Chase, Interrupted

My slim cut extra medium T-shirt felt sloppy on me, sitting across the table from his dark blue suit. A blood red tie slashed his white shirt down the middle, and he caressed the lip of his glass of whiskey with a manicured index finger that hasn’t seen manual labor since high school.

“You sound like you’re ready to call it quits,” he mused.

“Well, now I wouldn’t go that far.”

“How long you been together?”

I stuttered on the number. “Hm… nine months, year. Somewhere around there.”

“That’s love.”

“Yeah, she’s all right.”

He took a slow sip and eyed through the back of his glass a young blonde with an aggressively arched torso sitting at the bar. “Marriage?”

“Ha. Funny. I’m just enjoying it in its pristine condition at the moment. What about you? Any slowing down?”

“I didn’t know this was a race.”

“You know what I mean. How much longer can you play the field?”

“How much longer can you go on breathing? You see the absurdity in your question.” He flicked a mosquito off his arm sleeve. The rooftop was buzzing with liquored career girls and blues music trapped in humidity.

I exhaled words through my lips, “I admit there are times… a lot of times… when I miss the chase.”

“You can still have that.”

“No, not really. Technically, you can. But in reality the feeling is never the same.”

He leaned forward and crinkled his brow. “How so?”

“There’s no freedom in cheating. At least, not the sort of freedom that makes your brain feel like it’s on helium. Cheating is exciting, but no matter how you compartmentalize it, you’ll always have to deal with that tiny pang of guilt.”

“Sure, but it’s worth it when you consider the alternative.” He shivered from an invisible north wind. “Monogamy.”

“There’s more to it than guilt, which was never much of a disincentive for me, anyway. When you know you always have that fallback lover, that girl who will be there at home, waiting for you, the victories taste less sweet. Where’s the challenge? A well executed seduction as a free man is a very different experience than one as a taken man. Failure means more when you’re single, and so success means more as well.”

“Beautiful words. But your virtue won’t last. You’ll be back. I know you.”

He pressed forward over the table once again, and for the first time that night his tie went askew.

I studied my mischievous friend waiting for me to invite him to speak. “What?”

“You remember Adele? That girl you took back to her place from this very bar… twice… for one night stands?”

“Adele. Yeah,” I reflected.

“She had a nice place, didn’t she? Big bay window in her bedroom. You were about to fuck her, condomless, in the deep of the night, and right before penetration you looked down and admired her thatch of honey blonde pubic hair. Shards of streetlamp light shone through the window and illuminated her pubes. Her tuft glittered, you said. You were surprised that her rug was as brightly blonde as her hair.”

“All natural, too. She was a Vikingess.”

“Mmm, hm. The optical geometry of that night is scorched forever on your retinas. In old age, you’ll forget everything but moments like that. You’ll forget your kids’ names but you’ll recall with perfect clarity the night of that dance of streetlight, bed, and pubes. And the others like it.”

“I know where you’re going with this.”

His lip curled. “Do you?”

“She had a boyfriend. Which I found out about later. I met him, briefly. Shook his hand and everything just to make her uncomfortable. She didn’t know if I was crazy enough to mention our tryst. Of course, I didn’t. But I loved that spectacle. It’s not often one gets a chance to smother a woman so thoroughly with her clandestine evil.”

“Yes, there was that, but that’s not what I was going to say.”


“What does it feel like, knowing that should you follow your goodness to its conclusion, you will never again enjoy the discovery of new pubic canopies? To forever shutter the windows on that bay window of your adventurer’s soul?”

“Poetic. But I love the pubes of the girl I’m with now.”

“One pube color, until you die.” With that, he and his sharp dark suit rose and glided to the bar blonde with the bitchy back. I could overhear their conversation.

You have excellent posture. Very masculine. I don’t think I’ve seen marine sergeants sit as ramrod straight as you.
Thanks. I try not to slouch.
Posture like that could be intimidating to some men. Let me guess, you love the power rush.
Doesn’t seem to be a problem for you.
I’m quaking in my boots.

I finished my drink and watched a cocktail napkin slide from one hand to another. Old-fashioned and personal. That was his style.

At home, a scribbled note greeted me on the coffee table. “I bought you OJ. Feel better!”

I fumbled around my jeans pocket, found what I was looking for, and sent a text.

interesting… meeting you, general sherman. I might call you.

I burned the tattered tissue paper in my hand with a lighter and mixed myself a screwdriver. My thumb hovered over the delete button.


  1. on August 15, 2011 at 2:04 pm the_alpha_male



  2. Fornicators, idolaters, adulterers, male prostitutes, sodomites, thieves, the greedy, drunkards, revilers, robbers–none of these will inherit the kingdom of God.


  3. frenemy


  4. Hard to inherit the kingdom of god when it doesn’t exist.


  5. There’s only one way to know if you can handle exclusivity: try it and see.

    But the quality of “the one” is largely irrelevant, as has been noted on this blog many times before. More relevant are: the man’s age, sex drive, sexual experience level, and “thrill-seeking” predisposition.


  6. I like reading Don Draper take himself too seriously and then see first comments like that.


  7. I’m fascinated how people are willing to concede their freedom so willingly. Marriage and the open cage prison of monogamy. A career, and its open cage prison to get in the car and drive to the office yet again.

    Why not be the wild thing?

    I guess I don’t get it. Maybe it’s genetic, defeat in man. I for one can’t see how these society rules should prevent me from living MY life. Beautifully written thingie, whatever-your-name-is these days.

    Freedom, and the excitement of ups and downs:


  8. on August 15, 2011 at 2:21 pm Timothy Webster

    People who preach monogamy won’t inherit the Kingdom of God either. Polygamy for the win. MLTRs suck balls.


  9. And why does it feel like Fight Club all up in here?!


  10. this is wonderful writing, and reminds me of these lines:

    What might have been and what has been
    Point to one end, which is always present.
    Footfalls echo in the memory
    Down the passage which we did not take
    Towards the door we never opened
    Into the rose-garden. My words echo
    Thus, in your mind.


    • TS Eliot. I approve.


      • This is how T.S. Eliot treated his wife.

        By 1932, Eliot had been contemplating a separation from his wife for some time. When Harvard offered him the Charles Eliot Norton professorship for the 1932-1933 academic year, he accepted and left Vivienne in England. Upon his return, he arranged for a formal separation from her, avoiding all but one meeting with her between his leaving for America in 1932 and her death in 1947. Vivienne was committed to the Northumberland House mental hospital, Stoke Newington, in 1938, and remained there until she died. Although Eliot was still legally her husband, he never visited her.


      • i wasn’t fantasizing about t.s. eliot. even if big bird wrote those lines, i would still love them.


      • Hey Anton, There’s more to the T.S./Vivienne Eliot story than you lay out above. She developed mental illness, and there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Her having an affair with Bertrand Russell may have been the last straw for him.

        The last time he saw her, she was wearing a black British Union of Fascists uniform, and he broke off all further contact.

        She was committed involuntarily to an institution by her brother when it appeared she had lost touch with reality. Based on her prvious behavior, Eliot’s going to visit her might have stirred up more problems than been helpful.

        So was T.S. Eliot a callous cad? I’m not so sure.


    • For the last 15 years of her life, T.S. Eliot never saw his wife, even after she was committed to a mental hospital.


    • When Eliot was 68 years old, he married a 32 year old secretary…


    • on August 16, 2011 at 4:39 pm drunicusrex romana

      I shall wear white flannel trousers on the beach
      I have heard the mermaids singing each to each
      I do not think they sing for me.
      – TS Eliot, who was a huge beta fagoot


  11. Fuck it. Just marry her and get fucked over. Get it over with.


  12. RE: the girl



  13. I wonder how long before Neecy barrels in here and ruins everything by commenting on every post and trying to convince herself she’s not crazy.


  14. Wait.. Could it be.. Heartiste *possibly* considering monogamy? You can do it H! i have faith in you.


    • Isn’t it beautiful? He’ll start writing more posts about love soon – just as I hoped 🙂


      • LOL. Not so sure about that quite yet. But I definitley sense a change in Heartiste. Knew something was going on. That’s what life is about – changing, growing, and exploring new things. If H, tried monogamy and finds it isn’t for him I will respect him for trying it. Always try something *at least* once. Right?


      • There is more than one writer idiot.


      • I hope he’s found love finally, although the guy in this story appears lonely to me.

        “Always try something *at least* once. Right?”

        I don’t know.


      • “I hope he’s found love finally,”

        Me too!!! 🙂 I’m not sure if its even Heartiste, but whomever it is the fact that they have thought about the downfalls or not so positives of cheating and how it feels to be with one girl he likes is a good story to moi!


      • The difference is that men on this blog don’t give a fuck whether the writer found love or not. We don’t want to know. We’re only interested in his brilliant insights on women and dating.
        You want to turn this legendary blog into a chitchat gossipy shithole. That’s why you don’t belong here. But sometimes, you’re endearing, that’s why i don’t know what to with you.


      • I’m not trying to change anything! Why do you guys keep insisting the women here are trying to change the blog?? We’re not! We just like participating. Of course as women we may have a different way of seeing things (by virtue of being women) and that comes off as trying to change things, but its not. I have accepted this place for what it is and feel its yalls right to have a space to rant and rave about women etc. Women have places like this so I am not against this blog in that way.

        “But sometimes, you’re endearing, that’s why i don’t know what to with you.”

        Just stop fighting me and love me in all your glory!


      • I’m gonna reformulate. You’re attracted to this blog, but you want to transform it to suit your ideals (about love, monogamy, whatever…). Let’s suppose you succeed, you’re gonna dump this blog and look for another challenge. Don’t you see a pattern here?
        That’s exactly why alphas get beta-ized during a marriage. And then, you know, they get ass-raped in the divorce courts.
        Women have no clue about what they want. That’s why we don’t want to listen to what you have to say.
        But then again, you’re sweet, you’re not worse than the other fembots who infested this blog a while ago.


      • Do you seriously think the women are here to change minds? Come on!


      • Cmon guys, don’t be hatin’ on the women for being women and getting all happy Heartiste, or one of those who assume the moniker, might be “going monogamous.” The fact is, the vast majority of men are more happy in a monogamous relationship with the right person, and happily married couples live much longer, happier and healthier lives for a reason.


    • if H is portrayed in this story, I’m fairly sure its the friend in the blue shirt who gets it, and not the beta in the slim cut extra medium t shirt.


      • WTF. The friend in blue suit is beta and the guy in T-shirt is alpha, how can’t you recognize that?!


      • on August 16, 2011 at 2:07 am Anonymous Jew



      • I don’t care who the guy is in the story. The thought of a former player *considering* being monogamous for a girl he’s with and likes- tingles Neecy’s gina!!!


      • Pics or GTFO.


      • Pics ooooof? my gina? NO!


      • We get to choose?


      • That would kinda feel like incest since I view all of you guys here as family and brothers to me. LOL


      • Let’s just be family, that’s new.
        Don’t LJBF me like that. I’ve had enough variants in high school, now I want pussy, show me da pussy…
        And you’re saying that if we weren’t like family, if we were just a bunch of strangers, you would have shown us your juice box, right? Gotcha
        It turns out that even the finest women are just slutty exhibitionnists. How disappointing.


      • If its any consolation. I was joking about he family /brother part. However, even still i wouldn’t show my precious jewel on the net – that’s only for Mr. Right and my OBGYN to see 😉


      • Oh yeah, I have been meaning to ask this since I see it used a lot here – what is LJBF mean? pretty please?


      • to neecy- if u don’t know what ljbf means get the f*** off this blog!


      • Google is your friend. We’re too alpha around here to fall for this shit test.


      • Neecy just wants attention, and doesn’t care if it’s negative.

        If I had a child with that attitude they would soon learn not to seek negative attention.

        It seems Neecy never learned that lesson.

        Bad parenting?

        No matter how many people tell her to leave, she just bounces back for more attention. More negative attention.


      • ,

        I’m sorry you’re having such a bad day. Hope tomm is a better one! 🙂


        Shit test? What’s a shit test? LOL J/k


        “Neecy just wants attention, and doesn’t care if it’s negative. “

        Annnd you are posting about me to further give me attention? You are a str8 up dr. jeckyll and Mr. Hyde. One minute you hold a convo with me the next you are bitching about me. I’ll just not talk to you anymore mmmkay – Dr. Jeckly or is that mr. Hyde?


  15. wtf am i reading?


    • And what’s with this line:

      “interesting… meeting you, general sherman. I might call you.”

      Who is texting whom here? I am lost.


      • You guys have got to be joking.


      • umm DURRR there will be a part 2.

        and texting who?

        its clearly a number from the bar – why he burns the napkin makes this obvious. also deletes it.


      • Quality writing…over the heads of a lot of the commenters, apparently. The man in the suit and the man in the t-shirt are the same person. The man in the t-shirt is the part of himself who is content in his current relationship. The man in the suit represents the itch to get back out and seduce.

        The text is sent by the man to the girl, playing off of the tease about her military-like posture. He can’t decide whether to go through with it or not, because his beau has left him some OJ while he was out. Keeper material.


      • Excellent analysis.


      • Damn you’re good! You are the winner of the day and therefore gets a nice little prize from Neecy.


    • That about summarises my feelings, as well.


    • on August 16, 2011 at 12:50 pm brightstormyday

      The two men are the same person. One is his player side. The other is a slave to monogamy..the person he’s become. They’re battling each other. Can’t you see it?


      • on August 16, 2011 at 12:58 pm brightstormyday

        Oh, that’s already been commented on. I missed it between all the stupid Neecy and Maya comments, plus the tards arguing over whether shouting,”First!” when you’re the first commenter of a blog post is alpha or not.


  16. Just promise not to get her pregnant.


  17. “You were about to fuck her, condomless, …”

    Why do people sleep with each other without protection? It’s almost unbelievable that anyone is that careless about pregnancy and STDs, isn’t it?

    “My thumb hovered over the delete button.”


    Write a book!


  18. “You were about to fuck her, condomless, …”

    Why do people sleep with each other without protection? It’s almost unbelievable that anyone is that careless about pregnancy and STDs, isn’t it?


    • Ever tried putting a condom on after 9 beers on a waterbed?


    • The odds of catching aids from heterosexual sex are virtually nonexistent.
      Condoms suck for men and women.
      Many STDs have obvious symptoms (oral sex is an evolutionary adjustment to spot them. We’re chimps remember, not romantic little snowflakes)
      Therefore, raw dogging carries some risks but there’s no need to dramatize over it.


      • Heartiste dear,

        I’m afraid many young boys are reading your blog and I’m afraid for them to pick up harmful beliefs like these written by Anon.

        What we read in the media (your blog included) sometimes remains stuck in our heads and we can see it as a fact over time, even when we completely forget where we picked it up.


      • I thought that way long before knowing about this blog. What i said about aids is true, the odds are incredibly low. And i’m not saying that unprotected sex is a good thing (chlamydia, hepatitis, syphillis and unwanted pregnancies aren’t fun) but there’s no need to freak out everytime a condom breaks.
        You’re a patronizing drama queen (young boys? the media? WTF), but you’re good hearted. So i won’t push it.
        And… we don’t need girls on this blog, seriously. I smarten up by reading heartiste’s posts, then i dumb down when i read the comments. It was not like this when 99% of the commenters were male.


      • on August 15, 2011 at 10:57 pm Obstinance Works

        Ahhh what’s a minor skin disease to me?


      • Actually, the odds are roughly that you’ll get it sometime in 1000 hours of sex with an infected person. That’s off the top of my head, but at one time I did research this and did the math on it.

        And on top of that the hiv medications only really work for about 80% of people at this time.

        And of course there are other troublesome STDs, other than aids.

        However even with these real risks of herpes, warts, and difficult to treat inflamations, and the non negligable risk of HIV and HIV that remains life threatening after treatment, one can still, in full knowledge of the risks, take those risks.

        After all, people rock climb and jump out of airplanes for fun.


      • STDs are dangerous for girls more than for guys. Chlamydia or Gonorrhea are asymptomatic in half, yet they can cause infertility – without a girl knowing about it … HPV can have no symptoms (before metastases, in extreme cases) Hepatitis C has no symptoms (before liver cancer or cirrhosis). Also, you don’t want to die from adverse effects of HIV medication any more than you want to die from AIDS.

        Get tested and STOP with your risky behaviour immediately and forever.


      • It obviously takes two (or more) for that dangerous behavior so quit whining about girls being affected more.


      • And those that have been fixed, are not being careless about pregnancy.


      • I agree with you that it needs two people, but this about girls being affected more is not whining – it’s a proven fact. (consult Wikipedia)

        It’s not really fun when you find out you won’t be able to have babies naturally.

        I’m worried about girls being so careless about their health – and having casual sex is a risk absolutely not worth taking if you care about your future pregnancies. Every mum wants her baby to be healthy – why lower your chances by getting the neck of your womb damaged from abortion or HPV infection? :S

        I’m worried that such behavior is being promoted on the internet. Some commenters here are insane. And there are other sites like that, unfortunatelly – Roosh is one of such very very sad examples.


      • Commenter Lord Valtrex needs to weigh in on this one.


    • Because it feels ten times better.


  19. What’s my name???

    Tyler Durden! Tyler Durden!


  20. And then you woke up and the nightmare was over… 😉


  21. Life is full of these conundrums. There is no sure thing with any choice; life can only be lived forwards, not backwards. Everything you do will be a mistake; you’ll regret it on some level. But make good mistakes and you won’t regret them.


  22. Test of your game- how did I blow myself out on this one? Got the number of a hard 9 hostess working at a ritzy mega-winery.

    Me: Hey [girl’s name]. I’m letting you know when I build my own super mansion/adult playground you will be my first hire.

    Her: Lol is this [city] boy?

    Me: Yes- though my friends call me [Shocker].

    Her: Haa your so charming. I’m just dying to work for you.

    Me: Great, though when you do you’ll have to wear a bag over your head so you don’t distract my guests.

    (No response to my hard neg. Hit her with direct game that night)

    Me: Hey so we might like each other. What are we going to do about that.

    Her: mr. cool and confident, Lol you are just too good.

    Me: I know, but I don’t know anything about you.

    Her: True ;]



    • If not with your first line, then right here:
      “Hey so we might like each other. What are we going to do about that.”

      Why are you so uncertain? Looking for her for leadership?


    • “Me: Great, though when you do you’ll have to wear a bag over your head so you don’t distract my guests.

      (No response to my hard neg. Hit her with direct game that night)”

      That wasn’t a neg. That was an insult.


      • Actually, that is a neg.

        He set it up as if he’s calling her ugly (“wear a bag over your head”), then counters with a positive reason for doing so (“might distract people with your beauty”) – it’s a backhanded way of saying he finds her pretty, but dare she let it get to her head. It’s balanced. And she takes note.

        He’s complimented her a couple of times in the exchange. I guess he’s a good looking cat himself to carry that well.

        All he didn’t do was close: “What time do you get off tonight?”


      • Yes, he could have closed a lot earlier than he didn’t.


    • overgaming, act normal


    • Seemed like a tough sell from her tone throughout. Although I’d say “I know, but I don’t know anything about you” is a bit of a DLV and gave her the opening to shut you down. She sure wasn’t going to say “Oh in that case let’s have a drink sometime so you can find out more about me”


    • The whole thing sucked. Your opener was crap, you shouldn’t do cocky-funny game over texts. Call her up next time you want to pull stuff like that.


  23. Heartiste, that prose is not as sharp or imposing as your regular plain, descriptive, piercing insights. Rather jaded than cool. Won’t complain though, as else it’s an excellent site, and a 90/10 hit/shit ratio (and all for free) is great. I also enjoy it greatly when you are foaming at the mouth.


  24. Monogamy is one thing but if our host gets married that would clearly be in violation of the most important lesson (unless he gets a REALLY good pre nup and to be honest, I don;t think those are foolproof, either) that was preached on this blog…


    • Put all your assets in a trust.


      • And it’s also possible to have your income anonymous and off the grid.

        The best case scenario is to have several steady off the grid sources of income that are portable, and to keep with you at all times hidden in a few unnoticeable locations some data cards that includes your business info as well as scans of your travel documents, and a chunk of gold. And try to always have a few bank cards on you at all times – but not all of them.

        You want to be able to cut and run any situation with what you are wearing.


      • Oh – and always encode your passwords in a way that only you remember how do decode, so that in the likely event that your passwords are ever stolen, they will be useless to others. Don’t write down how to decode.


      • Shit, marriage in the US sounds creepy. You have to be a fucking 007 to avoid divorce rape. Good luck with that. Better to move to another continent if you really wanna start a family.


      • You need to be a fucking 007 no matter which lifestyle you want to pursue. Women are dangerous.

        Anyone who deals intimately with women needs to be prepared for the worst.


      • True that.


      • “Anyone who deals intimately with women needs to be prepared for the worst.”

        Anyone who deals intimately with men needs to be prepared for the worst.


      • Great tips though.


  25. Fan Fuckin Tastic. Need to point my damn fool married friend to this one. Plus the writing style sounds like him. Nice work.


  26. on August 15, 2011 at 3:58 pm (r)Evoluzione

    Poetic. Well-written. A departure from much of the previous milieu of Chateau posts.

    So were you about delete Adele’s phone number, or the bitch-backed blonde at the bar? Or one in the same?

    This does take the Heartiest blog in a new direction.


  27. I hope it was a stiff drink.


  28. on August 15, 2011 at 4:03 pm (r)Evoluzione

    Great negs from your suited, bespoke friend, by the way.


  29. Too many “men” are leaving that OJ note.


  30. Intelligent men cheat, but it’s timid, almost dutiful and laced with regret; but intelligent women love to cheat.

    There is no look of avidity, focus and rapture you will ever see that comes close to the look on the face of a smart, pretty female on her knees in front of a new cock.

    Because she’s chosen it; because that’s her whole life and mind.


    • “There is no look of avidity, focus and rapture you will ever see that comes close to the look on the face of a smart, pretty female on her knees in front of a new cock.”


      So you followed a ‘smart, pretty female’ and saw her face when she was on her journey from one cock to another?

      Grow up.


    • I’ve seen that face too, my friend. That face will break your heart if you’re the old cock, and by god, gives you free license to do unspeakable things when you’re the new one.


      • I don’t get what you guys wrote … How can you possibly see a face (which breaks your heart etc.) of a girl who moved to a new cock?! You have to go with her to see that …

        You guys have no idea about women. You should read this blog more carefully or ask your female friends for advice because you sound so deluded that I just can’t stop commenting here :S


      • Fucking A, can we lid the contagion of harpies on this board?

        First time: Facebook photo of a girl dancing with the guy she left me for the night they hooked up. Avidity, focus, rapture- the emotional high was visible.

        Second time: Cute little engaged neighbor watching me crush her from behind in the mirror- and the next day when I bent her over right before she left to pick up her fiance from the airport. Unmistakable.


      • Oh, OK. I see you have some bad experience (+ lots of imagination) …

        I agree that women are hypergamous, but that doesn’t mean we’re interested in “new cocks” – that’s what n/a wrote and that’s what I was commenting!
        Read n/a’s comment again and you’ll see how disturbing it is. At least it’s very disturbing to me as a woman. Not because I’m also hypergamous – don’t rationalize, but because his comment is so disrespectful and also incorrect, yet he tries to be poetic and that’s why he’s even more annoying. Hope you understand what I want to say …


      • Maya,

        You have no experience in these matters, so why would you imagine that you have knowledge?

        You are such a goofy little addled eurostrumpet that you need your f’ing brain spanked.

        Pipe down and learn. Women love new cock — if it’s attached to a charming and powerful man.

        And you know nothing about this. But if you’re a crazy lil’ cutie-pie like I think you must be, I’ll let you roll my cock around in your mouth until you experience fresh cock satori.

        Until then stop prattling. And when I pull my cock out of your drooling and blessedly wordless mouth it’s going straight up your ass in all its blue-veined unprotected glory. Can’t you just picture it?

        Go off somewhere and picture it.


      • Some girls get an extra special kick from fucking another guy on their wedding day.

        I passed up such an invite from a girl once. A month after she was married she had a new fiance, and two weeks after that another.

        She was 37 and all her boy toys, fiances, and husbands were way younger than her. It was down to her amazing tits, and blowjob skills, I’m sure.


      • How many women have you fucked Maya?

        You know shit about women. Introspection in women DOES NOT WORK.

        It is impossible for you to know how to seduce women, unless you practice seducing women.

        So either shut the fuck up or go away. This is a space for men to discuss how to pick up women. This is not a space for female relationship chatter.


      • Ir’s all part of a feminist agenda to get this blog to talk about the power and majesty of love. It’s brilliant actually because heartiste can thus create more beta providers and perpetuate the feminist dream (ie slutting it up and then settling down).
        No, girls, seriously, get the fuck out of this blog.


      • “You know shit about women. Introspection in women DOES NOT WORK.”

        Thank you.

        I have been skipping over all posts by females on this board for this exact reason. Some people just don’t get it.

        Men > Women > Children > Animals


      • hmmm … im giving neecy a +1 for improving. maya gets a -1 for downgrading


      • maya- if you want to read this blog – okay. But please spare us your babble. You don’t know shit about this subject.


      • You’re a fucking moron. You see the face when your cock is the new one… Please just fucking go away you vapid twit.


      • You don’t lose the girl. You just lose your turn.


  31. Roissy wants advice for his predicament. Can he play the field forever he wants to know?


  32. This is how you begin a book.


  33. Good writing. I like the introspection. Don’t let others get you down. Always remember misery loves company.


  34. “In old age, you’ll forget everything but moments like that. You’ll forget your kids’ names but you’ll recall with perfect clarity the night of that dance of streetlight, bed, and pubes. And the others like it.”

    This is a truth that far too many men will never be comfortable embracing. My father passed away almost a year ago. He’d been addled with Alzheimers and dementia for 6 or 7 years prior. He couldn’t remember my daughter’s name, my niece, nephew, my wife’s name, but he sure as hell remembered the women he’d been with. He knew damn well he was single (twice divorced actually) and even in his condition was still pursuing pussy in the assisted care facility.


    • There is a readers submission lately about an old fart who due to his highly sociable lifestyle get plenty of new poon constantly, much of it young.

      There is a class of both men and women for whom this reality is forbidden to believe.


    • Haha. I plan to be still chasing pussy when I’m demented. Oh, wait… I already am demented when I am out bagging bitches.


  35. “She had a boyfriend. Which I found out about later. I met him, briefly. Shook his hand and everything just to make her uncomfortable. She didn’t know if I was crazy enough to mention our tryst. Of course, I didn’t. But I loved that spectacle. It’s not often one gets a chance to smother a woman so thoroughly with her clandestine evil.”

    I will never understand how what she did is considered evil, but for guys it’s ok and encouraged. And don’t even start with how one’s worse than the other. Cheating is cheating. There’s no excuse for it no matter how you spin it.

    If you want to fly free, find someone who’s into open relationships or someone who just doesn’t care. That way, you won’t feel any guilt. Or have friends with benefits.


    • When you begin a comment with “I will never understand” you should consider ending it right there. 😉


    • ‘I will never understand how what she did is considered evil.’

      She was in a relationship, and she fucked another guy without using protection. What about that is giving you trouble?


      • Ummmm, the fact that Roissy has mentioned PLENTY of times tactics to avoid being caught cheating, ways to make you girlfriend stop asking you if you’ve been cheating, mentions of Roissy cheating on his girlfriend at the time by Roissy himself, stories of cheating done by the commentors, etc., etc.

        In these instances, there is no mention of cheating being wrong.


      • You must be new here. Women in LTRs cheating is inexcusable. Men cheating is normal. Now if you are really a woman too, go’ooon GIT!

        We need some analysis of why some women are so fucking tenacious and irritating when it is clear that their presence is not wanted.


      • “Men cheating is normal…”

        Wow, way to make excuses lol. NO cheating is excusable. You make the choice to submit to your “urges”. People get hurt, trust is broken. Even if you don’t get caught, it’s all a facade. Even if men are able to “compartmentalize”, they’re still sharing themselves in an intimate way with someone else on the side. How can men with your mentality be trusted, especially in a LTR? What about STDs?

        Perhaps I am a romantic lol…


      • Ok apparently I forgot to put my name lol.


    • If you want to fly free, find someone who’s into open relationships or someone who just doesn’t care. That way, you won’t feel any guilt. Or have friends with benefits.



    • A cheating wife can get pregnant. That’s all i need to know to call her a filthy whore.
      A cheating husband, even if he gets his mistress pregnant, won’t have to fool his wife into taking care of his bastard.
      This issue isn’t even about logic, it’s about perception, and perception=hindbrain=evolutionary driven dynamics.
      H talks about it here:


      • Oh I’ve read it. It still doesn’t change anything.

        There may be reasons why cheating may have less impact if done by men, but it’s not an EXCUSE. Nor should it be considered ok to do. It’s still wrong no matter who does it.


      • Morally, it’s wrong. Romantically, it’s evil. Evolutionarily speaking, it just is.
        A high status male can get away with cheating. A low status male cannot. The ability of a woman to get away with cheating doesn’t depend on her value, but the value of her mate (an alpha will dump her, a beta will have to rationalize the humiliation and the lack of options with platitudes about love).
        Since you seem to be an eternal romantic, your best bet is to avoid alphas with options, and pay the price by settling with an optionless beta.


      • Who says that a beta is automatically optionless? Who says that I’m “paying a price”? Heck, who says that an alpha will cheat by default (this whole linear alphas cheat/betas won’t thinking is a little problematic in my opinion)


      • I guess we’re going by some type of statistics here.


      • Instead of alpha/beta, a cad/dad dichotomy is more relevant.

        “Who says that a beta is automatically optionless?”

        He has less options that an alpha cad, and he’s more inclined to provide for a family, and less likely to seek sexual variety

        “Who says that I’m “paying a price”?”

        An alpha cad is more sexually attractive than a beta dad. That’s the price to pay.

        “Heck, who says that an alpha will cheat by default ”

        He won’t cheat by default. He’s simply more likely to cheat.

        This is not about statistics, it’s about the general concepts of evolutionary psychology. You can always consider it like a pseudo science and dismiss it totally. But all the concepts on this blog and in the pua community rely heavily on it, and the field results of the pua wannabees sound like empirical evidence.


    • True, but I think it’s evil what she did, and it’s evil when it’s done by men also.


      • What I mean is, no matter what else happens (cuckoldry, using resources on the other women, introducing STDs into the relationship), it’s always deception and destruction of trust. Evil.


      • My point exactly.


      • on August 16, 2011 at 4:56 pm drunicusrex romana

        It’s evil if men cheat, certainly, but the penalties for men (alimony, loss of parental rights, prison, et ) are far, far greater for men as well.
        Women, much like children, are generally excused by our society from having the same responsibilities as men.
        Women have all of our privileges, but none of our responsibilities.
        All the same, I am still beyond grateful for my mathematics abilities, my upper body strength, and my sane, strong, confident mind.


  36. Welcome back, Rollo. I have no trouble believing the story about your father.


  37. This is the first time I’ve been moved to comment in over 2 years of reading.



  38. was the end of this story a narrative trick ? that’s the way i read it.

    was beta in slim fit tee, the same as the guy in the suit ?


  39. Men can play the field indefinetly, ““How much longer can you go on breathing? You see the absurdity in your question.”” if they so choose too. However, as you have alluded to in previous posts, (Game is driving me away from love) there comes a time when a man wants to settle down. Wants to experience real monogamous love. Maybe even falling “in-love”. When that ends up being, is different for every individual. And whether that ends up lasting also depends on the individual.

    Women however, have a limited time in which to secure the cream of the crop and therefore most who feel the need to act on their hypergamous instincts will end up riding every horse on the carousel of cock that they can by the age of 30. (Remember in more primitive times when something was wrong with a woman when she wasn’t married with children by the age of 25? Oh wait… That was only 500 years ago…)

    This disparity between the two sexes is what causes the majority of cheating, infidelity, sluttiness on the female side.

    The male side has been extensively covered and I will not re-hash that.


    • “Wants to experience real monogamous love. Maybe even falling “in-love”.”

      Everyone wants to. But CAN he?


  40. Are trimmed yet full pubes back on the early-twenties set?


    • Scissored close is best. But the sluts are still shaved, pimpled and razor-burned. Don’t forget that emu oil, baby.

      Still there’s a lot to be said for a nice sweet and slimy, naked little clam.


      • I’m not embarassed to admit that a pre-pubescent vagina on a post-pubescent woman is a turn on.

        It’s not supposed to be, but it is.

        It just is.


      • “I’m not embarassed to admit that a pre-pubescent vagina on a post-pubescent woman is a turn on.”

        That’s because it cuts down on rug burn.


      • I had my first experience with shaved pubes before it was common. The woman was in her early forties.

        It was a kink.

        No one wants to admit that it’s a kink.

        But there is a reason that it’s now so common.

        Because it gets the dick hard.

        It’s not SUPPOSED to. No one will admit it. Therefore it is a common kink.

        What’s the name of that kids TV show with the pre-pubescent girl with the orange hair? Tell me you have no pedophile tendencies buried somewhere in your dna after watching her.

        Somewhere inside men is an appreciation of the naked pussy.


      • Here is another hidden kink that is rare for men to admit to.

        Call the girl “daughter” during sex, and then feel how her vagina and voice reacts.

        We have several hidden kinks that we aren’t supposed to.

        Try play rape too.


      • I googled “pink haired girl pedophile” and found in the 2nd result that the show is called lazytown.

        2nd result.


      • xsplat! I love your mash-up work.


      • Best. Video. Ever.


      • There was a Marylin Monroe level famous TV star here in Indonesia who started her mega airtime career at age 11.

        Indonesians seem to have no qualms about young age in their sex symbols.

        She’s still famous and doing well now, about 7 years later, but her appeal seems to have diminished.


      • Turns out we aren’t pedophiles for being attracted to stephanie. She was about 13 or 14 when she was playing that 8 year old character on lazytown. So she was already bleedy.

        I’m one of the very slim minority of men who will admit that menstrual 11 to 14 year olds can be disturbingly attractive.

        But to a man everyone who watches Stephanie admits she’s hot.

        Again, in some countries, the taboo against this is less fierce. In Indonesia and surrounding areas for instance, girls are considered sexual once they bleed. Not long ago marriage at age 11 was not uncommon. The sex symbols on TV here can be early teen.

        We get that in the west sometimes too, with 11 year old supermodels. But we just hate it more.

        Stephanie is now about 20 – similar in age to my girlfriend.

        I used to have a 21 year old girlfriend who everyone mistook for being about 14.

        It was hot as hell.


      • on August 16, 2011 at 5:31 pm brightstormyday

        Dude…this is creepy. Seriously creepy.


      • xsplat,

        you’re very disturbing. I believe you that you fantasize about sex with 11 y.o. girls, but please keep it to yourself. Girls at that age are the usual victims of sexual abuse. And this have life-long consequences, sometimes. Would you ruin a girl’s life for your pleasure?

        Look, I don’t judge you for fantasizing about that, but just as we keep our fantasies about killing people to ourselves, please do stop talking about your pedophilia.

        I believe that somewhere in the past it was a great idea to rape a 11 y.o girl (like it was a great idea to hurt or kill people you didn’t like), but now it’s 2011 and if you want to live among other people you have to be socially acceptable.


      • xsplat,

        you’re very disturbing. I believe you that you fantasize about sex with 11 y.o. girls, but please keep it to yourself. Girls at that age are the usual victims of sexual abuse. And this have life-long consequences, sometimes. Would you ruin a girl’s life for your pleasure?

        I don’t judge you for fantasizing about that, but just as we keep our fantasies about killing people to ourselves, please do stop talking about your pedophilia.

        I believe that somewhere in the past it was a great idea to rape a 11 y.o girl (like it was a great idea to hurt or kill people you didn’t like), but now it’s 2011 and if you want to live among other people you have to be socially acceptable.


      • If you laugh at this video you are going to hell.


      • I started laughing when I saw the title, before it loaded. Express elevator to the Second Circle for me.

        I reached a place where every light is muted,
        which bellows like the sea beneath a tempest,
        when it is battered by opposing winds.

        The hellish hurricane, which never rests,
        drives on the spirits with its violence:
        wheeling and pounding, it harasses them. …

        I learned that those who undergo this torment
        are damned because they sinned within the flesh,
        subjecting reason to the rule of lust. …

        There is no hope that ever comforts them
        no hope for rest and none for lesser pain.

        Love, that can quickly seize the gentle heart,
        took hold of him because of the fair body
        taken from me how that was done: still wounds me. …

        Alas, how many gentle thoughts, how deep a longing,
        had led them to the agonizing pass! …

        — Dante, “Inferno” Canto V


      • on August 15, 2011 at 11:13 pm Obstinance Works

        Shaved is great. Plucked even better.


  41. @PA
    Seems to be. full on waxing appears to enjoy continued popularity though, too.


  42. @The Shocker

    You screwed up with this:
    “Me: Hey so we might like each other. What are we going to do about that.”

    what you said was “we like each other” what she heard was “I like you”

    Game is like poker, instead of showing your cards, you get her to play her hand instead. I know because I made a similar mistake last week by pretty much telling a girl outright I wanted to hookup with me. Also, texts should be a last resort to use in case you can’t get the hookup then and there. I’ve found that too much texting or text-only interaction with a chick leads to them flaking or getting stale and bored with you.


    • Ya, flirting is tricking the girl into showing interest.

      People don’t actually have intention and free will. What we do is judge our actions, and then decide that must be what we wanted to do.

      So the trick is to get the girl to act interested, then she will think that she is.

      Asking her if she is interested is not how to get her to believe that she is interested. That interferes with the process, rather than positively influences it.

      Step by step you get her to perfom actions that look as if she is into you. Kino, for instance. Compliance tests are another example.

      Don’t spell it out that you could make an affection contract of reciprocity. That reduces tension. Get her to feel as if she is chasing you, and do that by getting her to act as if she is into you.

      She will back rationalize her actions as intentional.


  43. Makes me wonder how old is the author that he has to deal with all that “hurr durr over the edge” stuff


  44. comment in mod…why?


  45. The blog authorities do well to let comments run wild. Usually.

    However I’m sure some of us wouldn’t mind if they stepped in and did a little moderation to prune down some of the dead wood.


  46. The blog ath0rities do well to usually just leave the comments section unmoderated.

    But I’m sure many of us would appreciate the occasional dead wood pruning around here.

    Who agrees?


    • +1


    • Half of what’s posted here either gets stuck in moderation hell or is simply eaten up. Makes it hard to have a conversation. The webmaster is incompetent, lazy, or trying to micromanage spontaneous discussion.

      Does WordPress have a forum function?

      This blog’s talent has attracted talent to it. The webmaster should be less Andrew Sullivan and more Andrew Breitbart: facilitate a quality exchange and quality will rise to the top, all while getting the best possible feedback to the original material. Hold tight control over your hobbyhorse issues and watch people lose interest. You start believing your own web traffic and personal paranoias begin reinforcing each other.

      Game/PUA/MRA — that alphabet soup heralding the renaissance of men — needs a clearinghouse forum. In its absence, we lurk in the underworld of capriciously moderated comment sections and the stunted conversations that result.

      Does anyone know of a more open forum with intelligent commentary? I’m sure there are other sites, but without the regularly excellent original postings that set the tone on this site, the commentary devolves quickly into least-common-denominator garbage.

      I posted a couple comments on a previous thread that just vanished or said

      Your comment is awaiting moderation.

      On the one hand, who gives a shit? It’s forgettable commentary on a forgettable forum. On the other hand, fuck you.

      As far as banning commenters to spare some whiny readers the vapors, critics don’t realize how difficult (and how much work) it is to moderate fairly. If the webmaster were savvy about this, he would go to a token payment system or registration — some minimal barrier to entry — and moderate with a light hand. Commenters who are minimally invested think before they click send.

      The page has to keep up with technology. Opening a general forum function would keep off-topic subjects (like this one) off-page but still encourage general readership participation, which is as much of an asset as the posts are. A good editor would recognize the opportunity.

      It seems this blogger is a little flaky about what opportunities his good writing has opened up for him. There’s no solving that.


      • Sorry King A, but I have to jump in here and stick up for H on this one. I have a word press blog and sometimes for no reason it just holds comments for moderation. Even on here some of my comments get held for moderation or just get lost in cyberspace and then the next comment will go through. There is no rhyme or reason to it. I didn’t understand that until I having my own word press blog.

        Even people who have posted millions of times, sometimes it will hold the comments. What the trigger is I have no clue. Its very annoying b/c then people start feeling that its them being moderated when its really just word press doing it. So I can guarantee you its not Heartiste moderating comments. It just seems like a word press malfunction thing. *shrugs*


      • This place is mostly unm0derated. When your comment gets stuck in m0d it’s because you used a m0deration trigger keyword.

        These keywords seem random, as they aren’t what you’d expect. Auth_r, auth_rity, are a few.


      • Extremely rarely posts get m_dded by being partially or fully dleted, but that won’t happen on the fly. Your post would first appear, then disappear.

        A few people have been kicked out of here through mderation. Apparently many people feel it’s about time for a new cleansing.


      • Also, wordpress does not have a forum function.

        Blogs sometimes have separate forums. Rooshv has that, I believe. Blog and forum software is distinct and specialized, and there is no blofrum software.

        Also, for some unknowable reason, this website is not hosted on an owned domain, but is kept on , and so this limits what software can be installed here.

        It would be sweet to have a setup similar to thespearhead where posts with negative votes get hidden unless you click to see them.

        Please request this of the management, here or by private email.


      • Appreciate the info, Neecy and xsplat. I’ll choose to be less frustrated then.

        It seems the next step to anything decent would require an investment. If I had spent five years creating 20 million page views and a near fanatical core loyalty to the brand, I’d be leveraging my asset. Instead he changes it up every six months, like he’s some speakeasy one step ahead of coppers. This blog is “The Wire.”

        Entrepreneurs and hobbyists are spiritual antitheses. Damn dirty hippie. And not just in the “free love” department. Grow or die.


      • King,

        Yes I am shocked with the amount of traffic Heart receives that he doesn’t have his own domain and site. He could even get advertisers to pay him with the kind of traffic he gets. I am assuming he hasn’t made these kinds of steps b/c he simply may be very busy in his day to day life and cannot spend the time it takes to run and manage a site of his own, or maybe this is just a side hobby for him and doesn’t want it to feel like “work” per se? Don’t know but I am sure there is some reasoning behind him not pushing his obvious success with this blog to the next level.

        Maybe as well he is going through some own personal changes in his own life. Over a course of 3-4 years people’s lives can change, their thoughts, opinions and previous beliefs can also slowly change as well.

        Change can be hard and uncomfortable for a lot of people and I think some of the complaints here about the women posting, the commenting and blog posts are just examples of how uncomfy change is – but in life its inevitable. Nothing stays the same forever!


      • Hosting your own WordPress blog isn’t as easy as it sounds, you have to contend with your own server, with the amount of traffic you say he receives, I doubt that a shared server will be enough. Not only will he have to worry about the constant upgrades to WordPress and the plugins you’re bound to use, you will also have to think whether upgrading any or all of them will break anything.

        He can buy a domain through which will cost him around $10-$15, I think, if I remember it correctly, but like what you said, he changes his ID constantly so it’s not a wise investment.

        @xsplat: ExpressionEngine has a blog and forum built in its system but it costs an arm and a leg and I’m not sure if it has a hosted version, but even then, I doubt if it’s going to be free.


      • Actually, it’s a very wise decision to not make a business out of your passion.

        I read somewhere recently, perhaps on, that recompense for what you enjoy sucks the joy out of it.

        I’d also imagine that monetizing your writing could threaten to influence what you say, as unpopular writing would earn less $.

        There is a life satisfaction to doing some things for motivations other than $. And life satisfaction is not a $ issue.


  47. For the love of God, may we please remove the nested comment structure?

    These comments were once one of the great assets of this blog. They are now very difficult to follow.

    Roissy or whoever is in charge around here, would you please change it back and restore order to the force?


  48. @xsplat

    The various attention whoring females around here as of recent are certainly reducing the quality of the comments.

    Bring down the ban hammer, please. No shame in that.

    Until then, we should ignore said attention whores. They will tire eventually.


    • This has been mentioned several times. Too many commentors here lack either the will or discipline.

      Moderation with an electric mosquito zapper is the only answer to swat the pesky gnats away.


    • No borders, no peace. No liberty without law. Order rises spontaneously when people are invested in their surroundings. Otherwise it is a tragedy of the commons. Otherwise they click on.

      Dan, you’re making a category mistake about the female commenters. They aren’t attention whores, they are starving for the truth, and this is one of the few outlets among the thousands and millions of propaganda organs and thoughtless reiterations of the bullshit zeitgeist. Ignoring the girls won’t make them go away. They are as hungry as you are.

      Anyway, if they are attention whores, you just indulged them. You fed the beast.

      Men don’t solve problems through complaining. It doesn’t wear well on us. We look like bitches. It’s never a good policy to alert someone else to a difficulty we’re having in the hopes they will be our hero and take care of it for us. The problem isn’t the women. The problem is, things aren’t the way they used to be when this blog was less popular.

      Improvise, adapt, overcome. If it really bugs you to do the extra scrolling, then take up the janitorial project and clear them out of here. There are ways to effect change without running to legislature and special-plead for yet one more regulation in our lives.


  49. Wait, were there 2 guys in the story? Or was it a figment? How did the guy end up with the number when the suit guy got the number. Ok, this is a fight club angel/devil thing. Ok, I’m with you. Not used to “writing” on a blog.


    • They were both Roissy


    • You’re the first commenter to actually deal with the elephant in the room about the above post.

      Yes, I believe he was referring to a talk he had with himself.

      And, no, he didn’t hit the delete button on his phone. The napkin had to be burned in any case.


  50. I don’t know how much wisdom there is in admitting this openly, on this blog of all places, but I just wanted to get this off my chest at the risk of being branded as another “attention whoring female”:

    As a woman, this sort of thing makes me sad.

    Most of the time I don’t think about it too much. I know, factually, that men and women have differing biological agendas in their quest to pass on genes and I’ve long accepted it. But then I read something like this, which seems so… personal (regardless of whether or not it’s fictional) and it makes the reality that much more heartbreaking. That even if a woman (and mind you, I don’t know if the girlfriend in the post qualifies) does right by her man, looks after her appearance, seeks to please him in all aspects, there may always be a part of him that is never entirely satisfied.

    His genes, his hormones, his buzzing neurons all driving a hidden restlessness that could manifest at the first opportune moment in unbidden infidelity.

    Doesn’t matter if he’s alpha or beta, religious or otherwise – the potential may still be there, bubbling away beneath the surface.


    Well-written none the less, OP.


    • Are you aware that women cheat roughly as much as men do?


      • Not all cheating is the same.

        There’s the opportunistic bang (male).

        There’s the emotional attachment to someone new (female).

        And the There’s something wrong in my relationship (neutral).

        Women are so afraid of men cheating because they think we cheat for the same reason they do- an emotional connection to someone new/better. They don’t realize that men typically have to pursue that kind of relationship- it’s not something that “just happens” to most men.

        Women, you think man’s need to take down new tail is so bad? What if instead of wanting to hit a hot piece of ass, we were driven to create a unique, powerful, emotional, sexual and affectionate bond with every member of the opposite sex that impressed us? Which do you think is the more devastating?


      • Yes, but a cheating female, whether it’s emotional or purely sexual, is still susceptible to be impregnated (contraceptives are irrelevant, it’s all hindbrain related). Therefore, a wife spreading her legs for someone else is always a thermonuclear blast to the male’s ego (except cuckold fetishists).
        A husband having a meaningless fling is not a threat to the female from an evolutionary perspective. But it can seriously damage the emotional bond and the mutual trust. However, an alpha can get away with it, a beta gets nothing but his ass whipped in the divorce courts.


      • Women are remarkably attentive to a man spending his resources on a girl.

        A girl might be quietly gritting her teeth and putting up with infidelity, but as soon as she learns of resource transfers, she’ll throw her poo at you.

        There are two schools of thought regarding honesty if you fuck around. Never admit anything, even if the girl is watching you fuck your mistress, or never lie.

        I’m of the never lie school, but with a twist. Never lie, yet never offer any information. Don’t deny, and don’t necessarily confirm.

        It really does help if you aren’t breaking a bond of trust, and are merely spreading the joy. The girl will still hate it, but she won’t be able to smack you over the head with the accusation of breaking trust.


      • I am aware that women cheat (though I did not know how the rates compared), but I don’t have much to say about women cheating because I have no experience with such things. Frankly the idea of it makes me ill. I would sincerely hope that I am never in a situation where the thought would occur to me, and if for unforeseen reasons it did, that I have maintained awareness of what I stand to lose and held onto my values tightly enough to retain my self-control.


    • Infidelity rates are nearly the same for both sexes. What are you talking about? The posture of a victim is always comfortable for a woman.
      Female infidelity is worsen far worse and it doesn’t make us sad, it makes us shaking with rage. And yet, we just suck it up. However you need to read this:


    • Good post M. Understanding game/attraction dynamics can help your monogamous relationships as well..

      ‘I know what you’re giving up. I understand I may be less attracted to you for giving it up. But I will respect you more, and, in turn, promise never to hurt you either.’


  51. Heartiste, with posts like this, an Alpha like you could wipe cum off his chiseled chin and not give a shit.

    This shit’s gay Alpha.


  52. So the man is two men: part of him wants to be true to his girlfriend, while the other part still yearns for the adventure of playing the field. A moral self and an immoral self.

    I find it interesting that the post is from the point of view of the moral self.

    I am led to interpret the narrator as the conscious mind, as the self who must conform to certain societal expectations in order to navigate through day-to-day life successfully. I am then led to interpret the other, immoral self as man’s biological nature which must be at odds with social norms. A self which somehow ‘escapes’ morality in its service to biological imperatives.

    By keeping the wool over the reader’s eyes until the last moment of your story, when you finally reveal that the two people are actually one person, you seem to be making a statement: we may think we can separate ourselves from our base desires and needs and be satisfied with only one woman, but in reality there is no escape, and as long as we tie ourselves down, we will fail to be true to ourselves.

    But there is something else lurking beneath the surface of this parable. Notice how stylized and calculating the banter is between the amoral self and the arch-backed blonde. The indulgence in the cultured and artistic depictions of the optical geometry of pubes. Perhaps most revealing: The methodical (eager?) precision with which the now-unified self enacts its servility to societal expectations by burning the girl’s number and deleting the sent text.

    Rather than lurking beneath the surface, it is actually brazenly visible. The socially conditioned and constructed self is not so much inseparable from biological determinism as the other way around: “biology” is, from the very beginning, a concept created and employed in the service of the social. The man yearns poetically and nostalgically for an idealized “biology” that could allow him to escape from his responsibilities in the social world, from accountability and from conscience. Something to make him immune. But unfortunately, as Phife Dawg says, “Nobody is safe.”


  53. Peekaboo! still here! hee! hee!


    • Are you aware of the concept “signal to noise ratio”?


      • ratios has to do with maths. her being asian doesn’t trump her being a girl, so no.


      • On and off this blog people have been complaining that the low signal to noise ratio is causing this blogs comments section to go to shit.

        Some are even so turned off they are starting to question the quality of the entire blog – writing included.

        The girls won’t go away, people don’t like it, and it is having an effect on who wants to stick around and comment in this place.


      • She actually said something relatively incisive about you in a post the other day.

        You’re xspalt and she’s azn so I don’t see the problem. Time for a little dance behind the bamboo curtain.


      • I wouldn’t know, as I don’t read her comments, unless by accident of rapid scanning.


      • Oh, you mean the comment about having been deeply heartbroken over the loss of my mate.

        I’m not sure how incisive that was, considering how I’d detailed that event and process several times, both here and on my blog. To her credit she is one of the few women who didn’t openly mock my grief.

        Many women were viciously cruel regarding my loss.


      • It’s a pain I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. A fate worse than death. I hope it never happens to anyone here.


      • If you read my comments including the ones with the hee hee! lol you’ll know exactly what kind of woman I am and not be sooooo surprised about the fact that i would ever mock anyone about their grief.


      • Yes, What, I know that you are not viciously cruel, as a surprising number of women are.

        You are merely vapid and talkative.


      • Vapid is by choice and talkative? You must be talking about someone else and that only shows just how your observational skills needs polishing.


      • My dad who is still young (in his 50’s) just lost his wife two years ago. Its a hard adjustment. i feel for him. But he’s picking up the pieces.


      • That’s sweet and commendable that you “feel for him”, however I don’t think empathy is up to the challenge, when it comes to having a clue what it’s like to have your mate die.

        Unless it happens to you, you really have no way of understanding what it might feel like. There is nothing else that it feels like.


      • I never said i could understand what he felt like. But i see him often and I see what he has to go through trying to re-adjust his life without a woman whom he was very close with and loved dearly – and who did EVERYTHING for him.


      • Maybe a full body ear-ache would come close, if it followed you into your dreams, and you felt it in your soul.

        But the loss of a mate to death is not similar enough to the loss of a mate to any other reason to be comparable.


      • I’m sure its not. I can’t imagine who would mock someone losing a mate to death though.


      • Your grief is evident in your promiscuity. You are still grieving your mate and your love for her is transparent in your frivolity. It’s like the movie I saw in a course I took called “The last tango in paris”. It’s sad….Not mocking, just feeling your pain.


      • Ya, I know, right?

        The funny thing was, a whole gaggle of girls got in on that action, on and off this blog.

        I guess they didn’t like the way I had described my relationship – the girl was 17 years younger and acted as a love slave. I wrote on the blog a lot about the power of being dominant in your long term relationship.

        I often got grief over my attitude towards relationship, as it’s as anti feminist as you can get. Girls would attack her for being asian, would deny that she existed, and then finally when she died would attack me for getting online and mentioning that she died – and in the same breath denying that she really existed. As if reaching out in such a time would not be anyones natural reaction.

        Even Dana – the girl with the masculine brain – was eager to get in on the action of dissing my love slave, her existence, and my very grief over her death.

        Random girls who were barely familiar with my writing jumped in, over on another blog. The blog of the bitch – whatever her name was. Oh ya, “Lady Rain”.

        It was an education in the vicious cruelty of individual and groups of females.

        Men. do. not. ever. act. like. that.


      • What, you are just pulling theories out of your ass.

        I was as equally prone to both being in love and being promiscuous before and after that one mate.

        And I’ve had several mates in my life. She happened to be my favorite, but love still came easily both before and after her.

        Nothing in my attitude to relationship changed either before or after her, other that I’m slightly better now with women, and my expectations are slightly higher.


      • Women are capable of outstanding, mind boggling, displays of kicking a man when he is down.

        They will gather around any random man on the ground and get in their kicks.


      • Well XSPLAT sorry to hear that. Mocking the death of *anyone* is just tacky and asking for bad karma to come your way.


      • Neecy, they didn’t exactly mock her death. They were first of all outraged that she existed to begin with, and would question if she existed at all, and question her worth and value and relationship to me, owing that she was just “a stupid SE Asian” as Dana put it. They hated her, I assume, for being a devoted love slave, and did everything in their power to slander her existence.

        So when on the day she died I wrote about it here, they kept on with the same reaction. Outrage! They were still outraged! They still questioned if she even existed, and they found it outrageous that I would mention her death online, on the day of her death. As if I should instead be too grief stricken to be able to type. Or something. There may be no real “reasoning” behind their outrage, but it was a clear continuation of the same outrage they expressed during her life.

        That she was alive outraged them, and that she dead outraged them.


      • Some people have a difficult time accepting choices of other people unless it conforms to their own as if their own is “THE” right choice. These people judges and are intolerant to differences. Their egotistical stance displayed itself through their rage and insistence in their comments. (BTW, I have never read your blog so I don’t have any idea what you wrote.) Your choice to write about your mate that died sparked hatred amongst these ladies only demonstrated the lack of empathy people have for others and their blindness to and acceptance of how everyone grieves differently. There IS no right and wrong in how we grief. It is our own personal relationship with the one we love. I cannot begin to imagine what it was like for you to loose someone you care so deeply for nor do I want to assume what it was like for fear that I would underestimate the pain you must have felt. I have lose two people that meant and still mean the world to me and my understanding of grief is that it NEVER ends and it will return to us when we least expect it.


      • Here…music helps, least for me.

        : )) lalalalala!!


  54. Let’s not whine about the women. Women on this blog are like weather. A heat wave of late summer vagina mind.

    It’ll pass.


    • The weather isn’t willfully pernicious.


      • Willfully pernicious might be ascribing too much intent and intelligence to the female commentors here, however I do believe that this is the subconscious intent of females here. To muddle and muddie the waters. To distract and dissimulate. To confound the male imperative. To replace the male impetus with the female agenda.

        The effect is the same as willfully pernicious.


      • They came too late. The older posts are a striking blow to any kind of female agenda. But now they’re compromising the future of this blog. Many fine commenters have already bailed out.


      • These stalwart, “fine commenters” bailed out because their precious gossamer thoughts were getting lost in the comment-section spam?

        1) Welcome to The Internet

        2) Quit being so precious

        Unless a Roberts Rules of Order regime is put in place, the more comments the merrier. Especially with reply-trees which help isolate the quality posts for the attention they deserve. And, like most people, I take extra time to scan the paragraphs under certain names more than others.

        One self-moderating device some comment forums (like YouTube) deploy is the thumbs-up/thumbs-down function, which hides especially unpopular posts under an additional click. There are a lot of tricks before micromanaging speech becomes necessary. But the webmaster may be limited with what he can do. Zapping individual comments is a fool’s game and hardly worth the time such a project entails.

        The best solution would be a moderated, general forum off to the side with as many self-policing gizmos as WordPress allows.

        Until then, Keep Calm and Carry On. Or tell these hypersensitive “fine commenters” to tuck their delicate thoughts into that Safety Zone of their hearts where no bad man can touch them.


      • It has happened before here that the blog authr has said, specifically, that some commentors are wasting space and driving out the useful commentors.

        He has kicked people out before for doing what is now again happening.

        If you personally don’t agree with that policy – fine. Don’t try to censor those who wish for censorship. It actually really truly does happen that some of the worse commentors drive out some of the better ones.


      • Also, the thumbs up/down software was once installed here, but later removed as it dramatically slowed page load times.

        I kinda liked it. I suppose mostly for the ego boost my high numbers got.


      • xsplat wrote: It has happened before here that the blog authr has said, specifically, that some commentors are wasting space and driving out the useful commentors.

        I’m not sure how this happens. How do the bad commenters drive out the good? Is space somehow limited?

        Either way, it’s a management failure. The audience is the audience, and one of the contributing factors to this site’s popularity is the freewheeling discussion. It isn’t difficult for me to filter out the extraneous commentary filler and skip around to the unhidden gems, of which this site gets more than its fair share. Ctrl+F is useful. It’s far worse dealing with capricious moderators who spike comments inconsistently or invite criticism only through reputation — that creates a band of inert echoes and suck-ups in the comboxes, the Andrew Sullivan phenomenon.

        You can’t micromanage good and bad commentary without devoting serious resources to the site. It’s better to set up a self-policing structure of incentives. Internet commentary has been around long enough as a medium that they’re starting to figure out how to manage it.

        There’s a good deal of self-policing going on anyway. How many Super Trolls persist when attention to them inevitably becomes anemic? Commenters here aren’t shy about putting trolls in their place, and they do it with more wit than anyone has a right to expect online these days. It’s a minor art form.


      • P.S. Can’t anonymous commenters just change their username in reaction to a ban? And the more persistent ones can pretty easily spoof their IP address these days.

        Command-economists push on a string — a string already being pulled in unpredictable ways by the market. They try to quantify their management of chaos. They’re always fighting with the tools of the last war, stop-gap maneuvers upon stop-gap maneuvers. Conservatives (classical liberals, libertarians) manage within given market flows.

        In other words, a pile of rules and regs only gets you so far before the invisible hand starts jabbing rudely at your asshole. Unintended consequences rule the day. Ban one combox jagoff, five more fill his place. If you haven’t noticed, the internet is oversupplied with twats and twits.


      • Excellent posts here, KA. The blog *thrives* with more comment, not less.


      • Not all the fine commenter bailed out. King A (as long as he doesn’t talk about religion too frequently) is still around, with his usual exhilarating eloquent spot-on comments. Therefore, I’m hereby dropping my precious attitude.


      • This is a real man here – let’s keep it in perspective – Heartste is offering valubale information and a forum for males to express some very unpopular ideas. To complain about him, his blog and how he runs it is such a slap in the face and reeks of entitlement and ungratefullness. If people choose to leave b/c they are fed up with commenters or his blog posts, then so be it. Its not like they were paying for all the valuable info they took from his blog.


    • Xsplat,

      I am very sorry for your loss. I haven’t been here long enough to know when it happened but I am sorry. I might be able to explain the womens reaction that you experieneced. (I’m on my phone and it’s hard to post, so pls bear with me). These women were jealous. You are alpha here and they know it. You also fell in love and not with them. They desperately want what you freely gave and can’t find it for themselves. They see this as directly hurting them and they felt the need to hurt you in return.


      • I can believe that jealousy played a part in it, but in my theory of the female mind, it’s jealousy with a feminist twist.

        Western women hate asians and hate men who date asians. Its jealousy, but it’s also anger at women working hard at being feminine. They don’t want that attitude to infect most women, because they don’t want to have to compete in that way.

        Western women are appalled at how my girl would take off my shoes as we got home, bring me my food and drinks on demand, how devoted she was, how she wanted to tatoo “Daddy’s little bitch” on her lower back.

        The fact she was Asian and younger was bad. That’s competition that will enrage a woman. That she was hyper submissive made them apoplectic. That I regularly and with persuasive eloquence detailed the dynamics of submission made me an enemy.

        So when a personal human tragedy happened, they could not react with comfort. I was already the enemy. It became a gleeful opportunity to kick me – because now I was down. Now as a group they could kick me when I was down.

        Women are absolutely vicious about sexual competition, true. That was the jealousy involved. But they key here is the type of sexual competition. Younger. (grrrrrr). More submissive (GRRRRRRRR!)


      • I can completely agree with that. I am a submissive wife and will freely admit how much I like it. Not quite as submissive as your girl, but quite close. Women typically don’t like me or understand me. For me they feel pity, the ones who don’t know my husband blame him as they can’t possibly see how it would be my choice. It’s sad but, can be quite hysterical as well.

        Why they would feel the need to rub your nose in your pain is beyond me. Women today appall me. I haven’t wanted anything to do with them since I was a child. They can be psychotic.


      • xsplat,

        You should see the looks I get from non Asian women. Sometimes even from my own culture. My guy( sweetie pie) even noticed without me pointing it out. It’s sad. They don’t even know me. I would try to be extra nice to these women just so that they will see “ME” and not only what’s on the outside. Sometimes it helps and sometimes I fail. It’s ok. I don’t have a sister so having and maintaining friendships with women is very important to me. That’s my reality! : )


  55. Delete or not to delete? To cheat or not to cheat? That is the question. One second can change your whole life, not only with others but more importantly with YOURSELF.


  56. My comment is still in mod.
    I can’t see what’s wrong with what I have written. There is no hee! hee! he! he! la! la! haha! lol!! You just don’t like it when I am serious and insightful!


  57. This story was confusing. Who was who? How did the in love guy get the girl’s number?

    So confusing


  58. Hope you aren’t the guy in the t-shirt. Resigned, unconfident, beta attitude.


  59. Poesy isn’t the best choice for game posts. But it’s good to see the stylistic experimentation. If you can’t smooth out the rough edges in your writing on a blog, where can you?

    Your use of the literary device is too clunky, too obvious. We should come away with a mysterious new understanding of what you’re trying to convey rather than a conscious admiration for craft. “I see what he’s trying to do here” = communication failure. The seams are showing. It’s like pick-up lines that inspire a girl to think, “He’s using a line on me.”

    “[X], Interrupted” has been a cliché for headline writers probably since the publishing of the Kaysen novel, and definitely since the popular Angelina Jolie movie.

    Also. Cut five of the six references to “pubes.” Yick.


  60. Novelistic interludes are faggy. They are made-up figments designed to command our attention, but all they do is make us wonder what unknown pathologies the writer is struggling with.

    Then again, maybe it’s the subject matter that is alienating. Most “dilemmas” aren’t worthy of the word. They more often are expressions of moral confusion that should have been sorted out in one’s undergraduate years or in church.

    Our dads told us, “Son, life is about making choices.” (If you had a dad, that is.) You grow up and you become okay with the tough calls. The Have-Cake-and-Eat-It syndrome is for women and children, who need to be commanded out of the trap of their contradictions. The thrill of the chase — “life is a journey, not a destination!” — derives from the stunted thoughts of young men without the experience to develop a fully formed, mature imagination about the purposes and pleasures and, yes, ends in life. Endorphin/adrenaline junkies are junkies all the same.

    It’s sad to see considerable talent used to describe the contours of a mystery that is only mysterious through false intellectual rigor. We know there exists a je ne sais quois. We know we are more than the sum of our molecules. We just aren’t sure about its exact qualitative parameters. You are at (or likely past) the age to factor the permanent unknowables into your decision making.

    Entirely too much of your identity derives from the pussy hunt. It cannot be a well-adjusted life. There is so much more than helium rushes and impulsiveness that must be rationalized into “freedom.” You intuit this but still stubbornly insist on holding fast to the trinkets that meant so much to you in a past life.

    You don’t need any more science. You need literature now. You need to realize how many have trod the path before you, lived to tell about it, and were desperate to report the findings of futility to the young know-it-alls in every era who think they invented fucking. “Youth is wasted on the young.”

    Sexual intercourse began
    In nineteen sixty-three
    (which was rather late for me) —
    Between the end of the
    Chatterley ban
    And the Beatles’ first LP.

    Up to then there’d only been
    A sort of bargaining,
    A wrangle for the ring,
    A shame that started at sixteen
    And spread to everything.

    Then all at once the quarrel sank:
    Everyone felt the same,
    And every life became
    A brilliant breaking of the bank,
    A quite unlosable game.

    So life was never better than
    In nineteen sixty-three
    (Though just too late for me) —
    Between the end of the
    Chatterley ban
    And the Beatles’ first LP.

    — Philip Larkin, “Annus Mirabilis”


    • KA,

      You’ve misread the poem. Larkin was a dreadnought cunthound his whole life; at one point he was juggling three women in a rather polite Hull harem.

      The reason this is a good poem is that Larkin is honest enough to admit his jealousy, rage and regret. He would dearly have loved the free and easy access to ass that he saw all around him. But he was out of the game. The young pussy game, that is.

      Larkin was no moralizer. The poem to read is “Sad Steps.”


  61. Guest writer Strauss? Nice change of pace. 🙂


  62. Since I’ve already come out from behind the lurk curtain, I may as well put this out there – I’d like some advice please.

    I’m a 24 year old female with no sexual experience beyond a couple of make-out sessions. Not from lack of opportunity; the offers are plenty, but ugly duckling syndrome in combination with a strongly religious background have done a good job of diminishing their appeal. In what seems to be contrary to some commenters’ beliefs about women, I have zero desire to “ride the carousel” until I’m 30 and then wrangle some poor beta into marriage.

    What I want is to meet a great guy, fall in love, and have a family. Problem is, unless I were religious (I’m not any longer), it seems like the vast majority of men these days who are of similar areligious inclinations expect sex soon into the dating process before taking the relationship further. I would really like to save sex for serious commitment.

    What are my chances of finding a guy who’d be ok with this arrangement before I’m “over the hill” attraction-wise? What can I do to find him? Will my inexperience be a hindrance to achieving my goal?


    • Before reading the comments section of this blog, I used to think that the overwhelming majority of men thought like me, and would not bother spending much time with a girl who didn’t put out.

      I’ve since discovered that a sizable minority of men put a huge emphasis on virginity and purity.

      It turns out that girls take for sexual strategies, not two. The obvious two are slutting it up, or playing housewife. The other two are playing housewife but slutting on the side, and playing slut but secretly looking to oops a baby and entrap an alpha.

      In other words, girls either fake their innate predilictions, or they seek out a mate with similar predilictions.

      You will need a conservative minded beta male. There are plenty of them. Your task is to find one you are attracted enough to, and settle.


    • Any guy going for an arrangement like that is a complete idiot and not marriage material


    • @M

      There are plenty who will take less than intercourse for quite awhile. It’s not an all or nothing world.


    • M,
      Just date around, and stick to making out. If a guy feels the connection, he’ll stick around. It’s pretty simple. He just needs to know he’s not in the friend zone. Where do you draw the line when hooking up? Just kissing?


    • Hey, I’d choose a virgin over a slut anytime. I could even sacrifice a point or two on the attractiveness scale, and forsake the teachings of this blog about marriage. Couldn’t find the post where heartiste talked about the issue. Marrying a virgin carries a 20% risk of divorce. More than 1 partner and it goes up to 50%, more than 5 and it’s 80%.
      Virginity is a precious asset, but it’s difficult to use it. Dating around is the way to go, but you have to use the knowledge on this blog to screen out the undesirable mates (alpha assholes, PUAs and PUA wannabees…). They’re attractive, they live the male dream but they’re not marriage material.
      Once you find a decent greater beta/lesser alpha, there’s no shame in becoming intimate. But once he achieves that, his task is already complete. Men are pigs, we’re just after sex. And there begins your task: trying to keep him around. Your best bet is to be as feminine as you can, cheerful, supportive… There are many posts on this blog about what men are looking for in LTRs:


      • Yes, that seems to be the reason most cited for choosing to bond with a low socio-sexual score female. That the man is also low socio-sexual score.

        Which simply means that those who prefer to mate for life prefer to mate with those who prefer to mate for life.

        What is surprisingly difficult in these discussions is realizing that we have different socio-sexual attitudes. It has taken me a long time to come to grips with the low socio-sexual score attitude, and I admit I’m not totally over my prejudice against it. And I know many family men seem to be equally haughty and arrogant against my style.

        What the wikipedia entry says on the subject is that there is a minority of men who prefer lifetime monogamy even more so than does the average woman.

        So these types of men lately really have a tough time finding a low enough socio-sexual score girl.

        Considering that is the case, a low sociosexual score girl would have a potentially large dating pool, if she was also attracted to that type.


    • But there’s always a risk. You can offer your best years to a man, and he can callously dump you for whatever reason. Same goes for women. No one said life is fair.


      • Yes, it is at least as tricky to suss out that the man is selling what he is advertising, when it comes to socio-sexual score.

        People lie about this. And women do tend to be more sexually attracted to the cads, rather than the dads. Which puts them at greater risk for being tricked by false advertising.

        Believe me – nearly every girl who wants to marry me CAN NOT hear that it will not happen.


    • You got a mouth and ass? Find a nice guy and practice bj’s and let him stick it in your poopr.


    • What are my chances of finding a guy who’d be ok with this arrangement before I’m “over the hill” attraction-wise?


      What can I do to find him?

      Go back to church. Not that he will be waiting for you in the pews, but there you will reacquire the right disposition to help you discern true kismet (or Providence) from the many, many frauds. Deviously clever frauds, thanks to clearinghouses like this site.

      Chastity is more than simple abstinence. It gives a woman the calmness and clarity of mind to make the most important decision in her life. In another time, this decision was wisely made on her behalf — or at least heavily influenced — by parties detached from the typical pressures that cause women to make bad choices. Sexual chaos and desperation accompanies soon-to-be-spinsters, and these pressures militate against the cool-headedness required to find and attract the man who can travel with her on a difficult path, a path made especially difficult in an era that has abandoned or outright mocks any cultural support for chastity.

      Will my inexperience be a hindrance to achieving my goal?

      No. Your inexperience is an advantage.

      This generation believes we have a constitutional right to pursue our desires unto their comprehensive satisfaction. This is the lie of the sexual revolution, and a main lie of this website. We are conditioned to reject any contradiction of this lie. We seek support for its cultural dominance in “nature” and “scientific study,” and we come up with excuse-theories like “hypergamy” and the tyranny of testosterone. If this is the place “where pretty lies perish,” then where do we go to see the big ugly ones die?

      Learn to discipline your desires (by rejecting the culture). Otherwise, seeking practical advice is pointless. This site tells men and women to indulge their desires until they run out of them, as if they have not lived long enough to understand that desires never run out but rather multiply. It is not prim moralism to point out the futility of trying to fill a leaky bucket; it is rock-solid wisdom from at least the time of Plato. “Chastity” is simply institutionalizing this concept for the sake of supporting individuals in their attempt to master a difficult discipline. When rabbits are left to their desires alone, they fuck (like rabbits) and eat themselves to death. Instinct kills. Human beings are given some small means of escape from this domination by inclination.

      I feel for you because you are caught in the wake of another generation’s excesses. Pimps up, hos down for the foreseeable future. Women have been disarmed. Men are armed to the teeth. Your difficult mission — the mission of your life — is to persuade your executioner(s) to spare you. We have every reason not to. Pity or abject submission is your best chance at persuasion. Otherwise: learn to love the cock carousel while you can and the inevitable beta/omega settlement when you must.

      There is another way. But you can’t fathom its practicality much less its possibility so long as you remain unaware of the lie and stay stubbornly resistant to its antidote. Your unusually chaste practices so far have served you, and that is a reason for hope. But now you have to ground those practices in a justification larger than yourself … or find some charitable but capable man to volunteer his life to do it for you. Lots of luck! Because, hard as your first few years have been, the real challenges will start appearing when the window starts closing. And if you haven’t gained a habit of discipline to counter your instincts by then, you won’t have a chance.


      • M,

        I agree with King A,

        “the real challenges will start appearing when the window starts closing. And if you haven’t gained a habit of discipline to counter your instincts by then, you won’t have a chance.”

        Exactly. Don’t wait for too long.

        King A, what kind of challenges exactly do you mean? I managed to drop all my bad habits (except a heavy addiction to this blog) and improved my concentration, but my problem now is that every guy I meet I start to think that he’s actually very sweet and whether he’d be okay for a husband …
        I’m happy you agree that this is the most important decision in life. Could you please write what in your opinion are the challenges of looking for a husband at the time I am? I improved a lot in my head (now I have almost zero problems interacting with the opposite sex), but I still don’t know where my SMV is and therefore what can I expect to get … There’s nothing obviously wrong with me (except that I’m getting old) – I take care of my appearance, exercise, I don’t have much UV damage. I’m nice and kind (in real life, not on this blog, where I get hysterical from time to time :S). I think I’m more sociable now (in the small amount of time when I don’t work or waste (?) time here), but since every guy I meet is quite nice to me I can’t say who’s really interested and who’s just being nice. (Guys in general are a bit shy and childish here (especially those under 30), also we don’t have the custom of inviting people to dates – I know you have it in US). You suggested to M that she should go to church, but we’re not really a religious country so I know just a few christian guys and they are all a bit weird. I’ll try church anyway, because now I agree very much with their ideas (like no sex before marriage, no or little contraception).
        What should I do with my attraction to assholes? Ignore it? How? It’s my dream to listen to my heart and have sex with an alpha asshole.


      • Maya, your confusion on this issue demonstrates your wonderfully feminine inability to make a good decision. I suggested from the beginning that you need to find a father figure who can guide you through the minefield.

        “Follow your heart” on this and you will be overloaded and consumed: there are no cultural circuit-breakers to keep your house from burning down anymore.

        I recommend church to people not for what they can selfishly take out of it, but for what they can contribute to the “communio.” And by giving, they receive back “seventy times seven.” It makes you a better person, it puts you in a network with people who (at least nominally) are committed to your well-being. I don’t doubt the church is quite weak in your country, but all the more opportunity for you to give toward its rebuilding, and thus receive. The problem of your life is you think, more than you realize, that you are the center of the universe. At bare minimum, church regularly reminds you that you’re not.

        You have come to the men’s lavatory and cannot find the spa treatment you so desperately seek. Just a lot of vulgarity and the stench of dried piss. The help you are seeking cannot be found here. Every piece of advice on this site is designed to exploit you, not help you. It is in their interest, if only for their own self-reinforcement, to convince you “to listen to [your] heart and have sex with an alpha asshole.” What happens to the used cumrags after they’ve blown their nut-snot is simply no part of their consciousness.

        Now, the fact that on some level you want to be used that way is Evidence Marked “A” that you are in no position to make good decisions for yourself. (If you still think that you don’t want to be used that way, then you are even more dangerously unaware than it appears.) The feminist legacy pretends that you are equipped to make such decisions as some bold, fearless Captainess of the S.S. Maya. You have to repudiate that lie quickly and thoroughly, and seek shelter. I can’t help you with any specifics because I don’t know your specifics. But you can be certain the generalities on this website have nothing good in store for you.

        Once you get a sorely-needed base of support from others — father figures, fellow parishioners, whatever — then the real challenge begins. Because you will have to teach them the dark wisdom you have gleaned from this site. They are just as infected with pretty lies as the rest of the culture; the difference being, they are institutionally best equipped to salvage some truth from the wreckage. Just like you, many among them hunger for and will respond to the truth, especially from a young woman speaking it. From there you will have to use your well-honed feminine wiles to recover what vestigial manliness still remains in the type of open-minded betas you will find praising God in a feminized milieu.

        Sound complicated? It is. With many fatal temptations along the way. But it is your best shot, and you are still wasting time here trying to square a circle that will never be. I’d be happy to help you at any step of the way. Stop thinking, pondering, worrying, and moping, and just go do it.


      • King A,

        thanks for the reply.

        “I suggested from the beginning that you need to find a father figure who can guide you through the minefield.”

        Not so easy to find. Where should I look for? How can I know who’s right for this role?

        “You have come to the men’s lavatory and cannot find the spa treatment you so desperately seek.”

        What a hilarious quote. But it’s true.

        “Sound complicated? It is. With many fatal temptations along the way.”

        Fatal temptations? Well, I’ll give in very soon. It’s scary because I have this old-fashioned belief that I only have one chance. I will only have one man in my life (or none).

        “But it is your best shot, and you are still wasting time here trying to square a circle that will never be. I’d be happy to help you at any step of the way. Stop thinking, pondering, worrying, and moping, and just go do it.”

        Yes, it is my best shot and yes, I’m wasting too much time here. That’s what I needed to hear. Thank you.


      • Not so easy to find. Where should I look for? How can I know who’s right for this role?

        Not at PUA forums.

        There are plenty of strong men who are selfish and weak men who are giving. There are fewer who can combine the two. Some measure of “finding” a person “right for this role” includes inspiring that person to be the man he should be. It includes presenting whichever side of the truth they are not accustomed to hearing: in PUA forums like these, you have to represent the truth that giving to others does not make you a chump. In beta circles, you have to represent the truth that men have to be stronger than women and their male weakness is just as unacceptable as selfishness.

        We are all interconnected now through the ether. That is an unprecedented opportunity, and a reason for hope. It is true that you don’t have many chances left, but there is no point in dwelling on that fact. It only makes you conclude in despair, to say inaccurate things like, “Well, I’ll give in very soon” — and thereby waste what little time you have left.


      • In my experience, the people going to church are about the last ones I would consider to marry. Invariably, they have a whole lot of baggage (some implanted by the church but largely from other sources).

        This starts to make a lot of sense when you think about it: religion is for people who cannot bear the thought that life is ultimately pointless (and yes, it ends at death) and thus need fairy tale based escapism that tells them how to lead their life – sounds pretty omega to me. And far from the type of person I would want to spend my life with.

        And since you already now dream about sleeping with an alpha, marrying such an omega does not sound like a viable option, to say the least.

        Personally, I have more than once bailed from girls that turned out to be religious. Sometimes, kind of late – usually that involved a lot of booze -, like a few months ago, when we are already naked in bed and I remembered that she goes to church every Sunday. Give me a feminist over a religious girl, any day.

        As for King A, do you really expect us to be dumb enough not to see through “Every piece of advice on this site is designed to exploit you, not help you. It is in their interest, if only for their own self-reinforcement, to convince you “to listen to [your] heart and have sex with an alpha asshole.” What happens to the used cumrags after they’ve blown their nut-snot is simply no part of their consciousness.” as being your own way of moving women to your wretched view of the world? Seriously.


      • somebody wrote: religion is for people who cannot bear the thought that life is ultimately pointless (and yes, it ends at death) and thus need fairy tale based escapism that tells them how to lead their life – sounds pretty omega to me. And far from the type of person I would want to spend my life with.

        You have an idiot’s understanding of religion. I am very familiar with your type because the world isn’t exactly short on idiocy — the culture is lousy with loud-mouthed proclamations from people who repeat ideas they might have heard or indirectly absorbed without ever taking any serious study of the subject.

        Practical men, who believe themselves to be quite exempt from any intellectual influence, are usually the slaves of some defunct economist. Madmen … who hear voices in the air, are distilling their frenzy from some academic scribbler of a few years back. — John Maynard Keynes

        “Give me a feminist over a religious girl, any day.” Yeah, exactly what I’m trying to say about your type. When push comes to shove, you align with the ideology you most resemble. For all the bluster you are more simpatico with the self-refuting fairy tale that “a woman is a man” than the self-evident fact that you are not a sui generis god for whom the entire universe was created.

        So you fucked a hypocrite. That proves religion is false? Yours is an elementary school-level argument. Not to mention the fact that we’ve already got your clever little observation covered … for some forty centuries before the world was graced with the birth of Somebody: first thing we acknowledge is the fact of our own intractable hypocrisies, and seek to correct for them.


      • Thanks for the feedback guys.

        King A, your advice is especially reassuring as you’ve affirmed much of my motivation for the decision I’ve made. However, I’m curious about what you mean by “another way” and what kind of “justification” you’re referring to. God? The betterment of a culture? Because so far, my justification has been a desire to be free from regret, honour my family, reward my suitor’s patience, and seek truth.

        Maya: “What should I do with my attraction to assholes? Ignore it? How? It’s my dream to listen to my heart and have sex with an alpha asshole.”

        I can only suggest cognizance + will power.

        Growing up I never had a problem with this (the alphas in my environment were not bright enough nor particularly attentive to my former shell) and didn’t think I ever would, but I had a strange experience last year. During a club-based uni event, a fellow student expressed sexual interest during our initial interaction and although I found him attractive, I rejected it on the basis of a clear difference in priorities.

        For the rest of the year, he did the whole aloof thing, never initiated communication, and I was convinced that I was right to pin him as a player. I found myself spending more time thinking about him, frustrated at the uncertainty, trying to interpret glances and body language and all that stereotypically female over-analysis. Fast forward to the end of the year when we are back in a club for another uni event. In a very drunken state he admits that he is shy, inexperienced, and attracted. Unfortunately he also couldn’t hold down his alcohol so that interaction soon ended then and there. However…

        Did this admission and the subsequent episode make me lose interest in him? Oddly enough, it didn’t. I was still thinking about him and wishing he would speak to me. It took me a while to accept that after his embarrassment, there was little chance of anything happening. I think it wasn’t so much that I desired the “asshole” component as it was the fact that my initially false perception of him as an “asshole” helped draw attention to him when I otherwise wouldn’t have paid him any notice.

        For me, “asshole” = “who do you think you are that you can get away with such behaviour?” There’s an obvious power element to it, and more importantly, an implied freedom. But a man needn’t play the asshole to imply this freedom – it can also be displayed through status and (my personal favourite) self-control that is rooted in a deeper awareness/understanding. I suppose a guy’s gotta work with what he has.


      • M wrote: I’m curious about what you mean by “another way” and what kind of “justification” you’re referring to. God? The betterment of a culture? Because so far, my justification has been a desire to be free from regret, honour my family, reward my suitor’s patience, and seek truth.

        I’m referring to “a justification larger than yourself … or find some charitable but capable man to volunteer his life.” The best justification “larger than yourself” is the largest of all motives, God, but I won’t pretend that is accessible to you after ten-plus years of propaganda to the contrary. Anything bigger than yourself will do — for the sake of your family, your community, your principles — something that can plausibly rival the demon of unlimited female desire.

        I write a woman’s oaths in water. — Sophocles

        Tattoo that backwards on your breastbone so you see it every day and remember how ill-equipped you are to make good decisions of the heart. You cannot control your desires with Grrl Power! alone. Indeed, the crumbling institutions of civilization had risen around this fact of nature, this weakness in women, and in their absence we now require young girls to make life-altering decisions they are not capable of making.

        Unlimited male desire can be channeled into war or sport or diversion or escapism. Even if it is loosed, the results are not catastrophic. Unlimited female desire, on the other hand, has no natural channel and results in the cock carousel when loosed, a circumstance that quickly brings about social dissolution, no matter how many SlutWalks are ironically undertaken. See Rousseau below.

        Here is the good news. We are still hard-wired to respond to your submission — to be worthy of guarding the trust you have put in us. If you signal this quality, men will respond, even at this late hour of feminist anomie. Particularly young men who have not yet been fully indoctrinated into their expected beta role. The catch, however, is for you to inspire him to seek other sources (like this site) that can teach him what you cannot — and you inspire him by being worthy of his investment in you.

        “Be a man, and I will submit completely to you” still works. But there can’t be feminist codicils or take-backs or exceptions to that “completely.” Death do us part means death. Don’t underestimate the vast forces arrayed to destroy that formula, including forces resident inside you.

        [S]o far, my justification has been a desire to be free from regret, honour my family, reward my suitor’s patience, and seek truth.

        An excellent start, as far as it goes. But be suspicious of yourself and seek supports that will restrain you in your weaker moments, moments that can destroy you. In the old stories, it was taken as axiomatic that a woman has a single chance at love, and for a girl to be taken cheaply was tantamount to murder.

        We chuckle at their supposed naivete but the truth still resonates. Society prizes a woman’s certain virtue above all things. In the giddy destruction of the old arrangement, we are forced pursue second-best, as many fleeting pleasures possible in our little time left on this rock (the pursuit championed by this website), and women have obliged, despite the toll it has taken on their own highest longings. In the absence of cultural supports, we make do best we can with risky and tenuous arrangements. There are no good options for either of us. Our aim has to be to reconstruct a better place for our daughters.

        If you’re not prepared to sacrifice your life for a goal only achievable well past your sexual relevance, then you are not worthy of any happiness, and they are still accepting tickets for the soul-scarifying carousel. “Whoever seeks to gain his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will preserve it.”


      • I love how Austen and Bronte
        wrote so literately
        about h-h-h0tties in luv

        such Truth
        to be found there


      • Firepower: Watch the whole scene, chucklehead. Better yet, read the book. Joe Wright’s adaptation is still the best of them, but there are some cringing anachronisms — like the stuttering beta confession in the beginning of that scene.

        Later on in the scene and the film Darcy demonstrates how to be forceful against raging harpies and obsequious betas within the conventions of highly structured Victorian politesse. There is a very powerful body language undercurrent to the scene as well, as if good actors and actresses cannot help demonstrate the truth of male-female relations (dominance and submission) no matter what the script calls for.

        The content of the scene was the point, however, as I was speaking to M. Austen captures the female idea of one-and-done better than any writer (“…has ruined — perhaps forever [!!] — the happiness of a beloved sister”). She opens a window on the way women think, which is so foreign to us that it requires scrutiny and regular study.

        So yeah. There is “such truth to be found there.”


      • King A, apologies for the delayed reply as I’d missed your response, but I just want to express my sincere thanks. Your encouragement has been particularly inspirational because I’ve found it in a place where I least expected it.

        I come here because I want to understand men, and to know what to look out for (and in many cases avoid) so that I can make sound decisions. A lot of the principles I’ve read here resonate with the religious teachings of my youth, albeit the latter were more simplified and often enforced on the basis of ‘blind faith’. It’s been strange and enlightening to read about them again through a different, darker lens.

        I may not be as devout an adherent to the dogma as I once was, but there are a few things I’d like to keep sacred in this ever-changing world. The sex act is one of them. That probably sounds terribly naive to people for whom sex has become a commodity as easily acquired as food and water, and I’m ok with that. It’s not them that I’m out to please.


      • Cf. Rousseau’s Emile, Book V, “Sophie, or Woman”
        [excerpt, bold added]

        But for her sex, a woman is a man; she has the same organs, the same needs, the same faculties. The machine is the same in its construction; its parts, its working, and its appearance are similar. Regard it as you will the difference is only in degree.

        Yet where sex is concerned man and woman are unlike; each is the complement of the other; the difficulty in comparing them lies in our inability to decide, in either case, what is a matter of sex, and what is not. General differences present themselves to the comparative anatomist and even to the superficial observer; they seem not to be a matter of sex; yet they are really sex differences, though the connection eludes our observation. How far such differences may extend we cannot tell; all we know for certain is that where man and woman are alike we have to do with the characteristics of the species; where they are unlike, we have to do with the characteristics of sex. Considered from these two standpoints, we find so many instances of likeness and unlikeness that it is perhaps one of the greatest of marvels how nature has contrived to make two beings so like and yet so different.

        These resemblances and differences must have an influence on the moral nature; this inference is obvious, and it is confirmed by experience; it shows the vanity of the disputes as to the superiority or the equality of the sexes; as if each sex, pursuing the path marked out for it by nature, were not more perfect in that very divergence than if it more closely resembled the other. A perfect man and a perfect woman should no more be alike in mind than in face, and perfection admits of neither less nor more.

        In the union of the sexes each alike contributes to the common end, but in different ways. From this diversity springs the first difference which may be observed between man and woman in their moral relations. The man should be strong and active; the woman should be weak and passive; the one must have both the power and the will; it is enough that the other should offer little resistance.

        When this principle is admitted, it follows that woman is specially made for man’s delight. If man in his turn ought to be pleasing in her eyes, the necessity is less urgent, his virtue is in his strength, he pleases because he is strong. I grant you this is not the law of love, but it is the law of nature, which is older than love itself.

        If woman is made to please and to be in subjection to man, she ought to make herself pleasing in his eyes and not provoke him to anger; her strength is in her charms, by their means she should compel him to discover and use his strength. The surest way of arousing this strength is to make it necessary by resistance. [HELLO, sluts.] Thus pride comes to the help of desire and each exults in the other’s victory. This is the origin of attack and defense, of the boldness of one sex and the timidity of the other, and even of the shame and modesty with which nature has armed the weak for the conquest of the strong.

        Who can possibly suppose that nature has prescribed the same advances to the one sex as to the other, or that the first to feel desire should be the first to show it? What strange depravity of judgment! The consequences of the act being so different for the two sexes, is it natural that they should enter upon it with equal boldness? How can any one fail to see that when the share of each is so unequal, if the one were not controlled by modesty as the other is controlled by nature, the result would be the destruction of both, and the human race would perish through the very means ordained for its continuance?

        Women so easily stir a man’s senses and fan the ashes of a dying passion, that if philosophy ever succeeded in introducing this custom into any unlucky country, especially if it were a warm country where more women are born than men, the men, tyrannized over by the women, would at last become their victims, and would be dragged to their death without the least chance of escape.

        Female animals are without this sense of shame, but what of that? Are their desires as boundless as those of women, which are curbed by this shame? The desires of the animals are the result of necessity, and when the need is satisfied, the desire ceases; they no longer make a feint of repulsing the male, they do it in earnest. Their seasons of complaisance are short and soon over. Impulse and restraint are alike the work of nature. But what would take the place of this negative instinct in women if you rob them of their modesty?


      • A grand idea enunciated with a breadth of vocabulary, and a depth of philosophy, to proclaim a tenet that moves one’s timpanic membranes in harmony to a grand march echoing from a emasculated mind towards the coruscating fields of Elyseum.

        KingA, game was never meant for Eve. Every Adam knows how to handle Eve.

        It is Lilith we have to contend with nowadays.

        And you should know that women worship harmony, and men worship order. And in man’s pursuit for order, harmony is ignored. Look at all the bloodied centuries lying behind us.

        And now we’re entering a feminine age that slavishly pursues harmony at the expense of order. Look at all the battered people that lies before us.

        It’s not about a principle. It’s about a pendulum.

        And its arc have severed the masculine … leaving only … this game of men.


      • King, after completing a comment, why not try a little one sentence or very small paragraph summary of your ideas at the end? I believe this is a common writing style, and it would help those readers who find your style too ponderous to approach with the attention you’d like your ideas to receive.

        I think you think your ideas have a lot of weight and deserve a lot of words. They would have more weight with less words.


      • Preferably on his own blog.


      • on August 29, 2011 at 6:36 pm (r)Evoluzione

        King A, I agree with the Xplat & Tinderbox. Your ideas are fantastic, well-formed, and entirely appropriate to the audience, but a little on the long side.

        Get a blog already, dude, and link back here in the comments as is the common style. You will get more readers & form more community, and have greater reach that way. And keep commenting here.


      • I appreciate the criticism. I was responding to two specific people in a week later and didn’t think others would be around to notice. Side-discussions not intended for a general audience go on at length because they are narrowly focused, and I have no other channel of communication with these commenters.

        Blogs are relentless work. They’re like … a marriage. I would participate in a non-committed gang blog if there were any focused on this issue. If there are any openings, let me know. The “community” could use a one-stop-shopping clearinghouse (like, say, Kissing Suzy Kolber does for NFL satire) rather than a loosely confederated cross-posting network. I don’t regularly check anywhere else because everywhere else is inconsistently updated, hit-or-miss crap.

        Otherwise, who has the time or interest to update every day? You see how even the most well-intentioned bloggers who start out with a head of steam eventually peter out (in all but the most rare cases which border on neurotic compulsiveness).


      • King A have you considered contributing to The Spearhead, or is that too MRA-oriented?


  63. Interesting. Heartiste shows us the choices we make. Just like the post on LTRs and love. It’s not the being of alpha or beta or even omega that is key in this story, but the underlying choice.

    What do you want? If you feel you should be with the one girl, then do so. If you feel you want the freedom and the thrill. Then do so. These are options, choices. Just make damn sure that you choose knowing both instead of pedestalizing one of them.


  64. So if guilt isn’t an issue, then banging a new girl while you’re dating another should give you the same empty victory that cheating on your wife does. I’m not buying that the chase is going to make a difference to a man in a committed relationship.

    VARIETY. That’s what you give up for monogamy.


  65. Sorry but i have to say this.

    I find it very ungrateful for people to constantly complain on his blog about how he runs it and what/who he allows to post and what he blogs about when the advice and stuff he is providing for *FREE* is valuable to many men who have been in the dark. Its not like you are paying for heartiste’s services – its FREE!

    I am not sure what people expect when they are getting free and valuable information from someone? I mean he can’t run behind people moderating, make great posts that are helping people, and do all the things in his day to day life. He gets 20 million page views and a boatload of comments he has to try to manage. Just be grateful this blog exists and for the information provided – FOR FREE is my thoughts.

    I just think its tacky and childish to complain about something YOU CAN CONTROL (scrolling past people you hate). If Heartiste were to shut the blog down today, a lot of men would feel left in the cold. I think the few female commenters here would suddenly seem insignificant if this blog didn’t exist anymore.

    i think sometimes people forget this and start becoming entitled and ungrateful for the value they receive here for free.

    Bypass the posts and people you hate and grow up and appreciate that one human being is offering his time to provide and pass on information to help a certain segment of males understand how to be much more successful in finding whatever it is they are looking for in the opposite sex and how to do so without losing out, is my opinion on the matter.


    • True. We should be more grateful for this blog. Let’s all decide that from now on we’ll only use decent language, won’t complain too much or use hurtful swearwords, and be polite and helpful to everyone.

      This blog is perfect (except that there’s not enough contests for the readers to have an opportunity to win something) so we should respect it a bit more. I decided I will think twice before posting any hysterical comments or unnecessary pieces of my inner talk. Also, my posts will be short and concise and I will never go off topic again. Hope you guys decide the same.

      I apologize to everyone who was damaged from the huge number of posts I’ve already written.


      • I guess what makes this blog this blog is the ability for people to pretty much say what they want. So that doesn’t need to change. But what needs to change is this attitude that Heartiste needs to be the all perfect host that tries to make everyone happy. its impossible when you have such high traffic and large amounts of commenters – AND when you are providing your services FOR FREE. So just sit back and enjoy the damn blog for the free valuable info, the great writing and stop complaining about small things that one can control is where I am coming from.

        And yeah you were in rare form yesterday Missy. LOL I guess we all have our days. 😉


      • We should be grateful for this blog, but let’s change everything. Typical women.
        This blog is designed for men. Men are supposed to come here and vent and rant about women’s hypergamy, and exchange pickup and relationship management tips. Women here are only gossiping and hoping that heartiste will eventually fall in love and start making babies. You cannot add value to this blog, you simply can’t. That’s why many people want you to at least stfu every now and then.


      • “Women here are only gossiping and hoping that heartiste will eventually fall in love and start making babies.”

        Sure we hope this! We want him posting pics of him and his wife and kids. Now we have to go to if we want to read about cute couples – in the future we’ll have everything we want in one place 🙂


      • There you go…


  66. Off topic but who might know more about the rumor that Bachmann only beat Ron Paul in the Iowa Straw Poll because she enlisted the help of her friend, rabid feminist Debbie Wasserman something or other, to get alot of her Democratic female constituents to vote in the poll?

    If that happened and the “conservative” media isn’t following that lead while they hype her, it looks like feminists are politically stronger than ever and vying for the US Presidency with bipartisan constituent coordination while the media pretends to ignore what’s happening.

    That wouldn’t be funny. I know that Bachman is bad news for men.

    Does anyone have a link to the new Jon Stewart Daily Show video that skewers the so-called “conservative” pundits on TV who are pretending that Ron Paul didn’t place second behind Bachmann by less than 1% of votes (votes allegedly obtained from Democrat females)? Whatever Paul’s views on foreign policy are, the fact remains that he’s the only candidate polling in the current race who has ever stated that he opposes feminist lawmaking (he voted against VAWA in 2005).


    • Dude, it’s the Jews taht don’t want Ron Paul to win. Stay on target brah.


      • I would agree with that actually, except Jon Stewart’s latest video shows that one Jewish guy supports Paul’s right to be recognized for his poll finish.


    • Together with Tancredo, Paul was the only Republican lawmaker to vote against VAWA in 2005. A black Democrat Congresswoman joined them. She said the law wasn’t fair to men. Go figure. Then again, she could afford to say that because she was black and female. Everyone else, especially the white Republicans, have to support all feminist initiatives.


    • Bachmann gave out tickets to a Randy Travis concert. It was statistical tie. Paul was less than 200 votes short. The establishment is scared.


  67. on August 16, 2011 at 12:21 pm Beautiful Truths Ignored

    Close call.

    Roissy might have strayed onto the straight and norrow, if Mephistopheles hadn’t put in a personal appearance to gently guide him back onto the wide and broad.


  68. What’s the appropriate place to ask questions around here? I’m pretty good at kinoing but there’s one thing I can’t figure out about first (few) dates. In any context, is there a type of kino that is appropriate to be done for longer period of time? For example, putting a hand to girl’s hip when walking together, or when sitting, putting a hand around her or to her thigh. Some of those feel a bit like possessive beta behavior.


    • Public displays of affection are not really popular around here. Kino is essential during a pickup, but if your seduction succeeded, you want her to initiate physical contact.
      Public displays of domination (hair pulling, ass slapping…) may be more adequate depending on the location.


      • Please correct me if I’m wrong but when you’re going for a date two weeks after getting her number I think it makes perfect sense to kino your way through to the first kiss the same way you would in the initial pickup.


      • I’m inclined to think that kino is OK until the fuck close, assuming it’s well executed. After the FC, and if it’s not a pump & dump scenario, your best bet is to play the aloof alpha, tease, push-pull… but always control your body language.
        After a while, you need to avoid being like the guy on the front of this picture, and more like the guy in the back:

        [Heartiste: I agree. Kino should be front-loaded. It’s a bit of a dance, but kino and aloofness have to be properly balanced to effectively seduce. Steady and escalating kino before the lay, more aloofness after.]


    • Some of those feel a bit like possessive beta behavior.

      I agree. The preferred signal is if she is leaning in towards you, not the other way around. Putting your arm around her is inferior to her wrapping her arm around your upper forearm as you walk.

      I do a lot of ass patting, and may sometimes rest my hand on the girls lower back, when out in public. Never do I place an arm around her shoulder, never around her waist, and I don’t allow her to take those postures either. Hand holding can be good, but is not my #1 preferred posture, as it doesn’t signal as much submissiveness as does the arm cling.

      Riding up the escalator or in an elevator, you can back your ass into the girl, you can rest your hand on her extremely lower back, you can take an exaggerated masculine posture with legs spread wide while close to her, or just about anything other than wrapping your arm around her waist or shoulders. She clings to you – that’s the frail female stance. You’re posture is to be what can be clinged to, or to gently guide with little bum pats or touches to her lower back or waist.

      One girl I used to play with her pantie-less mini-skirted clit each time we rode up the escalator, but I doubt that dynamic is common enough to suggest.


  69. This blog has completely gone to shit since the domain change (without any notice whatsoever) was the tipping point, the jumping the shark moment. It had been getting bad for a while, the arrival of Neacy I suppose was a sign of things to come. I just never thought this blog would become completely irrelevant.


    • If the blog has gone to shit just copy paste the old articles you like and move on. Been reading off and on for over two years and some times posts are just musings and general observations that barely make two paragraphs. However just like lab rats it seems we all come back and hit our bookmarks for this blog, even when there isn’t the reward we want we’ve been conditioned to expect it and will continue to hit the button.

      The fact you came to complain just establishes that the behavior hasn’t yet become completely extinct.


  70. on August 16, 2011 at 2:07 pm Hippopotimus (AKA Neecy)

    Women (Neecy) ruin everything


  71. xsplat,I’d like to read yopur blog re the death of your Asian GF. What date might that be? And secondly,are you a nigger or whitey??


  72. And so your soul fights itself. Nihilist ponders his future, but fears to become ridiculous as one who sacrifices himself for nothing…

    “Yes, I’ve already passed that period of spiritual life when people seek happiness alone and when the heart feels the need to love someone passionately. Now I only want to be loved, and then only by the very few. As a matter of fact, I believe one constant attachment would be enough for me–a sentimental fashion only to be pitied!”


  73. This post was written by a woman.


  74. Billionaire to create new countries with libertarian governments as islands more than 12 miles offshore:


  75. on August 17, 2011 at 9:23 am Big Don Dick Dangler

    Brilliant post…time to limit some of the commentary by the knob-slobbing hangers-on


  76. Neecy

    However, even still i wouldn’t show my precious jewel on the net – that’s only for Mr. Right and my OBGYN to see 😉

    girls with self-confidence to use their charms are fully endowed to snare their obgyn as Mr. Right. kill 2 birds w/ one stone and whatnot

    you got to get going before you hit 32.


    • hahah!!! Love it FP. Unfortunatley, I have a lady obgyn.

      “you got to get going before you hit 32”

      Oh no deal i am unfortunatley a late bloomer – thus heading towards cat lady life in a few years; *DAMMIT!* LOL

      I’m slowly coming to the realization that I need to get it while the gettin is good!


      • well, be like oprahs chick. you look like you could pull it off. She certainly outdid paltry obgyn dough.

        If your actually pushing 40, yeah, you better git.

        btw, wtf is up with lady pantyhamster inspectors.
        I HAVE beliefs about taht stuff


      • LOL @ Gayle and Oprah comparison! I never really cared about the sex of my OBGYN but i always figured a woman with a vagina would seem to know more about another woman with a vagina in terms of health.

        yeah i was just having this discussion with a friend this weekend about being in mid 30’s. I still look young/attractive enough to get laid by decent looking guys at a decent desirable age but I’m sure that won’t last forever. trying to be celibate at my age for the right person is possibly not smart since I am getting up there. i struggle with this daily FP. i really do. Sometimes I just want to go for it and other times I feel doing that is going against what I believe in. I better figure it out soon! *sigh*


      • Neecy

        I still look young/attractive enough to get laid by decent looking guys at a decent desirable age

        that should make the Future Mr. Neecy feel lucky he got an experienced girl in such high demand. it sounds like the numbers have worked out well for you.

        isnt going to see a gyno, when you dont use it, like taking an SUV to the mechanic when it only gets taken for a ride around the block once a year


      • “isnt going to see a gyno, when you dont use it, like taking an SUV to the mechanic when it only gets taken for a ride around the block once a year”

        I know. My OBGYN doesn’t do all the tests she normally would with sexually active women. But a woman still has to go an dget checked up.

        All I can say is, God help the one man who does finally get it. My uterus will probably clamp down on it and go full on lock jaw on his penis b/c its been so long. LOL I can see my uterus now sleeping soundly and suddenly being awaken by a penis being inserted. “WTF is this pushing me? OMG. OMG. This can’t be..NO WAY.a. Penis? Oh.MY. GAAAWD it’s a PENIS! Holy shit!! Woo Hoo!! YAY!! YEAH BABY.Woot woot! I hope he doesn’t have plans cause he’s gonna be trapped here for a looooong time Momma Neecy.”


  77. Post had a side point about shaking hands with the chicks dude. Is it possible to be a PUA but avoid married/taken chicks? To me its the more pragmatic (although perhaps less exciting) route to go.

    Why would you ever want more then a pump and dump with a chick like this?

    Why is a pump and dump worth possibly being Ron Goldman?

    Why is a pump and dump worth potential physical/economic/social issues depending on whose girl your messing with?

    You may pity betas but they can/do kill if you find the right one..


  78. […] – “Chase, Interrupted“, “Chicks Dig Jerks: More Scientific Evidence“, “Equality Ruins […]


  79. […] – Chase, Interrupted, Chicks Dig Jerks: More Scientific Evidence, Equality Ruins […]


  80. King A sounds more like a white knight


    • Funny, that’s what your sister said after she coughed up my White Pork Sword last night.

      I am trying to do what’s right. Women are in a shit position today, especially aging ones. The ones who have the guts to face the truth on a harsh site like this deserve the best advice we can give them.

      White Knighting means affecting a pose of noble protection for brownie points in a social situation. By your casual definition, doing anything for anyone else is proof of suspect motives and always a sign of weakness. By your definition helping people is simple foolishness. That’s as old a prejudice as there is. Not only are you wrong, you are so wrong that you will lose what you seek most. Selfish people who can’t help but volunteer their puny rationalizations for their selfishness are the most miserable specimens of humanity.