The Hazards Of Long Term Relationships

It’s no hard sell to convince most people of the benefits of long term relationships. The intimacy, the shared experiences, the knowing winks and nods in crowded rooms, the quasi-telepathic unspoken understanding, and the cosmically unfathomable depth of love that seems to stop time — there is no better feeling in the world than sex with a woman you love who loves you back with equal fervor. The moment you slip into your lover and simultaneously lock eyes with her is an unparalleled intensity of pleasure that no one night stand, fling or fuck buddy, however passionate, can match.

But it is not an unalloyed good. With the tremendous good comes the risk of treacherous bad, always conniving and usurping to corrode your love and the presumed impregnable strength of your relationship. You must be on guard against these foul subverters at all times if you want to avoid the saddest fate of avoidable heartbreak.

LTRs will make you and her fat and lazy.

The same feeling of comfort and contentment that long term relationships gives to lovers mischievously robs them of the things that helped bring them together in the first place. Satisfaction quickly morphs into self-satisfaction, and the double-edged sword of comfortable monogamy turns its poison-dipped blade on its wielders. Food becomes central to your shared life, sustenance for the heart as well as the body. The powerfully endorphic love you share blinds both of you to encroaching dilapidation — a few pounds here, an aloof demurral to exercise there, an apathetic dismissal of a suggestion for a night on the town — and pretty soon she’s getting fat and sloppy and you’re getting boring. Your dick shrivels, her pussy desiccates. Soon, even the love follows the same tragic descent.

Prevention is simple, if laborious. Mentally frame any relationship as a continual process of falling in love, and every night together as a first date. This will, of course, be easier to do if you have inspiration. Such inspiration comes primarily in the form of your girl keeping herself as hot as she was when she passively wooed you that night you approached her. A woman, as the sex naturally inclined to embracing the herd mentality, will quickly fall in line with a stringent exercise and eating program if you make yourself an example to her. You do this not only by flaunting your self-discipline and your masculine physique, but by allowing other women to flirt with you and to engage the women around you with a charming effrontery that dances along the line between seductive impudence and naive chatter. Pepper conversations with subtle references to your exercise progress and the high you get from feeling and looking so good. Don’t be afraid to be a little cocky.

As the man, you have to lead in this department. If you let yourself go, physically and mentally, she will either follow suit or she will lap you around the race track, in preparation for the day, coming soon, when she cheats on you or leaves you for the man worthy of her 0.7 waist-hip ratio and 21 BMI. Either result is death for the LTR that means anything. You stop wanting to have sex with her or she stops wanting to have sex with you.

LTRs make Jack and Jill dull lovers.

Creativity is the KY that lubes the limbic system. You remember how clever you sounded when you started dating her, and how much effort she put into dressing sexily and acting womanly? The things in our control that make us sexy are a function of our creativity. Over time, your cleverness atrophies from disuse, and her careful consideration of dress and feminine manners dissipates. You become a machine beeping trivialities and trite observations, and she becomes a billowy sweatshirt-wearing task master. You and her are in love, and love eventually subdues the pressure to impress.

A little bit of pressure keeps a relationship fun and fueled on its own momentum. Stay desirable to women besides your lover, and she will be sure to keep herself maximally attractive to you. Don’t fall into dispiriting patterns like taking vacation in the same locales, eating at the same restaurants, buying the same styles year in and year out, gossiping about the same bullshit that 7 billion other dullards gossip about. Again, as the man, you must lead here. Start with the sex. Instead of the usual routine kiss on the cheek when you come home from work, sidle up behind her when she’s in the kitchen, hike her skirt and fuck her from behind. Fuck her in the park. Fuck her on a boat. Fuck her at the top of a ferris wheel. One night of crazy fucking like this is worth ten years of couples therapy.

LTRs will make you and her codependent.

The lament is universal, a staple of sitcoms. “I don’t see my buddy anymore now that he’s got the ol’ ball and chain.” Love is dangerous in one important respect — it will divert a man from his mission(s) in life. His attention now solely focused on his lover, the hobbies, ambitions, social circle and side projects that made him so attractive to her begin to wither under the onslaught of the time-consuming LTR. Like a centrifuge, his self-made identity spins and jettisons away from him, to be replaced by the newly forged identity within the LTR.

Now you can’t do anything without her, and she you. In the beginning, this is a necessary process to build the level of trust and bonding that distinguishes the LTR from any run of the mill fling. But it morphs into a hermetic pair-bond cocoon, a soft escapable prison that shields from the outside world more than it protects. Increasingly consanguineous, the LTR alienates friends and slackens ambitions.

You will have to learn to make time for friends or hobbies in a way you never did as a single man, when friends just appeared and stuff happened. Try to recapture the spontaneity of the single life, and don’t sweat it when your lover wants to do the same with her own friends. Time apart with separate social groups, doing different things, is a battle cry asserting individuality and independence. A woman as much admires and desires the independent man as she fears and envies him. You will never see a brighter twinkle in a lover’s eyes than when, coming home from a night out with your buddies, you regale her with tales of manly impropriety, but then, just when her heartbeat has reached a fevered cadence, you offhandedly muse that you thought about her during the night.

LTRs are monogamous.

Monogamy. The word rouses yearning and trepidation in the male mind at once. A romantic blessing! Or is it a prison? Back and forth it goes, until the typical man resolves the issue by refusing to choose, allowing the choice to be made for him by dwindling options and headstrong harpies.

There is no doubt that men are programmed down to the cilia in their cells to desire sex with a multiplicity of attractive, fertile women. Variety is the spice of life, spread the seed, hogamus higamus etc. Some men have stronger urges to variety than other men, but in all men it is there in lesser or greater degree. The LTR, filled with the bounty of love, nevertheless thwarts a man’s genetic script to seed the wombs of many seed-able women.

For men with low compunction to promiscuity (provider betas), the monogamous relationship is a sweetheart deal: they give up something they weren’t all that gung-ho to pursue anyhow, for something that brings them much joy. Men with a raging libido and a wandering eye (caddish alphas) more or less suffer indignities under the LTR regime, and their predatory lust must be either squelched or sated, the former apt to inflict psychological and testicular distress while the latter a sure destruction of the intimate love that cannot tolerate infidelity except in the most feral societies.

The problem, all too familiar to readers of this blog, arises from the fact that the LTR-pursuing betas are less likely to tingle the ginas of LTR-loving women than the lustful alphas who must be dragged kicking and screaming into monogamous obligation. What a cruel joke nature has played on us all! To tempt men and women with a prize they both want, but to establish a set of playing rules that subverts the very prize to be won, and handicaps the players most invested in the game.

Many PUAs and gurus claim that this circle can be squared; that is, that the skilled seducer can have his cake and eat it, too. He can enjoy the love expressed in an LTR while getting some action on the side.

I have heard these stories, and even seen it play out in real life. But my opinion remains negative on the enterprise. For the overwhelmingly majority of men, from high to low station, game to gameless, it is an unrealistic and mostly unattainable trick to lock in a lover for the long haul while openly satisfying his sexual need for variety. Sooner or later, it will come to a head; the LTR will evaporate into divorce or loveless airs as the repeated insult of open infidelity scours his lover’s emotional bond, or the mistresses will remain discreet behind a wall of lies and resigned toleration by the put-upon woman, the way the French do it.

Naturally, the more alpha a man is, the greater his chances to pull off this pseudo-polygamous hat trick, owing primarily to the fact that women are quicker to forgive the vices of an alpha lover than a beta lover. But even alpha has its limits, and a woman who was once enthralled by her lover’s sexy but risky enticements will someday age both psychologically and chronologically, lose her estrogenic steam, and collapse under the weight of the betrayals. A man can love more than one woman at once, but a woman cannot love more than one man at once. She, at best, can only sex more than one man concurrently. She, ultimately, finds the fullness of her love manifest in the singular, unshared love of one man to whom she is faithfully devoted.

And so for this last part I have no answer. You, as a man, will have to choose what is more important to you: transcendent, unpolluted love, or visceral sexual pleasure. You may attempt to hide your mistresses, and that may work for a while, but it may also not work, and you will have to live with the little lies of omission for as long as you and your lover are together. Some men, particularly the ones most desired by women, are devoid of the moral sense, or sustain a cartoonish, wilted version of it, and can live side by side with lies and not give it a moment’s doubt or self-reflection.

You can also try your hand at an open relationship, wherein your lover knows you seek novel pussy on the side and you, presumably, allow her to do the same with novel cock. But realistically, most men will not be able to abide a lover’s infidelity, no matter how contractually agreed upon. The thought alone of a girlfriend or wife fucking another man, however many mistresses that man himself may indulge, will drive him to a fever. Men by nature and given a free choice would collect concubines and prefer those lovers guarded by eunuchs, not by virile male competitors.

Finally, there is the long shot of the one-way open relationship, aka the royal harem. She remains sexually and emotionally loyal to you, while you get to screw around whenever the feeling hits you. No lies, no subterfuge; everything is out in the open. In my experience, this can be done if your game is incredibly tight, BUT…

It won’t work forever. It won’t even work for a year. A few months is closer to the reality, and odds are it will end in a huge flame-out rather than a genial handshake. Some top PUAs love to crow about their ability to tie down girls into one-way open LTRs, and I have no reason to speculate about their honesty, but I do doubt many of these master seducers are pulling anything like this for more than a few months at a time. (Exceptions exist, but seriously, how long did Stephane Hemon’s threesome LTR last?) Women are certainly capable of swooning unreasonably for a truly charismatic alpha male, and agreeing to arrangements against their interests which in regards to any lesser man would strike women as laughable propositions, but to play kept woman in a real harem rather than a de facto harem shrouded in the mists of plausible deniability, exciting and drama-fueled as it is, is a contrivance guaranteed to end badly when the intoxication of labial lust wears off.

No matter how hot, young and vivacious your LTR lover is, your eye will someday wander, because it is in your nature as a man to want to fuck every sweet piece of ass who crosses your line of vision. To accommodate this visceral desire, you can abdicate the pursuit of LTRs and stay a single poon hound, you can enjoy an LTR while shooting for strange under cover of night, or you can make peace with your urges and learn to abide them unsatisfied as part of the LTR deal. Many men — most men, in fact — accept the latter, and do so without too much regret. The trade-offs, it seems, are worth it.

The choice is less a moral one than a practical one, inasmuch as animal desires supposedly bequeathed us by god can’t be said to have moral underpinnings. What do you prioritize? What gives you the greatest happiness? There’s your answer.





Comments


  1. Nobody can keep this up year after year. Like dieting, they’ll eventually backslide. Keep in shape? I rarely see anyone older than 50 at the gym, especially if they’re in a LTR. Why work out when you already have someone? After awhile, men value a “mommy and a maid” more than a sex pot.

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    • The above post shows there’s every reason to keep it up year after year, and Lance Armstrong has shown that, especially if you get cancer, you should double up on the exercise, etc. “Already having someone” may be an excuse for a woman not to exercise anymore, but the male mind is normally polygamous so the concept of already having “one” woman is like thinking “I already having one Orea cookie” (bad analogy because 20+ years of that kind of junk food will wreck a man’s body).

      I haven’t got a clue why so many western men give up like they do. Gyms are mostly empty of people of every age. Playboy Magazine is part of the main stream media and, despite its neutered editorial policy after Hefner’s daughter took over as publisher, its celebration of fake breasts and Hefner relying too much on his money instead of maintaining his body, it never stopped telling men not to give up. It’s bad for men’s rights that men give up so soon in life, because White Knighters are usually older guys who have given up and want to help older women regulate men who won’t give up.

      Most men over 40 should be able to afford to have a maid do a major cleaning every Friday while he’s not at home (find a nice old lady who can be trusted with a key). There’s no reason at any time up to age 80 and beyond why a man would want to sacrifice his freedom to have sex with someone he’s attracted to in return for maid services. The main theme of this blog is not to let women frame things that way for you (box you in).

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  2. KUATO IS MY WINGMAN.

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  3. on July 6, 2011 at 3:42 pm WhiteHistory

    The worst part about long-term relationships is ending them.

    It’s a massive life change and can be very stressful. It’s even worse knowing that all her friends are encouraging her to go out and get a “rebound”.

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    • Yes, it is. But when you can separate yourself from the jealousy and innate discomfort of imagining your wife or girlfriend being slutty, and view it from her perspective, you realize that they are defiling themselves because that is all they can do. It really is sad. Female culture in the United States is poison. Their herd mentality conventional “wisdom” is very anti-family, and very psychologically damaging to the women that they ostensibly claim to support. I think one of the best inner game concepts I’ve read is about having standards as a man. Not only will it help you in interacting with women with confidence, it helps you to move on with dignity. Let her rebound all that she needs to. Don’t let it shake your frame.

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    • No. The worst part about LTRs is drilling the same pussy. The best part of ending LTRs is different pussy.

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    • One of the best Chateau posts was the one about how hard it was to “let her go” as she approaches 30 and realizes that you’re not going to marry her. It may have been deleted for obvious reasons but I’d put that post just behind “Just Say Something” and “Vulnerability Game” as something any new reader should see first.

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  4. Best post in a very long time.

    Like


  5. on July 6, 2011 at 3:53 pm The Specimen

    Shooting strange on the side. When you’re doing it right, it’s almost impossible not to have a main chick.

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    • I’ve had several main girls before. Or no main girl, if you want to put it that way. But I agree it’s natural that one girl will eventually take the lead and become the number one. Either situation is unstable. The only stability you can keep in MLTRs is a stable rotation of who is considered your family.

      And if you are doing it right, the girls will consider you their family.

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  6. Assuming your girlfriend/wife stays fit and open to regular sex, it is not difficult for a man to resist physical temptation. Even in my most sexually frustrated state, there is no physical temptation that a good wank can’t take care of.

    It’s in the emotional/mental area where monogamy becomes difficult. Most working men come into regular contact with women who are above the do-able threshold. Doesn’t take much self-displine and practciality to rule out pursuing these women. But men and women have evolved to connect on much more complicated levels than just our complimentary sex organs. When the masculine and feminine mental and emotional components start to play off one another, it can become a chain reaction that will not stop short of complete cessation of contact with one another. This is what I find so insidious about human nature: our sexual natures go so deep into who we are that we can’t even talk about a baseball game or school recital without the sexual dynamics undelying the entire interaction. It’s always there, and even when I try to affirmatively keep the bounds of the conversation in check, she is attractied to such masculine initiative.

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  7. on July 6, 2011 at 3:58 pm Backdoor Man

    This is writing with high style, and the content is solid. One of the best posts in a long time. CR still has the touch…..

    Like


  8. on July 6, 2011 at 3:59 pm Good Luck Chuck

    This is where the pua blogger definition of alpha falls apart. A TRUE alpha can get away with banging multiple women for years on end.

    Two examples-

    1. High school friend of mine was making bank. BMW 7’s, Hummers, mansions, you name it. Wife at home, stripper mistress on the side. Kept it going for 2-3 years. Wife knew about it but turned a blind eye until the stock market crash wiped him out.

    2. Another friend of mine. Trust fund in the millions. Was dating a chick for a couple of years. Started banging another girl, sent girl #1 on her way. A year later he moves girl #1 into his new mini-mansion because he wanted a “roommate”. His new girl doesn’t like it much but guess what? She goes along with it. Needless to say he was able to have his cake and eat it too. Lasted several years before girl #1 finally realized that she would never be GIRL #1.

    These kinds of arrangements always have a shelf life which is determined by the TRUE long term mating value of the man involved.

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    • It’s a catch 22. If she doesnt’ fall in love with you deeply, it can last longer. If her infatuation is too shallow, she’ll be boning other boys.

      As soon as she really swoons and is hopelessly physically yours, body mind and soul, you have trouble. Crazy serious trouble.

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  9. There’s a reason why LTR + mistresses is an age old solution: because it works. Your LTR gets the good feelings from being in an LTR with an alpha, and you get… good feelings.

    Let’s face it, it is impossible to retain alphaness while in a true LTR. Betaness will intrude upon your relationship in every aspect if you are suppressing your true nature. Resentment will set in on both sides: yours because she’s a ballooning cow who no longer services you twice a day; hers because you are a beta.

    Regarding divorces & bad breakups, those things can happen anyway in true LTRs. There’s no predicting how things turn out, but I would guess that guys with mistresses are less likely to suffer divorces/breakups.

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    • You are way off on that one. Guys with mistresses end up getting divorced. The end. Very rarely does a wife stick it out these days. You have to understand how influenced women are by other women. Once the affair goes public within her circle, its OVER. Even if she doesn’t want the divorce, it is going to happen. Do not mistake the editor’s advice in being charming, attractive and cocky as some sort of endorsement of cheating as a ‘relationship-saver’. You are living in a fantasy world to believe that.

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      • on July 6, 2011 at 11:04 pm The Real Vince

        Not in France.

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      • A lot of the difference is that in France if she’s educated upper or upper middle class her girlfriends will advise he what’s the big deal, as long as other things are ok, he’s a good father and husband. “They almost all do it. If it bothers you too much, maybe you should discreetly take a lover too.”

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      • You messed with Church Girl Sidewinder. Your envious married male competitors told your wife. Your circle was too small. 😉

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      • Monogamous guys end up divorced too. Might as well have fun during the ride.

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    • As was mentioned in an earlier comment, if she stays in shape, attractive and ready to get down whenever you want, LTRs can work. I honestly dont feel the need to look outside my LTR when I’m getting daily sex, whenever it pleases me, however it pleases me.

      You had a hard day at work? That’s rough. Now were gonna fuck.
      You have to get up early? Speaking of getting up, here’s my cock.
      Hey, wake up, I need to cum on your face.

      LTRs are the best when you have proper hand.

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  10. Great post, and all true.

    If more people were aware of what is in this essay and adhered to it, so many lives would be so much happier.

    This is the sort of thing they should tell you in marriage prep classes but don’t. Heck, it should be discussed in high school health classes. Its a hell of a lot more useful than putting condoms on bananas.

    Like


  11. Best post written since I’ve started following. I was expecting you to be more abrasive towards the concept of settling but instead I discover that you actually highlight the benefits of LTR and more importantly you describe efficient ways to make sure the status quot is maintained.

    Because of the Army (stupid decision), getting a girl knocked up at 18 (REALLY stupid decision), and then marrying her because of my deployment (I don’t think you fully appreciate how stupid a decision this was) I’ve had a really jaded concept of LTRs. My marriage ended my second time in Iraq last year. We are still litigating divorce (filed in August.)

    I have really gotten swept up in the “gamosphere” of male behavior because of the intense satisfaction that most of us (myself included) get from sex, especially from women that we HAVEN’T invested lots of time with. What I am afraid of now is that I will never fully appreciate any one women enough to go through the marriage process again. I simply love women. I love fucking them. I love touching them. I love talking to them. I love being with them. But I simply love myself too much to ever put a woman first, or even second because of my son. Although I do have an overwhelming desire to sire as many children as feasibly possibly and financially practical.

    Thanks for the critical thought fodder, DC, I needed it.

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    • “What I am afraid of now is that I will never fully appreciate any one women enough to go through the marriage process again.”

      After two, I no longer try. Or worry about it.

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    • but instead I discover that you actually highlight the benefits of LTR

      It is speculated that Heartiste has been in an LTR for a good while now. 6 months? Going on a year?

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    • “What I am afraid of now is that I will never fully appreciate any one women enough to go through the marriage process again.”

      ALL marriage in the U.S.A. is FEMINIST marriage BY LAW.

      Touch, fuck, love, LTR, etc. But do NOT get married. (Unless and until the law is changed.)

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  12. I really like this post. I was expecting Roissy to have a heavy bias towards fucking around, but he actually went and said to do what made you happy. Of course, no doubt of marriage in this post at all, but quite frankly I already know why and agree. Heh.

    No doubt Roissy is going to be furiously wanking himself over the compliments here. But he’s earned it.

    Like


  13. on July 6, 2011 at 4:36 pm (R)Evolutionary

    I’ll cosign for those above that rank this post up there with CR’s best. Extremely well-written, and quite balanced as well.

    One alternative not covered here, a one-way open LTR with a bisexual girl. The rule is–good for the goose, good for the gander, meaning that if I can have another girlfriend, so can she. But only girlfriends. I didn’t sign up for a boyfriend, so she can’t have another boyfriend either. Thus we have, in some strange way, achieved gender parity. If a girl is strong in her bisexuality, this may work. As always, “more research is needed.”

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    • on July 6, 2011 at 4:55 pm Good Luck Chuck

      I have several friends who are lucky enough to be in this type of arrangement.

      One of the benefits of a feminized society is that the stigma against bisexuality is virtually nonexistent so lots of women who might not normally act on those impulses are now openly banging other chicks as well as dudes.

      Unfortunately for me the bisexual chicks I have dated either turned out to be duds who had “been there done that” and found that they prefer sex with “one person at a time” or short term fuck buddies that were gone before I could take advantage of the situation.

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    • My live together gf M of 4 years plus had an ongoing weekends at our country place mff threesome thing last summer. We seduced her together, well with M taking the lead initially. It was her first real bi experience which she did at first largely for me, though also out of some bi curiosity which I’d been nurturing. It was always going to be just a fling though.

      Our relationship was permissibly open from when she first moved in with me (with veto rights over any particular other person if they’re too close or if they’re significantly disrupting our relationship), but other than the above I haven’t really taken advantage of that. I’ve mellowed. Well except for an emotional and sex talk long distance cyber relationship I’ve had for quite awhile now.

      It’s formally two way open, with each of us having veto powers, but she’s said she doesn’t want to be w/other men. She knows I love that about her. She’s very non feminist and even shares a good lot of my anti.

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  14. on July 6, 2011 at 4:42 pm BKSweetheart

    I read your blog often but have only commented a couple times. This was an extremely well written and insightful post. Probably one of the best I’ve read. It surprised me though because judging from previous posts I thought you would have taken a more anti-LTR position but this was actually very well balanced. Thank you for this.

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  15. CR, I didn’t know you had it in you.

    Bravo.

    Like


  16. on July 6, 2011 at 4:47 pm Good Luck Chuck

    Female infidelity is infinitely worse than male infidelity.

    I have been saying this for years- discreet infidelity on the part of the male is the best thing that can happen to a relationship for both parties. Problem is the feminists have convinced women that it is in their best interests to dump any man who cheats. Of course, who can blame them when they can divorce you and walk away with half your shit.

    A relatively high value male is worth more on the sexual market than the hottest woman on earth. He DESERVES to have access to sexual variety. Hypergamy dictates this. That is why a woman will overlook infidelity as long as the piece of the pie she is getting is as big or bigger than the whole pie she might be able to get elsewhere.

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  17. on July 6, 2011 at 4:57 pm Rollo Tomassi

    The ugly secret to a successful and healthy LTR/Marriage that women both hate and need in spades can be summed up in two words:

    Competition Anxiety

    This one element inspires the hottest sex, the closest sense of appreciation, and the greatest ambient threat that women need to base their self-worth on by association with their committed lover. Every item on this list can, by degrees, be mitigated by maintaining an ever-present, subconscious awareness that you are a sought after commodity.

    Every element of Game still plays a critical role in an LTR; it only differs in it’s application. Every divorce I know of was the result of anxiety being replaced by comfort.

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    • on July 6, 2011 at 5:36 pm Ari Hinkelberger

      Damn truth right here. That’s why the optimal balance in an loving sex filled LTR is probably the man banging other women but her not finding out and never really 100% knowing if it’s going on. She just suspects it’s happening.

      This would likely lead the man to carry a natural persona of aloof and indifferent. Which we all know is what makes a woman’s pussy drip with lust.

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    • on July 6, 2011 at 5:50 pm Backdoor Man

      Insightful comments, as always. I offer a couple of recent anecdotes.

      The hottest, most violent sex I’ve had with my woman in recent years was when she suspected I was having an affair. I neither confirmed nor denied anything, but I did say, in no uncertain terms, that I would be banging other chicks and she would have to accept that. She went to bed upset, while I stayed up drinking mescal. The next morning, however, the rutting was off the charts. I’m surprised the neighbors didn’t call the cops.

      I have some female friends (married and single alike) that I check in with on occasion. A few times, after I left a voicemail, they returned the call within a minute. My woman, knowing that high-value women are never in a hurry to return calls, took note: why would my good friend, who is pretty, married, and has a 6-month old baby, call me back so quickly? You could see the spark of concern and competition in her eyes.

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    • Recently, I was out in the front yard mowing the lawn and my wife, who had just stepped out of the shower, saw my phone ring with the name of a recently divorced woman. My wife came out onto the driveway, wrapped only in a towel, angry and asking me “Why the F is she calling you?”.

      Later that day, with a sly smile, I said to my wife “If I had known it was going to get you out into the front yard wearing nothing but a towel I would have had her call earlier”.

      Competition anxiety indeed.

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  18. no fatties – period. stay in shape or ya out.

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  19. Well, on a moral level, my answer would be “do we want to live in mud huts? no, we don’t”. Harsh reality says we can’t have your cake and eat it. Kudos to those who somehow can.

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  20. on July 6, 2011 at 5:24 pm Ari Hinkelberger

    Everyone seems to forget. Roissy has long advocated for healthy loving LTR’s. He is however adamantly opposed to marriage. Not sure why all this “Can’t believe you were so positive on LTR’s” talk has filled the comment section

    Roissy continually sings the praises of loving sex filled relationships.

    Your comments about provider betas is pretty right on though.

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  21. on July 6, 2011 at 5:29 pm Once Upon A Time

    For months I have been reading this blog and thinking sweetly back to the days when I was the age and shape my sons are now. I often wondered and hoped for a blog that would be more helpful with recapturing alpha status for us LTR males (20+ years), and then the gang at CR present this. Seems like this 50-year-old needs to get his ass to the Gym.

    Watch out woman, he’s commin’ back with a vengeance.

    Thanks guys for the post.

    Like


  22. One of the best posts in a long time.

    For a player getting into a serious LTR, this post hits close to home. Thinking about the future, starting a family, that shit is scary. But thinking about staying in the same game, fucking the same boorish girls I’ve been picking up for the last few years, I’d probably kill myself if I had to do that well into my late 30s.

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    • This can’t be pointed out enough. There are a lot of horrible, horrible women out there, especially in the bar scene, and if you want to keep banging a lot of chicks, you will have to constantly be dealing with them.

      Not that LTRs don’t have all of the potential downsides our host has pointed out.

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    • on July 7, 2011 at 11:27 am DiamondEyes

      lol so your response is to get hitched to one of those boorish girls permanently, and watch impotently as she becomes increasingly more boorish and fat?

      why not elevate your game and go from nailing lower class bar hags to picking up cultured international beauties in hotel lounges?

      Like


  23. I guess life is simpler for we few men who have never yearned for a LTR.

    Waking up alone is not just tolerable, it’s great. To me, girls are much too boring and frustrating outside the bedroom to justify rearranging my personal life in the ways a LTR requires. (No, babe, I actually DON’T want to meet your family, m’kay?)

    Yeah, that would go over well!

    In my senior years when I haven’t the will to pick up girls, I can have as much sex with hot escorts as my budget will allow. Stress free.

    Factor in Amerikan divorce law and, for this bachelor, the choice is a no-brainer.

    Like


    • on July 7, 2011 at 5:56 am johnnymilfquest

      ^^ This.

      Unfortunately, I had to learn the hard way through bitter experience.

      I’m single-for-life now. If I still get some pussy, great. If I don’t, its not the end of the world.

      Like


  24. A bit of a Devil’s Advocate from a guy who has no problem being a strong alpha, but also prefers long term relationships over short term ones.

    1. The women I date know I am not monogamous. “It’s not a choice, I was born this way” to quote the gays. When I started dating at 13, I wasn’t into the idea of spending too much time with any one person — not my best friend, not my sibling, not the girls I went out with. I just knew the economic destruction of monopolies even before I could write the conjecture.

    2. The women I date are turned on by the fact that I go out with other women, be it in the town I mostly live in, or when I’m romping around the globe. If a gal takes a photo of me and tags me on Facebook, other women I see tend to comment on said photo without a hint of cattiness, envy or anger.

    3. I know what my needs are, and no single woman has ever fulfilled all of them all of the time. This is an economic truth of supplying demand in any market — no single supplier can give you what you want, at a price you want, in the time frame you want it. Price, speed, quality: pick two. Because of this, there is absolutely no reason to argue with someone about my lifestyle.

    4. I have no roots. As such, committing to a 7-day per week relationship is impossible. You only live once.

    5. I have no desire to control who a woman sees other than me. The flipside to this is that by removing the forbidden fruit of the “Don’t cheat on me” commandment, few women that I see actually go out to see other men. Addition: I prefer to have self-employed women in my bedroom when possible, and they’re too busy to date around usually anyway.

    6. It takes months to train a woman to take care of specific needs of mine properly. Whether it’s how I want my shirts steamed and pressed, or what gets me off in bed, or what I like to do on an 85 degree night in a Chicago summer, no one gets it right early on. By giving women the opportunity to learn through their own self-discovery, it fulfills a lot of their need to dig. By being a realist and making everyone aware that they’re not good at everything all of the time, it introduces mystery that makes them want to try harder. It’s killing 10 birds with one stone.

    I’m with someone now that informed me our 18 months is coming up this Friday. That’s a pretty long term relationship. I’ve been seeing someone in Europe for well over 7 years, and when we do see each other (3-4 times per year), it’s like we were never apart even though we barely communicate across the big pond. That relationship has taught me a valuable lesson with friends and women: make sure that they have space to miss you. It keeps the flame burning strong.

    The issue isn’t long term relationships, the issue is forced monogamy. Monogamy ruins a woman’s desire for a man just like a single man is less attractive than a man with at least one other woman. That inner hamster in women asks “Why is this guy single?” For me, the woman’s inner hamster also says “Well, I own him now, he’ll be a doormat soon so I better keep my eyes open for a better guy.” With me, they get neither. I’m not a doormat, and I’m surely challenging the to keep up their end of the bargain.

    Recently, my 18-month gal was feeling fat. I told her that she seems to have gained weight, and she knew from early on that I am a weightist and can’t abide fat people. She promptly went 80/20 paleo and lost 10# — 5# more than she started with. My sex drive for her skyrocketed with the 10# loss and she noticed. Now she wants to lose another 5#, and the benefits she receives (both in terms of her health and my attraction to her increasing) are palpable with each pound lost.

    I will never shun a long term relationship if at least a few of my needs are met. What’s the point of breaking up when I’m vocal about my needs and how much easier it is to get a few needs met from a bunch of women rather than all from one. No one shops at one store only, eats at one restaurant only, or reads the same book over and over again only.

    Competition is what makes live beautiful.

    Like


    • I’m not buying it. Not in Chicago. NYC, LA, maybe Greenwich, CT…but not Chicago.

      Like


      • Can’t buy what isn’t for sale.

        But Chicago has way more women than men, and the ratio is like 25:1 based oon hot women to alphas. The only women I meet who say “I could never date a man with other women” are fat, statist white fencers, and who wants that?

        If you think a woman wants monogamy, you’re listening to her outer brain. Her inner brain loathes the idea of a doormat.

        Like


      • Damn straight … Chicago is the land of beautiful women.

        Anyone who says otherwise hasn’t been there anytime recently.

        Like


    • on July 7, 2011 at 11:45 am DiamondEyes

      This lifestyle sounds great to me. But there is one nagging question, that surely you get asked all the time. Don’t you get tired of having sex with condoms? And, if your answer is that you don’t use them, aren’t you worried about disease or pregnancy?

      I instinctually get uneasy at the thought of my women sleeping with multiple guys. I don’t like using condoms and I’m not going to ask for an AIM test on each date. Women are so scantless these days that I don’t trust any of them to not be screwing other guys unless I have them on full lockdown.

      To me this is the argument for keeping one main girl who doesn’t see anyone else, while having your concubines as well.

      Not that I have perfected the art of how to do that yet…

      Like


  25. Heartiste—

    or the mistresses will remain discreet behind a wall of lies and resigned toleration by the put-upon woman, the way the French do it.

    I think that’s more a description of how moneyed Latin Americans, and for that matter Italians and Spaniards do it, from what I’ve seen.

    Among the French, it seems that among the educated upper middle and upper class intelligencia after a number of years into marriage, wives as well as husbands often take lovers. According to Gorbachev and other snipets I’ve gleaned from elsewhere including French movies, discretion is indeed key, but there’s also a code of not prying. Well each spouse’s close friends will know, and the spouse will know or suspect, but not know of the lover’s identity usually, but not always. There’s also a code of not neglecting one’s duties as a father and husband, or mother and wife, including sexual ones I believe.

    I still have the impression French husbands are more likely to have lovers than French wives, but that may just be it’s even more incumbent on French wives to be discreet.

    I hope Gorbachev and anyone else more knowledgeable about it will elaborate.

    Like


    • You’ve pretty much hit it on the head. That’s how things work in most of Europe really. Don’t think Italian women stay home and take care of bambinos over steaming pots of spaghetti either. Most married people who are screwing around are usually screwing other married people. It’s easier that way and safer too.

      Like


    • That’s how it works on upper/upper-middle class latin america. Women stay fit and pretty but are aware that their husbands are going to cheat if younger putitas appear. But they expect discretion and that the husband fulfills his spousal and family duties.

      Like


      • My impression though is that Latin men from that class aren’t ok at all with their wives having affairs, even if the still have sex with their husbands.

        Like


  26. Finally, there is the long shot of the one-way open relationship, aka the royal harem. She remains sexually and emotionally loyal to you, while you get to screw around whenever the feeling hits you. No lies, no subterfuge; everything is out in the open. In my experience, this can be done if your game is incredibly tight…

    This is what I aspire to in life… “And I will Get a Harem or Die Tryin'”

    Good Day

    Like


  27. This post is delicious! I’ve been looking for creative game ideas about LTR and I must say I’m impressed. Thank you.

    Like


  28. I disagree with the fatality. A small but still surprising number of women — quality, hot women — are emotionally comfortable with a longterm one-way open relationship, as long as the liaisons are limited and fleeting (one night stands or even better, threesomes), and are relatively infrequent. These women will usually be bisexual and intelligent. If you have the alpha cred, I would explore the option. I find monogamy to be a slow, tortured death that not only stifles desire but saps the creative juices and the spirit of life, no matter how great the love. And if you value love, deception cannot enter into it.

    Like


  29. Best post in months. Thank you, Old Roissy.

    I’ve been dealing with this problem myself. After some radically heightened success (and some terrible, terrible blowups stemming from walking the open cheating/harem line) I have finally landed a spectacular woman 10+ years my junior and possessed of enough fine qualities in public and whorish sentiment in the bedroom that I am actually considering a relationship with her. Egads. I think I’ve lost my mind but it is a definite trade off worth pursuing every now and then.

    Like


  30. July 7, 2011. The date this blog jumped the shark.

    You can see why a lot of people believe there are multiple writers. There are not, but the writing is uneven enough to make it seem like there could be.

    With age comes perspective. An aging cad begins to intuit why institutions like marriage predate civilization itself and are a spontaneously developed feature of every culture that ever existed. He now knows why so many ostensibly smart people have fallen for and continue to be “duped” by its supposedly false promise. But he is also invested in the immaturity of the philosophy that gave him street cred, and he can’t simply falsify his prior boasts. Instead he attempt to force-fit his proper longings into the ramshackle vehicle through which he made his name.

    Really now? This is “game”? Who does the author think he’s fooling (besides himself)?

    This isn’t game. This is a public confession. Thinking out loud. A stream of consciousness generated by something the author has loudly declared to be philosophically impossible.

    Like


    • Silence, mangina.

      Roissy’s comments here have nothing to do with marriage. The whole point of this blog is that marriage is a bad deal for men who understand the legal realities of marriage today.

      That doesn’t mean that most men don’t want to get shacked up with a woman and eventually have children. This blog prepares them for the reality of that situation by teaching them to understand how women really think and behave.

      This is an anti-feminist blog. “Game” is secondary to its true
      purpose of mocking our feminized culture and helping to grow a little hair on the balls of men young and old.

      Like


  31. on July 6, 2011 at 6:26 pm Another Alpha

    Nice post. As someone about to move in with a girl it is definitely very timely and has given me a bit to think about.

    In answer to your last question, I find that polygamy with a number of girls-with-issues would be a fair solution. It brings its own problems (legal and otherwise) but for the aspiring alpha who wants children I think a polygamous lifestyle when managed properly is the best option.

    AA

    Like


  32. This Ode to LTRs is an attempt to redefine marriage no less preposterous than what the NY legislature just did. There is no getting around matrimony’s essence, though, no matter how many revisionist reboots are attempted. No matter how much the author’s waning libido is subliminally convincing him to reconsider that which he so flamboyantly rejected, the essence of every successful marriage is self-giving: two people giving themselves over to an irreversible and therefore fruitful covenant.

    It’s not rocket science. Occam’s razor, anyone? All of these strange explanations for the appeal of “LTRs” and its attendant virtues … except the simplest and truest: the glory of life is to give oneself unreservedly to another human being.

    Are there forces pulling us away from that utopian dream? Yes. Is it easy to point out how childish and innocent those dreamers are about the way the world works? Of course. Easy and funny. But what else have you got? You deconstruct and demolish one fantasy, another rushes to take its place. Eternal love is impossible, but a sustainable harem is not?

    Calling marriage an “LTR” doesn’t change its essence. We used to just append the qualifier “common law” when it failed to occur under the auspices of formality (or even intent). The idea that you can share a home and a bed with another person without making unintended commitments and forging real, irrevocable bonds is a stupid and destructive fantasy. It is a lie sad boys tell themselves when they suddenly wake up to find themselves middle-aged.

    Like


    • Silence, feminist mangina.

      There is no platonic “essence” of marriage. Marriage is an institution that has changed over time and has changed for the worse. Many men will be trashed by marriage. Your glorification of it comes from ideology and not from experience and is therefore worthless. You are desperate to return to a world of stable institutions and beliefs, but that world is gone. Have the courage to live in the real world and be a man.

      Enough of your shaming language, Ritmo. Whatever name you come here under your cunt still stinks the same.

      Like


      • @n/a

        King A couldn’t be Ritmo because, as much as I might disagree with the former, he at least has the guts to state his real, more or less social conservative, agenda and confront the host directly with it instead of flaming other commenters. The latter was a left wing latin-American guy in his mid thirties who liked to call himself a libertarian but who accidentally let slip once that he had an MO (refusing to call it game) of impressing new age women his own age by agreeing with their politics, etc. Ritmo tried to use PUA rhetoric/theory to push a Marxist agenda that probably revolved around the idea that getting lap dances from 19 year olds was exploitation of the proletariat and male over-entitlement. He tried to argue that it just wasn’t “alpha” but, like Lady MacBeth, he protested too much, making it clear that the real agenda was hidden. So the above are clearly two different people.

        Like


  33. on July 6, 2011 at 6:59 pm Mr.Banana'z

    I have a few LTR with different women, but I will never marry them, live with them, settle with just them, or provide for them in any way. Why? Because deep down the only reason a women wants a man to settle down with only her is to gain access to his resources and a chance to cuckold him. It’s just principle, I refuse to be the sap who women are only interested in for resources. Even if I prevent her from cuckolding me shes still craving for alpha sperm and deep down has no respect for me. She only views me as someone to scam into raising her bastard children.

    I believe settling with one women breeds resentment because women are naturally wired to like alphas who chase many women, and so they cant respect a man who settles only for her. Even if you game her perfectly in a marriage, she still wants other alpha men and will cuckold you if she has the chance. I truly believe women view men who settle for them as cattle to be exploited.

    Im a natural born beta but I refuse to play the part. Now I’m not a ladies man by any means, but I think I do ok for myself. The women I’m with love me much more acting alpha, gaming them, and using them for sex than they ever would if I married them and worked a 9-5 job. I’ll never be alpha but I will never stop trying simply out of principle.

    Like


    • on July 7, 2011 at 11:56 am DiamondEyes

      Yep, it’s the classic “I wouldn’t want to join any club that would have me as a member” paradox. Woman can’t seem to acknowledge this truth, but it’s plain as day: her attraction to a man is at inverse proportion to his interest in being monogamous with her.

      Like


  34. It seems to me that if a male is truly alpha then he’d be smart enough to date two bisexual beauties who are also into each other.

    Like


    • Mystery tried that. It’s difficult to get two bisexual beauties.

      Most harems are composed of ugly women. Beautiful women have a lot more options and with time they will move on. Inevitably you’ll favour one woman more, and the other will resent it. Or the women will favour each other over you. Women being women, they’ll backstab each others for your alpha charms, or backstab you. That tension will spill out into your life and make it very stressful.

      I’ve had experience of that. A lover’s father had two wives. They fought bitterly, poisoning each other’s maids, using the others toothbrushes to clean toilets, and having many long and loud arguments which spilled across the house. Sex and romance stopped with one woman but not the other and it proved a very hostile environment.

      Having an open relationship or infidelities is much more realistic.

      Like


      • It’s difficult to get two bisexual beauties.

        My favorite lover was open to threesomes with other girls, and we actively hunted, but never scored.

        Even average Thai prostitutes and prosti-tarts are not into threesomes. Not the few I propositioned, anyway.

        I suspect some guys here have had oodles of threesomes. My brother has had a few. I’ve had one. And I’ve tried to arrange them with every girl I’ve ever seriously dated.

        The one threesome I did have was with two girls who I had already charmed with romance. I’d lived together with both of them, at different times.

        Outside of that threesomes are fucking difficult to arrange. It’s not that difficult to get your main girl to agree. I’ve had that plenty of times. It’s meeting and scoring that new girl, who you can’t charm with romance, but must charm with sex.

        And I don’t charm girls with sex. My charm is more holistic.

        Like


  35. Instead of the usual routine kiss on the cheek when you come home from work, sidle up behind her when she’s in the kitchen, hike her skirt and fuck her from behind.

    More like pull down her sweat pants. Ugh.

    Like


    • If your woman is wearing sweatpants and she isn’t doing some heavy scrubbing of toilets and bathtubs, or its wintertime and she is just back from a run outside, you have problems.

      Normal pretty women want to look pretty when they know their man is coming home.

      Like


      • Or at least wear some slutty nasty sexy shit underneath those boring “Mom” clothes, that she flashes to you with a sneaky smile as you walk by while she’s doing something with one of your gremlins.

        Of course if you don’t have kids, there is just no excuse.

        Men need to wake up and realize if their woman doesn’t want to fuck them every chance they get, their relationship is going down fast.

        Like


      • Yep. Sweatpants are terrible on girls and guys. And Nothing says female like a skirt. Easy access and classy. Love fucking my girl in a skirt.

        Like


    • Pull out the scissors and cut up all her frumpy clothes.

      Best done in front of her.

      I’ve done that. She’ll get the point.

      Tell your girl what to wear regularly. Get her accustomed to all sorts of commands.

      Like


      • My girl was wanging wanging me yesterday, and was period foul. She’d been gossiping with a worker at my office, apparently, and must have heard rumor of a date I’d recently had. Made the poor girl insecure and sensitive and angry and want to claim her ground. Wang. Of course I’d tell her to stop wanging and otherwise command her to settle down, and I never directly argued about dating – just kept silent on that issue – but what finally settled her down was telling her to put on one of her sexy outfits. Her “zebra”. A nice form fitting black and white number that is one of her household outfits I allow her to wear.

        Like


  36. A mention of Stephane Hemon? I haven’t seen his name, since Ghita left him for Neil Strauss. There is a full post to be made just in the psychology of that guy and the fallout of his relationships…

    Like


  37. At some point in an LTR, chances are that the issue of having kids is going to be raised. Most probably by her.
    If you think maintaining a good LTR takes effort; adding kids to the mix makes everything even harder and changes everything.

    Like


    • When you add kids, especially more than one, you discover just how comitted your woman is to remaining a sexy size 4 or smaller for you that will look hot in the bedroom and at the pool or the beach. The key, as Roissy notes, it to make sure she realizes you still have options, and in fact, probably more options than when you first met and probably better options than her for looks alone. My wife, 5 kids later, is still the same size as the day I married her at the age of 25 – 34-25-35, 5′-2″, 109 lbs. and can still wear the same clothes.

      This is not an accident. If she thinks you are just a beta chump with no where to go, she is going to blow up like a whale. What are you going to do about that???

      Like


  38. on July 6, 2011 at 8:42 pm A hard reign held up by rage

    – delete the last one, this should look properly in paragraphs this time

    Men! I need your help.

    Its the college/uni holidays where I live for another few weeks and I have nothing to do. I just got a job which will take up some of my time during the week, but its only 4 hours a day so it still leaves me with a lot to do. I recently completely quit video games uninstalling everything and I vow never to play again, my goal now is to meet more girls. But I dont really know where to go. There are a FEW events that I can go to such as yoga and my uni has some social clubs for various things e.g. rock climbing, dancing etc but they are often quite sparse and irregular.

    What can I do during the days to meet girls? It seems to me that there is literally nothing in terms of social institutions that men can fall back on to meet the oppisite sex. There is nothing except for going to bars and clubs in the night-time, and there are a few issues there. It can be done of course, but its not culturally acceptable to simply walk into coffee places where I live and start talking to people. I wont go to clubs because I’ve tried it and I hate the music which is too loud to talk without losing your voice by the end of the night. Bars – I might try to get better at them but I have literally no idea what to do when I walk into them. I can drink alcohol at home for twice as cheap so whats the point of going to a bar alone? I’ve tried it before and I feel fake and weird opening sets with cheap MM routines – “Hey guys do you think my glasses make me look gay? Because I was in the supermarket earlier and some guy came up to me and said…” it feels incongruent with my identity to be talking to people saying things like that. What I feel as though I’d need to do is establish a stronger identity and frame where I can walk into bars alone and have a good time, but at the moment I’m a very low energy person and I cant think of a way I can make going into bars alone congruent with my identity.

    I’m going to try coffee-shops during the day but I’ve had no luck so far and I think its especially because I live in Australia and coffee-shop culture is different here than in the U.S. People just dont talk to strangers in coffee shops unless its a passing “hey I like your jacket” etc. Nevertheless I’m going to try it. The other day I sat in a Starbucks-esque shop and did some reading a writing. There was a cute girl but she had her mum with her so I didnt want to open. Apart from that there was nobody cute in there for the 1 hour I was there. The main reason I went was to try to sit in a social place and expose myself to social settings for a long enough time as to reduce anxiety and that kind of thing.

    I’m going to keep trying though, mainly because I think my issue is primarily hormonal rather than intellectual. Its difficult to be articulate here, so try to follow what I’m saying. The other day I wanted to go out to a coffee shop to read a book in it, but I said to myself whats the point? I can just sit here on my bed and read the book. I dont completely understand society and I feel like I have aspergers (I dont) because I have no idea how human beings are supposed to meet other human beings in normal circumstances. But its ridiculous because I’ve had girlfriends in the past so I know I’m attractive.

    One of the things that halts me from working the day-game field of clothes shops and shopping centres, coffee-shops and the street is the feeling that its fake. That I have to lie to myself and to others about what I’m doing. I think “what the hell am I going to say when the girl asks what I’m doing here?” Then I have to lie – I have to say I was shopping, or going somewhere, or just popping in to this coffee shop for a quick drink. Its a lie. That wouldnt be what I’m doing. What I’d be doing would be scanning these places for good looking girls and talking to them. I’d have to lie. Krauserpua doesnt say “I’m actually walking the streets specifically to find women to insta-date and then try to fuck. Oh and by the way there’s a guy videoing you and its going on my blog.”

    I’m not that cold-blooded yet. Even the other day I tired walking through my uni library to try to find a cute girl to open. I felt like a serial killer. I cant lie to myself and try to keep up this identity. Its like this natural alpha identity is supposed to be “oh, whoops I accidentily meet all these beautiful women. Yes I just happen to meet all these women and get their numbers and develop a social circle because I’m a cool, confident, social guy when I go out.” Thats not reality. Thats fake. But perhaps this is what I will have to do.

    I’m pretty sure I sound pathetic and like I have issues with my masculinity and sexuality but please, hit me where it hurts. I need advice. I am definitely getting better and I love it. A few months ago the absolute scariest social thing I’d ever wanted to do was walk into a club alone. And I did it! I walked the fuck into that club. I ran a few MM routine openers and then realized the music was so loud this was going to be hard. After about five minutes I’d walked about 10 metres total, then I walked into the bathroom where I stayed for probably 20 minutes. I had a sheet of paper with 20 different kind of openers on them and none of them seemed right anymore. So I just walked out.

    The funny thing was, just before I got to my house on the way home, I opened a girl at the streetlight with “hey I like your ‘clothing item'” she said thanks and then I said “it looks like lingerie” (it had a frilly bit). She laughed. Then she happened to be walking past my apartment so we stopped and talked for like 15 min or maybe it was 30 min I dont know. Something incredible happened. About 5 minutes into this conversation with her, we started talking about stuff and it all happenned pretty naturally, and I began to feel a mixture of strange, euphoric feelings I’d never felt in at least a year. It was literally the most powerful and wonderful thing I’d ever felt in a year – I’d basically not been with a new girl for a year. I felt attraction, and comfort, and like I wanted to kiss and cuddle this girl, and she was smiling at me, and her feet were together in that cute feminine way, and she wasnt leaving and she seemed excited to be talking to me. This feeling was incredible. What ended up happening was I was utterly utterly stupid and I didnt get her number. Because she lived near me, I had the dumb idea that I would see her again soon. I havent seen her since that day – three months? ago. What I could have actually done is tell her I should get her number but that my phone was inside – I had full confidence she would have gone in, and that would have been great for the relationship no matter what had happened.

    I didnt see her again or get her number but still, something incredible happened. I got the most happy feelings I’d ever had in a year because I was talking to a beautiful women. So I decided that should be the focus of my life right now – to get these feelings again by talking to more beautiful women. Not the prime directive of my life – but I’m going to really focus on improving myself and putting in hard work.

    Anyway I really need advice. Please, men who comment here. Help. How can I fix this issue with my identity, and where should I go to meet women? I need your help.

    Like


  39. For a ‘harem king’ you have some unexpectedly positive views on love and LTRs.

    Like


  40. 1. tldr. Your erratic paragraph structure didn’t help much.

    2. “but its not culturally acceptable to simply walk into coffee places where I live and start

    talking to people.”

    Ew at the random paragraph split, and cultural acceptability is not your goal, vagina is. Your goal is to get between a woman’s legs, not win a citizen of the year award.

    3. I can drink alcohol at home for twice as

    cheap so whats the point of going to a bar alone?

    Pussy and socializing. Your goal is to get pussy, not to be frugal.

    4. “About 5 minutes into this conversation with her, we started talking about stuff and it all happenned

    pretty naturally, and I began to feel a mixture of strange, euphoric feelings I’d never felt in at

    least a year. It was literally the most powerful and wonderful thing I’d ever felt in a year”

    You need to learn to stop creaming your jeans whenever a mildly pretty girl looks at you. Whenever you’re with a woman ask yourself if she’s worthy of you. If you pedestal her you won’t get laid.

    Like


    • on July 7, 2011 at 12:55 am A hard reign held up by rage

      I didnt pedestal her. I felt really good about talking to an attractive woman. It wasnt her, it was the situation.

      Like


  41. Where to meet interesting women apart from bars – riding the train/subway to work/school, at the grocery store – especially in the produce and butcher departments, sitting at a higher class bar having dinner by yourself, bookstores, at a Church but not during Mass, just walking down the street, at a park, at a community event, at a political rally, at a sports arena during a game, before or after an amateur event like a 5K run or sprint triathlon. If you are looking at coffee shops or bars, try going at a slow time to one with a hot chick working the bar and make time with HER, not with other customers. This can work at other retail establishments too. The best looking chicks are working the establishments with the best looking women coming in as customers.

    How to attract them – be interesting, confident, well dressed, in shape, and appear to have money – get your shit together.

    Don’t put yourself down.

    Be confident.

    Your streelight episode is a perfect example of what you need to do. Practice this by walking down the street and trying to get women to notice you and smile at you without your doing anything but looking at the eyes (and their tits). It won’t take long before you are talking to another girl again that way.

    Be confident and carefree. Women can smell fear and need.

    Like


    • on July 7, 2011 at 1:07 am A hard reign held up by rage

      They might be able to smell fear but not neediness, as I dont do anything aggressive at all. I do what you wrote in the last paragraph. I already stare at every good looking girl I walk past, and I have had a lot of women smile at me. I dont really know what to do from there though. And before anyone writes “you turn around and go talk to them”… its much much harder to do this in practice. In theory its fine, but in practice, everything happens very quickly and I forget all of my openers and what to say.

      My main issue is that my lifestyle doesnt include me naturally being around a lot of women. So most of the times I see pretty women its on the street, on a bus or on a train. I find those places much more difficult to open than in a lift or something. E.g. the other day when I was walking home from work, I saw 2 hot girls on seperate occassions and the time from seeing them to them walking past me was like 5 seconds literally. How the fuck am I supposed to react in that time frame? What do I say? Serious question. “Hi I just saw you and I think you’re cute?” I feel pretty ingenuine with something like that.

      But I’m slowly getting over it – I did my first direct approach a month or so ago on the street – I said “Hi I saw you in that shop and I think you’re cute so I wanted to say hello” – girl said “Oh hi I have a boyfriend and I’m just walking my dog” and she walks off. I cant think of a response quick enough. I felt slightly shot down but more so I felt surprised that this woman just completely turned down a minute with a nice looking guy. She just walked the fuck off. I’m not terrible looking. And I basically just wanted to talk to her. She wasnt even very good looking either, but she just walked off and made her decision in a split second and didnt look back. Crazy. I cant imagine she’d get approached all the time.

      That incident made me feel as though I really am going to have to go through tens and tens and thousands of women, in a cold blooded (while still being playful!) manner because they really are the by default high value sex. If they’re going to reject me like that at the drop of a hat I’m going to have to shamelessly plow through them.

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      • Staring at girls = not good. You come off as creepy and desperate.

        You want to practice the art of the casual glance at her eyes and chest that manages to catch her attention and her eyes and get her to smile back at you, thus giving you an approach signal. You do this on the street not because you are going to meet these women, but simply to practice it for situations where you can meet women. Practice makes perfect and builds confidence. The point is to show an appreciation of her beauty and the effort she put into making herself look good today and give her a little signal that gets the hamster thinking that maybe she put that effort in to meet someone like you today. The smile back is an unspoken thank you for saying with your eyes that she is beautiful. All women want to feel others think they are beautiful and worthy of attention from attractive males.

        Women will size up a man on looks alone and make an inner yes or no in less than 5 second and before you have said anything or done anything besides make eye contact. If they like what they see in you when you do this in a casual setting they will smile and usually will give you an opener because she is now very interested in meeting you. You can sometimes even pull this off on the street walking in opposite directions, but it is easier in other situations. Once she makes eye contact and gives you the opener, you need a comeback that diffuses her anti-slut defense, because although she is now very interested in meeting you, she does not want you to make her feel like she is desperate or slutty for thinking you are hot enough to deserve some of her time. If they don’t give you the opener but have made prolonged eye contact and given you a smile, they are probably nervous or reserved, meaning you will need to do the opener yourself. Openers and comebacks are just small talk between two people no different than you might do in class or at a house party or at a store or at work, but with the added thrill of a little sexual tension. If you are having trouble, try more casual small talk in those places to get used to that sort of human interaction and what types of things people say to each other.

        It all has to come naturally too, which is why practice makes perfect, so that you can do all of this without thinking about it when you do it. You can’t work from a crib sheet. And she has to be attracted to you based on your appearance which is why you need to work on that as well – if your posture, clothes, hair, grooming, physical appearance, activities, etc. shout out “loser” or “nerd” or “dork”, how many women do you think are going to want a piece of that? Not many.

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      • @Hard reign

        I didn’t read everything you wrote as you’re more wordy than I used to be. But I picked up your main problem quickly:

        You have to get over whatever (mother taught?) moral problem you have with telling white lies. Your mother fucked you over if she taught you not to tell white lies to women.

        You see a girl walking her dog in the park and you ask directions or ask where the best places to walk dogs are. Women want that non-intrusive type of approach. Sometimes I will say “Hello” if I know we’ll run into each other again. Sometimes I will ask if we met somewhere before. Most of this are lies. All of it is manipulative. So what? It works and keeps them calm and feeling safe about the idea of a stranger talking with them.

        I can’t imagine ever telling a total stranger on the street the truth that I want to talk with her because she’s attractive. Not in the first 10 seconds.That scares women too much. Maybe after the first 10 seconds you can move in that direction. They want you to tell them a white lie so they can feel comfortable.

        If you want to get over the temporary problem you clearly seem to have, think of Jack Nicholas in “A Few Good Men” saying “You want the truth, you can’t HANDLE the truth.”

        In the first 10 seconds women don’t want the truth.

        And you should get over any guilt you have about your prime directive being switched on 24 hours per day if you can handle that.

        Example: This morning I was in a new city taking a taxi to a destination. On the way I had to ask the taxi driver to stop 4 times because I just had to meet some hottie I saw on the street. I got one great number out of that (on two occasions I hit the abort button on closer viewing of the target). The driver was laughing. I had to chew him out for letting one woman hear him laughing (not cool).

        Any guys who live in cities: If you are on a subway train and you see someone interesting on the platform not getting on, get off yourself, meet her, and take the next train. You are allowed to do that. It’s not “dishonest” in itself even though whatever you open a woman with will probably not involve immediately telling the truth that you just got off the other train to be able to meet her.

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      • Yeah, Hard Reign is projecting how HE is on to women, imagining how HE would react if a STRANGER (eek!) were to just come up and start TALKING TO HIM (double eek!). No HR, women are DIFFERENT. What makes them have the attraction reaction is very different than what in a woman makes YOU have it for her.

        But also treat her like an adult in the sense that she is responsible for her actions, not you.

        Rule #1: treat yourself w/ respect
        Rule #2: keep her guessing
        Rule #3: don’t be mean

        If you can find the intersection of these three, you will be crowned Prince of the Realm!

        Like


      • Google KrauserPUA. Look through his archives from last September through currently. He demos day game, and is good at it.

        Like


  42. Great post. Welcome back, Roissy.

    Like


  43. I find my wife’s company absolutely delightful and the feeling is mutual based on how she treats me. I have no desire to cheat but probably would if it was easy pickings and discrete. Call girls work fine if all you want is some strange leg. I’ve had enough affairs with married women to find the whole business boring now. I simply have no desire to listen to the drama of my life schtick most women expect you to listen to and pretend to care. We spend a lot of time together and talk a lot together. We still have sex 15-20 times a week too. It’s been that way for five years. We also do a lot of the things discussed in the article, but it just comes naturally.

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  44. Now that I’m in an LTR I find that it’s far easier to game chicks into bed than it is to maintain the longer-term engagement.

    They constantly shit-test and as this post above suggests, the minute you start getting comfortable, you start to lose the alpha cred that got you there in the first place.

    The 16 Commandments of Poon are a constitution of the pua and there are great posts here on “Dread” and “How to Revive a Flagging Relationship” but at the heart of all this is inner game.

    The minute a guy starts to cave into shit-tests, or loses the ability to tease and reframe, the relationship begins to suffer.

    I found this epiisode of Louie that everyone should pay close attention to.

    Louie.S01E09.Bully.HDTV.XviDFQM.avi

    http://embed.videoweed.es/embed.php?v=0cdpehduuhqlr&width=600&height=480

    Forward to 8:15 when Louie meets the bully.

    Then note how his date reacts. Yes, it’s a tv show, but the message in this explains the importance of game and how women think better than any pua site I’ve seen bar this one.

    Her: “No, you did the right thing…I would never want a guy to fight, it’s so stupiid, I’d be pissed if you did and being violent is just the dumbest thing ever…But uh…if i’m being totally honest that was a total turn-off seeing that…I can’t help it. It’s like a primitive thing or something. You see this guy totally debase himself and it’s like just to be safe…a turn-off. Listen look, I’m a grown woman and my mind is telling me that YOU are a great guy. BUT MY CHEMISTRY IS TELLING ME YOU ARE A LOSER.

    Every guy aspiring to game or an LTR needs to watch this clip and digest it.

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    • Regarding the video… Well, I think the situation bothered her because he played strong at first and then weak, like posers do. If he wasn’t to put up a fight, he should have played safely right from the start.

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  45. I appreciate this essay, Roissy. I’m recently married – though before I get tomatoes pelted at me, I should say it’s to a pretty and devoted girl who hates feminism with a passion and basically has June Cleaver as a role model. Do I have the primate urge to look elsewhere on the side? Sure, but I plan not to because the kind of LTR I have is frankly a pretty sweet deal.

    Game was something I discovered not long into our relationship, and I can already tell what good it’s done and what good it’s likely to continue to do. I know the odds are rough in marriage these days and it’s frowned upon at the Chateau, but I’m pretty sure the principles you discuss are the best way to keep a marriage healthy, despite the frequent stereotype of game as purely the province of the bar-hopping Lotharios. Here’s hoping – I guess I’ll either be a shining example or a terrible warning…

    Like


    • You should do a google site search here for Roissy’s “Relationship Game Week” Particularly look for the post devoted to collecting some of Dave from Hawaii’s best comments previously here at Roissy’s. The comments to that post are well worth reading too, esp. D f H’s additional comments there.

      Like


  46. Of course, one could just tell your LTR from the beginning that you’re going to fuck other women. My old roomie told his girlfriend from day one that he was still looking for the one and fucked two chicks (that I know for sure) on the side while dating her. Then the guilt got to him and he’s settled for her only, is codependent and very unhappy.

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  47. The biggest hazard is losing inner game and confidence.

    Like


  48. Of course, one could just tell your LTR from the beginning that you’re going to fuck other women. My old roomie told his girlfriend from day one that he was still looking for the one and fucked two chicks (that I know for sure) on the side while dating her. Then the guilt got to him and he’s settled for her only, is codependent and very unhappy.

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  49. In the comedy series Louie staring Louis CK which I’m really into now, Louie is on a date in Episode 9 Bully.

    http://www.letmewatchthis.ch/tv-353439-Louie/season-1-episode-9

    You can download it from here.

    It sums up the trap of relationships. In this case it’s a date he’s on and it’s a comedy so the situation is exaggerated for comedic effect, but the subtext is all about why women need to be gamed and lead…

    The situation involves a bully who comes over and threatens to beat Louie up unless Louie agrees to beg him not to. Louie appeases the kid and the gang all laugh and walk away triumphant.

    His date says…

    “You did the right thing…

    Louie: It was pretty humiliating.

    Her: Yah…I would never want a guy to fight, it’s so stupid. And being violent is the dumbest thing ever…and who cares what you gotta say to get the guy off your back, I totally feel that way but…uh…If I’m being totally honest, that was a total turn off seeing that…it’s like a primitive thing or something, you see this guy totally debase himself just to be safe, it’s a turn-off…

    Louie: That’s why there’s wars and stuff. Women like you that chose stupid strong people over the weak and gentle.

    Her: I’m a grown woman and my mind is telling me you’re a great guy, but my chemistry is telling me you’re a loser…

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    • That episode was a laugh-fest. The Louie character, and derivatively, Louis CK himself, is a great example of a beta who works hard to justify the moral superiority of his betaness. The concluding episode of the first season is a perfect example. He ignores his unhappiness, his inability to find any half-decent lay, and simply claims that he is happy and superior to others because he takes care of his daughters. Keep in mind this is man who was divorced (in the show and in real life).

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      • Right which brings up another hazard of LTR, beta-reversion and rationalization of that.

        Louie rationalizes his betaness by saying he’s raising two daughters and that’s satisfaction enough.

        But in the show he’s extremely angry and desperate with women.

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      • @walawala and @Killer Instinct,

        If what you’re suggesting is that Louie is copping out and presenting Beta-hood as a superior or alternative ideal, I respectfully and completely disagree.

        Louie embraces his Beta-hood, but as scenes like the above reveal, he is under no delusion about his relative standing within the matrix. He openly laments both his own inability to compete in the sexual marketplace (see his routines about his own weight and other sexual misadventures) and the social apparatus/indoctrination surrounding modern sexual relations.

        He has the True Comic’s gift of seeing with ruthless clarity and insight. Like Pryor or Catlin, there is outrage but also understanding.

        When he was married, he joked constantly about how much marriage sucked and about his wife’s indigence; now that they are divorced, he very conspicuously refuse to go back to that comedic well and badmouth her. I think that’s admirable. Instead, he has targeted the insidious subcultures of modern womanhood that spread the same pretty lies that this blog was designed to pierce.

        I’m not arguing that he’s not a Beta. But he rages like an Alpha, with righteous fury.

        Also, when you consider his devotion to taking such an active role in raising his girls, presumably so they will grow up disabused of the illusions their mother may attempt to propagate, and the fact that he is widely, widely recognized as the hardest-working, most relentlessly innovative professional stand-up in the world, you have to at least credit him as a higher-Beta/comic Alpha n’est-ce pas?

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      • Meant to say “Like Pryor or Carlin…”

        Stupid iPhone.

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      • > I’m not arguing that he’s not a Beta. But he rages like an Alpha, with righteous fury.

        Yes, however the situation is such that it seems Louie’s trying to make himself look tough because he’s confronting kids. As soon as one of them kids turns against him, he folds. Moreover, the kid takes over and Louie allows him too much freedom of movement and he does not step in when such kid annoys his date. Had Louie really felt he had done his best, he neither would have felt humiliated nor he would have felt the urge to justify his actions to his date.

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  50. wow! roissy, that was deep!

    I still cling to being single(always not in a relationship) to pursue any woman that i’m attracted to. tried commitment and after 6 months I ended it. broke her heart, yes. but I was happier being single again.

    but I know, one day, I have to commit.

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  51. I’ve also been a huge advocate of LTR as the true expression of love whom marriage is a mere surrogate invented by the Big Brother. However, I happened to read a post (Christian site warning) noting that an LTR is the ideal arrangement for the hypergamous woman, which of course comes at the expense of the man. I got shocked at the observation and now my enthusiasm about LTRs has cooled down to the point that I’m starting to see it with bitter cynism. I’m not and alpha able to get away with it, and have the impression of being seen as a mere pastime. My question is: how can I frame the LTR so I don’t walk right into the girl’s evil scheme of playing with me just for enough time for ther to catch something better?

    [Editor: Theoretically, women can string men along until a better deal shows up, but remember that your window of attractiveness to the opposite sex is much larger than any woman’s. If any stringing along is to be done to the benefit of one party, it is usually the man’s.]

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    • [Editor: Theoretically, women can string men along until a better deal shows up, but remember that your window of attractiveness to the opposite sex is much larger than any woman’s. If any stringing along is to be done to the benefit of one party, it is usually the man’s.]

      Can you shut up about this ‘window of attractiveness’? It makes me very anxious. Do you want the readers of your blog (who like you and read your posts carefully and gratefully) to make irrational panic-driven decisions? And possibly make a fatal mistake and screw up their only opportunity to find a good man and be happy ever after?

      [Editor: Time’s a tickin!]

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      • Oh my god, how mean people are here with me. Should I keep reading this blog for a few more minutes or should I quickly run out of the house to find a husband before it’s too late? Should I ever laugh again or is it better not to, to keep my face look young and my SMV high? Can I eat anything else other than pure antioxidants?

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      • Maya I want to fuck your anxious ass and hear your desperate mewling. It’s cute as hell when a still fuckable woman (time’s a tickin!) whines about how mean people are.

        You’re making my dick hard you sweet swedish slut!

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      • Male readers will notice that Maya is not an American raised woman.

        In a world of such women, the anti-feminist part of this blog would almost be unnecessary, the words here being superfluous as young women seek to pair off early and a 26 year old woman would say “don’t remind me of the window, I know already”. There is a reason why the PUA and MRA scene is based mainly in the anglosphere.

        Maya presents a clue as to why guys need to consider leaving the US and the Commonwealth after age 30. I meet a half dozen who talk like Maya every month and it makes life sweet. Yes, foreign women love talking about the difference between alpha and beta and will say “I want you if you’re alpha.” I define it to them as a man who dates whom he wants and not the other way around (where women choose and lead the men like in the US).

        To me, the anti-feminist part of this forum is just a rear guard action to try to make sure feminism doesn’t follow the rest of us overseas. We’ve got the new child support treaties forcing US citizens to pay US child support rates to foreign women in their own countries, the Protect Act criminalizing any US citizen who gives a 17 year old something of value anywhere in the world, IMBRA which allows the US government to dictate how a US citizen can meet a foreigner in her own country (now only pertains to international dating websites that mention the word marriage but the feminist lawyers have gotten federal judges to say that the US Congress can, under the Commerce Clause, regulate the behavior of any US citizen overseas if that citizen engages in commerce to socialize in another country – such as in paying someone for an introduction).

        A prime directive of feminism is to stop US males from meeting more women like Maya.

        Ergo hoc loco pro hominibus (excuse the bad Latin)

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      • If you read my other posts you can see that I was raised among very very liberal people – with feminism, single mum, casual sex as a norm, etc. – although not in U.S.

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  52. I always thought the biggest hazard was the risk of her punching holes into your condoms and forcing you to deal with her your entire life.

    Is there any way to avoid this?

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    • Get fixed. Never have to worry about “the trap” again. Oh, and don’t tell ’em. Let them think it’s them.

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      • Research the facts about vasectomies and PVPS before you get snipped! OUCH!!! 15-20% of vasectomy patients get PVPS and it’s BAD.

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  53. I can understand cheating, shamelessness on the other side I cannot.

    On my freshman year of college I dated this frathead who used to hook up with sorority sluts from time to time, I was ok with it since it was relatively discrete, he was happy and I was happy too. Until he slept with this girl who wasted to chance to try to make it public. He begged me to stay with him, but there’s a difference between understanding and humilliation.

    A woman can put up with her man cheating as long as nobody else knows about it.

    Like



    • A woman can put up with her man cheating as long as nobody else knows about it.”

      Please tell me you are not serious? No decent woman with any kind of self respect will accept cheating from a man she is in a LTR or marriage with. NOT TODAY. We don’t have to. I’d rather fly solo & use a vibrator than accept infidelity. Men are nasty and there are too many nasty disgusting diseases floating around for any decent woman to be okay with openly sharing a partner who wants to screw other women. I can find other things to occupy my time. Women depserate for any kind of male companionship will accept infidelity.

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      • Neecy, I’m really happy that there is someone else worried about the diseases. HPV is practically everywhere, you can get HIV having oral sex, etc.
        Sex IS dirty, after all. I’ve been raised up believing that I shouldn’t believe that sex is dirty. Everyone was saying to me that sex is just FUN. So why don’t I want to have fun?! Even my own father, worried about me still not having any boyfriend while being over twenty said that I should go to parties more, get drunk and have some fun with boys. (I actually don’t drink alcohol anymore – I stopped it at the age of 18 so I though that my father is just pathetic).

        I wouldn’t be okay sharing a partner either. I can’t imagine my hypothetical boyfriend having sex with some dirty sluts. I would be okay with him having sex with other women only in case they were beautiful, young and clean. But these women can easily find their own high-value partner. Besides, I would be afraid that he will fall in love with any of these beautiful women and leave me …

        I think I might live in a harem. I would have an alpha man and if I’m completely honest I think I’m slightly bisexual.

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      • Mya,

        If a woman chooses to allow herself to be in an open relationship where her partner is free to sleep with whomever they want, then that’s your business. However, i find it disturbing that you believe in this whole idea that you can determine who is “clean”. Just b/c someone is “young and beautiful” doesn’t mean they are “clean”? How do you determine who has what? How does one determine what a dirty “slut” is vs. a non dirty slut? How do you know who is carrying what diseases? There are a lot of women who look unclean but may not have diseases, and women who look clean who do.

        I’m not sure how old you are but trying to determine who is clean and disease free by simply looking at someone or making assumptions really isn’t mature or safe thinking IMO.

        This is why I am saying that anyone who is sleeping with more than one person is risking their sexual health and the sexual health of an unsuspecting partner who believes they are in a monogamous relationship.

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      • I didn’t say that I believe I can determine anyone’s STD status by looking at them. I wasn’t clear. Sorry. I would probably never have sex with anyone before they show me the STD tests they did. Seriously. I see how people behave today and I don’t trust anyone.

        All I wanted to say is that I could share a man with a woman I would also be attracted to (young, beautiful AND clean (=STD free)) in case I lived in such society where this would be normal. But I don’t.
        I prefer monogamy though.

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      • Oh ok – got it and now I see you are saying that you are possibly bi sexual which makes more sense.

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      • You two delicious prattling whores need to be fucked hard and bagless in your fat asses and now!

        Maya and Neecy you need to grasp this basic fact!

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      • Eating spinach can get you salmonella. Still, spinach is good. Same with pussy. And, though I’m tempted to suggest a threesome with Maya and Neecy (strictly for therapeutic purposes), I think I’ll pass.

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      • on July 7, 2011 at 12:18 pm DiamondEyes

        You set up the shaming frame right off the bat. “no decent woman with self-respect” is supposed to imply that if you disagree, you’re not decent and have no self-respect.

        What you state here is a sham. You WOULD very much acquiesce to being a harem member – with the right guy, and in natural conditions. As long as you can rob the taxpayer with your assistance payments and make-work jobs, you can pretend to be a self-sufficient woman.

        In a world where you faced the natural consequences of your actions, you would need a resource-providing alpha to keep you and your kids alive. You would put up with anything he required, including open polygamy, and disciplinary beatings.

        Additionally, women do in fact sleep around with multiple partners and men who have multiple partners, as a matter of course in every big city in America. They rationalize their lack of condom stringency with such gems as “he seems like a clean guy”. It is only under the guise of the LTR that the hypocrisy is revealed, when women start chirping about the health dangers of infidelity. It is just a means to control the guys dick. It wasn’t a concern when she was on the alpha cock carousel having one night stands from bars twice a week.

        It all boils down to the fact that females loathe sexual competition and the anxiety it produces, and will use any nefarious means at their disposal to squash competition and monopolize a man’s sexuality.

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      • Diamond Eyes,

        First of all we cannot even have a discussion if you whole angle is that all women sleep around with any and everybody. You are assuming that all women were/are “riding the cock carousel” all their lives. Yes there are many women today who have relaxed liberal views on sex but there are just as many who don’t. That is a common theme I see being repeated at this blog which says to me that most of you have only dealt with a certain kind of woman. Not all women sleep around. There are a lot of women who are very picky about who they choose to sleep with.

        Second. You said women “loathe sexual competition”. Uhm newsflash. Sex is not hard for ANY WOMAN to get. You act as if sex is some hard commodity to come by for women. So no, smart females do not LOATHE sexual competition b/c you cannot compete for something so easy to come by. Only silly clueless women get an ego boost out of sleeping around in general – b/c they are in denial, unaware, clueless about the reality that its not a hard task to bed a man.

        At the end of the day any woman can do with her vagina what she wants. I cannot imagine a sane or decent woman saying to herself “oh yeah I am okay with my partner whom I am supposed to be in a monogamous ltr with, sleeping with whomever whenever he wants” and not thinking about the disgusting nasty sexual diseases floating around out there and how much of a higher risk she puts herself in by accepting this kind of selfish behavior that benefits NO ONE but the male doing it.

        Men will sleep with ANYBODY to get off – even pay prostitutes for sex. Women who sleep with all kinds of people daily. That says right there how most men have no real requirements about who they choose to sleep with. And b/c of that women have to be smarter and protect our sexual health b/c MEN ARE NOT GOING TO.

        Like I said – anytime an person lies to an unsuspecting partner who believes they are in a monogamous sexual relationship and the lying partner is out screwing around behind their backs – its scum low life behavior. PERIOD.

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      • on July 7, 2011 at 5:24 pm Rutherford B Hayes

        Nice feminist talking points Neecy.

        Like


      • Actually I am not feminist when it comes to male/female relationship dichotomies. I am firmly traditional and very aware of the differences between the sexes. A feminist typically believes women can do what men do in every arena. i don’t, and I don;t think women should try to do what men do. I believe in femininity and masculinity and believe they are both mutually exclusive.

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      • In a world where you faced the natural consequences of your actions, you would need a resource-providing alpha beta-provider to keep you and your kids alive.

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      • It all boils down to the fact that females loathe sexual competition and the anxiety it produces, and will use any nefarious means at their disposal to squash competition and monopolize a man’s sexuality.

        Pretty much any commentary any woman has about relationship and most of everything else boils down to this.

        Like


  54. […] was back in the Citizen Renegade building today to deliver a real bossy post about LTRs, I recommend reading it if you are part of the small percentage of Game readers who don’t […]

    Like


  55. Shark .. speaking from some experience here.

    Guard your condoms with care, only you unwrap and put them on.
    Afterwards, wrap them in toilet paper and flush them down the toilet.

    Like


  56. on July 6, 2011 at 11:43 pm Chum-Churum

    Guys Help Me Out!
    How do I handle this situation like an alpha:
    Im in a LTR with a girl who I’ve known for a few years but we got together only a few months ago. Every now an then when I’m hangin out with her she would say that she always loved me, for that X amount of time I’ve known her and that she always wanted to be with me. Other times she would ask me if I known that she loved me all along etc. What do I say to that?

    So far I’ve either ignored it, drew her attention to something else, changed the subject, kissed her while she was saying it…

    Basically I’m trying not to go “YES MUNCHKIN I LOVED U FOREVER”
    Is there anything else I can do to better manage the situation?

    Like


    • Just keep doing that.

      It’s fine to show affection, but you’ll find it’s better to show intense affection sometimes, alternated with an aloof demeanor. Don’t play wuvy dovey unless there is some penetration going on. Otherwise, hang back, be cool, be slyly knowing. Guide the conversation 10% of the time, ignore her 80% of the time, and engage her the other 10%. When she is asking for affirmation, that’s not the time to engage in conversation.

      She should know of your affection without you directly stating it. If you are forced to do that, it’s like signing a cock contract. You don’t want to do that.

      Like


    • If you’re asking for advance on how to handle the situation like an alpha then you’ve already failed. Move on.

      Like


  57. I agree that multiple long term relationships are unstable. From three to six months is to be expected, but rarely you’ll get up to a year.

    Nature does build us to be happy sliding into monogamy. That’s what I’m (mostly) letting myself do now. I prefer not to extrapolate from a present romance to a future state of being coupled. All I know is that monogamous relationships can have a shelf life, and that after things get stinky, there is no shame in sucking up your grieving period (from 2 weeks to two years), and moving on.

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  58. The most valuable asset in a long term relationship (aside from stability) is commitment, which is born out of man’s commitment to himself.

    Unfortunately, these scenarios mentioned occur because Americans think that ‘commitment’ is synonymous with ‘complacency.’ This is why men have a flawed approach of “getting the girl” and women view weddings as the end, rather than a symbolic beginning.

    It’s a man’s responsibility to keep the ball rolling. A real man won’t be “diverted from his mission,” but instead commit to a woman who fully supports his mission while he maintains his focus.

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    • OH DEAR GOD a decent MAN speaks. Thank you 🙂

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    • /pointing and laughing

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    • Your meaning is just one big semantic circle jerk. Commitment to yourself. What a puffy cotton ball concept. It could mean anything and nothing.

      You are starting at the end goal of commitment, and then using any poetic language that makes you feel good about that as your rationalization for why your end goal is good and meaningful.

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      • Its common for one to say “semantics” when they simply lack discernment. When you grow out of your endless chase for female validation, perhaps you’ll understand the meaning of commitment.

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      • More cotton balls?

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      • Dude, I know that you think that you are saying something, but you aren’t saying anything. Just vague hand waving and poetics, but it means nothing more than you have a feeling.

        That’s fine to have feelings. But be cautious with inventing universal codes and ladders of meaning out them.

        You are doing nothing but feeling and handwaving. You can’t establish anything with that. And why bother? If commitment feels good for YOU, then go with it.

        Extrapolating more out from that is going start sounding stupid. If it hasn’t already.

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      • Like I said, you’re much like a 3rd grader sitting in on his brother’s calculus lesson: it all seems like pure rubbish to you, and the prof just can’t seem to speak english.

        When you get past your current stage of development, as you will, you will be able to understand what it means to commit to yourself and others. You’ll also realize that these feelings you so quickly dismiss are vital to being a man.

        I don’t mind your dismissal. I understand if you think I’ve gone mad. You’ll get it soon. I have faith in you.

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      • Dude, as I said, if commitment feels deep and meaningful and good to you, more power to you.

        You can’t logically posit or make an argument for that, though. If you are trying to do so, you are failing.

        It does not make your case to insult my personal development. It just points out your rigid narrow mind.

        You have no idea how meaningful and fullfilled my life is, and can not extrapolate that knowledge based on your understanding of commitment.

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  59. Despite the outright mysogony and bitterness against women I read on this blog, I still believe there are evolved males who do remain monogamous if they truly love and respect THEMSELVES and the woman they are with.

    While looking and fantacizing about other women is natural (just as it is for women to look and fantacize about men while in a relationship) its truly the evolved male who can control his urges and recognize there is a time and period for being animalistic and a time and period to grow up. No one forces anyone to marry or be in a LTR. It’s only the selfish INSECURE male/female who wants to “have their cake and eat it too” tricks their partner into beliving they are being monogamous, yet out screwing and risking the health of the unsuspecting partner. Its disgusting vile animal like behavior when you lie and cheat on an unsuspecting partner in a sexual manner and better believe you arse is going to get a nice dose of karma for doing it. Be a man, and be upfront.

    Most men who lived their lives while young don’t typically hold grudges and hatred against women and often are happy with settling down later when he has matured.

    The world is the way it is now b/c the majority of people are just like animals. No desire to evolve and mature. Just keep screwing – even with all the disgusting diseases out there. its mind boggling how anyone can see or view sex so casually these days. I guess no self respect?

    Sometimes I want to give up hope on finding decent men today, but I know they are out there are far and few as they may be. Decent women today just need to learn to enjoy being single enjoy the benefits of being able to provide for ourselves today and protecting our sexual health b/c it seems no one has any self respect anymore.

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    • While I mostly agree with what you say, it should be noted that decent men are saying the exact same thing about women. Granted, I believe the male has a larger responsibility because of his role to lead.

      With that said, we must be careful to blame the fault of one party. Instead of decent women sitting around wondering “where the males have gone,” they can take time to enhance their qualities, which will make them visible to the decent men they crave. Then again, we mostly attract mirror images of our inner selves. Should we not then focus on improving ourselves, instead of potential partners?

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      • was with one of my fbuddies at a restaurant a few nights ago. at the table next to us sat a group of loud talking women. not one of them was more than a 6.

        so they were yapping about the usual idiotic female drivel (another friend’s upcoming wedding) and of course the topic turns to men, and one of them predictably asks ‘where are all the good men?’

        in a really loud voice so the entire restaurant could hear, i said ‘WITH THE GOOD WOMEN.’

        their table was silent the rest of the night.

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      • 10 points.

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    • gay

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    • on July 7, 2011 at 8:40 am NolongerNaive

      I used to feel as you did but am starting to realize I was being naive. There is very much truth that a negative undercurrent has long since swept into the world and changed the culture for the worse.

      I now believe most women want an unrealistic combination of what this site refers to as an alpha/beta that is nearly impossible to fulfill and then judge the man harshly when the expectation is not met. Bitterness or newly focused alphaness is the logical although unfortunate side effect.

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    • Go away…

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    • on July 7, 2011 at 12:38 pm DiamondEyes

      “Most men who lived their lives while young don’t typically hold grudges and hatred against women and often are happy with settling down later when he has matured.”

      This was your most revealing statement of truth. Let’s break down the meaning: An ALPHA who has “lived his life while young”, meaning bedded tons of hot babes in his teens and twenties, is often happy marrying an incredibly attractive trophy wife later in life (and subsequently cheating on her 2 years into the marriage).

      The remaining 90% of men, i.e. Betas, are expected to settle with the female counterpart to the alpha – the bar skank. She slept with 50 guys in her twenties, racked up $25k in credit card debt, and wants to snag a provider as her market value begins its steep plunge.

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    • Neecy:

      As Mencken put it, a misogynist is just a man who hates women as much as women hate women.

      Like


    • I live in the UK and I struggle to see one decent woman a week I find very attractive (apart from in the gym). Perhaps all the good men have gone to Italy, Venzuela and Russia to find women who actually like to look attractive and don’t have girlfriends telling them it’s ok to eat ice cream and chips all day because beauty is on the inside!

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  60. Roissy, Last night I had a bro dream with you in it. I mean, the essence was you anyway. It was kick ass. You were showing me the ropes, going to stores to show me what to buy the right clothes, we bought expensive sports cars. And at the dealership, the salesman walked up to you ready to shake your hand. You towered over him, and did not extend you hand to shake. Instead you put a bro fist up high, which forced him to comply.. on your terms. Was dope.

    Like


    • You dream insightfuly. You probably also notice such subtle dominance plays in well crafted dramas, such as Mad Men, or House, M.D.

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  61. Keep in mind that Stephane is a coked out weirdo and the adorable Gita was doing all the work for him, getting girls.

    He’s weak horseshit who gets childish stupid girls. He has no Game that would work on the rest of the female population. The newest one is a foreigner.

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  62. on July 7, 2011 at 12:45 am And Balls...

    Lol neecy u mad

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  63. Permanent,

    Yes I agree. We do need to focus on improving self b/c a person can only fix and change themselves – not anyone else. But you do have to admit it is a bit disheartening to hear and see people feel no shame whatsoever in risking the sexual health of an unsuspecting partner. I am one of those who has relegated myself to just trying to work on myself and not feel as though I have to have any kind of male companionship for the sake of saying I am in a relationship (like so many other women I know who are miserable). That is why I can say I know I will find a decent loving partner b/c I will be just that myself. You are sooo right when you say that we attract what we put out and that is also why I have chosen to remain single for a period of time until I work on my own flaws.

    I also agree with your other post in which too many people attribute commitment to complacency. Its so clichéd now. Its like a self fulfilling prophecy. But if one has seen successful monogamous relationships where both parties are putting in their 50% share, you can believe that monogamy, marriage or LTRs don’t have to be the “tragic end”.

    In terms of the infidelity believe me I am also talking about women too. For every man who is cheating there is some woman opening her legs for him to do it. I also find many women today are so programmed to place their whole value in having ANY KIND of male attention that they are even willing to cheat and sleep with men whom they know are in relationships or accept being in open relationships where they are risking their sexual health. Its like an ego boost and I also find that disgusting low caliber behavior – no matter the gender.

    I believe that LTR’s and marriage should never just happen or be taken lightly. When they do, often times both parties end up bitter and unhappy.

    I believe this whole anti monogamous thing these days stems from the fact that people are too lazy to do their parts to maintain a healthy happy relationship with their partners. IOW’s they don’t want to do the work it takes to keep a relationship sustained.

    A perfect example of how women screw up in marriages with good husbands is I never understood this idea of a woman not wanting to have sex when she marries. This whole idea that sex becomes infrequent after marriage is mind boggling to me bc that is the one time I feel women should be more open and willing to have sex – in a committed relationship. That is the ONE time a woman should feel completely free to have sex whenever and however she wants. I have had some female friends/co workers brag about only giving their hubbies bj’s on special occasions. I find that selfish. I guess b/c I don’t believe in casual sex with strangers or just anybody, I find once you do find a man who is willing to commit and take a vow that should be the man you would enjoy having frequent sexual contact with and keeping his sexual interests among other things. So yes the pendulum swings both ways.

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    • Excellent insights here. You’ve got a great head on your shoulders, and women (and men, for that matter) can learn from these truths you’ve pointed out.

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    • @Neecy

      Having a harem doesn’t necessarily mean the man is having intercourse with all the women. Like Bill Clinton, I’m sure most alphas are “keeping it clean” mostly with hanky panky on the margins that gets them off but has no chance of spreading disease. That said, an alpha isn’t going to be following any rules but what his DNA tells him to do. If a 10 comes along and she’s super clean, all bets are off.

      Regarding men “evolving” I find the concept of short-term evolution credible mainly due to the fact that Civil War soldiers averaged 5 and a half feet tall and that can’t all be due to poorer nutrition back then (I’d welcome comments that show that, yes, it was and that real evolution takes millions of years).

      DNA evidence shows that, throughout history, 90% of all human females bred while only 50% of males did (males were killed off, ignored or cuckolded at alarming rates throughout history). That could clearly result in noticeable generational “improvements” in the traits in males that women have found sexy with incremental improvement in the appearance of females (the 10% that got left out in each generation would include the less attractive women plus, lately, feminists).

      But the above would not necessarily argue in favor of the biological advancement of beta males or even that being beta is genetic as opposed to the temporary result of being shiite tested where women tell young men how they are supposed to think, via feminism, chivarly or St. Paul’s “Christianity”.

      If anything, men would be quickly evolving not to be used as cannon fodder and not to be tricked into being the cuckolded beta provider.

      Studies have shown that feminists aren’t sexually attracted to men who agree with them. Throughout history, I’m sure that the most religious of men were ignored or cuckolded as much as women dared to.

      It is possible that the existence of DNA testing can result in less cuckolding of betas and, thus, less alpha progeny being secretly born. Alpha males should hate the existence of DNA testing because it means less beautiful married women will seek out short term affairs with them.

      One can argue that Christianity has had an evolutionary (biological) effect on white European males. Over 2000 years, it’s possible that a lot of the 50% of men who succeeded in breeding were the ones who were genetically OK with the teachings of St. Paul (an asexual freak who probably had syphilis).

      But the effect of feminism on evolution (feminism being defined as older insecure women regulating male sexuality)? Well, for starters, feminists breed so little and are selected by men only as the last resort. Just as communist males didn’t breed very well for lack of resources, feminists don’t either.

      The only way feminists can effect breeding is by persuading their few daughters and nieces not to have sex with men who can think for themselves. Ironically, the daughters of single feminist mothers are the easiest for older male non-feminists to date (lots of first hand experience here).

      If anything, feminism’s effect on evolution might have been to put the white race in jeopardy of being overrun over a 180 year period (I consider feminism to have begun with the “Great Awakening” evangelical movement in the US in the 1830s which coincided with Queen Victoria’s rise to power).

      It will only take the 21st century rise of one pro-male billionaire and the fall of manginas like Rupert Murdoch to put a stop to feminism possibly in our lifetime. The blip called “the feminist era” may have no more evolutionary effect than the reign of Caligula did (except the precipitous drop in white reproduction could have effects for thousands of years).

      It will definitely take only about 5 years for feminism to be destroyed once the process begins in earnest (say if male alumni insisted that their alma materi shut down women’s studies programs) because a competition between a new generation of non-feminists aged 18-23 vs older feminists would be no contest at all.

      I just don’t see men “evolving” the way feminists want them to. I really don’t. Especially knowing the studies where feminists themselves have proven they are not sexually attracted to.men who agree with them (doormats).

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      • Bottom line: If you are lying to your unsuspecting partner about being faithful – you are scum and will get everything you deserve. Other than that, if a woman is aware her partner is sleeping around and cheating on her and she chooses to risk her sexual health just to keep a man in her life, then that’s her business.

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      • Controlling women will make the assumption that a relationship is exclusive. The man will mostly never be directly asked to be “faithful” and, as discussed elsewhere, having a harem doesn’t necessarily mean having intercourse with all the harem members (the Bill and Monica affair was normal). An American feminist will actually try to enforce exclusivity because she feels she’s “empowered” to do so (note that feminism is not about equality but about control), which is why relationships with them can flame out very, very fast. But men generally don’t see it as a loss when this happens. It would only be a loss if every hot young woman was like that. That’s what feminist advocacy is all about.

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      • Evolution doesn’t take millions of year to create meaningful differences in humans, but it does take at least many hundreds of years if the selective pressure is strong enough, but more usually thousands of years.

        The differences in height from 1865 were due to nutritional differences. Most people didn’t eat that much meat that often back then.

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    • Neecy, wonderful post! I was also wondering how women don’t want to have sex when they feel completely safe (marriage) while they are able to have casual sex … It’s crazy. Oh, maybe they are married to someone who they feel is not alpha enough for them, who knows.
      I’m sooo happy to find this blog, because I was suffering quite a lot living with people who think sex can be casual without consequences. I hate casual sex. It’s disgusting. I hope I will be able to convert my friends (not likely, because we’re not so very young anymore, and with SMV falling it’s hard to face the truth that you lost your high SMV years with some immoral men) otherwise I will have to find new – among christian fanatics, probably. In country I live they are extremely rare and we atheists also look down on them, so I don’t know …

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      • being ‘completely safe’ does not tingle the vagina. this is why women who marry ‘safe’ husbands (betas) more often than not end up banging alphas instead of their husbands.

        there is no such thing as safety with an alpha. there will always be a real fear of losing him to any of the other women who would happily spread for him. this comes with the territory of being with an alpha.

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      • Well Mya, I have a couple of friends who sleep with anyone at the drop of a hat or penny. In fact, a very close friend of mine has no issues sleeping casually with men she just meets and doesn’t know as well as knows. I don’t judge her, I am still her friend. But better believe i get the earful of her misery and the consequences of her actions. Its not pretty..

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      • Maya wrote: I hope I will be able to convert my friends (not likely, because we’re not so very young anymore, and with SMV falling it’s hard to face the truth that you lost your high SMV years with some immoral men) otherwise I will have to find new – among christian fanatics, probably. In country I live they are extremely rare and we atheists also look down on them, so I don’t know

        You don’t know the Christian fanatics? Get to know. They are your best bet. Christians acknowledge Christ as the ultimate alpha, and Christian men are by definition enjoined to imitate Christ. De Imitatione Christi. Bearded atheist halfafags portray The Son of Man as an effete pushover for a reason — for a century pussies have projected themselves and their beta preferences onto the man who has “not come to bring peace, but a sword.” They shake their tambourines and strum their hippie guitars, crooning softly and tearfully about the one who “came to cast fire upon the earth”? No wonder you look down on them. Your image is skewed.

        Anyway, here’s the kicker (and you won’t get much of this perspective on these site). The truest leader cares deeply for those under his command. A leader must be stern and yet empathetic. A leader must master the delicate balance of love and pain. Christian men are trained to live that paradox, and while most fail miserably, at least they understand the goal. Without an intimate familiarity with paradox, the men in your life will gravitate toward one vice or the other, overdo the abuse or the servile pandering.

        With your background you are attracted to the abuse, hence your attraction to the harshness of this blog. You will chase that alpha phantom until it is finished with you, and in reaction you will swing to the other side of the spectrum until you are disgusted with beta. All the while you require the man who contains multitudes. “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.” At least pursue one who understands the complexity of the challenge before him. Until you focus on the proper ends, you will be used as a ping pong between extremes, and one day you will wake to find you’ve been all used up.

        You don’t have the ears yet to hear. Fine. You are going in the right direction and that is enough for now. Keep up the good work of “convert[ing] [your] friends,” spread the good news.

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      • “With your background you are attracted to the abuse, hence your attraction to the harshness of this blog.”

        No. I’m not attracted to the abuse! I’m not crazy! Mainly I like this blog because I think it’s very emotional, almost romantic. I like people telling the truth no matter how irrational they are.

        “You don’t have the ears yet to hear.”

        Why do you think so? I want to listen. Just tell me. If you still think you are right about my ‘attraction to the abuse’, can you please tell me your explanation in simple words instead of these metaphors. I do want to listen.

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      • The deaf “don’t have the ears … to hear” either. That doesn’t mean they don’t “want to listen.” You simply are not equipped, first by your sex and second by your background.

        And yet you are trying hard to overcome distaff disadvantages. That effort will save you if you maintain your apparent commitment to honesty. Your commitment to honesty is evident in the fact that you haunt this blogs like these (“I I like people telling the truth no matter how irrational they are”).

        You shall indeed hear but not understand,
        you shall indeed look but never see. …
        They will hardly hear with their ears,
        they have closed their eyes,
        lest they see with their eyes
        and hear with their ears
        and understand with their hearts.

        If I can help it, I try not to engage women in logical exercises. On this medium of pure words, we can hardly avoid it. Metaphors are the best way to go. Though I’m constantly tempted to believe otherwise, there is no such thing as straight talk with a woman. So please, don’t cite the “irrational” as though you have mastered it, much less can detect it. That is a dead-end for you.

        With the above, all-important disclaimer in mind….

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      • “there is no such thing as straight talk with a woman”

        ?

        “So please, don’t cite the “irrational” as though you have mastered it, much less can detect it. That is a dead-end for you.”

        ?

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      • Maya

        “there is no such thing as straight talk with a woman”

        ?

        Q.E.D.

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      • So how do you know this about ‘straight talk’ with a woman? Some really smart guy told you that? You made studies by yourself? Is it written in a Bible? You had a dream? Your mummy and daddy say so?

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      • You are attracted to abuse because all women are attracted to abuse, to some degree. A Christian man understands this impulse and modulates a woman’s simultaneous need for danger and protection, a modulation that 100 years of atheist feminism has conclusively proved the weaker sex unable to achieve on her own.

        Submit. We all must serve something or somebody. Look up the background of the pseudonym of this blog’s author, and scan (don’t read) the book from which it was derived. “I loved that he was so powerful I was nothing.” Become intimate with your nature, with the inescapable need to submit, but be certain with your life that you have submitted to one who understands how to love truly.

        Love is not an emotion, it is an action. It is consciously willing the good of another, often at the expense of oneself, often leading to sacrifice. Never submit to another human being, you are made for better than that. Submit to love itself. You will chase its shadow in the earthen vessels of a hundred alpha men and never find it. You must seek men who understand your split nature and are strong enough to contain it.

        I don’t envy you, it is not an easy task these days.

        After enduring a hundred years of feminist indignity, few men are in the mood to compromise, lest he come off as the “beta” chump his society expects him to be, indulging princesses unto his own self-slaughter: do a search for “soulkill” or “metadeath” on this site. No, most of us men have decided to go with the female split (in more ways than one) and tear off one half of your nature (the animal side) for our own purposes in revenge for a centenary deception. The man slowly awakening to his long-developing anger is well-represented on this site.

        Intuiting the truth of the emerging social dynamic without quite grasping it, you have resolved to descend into the tank of hungry sharks, willing chum because you know you deserve it. You do deserve it. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t noble men who will spare you your just deserts. Because while we are tempted to worship the power of justice, mercy is infinitely stronger.

        God’s bodykins, man, much better: use every man
        after his desert, and who should ‘scape whipping?
        Use them after your own honour and dignity: the less
        they deserve, the more merit is in your bounty.

        That’s the post-graduate explanation. Here it is translated into female, best I can, father to daughter: Seek a man who can protect you from yourself first. Yes, Maya, you have a will to danger, and that will shall have its day. If the man is truly Christian he will satisfy both contradictory desires, your punisher and protector.

        In the meantime, continue increasing your SMV every way you can. Spend your sexual capital wisely, you have a finite amount and a closing window of opportunity to invest it. Involve your father or a father figure! Forget the projecting-gay fetishists who fantasize on this blog: alphas can be dialed back and domesticated. Likewise, betas can be cajoled into upping their game. You have options but you have to proceed intelligently — albeit it may require an intelligence that beggars the capacities of a young but aging woman acting alone. Paternal guidance is suggested.

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      • Thank you for writing this.

        I met my father yesterday and he asked me why am I so skinny (I’m skinny due to my tiny bones, I’ve always been) and I said I am the way I am and that I don’t want to be fat because I want to be beautiful.

        He said that being beautiful is not important and that I’m obsessed and childish. Then he said that being beautiful is important only for young girls and that in two years this won’t be important at all. He’s always saying that for me, being beautiful is not important, but when he sees a sexy teenage girl he’s quick to say how beautiful she is. I said that I want to be beautiful because I want to marry (he finds marriage kind of old-fashioned, my parents were never married and my single mum raised an financed me – he didn’t give her ANY money) and that I think it’s easier to marry when you are young and beautiful, but he didn’t agree. We were talking about my new conservative morals and he was laughing to me! Remember I said that he said to me several times, worrying about me never having a boyfriend, that I have to go to parties more, DRINK and have fun. What’s wrong with him?

        Another father figure I could have … My uncle. What I got from him made me want to hide myself from all men an lower my SMV purposefully as much as possible – I didn’t want any male attention, because I thought I am not allowed to say no to men. This might not be as important as it sounds, but combined with the awareness of one-night-stands my friends had, feminism and Cosmo seems that I subconsciously came to conclusion that I can’t expect anything good from men.
        I have no father figure in my life and that’s why I want to find someone powerful enough to make me feel safe.

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      • Maya wrote:

        I met my father yesterday and … he said that being beautiful is not important and that I’m obsessed and childish. Then he said that being beautiful is important only for young girls and that in two years this won’t be important at all. He’s always saying that for me, being beautiful is not important, but when he sees a sexy teenage girl he’s quick to say how beautiful she is. … We were talking about my new conservative morals and he was laughing to me! Remember I said that he said to me several times, worrying about me never having a boyfriend, that I have to go to parties more, DRINK and have fun. What’s wrong with him?

        Your father is a deadbeat and a piece of shit who is running game on his own disarmed and damaged daughter. He is giving you almost precisely the opposite of good advice. To paraphrase, he has essentially told you, “Don’t worry about your physical beauty, now go fritter away what you do have on superficial commitments for nothing in return.” Wrong and disgustingly wrong. You need female game more than anything right now, and half of “female game” is worrying about physical beauty. What’s more …

        Another father figure I could have … My uncle. What I got from him made me want to hide myself from all men an[d] lower my SMV purposefully as much as possible – I didn’t want any male attention, because I thought I am not allowed to say no to men.

        … a woman’s ability to “say no to men” is the source of all her socio-sexual power. A father is supposed to “say no” on a girl’s behalf until she acquires the ability to say it on her own. (These are now pejoratively dismissed as “conservative morals.”) This is why virginity is prized in every culture ever known to mankind — yes, even in our modern cess pool, albeit strictly unofficially. This is why fathers own(ed) shotguns.

        You need another father figure. You were not given the skills to make an independent way through the gauntlet. You need reliable male navigation through this world of players, and here you are seeking reliability in those players. This is an echo of your uncle’s cowardly perfidy; you have been unconsciously programmed to seek chaos. That’s what the little girl was subjected to, and now that’s all the big girl assumes is possible. The wolves that prowl these forums will encourage that assumption in you as much as they possibly can.

        Like I said above, you require a man who combines an alpha’s familiarity of the real world with a desire that no harm be visited upon you. They do exist. It used to be a father’s job to combine this practical wisdom with tough love, but your father abdicated his duty. (Cf. “Daddy issues” in damaged women.) All these years later you are left with few good options, compounded now by the bad advice of predators who only know how to regard a young woman as prey.

        But, of course, there is another way.

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      • “So get started, and advertise your virtue, and be cocky, and back it up, and be patient, and persevere, and the good ones will find you.”

        How can I advertise my virtue? I get laughed at when talking about my new beliefs. What and how can I advertise? Nobody seems to care and some are even worried that I’m psychotic, talking about what I believe. Btw. what exactly do you mean by virtue? I can’t really advertise my virginity, of course.

        “up your game (50% looks, 35% virtue, 15% poise/carriage)”

        What do you mean by poise/carriage?

        “You build the foundation of a relationship with a man based on a mutual agreement about first principles or else all arrangements will be slipshod and temporary.”

        What do you mean by these first principles? Do I have to accept that as a woman I have no logical thinking? I’ve spent all my youth for my career. Should I find a man who’s wealthy enough to support me and our five future kids and give up my job to become a housewife? No man today wants to do it.
        So how can I make an arrangement with a man? Is marriage important? Is it better not to force commitment and just risk everything with trusting him? Seeing how immoral men are today, I can’t do that.

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      • Maya wrote:

        So how do you know this about ‘straight talk’ with a woman? Some really smart guy told you that? You made studies by yourself? Is it written in a Bible? You had a dream? Your mummy and daddy say so?

        For real?

        How do I know? Experience. Long experience that never once has been contradicted. Including now with you, in this last series of posts: I attempted to talk straight about your inability to talk straight, and what was the result? A string of piqued babble.

        This is why — before feminism conquered the establishment — there used to be a medical condition called “hysterics.”

        You are better off acknowledging your limitations and working within them. This crazed rebellion against your nature is what gets women into trouble every time. Institutionalizing the rebellion has utterly putrefied the culture.

        I was under the impression you were here to learn about that true nature. You say you “like people telling the truth” and yet you react viscerally when the truth is spoken. You cannot do both with any sort of credibility. (But here I am speaking in syllogisms again that find no purchase in the female mind.)

        Some remedial reading for you:

        [M]en and women have fundamentally different thought processes. In short: men focus, women sample. A topic of conversation comes up and the guy wants to analyze it fully, drilling down to the tiniest detail and debating the pros and cons, while the girl wants to use the topic as a springboard to explore related topics. Biologically, this makes perfect sense, as men raise their status in big part by solving problems, and women judge a man’s strength of character by gauging his responses to a variety of scenarios.

        http://roissy.wordpress.com/2008/03/19/big-rapport-mistake/

        You are logic-impaired as a sex. You have little need for it the way men do, and so you never fully develop the capacity. You will now take offense to this bluntly worded truth — feel that atavistic femme indignation rising up through your tummy for me, baby! — and demonstrate my point. I’ll take wordless acknowledgment via a person’s deeds over verbal agreement any day. And with women? “Watch what I do rather than what I say” is the only option we have.

        Like


      • “How do I know? Experience. Long experience that never once has been contradicted.”

        YOUR experience. Some women (feminists?) believe that all men are pigs, liars etc. due to THEIR experience. With every experience they are more convinced that ALL MEN really are pigs, liars, useless. Some men (you) believe in their own delusions about females and with every experience you’re more convinced that you’re right. Your delusions are preventing you to see the truth.

        “I attempted to talk straight about your inability to talk straight, and what was the result? A string of piqued babble.”

        Sorry for that. I just wanted to ask you how do you know.

        Btw., I agree that oftentimes I react viscerally/childish. Doesn’t everyone?

        About hysteria. It didn’t mean specifically ‘inability to talk straight’, but it was more about symptoms of sexual/emotional dissatisfaction, as far as I know.
        I actually believe it does exist – I have it, it’s getting worse and makes me unable to concentrate on my career until I get laid. That’s why I rather write comments on this blog than read textbooks.

        About the differences of male and female brain. I agree with the original post Big Rapport Mistake, but not with what you added below. YOUR visceral response, read it again …

        “You are logic-impaired as a sex. You have little need for it the way men do, and so you never fully develop the capacity. You will now take offense to this bluntly worded truth — feel that atavistic femme indignation rising up through your tummy for me, baby! — and demonstrate my point. I’ll take wordless acknowledgment via a person’s deeds over verbal agreement any day. And with women? “Watch what I do rather than what I say” is the only option we have.”

        (in case you are able to recognize it as visceral)

        …is actually showing ME, that you are deluded and that’s why you keep reading blogs like this one. Are you happily married?

        Btw. What is logic? Are you a neuroscientist to be able to define it and put this word into sentence “you are logic-impaired as a sex”? Does it ever occur to you that you might not even know what the word ‘logic’ means?

        Like


      • Maya wrote:

        Btw. What is logic? Are you a neuroscientist to be able to define it and put this word into sentence “you are logic-impaired as a sex”? Does it ever occur to you that you might not even know what the word ‘logic’ means?

        It’s so cute when girls march around harrumphing in men’s button-down shirts. “What is logic?” Hush now, babydoll. This is not your fight. “I agree that oftentimes I react viscerally/childish.” Shhh. Daddy’s home. All is forgiven. Shhhh.

        Like


      • Since you are having trouble believing me, Maya, let me try it this way:

        Women are probably capable of some rudimentary logical thinking in a pinch, but it isn’t their default mental algorithm, and they won’t like having to be logical when they could defer to their insanely precocious feeeeelings instead. So when you engage a woman logically, assaulting her with the facts and bolstering your case, you are actually signing your own notice of dismissal.

        Girls despise logic and straight answers, because it sucks all the fun and unpredictability out of life, and girls need fun injected into their lives because they don’t have the creative chops to make fun themselves. So they lean on gay men or cocky alpha males to generate the fun for them. Oh, sure, girls can mimic logical thinking at the office, but that’s just an act. Once they get home, they revert to their more favored natural state: EMOTIONAL AMPLIFICATION BIOFEEDBACK.

        Remember … conversations with women don’t have to make logical sense.

        Do you (logically) agree with the above?

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      • King A,

        no.

        Like


      • King A,

        “Women are probably capable of some rudimentary logical thinking in a pinch, but it isn’t their default mental algorithm, and they won’t like having to be logical when they could defer to their insanely precocious feeeeelings instead. So when you engage a woman logically, assaulting her with the facts and bolstering your case, you are actually signing your own notice of dismissal.”

        If women had only rudimentary logical thinking abilities, how is that they are successful scientists, politicians, etc.? I know you will argue that there are not many of them, but women in general don’t have time and often no motivation for science and politics (they have to raise kids, because men don’t – men are busy increasing their SMV).

        “girls need fun injected into their lives because they don’t have the creative chops to make fun themselves.”

        That’s stupid.

        Like


      • @King A

        Wise old men know that it’s easier for them to become the lover of a young woman, even 40 years younger, than it is to become her White Knight Father Figure mentor.

        And this is logical on her part.

        Young women want men to be Alpha until they die. Former Alpha doesn’t cut it. The Christian bullshit of men entering an age of being a “fatherly advice giver” has always been just that: bullshit. At best patriarchs used this position to get sex on the sly and we know this was generally the case before the current feminist period.

        The host recently wrote in “The Definition of Beta” that a man who has given up and, thus, conceptualizes himself as a sexy young woman’s father, when he isn’t, is being severely beta. And the definition of beta is a man that women don’t want to be around (women want to be around men they feel attraction towards).

        Logically, young women see the “Christian Patriarch Act” as an act of a man having given up. They see the old church deacon, proselytizing about how she shouldn’t have sex with players, as a dishonest old guy trying to bring her guard down and get near her while using the severely beta tactic of bad-mouthing his competition. Even if he’s technically correct with his advice, as you were mostly above, if you’re not her actual father, she’ll see you as a loser for wanting to be that instead of being the alpha she expects men to be until they die.

        Think of altruism this way: no good deed goes unpunished. Christian men who sacrifice sexual opportunities are generally not looked up to by the hottest women. And this is because the women logically see the guy as not really being altruistic but for being afraid (to make a move on women, to take his clothes off in front of a woman, etc).

        I’d rather emulate King David or King Solomon. I’d rather send some hot woman’s husband off to war like the former id (just kidding, that wasn’t cool).

        Even if a man’s plumbing is no longer working in his seventies, a beautiful young woman would still respect him more for trying to look up her skirt or trading a weekend jaunt to the Bahamas in return for giving her an orgasm (a win-win situation for her if he has the power and can pull it off) rather than listen to him tell her how any form of sexual tension between her and him doesn’t exist and shouldn’t exist.

        That’s boring. And, logically, it’s hard for the young women or any other logical person, to believe that an old man could really be altruistic about wanting to be near and give advice to young women who are 1000 times more sexy than his wife is. Logic says he’s got an angle.

        Although I’m not saying women are generally logical, when they reject old men who have clearly given up the direct pursuit of happiness and seem (from everyone else’s point of view) to be attempting a dishonest angle of projecting piety to get close to young people, like pedophile priests do, that’s when the young women are being logical.

        Young women generally assume that an asexual old Christian man may as well spend his time with old Christian women. Any attempt by him to get close to a young woman will logically be seen by the young woman in terms of “what makes me more interesting to you than that amorphous old woman over there. After all, you are asexual aren’t you”?

        You can say up and down that you’re for real and you really are an altruistic older Christian man who’s plumbing apparently no longer works, but logic would tell a young woman not to believe that. The pedophile priest scandals are seen by most as the common sense result of falsely believing men can be altruistic.

        Having said that, I’m not saying the above fits who you are. I don’t know you well enough to make any personal criticism.

        I’m having lunch with an 18 year old woman who is looking for a boyfriend and wants my advice. I’m out of the running for that job, not because I’m too old physically (30+ years older), but because she and I both know she’s too immature for me to be romantic with. But, after lunch, we’ll have sex all the same. She’s knows I want that and she won’t deny it in return for the lunch and the advice. I’ve learned that women respect men who don’t give up but expect sex until they die of old age.

        Like


      • Jerry,

        I agree with everything you wrote. (although I believe King A is really trying to be helpful here, but if I talked to a man like him in real life – I would probably think he could be a little creepy, yes – it’s written in my brain (but I only can see it now, I was so brainwashed for my whole life that I wasn’t able to see this!) that since I’m (still) a young woman, all men could potentially want to have sex with me. And I want them to show me explicitly what they want – so I can either say yes or no – I hate creepy, dishonest ‘beta’ behaviour when someone is trying to be nice but actually has some bad intentions. That’s disgusting. If a guy shows explicitly that he’s attracted to me, that’s fine – I can at least pay attention to him and avoid him in case I don’t like him – but being nice and playing indifferent while planning to have sex with me is creepy and makes me feel disgusted. Again, King A, I don’t mean that you are creepy and I know you really do try to help me and I also believe you are about my age, not an old man.

        I was thinking about one other thing. What can a girl who never had a father do? Psychologist always suggest another paternal figure, but I always had problems with those paternal figures – they were interested in me sexually. This can never be a father figure! I couldn’t feel safe! I was afraid all the time. They didn’t want to protect me as father should protect a daughter. (Although, there are, sadly, also fathers who abuse the daughter, but I hope this is rare).
        I think it’s better not to have father at all then try to find some creepy “paternal figure”, what do you guys think? I had some problems growing up being almost without parents, but I guess this idea of paternal guidance is not good, because I think (I might be wrong?) that very few men are able to see young woman as their ‘daughter’. I can imagine this could only be very wise men with high moral standards, which is probably very rare – many guys on this blog don’t even understand that sex can never be just FUN for a woman and that it’s always something more. Seems that many young men today have no idea that sex once was meant for making babies.

        Like


      • Jerry,

        I read too fast and I type too fast … I haven’t really noticed one part of your post:

        “I’m having lunch with an 18 year old woman who is looking for a boyfriend and wants my advice. I’m out of the running for that job, not because I’m too old physically (30+ years older), but because she and I both know she’s too immature for me to be romantic with. But, after lunch, we’ll have sex all the same. She’s knows I want that and she won’t deny it in return for the lunch and the advice.”

        You’re so wrong, pathetic, deluded. I’m disgusted.

        No sane 18 y.o. with her SMV incredibly high (which is quite common at that age) will give her body away to anyone for free (or for lunch and advice, WTF is wrong with you?).

        Remember, for most of the human history, there was no contraception. Having sex meant making babies. There are NO genes today that would make a woman give her body away like that. My heart aches when I read posts like yours. You’re so very deluded and you know nothing about woman’s heart. You might know how to play the game, but you have NO idea what happens after that. Sane women can never behave like sluts/prostitutes.
        I believe in women’s hypergamy (I mean, who would you recommend your daughter to marry – a decent, dominant man or a lazy loser?), but women who behave like this 18.y.o. you described will end up really badly. I know you guys here don’t like former sluts, cougars, etc. and I really do understand you why. If I was a man I would only want to marry a young, healthy virgin and I doubt I’d fall in love with a dirty (STDs), emotionally hurt former slut. So, Jerry, why would you want to ‘spoil’ a young 18.y.o. and then, like many men here, accuse her of being a slut when she will be 28?

        Men, you have the women you deserve. If you are a real alpha, this is sexy and you deserve having sex with more women. If you are a loser who pretends to be an alpha to manipulate with girl’s limbic cortex in order to make her sleep with you and then leave her broken-hearted or disgusted (in case she finds out you are not alpha/decent enough for her SMV), then you don’t deserve to be romantically loved, probably. Unless you change. But there might be a harm that can not be repaired. Would you forgive a 30 y.o former slut and fall in love with her more than you could fall in love with a 20 y.o. virgin? If your answer is no, then your behaviour will not be forgiven, as well.

        I know about a celebrity in our country who used to be a huge player, having many many women. And they were always under 25. Now he’s over 40 and he still expects to have sex with young girls without commitment. He’s single, no wonder. And now, instead of taking a look on his own delusions he’s complaining about girls all the time. Like, how stupid, useless, hypergamous and slutty women are etc. He’s pathetic.

        But why women are so naive?

        Like


      • @Maya

        You’re thinking too much especially with something called ASD (ant-slut defense) where you think men care about maintaining the women in the world around them so they are unspoiled and ready for marriage with them or some other guy. My essay above was that not even older “Christian” males really care about that unless a particular young woman really is his daughter (a guy trying to be a White Knighting mentor who puts down PUAs usually doesn’t have any other type of game other than falsely pretending to a young woman that he wants to be an asexual friend).

        You’re seriously on the wrong blog if you think there’s a problem with men “spoiling virgins”.

        My 18 year old friend brought a friend of hers from the university. Both took off their summer dresses after lunch. She was having her period and the friend had just met me so it didn’t go further than a double hand job this time (this particular friend and I have slept together about 4 times this year). Then they agreed to meet again in September as they go off on vacation about now.

        No other man will ever learn that they were “sluts” with me and I will not ever disrespect them for it. What’s most important to them is that they know I’d never disrespect them for it nor publicize anywhere that anything happened.

        High SMV? Apparently my SMV and their’s was about equal. My friend was pre-selection for the other. That’s how it works in life. One woman tells another woman that a guy is cool.

        I did directly ask afterwards what the new woman was thinking about me. She answered that she was amazed by my courage in being straightforward about what I wanted. She said that was a major plus.

        A forty year old celebrity singer in South America should only just be beginning his sexual escapades. Forty is young. That’s normally when a guy stops being beta because he has to start compensating for not being so young anymore. If he’s doing poorly now, it’s because he never really became alpha and just had sex handed to him somehow before.

        Remind me not to go to South America if age difference is an issue with women there. Maybe the “feminism” you were taught included the worst meme possible for you to learn, which is the idea that you should date your own age. Men don’t want to date women their own age. They intend to date women much, much younger if they can pull it off. King A is very likely 30-40 years older than you are and not feeling himself “in the game anymore” which is likely why he seemed to want to try to be the next best thing, your asexual mentor. He’s not a troll because he’s honest about his anti-PUA agenda, but his attitude is obviously not normal for this blog which is the quintessential pro-PUA blog, and which is about guys learning how to get laid and not feel they have to apologize to feminists or preachers for that.

        Like


      • “You’re thinking too much especially with something called ASD (ant-slut defense) where you think men care about maintaining the women in the world around them so they are unspoiled and ready for marriage with them or some other guy.”

        Okay, I get it. So men don’t care? It makes sense. I wouldn’t care if I was a men, either. Who should care, then? Women themselves? And their parents? Nobody? But if nobody cares about that – than we have these 30 y.o. former sluts who can’t get married … They want to have a happy family/children, but nobody is able to fall in love with them, because they are too old and had too many sexual partners in the past.

        “My essay above was that not even older “Christian” males really care about that unless a particular young woman really is his daughter (a guy trying to be a White Knighting mentor who puts down PUAs usually doesn’t have any other type of game other than falsely pretending to a young woman that he wants to be an asexual friend).”

        You think so? Isn’t that creepy? Men are like that? I think I will avoid creepy betas even more …

        “You’re seriously on the wrong blog if you think there’s a problem with men “spoiling virgins”.”

        I like cute young virgins a lot and it’s painful for me to see them getting drunk and hooking up too much. Casual sex is dirty.

        “My 18 year old friend brought a friend of hers from the university. Both took off their summer dresses after lunch. She was having her period and the friend had just met me so it didn’t go further than a double hand job this time (this particular friend and I have slept together about 4 times this year). Then they agreed to meet again in September as they go off on vacation about now.”

        Seems that you’re a super alpha. That doesn’t sound so bad. Hope they will be able to find a husband as alpha as you are. Your friend has slept with you because she likes you and NOT, as you mentioned, in exchange for anything (lunch, advice). If you were beta, no way she would have slept with you. Why wouldn’t you keep sleeping with her? She might be in love with you.

        “High SMV? Apparently my SMV and their’s was about equal. My friend was pre-selection for the other. That’s how it works in life. One woman tells another woman that a guy is cool.”

        OMG, I know how things work in women’s heads, I’m a woman myself, so you don’t need to tell me that :S

        “I did directly ask afterwards what the new woman was thinking about me. She answered that she was amazed by my courage in being straightforward about what I wanted. She said that was a major plus.”

        I agree on that. Keep being straightforward. That’s very sexy. We don’t like creepy betas.

        “A forty year old celebrity singer in South America should only just be beginning his sexual escapades. Forty is young. That’s normally when a guy stops being beta because he has to start compensating for not being so young anymore. If he’s doing poorly now, it’s because he never really became alpha and just had sex handed to him somehow before.”

        Yes. He had sex handed to him.

        “Remind me not to go to South America if age difference is an issue with women there. Maybe the “feminism” you were taught included the worst meme possible for you to learn, which is the idea that you should date your own age. Men don’t want to date women their own age.”

        I’m from Europe. Yes, I was taught I should date my own age but I always wanted to have an older guy. Not too old, but 30+. Now I’m getting old myself and I should probably start to think about men even older. I feel that with 26 I’m too old for a 30 y.o. guy, I don’t know. But men over 40 are very very rarely attractive enough no matter how skilled they are in their game. I really mean it. I know guys who are amazing with their game, but signs of aging on their body and face make them totally creepy. Don’t you agree?

        Like


      • Jerry:

        You are filling in the blanks and not well. Maybe some projection is going on too. Such is the internet.

        There are other motivations for communicating with young women other than to try and fuck them. I realize that my claim will be subject to instant and implacable skepticism on a site like this, but let me try to authenticate myself this way: Do you really think I am putting anonymous moves on an anonymous girl who could be a 40-year-old Canadian lumberjack (who blogs in his spare time as a Syrian lesbian) running an experiment for all anyone knows? What’s my possible angle here? What can I possibly gain?

        Altruism will be mocked as weakness among self-centered hedonists: that cheap dig has gone with the gig since the dawn of man. But spare us the deep Beta Theory about what motivates self-sacrifice. “Betas” don’t jump on grenades in a misguided attempt to “game” his brothers-in-arms. (CRIMSON ARTS BLASPHEMY ALERT) There are higher motivations than the crotch. (/ALERT)

        A man of your age and experience should be wiser. Some men want to impart the wisdom they’ve learned with nothing to gain. Others are vainly deluded about the their senescence and think they can pretend nothing has outwardly changed over the five decades.

        The male cougar syndrome encourages toupees and sports cars rather than the face lifts and Spanx of the female version. The ravages are more insidious in men, though. Because the female drop-off is so pronounced and so sudden in comparison, men will pretend age has no dominion over their virility.

        I am here to represent a truth that this website either avoids or has missed, either deliberately or unintentionally, imagining as you do that it cannot exist among the zero-sum materialist interplay of genes and memes. Whether you have the ears to hear is a responsibility above my pay grade.

        But as old and bitter as we get, hard though our hearts become, and invested as we are in lies, there is a deep instinct in each of us that takes decades to finally snuff out: caritas. “No one has greater love than this, that one should lay down his life for his friends.” Or were you moved to laugh at what chumps those guys were at the end for dying to save Private Ryan? Same irrational impulse here, albeit on a much smaller scale.

        I’d rather emulate King David or King Solomon. I’d rather send some hot woman’s husband off to war like the former [d]id (just kidding, that wasn’t cool).

        You apparently aren’t familiar with how David’s story ended. I think you’re missing the essential plot point. See 2 Samuel 12 and Psalm 51. Or not.

        Like


      • Maya:

        Attempting to qualify oneself in an internet comment box isn’t just a pointless task, it is self-defeating by definition. Take my advice or leave it.

        Your creepy Uncle Jerry above is projecting himself onto me. My quality of life is permanently worse off for imagining he finagled a double handy from two chicks who could be his granddaughters. It’s like Goat.se in anecdote form.

        Here is the difference, and I hope it is clear. All men are tempted to be predators in some shape or form. Jerry and this blog’s author assume we cannot master this male predilection and therefore we must celebrate it. At any time before the modern sexual revolution, the mark of manliness was self-mastery. A man was considered unrefined and somewhat retarded if he couldn’t help but act on his impulses, like a mongoloid jacking off on the subway. Today we celebrate incontinence. This website is well-written high-minded hoo-hah to justify relieving thyself where thou wilt, pissing in your chair rather than doing the “beta” thing and going to the toilet.

        All of the cultural support for manliness, nobility, and chivalry has been stripped away. Therefore, those who insist on honoring virtue are considered naively retrograde at best, stupid dupes at worst. To be magnanimous toward a person is rechristened White Knighting. To consider a woman as something greater than a gene receptacle is regarded as beta slavering. Except when an alpha does it.

        In other words, the trick of this subculture lies in a semantical shift having little to do with the underlying qualities of a person and still less to do with truth.

        I am a Christian and that means — though I will never know you and can never directly help you — I love you. I love my neighbor, I love your Uncle Jerry, I love my enemies. Not always, not perfectly, but that is the purpose of my life. This declaration is baffling and controversial and absurd to most people because their experience of “love” is transactional: something given for something in return. They cannot imagine anyone doing it “just because.” They impute all of the lowest motivations to those who attempt living this way. What is the hidden angle? What kind of fool would give away all he has? What is he really trying to swindle out of her? What kind of “game” is he running?

        There is no game. Even in a place like this where it is impossible to get anything in return, the skepticism will irrationally persist. Whatever. I’ve made my case and done my job, effectively or not, I’ve run the race and fought the good fight, and I only ask you to pass charity along to someone who can’t repay you.

        I have run game on women my whole life. I am only recently discovering that there is a whole subculture here surrounding it. It’s a hoot. I get it — I really do — I am sympathetic with about 90% of the project. But that last 10% is the kicker. I don’t play games to collect pussy pelts and memories of a cum. I speak truth to collect souls. The psychology is the same, the goals couldn’t be more different.

        Players are vampires who suck the youth out of women so that they have a comely target to unload their fallow nut on. They shave off a piece of innocence, they carve a rut into a naive girl’s soul to get their rocks off. Business has never been better for lads and cads, we are amidst the biggest boom market in human history, hands down. What fools who do not grab what they can!

        Except they are still despoilers, clear-cutters and soul polluters, they uglify women from the inside out, and they uglify themselves in the process. A woman’s body is not a carnival ride, it is a temple. You don’t vandalize it.

        There are consequences to the victim, yes, but also to the vandal. Meet a porn producer, look him in the eye, and witness walking death. They have serial-killer levels of sociopathy for all the crime they have perpetrated on the gorgeous human form. They have a visceral emptiness where a soul used to be. You can’t use bodies as means to an end and not suffer erosion and desensitization. Hugh Hefner pops a viagra and masturbates to gay porn to get off these days, despite having two twenty-something twin girls in his bed. “Don’t you know that when you sleep with someone, your body makes a promise whether you do or not?”

        Or as you murmured into the abyss, “Many guys on this blog don’t even understand that sex can never be just FUN for a woman and that it’s always something more.”

        What if they understand but couldn’t care less? It’s not just the skeezy transients who infest these virtual whorehouses who don’t care. The entire culture has said you are on your own.

        Now I’ll admit it’s some trick to treat a woman’s body like the temple it is without “putting her on a pedestal.” If a man doesn’t have a reliable guide to how it’s done, chances are he’ll fail all in one direction or all in the other: unseemly worship or unseemly degradation. I have a reliable guide. And it’s so good I just want to share it for any with ears to hear.

        Like


      • King A,

        “Your creepy Uncle Jerry above is projecting himself onto me. My quality of life is permanently worse off for imagining he finagled a double handy from two chicks who could be his granddaughters. It’s like Goat.se in anecdote form.”

        My quality of life is worse because of that, as well. I said that I’m worried about their future, although Jerry claims how much fun those two girls had with him. I try to believe him. I really can imagine these two girls having fun. Although I’m sure this will have consequences. But who cares?! Apparently. :-S

        “I am a Christian and that means — though I will never know you and can never directly help you — I love you. I love my neighbor, I love your Uncle Jerry, I love my enemies. Not always, not perfectly, but that is the purpose of my life. This declaration is baffling and controversial and absurd to most people because their experience of “love” is transactional: something given for something in return. They cannot imagine anyone doing it “just because.” They impute all of the lowest motivations to those who attempt living this way. What is the hidden angle? What kind of fool would give away all he has? What is he really trying to swindle out of her? What kind of “game” is he running?”

        I want to believe it. But unfortunately there are not many men like that. At least where I live most men I meet are still in their prolonged early puberty.
        Although I was always a proud atheist (:-S), I am more and more interested in christian people. I admire them. The only problem I have is that I don’t believe in god.

        “What fools who do not grab what they can!”

        Yes. It makes me very sad.

        “A woman’s body is not a carnival ride, it is a temple. You don’t vandalize it.”

        I still know that. Although feeling a little (sometimes very) dirty from what happened to me in the past. I know that people who think sex is just for fun will feel empty at the end. Sex is so very dirty these days. I mean, men are dirty. And after having sex, girls are dirty, too.

        “There are consequences to the victim, yes, but also to the vandal.”

        Yes. And there are consequences to every girl and boy who has to watch it.

        “Or as you murmured into the abyss, “Many guys on this blog don’t even understand that sex can never be just FUN for a woman and that it’s always something more.” What if they understand but couldn’t care less? It’s not just the skeezy transients who infest these virtual whorehouses who don’t care. The entire culture has said you are on your own.”

        I’m hurt each time I hear a story about a hypergamous girl having one-night-stand with a man who never calls her back. But still, I believe they don’t know what harm they are doing.

        Btw. What do you think about contraception? And what about masturbation? If you feel like answering.
        I changed my view very much recently. I stopped with masturbation and I started to feel guilty if I still do it sometimes (No matter how already ten years ago magazines for (little) girls were writing how you never have to feel guilty about that and you should do it to have fun with yourself etc. etc.)
        And about contraception – I never before thought there could possibly be anything wrong with it, but now I started to think how unnatural it is. I decided not to have sex with contraception (I might change my mind, but only if married).
        I don’t want to have sex before marriage (I know it’s a little boring and makes an alpha look beta if a girl manages to convince him to wait and he actually waits, but I think it’s better in long term) and I told that to my friends, but they think it’s important to find a suitable sexual partner by tries and errors. Aren’t they crazy? I hate this sexual “experimentation” that everyone is doing. I know you might not understand it because you are a man, but woman’s goal is to find the best partner possible and THEN have sex with him and AVOID all the others. Today everyone behaves like you first have to try the sex and then decide. Gross. It’s cool for men, but for girls it’s terrible. Well, then I don’t agree and they start with that nobody will wait for me, because a guy I want has many other options and won’t wait for a 26 y.o. not wanting to have sex when he can have a girl much hotter than I am.

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      • Maya wrote: Although I was always a proud atheist (:-S), I am more and more interested in christian people. I admire them. The only problem I have is that I don’t believe in god.

        I don’t truly believe in God 99% of the time. Maybe once or twice a year on average I see that God exists, and I know to call him by the proper name, and then the epiphany is gone, and I am right back where you are, in disbelief, unrecoverable. That is everyone’s fate in this world, looking “through a glass darkly.”

        And yet we all have epiphanies, when something inexplicably good happens, or when you see something ineffably beautiful, and you just know there are forces bigger than our comprehension at work. The only difference is I have learned how to categorize that mystery and allow space for it in my daily life. All the rest is hard work maintaining the bare minimum of faithfulness. (Not unlike a marriage.)

        I want to believe it. But…” All that is necessary is to truly “want.” The rest is grace, your only choice is to accept it or reject it when it unexpectedly arrives from an unlikely sector in its own time.

        Where I live most men I meet are still in their prolonged early puberty.” We are reaping what our parents have (or haven’t) sown for us. If you demand better — and you have a little SMV to back you up — you will yield better quality men. Women (and their fathers) have ceased demanding virtue from men, so of course we’ve stopped cultivating it. Why not prolong puberty if you’re fucking us all the same?

        I don’t know enough about your specific circumstances to give you anything but these general platitudes, and generalizations often won’t pertain. But hope is a virtue, one of the Christian triad: faith, hope, and love. Hope isn’t a sentiment, it is an animating source of life that directs us toward good ends. If you cease to believe you deserve virtuous men, you will find only the vicious. And since there are so many of the latter, it will be easy to convince yourself amoral cads are the only ones that exist (with an assist from this website) and settle for the least horrible schlub. But from the start, you are looking in the wrong places for the wrong things.

        It should be enough for you to know that black swans exist to begin your search. You should be able to intuit where your target markets more or less are found. The truth is on your side, now that you’ve been exposed to half of it on this site. Boys who are rough drafts can be refined into men worthy enough to invest your sexual capital in. So get started, and advertise your virtue, and be cocky, and back it up, and be patient, and persevere, and the good ones will find you.

        If girls have one advantage in this game, it’s the advantage of the stationary egg. Movement is not strictly necessary and may in fact hurt you (sluttishness). All you have to do is hang out a notice of availability and the sperm you deserve will swim by with their business card. If you don’t like the quality of man who happens to be oozing your way, up your game (50% looks, 35% virtue, 15% poise/carriage) until better come around. Your proper prerogative is to sift and reject, a skill weakened in women by decades of disuse. A healthy young woman who hasn’t been used up and who puts out signals of submission will find more prospects than she can handle. Your sister-competitors are stunned and confused by the complete sterility of feminist myths, and they are either renting out their slots on the cheap or broadcasting their signals exclusively to the ideologically sympathetic beta hordes who forgot they had dicks.

        Men respond so slavishly as a sex to women that we misguidedly permitted feminism itself as a sop to the sexual supply side. The problem isn’t with women demanding their men be better: We are energized and inspired by your admiration, and humiliated by your contempt and indifference. The problem is when women demand we cease being men. We were stupid enough to allow even that self-destructive demand to lop off our manhood because you said you wanted it. Now the whole sexual scene has gone haywire, looters abound, and normal people try to make their way, best they can, unguided through the chaos. You still have time, and now you have the knowledge, to make a good run at it.

        But make no mistake — if you don’t attend to the more fundamental things discussed at the top of this post, it will be all for naught. You build the foundation of a relationship with a man based on a mutual agreement about first principles or else all arrangements will be slipshod and temporary.

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  64. I guess the key thing that you miss is that for many people, LTRs are the end-game. That’s what they want. Sex with multiple women may be great for you, and most men pine for this a bit, but possibly not as much as you do. Most guys I know just want to find a nice girl and settle down with her. You may insult them as being beta, and you may be right. But if it makes them happy, where’s the harm?

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  65. Paul,

    Trust me there are decent attractive women who do love the beta guys (preferably with *some* alpha traits). My i deal guy would be mostly beta with some alpha traits sprinkled throughout. Despite what is said on the PUA blogs, Not all women piss on their beta b/f’s and husbands. There is a certain type of woman who is dissatissfied with a good man – i call her a STUPID woman. LOL
    .

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    • Maybe these women are dissatisfied with a good man because they believe they can find someone better, more alpha, smarter, sexier. I don’t know. I just know I won’t be happy with a testosterone deficient, lazy and non-dominant man. I think a little beta is okay (because I also know I will have problems finding a real alpha who will want to marry me), but totally beta is unattractive to me. Now. I don’t know what happens in the future, when I’ll be desperate (and old and smart) enough.

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      • I’ve read it again and now I think it’s a bit silly what I wrote. I don’t really mean that in the future I will be ‘desperate’ enough to be with a beta … Maybe I will be more mature and won’t feel as powerless as I do now – than I will not have a need for an alpha to “take care” of me. I will probably think that an aggressively alpha male is just annoying and I will find a normal guy and live happily ever after. But now I still can’t get rid of this fantasy – having an alpha and being totally submissive … Okay, slowly I’m noticing younger good-looking guys – am I becoming a cougar at 26?

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      • Good luck finding a younger alpha that will “take care” of you.

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      • That’s ridiculous. I’m not going to. I just said that I find younger guys attractive. Sorry, I really wasn’t clear enough.

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      • A theory: “cougar” is relabeling the behavior of gals concerned they cannot pull alpha guys. In short, the cougar’s value is sliding, and she focuses on younger guys, because the cougar thinks she can pull a younger, proto-alpha male who displays traits of the alpha to come.

        The goal is to catch the proto-alpha when he is young, and then enjoy the upward ride as he ages into full-blown alphadom. Win! That way the cougar avoids, she thinks, competing for the late-twenties to early-forties guys now out of her reach.

        The cougar’s rationalization (one supported by her “you go girl” BFF crew), is she is a sexy, independent woman vivaciously exploring her sexuality, etc., etc. She knows better deep down, though, and all those cosmopolitans and days at the colorist cannot wash the knowledge away, any more than a pudgy, viagra-popping guy can convince himself he is still the 21 year old jock he once was.

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      • on July 7, 2011 at 12:47 pm DiamondEyes

        Maya, do your good deed for humanity: convince at least 3 of your radical feminist friends of its logical inconsistencies, and get them to renounce it. You will be rewarded by karmic forces with an alpha in shining armour.

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      • Haha! What a society we live in! I don’t blame you one bit for wanting an alpha, not one bit! But guess what? We men also want a housewife! We want you to bake cookies, just like you used to do! We are a society of overgrown children. LOL! You want a fulfilling career and an alpha husband – at the same time! LOL! I want a fulfilling career, and a housewife!

        lolzzllz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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      • I agree with you that we are society of overgrown children. I am.

        I want an alpha husband AND a fulfilling career AND be my alpha’s housewife who cooks him and bakes cookies. Which one should I drop out … I don’t know.
        While having a nice career and being single I’m fantasizing about being a housewife with a husband and kids.

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      • Hey sorry if I sounded mean, there.

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      • Hmmm. i don’t buy it. A woman knows very early on before settling down with a man what type of guy he is and what she wants. This goes for the jerks and the good guys. So I am not buying the whole thing that later on in the relationship she got bored or became dissatissfied with his personhood.

        Usually Beta guys are solid from jump street. Jerks – maybe not so. One has to be looking for the red flags, b/c jerks usually have to play a game in order to get the female to trust him. beta guys don’t play games, they are who they are. meaning, they usually don’t waver in character later on. So if a woman marries a beta guy whom she claims she is bored with – it wasn’t him that is the problem its HER b/c she knew this before settling with him.

        Me? Give me the solid beta guy over the Alpha. I don’t need or want don juan. I look at my HAPPILY married co workers and friends who are with solid beta guys and they are pretty much happy and satisfied. Of course, their hubbies are not overly romantic or sexy. But as one good friend put it “he is loyal, a great father and trustworthy’ THAT is what turns her on about her husband. And all of her married g/f’s who married the hot alpha guy are all unhappy. I as well as a lot of other women are turned on by Beta men who are smart, intelligent, EVOLVED, trustworthy, loyal. Some women like the don juan alpha. So be it.

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      • The smart move is to date and look to lock down in an LTR a less alpha/greater beta type who’s a good lot older than you and willing to settle down, having sowed his wild oats up to that point, when you are in your early to middle 20s. I’m talking a guy 7 to 10 years older.

        Your odds of getting a sexually hot guy who’s also stable and ready for commitment are maximized this way.

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      • That’s the best lonnggg term strategy, if you want low risk.

        Some girls have a higher risk strategy that can pan out well. Guys hate this fact. It depends on the girls social skills and looks, but some girls can snag a quality provider at age 30 as easily as they can tie their shoes.

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      • I knew one girl, who at 37, would get a new boyfriend every month. At one point she got married and then engaged to two highly suitable suitors all in the same month.

        Yes, I said and then.

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    • @Neecy

      Find the post called “Vulnerability Game”. A good alpha will know how to mimic enough beta traits to win against real betas, unless a real beta got there first and offered marriage with real estate, a diamond and a commitment. Even then, it may only be the existence of DNA testing that would keep a lot of women in that position from cuckolding the fiance and having him raise a child that isn’t his.

      I’ve been told by older women that, in their younger days before DNA testing, they felt like cheating more when they got the commitment from a guy who could be counted on to raise any child that resulted from any activity she might then have with a guy that had the would-be cuckold’s hair and skin color. Until he made the commitment, it would be too dangerous for her to cheat on him because, even believing the child was his, he might not commit. It was always one man’s commitment that freed women to sleep around.

      A young 9 told me yesterday that her older sister divorced a fool recently who voiced his suspicion that their child was not his. The sister then bribed a doctor to tell the now ex-husband that the child really was his so she could get voluntary child support payments for the next 18 years.

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      • Jerry,

        Why would an Alpha mimic a beta? I know my Beta guys like the back of my hand. They are solid and unwavering. Its easy to pretend to be an alpha, not so trying to pretend being a beta.

        jerry you and Diamond eyes have some pretty harsh views about women. What kinds of women are you meeting? I am not saying shady insane women dont exist but damn not all women are kaniving sluts looking ot get over on a man.

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      • Neecy
        I know my Beta guys like the back of my hand.

        thats interesting, but not really new information. most mexican chicks think like that

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      • Uhm okay. when was the last time you saw a Mexican chick with a curly afro? LOL

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      • all too easy

        hmm. well if i told you last sunday night, youd accuse me of bragging. lol whats wrong with mexican chicks anyway.

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      • @Neecy

        The reply tree on this thread is not working but I’ll answer here your question “Why would an Alpha mimic a beta”:

        Here is the second most important post IMO ever made here at the Chateau (I rate it only behind “Just Say Something”):

        http://roissy.wordpress.com/2009/01/29/vulnerability-game/

        The short answer is that alphas have evolved the ability to mimic betas in order to get the attention/dates/sex that women who think like you want to give to betas (and you think like lots of women do). A guy wouldn’t be alpha by definition if he was being shot down too much “for being too alpha”. So, ironically, an alpha is going to be as beta as he feels he needs to be in certain circumstances.

        Regarding the “harsh view” I don’t consciously walk around thinking I won’t commit to a woman because she’ll probably turn bad if I did. I guess I wrote that because of the surprising conversation I had yesterday with women who admitted that they started to cheat the moment the ring was on their finger because they knew any baby would be cared for. I wasn’t judging any woman I’ve dated on that score. Then again, the young woman I talked to yesterday was glad to know I was “aware” that women could do that to a man who behaves like a doormat. It said to her that I wasn’t a doormat and women like to know that.

        I put that stuff out about the woman bribing the doctor who did the DNA test as a public service message to all men who ever think about getting a DNA test to follow common sense and understand that, if the woman feels she knows the answer, she might get the results changed if she can.

        So it was not misogyny or a “harsh view of women” for me to post that. I was just warning men about what could happen. This forum is for such public service messages. 😉

        I date mainly college students who are virgins and I think highly of most of them in real life. One big reason (after the looks reason) is precisely the reason you care about so much: I feel they are less likely to have a disease than older women.

        Broadcasting the concept to males that they need to be more concerned about their sexual health, will (if done on a large scale) actually backfire against older women and non-virgins.

        Like


      • Ok Jerry got it..

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      • Jerry–

        What’s the story with state mandated child support in Eastern Europe? Does the state order it when not married or divorced, and what percentage of his income pre or after tax is it roughly? Is it seen as onerous as in the US, or light?

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      • @Doug

        The good news is that the air, food and water is probably better in EE than in much of the US right now, and thus great for raising a child.

        You’re aware of the treaty between Mexico and California that states that, California males need to pay the same amount of child support to a Mexican woman in Mexico that they would pay to a California woman in California. I consider this type of treaty to be the nastiest threat from US feminists, surpassing VAWA, IMBRA, the Protect Act and other extra-jurisdictional unconstitutional laws in terms of its potential to reek real havoc in an American’s life overseas and the potential to be enforced with the help of greedy foreign lawyers (thankfully, nobody sees dollar signs in trying to enforce IMBRA and the Protect Act which are meant to harass and criminalize men as opposed to steal from them).

        Feminists in the US are well aware of the concept of arbitrage and how, if the marriage and baby making market sours in the US, laws need to be made to sour marriage and the idea of making babies elsewhere or else men will go marry or make babies elsewhere. It costs about $200 per month to raise a child in Mexico so, naturally, the US feminists wanted to stop American men from economizing that way. I believe treaties between Mexico and other US states are well under way.

        The US feminists are trying to make these treaties with every country, including Russia and in EE. You can see why greedy people in every country would want to steal the dollars of US males when they can.

        Right now, if anyone officially marries a woman in Russia or EE, the various governments will claim a right to mandate INCOME-BASED child support from him later on rather than the $200 per month that a child could easily be raised on to be happy and healthy. We’re talking in the range of 15-20% but that could help a peasant woman live like an heiress in her village if the guy she was married to is making a western income.

        Right now, it’s still possible for a man to just move away which is why most women will try to be fair and agree without the courts on a fair amount of child support, like $300 per month.

        If you don’t marry a woman, before DNA testing, you were 100% home free to pay her nothing or whatever you felt like.

        At the moment, if you never married her, women will generally agree to take maybe $300 per month child support without using the courts. Again, this is because, if she decided to harass you with local lawyers to get greedy, you could still go home to America where the feminists haven’t finished sealing the treaties that will make men unable to run from the lawyer fueled Stealth Alimony Machine.

        This is why I like to see Hillary Clinton occupied by Pakistan and Iran, despite the different dangers they threaten.

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  66. O the angst, brother. Your cup runneth over.

    This is good, though. Let it out here. But don’t imagine you aren’t spilling it everywhere you go. Especially on your approaches to the weaker sex.

    That’s just it, isn’t it? They are the weaker sex. Tattoo it on your hand, because you’re forgetting that universal fact of life. They are weak, unless you convince yourself you are weaker, which we are prone to do (with a big assist from the feminized culture), and thus you awaken the ruthless shrew inside every being with a vagina who lives carve hearts with zero remorse. “But I got a boyfriend…” Ice Cube: “Bitch stop lyin’.”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gB_NhBcnsr8#t=1m30s

    They smell how tightly wound you are from five clicks off. The bitter reek of an engine in the red without enough coolant. Coolant! Drink deep before you embark on your pussy prowl. Chillaxxxx. Liquid courage if you must, until you see just how toothless they really are.

    You are the best thing that ever happened to them. Every day a girl wakes up she prays she’ll encounter The One. She will convince herself for you, if you make it easy: what “luck” to have “chance” encountered her soul mate. If you aren’t bringing that fact out with you, don’t bother going out.

    After you get right with that most basic fundamental, then proceed to the next baby step.

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  67. King david had multiple wives and concubines. It really caused little problems until he fucked a married woman. It is the role and duty of men to have as many wives as he can afford to take care of.

    Abraham, Jacob, Gideon, Solomon (the man who was given godly wisdom) and many other patriarchs of the Hebrew Scriptures had many wives. Problems occurred only when they shifted their focus off God.

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  68. @roissy “For the overwhelmingly majority of men, from high to low station, game to gameless, it is an unrealistic and mostly unattainable trick to lock in a lover for the long haul while openly satisfying his sexual need for variety. Sooner or later, it will come to a head; the LTR will evaporate into divorce or loveless airs as the repeated insult of open infidelity scours his lover’s emotional bond”

    One word: “Mormons”

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    • Cool. I could live like her. She has a good husband and shares him – still better than settling and marrying a man who’s not ‘The One’. Plus: she can have a female lover.

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  69. Neecy u sound needy. I bet u want a beta to support u and u ran the cock carosell for far too long that u cant stand a regular computer nerd who can’t take charge.

    U want the alpha in charge who can settle down and support u. Good luck on that with guys knowin the score now

    Like


    • I have always liked Beta guys. Throughout my teens, college etc. I don’t want an alpha male as a companion. While I do find *some* characteristics of the alpha male very appealing (i.e. straightforwardness, outgoing, etc) I find more Beta male qualities appealing.

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  70. Blog Collective Sigh: “Thanks Roissy, for giving us the green light to settle. I’m tired of striving, and just want peace.” (love you, R)

    Even xsplat—shocking! (but understandable)

    It’s biological.

    I’m not judging anyone but myself. Frankly, I’m writing this for myself. I just went through this. A companion 1000% devoted—literally begging for babies. The full spectrum of MLTRs scenarios, with acquiescence by my female.

    In the end, for me, even after getting what I wanted, it came down to this: what is my potential? What can I achieve in this lifetime? If I’m to settle, what is my acceptable level of settlement… at what cost? And what life would that deliver?

    For twenty years, I’ve had an attitude that I’ve always lived by: be willing to walk, whether in love, friendship, family, or business. In the past five years, I’ve walked on all of them… often painfully so. Honestly, I can’t say that this attitude has always served me well… or poorly. On my fiery days, I fight. On my weak days, I doubt. It’s a struggle of faith.

    I feel like for me to choose monogamy, she must be my perfect mirror. What I mean by that is that I must see in her reflection the complete realization of myself as a male, human, spiritual being, else, I cannot commit. Relationship, yes. Commitment, not so much. To commit to less is to accept less than I am.

    It’s okay if she’s less than this. Given the right conditions, I could be happy with this. What seems to matter is that I’m aware of the disequilibrium… and therefore disequilibrium of calibration.

    At this point in my life, ALL of my male friends have committed in one form or fashion. They are happy, or unhappy, in varying degrees, depending on one’s perspective.

    I am happy, or unhappy, in varying degrees, depending on one’s perspective.

    Ultimately, I hold that the gift of Roissy to us all (or me, at least) has been one of perspective. Those of us who congregate here are explorers—ONSs, LTRs, MLTRs, PUAing, evo psychs, feministas, et al.

    I appreciate all your perspectives, from junior to senior.

    For me, personally, I know this: I will never settle, even if it kills me (and it probably will). But that’s only because that’s how I’m built, and not for any biological rule. But at least I can be aware of that fact… and rage.

    Love you people. Stay true2u

    Like


    • Even xplat

      Some might remember last September I came on this board mentioning that I’d just had a first date, was in love, and planned to marry the girl and give her a million babies. That’s the same girl who is now the live in.

      I’m now considering whether to keep both apartments… It’s a big expense that I could invest elsewhere, and lately I don’t even really need the 2nd place.

      It’s really, really hard to let this expensive apartment go.

      Like


  71. “A man can love more than one woman at once, but a woman cannot love more than one man at once. She, at best, can only sex more than one man concurrently. She, ultimately, finds the fullness of her love manifest in the singular, unshared love of one man to whom she is faithfully devoted.”

    That’s the most controversial excerpt of your text.

    Like


    • Yes I agree. Can the author elaborate on “She, at best, can only sex more than one man concurrently.” Are you talking about multiple fuck buddies or double penetration or both?

      I believe the premise that a woman cannot TRULY be IN love with more than one man at a time while a man can. But I have come across countless “single” women who still keep a rotation of multiple ex flings/ltr boyfriends/fuckbuddies to fuck. It is my estimate that there is a 50/50 (the other 50% being celibate) chance this is the case if a woman is not taken, “In A Relationship”, devoted, faithful, etc.

      My undeveloped theory is that this is rising modern Alpha female behavior that is heavily influenced by sexualized media, birthcontrol, and dwindling religious dogma/morality which are all a direct result of Feminism. The common misconception is that Feminism is spearheaded by the female race. This is not the case. Feminism stems from the “powers that be”. Whether they be satanic, illuminati, jewish, nordic blue bloods, freemason or what have you.

      Even the most alpha female craves devotion to a single alpha male, but any normal looking female with a sex drive that hasn’t encountered a true alpha is going to fight boredom in a sea of betas.

      Like


    • what about cuckolding wives? they’re sleeping with 2 or more men concurrently and at least keeping up the appearance of being a loving wife to keep the game going. so at least some women have no problem doing this.

      Like


  72. Neecy, your pic says more about your position and true motivations than anything you could patiently rationalise in multiple paragraphs.

    Like


    • and i bet it’s fgas, too.

      Like


    • I don’t understand what you are trying to say.

      Like


      • He is saying that your headshot photo is designed to highlight your physical attractiveness as much as possible and market you as such. AS a woman, you know what you have to offer on the market, and emphasize the positive, and all your talk about love, morality, whatever is tosh.

        He is also suggesting that if you were a bikini model, likely you would have a full-body shot, to demonstrate to people that you were, well, a bikini model.

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      • oh ok I get it. I never said that women don’t want to be attractive to the opposite sex. But not all of us feel that sex is some high end commodity that should be used to get a man’s approval – especially since sex is not one of the harder things to get from a man.

        Regarding the bikini model thing – working on it. Not quite there yet, but almost 😉

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      • Whatever fattie.

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  73. “I’m pretty sure I sound pathetic and like I have issues with my masculinity and sexuality.”

    No, you don’t sound pathetic. You’re completely normal. Don’t worry so much, girls are not perfect either.

    “I think my issue is primarily hormonal rather than intellectual.”

    Maybe you have to be more assertive and you shouldn’t let other people bring you down. Also, do more sports. (Be careful about injuries though).
    Athletes are more attractive to girls and you will become more confident, too.
    (Btw. do you mind explaining why do you think your issue is hormonal?)

    We girls are looking for The One, as King A mentioned here, therefore I recommend you to focus more on finding the girl you can fall in love with. Don’t just try to have sex with as many sluts as possible. If you are not an alpha (from your post I see that you are currently not), these sluts will not want you anyway. Also, you want to have sex with a beautiful and emotionally healthy girl. Some of my friends are sluts (by sluts I mean girls who try to snatch a high-value man by having sex with him before even knowing him well) and they feel empty and betrayed. Some of them are cynical and talk bad things about men, but most of them are still naive and believing that they are princesses who will eventually find a high-value man who will love them forever. You don’t want such girls. Focus on girls who still listen to their heart.
    Hope my English is remotely okay and you can comprehend what I want to say.

    Like


    • on July 7, 2011 at 8:53 am A hard reign held up by rage

      Its hormonal rather than intellectual because I find it hard to work out what makes me happy in an intellectual way. I’ve sat in my studio for literally 4 hours at a time working up the courage to leave the house and go clubbing. And its not excrutiatingly slow, either – the time passes in an instant. E.g. its 4pm and I should leave the house at 8pm to go to a club or something. It comes to 7:55 and I think “why cant I have at least an hour more – I still havent comprehended what I’m about to do” etc.

      I would try and conquer the issues I have in an intellectual way and I wound find no solution, no satisfaction in attempting to theorize about what to do.

      If, rather, someone just pushed me outside and got me talking to people, I’m sure I’d get happy real quick. Kind of like what happened with streetlight girl. It just so happened that the conditions were perfect – she happenned to be walking home, on the same way I was walking, there was no cockblocking friend, we were neighbours so thats a cool connection. That was the happiest moment of 2011 for me. 15-20 minutes with a pretty girl.

      Keep in mind I’m not fat or too ugly. I’m 140lb and I’ve been lifting weights for 2 months. I had a girlfriend last year – she was pretty, at least a 7 or 8 at first, but then she put on 20lb.

      I was alpha a few years ago. Its funny how I went from literally pushing girls away – I remember once I could have fucked 2 9’s in one night but I was really weird about sex – didnt want to do it. And I had over 100 aquaintances. People I didnt know came up to me and shook my hand. I didnt know their names. I was extremely popular in a particular social group. Had 6 hot girlfriends in 6 months. That kind of thing. Now I’m nothing. Oh well.

      Its actually pretty surprising to me just how bad I’m doing. I was a natural alpha and I was dumb – I knew nothing about women. Now I’m an beta and I’ve read most of the pua literature.

      The most prominent thing thats occured to me from attempting to manifest and practice pua techniques is that I know so much more about women right now, but I’m doing worse even with it. Its like game is useless unless you have the balls – or the idiocy – to act like an animal outside your skin – to act completely on impulse and take risks – including risking embarassment and doing things you’ve never done before like go to bars alone.

      In fact I’m pretty sure reading about pua stuff has made me even more scared to approach now, because with things like the Emotional Progression Model I can break down exactly whats happenning on the fly and guage where the relationship is going. It makes me scared that it could end in sex.

      Funny. A few years ago I’d stop 2 girls on the street and ask them what they think about this or that band. Nowadays I’d call that a 2 set opinion opener on the street and I’d be fully aware of my body language, my tone of voice, and EXACTLY what I say.

      In other words, on one hand there is the barbaric, stupid, risk taking animal, and on the other there is the slightly scared, calculating introvert/INTJ. The animal gets the pussy.

      If anybody is still reading this long winded thing I’d like to add one more thing. I really, really was alpha back in my heydey. Insane stuff happened to me. Only years later, when I read the pua literature, did I realize I was basically a super alpha. I controlled my social group. I got all of the hottest women. I did whatever the fuck I want. Women broke social conventions to try to talk to me. Like on a train, on the street. Women who were ALONE – who were just walking by, or sitting by themselves, had the boring regularity of their lives utterly shattered by simply witnessing how much social proof I had, and they wanted a piece of the action. Crazy. This almost never happens now. I had women tell me they were honoured to be with me, because most girls didnt get the chance. That kind of thing.

      My point is that its really, really interesting to know that most guys never get an alpha streak like this, and they will live their whole lives never knowing what its like to be on the top – and its more than incredible, its mind blowing, its unfathomable. Some guys get to 21 without even kissing – fucking crazy. I’d bet on my dad’s grave that I have had more fun, and more women jumping into my lap in two weeks of my alpha run then they’d have in their entire life up intil then.

      I suppose I feel kinda lucky that my 16 year old stupid animal phase’s natural actions just so happened to be up there with the top of the alphas.

      Because now that I know what its like, I have a goal, and a vision to be there again. I will!

      Like


      • what caused you to betafy?

        Like


      • These reply trees are all out of whack.

        Anyway, Hard reign:

        Girls don’t want to fend off sweaty-palmed advances from creeps all day. Every girl is living a rom-com movie in her own mind, just waiting for her inevitable meet-cute.

        If you don’t have anything interesting to talk about — get it. There is no short cut, no hypnotic trick or secret code to get around the hard work of self-mastery and self-improvement.

        If you go for the approach, it is great fun, a masculine ritual, an exhilarating test, win or lose. But inserting yourself into her orbit puts you at an immediate disadvantage that must be overcome with top skills, and top skill comes from practice and failure and trying, trying again.

        The percentage play remains in becoming the draw. Make them approach you, Mister Magnet. You are hanging out at the bottom of the bitch funnel, waiting for the honey to be inevitably drawn down into the gravity of your mysteriousness. It’s more of a state of mind than a practical plan, but with enough care you will yield results. Your “approach” becomes minimalist, reduced to a signal or a gesture or a look indicating their permission to enter your court — who is that guy? You create the conditions for intimacy with one crook of the finger rather than with your legs. And she does the substantial work of closing the physical distance.

        Wait. Just to be clear before I continue. You’re talking about strip-club pick-up, right?

        Like


      • You are thinking to hard and trying to hard because of the PUA literature. Forget the PUA books and similar crap. You can’t be an alpha from reading a book. Just be your natural self. Go and be fun and you will have fun. “There is no try, only do.”

        Like


      • “I had women tell me they were honoured to be with me, because most girls didnt get the chance.”

        “I remember once I could have fucked 2 9′s in one night”

        Really?

        And now this:

        “That was the happiest moment of 2011 for me. 15-20 minutes with a pretty girl.”

        Still don’t know why do you think this is hormonal? What do you mean? Depression? Some kind of mild castration? (Why wouldn’t you go and see your doctor?). Your story is extremely unbelievable.

        “Some guys get to 21 without even kissing – fucking crazy.”

        What’s so fucking crazy about that? I’m 26 and I’ve never been kissed.

        Like


      • Mya,

        There is nothng like a damn good kiss! It does seem that people are more apt to screw than kiss. Mind boggling. My other question would be how the heck are people screwing without kissing first? I guess Kissing is waaay too intimate for most while screwing isn’t. Oh what a backwards world we live in. LOL

        Like


      • your a captivating chatterbox, you never quit. are you running Raven Symone game on us menfolk

        Like


      • on July 7, 2011 at 10:39 pm A hard reign held up by rage

        I fully accept that its unbelievable, because of the dynamics of male value. A beta (me!) gets nothing, whilst a high alpha (past me!) gets everything. There is almost no middle ground. Its a strong dichotomy. You’re either swimming in the ocean of pussy or you’re spying on it with a telescope from two beaches away.

        Like


      • Don’t pity yourself – that’s a nonsense. Most men settle for a woman below what they could really get just to get a GF. I’m in my mid 20s and most of my friends have pig ugly girlfriends, but for some reason they settle. I would say %80 of men are like this. Then %10 stay single and enjoy the fruits and another %10 get nothing. Or something like this.

        Being alpha/beta sometimes isn’t clear cut. Get in the gym hard (like 4 times a week) and get in a great shape and get a good muscular physique. You’ll feel like an alpha and be guaranteed to get more pussy. Also your higher testosterone from weight lifting will make you much hornier and therefore approach more.

        Like


      • Wrong.

        Getting pussy is a simple sales job. Find your niche and target. Then expand your market through changing what you are selling and learning new sales venues.

        Like


      • Reply tree is out of whack. Trying to respond to rage.

        Like


      • Wrong.

        Getting pussy is a simple sales job. Find your niche and target. Then expand your market through changing what you are selling and learning new sales venues.

        Like


    • A hard reign + Maya = KISMET

      You kids should go on a date. Both works in progress, rough around the edges, but young and eager and desperate to learn. You may yet find the guidance you seek in each other. And women looooove makeovers.

      One’s from Australia, one’s from Paraguay. Spanish chicks are God’s gift to humanity, Crocodile Dundee. Do you believe in destiny? Game is just a means to an end.

      Like


  74. It’s hilarious to see commenters talking about slipping into LTRs but resolutely refusing to think truly long-term.

    A long-term relationship with someone you know you won’t marry (assuming you don’t already have kids) is bad for women; but therefore it is bad for men also, because a relationship that is bad for one partner is not a healthy relationship.

    It’s OK to not be sure; but if you KNOW you won’t marry the girl or have kids with her, and she hasn’t already decided never to have kids, then either it is not an LTR, or she doesn’t know what you know and the relationship is based on dishonesty.

    Like


    • Don’t be silly.

      Is your brain stuck in a future aspergy scenario? You need to live in the moment instead of being dependant on future outcomes, thats how to get yourself stuck in oneitis hell. What you promote is that a man should weaken his mind and his position in the relationship for the sake of the woman. The problem is lots of men are not recieving the same courtesy in return, a lot of them are dating promiscuous women who are actually happy to MARRY them knowing full well it won’t last…

      I assure you that women do not hesitate to end LTRs for all kinds of reasons, so i don’t really think this should be a concern aside from when men are dating young chaste women who make it clear they desire a lasting commitment.

      Like


  75. The Royal Harem is definitely the way to go, if you’re alpha enough to pull it off. I’ve run an RH for about 5 years now, without anything too bad happening (and a lot of good), so I have some comments which may be helpful for any guys pondering the how-tos on the RH.

    Some background on me, since I’m not pretending this is the RH guide in three easy steps. I’m a natural alpha in looks and attitude, who was feminized – like most American men – by a mother who read Cosmo. You know the story.

    My dating life in my 20s was a lot of LTRs with constant running around on the side; monogamy and I have not coexisted since about 21. A harem of sorts, but rarely more than 3 girls at once. There were occasional bad incidents – serious cat-fights, which are fun to watch but tough to deal with the aftermath. Though you are not a real alpha if women have never physically fought over you. Extra points for blood-letting and/or major hair-pulling.

    Then I got married … whoops. I was stupid, despite all I knew. It ended badly, of course; it nearly always does. I quit my catting-around ways for a while, but eventually my affairs were pretty open: I wanted to get rid of the bitch, who got fat and even meaner, and I did.

    The divorce was messy, kids involved, cost me a fortune, etc. No matter how many times this website, and others, scream DO NOT GET MARRIED some of you will anyway, so I won’t sermonize more than I already have. Just know what is likely to happen.

    As I came up for air post-divorce, after some really tough months, I resolved to actually apply the lessons I’d learned, painfully. Marriage was not on the table, ever again, but lots and lots of pussy is – on MY terms, exclusively.

    The RH is the best course because it guarantees you companionship and sexual variety, when and how you want it. I’m in my early 40s, in good shape (but not super-buff: it’s irrelevant), charming and fun, with a rapier wit that chicks of all ages dig. I’m successful and interesting; not gonna pretend it doesn’t matter. What I am NOT is an Adonis with a few million bucks in the Caymans. I’m not an average guy, but a lot of guys with alpha tendencies could pull of my sort of RH, with wisdom and discretion.

    First rule to remember is that the woman decides if/when there will be sex, and the man decides if there will be a relationship, and what kind. It really is that simple: repeat as a mantra. Once she lifts her skirt for you, you have the power to control where it goes from there. American women mindfuck you – including your mom in most cases – to forget this basic truth, but you must never do so if you expect to succeed with women.

    Second, pay no attention to what she says, only to what she does. Per this website, treat everything she says as “cute”: never treat her very seriously.

    Third, never be afraid to lose a gal. Period.

    Fourth, logistics matter. If you want to have the RH, space out the gals geographically. My harem is 4-5 gals, typical MLTRs (with some rotation), and they are spaced out to avoid any embarrassing confrontations. None live too close to me, and some are a couple hours away by car. I have keys to all their places, no woman will ever have a key to mine. I maintain “state control” at all times.

    Fifth, know your target. You should have a good handle on what kinds of gals are into you and why. With this, you can achieve total psychological dominance in all situations, which you will need to pull off the RH over any length of time.

    Sixth, get a gal in the RH to meet your essential needs. One is my intellectual muse, one is a sort of mothering creature when I need that, one is filthy rich and buys me fun stuff (new sports car, surprise weekends in Paris, etc), one is seriously kinky (regular threesomes, etc). All are of course attractive, and enjoy sex a lot – otherwise they get nowhere near RH membership.

    Seven, keep a “floater” position, a “developmental” if you will. I travel a lot and get constant pussy on the road, and once in a while you meet a gal for potential inclusion in the RH; I am slow and careful about this process, as you should be too. Keep the supply of fresh young pussy constant and you will be a very happy man, but allow gals into the RH only after careful vetting.

    Eight, have a good narrative that provides cover for action. In my case, I used to do undercover work so I’m good at lying and creating plausible fictions. It also helps to have a “life problem” (sick parent, brother in mental hospital, that sort of thing: mine is my kids, whom I share with my evil ex-wife) that provides a reason for you to “need to go away for a few days” or “really need some me-time” on compassionate grounds that only a total cunt would object to.
    Nine, don’t lie too much. Embrace half-truths. I seldom bald-face lie to an RH member. Mostly, they really don’t want to know. If you do this right, she will seldom, if ever, ask about “other women” (and any women who does regularly should never be allowed in the harem anyway). If you’re alpha enough, they don’t really WANT to know, they desire the ruse, as long as it is well executed and respectful of her. Never put her face in it, or you will have a COPS situation on your hands, stat. Top alphas with tight Game and a lot of Harem Management experience know how to handle this issue: bottom line is it takes time and requires delicate handling. And any gal who puts relationship pressure on you (or, heaven forbid, mentions marriage) is dumped ruthlessly as an example to others.
    Ten, start small. If you’re a newbie, don’t run out and get 4-5 new girlfriends. Start with two, hone the skills I’ve defined here, and build, slowly and carefully. Harem Management is easy once you master the basics, but you can’t rush it. If you take shortcuts you will have a disaster on your hands.
    So you have your Ten Commandments of the Royal Harem … enjoy.

    Like


    • And any gal who puts relationship pressure on you (or, heaven forbid, mentions marriage) is dumped ruthlessly as an example to others.

      …how exactly will she be “an example to others” if the others don’t know about her?

      Like


  76. It is too easy though. I have a friend of mine that broke up, then went back to his LTR when she came back to him because it is comfortable to do so.

    It is now guarenteed to end and they both know it – it doesn’t stop them from doing it though.

    Like


  77. This hits home, but anyone in LTRs will have to watch for a decrease in sex beyond what’s normal. For me, I have some attributes of an alpha with knowing my own mind and what I want in life, which was an attraction for my LTR. However, adding kids in the mix and I accepted beta-dom which took a turn into omega-dom, as we added 2 dogs as well. Now I am in for almost a decade and I live in an area that is economically devastated. I can only find part-time work and my partner is pissed at me all the time since she thinks it’s a joyride to stay home with our 2 girls. She now wants that, though we bought our home with 2 incomes and now we are under water. She wants me to go out and find a better paying job (though she has only held onto her job by the skin of her teeth). She is a whiner and complainer since I am King Asshole because I am tired of taking care of the kids and looking for a job and doing all the housework. I have given up on sex and can’t approach her, and I have resolved not to give in to her on the once every 3 months schedule she is on. She also knows morally I can’t leave 2 little girls to life without a father though in her bitchiness she attributes it to that I would rather “live off of her” than in my brother’s basement. I take it day in and day out. “For richer, for poorer” is a lie, or it is a lie for 999 out of a 1000 women. And any suggestion that we have it better than our neighbors is greeted by scorn. Sure I am sure her job sucks…all jobs suck, but she is white collar and doesn’t have to sling hash. I rate below 2 daughters and 2 dogs, and I walk daily through a minefield. I am aware of PUAs and bitch tests and try to deflect them as best as I can. Instead of any kind words for making sure the girls don’t stick their fingers in electrical sockets or hit the dogs with baseball bats, I am considered an asshole who can’t find a job in a depression. Any irritated look that could pass along my face for a fleeting second is met with an hour of sheer bitch about how tough her life is. Any comment that at least we still have a home and food on the table is met with derision. I “don’t talk to her anymore” as if I needed an hour of screeching after I volunteer a thought that does not correspond to the Party Line of me being an asshole. Do not make the same mistake I did.

    Like


    • This should be a cautionary lesson to anyone. Live not just within your financial means, but well within your financial means. Don’t buy the biggest house possible. Buy a house you can afford with one income. Save money to give yourself independence.

      Like


      • Amen to that. If I could do it all over again, I’d still bang her in my tiny apt. she originally found charming, then keep my options open until her biological clock went off. I don’t put it down to conscious lying, but female treachery is in their justification which is ever shifting.

        Like


    • I had to leave a marriage with a child because the wife was a psycho bitch. As I also considered it my moral duty to stick it out for the kid, I required a nervous breakdown before I would allow myself to walk.

      Just walk, dude. Your kids may need you, but if you set the example that your life is worth less than theirs, you just teach them to do the same thing you are doing – living an unfulfilled life. Be selfish. Walk.

      In your position what I did was rent a small camper van and then drive around the outskirts of my expensive town putting flyers in peoples mailboxes asking if they had a spot I could rent for it. End result was quite cheap living close enough in to the center, and yet still surrounded by fields. Sometimes I scored fields and forest and mountains. Not high class digs, but I still managed to get girls to visit. The camper was upgraded as I got funds. And then in the end I sold it.

      You can’t be happy living with that hell hound. Be selfish.

      Like


      • I appreciate the reply. The bro’s basement is looking better all the time. However in my betadom, I did say divorce was not an option since it rains hell on the kids. Plus when she’s not hormonal, she’s nice enough. Or is it enough? Plus I need the insurance card.

        It does vary a bit day to day, but I am still on eggshells. She will occasionally do something nice as she’s “thinking of me.” But another mini-blowout just the other day, which I didn’t respond to since at some times in the heat of the moment, I remember a bit of game.

        In the split second of not helping her with something, she spouts off with something like, yeah, you won’t give me what I really want…meaning, the big D. Later that day, in telling the girls we are going to see the granparents for a week, she informs me that I had better act like a family member and not be stuck all week with the earbuds in my iPod or else I could just stay home.

        I wanted to say, yeah, deal with all your crap for a week or time off to do what I want.

        Like


  78. Meh. This sounds like people who try to extend their adolescence for as long as possible. Such idyllic sexual passion is supposed to be short as it’s about (biologically) becoming compatiable with a woman such that you’ll get her pregnant and then you both have the arduous journey of raising the offspring. Hence the real middle-aged are supposed to be out of the sexual market because they’ve successfully sired the next generation and it’s the next generation’s turn to hook up and being the process all over again.

    Like


  79. on July 7, 2011 at 11:45 am Backdoor Man

    The is relevant to the discussion.

    http://www.thesmartset.com/article/article06281102.aspx

    Like


  80. great entry just what i needed… as a 23 yr dude who recently found out the oneitis i’ve been harbouring for a girl since high school has actually been reciprocated all these years, the arguement to forfeit the fruits of my recently found playerdom to try monogamy with miss oneitis is very compelling. it’s good to hear from a seasoned guru what my options are and what the potential consequences of my choices may be. cheers mate.

    Like


    • Don’t believe her, son. My guess is you have matured over 5 years into a better piece of man. Your voice has deepened, your wallet has fattened, your shoulders have broadened. In short, you have a higher value now than when you were 18. Has she become a better catch than when she was 18? HIGHLY doubtful. And those trends will continue. You will likely be even better on the market at 28. Her? Again, highly doubtful.

      You need to remember that she will revise her interest in your to suit her current needs and wants. Yeah, maybe she thought you were kind of cute, but she was still rubbing the junk of other guys, not you. That is extremely good evidence that you were not her first choice, other guys were. And now that your value is higher, and hers lower, you are two people passing each other on the market scale. She knows this, and wants to lock something in if possible.

      Take your fond memories of her hard-bodied 18 year old self out of it. Think about it hard, as if you were meeting her for the first time now. Is she really your equal on the market? Will she stay there?

      Like


  81. on July 7, 2011 at 12:08 pm noAlphazHere

    oh my god this is worse than e-thugs.. e-studs.. bahaha.. enjoy your WoW and Dr. who rerunz

    Like


  82. @a hard reign…

    can you contact me thru my website and give me your email? or contact me –> [email protected]

    i think i have some solid advice to help you out with your social anxiety, approach reluctance and overall thinking on sexuality and masculinity…

    IN REGARDS TO THE ARTICLE…

    I think the ‘cold hard fact’ that a LTR must be monogamous is a bit short sighted. Really, there are many factors that may allow you to continue a MLTR’s without regards to a strict 1 year timeline.

    I have successfully pulled off MLTR’s lasting more than a year. I do not have any special powers. I simply meet a LOT of women, take them on dates, turn them into fuckbuddy and then end up in a relationship with them where we both care about each other, provide mutual support and they ask me to be exclusive (or don’t bring it up) At which point I decline, and just continue to see them. If i recive an ultimatum, i tell them its my way or the highway.

    Oftentimes i find they just assume i only am seeing them (its best never to bring this up, under any circumstances) because i do see several of them a few times a week.

    From what i know, they don’t cheat on me *i can’t be compltely sure all of my girlfriends are monogamous, but for the most part, we all know that women are FAR more likely to form a bond with a single man than vice versa – and i do know that several have been completely loyal*

    The essence of a relationship doesn’t depend upon monogamy. Particularly if you don’t have a big mouth or a facebook wall. What they don’t know, can’t hurt them. What they do know, makes them more attracted. I don’t state that i see only them, and i don’t rub it in their face that i don’t. THey find other girls underwear in my drawers, i refuse to discuss it.

    It’s not that I am lying to my girlfriends, its that we both agree not to talk about it. and if she wants to talk about it, i refuse to have the conversation. Rarely is it pressed. There is no promise of a relationship, but after enough sex and time together its hard not to have this intimacy form some sort of bond that should be called a relationship – and yet is not contingent upon monogamy.

    I don’t see what is so ‘impossible’ about this arrangement. I’m not some ‘superpimp’ but i do meet a new girl every weekend. how can you not in 8 hours at a club (over 2 days) once you get in a groove its really quite easy. Particularly if you play on home turf and know many people (bouncers, bartenders, DJ’s, promoters, social circle) AND are not afraid of cold approach. Cold approach pickup is a way of life. It constantly provides new opportunites for relationships, and allows you to decide if you like them or not.

    A baseline level of proficency is important (you need to have strong body langage, good conversation and physical escalation skills) but mostly its a numbers game. anyone who tells you elsewise is trying to sell you something.

    I can’t disagree with MUCH of what the Chateau writes. I think he provides amazing content with literary skill far greater than anyone else on the subject of ‘game’ BUT within the context of this article, I have personally experianced a harem to be attainable for longer than 1 year several times over.

    Like


    • That means you’re keeping it light and casual.

      That’s not how I roll. Sooner if not later the girls fall, and that changes everything.

      I left two girls that I had a year going with, so I could have extended past that. But one was fucking around, and the other was in the dark the whole time.

      I like to ensare girls as deeply as possible. Own them and their mitochondria too. When you are the girls life, there is no casual easy going happy go lucky free for all anymore. Sooner or later, she WILL crack. And you might not see it coming. Like an earthquake, the invisible fault line will traumatically rupture.

      Like


  83. Be careful if you fuck her on top of a Ferris wheel.

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  84. You need to lie to the ladies. Women can forgive you your other broads as long as it’s not shoved in their faces.

    Like


  85. Nice ……Is (5) posts up @ Andrews 10:08 am post

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  86. Great post, Roissy. One of your best ever.

    You guys should try Islam. Society basically comes to terms with this aspect of alpha men’s personalities and agrees to it through polygamy. The women learn to love and nurture their men and are generally happy with it. The best alpha men get to accumulate more and better wives. It works wonders for the gene pool, as the best men outbreed the worst.

    It basically keeps all men and women actively playing the game, which is a major plus. They have to. If you’re a woman, you’re either trying to win a man over to marry you, or win more attention from the man you already have. If you’re a man, you’re always in the market for more women, coz why the heck not.

    And for men, the best thing about it is that you will never be beta-fied into a cockless ATM. As soon as any woman shit-tests you or tries to manipulate you too much, you turn your attention away from her and focus on the others. She has to fall back in line and continue to do everything you want how you like it.

    I think polygamy is a far superior arrangement to monogamy and you Christian white nations need to get with the program. Even when it is criminalized and frowned upon, it continues to practically exist undercover as we see today: alpha males get all the pussy one way or another. Why not just come to terms with it and let Arnold marry a stable of America’s finest women and sire armies of superhumans? The women would surely be happier with this than the alternative: settling for worthless 9-5-job betaboys and sinking into depression and sexual death.

    In modern Arab and Muslim societies, with the nefarious influence of modern western heathens, polygamy is becoming less tolerated and that’s beginning to create some of the problems of western societies which this blog dissects so beautifully.

    But polygamy survives nonetheless. Smart high quality women who want to land a top-prize alpha basically know that that can only happen and thrive if they don’t try very hard to bust him. In exchange, he’ll be very discreet about it and none of her girlfriends or their friends will ever find out. Hopefully.

    Try it, America! Imagine if the great unwashed masses of desperate housewives didn’t have your crazy divorce laws and had to live their lives worrying about the real possibility their men will bring in actual other wives. I’d expect Haagen-Dazs sales would drop drastically and pool-boys would be actually cleaning pools. The kids would have mothers to take care of them and raise them properly, unlike today’s entitled bitch-moms. All might not be lost, America, but only if you act now.

    Like


    • What happens to betas when alphas accumulate all the women? Do they become depressed and kill themselves? Do they rape? I’m sure they are not happy being celibate.

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      • According to wikipedia iirc, in the middle east only about 5% of married women are in polygamous relationships, and when they are it’s usually limited to two wives.

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      • According to my friend in the Army, they turn to “man-love Thursday”. You can read all about this all over the internet. Its widespread throughout the middle eastern Muslim culture as anyone who has ever been there can attest. I’ve seen it in northern India.

        http://www.topix.com/forum/iq/arbil/TESLJ46065KIAA6VV

        http://www.bouhammer.com/2010/01/and-you-thought-i-was-lying-about-man-love-thursdays/

        http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/01/28/afghan-men-struggle-sexual-identity-study-finds/

        Ask any vet of these two wars about it, or anyone who has spent time east of the Jordan River and north of the Ganges. Other than Iran among the Persians, its everywhere.

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      • There are several things for the leftover betas to do:

        1- Fight for the tribe; this is where things like nationalism come in handy
        2- go gay, occasionally or constantly
        3- compete with other betas in things like sport to gain status
        4- get your shit together, get a job, work out and improve yourself to the point where you can pass off as a marginal alpha and get a woman to marry you.

        The third and fourth ones are particularly good news. With monogamy, there is an army of worthless beta slobs who look like shit, can’t fuck to save their life and have a shit income who nonetheless manage to snag themselves decent vagina for marriage because all the best men are taken and the women are desperate for anything. So these slobs don’t worry about improving themselves, becoming responsible or getting jobs. When the spare women are taken up by the alpha, all the betas need to start making themselves useful.

        I wouldn’t imagine rape would be a problem. Remember we’re talking about silly betas who aren’t known to be very aggressive. And remember that the alphas will be very guarding and protective of their women.

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    • From what I understand, in the Muslim Middle East it’s not bad boys and sexy high T alpha types who have polygamous marriages, but the very rich and powerful that do. I.e. it’s a different type of alpha, somewhat overlapping only, than how alphas are defined on this and other game blogs.

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      • Yes, in Indonesia you have the provider alpha. He may not have, and is likely to lack, many of the social skills we focus on in this blog.

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      • These traits will likely co-evolve together because of assortive mating: the beautiful, strong, rich and alpha are likely to attract one another, leading to offspring that combine these traits. The betas, the ugly, the poor and the weak will likely attract one another, too, leading to offspring that combine these traits. The beauty of polygamy is that it allows the former to reproduce a lot, while denying the chance to the latter.

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    • Hey redprince – tell me more. I am currently dating a Muslim woman from a Muslim society and while she complains that men from her society are players (and maybe she hopes I won’t be) I want to keep her on her toes. Don’t necessarily need a harem but want her to keep working hard to please me. Suggestions?

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      • Dave,

        From my experience gaming chicks here and in Arab/Muslim countries, I think the fundamentals are pretty similar. There are some important differences, however, and I learned this the hard way. The biggest difference is that you’re dealing with women who have nowhere near as much cock-gobbling whoring whoriness in them as modern western empowered feminist-infected sperm-receptacles.

        Hence, there is a real risk of over-gaming, over-negging and the like. Aloof game might lead to alienation and butthurtedness when in America it might lead to tingle overload. The girls don’t generally have as much experience, and have not been exposed to a lot of game. Don’t overdo it as you might push her away.

        Don’t forget, also, that social and family pressures are likely to be stronger than in America, asking her to find a husband and shack up, and not to screw around. A little too much game and you might awaken a serious anti-Slut defense mechanism that sees you as a filthy sexual predator who has no interest in committing.

        I’d reiterate what’s been mentioned here a million times about keeping her on her toes. Neg and be playful with her best friends. Charm them and make them tingle around her. Keep her suspecting she’s got competition. This sort of stuff will go down better there than in America, I think, as girls in America are conditioned very strongly to act like they can’t stand this stuff because of their empowered whoreness. Also, this sort of stuff, I’ve found, will lead to the different women in your harem to start insanely loving each other and taking care of each other and you. You can take the empowered feminist out of the harem, but you can’t take the harem out of the empowered feminist!

        Another difference I found is in the men. Among more traditional and conservative men there, you’ll find healthy alphaness and natural game. But among the westernized, English-speaking and more liberal people, you’ll find an enormous amount of people aspiring to live up to the NYTimes beta ideal, thinking that that is the pinnacle of human advancement. Those guys may be natural alpha who have game, but have really tried hard to curb it, because they live in sort of surroundings where NPR and the NYT are considered the font of all wisdom and the forefront of human advancement. They’ll actually believe and defend the sort of garbage feminism which you’ll only hear on college campuses in America. You’ll notice, at times, that other guys’ disgusting and contrived betaness will be doing the hard work for you. I only gamed my current main squeeze for 15 minutes and she asked me out the next week. Later I found out she had had a boyfriend at that time and was disgusted with his betaness and broke up with him as soon as I showed up on her radar with a sack full of testicles.

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  87. on July 7, 2011 at 5:59 pm Wagging Finger

    This is one of the best articles since I started reading this blog years ago.

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  88. Where do a woman’s feelings figure in all of this? You write,”The choice is less a moral one than a practical one, inasmuch as animal desires supposedly bequeathed us by god can’t be said to have moral underpinnings. What do you prioritize? What gives you the greatest happiness? There’s your answer.”

    It seems to me that you’re prioritizing accommodating your own desires over everything else. When we enter into relationships with other people, though, it becomes incumbent upon us to think about more than just what we want. We’ve got to think about how pursuing what we want would make the other person feel. In my book, that’s what real love (or even just real decency) involves.

    [Editor: Women and men both prioritize accommodating their own desires first. It’s folly to think otherwise.]

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  89. @Roissy
    As a neophyte follower of you blog, I must commend you for your exceptional eloquence, conjoined with formidable thought-provoking content…
    Well done, Sir!

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  90. A hard reign held up by rage,

    I think your problem is intellectual, not hormonal. Why? Read it again:

    “I had a girlfriend last year – she was pretty, at least a 7 or 8 at first, but then she put on 20lb. ”

    “You’re either swimming in the ocean of pussy or you’re spying on it with a telescope from two beaches away.”

    “I remember once I could have fucked 2 9′s in one night”

    “had a sheet of paper with 20 different kind of openers”

    I only copy-pasted a few of the sentences that might be helpful for you to think about them. There are many more, sadly. Think about the above sentences. You wrote them. Don’t you feel just a little strange? If you don’t, there’s a lot of work for you to do. In your head. Enjoy watching porn in the meantime. (Or better not – it will make you even more psychotic … and distracted from the reality).
    Look, why don’t you go and do something useful? In the real world, preferably. Making plans how to lie to girls (Oh, no, wrong word … I mean PUSSIES) will not make you happy.

    Oh, but you fucked two 9’s in one night, right?

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  91. […] women need to base their self-worth on by association with their committed lover. Every item on this list can, by degrees, be mitigated by maintaining an ever-present, subconscious awareness that you are a […]

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  92. This post + comments have helped me see something: feminist marriage by law is A factor in the obesity epidemic.

    That was why most women used to be thin before AND after marriage. Now, if the wife gets fat, and he “cheats on her” because he doesn’t feel anything but revulsion for all that fat, she can divorce him and take half his stuff or more. Whereas, he’s got no recourse to make her get/stay in shape.

    [Note: for most people, significantly restricting total grains and added sugar – and artificial sweeteners – is still essential for getting rid of the excess bodyfat.]

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  93. Anybody here ever see that series My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding? I heard about it from my mom of all people and flipped to it one night. Apparently, Gypsies, like REAL modern day gypsies (not the mystical kind though) have this whole marriage thing down fucking pat. The girl get her wedding, it’s all about her, it’s her day to shine, her spotlight, her show. She get to be a princess for ONE day, but they go all out to make sure it’s a day NO ONE will forget and the man has no say in it. After that, it’s a lifetime of cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids (who usually skip college to learn how to be better housewives) while the man is king of his house, goes out to work all day, kicks back with his boys at night, and buys whatever the fuck he wants around the house (and every so often takes her on a shopping spree so she doesn’t feel under appreciated). The wives have their own little housewife group, so while the boys are out having their fun, they can have theirs too. From the outside looking in at least, it seems like a damn good arrangement

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  94. […] Heartiste – “The Hazards of Long Term Relationships” […]

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  95. fucking beautiful, mate.

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  96. I think my dad might be an exception to the rule. He’s been dating two women for nearly 10 years, including other younger ones here and there (sometimes up to 5 at a time). One of the long terms knows about the other, the other is clueless. I don’t know how he does it. I only made it 6 months.

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  97. I am a recent follower of the thoughts and conceptual frameworks presented in this blog. Ultimately the blog wrestles with the deepest questions of our human existence: What constitutes a good life? How does one accomplish it? As many have recognized, and what is essentially Roissy’s final point, is that a good life is absolutely a relative thing (there’s an irony in that phrasing) and individual specific. It all really depends on where you are coming from and what’ve you’ve seen. For me life has always been about building and sustaining loving and fulfilling relationships. If I look at the most happy, fulfilled man I’ve encountered in my life, it has to be my grandfather. He didn’t live a life of a harem with a variety of pussy. What he did do was wait until he found a woman (my grandmother) who he truly wanted and whom was worthy of that want. And when he found her he sought to make her his life and he wanted this more than anything and HE pushed HER for marriage. And when she accepted, they were married and lived a happy full life that was so functional, so fulfilling and so full of love. For me that has to be a better life than a life of superficial connection with a variety of women (and I think that by necessity the deception and duplicity inherent in having a multiplicity of partners has to impact the depth of a connection with any one partner, and even in an open concept relationship the self-splitting has to impact intimacy, so not only will she eventually leave you but you won’t be as connected to her as you might otherwise be). But that is just for me and I absolutely make no comment on the worth of that lifestyle for others. I want the life my grandfather had and so I am seeking the woman whom I will want more than anything.

    When I first started reading this blog it began to erode a little of my faith in finding the kind of woman worthy of such devotion. Women sound like mere machines biologically driven to always seek the next best deal. But I’ve come to appreciate that there are exceptions worthy of devotion. I look at my female family members and at the wives of friends and see such women. This has given me hope. The real obstacle I face is the realization that 8’s and 9’s (which sadly are the only women who pass my physical attraction test to allow for an LTR) are far and few between and those who are truly devoted are even rarer. I was with a 9 who was such a woman but, unfortunately, for reasons other than her beauty or heart, I lacked the conviction that my grandfather had for my grandmother (who was at least an 8 BTW).

    What I liked about this post was its recognition that a LTR can be a real source of lasting happiness for some (not all of course) and its suggestions for fostering and nurturing an LTR such that it is always what it started out as. I think there always has to be an edge and the knowledge in both parties that either can walk at any point and as such the relationship need to be fostered. The real danger of conventional marriage is that it brings with it the “where you gonna go?” dynamic. The spectre of legal obligation and huge financial penalty leads the parties to a dysfunctional complacency and the once vibrant relationship deteriorates into a boring predictable mundane existence.

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  98. Funny I just wrote a post from a woman’s angle and almost have every point you make. Must be a long-time reader. Well yes, yes I am.

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  99. You forgot about the kids. Divorce wrecks the lives of children.

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  100. Marrying More than One is Desirable

    Question:
    Some men marry more than one woman out of pride or in order to compete with one another and due to a genuine need. Is such a thing permissible? And what is your advice to those men and women who object to plurality when there is a need for it?

    Answer:
    Marrying more than one wife is a desirable thing – on condition that the man has the financial means and the physical ability to act with justice between his wives. This is because through plurality of wives, good is acheived, such as protecting the private parts of the women who he marries (from illegal sexual intercourse) and broadening of unity between the people, and increasing the number of births, as indicated by the Prophet sallallaahu alahi wasallam:
    ‘Marry loving, productive women.’ (Abu Dawud 2050, An-Nasaai’ 3229, Ibn Hibbaan 4028, & Ahmad 3/158-245)

    It also contains many other benefits. As for a man marrying more than one wife out of pride and competitiveness, it is something which falls into the category of waste, which is not permitted. Allaah, the Most High says:

    ‘Waste not by extravagance, certainly He (Allaah) likes not Al-Musrifun (those who waste by extravagance).’ (Al-‘Araaf 7:31)

    Shaykh Muhammad bin Saalih al-`Uthaymeen
    Fatawa Islamiyah, Darussalam, volume 5, page 355-356

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  101. […] The Hazards Of Long Term Relationships – how to avoid the negative features of relationships […]

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  102. […] for your affection, and thus overcomes the naturally emergent impediment common to all LTRs of anhedonic emasculation. She wants to know she has earned your interest, for only when this final piece of the puzzle is in […]

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