here should be related to some actual real business that you do.

    If she is interested she gives you a lifeline right here, gives you an entry to elaborate. “Really what do you do?”, “that sounds interesting” anything like that.

    Ignore her question and ask for her number, or invite her to meet you for drinks.
    “I don’t have time to get into it now, but lets talk later. What’s your number?” or “I was going to pick up a drink before my call, I can tell you about it there. But I only have a few minutes.”

    Key points:

    1. reframe and disqualify her
    2. demonstrate that you are busy
    3. offer her a disinterested opportunity to enter your alpha world.

    She either wants it – or not. Either way you are busy and on your way.


  120. Although she’s packing up, she’s given us an opening with the “It was nice talking about invisible sharks with you” line. It’s not uncommon for people to start packing up to leave, then get further distracted in conversation and wind up not actually leaving for another hour or two.

    So I’d acknowledge she’s leaving (so I don’t look like I’m desperately trying to keep her here,) but still continue the conversation with: “It was nice talking to you too. But when you read in the paper tomorrow about shark attacks, you’re gonna owe me an apology.” Basically a nonchalant farewell with a little joke that she’ll hopefully not be able to resist responding to.

    With a little luck, she’ll take the bait and we’ll continue talking. (By the way, even if she just chuckles and walks away, I’ve still planted a seed for tomorrow. After all, if we run into each other again here, she won’t be able to resist teasing me that she didn’t see any shark attack reports in the paper that morning.)

    But ideally, she does take the bait and conversation will continue today, at which point I engage in conversation as normal. I don’t invite her to join me for a drink, by the way. Nor do I walk over to her. Too soon for any of that, because I want it to appear that she’s the one wanting to continue this conversation.

    Now, this girl has already demonstrated a good sense of humor (she liked the “Now I know what you ladies feel like, to be treated like a piece of meat” line,) so I wouldn’t wait too long to say:

    “It’s a good thing I’m busy tonight.”

    “Why’s that?”

    “Well, you’ve probably been feeling all awkward about wanting to invite me along to dinner with you, but you’re worried about whether your friends would be pissed off if you did. Well, rest easy, because I already have plans.” (I might additionally add, “But thanks anyway,” but a lot of this “in the moment” stuff, so it’s hard to predict what I’d really do or say.)

    If she asked what my other plans were, it would be hard to resist saying “Shark Patrol.” I hate to pass up a good joke, but I don’t want to get too silly. Besides, it’s better that she speculate that my “plans” involve partying with Hef, rather than, even as a joke, hanging out with a bunch of shark nerds with binoculars. In any event, I’d keep these “other plans” very close to the vest. Hopefully get her into the mystery of what I might be doing that evening.

    I’d probably then speculate where Debbie and Pale-Girl might be planning to go for dinner. I’d name some big touristy (or resort) restaurant where all the guys with Hawaiian shirts go. In fact, I’d be sure to emphasize “Hawaiian shirts.” (I’m guessing this is Mexico, not California, by the way.) And of course, I’d let slip that I know a better place, although I’d be careful to not make it sound like an invitation. (It’s always easy to know a “better place,” by the way. Pretty much any hole-in-the-wall place you’ve ever been to, or even just walked by, can be considered a “better place.” It’s all personal taste and how you present it, anyway.)


  121. Alpha, cummon, say it to yourself:

    “Do you have a boyfriend?” is NOT the same as

    “Are you single?”. If you say it right, it’s a keeper – it’s my favorite because I’ve used to get numbers from solid 9s in airpots after less than 30 seconds of convo, and the alpha cred I established just from that is so good she could hardly wait for me to call her.

    The latter is the same as asking does she like to have a good time. The former is asking if she needs an excuse not to talk to you.

    Along with G’s, “got a light” and a few other gems, it’s a favorite. Courtesy of David D.


  122. “have fun with your invisible BFF David”

    proceed to spark up the J as G Manifesto suggested


  123. A couple other notes:

    I wouldn’t mention “David” at all. In fact, I think it’s very unlikely that David is a boyfriend. If he is, then why isn’t he also invited to dinner? Or at the beach now? And apparently out of the picture enough that Pale-Girl hasn’t yet seen him to say hi to him herself? Perhaps David is a boyfriend who’s back home, and not on this trip. Which is even better in my case, what with me being married and all. Shared guilt is so much easier than one-sided guilt, but I’m digressing.

    Also, I found it encouraging where she said to her friend, “I’ll be there around 8:30. Don’t wait up if I’m late.” Maybe it’s just because I’m a cocky bastard, but I wouldn’t be able to help but think that that line was said for my benefit. Letting me know that she doesn’t *have* to be with her friends tonight.


    • Good point about the “don’t wait up.” Maybe the move is to ask her to get cocktails right away.


    • The mention of David is a tricky little shit test indeed.
      I too, would assume that there is only a 50/50 chance he is any romantic interest. It sounds like something the other girl would say just to mess me up and cockblock, even if David was her puppy dog or pet hamster.

      While it is obvious that you wouldn’t want to acknowledge David as a threat, there remains a subtle choice.

      If you swat him aside and do not mention him at all, you risk being too hamfisted with your signal that he doesn’t threaten you. It may seem a little over the top unless you really pulled off the tone and body language to show you were 100% at ease.

      My reaction was to acknowledge David, but in a teasing way. Facial expression is very important. Shit-eating grin. The idea was to let her know that I know that David may very well be a shit test. I will act like I’m going to step in it, but deftly sidestep at the last moment. This exhibits a higher level of social savvy. Or maybe I’m reading waaaay too much into it!


      • The David thing is a mystery and she knows it. It gives her a certain amount of power . . . only if I respond to it.

        If I don’t respond, then I have the power, because she’s going to wonder why the hell I haven’t asked who David is? “Golly, my pale faced friend mentioned David, but this guy doesn’t seem to care. Sure, David is just my pet goldfish, but he doesn’t know that! So why isn’t he asking me who David is? Isn’t he worried I might have a boyfriend? Is he not interested in me? Wait . . . maybe he’s just making conversation while he waits for *his* girlfriend. What’s his deal???”

        On the flipside, if I do mention David, even in a humorous or cocky way, I’ve tipped my hand about my intentions. And worse, I’ve let her know that I’m assuming David is her boyfriend. Which *really* gives her the upper hand here. Given that she’s sharp-witted enough to come up with that “imaginary sharks” line, there’s no way that she’s going to just tell me that David is just her brother. Not yet, at least. Not when she can have a little fun with me first. She’s gonna milk this one and I’m gonna look like the idiot trying to figure out who David really is.

        That’s bad, because I’m supposed to tease her, not the other way around.

        Besides, this all takes place at what I assume is a vacation or resort setting. “What happens in Cabo stays in Cabo,” or something like that. So whether David is a boyfriend or not is almost irrelevant here. So there’s no point making *myself* look like the prude of the party who starts talking about boyfriends back home.


  124. Man some of this is bad. If you are new to pickup, follow the golden rule, much like doctors. First do no harm. First, do not be creepy. Offering to paint her, photograph, her, go bikini shopping with her are not going to work in general. It’s way too much too soon. You will look creepy. (Because you are creepy, learn some social calibration Dungeon Masters).

    Second, don’t try to match wit for wit with Roissy, the newbs are going to try to and the girl will hear the gears grinding in their head. Effortless wit comes with relaxation and years of practice. This isn’t a game of find the magic witty words that will unlock the key.

    Mystery would probably say you have no comfort stage yet, so any parlay into a non-creepy suggestion such as meeting there tomorrow to look for sharks, coffee, drinks, etc is your best high percentage bet.


  125. “Nice to meet you too.

    “One more thing, what are you doing later tonight?”


    “Cool. Want to come back to my room later?”

    Apocalypse. Hail Mary.


  126. Chicks dig jerks, Star Wars edition:
    Maybe now nerds will get it.


  127. H, nice to see you support the Wendi Deng Empire.


  128. hey Heartiste,

    here’s another take on the passing time and the girls.

    the girl in the right at this 1998 Playboy cover turned into this fat disaster (right in the picture):


    she used to date Brazilian soccer star Ronaldo at his peak (late 1990s), then he dumped her and now she’s a hippo hooker.


  129. I would make the sharks comment the starting point.

    “Really? Well, there’s lots of other invisible animals we can talk about sometime. There’s a whole zoo of ’em right over there (point to the middle of nowhere) we could visit. Do you have a Facebook?”

    I would not assume David is her boyfriend, but a mutual friend. It’s not to often that a girl’s friends tell their friend to say hi to their boyfriend. Just seems a little weird to do that to me, unless they’re all really good friends or something. Besides, you can’t create mental excuses NOT to ask a girl for her number, and assuming, without proof, that David is a boyfriend, would be an ass-umption. The worst she can say is no. No biggie. I’m practically immune to getting a no or “I have a BF” by now – not that I sarge everything in sight, but I mean, that’s life, you can’t get 100% and not every girl is attracted to you (and if she’s not, she’s doing you a favor by saying no). Additionally, “I have a BF” is not a rejection, it’s just honesty and when you have a GF you’ll find yourself telling girls you have a GF too. Unless it’s a lie, but who wants to date a liar?

    I always ask for a Facebook, because I like to see her info page and screen her. If she is the kind of girl I want to date, I talk to her in chat at least a few days after I added her and engage in witty banter for 15-20 minutes. If she never logs on, I send her a FB message and ask her out. Lastly, if she says she does not have a FB, I ask her if she has a cellphone – although in some cases they’ll just say “I don’t have one, but you can have my cell” anyway.


  130. It sounds like it is still on because of her last bratty comment.

    could neg; she obv was attracted by that. either way i’d say a neutral farewell. show you live in abundance.

    she becomes enamored with your comment/indifference and asks for name/number/ or simply invites you out.

    be fine with it. have her call latter if shes GOT to leave. if she decides to hang around then continue to eat/drink your stuff and instant date.

    TBH there are infinite possibilities i’m not going through. Whether it be now or the party you go to later make her chase, qualify, escalate, give her an alternative to being with the big loser david, bang.

    Now what is this movie i’ll be getting ticks for?


  131. There was nothing inadvertent about that cockblock


  132. “Hey, there it is again!”

    “What, you are so lying.”

    “This is like shark week on national geographic.”

    “Liar. ok i’m leaving.”

    “Here, *take her hand and put your phone in it* give me your number and I’ll send you a picture next time I see one.”

    “Haha…you’re nuts.” *puts in number*

    At this point I would say “I’m CH,” intiate kino again with a handshake worth a thousand words and super strong eye contact…then part ways.

    Lots of ways you can play it once you have her digits, some kino, and some eye contact imo.


  133. Speaking of “test of your Game”, one thing that had always tripped me up was when women made self-deprecating comments about their own looks. It’s a sneaky shit-test. So several months ago I asked R. how to respond to that. He suggested saying back to the woman “have you always been this vain?”

    I was talking wiht a woman at work today, who made such a self-deprecating comment. For a moment I went blank — what the fuck do you say back to that — and then I recalled that exchange. So I said “have you always been this vain” in response, and her eyes lit up. Excellent.


    • Great idea! I’m sure she really felt a lot better!


    • on July 30, 2011 at 3:01 am The Shocker

      The correct answer is:

      “Well, girl, I like you, period. But when you had that short hair before.. mm.”


    • I think that is a good response. We are vain and to be called out on it even when we think we are not being vain (but really are) would surprise us in a good way. It is the kind of teasing we like, not mean spirited, but still puts us in our place.


      • To agree with her or say something insulting about her appearance is too mean and she’ll get angry. To call her vain will probably make her laugh since it’s true.


  134. Pause, completely cool, slowly turn, get up and kiss the fuck out of her.

    This girl is bold, on top of her shit, and playing in the big leagues. To say anything else would continue her joking/banter frame (she wins.) It’s time to take charge and put the encounter on your terms. She’ll need the shower after this brazen move moistens her up.


    • Drub, 35 years ago, yes. Or if the beach is near Burgas, Bulgaria. Not so sure about US coastline. They now have all sorts of weird ideas in their purdy lil’ heads. You’d have to disregard the banter and watch her body lingo very carefully for a tell.


  135. I’d offer a hand to help her get up, if I sense some compliance there I’d try to get her to go with me on a little ‘date’, right then.

    I suck at lines, I could write something here after thinking about it for 10 minutes, but it wouldn’t be what I would ACTUALLY say, which would be totally random, balls to the wall, and would probably creep her out. probably using the ‘cold water’ cue to make the idea of drinks with me more appealing by comparison.


  136. Quick to judge that David is a “boyfriend” when in fact it could be that girls brother. You never know


  137. Off topic: mixed race women to marry neo-nazi murderer prisoner. “He’s really a kind-hearted person.”



  138. Women’s magazines feature clothes without women. Men’s magazines feature women without clothes. You blew it at that point. No need to continue.


  139. Glad this blog is alive.


  140. While I think this post provides an interesting test scenario, I have a few problems with it.

    1. Why did she come sit down in the first place if she were only going to stay 5-10 minutes?

    2. The friend leaves, and then slightly later, magazinegirl goes to leave. If she were going to leave her stuff at her friend’s apt, wouldn’t she have left with the friend?

    3. Who would this David be that Maggirl would 1) see him before going to her friend’s house but 2) not leave her stuff there and 3) not invite him along to dinner? Seems like the friend assumes Maggirl is going to see David before dinner but that David won’t be coming to dinner. This implies that Maggirl might be staying with David (in which case why not leave her stuff there/shower). It’s kind of a bizarre exchange logically.

    4. The “don’t wait up if I’m late” is a little strange since Maggirl doesn’t know where the dinner is going to be. You would think she would ask her friend where if only out of politeness so that she could have said, “ok, and I’ll try to catch up with you there if I’m late” or something like that.


  141. Balzac gets my vote for best response. Reposting his key points:

    “1. reframe and disqualify her
    2. demonstrate that you are busy
    3. offer her a disinterested opportunity to enter your alpha world.

    She either wants it – or not. Either way you are busy and on your way.”

    If you do this smoothly and naturally, you reclaim the upper hand in the encounter, thus putting yourself back in a relaxed, aloof state (where you care, but not too much) and you keep the encounter casual and fun. This also subtley shifts the higher value to you and back away from her–you’re just a friendly, fun-loving guy who enjoys light (and even goofy) flirting with women, and would thus like to see her again when you can fit her into your busy “alpha” lifestyle.

    Disagree with Balzac, though, that Heartiste’s lines were “clowny garbage.” To me, if he said them with a good-natured smirk on his face, they’re pretty funny and should work well on a girl who has any sense of humor and pleasantness about her.

    Banter like that can really break the ice. But again, it’s crucial HOW you say it. That makes the difference between creepy maybe gay guy and good-naturedly cocky guy who enjoys light teasing, somewhat screwball convo.


    • I might have been a little harsh about calling it ‘clowny garbage’. You’re clearly being silly. – and hey – it got you this far.

      But if you say things right, she will be stuffing things into her bag quickly so she can catch up with you as you are walking away…. Mr. Bond.


  142. For the heartiste writers, the askmen survey just came out with over 70,000 men interviewed on dating/sex. I am sure that you can draw some pretty insightful conclusions from the results.



  143. Jesus, it’s like Game circa 2004 in here.

    1. Why did she come sit down in the first place if she were only going to stay 5-10 minutes?

    Because she wants his cock. She sits by him but won’t open him because she’s a hot alpha chick and she’s giving him a chance to have the balls to open her.

    2. The friend leaves, and then slightly later, magazinegirl goes to leave. If she were going to leave her stuff at her friend’s apt, wouldn’t she have left with the friend?

    Because she wants his cock. She stayed behind so he could at the least grab her number.

    3. Who would this David be that Maggirl would 1) see him before going to her friend’s house but 2) not leave her stuff there and 3) not invite him along to dinner?

    Who the fuck cares who David is? Maggirl clearly doesn’t. He’s the guy that’s totally irrelevant. Her friend tried to toss a “remember your boyfriend” cockblock in to fuck with him but Maggirl herself blew it off. Because she wants his cock.

    4. The “don’t wait up if I’m late” is a little strange since Maggirl doesn’t know where the dinner is going to be. You would think she would ask her friend where if only out of politeness so that she could have said, “ok, and I’ll try to catch up with you there if I’m late” or something like that.

    That’s because they were having a girl-code conversation. Cockblock was saying “Here’s your chance to come with me to escape this guy if he’s creepy” and Maggirl was saying “It’s cool, I want this guy’s cock and I’m giving him a chance, go on ahead without me” and Cockblock threw in a last “Just don’t forget about your boyfriend!” because she knows Maggirl does what she wants and all she can do is try to guilt her a bit and make it akward for the guy.

    Anyway, in response to what to do: There’s not enough comfort for a kiss at this point since she’s all alpha and still testing you, but there’s enough for a number for sure, and possibly a small insta-date (she probably won’t blow her friends off entirely, but she’ll give you some time to built more comfort with her).

    If you want the number, you just tell her “So give me your number and we’ll go shark hunting by moonlight after your dinner.” as you pull out your phone. Text her flirty but not too sexual during her dinner so she’ll meet up without feeling like she’s admitting she wants sex, and escalate in person. David and the cockblock chick might fuck it up though, so an insta-date would be better.

    For an insta-date just tell her you’ll walk her to her car so she doesn’t get eaten by the invisible sharks. Once her shit is tossed in the car so she doesn’t have to lug it around and you’ve built a little more comfort, push for the insta-date and make her late for dinner.

    Easy peasy.


    • 1. So you’re basically saying that she liked the way he looked and wanted him and so sat down near him, though never looked at him. Possible, but not the most likely situation (i.e. she just sat down).

      2. She wants his cock, but then she leaves, when there is no pressing reason to do so?

      3. We have no indication what she thinks about David one way or the other. My point, in all these notes, was to say that the story didn’t flow that logically. If the friend assumed she were going back to see David, why would she tell her to leave her stuff at the friend’s house? What you’re basically saying is that the friend intuited from some random guy being in the vicinity that her friend was planning on sleeping with him. Seems like a real stretch.

      4. That’s a pretty perceptive friend you’ve constructed. Or she thinks her friend’s a slut who’s likely to sleep with any guy who happens to be nearby. My point was that the interaction doesn’t seem realistic. Maybe it’s been shortened for blog format, but I think friends who are planning on going out to dinner later might exchange a bit more info than this.

      Finally, the shark thing was gay and not funny. Ok as a random thing to get her attention, but pressing it just seems lame and makes the guy come off like he thinks his lame jokes are way funnier than anyone else.


      • 1) Realistically she probably just happened to sit down, but there’s no reason not to assume she’s interested. If your default assumptions are either “She’s into me and sat near me hoping I’ll make her day” or “She’s not into me and she’s just sitting there by chance”, which one do you think extremely confident alpha males who get laid a lot default to?

        2) What do you expect her to do? Ask him to whip it out? She could have told her friend “Wait for me to pack my stuff up and I’ll come with you.” But she didn’t, she let her friend leave and then lingered. That’s the cue, that’s the open window for him to make his move. That’s her saying “I can’t SAY I want your cock, but I hope you pick up on my super secret girl signals that I do and you don’t let me get away without making some kind of move on me so we can see eachother again.”

        3) She doesn’t think anything of David because she didn’t mention him, even after her friend did. That means he’s not relevant. Girls with boyfriends they’re stringing along or husbands who don’t fuck them right do this all the time. The guy just isn’t a factor, that’s why the “So what would David think about you–” isn’t the best method because if he IS a boyfriend then she knows you know she has a BF and is cheating on him and might judge her. If you treat it like you didn’t hear his name or like you assume he’s her brother or cousin, she can feel safe having sex with you and know you aren’t judging her.

        You have to quit listening to the words women say. As a guy, this is a hard habit to break because guys communicate with logical words so we weren’t really trained to read body language and tone of voice and implied meanings (thus the whole men VS women communication issues every comedian has a million jokes about). Women, on the other hand, learned that stuff at an early age and have “trained” in it their whole lives. That’s why yes, she CAN tell when her friend wants to fuck a random stranger. Go to a nightclub on any given night and flirt with sets of girls or do some people-watching and you’ll see this in action. How do you think the “Mother Hen” knows when to pull her friend away from a guy at the bar? She can tell when her friend is attracted and horny and she’s there to prevent that, usually by dragging them off “to go to the bathroom”.

        PUAs learn to read this stuff the way women read it. That’s why this doesn’t make sense to you and seems like a stretch, but to a PUA it’s like a blinking neon sign above her head.

        4) The dinner is irrelevant. There might not even be a dinner, Maggirl might already know there’s a dinner and where it is, they have phones and can txt or call eachother for details on the dinner later. Quit focusing on the fact that there’s a dinner. The reason she stood between him and Maggirl was to try to block him out with her body language, the dinner thing was just her doing the same as a friend calling you on a blind date with a “bail out” phonecall pretend emergency, Maggirl told her to fuck off and because the friend is beta to Maggirl she knew to go away (whereas a really alpha Mother Hen would physically drag a beta girl away).

        I’m not a big fan of the shark thing either, but if SHE rolls with the role-play with her “Nice talking to you about invisible sharks” (which is actually her giving him a little shit for talking about something so lame in the first place, alpha communication stuff here), then it’s just appropriate social vibing to continue with it and set up a meet to “shark hunt”. If she had just said “it was nice talking to you” he could just say “it’s even nicer walking down the beach with me after a dinner with your friends, what’s your number?” and ditch the shark thing.


      • “her “Nice talking to you about invisible sharks” (which is actually her giving him a little shit for talking about something so lame in the first place, alpha communication stuff here)”

        Just for clarification: She knows it’s lame, but she also knows that HE knows it was lame and that he won’t take it personal if she ribs him about it. This is how two super-confident people interact, like two alpha males who give eachother shit about everything…they know the other guy can handle it and dish it right back. She’s not being mean, she’s flirting.


      • Actually, your points remind me of Krauser day game, just keep plowing. Skip the shark and start riffing on the giant bag, “I thought you’d be camping out here for the next couple of days, I was going to call security to let them know they got a what kind of intruder they got sleeping over.” Who knows, maybe she sat down near him for no real reason, which is likely, as most guys are nonentities.


  144. Tough one. I would go like this :

    “You’re not gonna walk away like that, actually you don’t wanna walk away like that.
    – Oh yeah? why is that?
    – I should be the one asking why, but first, you have to sit down. I sense that our conversation shouldn’t end right now
    (best case scenario)
    – Ooo…kay…
    – Blablabla (i would quickly settle the matters about sharks and magazines, and start an emotional conversation)

    (worst case)
    – Our conversation is already over. I have to go.
    – OK. Bye (bitch!)”

    Next time, please secure your password, or warn us if you’re gonna change the url. I was becoming too sentimental and i needed my fix of hate/truth: not finding your blog was like having my (hypothetical) dealer locked up.


  145. on July 30, 2011 at 6:59 pm Young Padawan

    the first thing that came to my head was, “wow that is the largest beach bag i’ve ever seen. that must weigh a ton. are you a powerlifter?”

    from there you could go in many directions but the point is to give her an excuse to take her time to leave. you could make fun of items in the bag , guess what’s inside, or make her flex and escalate kino.

    she may ask you to help carry it to her next destination, and it gives you a good way to decline. “no but i’ll walk with you i’ve got to see this. so impressed right now.”


  146. As she walks away:

    “Can I borrow that magazine? I swear I’ll give it back tomorrow night.”


  147. I’ve been thinking about this, about this kind of cold approach in general. The thing is if a girl is actually pretty, she’s getting hit on all the time. Every cold approach to a pretty girl is necessarily a little goofy. The whole context is goofy: goofiness is expected.

    So it doesn’t really matter what you say *first.* It’s what you say and convey *at the end* that matters. All of this struggling to think of some witty banter is beside the point. She’s walking away; and no, you’re not f’ing her that night. Don’t worry about that. If you’re that desperate for a piece she’s gonna smell it all over you.

    You have to leave her with the idea that you’re perfectly alright with never seeing her again – but you enjoyed the encounter for what it was. I’ve been in this general situation often – and what’s sometimes worked is a sort of pleasant and playful shrugging, saying, essentially: I’ll see here you here again. And you say this while turning away, with a bit of a smile.

    You can let her go. If you ever see her again you go in for the kill. Of course.

    That said. You want a line for a girl that’s walking away? You say: “hey, I’m content. I get to see your ass walking away and that’s all I really wanted.” 😉


  148. on July 31, 2011 at 9:37 am Anonymous Jew

    Look like you’re thinking hard about something, then, looking off into some space behind her:
    “Hey guess what I just realized? Your friend kinda reminds me of Megan Fox… Y’know, pale, black hair…” and trail off.
    Then look back at her and say:
    “Oh but I guess you could be, let’s say Leighton Meester? You know, you’re cuter but she’s sexier.”


  149. Don’t enter her frame. Just give a roguish grin and say “So, your friend’s hot. She single?”


  150. sweep the leg!


  151. on July 31, 2011 at 2:43 pm NYCBachelor

    Let’s assume for the sake of argument that your looks are average- this means that this entire interaction is going to come down to your game; your looks or attire (assuming you were probably in swim suit/sandles if you’re sun bathing) aren’t going to carry you through in this situation.

    Very little Game has been run at this point in the interaction, all you’ve gotten so far is the opener and a good neg- everything else is going to have been the delivery- body language and attitude; which were ideally alpha and cocky funny respectively.

    While this puts you heads and tails above most men that hit on a woman, it isn’t really enough to make you memorable or to make her reinvest down the line- you’re just an odd beach conversation at this point- which lasted all of 30 seconds. You can go for the number immediately- but the probability of a flake is high at this point- however, the time is ticking if you can’t think of any clever game manuevers and things to say then just go for it and ask the number- you might luck out; you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take and a quick unaimed slap shot might get you between the goal posts.

    However, since this site is focused on teaching proper game lets put aside the time constraint that the auther was under when she was packing her bags- and ask; what, theroretically speaking, is the proper way to game her at this point?

    The relative value between you and her and was somewhat equalized by your neg which put her in a qualifying frame- but that was ruined by the friend and the impending dinner plans. Her frame of mind has changed from qualifiying to why she isn’t a nerd to gathering things to leave to get ready for dinner.

    Given that, you need to change her frame of mind from leaving to staying.

    Your first option- Apocolypse game. Sounds like your on vacation- who gives a shit what anyone around you thinks- you’ll never see them again anyway.


    You: So…. you’ve got alot of time till 8:30…. how about I take to my room upstairs….. (smirk, look over, and hold………..) and eat your pussy….


    Panties flood with juice followed by heavy hamster cardio

    rejection, but maybe enough of a window to re-engage with some hardcore cocky-funny/asshole game

    Second option is to simply state a non-sequitor and push into a DHV story. Might work if you captivate her attention with it well- but she’s in the frame of mind of leaving- so she may disengage if you can’t hook her early with the story.

    You: Funny thing about sharks, they always remind me of this time I saved these two French chicks from drug runners.


    Likely outcome: Girl listens for 30 seconds but then interrupts saying she needs to go. Why? Because that was her frame of mind when you started the story, you need a segway to break that frame to proceed into the story. So- what to do?

    Option three- break her frame of leaving by disarming her mental objections to leaving and then proceed to game.

    (assuming that since she was still sunbathing that its early/late afternoon
    at the latest)

    You: A cold shower and a late dinner, sounds like you really know how to have fun on vacation. (smirk)

    Her: blah blah… being a good friend… blah blah

    You: Don’t be silly, you’ve got hours to get ready, the sun is shining……. the weathar is perfect. Sit…….. (procced to DHV with story about last time you were in a place like this)

    Now, with all that said. What would I likely have done in this situation?

    Its easy to make yourself sounds suave and clever behind a keyboard when you have pleanty of time to think- but when you’re sitting there with seconds to decide on what to say its much more difficult. In fact, you don’t even have time to think; you’re simply going to revert to habit. Whatever your default close is, you’re probably going to run it at this point. In my case, I tend to run direct game- I would probably go for the insta-date in this situation as I doubt I could think of something instantly clever to think of to get her to stay via indirect game. True, the chance of success is low, given the short duration of the interaction, but rejection is better then regret.

    Me: You’ve got some time before nine, pleanty of time to get ready. Lets get a drink. You can run along and meet your girls after.


    • Great analysis…but I see the problem as boxing yourself in.

      Rejection is better than regret….except when you should always be finding a way to create mystery.

      I think the clue in this “test” is the fact that her friend invites bikini girl to drop her stuff off at her place suggesting she’s from out of town, visiting, or otherwise not from nearby. That opens the door to some possible takeaway later on.

      But in this immediate situation, I think going for the number is too zero-sum….better to be more casual with the email.

      It seems less needy, less desperate, more “whatever”….if you reply great….but it still gives you the control of writing first.


  152. You jump up yell at her “I AM THE SHARK NOMNOMNOM” she goes into gigglepuss mode and sex ensues on the sidewalk, end.


  153. Her response is a gateway to agree & amplify. The last thing you’d want to do is react defensively, and A&A gives you two possible results: 1. You continue the conversation, or 2. You disqualify her shit test by conveying your aloofness and disregard for her jab.

    “Well, I’ve gotta go. It was nice talking about invisible sharks with you.”

    “Invisible sharks? You haven’t been here long enough to see the mermaids.”


  154. Not completely the same….but a good example of negs, how to use distraction, push-pull and how not to be afraid to lose the girl…


  155. on August 1, 2011 at 2:09 pm Booch Paradise

    Let out a chuckle while not completely facing her and say something like “Man you are practically fleeing this conversation.” Delivered so that it is clear that her leaving does not bother you but amuses you. When she qualifies stating that she did enjoy talking to you then make her prove it by giving her number.


  156. This is what you do:

    Her: Nice talking about invisible sharks
    You: Hey, are those nails real?

    Then, when she’s looking at her nails, you can check how she’s holding them, and that’s how you’ll know if she’s a keeper.


  157. […] wit: I noticed a lot of commenters to this post, in describing how they would continue gaming bikini-clad girl, felt it necessary to revisit the […]


  158. I think most guys are over thinking this. The salient points are that she’s hot, she’s into you. Who cares if she has a boyfriend or 5, plans for the evening or not… Geez!

    Here’s my take on it:

    MagGirl: “Well, I’ve gotta go. It was nice talking about invisible sharks with you.”
    ME: (stand up and step beside her, holding out hand) “Farewell…”
    ME: (then lean in giving her a 1-2 Euro-style peck on both cheeks, making sure to graze her cheeks with my afternoon stubble, and giving her a chance to breathe in my musky high-T scent) “I’m going to take a dip in the water” (solid gaze for a few seconds)
    ME: (release her hand from my strong grip, turn immediately and walk purposely towards the water)
    MagGirl: (after 7 or 8 steps) “Wait…”
    ME: (keep walking)
    MagGirl: (scampering after me) “Wait up!”
    ME: (when she reaches me, stop and say with a wide grin) “What took you so long!”
    MagGirl: “Hey…” (rabbit punch to my side)
    ME: “Time to feed those sharks!” (sweep her up over my shoulder and run into the surf, flinging us both into the waves)
    MagGirl: (gasping for breath) “OMG, your crazy!!!
    ME: (sly grin, touch her hair lightly)

    We make-out in the surf, and I invite her back to my place, to a working shower. While she’s drying off, with the door half ajar, I call in
    ME: “I’ve got a big secret to tell you”
    MagGirl: What?”
    ME: “I’m not like other guys… I’m very well hung” (shove 8″ past the open door)
    MagGirl: “Haha, nothing I can’t handle!”
    ME: “Fine, I’ll come upstairs then…”


  159. on August 3, 2011 at 12:18 am Alpha Fuck Stud

    Initiate rape sequence


  160. ME: I would look at her straight in the eyes and say with slight sarcasm “are you trying to be cute? You know not all the stuff you read in that magazine works!”

    HER: Bla bla bla bla

    ME: Hmmm, interesting. It’s worse than I thought. Sounds like you can use my help, give me your phone number and if you are nicer to me next time, I will teach you a thing or two on how to talk to sexy guys.

    If she says anything like “I have a BF”. I would then say, “Ah, the David fellow. You can bring the young man along, maybe I’ll teach him a thing or two as well”.

    At this point, 50/50 you will get the number and when you call text her a few days later, I think there will be a high chance of flaking… But considering the short pickup time, I think it is the best that can be done… This type of shit works all the time for me.


  161. So how did it play out? Close the open loop.


  162. […] answer to this what-would-you-do-if challenge, my fingers rose ready to the keyboard […]


  163. […] answer to this what-would-you-do-if challenge, my fingers rose ready to the keyboard […]


  164. on August 13, 2011 at 8:37 pm ptptptptptbitches

    say: “pity you were summoned, I was going to go take a closer look in my boat”

    if this halts her march, ask her if she wants to go for a walk.

    you can break it to her later that you don’t have a boat


  165. So what was the answer to this one? I haven’t seen the “judging”…


  166. Did I miss the judging post?? Was waiting.