Your Girlfriend Is Flirting With Your Best Friend. What Now?

Joe Mama writes:

Wanted to get your thoughts on: getting vibes that your gf and best buddy have sexual tension between them.

It’s almost as if they’d be a better fit for each other, it’s fucking with my mojo.

My working philosophy in matters of suspicions of cheating, or suspicions of potential cheating, is to go with your gut. If you feel a chest-tightening discomfort that a sexual vibe may be happening between your GF and your best friend, odds are pretty good it is happening.

There’s a reason many societies attempt to limit the exposure of wives to too many single men. Women’s hypergamy and sexuality don’t just turn off the moment a marital contract is signed, or a meaningful eye-gaze discussing dating exclusivity is shared. If your male friends are very alpha, very charming, and/or very flirtatious, especially relative to your own talents, then you are staring into the maw of an excited vagina aroused by the scent of cock in the water.

Alpha male friends (AMF) can be more fearsome sexual market competitors than alpha male strangers (AMOG). The comfort of acquaintance pacifies the female urge to caution, and an alpha male friend whose bond of loyalty is weak will pose a bigger threat than some random guy hitting on your girlfriend. A simulacrum of familiarity coupled with a constant state of self-enforced denial is rocket fuel for female fantasy.

Plus, think back to the ancestral environment, and realize that the norm for much of human history has been small tribes interacting only occasionally with outside tribes. In this environment, the men that women would most likely cheat with would know on some personal level the male partners of such women.

The wickedness of double disloyalty — from both your girlfriend and your best friend — can rend a man’s soul. I don’t have hard numbers at hand on the frequency of female cheating with males unknown to her primary partner versus males known to her primary partner, but I’d bet the latter happens just as often as the former.

Women, because they are just as duplicitous as men in their desire to cover their cheating tracks, will hesitate to get involved in any affair that has a high risk of exposing them. Ironically, affairs with male buddies can sometimes have a lower exposure risk than affairs with outside males, or at least be perceived as lower risk, because the male buddy has just as much incentive as the woman to keep a lid on things. A woman knows her boyfriend’s male friends better than she will know a dude she met on the train, and she understands that where incentives align, the particulars of affairs are more manageable.

Working against this exposure limiting incentive is the male friend who secretly loves your girlfriend, and will blow things up if he thinks an affair with her signals something deeper. For that reason, women are wary of trysts with male friends who don’t honor, as revealed through his professed feelings of love and yearning, the woman’s relationship with her boyfriend or husband.

Most times, women will resist the temptation of the alpha male friend. A woman who has invested much in a relationship will think twice before assuming a high risk cuckold maneuver that might destroy her investment. But it only takes one time, one magical night of heedless tingle, for years of virtue to dry up and blow away like tumbleweed. And for good reason: that one night could mean eighteen years of indentured servitude to a genetic impostor.

If there is a hint of sexual tension between your girlfriend and your best friend, you have to make a clear-eyed reappraisal of your relationship. Asking a few questions to yourself is a start.

1. Is her flirting harmless?

You can usually tell when a woman’s flirting is the playful self-boosting variety rather than the charged erotic variety. Women, and particularly good-looking women (one of life’s paradoxes), like to be reminded of their desirability, and flirting with other men is one way they fulfill that need. If it’s just an itch being scratched by a party girl poser, you’ll know by how lazily she flirts in front of you and by how quickly she rescinds her offer of flesh to rush back into your arms. If it’s genuine attraction, and the two of them are in your company, her contorted face will tell of her burgeoning guilt. A woman will not try to hide something of no consequence.

2. Is her flirting a jealousy ploy?

If it’s obvious she’s trying to make you jealous, that’s generally a good thing. It means she still loves you, but isn’t getting what she considers enough signs of commitment from you. I actually love it when girlfriends lamely and transparently flirt with other men in front of me, because it provides such a convenient way to lord my peen-cred over them by ambushing them with their own ham-fisted efforts.

3. Is she touching your friend, or herself, a lot?

It’s hard for a woman to consciously control her touch instinct in the presence of a man she desires. If you catch your GF placing her hand on your best friend’s forearm or shoulder more than once, you should be concerned. Same goes if she’s stroking her hair or caressing her face with her hands when talking with him.

4. Is she asking a few too many questions about your best friend?

This is a major tell. Doubly so if she tries to form her questions so that they sound like innocuous, spontaneous inquiries. “Hey, remember when you were telling me about Svengard’s trip to Italy? When’s he coming back? I bet he’d love to tell you all about it.”

5. Is she always offering to arrange co-ed events or nights out with your friends?

She wants to see him, but needs the cover of mixed company.

6. Are you having problems in your relationship?

Any sort of beta backsliding, or drifting apart, will push a girlfriend or wife into serious contemplation of competing market options. Luckily, you have an early warning sign at your disposal: the frequency and timing of sex. Be very wary if she stops fucking you during the ovulation part of her cycle.

If, after a careful answering of the above questions, you determine that the sexual chemistry you perceive between your girlfriend and your best friend is real, you have a number of choices.

– Call her out on it.

“I notice you flirt a lot with Tertullian. You think I don’t notice it? If we’re having problems, maybe we should part ways.”

– Tease her in front of him.

“Jesus, you’re blatant. You’re making Tiberius uncomfortable. I thought I was dating a nun, not a stripper.”

– AMOG your best friend.

“Hey, man, I think she’s into a threesome with you and me. I figure your pretty comfortable with a little accidental sword fighting.”

– Fuck with her head.

“Honey, I think Anfernee wants to sleep with you. It’s so obvious. I’m… sure you’ve noticed it.”

– Agree and amplify.

“Babe, the next time you flirt with Brantworth, try leaning in more, and licking your lips. I don’t think he’s getting the message.”

– Ignore it.

An aloof attitude won’t save your hide every time. You might successfully bluff her and she’ll run back to you to re-earn your love, or your inaction might seal your cuckolded fate. Much depends on the reactiveness of the chemistry your GF has with your best bud.

– Dump her.

Sexual chemistry is a powerful force. If you sense her infidelity is inevitable, get the jump on it and spare yourself the humiliation. If you’re married, make sure to collect evidence of her cheating before pulling the plug. You’ll need all the leverage you can get in divorce court.

Generally speaking, women will not cheat with your best friends unless one or both of the following criteria are met:

Your friend is significantly higher value than you are.

Sadly, female hypergamy can only be chained so long as it doesn’t grow too strong in the presence of a much higher value male. Your beloved will jump the bones of a Hollywood celebrity if given a real chance for it, no matter how much she sincerely loves you. And I suspect a lot of you tradcon loyal hubbies with visions of beatific virtue dancing in your heads would jam the hammer in Emma Stone’s toolbox if she backed up into you and breathlessly whispered her longing for your Biblical cock.

You have lost value within your relationship.

Relationships, barring compensatory game, tend to betafy even the rock hardest men. Time and familiarity and fairly predictable sex enervate the virile masculine essence.

Maxim #67: A man who has stopped seducing new women is a man who is becoming less seductive to his main woman.

When you become more beta, you are, in practice, raising the value of every other man your girlfriend or wife meets. Your best buddy Lil’ Petey starts to seem more like Peter the Great to your GF. Once you have turned to the beta side, even the most loyal, loving woman will begin to experience a reckless disregard for your feelings and a concomitant lessening of guilt when the prospect of sex with a more alpha man presents itself. Women are nothing if not masters at rationalizing away their malevolence when communion with alpha cock is on the altar of their womb cathedrals.

Preventative measures, then, are simple.

One, try as best you can to limit the amount of time that your girlfriend spends in the company of men higher status than yourself. You are playing with fire if your woman goes to work every day under an alpha boss. Now, obviously, certain realities prevent you from imposing the draconian limitations you would like and that would make a powerful dent in her ability and desire to cheat. But you can do little things. For instance, gently persuade your lover into work that is female-heavy, or run by women, or staffed with a lot of mediocre beta males. Or, get her knocked up fast, so she isn’t shunted into a lifestyle of peonage to an alpha male captain of industry. Or refuse to include her in your male buddy circle if you think some of your friends represent real sexual threats.

I can hear the baters now: “Waaah, you don’t think women have the willpower to say no to alpha males?!?”

Sure, I do. But willpower is conditional. The more her options increase, and the value of her options increases, the more malleable and fragile her willpower becomes. It’s a matter of removing excessive temptations from her life that might challenge her willpower. (Wives would be wise to keep to the same philosophy as concerns their husbands’ fidelity. It’s no wonder new wives move quickly to the suburbs, where atomistic single family homes and long commutes restrict the availability of young, nubile babes who would tempt their husbands.)

Two, avoid the betafying degeneration of long-term relationships. This means, in practice, keeping your flirting skills up to snuff by occasionally hitting on women other than your GF or wife. Game is not only useful for pickup, it’s useful for revitalizing the fading love brought on by predictability and familiarity.

If your girlfriend nags you a lot, and she’s hot enough to attract men of the caliber of famous actors, you may as well take her extrapair flirting as a message that she’s already serviced cocks other than your own. Don’t be surprised if that headache she has at the most inopportune times becomes a chronic condition.


  1. on September 6, 2012 at 3:58 pm Peregrine John

    Fuck. Where the hell was this a year and a half ago? Ah, well. Survived badly, but survived.


  2. Women don’t have willpower, why dance around the truth?


    • True. Men must therefore supply the willpower on their behalf, using dread, discipline, punishment, and consequence.

      Therefore men must develop a willfulness expansive enough to comfortably encompass his woman and his children, until the sons turn 13; and the daughters forever, or until they are properly given away in matrimony to a man equal to the task of hypergamy management. Good luck finding one in this world of faggots and “playas.”

      Willfulness, audacity, aggression are the needful things — deliberate and controlled, and in superhuman amounts for pansies raised “in this weak piping time of peace.” The hypergamy of multiple women requires the hypervolition of a man, a perpetual vigilance that nonetheless remains covert (so as not to arouse a pursuit of forbidden fruit). In an age when this chief weakness of the weaker sex is denied by betas and feminists alike, the undoing of the pack is sublimated into the mass unconscious, only to emerge when a girl wanders from her protection into the state of nature. To be raped, as is the destiny of every solitary and defenseless stray-bitch.



    • Led around by their Va-JJs…


  3. This seems to disregard options and tips for dealing with your best friend. Granted, alpha friends (or acquaintances) are people you should be wary about bringing around your girl. That said, if a man is actually your best friend one would think you could address the issue on that end too.

    In every close male friendship I’ve had, it’s been understood that A) messing with each other’s women – including any recent exes – was verboten, B) doing so wasn’t worth losing the friendship, which is harder to find than women, and C) a tratorious friend in this regard would get his fucking ass beat down. Isn’t this the norm?


    • Among men, yes. SWPL eunuchs? Maybe not.


    • I have just enough edge that my friends know while I am an absolutely loyal friend, I am also the guy who will skull fuck them and hide their body before I fly off to Singapore if they do anything untoward with my girl.


      • Cheers Heartiste for answering my q.

        It’s strange; she’s a flirty almost 20yr old girl. She’d be an easy 9.5 if she had tits.

        She laughs a lot with other guys, her fellow bartenders, my aforementioned best buddy who’s wit is second to none (he’s a natural alpha, and I’ve taught him the finer details of game). I’m more of the Clint Eastwood ‘type’, but sometimes I try to play their funny-as-fuck shtick with her and it doesn’t really gel, I come off the schmuck.

        She displays much of the WIL indicators with me, though through a few examples I’ll give, I’ll game that twat till I die.

        1. She mentioned she has a fantasy to be fucked by a black guy (this was a convo between her, me, and my best buddy while watching a movie. My gf was trying to set him up with a girl when he asked if she’s been with any black guys – she said no, she’s been with under 5 guys ‘which is pretty amazing’ said my gf. blah blah I busted her on that, she said she’s been with 10+, THEN went on to say that she has a fantasy being with a black guy. BBC fuck that noise; I ended it a few days later)

        2. She was completely devastated that I ended it, so under my terms we got back together, though her and my best buddy always were a little too comfortable together, he doesn’t know when to quit gaming a broad so it’s constant push-pull etc. One night at the bar he called her fat, she cried, I later took her home and fucked her, but I knew I was the sucker that night.

        3. She playfully hits him, leaned her head (front forehead) on his shoulder at the gym one time, that kinda kino shit.

        4. Again, she laughs constantly at his wit, which is always playful & cocky. She eats it up.

        5. Without making this too bloated, lastly she wanted to take myself, and him to go see the broad she hooked him up with at an upcoming frosh week @ the university she’s at. He can’t attend now due to work.

        btw whenever I feel the gut telling me there’s sex tension in the air between the two, I recall back to one of my childhood hero’s, Macho Man Randy Savage, who’s gf Miss Elizabeth was the hottest bitch for years in wrestling. Later on in the early 90’s there’s stories of Savage being enraged and driven mad with jelousy towards the other, obviously more handsome/alpha than Randy. He’d try desperately to segregate her from the other wrestlers — eventually they broke up, not without marrying in storyline @ SummerSlam ’92.

        There can be shitton more I can throw in here with pics if requested.


      • THEN went on to say that she has a fantasy being with a black guy.

        Tell her you’ll set her up…

        With O.J.


      • it would go something like this:


      • Your girlfriend talks about her hottest sexual fantasies, flirts with every suitable male in sight, and has had more that 10+ partners?

        Your girlfriend sounds like a diseased whore. You can keep your pictures.


      • +1



      • lol, ill prob end up canning her once it turns cold – i like how you eloquently concluded she’s a whore.



      • Don’t be bitter. It sounds like kismet. The heart wants what it wants.

        She’d easily be a 9.5, don’t forget — and attraction is 97% physical for men, according to the dictates of Poon science. So what if she is saturated with the cocksnot of a dozen or more men? It’s not like she visibly leaks.

        “Flirty 20-year-old girl” is practically a redundancy, unless she’s large/homely.



      • Tell her you’ll only let her get a piece of him if it’s a threesome double-penetration and you get her ass, otherwise no way. Confront that.


      • “She mentioned she has a fantasy to be fucked by a black guy”. No need to read on after that. An instant disqualifier, whether she has already done it or merely fantasizes about it. Yuck.


      • Indeed. Once they go black, we don’t want them back.

        Let alone the ‘moral aesthetic’ of such a situation, the chance of various and sundry STD nasties is too great to risk.

        Then again, SWPL cuckold fetishists and other assorted sub-betas will take whatever they can get.


  4. The most telling line is, “avoid the betafying degeneration of long-term relationships” implying that all long term relationships eventually bring out the beta in men. It has been scientifically proven that long term relationships (read: betaness) extend a man’s life. Anecdotally, I can feel my “player” lifestyle age me prematurely. There’s no winning formula. Live fast and die young or live slow and long.


    • Agree. Sad state of affairs.


    • “It’s not the years in your life, but the life in your years.”


    • “It has been scientifically proven that long term relationships (read: betaness) extend a man’s life.”

      Absolute tosh! Who do you think women are more likely to select for LTRs- successful and healthy men, or trainwrecks? To attribute the first group’s longevity to LTRs, rather than their fundamental characteristics, exposes some rather flaccid reasoning. OTOH- one might look at LTR suitability as a meta-filter for men.

      If your player lifestyle is unduly aging you, may I respectfully suggest drinking less, eating better, and getting more sleep and exercise? None of that needs to get in the way of embracing your inner alpha.


      • A beta lifestyle embraces the idea, however imagined or not, that your woman loves you unconditionally. A player lifestyle involves an awareness that love is very conditional. Living the former life lowers blood pressure and gives a relative ease of mind. The latter makes you a wreck. Maybe that’s why religion is so appealing- divine love is unconditional (if you believe that bullshit).

        Ergo, betaness has nothing to do with partying and drinking but rather a calm vs tense state of mind.

        [heartiste: this is quite a circus of sophistry you got going on here.]


      • The favor of God is not unconditional.

        Only PC Christianity, the Devil’s true faith, wants you to believe that.


      • on September 8, 2012 at 4:29 am Mr. Pointyface

        Wow this guy knows what God thinks. He must be smart. He also assumes for some unknown reason which no one else can see that God exists.

        For fun, God creates stuff like cancer, cancer wards, and unbearable seemingly unending pain for all his “unconditionally loved” creatures. Sounds like a nice guy. Weird form of love.


      • Idiot. The Bible tells us what God thinks, so it’s not some ‘special power’ on my end.

        And if you’d bother to read it, instead of shooting off your ignorant yap, you’d know that it was through mankind’s disobedience that Death came into the world, and all those horrible things you mention stem from Satan, not God… and the Devil just loves it when God gets the blame.

        Read the book of Job, the entire microcosm is explained therein.

        Now, if you know what’s good for you, you’ll knock off the blasphemy. God will not be mocked, and there are stripes for the backs of fools… if you’ve escaped them thus far, count your blessings and sin no more..


      • [heartiste: this is quite a circus of sophistry you got going on here.]

        More importantly, do you concur? Also the last line should have been “Alphaness has nothing to do with partying and drinking…”, Correction.


      • This. @PT


      • They say married men live longer.

        It only seems longer.


      • My hubby says our 13 years feels like 5 minutes…
        Under water.


      • +1


      • I never fail to thank my wife for 15 wonderful years of marriage…

        We’ve been married 22.


      • Who is this Greg Character?

        Who are these com-mentors?

        I thought I was doing a great service by puking words on this blog, but there are more of me everywhere. And no one will leave comments on the 9 articles (rants) I posted on my own blog.

        I think I should just go back to making music.


      • The reviews are in.

        While loop’s posts do hit the occasional salient word, they lack the necessary cogent timbre to make them consistently interesting.

        Further consideration… of another endeavor… might be in order.


      • So does an indoor cat.

        tips to bill maher


    • Refusing to marry = splitting the difference.

      Works for me, but the gf is less enthusiastic. Ah well.


    • on September 6, 2012 at 9:05 pm Chuck Groin Punch

      And indoor cats live longer than outdoor cats. But I know which one I’d rather be.


  5. One of many reasons I wish i were born in a bygone era. In a “civilized” society the state has a monopoly on violence. From the 19th century back one could simply kill the interloper and the cheating bitch.

    In this day and age one must adopt the mannerisms of the alpha to avoid such blatant disrespect.


    • “…the state has a monopoly on violence.” Tell that to the niggers!!


      • They get the politically-correct buy of “rage” about anything they and left/liberals don’t like… why conservative and/or white people get the heck beat out of ’em nothing happens (but George Zimmerman shoots Trayvon in self-defense and he’s a “white hispanic” facing Murder 2nd).


    • Posturing B.S.– why actually BE Alpha, that’s too much responsibiltity and soooo gauche, you know.


      • Modernity is devolution. Some of us still prefer civilization. The fight appears to be a losing one, but I do not wish to mimic the savage. The R-selection stretegy is found in primitive societies. Just who and what are we becoming and why?

        Being lead by soulless, honorless beings is not in my makeup. You fork tongued slick talkers are just as bad as females.


      • What you consider an alpha, I consider a philandering drain on society and wrecker of families. Yes, women are amoral. This doesn’t mean that we should give in to our most base, primal urges and all act like savages. There needs to be checks and balances on human nature or else we end up with 50% divorce rates and the collapse of society. Heartise is doing a great service to us all by exposing the inner workings of the machine.


  6. if it’s a real issue he’s not your best friend. and if you feel like it might be a real issue, it already probably happened. your gut really does know when you’re getting fucked over.

    i have a friend with a wife that is nearly irresistible to me. wasn’t great friends with him at the time i burned for her originally, but it was wide open at a party one night and only my overcautious nature kept us from succumbing and getting caught (he was suspicious, and watching).

    anyway, i became good friends with the guy, he always joked at me taking a run at the missus, and i know it ate at him. so i decided to be a real friend and not do it. when it came up again i looked him in the eye and said ‘i promise i will not sleep with your wife’.

    at the time he played it off like it had never crossed his mind, but he has brought up my promise since then a few times when we were drunk, and i know it eased his mind. plus i started having sex with his wife’s (also married) sister to ease my testicular pressure. not twins, but close enough.

    i would still crawl through broken glass for a taste of the one i want, but i value the parties and fun and circle of friends and brotherhood, and it would explode if i actually went through with it.

    now bear in mind she still did eventually try to cheat with another dude, so it didn’t stop her inherent nature, but from a friend’s perspective, you shouldn’t be causing problems for your true brothers. you should just be there with beer for when girls eventually do what they do.


  7. This never happens to me because



  8. I was the best friend five years ago. His wife exhibited almost all of those “tells” in the article. My wife (at the time) picked up on them, he didn’t.


    • I am always “the best friend” in this scenario. Women are wild and hungry and physically aching to act out in the sexual marketplace we inherited. Not that it takes much to draw this side out of a “committed” woman these days. You just have to be a man, even a marginal man will suffice for contrast, lousy as this country has become with emasculated suck-ups sublimating their sexuality into Fantasy Football and porn.

      When your woman is acting out, it is always your fault. If they haven’t been conditioned (and severely) from birth, much less from puberty, their biological function easily overwhelms their rather dull mental acuity and volition. In their prime they are bags of hormones and confusion, with puss throbbing like a sonar ping searching for every available blip.

      It requires an entire civilization acting in concert to corral this natural condition of women, just as the young man’s aggression must be channeled into sport and entrepreneurship lest there be a war every generation. It is an understatement to say we have lately neglected our management of the throb. More accurate: we have abandoned our Cunt Whisperer duties completely in pursuit of the most preposterous, unnatural, corrupting, and inverting ideology ever foisted on man: feminism. Quelle surprise! the hos be runnin wild.



  9. What is the directive here: when you advise “seducing new women” are you limiting it to flirting?

    I’d say outright cheating is the only way to prevent betazation as a married man – “2 in the kitty” 2 on the side not just one


  10. on September 6, 2012 at 5:10 pm RappaccinisDaughter

    I’d like to write a similar quiz, only for women.

    “How to Tell if Your Boyfriend Wants to Cheat With Your Best Friend”
    1. Is she hot?
    Then yes.
    2. If she’s not hot, is she more or less doable, if you have a couple of drinks and squint real hard?
    Then yes.

    Whaddaya think, have I got a career writing for “Cosmo” or what?


    • “You mean men want to sleep with a girl only because she’s good-looking?”

      “Naw, we pretty much want to nail the ugly ones, too.”


      • on September 6, 2012 at 5:59 pm RappaccinisDaughter

        Ooh, good idea.
        3. Is she uglier than a bag of assholes, but there are paper bags available?
        Then yes.


    • “…have I got a career writing for Cosmo or what?” Yep its yours for the taking;all you gotta do is suck the dead,dried-up pussy of Helen Gurley Brown.


    • An unfaithful alpha male doesn’t “cheat”, he’s just being alpha. An alpha who cheats on you is an alpha who leaves you for a younger fling. Sticking his cock in a random girl carries too little consequence for you to worry, or for women to try to demonize male infidelity the way they do.

      Your female ancestors were living in harems for fuck sake.

      Beta cheating, on the other hand…


  11. Its a question I’ve often thought about over the last few months, especially when I read the posts here.

    Can we really expect women NOT to sleep with pretty much every alpha male that comes around?


    • ^ Steve, that’s correct. I mean, No, we can not. Just banged your gf’s mom and her sister – together – at your birthday bash.

      Only G-d Knows what the Alpha male did with your wife – because even he forgot, was that yesterday?

      Since women aren’t going to do shit to solve this ever-present problem, us men need to stop sleeping with other men’s women. But, that’s a difficult proposal.


    • Yes as someone above said, with the state’s monopoly on violence even alpha males are fucked over. If it was well known that men would shoot interlopers who slept with their wives, this cheating shit would end pretty fast.

      For now, I combat women’s lack of will power and morals with my own amorality. If my gf ever cheats on me, I cant get mad because I was already cheating on the bitch from the first day lol. If a better catch ever comes along I dont hesitate to trade up. Let’s remember women always trade up when a better catch comes along. I notice morality is mainly a beta male thing. Sure there are a few alphas with strong morals, but most of them are amoral just like women.

      If every male was as amoral as women and had no loyalty when it came to sex and relationships, women would not tolerate the current sexual climate. With no men with morals, there would be no men to take advantage of. No men to use their morals against them and screw them over. But, as long as there are men with morals out there when it comes to sex/relationships and therefore can be taken advantage of, women will resist strict monogamy kicking and screaming.


    • Can we really expect women NOT to sleep with pretty much every alpha male that comes around?

      The expectation creates the reality. Or will you be one of the dads who tosses his daughter a pack of condoms, says “good luck,” and clicks back to SportsCenter?

      A man who wouldn’t kill and die to keep his own children from that enslavement is a man unworthy to be a father. Luckily, few men naturally lose this urge to protect unless they are 1) sexually pathological or 2) chemically castrated by the beta mores of the age. Which are you?

      Be the dad who makes greasy teenage twerps* piss themselves at the thought of disrespecting your house. That sounds like fun, doesn’t it?

      And until you’re the dad, try visualizing a world where women aren’t expected to be spooge sponges until their womb exhausts them into enlightenment right before they hit the wall and it’s too late, like the suicides who immediately regret jumping once they realize what they’ve done.


      * From Arthur Koestler’s autobiography, Arrow in the Blue:

      The youth of sixteen that I was, with the plastered-down hair, and the fatuous smirk, at once arrogant and sheepish, was emotionally seasick: greedy for pleasure, haunted by guilt, torn between feelings of inferiority and superiority, between the need for contemplative solitude and the frustrated urge for gregariousness.

      The manipulative possibilities are endless.


  12. Question for all the experts here.

    What do you do if you’re in college and there’s a girl in your class who you want to bang ? Is it good to strike up a friendship with her and talk her during class all the time, and also walk and talk with her after class ? I probably couldn’t do that even if I wanted to. So I’ve convinced myself that being her in class friend would be a beta move. What I’ve done is spoken to her a couple of times so if I ever see her outside of class we’ll “know” each other. And that’s when I’ll make my move. It’ll be after the semester is over. It’s a small campus and we’re in the same major so I know I’ll see her again soon.


  13. Well I wish I had known this 6 months ago, though the girl I was seeing at the time knew I was banging other chicks on the side so I don’t know if their was much more I could’ve done. Hypergamy for 19 year old girls is insane. It didn’t help that my best friend is basically retarded and his form of “game” is to say literally the dumbest shit imaginable in a self-deprecating fashion and then laugh at all of his own jokes. What a fucking loser. He also got all of my other friends to cover up for him because he was scared I would kill him. It still makes me angry.

    When I got back from Paris, found a new girl and brought her along when I was kind of forced into going out for drinks with cheating-girl & bf (along with a large group of people). Of course old girl is jealous and a bit after we leave the bar she calls me at one-thirty (when I’m at new girls place) to come hang out even though I know she was with retarded friend. Called her out on it and said we through, I was not going to be her emotional tampon, blah blah blah.

    Long story short, just got a letter from her in the mail (She’s spending this semester abroad). Can’t decide whether or not to burn it or actually read it.

    The guy had been my best friend since we were twelve.


    • Damn. Friend deserved an ass kicking. The girl’s no prize either, but blaming a 19 year girl for hypergamy is like the frog being mad at the scorpion in that Aesop fable… it’s just their nature.

      But men should know better – throughout most of human history pulling shit like that could’ve gotten a guy like your friend killed.


      • Yeah.

        Does any one else here experience manic breaks, or psychologically disturbing realizations?

        I could’ve written this article four years ago, as it were. My solution at the time was to fuck her in his room, my best friend. She didn’t seem to notice he existed after that. I broke up with her shortly after. She still “loves” me. The slut. Has probably fucked fifty dudes this last month, alone.


      • Stop making friends. It’s false advertising.


      • I know, but I’m on a bender.


      • Manjaw’s gonna manjaw. And, as the Joker (via Jack Nicholson) said, “Never rub another man’s rhubarb.”


  14. You’re leaving out one of the most effective counter measures, dread. The trick is to start flirting with other women when she starts doing too much. (Another tack is to casually praise another woman she sees as a competitor) Women are very catty and competitive when it comes to men. The negative utility from another chick getting with her guy far outweighs the positive utility she will get out of having an affair.

    She can’t give another guy her full attention if she has to keep an eye on you (lest another woman lures you away with her charms). In other words, the best defense is a good offense.


    • I’ve been playing this hand recently – results are good.


    • Your advice would spark an unnecessary and reactive arms race. You’d be playing into her frame. And you’d stoop to imitating her.

      When a kid sticks out her tongue at her dad, does dad respond in kind, or does he establish his own standard of cause and effect? (Well, maybe y’all’s dads were “friends” with his kids.)

      Master her misbehavior, bend it back around to your will. Why else is spanking so arousing to a girl? They are built to be manhandled. Handle them.



  15. the thing is, you’re not married,right? So, the social dynamics will sort themselves out if you’re dating out of your league.


  16. One thing I would say to my friend in this situation is “Do I have to get every girl all warmed up with my jizz before you’ll start flirting with her?”


    “You can do better than my leftovers.”


    If she goes in for a kiss, try not to think about all the loads I’ve pasted on her face.”


    • A friend of mine was recently diagnosed with lung cancer and only had 3 months to live.

      He tells me: “After I pass on, tell the guys down at the lodge I died from AIDS.”

      Says I: “Geez, why would you want them to think that?”

      Says he: “I don’t want those assholes hitting on my wife.”


    • One thing I would say to my friend…

      Your “friends” should be just as scared of betraying you as your woman is. Quippy clever one-liners are weak, the last refuge of the cerebral epicene (and not really a refuge at all, but rather a pathetic attempt at face-saving).



    • I guess the bassetball team is composed of well-behaved gennimuns? WHITE men as alphas:BAD,very,very bad.


      • Dude, you said it.

        Niggers in charge is always good; whitey in charge is always bad, unless he’s subserviant to the darkie in every other sentence.”

        Pathetic world we live in. Thank goodness its destroying itself.



        Try again. This guy was convicted of rape. The evidence? Two girls sauce that “a black guy” put his hands in their pants. Neither one saw the face of the offender.


      • Poor little nigger. Upset that finally one dumb darkie got caught for being a criminal, and trying to blame whitey?

        Did you read the article, stupid? Where the media blames the whole thing on “racism”?

        yeah, there’s no media theme of the black man held down by whitey, and black people should therefore have all the power.

        God, its a wonder you niggers can even tie your shoes.


      • And I love how your “defense” of the darkie is just the denials by his teammates and his coach and his skanky mama (but is there any other kind of black mother?). In the nigger world, if people just say something, it magically becomes true.

        Hope he gets stabbed to death in prison, bitch.


      • I love bassetball. They make the best sound when you make solid contact with the abdomen.


  17. Never slept with a buddy’s girl. I won’t even hit on a girl a friend says he has a crush on. Not only will I tone my personality down around her and try to be boring, but I’ll purposely beta myself to him in front of her so he looks better and then bail as soon as I get them set on a solid track.

    There have been a lot of wives/GFs of buddies that I COULD sleep with, easily, and the guys can’t even see the iois happening. But fucking your buddy’s girl is a sign of scarcity…I can get other girls, I don’t need his.


    • I generally agree, but it can be worth it to play up your alpha qualities around buddies’ girls just so the word gets out to all their girlfriends…

      Though I supose this could backfire if you overdid it to the point that your friend’s girl would downplay you around other girls to keep you an open option for herself. I haven’t experienced that yet though. So far, friend’s girls who see me being a caddish manwhore seem to transfer their tingles to their friends for me.


    • Do the same thing for my friends. You have to.

      It takes a lot of evil to bang a true friends girl.

      It’s hard enough when you’re best friends to not already be liked by her, I have to go especially out of my way to look like a total worthless dick, and even then, I am sickened by the ease with which I could get her to cheat, unflinching, in front of him.

      She tells me things I have to subtly enforce in him, to ensure he can remain happy with her. Like, if she’s going to leave him, she’ll tell me why, and I’ll then go about making him want to and begin to do the very thing he needs to in order for her to see value in him, and to make it appear as if he was the one who suddenly thought about it, rather than me being the one who began the project…along those lines, I just don’t want to be specific were he to read this, otherwise I’d go into detail. Though, of course he’ll never read it. I don’t even think he owns a book, unless I gave it to him.

      He doesn’t even know how many times I’ve prevented his ass from being dumped. This is a good friend, right here. But, there are only few I call friends. And probably none, or maybe one, who would go out of their way to purposefully make another human happier.

      But, part of it is keeping him beta. He’s gonna live long, and happy. A lot will have slipped through his fingers perception, however.


      • liked what you say about having few you can call friends. The more i live, the more i realize that true friendship is absolutely rare. People that you think are your buddies can sabotage you, use you for their own ends.

        And the purposefully making people happier, yes that is very rare. Its fucked up, because men need each other in this culture.

        Aside from the caution we talk about here regarding women….let it also be noted that it is important to guard yourself from the selfish ploys of all people….and that the majority of men and women you meet in life can do you more harm than good.

        Especially when youre a man.


      • Thanks. And I like the comment’s below.

        That’s an interesting thought: a man’s enemies shall be of his own house. Of course, because a Man’s house should be built by himself. But that’s unlikely.

        People don’t seem to like it when you build things yourself, when you can do things on your own – when you are alone. And in not enjoying being alone, you suddenly become repulsive to other people, who want you to be popular, have renown, and be known – so they can have reason to like you because you’re not alone.

        I think I’m Omega. For sure. Omega as they come. Wait, Alpha when I come. Beta when I go. Omega as I am. Delta when I remember there’s more letters in the Greek alphabet. And Epsilon when I was recapitulating my quintessence, wondering if I’d be Omega again to the Beta’s below the Alpha’s in this hierarchical world.

        I think there needs to be started a Game Cult. Or Brotherhood.

        We can have secret handshakes. Magistrates. Zealots. Hierophants. Popes. Priests. Grand Worshipful Master’s, etc…

        And rituals too. In fact, we can get a bunch of women to join our society. And I’ll just lead you all, via being a derivative of someone else, wearing masks.

        However, seriously, I think Latent Sadist has some good points.


      • I think I’m Omega. For sure. Omega as they come. Wait, Alpha when I come. Beta when I go. Omega as I am. Delta when I remember there’s more letters in the Greek alphabet. And Epsilon when I was recapitulating my quintessence, wondering if I’d be Omega again to the Beta’s below the Alpha’s in this hierarchical world.

        Comment of the month.l


      • Beta in an Indian language is a term of endearment. I am an Asian origin female, with three older brothers … I’ve had so called female friends abuse my naivete, I’ve had so called male friends abuse my naivete .. why? Because many that appear wiser etc., don’t have a conscience. It’s how you’re brought up … People make the mistake of think


      • Above, I think I meant.


      • No, it was below. It is the comment of the year. Or it was, they’d have one day said, as above. So it is below. What a tricky concept!


      • That’s been my experience. Still, there is goodness in men as well. We fight a constant battle within ourselves. But we are all self interested creatures in the end.


      • Bros before hos.

        If women are in a position to betray you, you have already lost. “Frailty, thy name is woman…” You neutralize a woman’s urge to betray with discipline, not trust.

        If men aren’t in a position to betray you, they aren’t true friends. Therefore their treachery is always worse and always shocking. Do not be the one to break the brotherhood.



      • I agree. These things are usually learned through hard experience though, and can be very painful.

        Im on the side of this blog and others, in the belief that you shouldnt depend too heavily on any one thing for your satisfaction (women in this case). But, having the skill set and confidence to know that you can be successful with many women is a good buffer against betrayal. Knowing that you could still go out and pull. That abundance mentality also goes a long way towards preventing any disloyalty from her in the first place.

        As for friends, they can really only be true friends after being tested by time and in certain situations.

        Something i’m growing more and more conscious of and careful about.


    • I fucked my uncle’s wife. It’s the most evil shit I’ve done, but the bitch left me no choice.
      My uncle is older, tall like me, more handsome than me, but beta as fuck. And he’s a prick too, because he thinks he knows it all, I tried to initiate him to game but he quickly responded that experience is the only way to understand women, and that I will know better when I’m older (lol). She’s roughly the same age as me (27), and he’s like 13 years older, but she bosses him around all the time like if he was a little kid. He brilliantly fails all her shit tests and she looks away whenever he starts talking lol. They married when she was 18, and she was still a virgin. So the virginity stuff is important, but it doesn’t mean shit when you’re a beta.

      They live next to my family home, so I’m used to hang around in their house whenever I visit my family. When I’m with them, there are sometimes other people and I’m the social funny type with people I’m comfortable with so I tend to be the AMOG. I knew that she was attracted to me, and we flirt when nobody’s around, with lots of kino but I try to be be cautious because I don’t want to initiate a family scandal.

      But last time I visited my parents’ house, I called theirs to see if I can pass by. He was travelling for a couple of days and she was alone with their two daughters. I decided to visit anyway, mainly because I love kids and I wanted to see their adorable daughters. I knew that there was a chance things might get out of hand, but I convinced myself that nothing’s gonna happen.
      But as soon as she opened the door, I freaked out because of the sexier than usual clothes and the perfume (she never smelled that good).
      I was intoxicated because of the sight and the odors, and the boobs, and the sweet face (she’s a hard 8) but I tried not to lose my cool and alpha mojo.

      – So where are (your daughters)?

      – With their friends at the neighbours’ house. I’m going to pick them up in one hour.

      – I’m going with you. I came to see them anyway. You only happen to be in my way. I have absolutely no use for you (ok maybe I’m a bit guilty after all)

      – (eyes litting up, big ass smile on her face) What? You didn’t miss me.

      – Well, (leaning in and sniffing) I would’ve missed you more if you wore this perfume last time we met.

      – Yeah well, it’s a recent gift from your uncle. (ASD? Shit test?… The female mind is brilliant)

      (By then, I realized that my boner was in the uncontrollable red zone, and that I must escalate quickly to finish before going to get the daughters)

      – You wearing it is your gift for me. (Giving her a seemingly innocent kiss on the cheek)

      – So. What news do you have? How is it going for you? (she was blushing and I knew that I could go for the kiss anytime now)

      – Right now. All I can think of is you. How are you doing? (playing with her hair)

      – bla bla bla (shit I can’t let the hamster ruin everything)

      – shhh (my finger on her lips). Do you want to kiss me?

      – Yes (Mystery was right)

      I’m feeling guilty. Sure. But what the fuck am I supposed to do with sexy summer clothes, sexy perfume, and big tits hanging around without even a bra?
      I’m sure she wouldn’t invite me like that if my uncle was more alpha. Or maybe she would. The fuck I know, maybe those societies who limit female exposure to males are right after all.

      At least, I took the last minimal precaution, which is not to cum inside her.
      I do have this no buddy’s wife/gf policy, but if the girl goes too far, or as far as female game can lead, I’m not sure I’d be able to control myself.


      • You are scum. You may perhaps realize this as the consequences play out. He is your uncle. You have an elevated duty with regard to him, no matter how beta-omega he is. If you were alpha enough, you would lead him, not pilfer from his house like a petty thief.

        On the other hand, cuckolding your uncle is a lesson learned the hard way. It is preferred you redeem your brothers from their betadom without causing them or their family harm. Men refraining from soiling each other’s houses is ultimately how we escape this sexual dystopia.

        But pain is the best teacher. We are living the dystopia because we have forgotten cause and effect. Looting is a rough form of justice against those who created and perpetuate an atmosphere ripe for looting. They asked for it, much as Jody Foster’s skirt and behavior did indeed “ask for it” in The Accused. For this reason I am not morally outraged at the nihilists like our host who are looting the anarchic ruins, despite my contempt for them as men: their excesses will help re-focus the feminine mind on the horrors that live beyond the wall we once constructed and grimly maintained.

        Men have few good choices here among the chaos. So party on, if that is the best you can do. The option of denying every temptation as it presents itself is real, if superhuman: the ideal of sainthood is to be venerated. But in a climate where women have zero responsibility to refrain from tempting us, we have a mitigated culpability.

        At a certain point, waving a red steak in front of even well-trained Rottweilers becomes less about the dogs’ discipline and more about simple taunting. Man and dog will only be taunted so much before they become the agents who, without much awareness, enforce the law of consequence upon the taunters. And enforcement has been, shall we say, lax in the last 100 years.



  18. Even when you think you’ve squashed the beta within….youll still occasionally open yourself up and experience something shitty like this. And it will still sting like fuck.

    Gratefully, im able to quickly dust myself off……happily acknowledging that yet another lump of cancerous beta growth has been permanently scraped out of my heart.

    Thats the real gift & value of Heartiste and others. Without knowledge, we’d all dwell in confusion and resentment. Wed never grasp the patterns and the shitty reality of womens nature. However, its only shitty when you start ignoring it.

    Idealism has no place in your dealings with women and in many ways….its life or death. Im sure theres plenty of guys here to testify the seriousness of not being burned ever again.


    • Here here. I would say idealism is what takes place in your mind after your emotions take the reigns. Take away the power of your emotions over your mind and the idealism disappears, and after that the path is clear for you to see. This isn’t to say idealism doesn’t have it’s place, but when dealing with women I think it’s important to see the forest for the trees.


  19. A man’s enemies shall be those of his own house.


  20. If a woman’s behavior starts to become problematic in this way, by distracting you from important things and interests you enjoy, remove her from your life.

    If a friend seems to be conflicted in any way between being a positive part of your life versus creating drama and conflict, his status drops to professional contact, not friend.

    You should count very, very few people as friends. And only after both knowing them for a long time and having seen them demonstrate their worth and value in situations testing such virtues.


  21. The only real solution here is to dismiss both of them in no uncertain terms.


  22. There is a short article on body language in this month’s Details and I thought of you guys. CH has talked about this already but this is more a practical how to and less a theoretical why.

    “New research published in Psychological Science reveals that people who spend two minutes in a ‘power’ pose increase their levels of testosterone and lower their levels of the stress hormone cortisol.


    The best ways to stand and deliver.

    Superman pose, with your legs in a wide stance, hands on hips.
    Sit with your legs stretched out, feet on desk, hands clasped behind your head
    Stand with your legs wider than shoulder-width apart, arms raised in a V”

    This can affect your whole day. Fuck coffee. Do this shit.

    Imagine if you held these poses all the time.


    • I used to sing The Ballad Of The Green Berets, with my hands on my hips and my jaw jutting out, during video conference calls.

      Just to break the ice.


    • I love coffee. Gourmet coffee w/cream & sugar in a thermos type cup with a lid on it that makes it taste even better, then I lift weights. A little caffeine makes the weight lifting easier, and then I drink a lot of ice water too. Balances me out so I see the forest from the trees. Seriously if you separate from society and stop socializing with people and just concentrate on bettering yourself, you will become a winner. That’s what I believe. Male life is all about individualism, the exact opposite of what we’re taught in school. It’s all about YOU BUILDING IT. That’s my ethos. Fuck posing.


  23. Emma Stone?! Don’t get me wrong, she’s wicked hot, but I wouldn’t have thought she’d be the taste of your or your target audience…


    • I was thinking the same thing. She’s got a bit of a ragged look to her. It’s evident she smokes. Very pretty girl, but not overly feminine.


    • Dalrock-style, married, Christian, HBD/game aware guy here. I’ve always has a bit of a thing for Emma. I would like to think I’d tell her no, and I would try, but honestly who am I kidding?


    • I’ve wondered about Emma Stone as well. She is certainly pretty, but I’m not picking up on whatever it is that earns her special frequent mention on this blog. Is it her “unique” raggedness that is extra appealing to some? Her down to earth, “I’m not all that attractive” vibe? The husky voice? I’m just not seeing it in the face, and there’s nothing outstanding in her body. I’d be interested if someone here could provide more detail as to why they like her so much.

      I found most of the other women in “The Help” to be much more attractive than Emma (especially Jessica Chastain).

      I did read that her voice is all hoarse because of some kind of throat illness as a child, not because she smokes.


      • on September 8, 2012 at 5:00 am Subway Masturbator

        Men have a little hypergamy for their girl heroes; though of course they will seize up with embarrassment and could never admit it.

        i have the hots for Elizabeth Warren, the pinko librul Hahvahd professor foolishly fighting for those who labor instead of leech for a living.


      • I hope you’re not serious about liking Elizabeth Warren.


  24. I crashed at a friends place with a chick I was boning, not dating. She wanted me to commit, but I was straight with her that I wouldn’t.

    She got up from bed as we were both going to sleep, saying she was going to go spend the night in my friends room instead. I said “Cool” and stayed there.

    She left, and came back after like 5 minutes.

    “How was he?” I asked.

    “You’re an idiot! I didn’t sleep with him! You thought I was going to sleep with him? You wouldn’t get mad at that?”

    “I think it’d be cool.”

    “You’re retarded! I hate you!”

    We boned again


  25. Need opinions on this situation.

    Girl (a blonde 7) has three beta orbiters. I’m friends with two of the betas. They introduce me to girl at bar. One week later, girl and I are fucking. Betas are immediately jealous. Jealousy begins to seep into pre-existing friendships. Rumors are spread about my alcoholism (totally ludicrous).

    I go to party hosted by betas; one yells at me, across the room, for dropping popcorn onto carpet. Party screeches to a halt; outnumbered, I kneel down and obediently pick up popcorn. Diagnosis of OCD in beta is suspected; jealousy is confirmed.

    Weeks pass. I continue fucking the girl now and then.

    Two months pass. Both betas (in nondecisive, avoidant, slinking manner) end our friendship.

    Thing is, I didn’t fuck anybody’s girlfriend. I only swooped in and fucked the planet around which the beta satellites were orbiting.

    “Bros before hos” may sound facile, but it’s really good advice. Why can’t betas follow it? Why is it alphas who can best see the forest for the trees?



    • I thought you were married… or is this not our “loves to fight” Jason?


    • Continue boning girl. Let beta slugs see how life is mean to be lived. Get new friends using what you learned. Realize you took one step forward. Don’t take two steps back.


    • I kneel down and obediently pick up popcorn…

      *shrivel* *shrinkage*

      Who is this guy, Zod? I thought he was a beta. And you’re literally falling prostrate before him?

      “Bros before hos” may sound facile, but it’s really good advice. Why can’t betas follow it? Why is it alphas who can best see the forest for the trees?

      Why can’t betas follow it? Because you have failed to lead. You have the cred and the knowledge, you’re supposed to show them how it’s done. But perhaps your “bros before hos” commitment isn’t as strong as you think. Because not only was it incumbent on you to rescue that chick from the beta swarm, it was also incumbent on you to do it in such a way that inspires your friends’ loyalty and imitation rather than derision and enmity. It’s not as hard as it sounds.

      Your buds were sitting there with their hands on their dicks, waiting for the girl to move. In you swoop, and they get pissy. Sure, you can blame it on them, but they don’t know what you know. To them it is a straightforward violation of their “dibs” (which admittedly existed only in their head), rather than a teachable moment for how a pack should handle female interlopers.

      “Boys, boys. We really have to have a pow-wow here…”

      A simple head’s-up would have sufficed: “I don’t know what you’re thinking with this girl, but if one of you don’t make a move, I’m about to.” You get your brothers in the game, you show them how easy it can be; or, when they crash and burn, you demonstrate the proper technique in front of them. Otherwise, why complicate your bond with other men when an equal or better lay is two stools down?

      I will tell you why you complicated the situation: you are not alpha yet. Alphas lead betas and reap the rewards of leadership (like pussy). They don’t steal their underlings’ toys, except to deliberately teach them a lesson. By their girlish resentment in reaction, it seems you were not a successful teacher.



    • It’s actually hard – very fucking difficult, actually – to keep friends during these processes.

      Men will hate you, just as much as you hate[d] those fucking assholes who were checking your girl out long ago.

      The hard part is the acceptance, honesty, and realism, for us to keep.

      I’ve always taken a lot of shit from a lot of fucking people, but I also always ended up with the girls in those times, and the ones I wanted – minus one, who, I wasn’t with, because I ended up getting angry as shit about another one I was with (and that was when I was 17; and I’m not a bro, super sexy, wealthy, or anything like that).

      And I’m white. Skinny. Glasses.

      But sometimes my Ego is so big it just pulls everything around me in. Simultaneously it pushes everything away,

      There’s this really weird and delicate balance to be had.

      Right now I’m in a yearly shifting phase, accepting everything that’s happened and that I’ve learned. Unfortunately, The crazier shit gets, the simpler it all becomes.

      And herein ends this bender.


  26. Your Girlfriend Is Flirting With Your Best Friend. What Now?


    Look to your left at your best friend with a confused-but-growing-icier stare. Slowly turn your head to your girl on your right, your eyes getting colder and your jawline hardening. All the while, say nothing.

    When your friend instinctively reaches protectively over to you, eager to dissipate your anger as the look of fear on her face grows into full-fledged fright, immediately kick him in the gut. As he doubles over and she begins to scream, immediately DDT him through the coffee table.

    Whip around and grab her by the throat like a black guy being broken up with by his very first piece of skanky white ass. Lift her off the floor by the throat, hold her for a second as she tries to pry your arm off, waggle your finger “No!” right in her eyes and chuck her ass onto the couch. Grab the nearest metal chair and slam it onto her head as she tries to get up.

    Walk out over their bodies to your theme music, to the boos of the crowd. Prepare for strap match at Wresltemania.

    But in all seriousness, the moment she pulls it, chuck her to the curb. Worthless slut.


    • You may not need to go the whole Ike Turner route as described about, but confront it and let the women… er, “bitch”… know not to be playing with your feelings in as cave-manly manner as needed to get the point across and make any thoughts toward such things unwanted as soon as possible.


      • Anyway, your friend better be a convinced Skynrd fan (as in “Gimme three steps, gimme three steps toward the door” like the song says) either way as well.


  27. -> Get rid of the girl . Looks like she has already committed emotional adultery ( the equivalent of physical for men )

    – Get rid of the guy as well : Women, being emotional, cannot tell right from wrong. No such excuses for the guy. He is too weak to be any guy’s best friend.


  28. on September 7, 2012 at 4:48 am Big Game Hunter

    A song by Rihanna:

    Cockiness (Love It)

    Yeah, I think that about sums it up.


  29. Guys, I need some advice / links please.

    Shortly, I’m married (yeah, it sucks); I was a natural alpha (much alike my father, who boned every hot girl around in the 25 years of his marriage to my mum lol), popular, witty & shit, well educated. However, had some misfortunes in life (like not getting the job I wanted), got married and succumbed into beta state just generally being sorry for myself & my life prospects.

    I’m rapidly recovering – attitude, life, hitting the gym frequently, starting my own business, building confidence and generally not giving a shit. My wife, however, shows little respect & appreciation (no one here should be surprised); she’s older than me but hot (solid 9 at least). I moved in with her in a nice but highly average area – I don’t make friends or even talk to people like that in regular life.

    So basically, I’m stuck in a rut where it is hard to establish my social dominance, I spend a lot of time at home building my business and days away in a full-time job which sucks. How do I turn this shit around? Building higher social value for myself takes time.

    For a certain reason, kicking her to the curb is not an option at the moment, and she knows that. I explained to her in plain English that if we break up she will be a dick garage for a few more years and will end up bitter and alone then, but she is so full of herself that she didn’t believe lol

    Any advice would be much appreciated

    TL DR: can’t divorce, alphaness is growing, but a quick fix


    • Start negging her often and wittily. Call her my little neighborhood dick garage in a humourous way etc. Start commenting about how she looks good for her age and how she hardly has any obvious wrinkles. Hit on her declining SMV and dig in where she’s most insecure. You can have her eating out of your hand in a few weeks at most.


      • thanks, that’s a good approach – i’ll try to be more subtle now. i used to just be nonchalant / borderline insulting. she gets really mad when her age enters the play 😀


      • You have to combine the negs with these other tactics as well. A good neg does not come across as passive aggressive. It is more like clever banter with an unspoken edge. The idea is to get the hamster working for you. Start flirting with other women and start looking for other women to replace her. These things should start getting her hamster going into overdrive. Basically, your wife thinks she can’t be replaced easily and that she’s the best you can do. You need to show her she is deluded.


      • You’re the man, and your advice is much appreciated 🙂


      • why do I have a pic of an alien pregnant with with Jesus F. Christ?


    • Negs don’t work as well in LTRs and marriages. Plus, it sounds more like you’re engaging in passive-aggressive nitpicking. Stop that immediately.

      You need to train her like a dog that you want to keep around. Use your voice. “Bad bitch” (when she exhibits bitch behavior). “Good girl” (when she complies).

      I’m exaggerating, obviously, but the point is simple — (1) stop f-cking apologizing for your position in life, and (2) assert control over her and your environment. She’s challenging your authority. It’s your job to grab it back.

      She WILL fight back at first. That’s more testing. Whenever you see unacceptable behavior, speak sharply to her. Then LET IT GO.

      Give praise for good behavior, too. If you just constantly vent your resentment at her and punish her randomly, she’ll just leave you.


      • Thanks for the input.

        I am training her like that, but it’s incredibly slow. She either doesn’t understand or pretends not to, but I hold my frame.

        So, again, it might work in the long run, but by no means it’s a quick solution


      • Why are you spending so much time worrying about what your wife thinks of you? What do you think of her?


      • I’ve mentioned in the 1st msg – there is a reason I can’t divorce right now, so I need to tip the scales in my favor. Thus, I have to change her impression of me.


      • It sounds like your marriage has already gone off track, which is pretty common. I agree with Phinn, at this point too much negging will seem passive-aggressive. Be really straight forward with her about what you expect from her, and don’t get emotional about it. Don’t say anything to her about how she doesn’t love you or isn’t attracted to you, don’t acknowledge it. I would continue to focus on self improvement in all areas of your life. Also, make it a point to interact with other women, to get some validation you are not getting from your wife. I think your wife will notice the change and maybe start to respect you more.


      • You have to say things in a firm but indifferent tone. I told my wife before we married flat out and still say it, that a wife who doesn’t cook or fuck is useless to me. Then keep teasing her and reminding her of that wall. Leave the ball in her court, just let her know you aren’t all that concerned about her in your life at this point and


      • Why are you spending so much time worrying about what your wife thinks of you? What do you think of her?

        Give that woman a cookie.

        Also, “dick garage” is very quotable.


      • Thanks Lara, will definitely follow it (which is pretty much what I’m doing anyway)


      • Sorry for yourself? Sorry for yourself? What, you are now the lowest caste living in slums of New Delhi? Get over it. You’re displaying loser mindset. Your wife is picking that up, so negging and all the rest of this advice won’t help much if you’re still stuck mentally that life sucks and “if only, if only” keeps coming up in your head.

        Remember, women immediately groove to irrationally self-confident men. Start displaying some irrational self-confidence to yourself. Never let yourself dwell on missed opportunities. Never. Your future is so bright that you’ve got to where shades.


      • And my spelling sucks today too. So what?


  30. Greg Eliot
    THEN went on to say that she has a fantasy being with a black guy.

    Tell her you’ll set her up…

    With O.J.

    No Greg, you ask her why?

    Besides, no white woman needs a white mans help to be set up with a black guy; you sound gay.


  31. I think CH hit the bullseye here.

    All men – alpha, beta, omega – need to acknowledge the basic and terrifying power of the biology that drives Homo Sapiens. We have evolved in such a ay that the average selection ratios are 1:10 (men selecting women) and 1:100 (women selecting men). That is to say; on the average, a man will choose one to mate with out of ten random women he encounters, based on primal, instinctive evaluation of gene quality and match. Women, on the other hand, will select only one of every hundred random males encountered.

    This is when only natural criteria, i.e. the five basic senses, are in operation while selecting.

    (If that sounds’s not. I have solid field research to back it up. Will publish soon.)

    But to get back to the main point. Because of evolution, women are driven to constantly seek suitable mates to a much higher degree than males. That’s the source of the hypergamy that so enthralls CH.

    How come the species hasn’t disappeared with such skewed ratios operating? Ahhhhh.

    That’s where the evolution of human society into groups, tribes, communities, nations – socio-cultural cohorts generally – becomes relevant. All such groupings provide males with the opportunity to supplant their five senses-based personalities – how they look, how they sound, how they smell, how they taste, and how they feel to the touch – with other attributes such as family, wealth, achievement, compatible accomplishments or interests, and the like. Similarly for women. With these secondary attributes, both ratios even out to approximately 1:1, and voila, we have 9 billion people on this planet.

    Enough of the seminar. What’s my recommendation to the guy who wrote in to CH with his question about his SO flirting with his friend? My recommendation is the age-old recipe, it’s worked for all of human history:

    1. Get married, if you haven’t already done so.
    2. Get her pregnant as fast as possible.
    3. Repeat (2) if required from time to time.

    In the novel Henderson, the Rain King, there’s a great line (I’m not sure if I’ve got it exactly correct): “He met, wooed, wedded, bedded and impregnated her, all in one evening.”

    Think about it.


    • When I was pregnant with my first child, I remember being very aware at how men who had recently paid attention to me, no longer did. I never got back to the level of male attention I had when I was childless.


      • Well, we’re doing our best to make up to you for those lost years here at the chateau, doll-baby.


      • That’s weird. Having had a child is one sure sign of a woman’s fertility. Pregnancy must not have been kind to your body.


      • No, it’s because men don’t like dealing with kids. Especially ones not related to us.


      • Yes. I should’ve clarified. Having children does not stop men wanting to have sex with you, just not relationships. They don’t want to play daddy to a child whom the whole world knows is not his.


      • Yes I should’ve clarified. Having children does not stop men wanting to have sex with you, just not relationships.
        Then again, it depends on what the man is getting out of it, isn’t it ? For a man, everything in life is a negotiation/trade off/deal.


      • Not really… but it seems that way to women, who invariably have no sense of fair play, justice, and are ungrateful to a disturbing extreme.


      • Men would rather produce their own spawn (no matter if they support them or not) than support some othe guy’s.


    • “What’s my recommendation to the guy who wrote in to CH with his question about his SO flirting with his friend? My recommendation is the age-old recipe, it’s worked for all of human history:

      1. Get married, if you haven’t already done so.
      2. Get her pregnant as fast as possible.
      3. Repeat (2) if required from time to time.”

      Never post here again.


    • You’re onto something, despite your baroque “power of biology,” “because of evolution,” and “selection” embellishments. You can make the same point without decoration (“[W]omen are driven to constantly seek suitable mates to a much higher degree than males”) and spare us the “solid field research.” We can judge your theory on its merits. We don’t require the “study” that only buries the question-begging deeper than the typical game boy can dig.

      You know how I know the 1:100 and 1:10 ratios are roughly correct enough for you to build a hypothesis on it? Because I have eyes, and I have observed it. Not because Jane Goodall tagged a couple chimps.

      Anyway, don’t trouble yourself with that peeve of mine. Just know that the single artful quote from Saul Bellow conveys the strength of your point better than a ream of pseudoscience.

      Women are the discriminating sex. Or, the scarce gamete. Your connection of that observed and not-received truth to CH’s “bullseye” is where your artistry comes in.


      P.S.: It’s seven billion. (Live by the quant, die by the quant.)


      • My compliments, sir, on your selection of the term ‘gamete’. An artful pun, indeed. I am also informed by Wikipedia that the volume of a human ovum is 100,000 times that of a human sperm cell. Why such a large barn door to aim at, I wonder. Muddles even more the ‘is alpha the one who fucks or the one who reproduces’ debate 😉


    • on September 7, 2012 at 5:16 pm stevie tellatruth

      “He met, wooed, wedded, bedded and impregnated her, all in one evening.”

      … sounds like the strategy of the average NBA groupie.


    • She must have severe mental problems to be so rich and not spend all of her time working on trimming herself down, etc.

      Even a man reaches a financial point where, if he’s alpha, he will want to spend more time gaming women than working.

      In fact, a lot of alphas live hand to mouth because there’s more women to be had by not working so hard at that point in their lives.

      While I agree with this woman’s point of view and disagree with Steve, I can’t like or respect these super rich people who continue to work and stress out and get uglier when they don’t have to. If I were Mark Zuckerberg, I’d be on the beach (but not turning to leather on one).

      Since I got more alpha, one of my gfs who was getting overweight, has reversed herself by heavy dieting and exercising, spurred by the feeling of dread that I was getting action from other women. This woman is clearly too far gone to get an alpha in her life despite being the richest woman in the world.

      I disagree with Steve because a prosperous society means too many spoiled brats, including womyn’s studies majors, to deal with.


      • She’s 67, a widow and has 4 adult kids. She’s made her contribution to the gene pool. It’s possible she decided food in hand beats cock in the bush, particularly since her extremely high status would render most men undateable anyway.


  32. Oh the responses, these are worse ideas:

    1. calling her out on it. / amplifying / drawing attention to it Directly confronting a woman about something-that-suggests-weakness-in-your-relationship is the wrong answer 95% of the time. You will either be able to fix this behind the scenes, or not at all. Rational confrontation with her cortex will not fix what’s happening in her hindbrain.

    2. suggesting a threesome with another man. Even if joking, the very thought of sharing a woman and possible sword play are inherently beta and will lower your value in her eyes (I’ve joked about this before to a gf and watched her eyes narrow in disgust)

    Your real options are: dump her, ignore her and hope things get better, and increase value while decreasing investment and increasing options. Notably, within the discrete value of a relationship, there is still is a wide spectrum of investment – you can calibrate your investment accordingly. You can go from a loving, supportive, happy, thoughtful boyfriend to a cold, cool, forgetful, unpredictable boyfriend. In general, you can become more of an asshole, because that’s both what she deserves and also what she wants more of.

    Increasing options cannot be overemphasized. This whole point illustrates how options crease instability. Fight options with options. Just as you can calibrate your investment, you can also calibrate the number of women hitting on you. Fight flirting with flirting. Go the gym. Invite hot coworkers to lunch. Spend time alone on the town. You get the picture. Increasing options is the answer to 80% of problems with women, regardless of whether you’re already in a committed relationship.

    Last thought: although it is probably true that long term relationships naturally decrease alpha-tude, it’s probably best not to believe or internalize this. The mind of an alpha bends reality to its will, including the will to remain alpha no matter what happens.


  33. Executive summary:

    Don’t be Joe Mama, the pre-cuckold. Be the best friend.

    Corollary: Bros before hos. No exceptions. Even in marriage. It always ends in tears. “I write a woman’s oaths in water.” (Sophocles)


  34. The construction of culture as an evolutionary strategy.


    • Please provide a summary.


    • Evolutionary theory is highly compatible with the proposition that males within a society have conflicts of interest regarding the regulation of reproduction. In general, wealthy, powerful males benefit from unfettered access to large numbers of females because they can support multiple mates and provide adequately for their children. However, their doing so opposes the interests of non-wealthy males, since intensive polygyny by wealthy males
      makes fecund females a scarce resource for which they are ill-equipped to compete. These non-wealthy males would benefit from establishing a more egalitarian mating system.

      Monogamy qualifies as a relatively egalitarian mating system since wealthy males are prevented from maximizing their reproductive success by having concubines. An interest on the part of non-wealthy males in establishing an egalitarian mating system is therefore highly consistent with the principle of self-interest and the other central tendencies of human behavior predicted by evolutionary theory. Evolutionary theory is compatible with the idea that humans will not only attempt to maximize their own
      reproductive success but also with attempts to minimize the negative differential between their own success and that of others. One way of accomplishing this latter goal is to cooperate with others in an attempt to impose egalitarian social controls on the variance in
      male reproductive success. Such a strategy of cooperation in an egalitarian group is expected to be the first choice of a relatively low ranking male, and in fact low-ranking males are far more likely than wealthy males to have been supporters of economically egalitarian (socialist) revolutions in the, 20th century (e. g., the Soviet Union, China, and Cuba).

      A number of manosphere bloggers are unemployed.


  35. You can’t stay alpha in a monogamous relationship with just one female with just flirting with others at the G or PG level. It has to go to at least an R rating. Bill Clinton got one aspect of his life right this way.

    Don’t ever give your SO the key to one of the places where you live. If you can only afford one place, don’t give her the key. If you’re married, shoot yourself or get a separate apartment.

    Don’t be expected home until after 8.

    After work, you can use that several hours to do things like role play with some college student about how you want her to be the nanny and you’re the child she has to run water and give a bath to. Believe me, all you have to do is ask and they’ll say yes to stuff like this. They like adventure and want to be either the dominant in role play or the slave in role play. Take at least a HJ twice a week by having a secret life.

    Flirting is not enough to save you otherwise.


  36. Fuckin’ ell! This is two years late!

    But once again, Heartiste is right. The worse thing I did was to call her out on it, and beta backslide…….she found a soft spot when I called her out on it, like “aha! So THAT is how I get a reaction from you”



  37. “You’ll need all the leverage you can get in divorce court.”

    Most states are no fault. No one cares in the court system. In fact, since the courts are culturally maxist, they view it as a distraction and utterly irrelevant. They might even view it as female empowerment in the face of an abusive husband. If you bring it up as an issue you’ll just piss them off by sounding bitter and trying to impose archaic morality that they loathe. Of course, male infidelity is viewed as worse and female victims as more sympathetic, but if you are looking for the courts to get judgmental against wives for cheating in NY, Cali, NJ, etc.. you are deluded because the opposite is likely the case.

    Cheating evidence , however, when told in a context that does not imply betatude, is a divorced guys saving grace and saves you from stigmata. Ronald Reagan was divorced, but beloved because everyone new the bitch cheated on him and his alphaness was not in dispute. That’s really the best way for a guy to get quality after the divorce is over. “I got a divorce because I got busted banging my secretary” will not be helpful when seeking sane hot 18-22 (who will usually avoid divorced men, especially those with baggage).


  38. From the perspective of age:

    She is trying to seduce your best friend, such that you will lose her and your best friend. Might even result in violence. Oh, boy. Drama. Just dump her. No ceremony. No explanations. Find another girl if you must have a woman at your side. Playing alpha monkey to retain a slut is pathetic.


    • Upon further reflection, it might be fun and instructive to run game on her at this point. That will be good practice for later. Become demanding and inventive sexually. You can get game experience, some kinky sex, and get to see how it impacts your relationship with her. You might also get more insight into your best friend.

      You might even keep a diary during this time (very carefully).

      No matter how it turns out, still dump her. Try keeping your friend.


    • Drop her like a hot rock… make it embarrassing for her, too.


    • Dump the ‘best friend’ too. 95% chance your ‘best friend’ is a fucking faggot like most people in this day and age.


  39. if they are both engaging in behavior that leads you to believe something is up they either are stupid or have balls. the next thing to do is check urself to see if maybe ur just being paranoid. You should know what kind of guy your friend is and his schedule and her schedule. Take an educated guess and show up unexpected. The thing is, in the moment, this stuff can be hard to figure out. So have fun with it. People should be a little afraid to piss ya off and i think that is a healthy. Years ago I got busted checking my gf’s emails and texts and what not and she was pissed off and confronted me, I just told her I want to marry you and I had to find out, though the relationship was over it got me 6 more months of sex from her haha, but under that premise you can get away with pretty much anything to “find out” though its best to not go there. She should be the one afraid to lose you and you should have her wrapped around your finger anything less is opening the door to betatude. Once you go down that road its hard to re-establish frame its easier to start over new.


  40. […] Heartiste – How To Do Anniversaries. . ., Your Girlfriend Is Flirting With. . ., Asstenuating […]


  41. on September 9, 2012 at 3:11 am Sullen Cro-magnon mortgage morlock

    I am not joking. I would confront him. And if the “Alpha Male friend” did not abjectly apologize for his lack of respect & restraint, it would come to blows. And if he actually tried to get in my face, then I would stab him. And I am not joking, I WOULD stab him. Definitely in the neck, but maybe in the guts too as he put his hands up to stop the blood.

    With “friends” like that, who needs enemies…..


    • It’s a “girlfriend” not a “wife”.

      I think the only reason a man should ever do anything is if he perceives the thing to be in his interest.

      If it was a wife, I could see it being in your interest, because fucking a mans wife puts him in serious danger on many levels. In that case it would make sense, but only if you truly knew how to get rid of the bastard without incriminating yourself.

      You are always the priority. Always.

      But in this case, the “friend” is effectively doing you a favor by showing that you

      a) have to work on your game – see kip1981 above for the greatest post in this thread
      b) he is no friend – you also have to work on filtering for good friends
      c) your woman is a ho – would you rather she ditched you 10 years and three kids later?

      On the other hand, if you were in a rough social circle and this disrespect would lower you in the eyes of your circle … but again, it all depends on acting in accordance with your interests.

      If it were me, I would laugh it off and encourage them to have a good life together. But that would be the last of my association with them.


  42. […] Your Girlfriend Is Flirting With Your Best Friend. What Now […]


  43. Your friend may not be your friend. He should be showing up with his own bitch, or showing you proper respect, or (best) hanging out with you on ‘guys night’ with the ladies left somewhere.

    Now, if your girlfriend is a disgusting fucking whore, your friend is your friend. If she’s a whore, and she fucks him, you owe him a thank you for showing you that she’s a fucking whore that you can both kick to the curb. If she’s a whore, and you’re fucking her because she’s a whore, sharing is caring.


  44. Also, I find that this song captures my attitude towards women when in this situation. The ‘partner’ to this is called ‘Find You’re Gone’, and is good, but not applicable to this situation.


    • It’s a simple logical progression.

      If a woman is willing to put a substance known to be bad for her into her body, all because she desires to be “cool”, knowing it is also very addictive, her risk management skills are off. Especially nowadays, when smokes are shunned, to smoke a woman must usually walk outside alone or with just one other friend to smoke. She’s isolating herself from social protection.

      Similarly, women who go out and get drunk a lot, or women who get tattoos, have little in the way of future time orientation.

      Those women are perfectly impulsive and live-for-the-moment types. And thus, sluttier.

      Hence, they will be likely to cheat. Because cheating is an impulsive, live-for-the-moment event, full of danger (STDs, pregnancy, loss of spouse) with little tangible reward (orgasm, fun memory).

      Back in college, I knew a guy who exclusively sought out smokers. He would actually lose interest in a girl if she wasn’t a smoker—because he concluded she wasn’t that easy, and therefore would require more than one date to get laid, or at least for him to spend a lot of money on drinks to get her in the sack. And he could tell in 10 minutes whether she was or not—because he would invite them outside for a smoke at that point (change of venue, natch).

      I never heard him complain about not getting laid or not having money. And he always had a chick he was banging.

      Smart guy. Took me a long time to figure out he was right.


  45. Too many red flags, it is not even about will she cheat or not, it is about being disrespectful. She knows that the guy knows well what going on and still doing it.


  46. @Joe Mama:

    Flirtatious behavior is fairly normal for both men and women these days to a certain degree. It’s knowing your limits that matters.
    If there is touching involved when flirting, then I would question it and approach the situation. First, you should tell your “best friend” to back off and quit playing the “game” with your S/O if he respects you at all. Boundaries have been crossed and you’re not cool with it. Ask him if he’d be cool with you doing that to his Women!! I’M ASSUMING NOT! Second, make it clear to your women how you feel about it when it does happen. This may or may not be hard for you to do because in my experience men are not very open about expressing their feelings, fine! However, if you open up to her she will understand “why” it’s bothersome to you and a cause for concern. Trust me, she will GET IT! Also, pay attention to your own behavior. Do you flirt with other women and basically do what she’s been doing either it be with your “best friend” or any man for that matter? Women are very observant creatures and the moment she feels threatened or insulted by another women or you, shit will back fire on your ass faster than you can say WTF!

    And in regards to some of these comments I’ve been reading…
    WOW! Interesting! LOL!

    Listen up gents, women are onto your games and therefore playing along if not better players at it. Who’s to blame??? Don’t know, Don’t care!
    They are also very much aware of the “man codes” and possibly use them against you, so think about what you do before you do it 🙂

    In Conclusion: “Do to others as you would have them do to you”!



  47. This issue can be a problem for both sexes but men thankfully have the luxury of having to worry about this far less than women. Men have a much greater sense of loyalty to each other than women do. Friendships among females are plagued with distrust, conflict, and back stabbing along with many other dysfunctional qualities so there is no doubt in my mind that women have to worry about competition from their friends far more than men do theirs.