Softening Your Negs

In relationships, the neg has to be toned down. A girl in love with you will easily misconstrue negs and teasing in the worst possible light.

For example:

COCKY YOU: “I like your hair style. There’s beauty in imperfection.”

HOT SINGLE GIRL: [open mouthed stare] “Haha, I can’t believe you said that.”


COCKY YOU: “I like your hair style. There’s beauty in imperfection.”

GIRLFRIEND/WIFE: [genuinely butthurt, verge of tears] “What’s that supposed to mean? What are you saying?”

Negs are one of the most vital parts of game, and yet they are also the most misunderstood, and consistently misapplied, part of game. Aspiring PUAs tend to mistake negs for insults, and to use them on the wrong sorts of girls. Recap: Negs are primarily meant to be used on girls who meet at least two of three of the following criteria:

1. She’s a 7 or higher (8 or higher if you could conceivably intimidate girls upon first meeting them. 6 or higher if she’s an Entitled American Chubster living in a big blue state city).

2. She’s under 25, or under 30 if you are an older guy.

2. She’s not in love with you.

Once a girl has fallen deeply in love with you — the kind of love that means she has surrendered her ego and much of the insufferable female caprice that goes with it — she no longer needs daily affirmations of your higher value, something which the neg wonderfully fulfills early on when you and her first start dating. The Woman in Love (WIL) needs something else foremost; she needs validation. Validation that you love her back; that her love for you isn’t going to waste in a one-way mission. The neg which works so well to attract new women that you meet can backfire on you if you use it on an LTR who already loves you, because a WIL is psychologically groomed to overanalyze any word out of your mouth for evidence that you aren’t 100% emotionally committed to her. A woman in this state is fragile, ready to splinter into a million tiny glassy shards of sadness at the slightest provocation.

This is not to say that negs have no use in LTRs. Quite the contrary. The neg, and its generalized cousin flirty teasing, are never abandoned once an LTR is established. Any man who turns his back on the game which got him the girl is tempting the fate of a low down dirty breakup. The difference between pickup game and LTR game is one of degree, not kind. All you will be doing is lessening the intensity and the frequency of your negs and teasing once you have landed the girl, and throwing in a few more sincere compliments than you otherwise would with any girl you haven’t been dating for long.

Remember, the blissful state of ego-less love that a woman will experience with a man (and what a great time this is!) only lasts between six months and two years. Four years if you don’t have kids. So, yes, you can ride out this love bubble as a regressed beta herb who has virtuously forsaken the crimson arts and suffer few ill consequences, but the more beta you are the quicker you hasten the day when the love bubble pops, and the girlfriend or wife who couldn’t get enough of your love slowly finds herself annoyed by your kisses and cuddles.

An LTR gives you a larger margin of beta error, at the cost of insidious complacency. You can be more beta with a woman who loves you, but the downside is that you will be less likely to notice when you have reversed the sexual polarity and her feelings begin to assume a darker cast. A WIL won’t have a sudden conversion to lovelessness. What will happen instead is that your betafication will annoy her once a month, then once a week, then once a day, and finally every second she is with you. She won’t know why it’s happening — to her, you still look the same, still pay her compliments, and still shuffle off to a job every day — but something about your behavior which she can’t put her finger on is pushing her away. The anger inside her will compound because she’ll hate you for making her feel anhedonic resentment toward you, and for making her feel like she’s the bad guy. No woman wants to be with a man who makes her feel bad.

Zero game = woman formerly in love feels bad that she despises you.

Overgaming = woman in love feels hurt that you might not love her.

Like baby bear’s pickup porridge, find the right balance of game, (not too hard, not too soft), and you can extend the useful love life of an LTR beyond what most couples accomplish.


  1. A very important refinement of the use of negs. From experience.


  2. moist


  3. A hurt woman is better than one out of love, or one who is uninterested. Excellent post, though; elucidates the intricacies of triggering and maintaining attraction.


  4. on July 18, 2011 at 5:06 pm Rollo Tomassi

    Best LTR neg ever:

    Conspicuously staring at Mrs. Tomassi’s beautiful naked post-sex ass in the shower. Gives me the “what’re you thinking” look.

    “Lets just keep your ass that way.”

    Big glowing smiles.

    The perfect neg has all the sublime subtleties of a well written haiku. You must begin with the ending in mind, yet have the art to make it perceived as if it were spontaneous wit. And if it is spontaneous wit, all the better, but most men are not poets.


  5. 3) If she is not American and you neg her to hard she will actually be offended and hurt.


  6. This is all excellent and will be linked to whenever I yell at guys for insulting women versus negging high status women.

    A few things I strongly agree with:

    1. Long term relationships — even after I’ve entered LTR stage, I still feel like a good neg here and there is important. The women I date long term are more attracted to my “machismo” than any other aspect of my life. No one dates me for access to restaurants, for travel opportunities (rare), for the way I dress or the way I look, for my business prowess or for any other superficial/nepotism reason. They’re with me because they’re lacking “Man” in their lives. When they get a bit overheated in their own egos, a properly phrased neg pays off in spades by bringing them down a bit.

    2. Under 25 — the younger the gal is, the more attention she gets from guys in her life. It’s important that you lift yourself above her in whatever way possible without coming off as a braggart. I’ve had incredible luck with the sub-25 crowd, especially once I hit 35, but it’s always started with a very strong-but-slight neg early on. I still thing a good neg for HOT women over 25 is important, but by that time a lot of them are on to “the Game” and it can backfire.

    3. 4 years — almost always when a relationship expires, although I do have one going on 12 years (we see each other only a few times a year, tops).

    One VERY important thing to be aware of is that more and more women read sites like Roissy’s and are wisening up, but this stuff still works. You might get an utter fail every once in awhile, but even if they’re aware doesn’t mean that they’re prepared to attack back.


    • on July 18, 2011 at 5:38 pm (R)Evolutionary


      I’ve been digging your posts on here more & more. Good shit. Got some good examples of a “strong but slight” neg?


      • (R)E: The “strong but slight” is not something you can casually do with random women because it requires strong insight into the weaknesses women think they have but don’t verbalize, and you have to curb them significantly so they’re slight — not harsh in any way.

        I used to see a gal until recently who was 27 and I found some wrinkle cream in her bathroom cabinet that wasn’t there before when she was 25 or 26. Obvious that she was worried about her wrinkles, but the neg I used wasn’t about wrinkles at all — I would give her the rare compliment like “I really dig your eyes lately, they’re convey so much intelligence” or “Is that new mascara?” when she is obviously not wearing any. I only threw it out there when she threw out shit tests, which I only responded by looking at her and throwing her a neg-compliment.

        Another gal I was seeing for a reasonably long time (18 months or so) only had sex in the dark and I hated it but never really took a step to just turning on the light. When a gal pal of hers joked to me about “does she still have sex in the dark” and I said “yeah, what’s up with that?” she let on that the gal hated how long her torso was (it was actually pretty freakishly long). So when she’d ask em about clothes she bought, I’d usually neg-compliment her with “Well, it looks nice but you’re always wearing hip huggers, thankfully you have a great waist line to show off.”

        Strong — picking up on the things you know she’s worried about but doesn’t share, and slight — don’t over do it. It HAS to come off as a compliment, but only use it when she’s obviously shit testing you.

        In the recently years, I’ve started to just get rid of broads who shit test excessively. I’ve met a really strong set of gals who do it less than once every 3 months to any major degree (the common regular shit tests are expected, I mean the harsh ones), so it’s proof that there are more out there. I’ll take a 6.5 woman who rarely shit tests over an 8 who does it daily.

        Thanks for the compliment, by the way. Hit me up if you’re ever in Chicago or Houston or Miami.


      • on July 18, 2011 at 8:25 pm (R)Evolutionary

        “you have to curb them significantly so they’re slight — not harsh in any way.”

        Indeed. It’s a subtle art that I’m still working on. The Chateau’s post speaks to the challenge in getting the calibration right on this one. It’s one of the more difficult aspects of game to master, because it’s not just pure balls like getting over approach anxiety. Proper neg calibration requires subtly, sensitivity, and experience. Experience requires a few epic fails to get right.

        I once gave a girl a nutritional product sample that was supposed to cure PMS, and she took it pretty hard. But I was able to play it off as totally unintentional. I’ve teased women too hard about their age and/or their weight. Both are a no-no, unless you know she’s got a Level 5 ego that needs full thermonuclear detonation. But even then–why even mess with a bitch that headstrong? As you said:

        “In the recently years, I’ve started to just get rid of broads who shit test excessively. I’ve met a really strong set of gals who do it less than once every 3 months to any major degree (the common regular shit tests are expected, I mean the harsh ones), so it’s proof that there are more out there. I’ll take a 6.5 woman who rarely shit tests over an 8 who does it daily.”



      • And there’s the next issue to deal with when you neg a woman — her “sad” response might very well be a shit test. It’s insufferable, which is why I go out of my way to find women who shit test less.

        Honestly, the “first date” for me in literally 2 hours or less of me watching for signs of the shit testing. I don’t care if it’s that time of the month or she had a shitty day at the office, if I sense the shit tests coming on en masse when we’re just having a first round of cocktails, I’m quick to stand up and say “Well, bye.” The hotter the gal, the shorter the goodbye is once I realize that she’s not worth my time.

        There are a few reasons to mess with a headstrong hottie: social proof. My tool that I talk about here often is to LJBF the hotties that you know are too ego-minded for you to invest the energy to slap them down to their proper level. I laugh pretty much daily at the 9s in my life who I LJBF and who all have the same response: jaw-dropping and a lowering of themselves to beneath me. The hotter they are, the more questions they ask openly about why I never pitch game at them. Even when I tell them LJBF, they’re still shit-testing all day long, but the benefits of having a pack of hot orbiter broads is worth putting up with that mindless nonsense.


    • “One VERY important thing to be aware of is that more and more women read sites like Roissy’s and are wisening up”

      True but the number of women really aware of the subtleties of game will never achieve a significant proportion. Even beta males and AFCs, who have more to gain by mastering game, will still be around in alarming proportions for a looong time.
      And even if women know all about game, there’s nothing to be afraid of if yours is relatively tight.
      It’s like when a man realizes that he’s attracted to T&A for evolutionary reasons, it’s not a big deal. Worst case is that the woman will withdraw from the dating scene if she’s appalled by the cold hard truth (instead of the classic delusions about perfect little snowflakes and eternal love), or she will start throwing remarks like “i see what you’re doing” while still enjoying the moment.
      It’s frustrating to know that women can know about men’s little maneuvers, but i don’t see a real threat.

      You got it right though in what you said next.


      • A few gals that I see regularly or otherwise know I read and post here and elsewhere and none of them seem to mind, even if I make an example of them. That’s the power of actually being a man — women who can sense that they’re missing that in their lives are completely bulletproof to the power of the truth. Hell, it probably raises my profile a few notches with those who appreciate the finer aspects of a real man, and I still have my stumbling areas even at 37.


      • “It’s like when a man realizes that he’s attracted to T&A for evolutionary reasons, it’s not a big deal.”

        I agree with you 100%. If a man is confident enough to run the game on me, than I don’t mind, because it makes me believe he’s a real alpha. (Unfortunately for him, when I find out that he’s just pretending I start to feel disgusted/nauseated (Don’t blame me for that, I can’t help – this is evolutionary, too)).

        [Editor: Incorrect. Even when you find out he’s “just pretending” you’ll still be attracted to him, in much the same way that a man won’t stop liking a hot girl just because he finds out she wears makeup and perfume.]

        I compare it to girls game – when she has beautiful skin (no matter how much anti-wrinkle treatments she uses) or nice body (even though she’s doing some special exercise to look more sexy), you’ll be attracted to her just as you were when she had beautiful skin/body without any effort, am I right?


      • Yes, I wasn’t clear enough … With ‘pretending’ I wanted to describe a guy who behaves like he’s super confident and then he reveals his true creepy nature by saying something like “Can I kiss you?”.
        Also, I don’t think you can compare that to makeup or perfume, because both these are no big deal – what about when you find out a hot girl has false teeth and many surgical scars?
        One other thing is that men are not repulsed by women who are not hot enough, they are just not interested, whereas women are actually disgusted and maybe even afraid of creepy men.


  7. on July 18, 2011 at 5:17 pm Corporal Hicks

    Very important distinction. WIL are easily hurt by too many negs and lose confidence (which doesn’t make them fun to be around.)

    “Light-hearted fun teasing” is the operative term.

    If your woman is saying things like “You’re crazy, man,” or “You’re too much!!” then you’re doing it right.

    It’s kinda the equivalent of a new girl saying “He’s such a jerk!!”


  8. on July 18, 2011 at 5:19 pm Finger's Breath

    So I have a question – if you overgame your girlfriend, can you win her back?


    • Good question. I way overplayed the negs and hardness, in an attempt to undo the damage my years of severe betatude had done. It only backfired, making her more insecure and angry at me. Trying to win her back proved to be a waste of time.


      • on July 20, 2011 at 1:04 pm Finger's Breath


        This exact thing happened to me earlier in the year. I overgamed my betatude and then cried when I tried to get her back. I was alpha until the very end. I’ve been dating/banging other girls, but I really miss this one and want her back.


      • Finger’s I feel for you! I saw another post of yours below asking the difference between being angry and/or indifferent. If she is indifferent towards you, she would not have even bothered deleting you from facebook and most likely would still be somewhat friendly/cordial towards you – yet aloof. At that stage, indifference is not the side you want to be on b/c once a woman gets there, she really becomes apathetic and/or doesn’t really care one way or another about you.

        She sounds angry at you. Which means she still has some emotional feelings towards you. Its hard b/c you haven’t exactly told us what you actually did or said.

        I read your story below and its difficult to guide you without knowing exactly what you did to piss her off. the best I can tell you is this may be the one time in life where you have to learn from your mistake and take your loss. There will be times when one simply can’t always bounce back from a mistake in one particular situation. Its going to be painful for awhile, but sometimes we make mistakes that do cost us. The most valuable thing you can take away from this is to learn what you did wrong in this situation and never make that mistake again.

        I do wish you the best:)


      • on July 20, 2011 at 3:57 pm Finger's Breath

        Right. Everyone in my life has told me that she’s angry for the exact same reasons she’s indifferent.

        Here’s the very brief story. I did the total opposite of what my typical beta self would do throughout the entire relationship. I waited three weeks post-breakup, called for a drink, and got an “I don’t know, I have a lot of work to do.” Via the advice of a friend good with women, I called again a week later, apologized, and got emo (cried) against my own accord. We ended up meeting in person and she wouldn’t give me the time of day (I cried again). I swear those were the only times I was beta. She moved away to South Jersey after she graduated to start her career (I’m in central NJ). I know she isn’t speaking to me because that same friend convinced me to call her the day after her graduation and told me a friendly voicemail to leave her. She never called back and she deleted me from Facebook just three weeks ago because I stopped hiding on its chat feature after four months of being broken up. The only times I contacted her were to get her back and to congratulate her, no others. She asked for a break one week after she pulled out, “I love you” the very first time and we broke up a week after that. This is why I think she’s angry. Not to mention that I made fake facebook posts from a cuter girl in the three week interim post-breakup.

        Is she angry or indifferent? What do I have to do (or not do) to get this girl back? The basic advice is to move on and date/sleep with other girls, but I’ve already done all that. I’m going through a depressed phase where I really miss my girlfriend and I’ve been experiencing self-doubt and questioning my worth.


      • Oh boy. Okay. This jumped out at me:

        “She asked for a break one week after she pulled out, “I love you” the very first time and we broke up a week after that.”

        If I’m reading correctly, its been 4 months total since the break up? I’m still going with angry vs. indifferent. the week after she said “I love you”, you guys broke up? WHY? This is what I am curious about b/c something had to have happened to make her break up with you after saying she loved you. No one says that and then breaks up with someone unless something really bad happened. I’m assuming this is when you were over gaming her? And then after the break up you still kind of over gamed her by placing fake facebook posts on your page from another attractive girl – I’m sure that added more fuel to the fire and hurt & confused her even more further causing her to have all kinds of things running through her mind about you possibly cheating on her with said Facebook girl since it was so close to your break up.

        You made a lot of mistakes. And I’m only putting my neck out here to say this (I’m gonna catch holy hell from the guys here) b/c you sound young and seem very distraught/depressed over this – BUT The only thing I feel left for you to do other than cut your loss (if you MUST have her back ) is for you to simply come clean with EVERYTHING. If its been 4 months since the break up and she’s not letting up, then you need to be more pro active b/c time is steady passing, she’s moved to a new area and you run the risk of her seeing new guys. Gaming obviously didn’t work with your g/f so you need a new approach. Own up to everything you did. Be honest with her completely. Call her up and say “I really fuk’d up” and spill the beans. It seems she is very hurt about something you did/said after she said “I love you”. Whatever that was, own up to it.


      • on July 21, 2011 at 1:17 pm Finger's Breath

        Well it’s been five months now. I don’t think it’s wise to confess everything because that would only solidify me as a liar and someone that can’t be trusted. Besides, I called her two months ago and she never responded, so trying is moot.

        I resorted to fake facebook posts via the advice of an online ebook I bought on how to win your girlfriend back, which assumes your ex lost attraction for you. Clearly this was not the case, but rather she seemed to be questioning how I felt about her in the first place. This likely hurt her that much more.

        As for asking for a break, I didn’t do anything outside my usual self when this happened. She always complained that I made stupid comments and demanded I stop the behavior. She frequently made me apologize for it, but I guess she just lost her patience with me. I think she asked for a break as a wake up call (a very passive wake up call) and then we broke up on the phone a week later. Before she called me that night, however, I saw she started an online dating profile. What more could I do? I didn’t think I could get back with her while she secretly scouted for other men behind my back. Then, she started making indirect facebook posts about being with other men (likely untrue, but I was convinced of them). To this day, she doesn’t know I’m aware of these facts, but when I saw them, I began my fake facebook rants.

        As for the overgaming – it was the entire time I knew her. She was my first experience with “game.” It did work, except I didn’t know that I was supposed to stop. She said that I wasn’t serious about the relationship. As for telling her, “I really fucked up,” I did do that already. When I tried getting her back, I said something smooth along the lines of, “Hey, I owe you an apology about how I acted. I didn’t mean to push you away and want you as part of my life.” She unleashed her grievances and I started crying on the phone with her. I was so in “take me back please” mode that I overlooked when she tried to change the subject numerous times to something more fun/light-hearted. I just pushed her way too hard toward getting back together without realizing she was giving me that chance. I was the bigger person and never revealed that I knew about her secret profile.


      • Fingers,

        This sounds like something that is just going to take time. Don’t dwell on the past, we all screw up. I know you really want her back right away, and that its tough, but it seems you have done all you could to win her back with no success. Its going on 5 months. Maybe the only next thing you can do is try to see if she’ll be friends first, and then work from there?

        I don’t know if this is good advice but maybe her friend who helped you the first time can help you again? Maybe the two of you can show up where she currently lives as a “friendly” visit to see how things are going with her new job and how well she has adjusted to the new area she lives in. DO NOT bring up the dating profile thing or anything related to the past or the relationship. Just try to get the lightheartedness back that she tried with you before you started crying. Just be friendly and don’t make any references to getting back together. You are going to have to start from ground zero on this. The best way is to be friends again, and I believe later once there is some understanding on both of your needs in a relationship that she will come around. Try that and let me know if the friend agreed to do this – or you can even do it yourself (visit her just to see how things are going).


      • on July 21, 2011 at 5:36 pm Finger's Breath

        So do you think she’s angry or indifferent? Please explain. Thanks for sharing your opinion, btw.


      • Well you called her at two month mark and she didn’t respond. Its 3 months later. i’m still going to say ANGRY and HURT. Based on some of the things you told me. You said she “unleashed her grievences onto you” after the break up. She still has emotional feelings. Indifferent people dont have feeling towards the situation or person one way or another. When I was indifferent towards an ex, I could hold a convo with him and have no feelings whatsoever (no hurt, no joy). When I was angry, i didn’t want to speak with him b/c I was too hurt about what he did.

        IMO if she were indifferent, you would not be able to elicit ANY emotional feelings from her. She would act very non chalant towards you – neither hurt nor happy. You’d get nothing in way of emotion with an indifferent woman.

        Anger can turn into indifference for some over a longer periods of time. That is why i said, you can make one last attempt by trying to pay a “friendly” visit to her. Based on her response, that is how you decide on where to go. Either way, you need to something other than trying to call pretty quickly b/c time is passing. HTH


      • on July 21, 2011 at 8:46 pm Finger's Breath

        My thoughts exactly. Pursuing her will be extremely difficult if she’s not willing to speak to me. Visiting her unexpectedly would be too random and just creepy, but I will figure something out. Thanks!


      • Good luck my dear! I think you are a good guy with a great heart that made some mistakes. I believe in your heart you didn’t mean it and you will be just fine either way. i really wish you the best. You deserve a 2nd chance 🙂


      • on July 21, 2011 at 9:22 pm Finger's Breath

        Thanks, new friend! I was always terrible with women until I came across this stuff. While the girl can hate and blame all she wants, I don’t think the world can hate me for taking a learning detour in my life that has clearly given me results. It’s all amplifying from here.

        Now, there are many reasons why this girl was not the best for me, but I won’t go into them. She was my first girlfriend and the first girl to ever tell me, “I love you.” I feel teased to be dumped so rapidly after hearing it. And no, I didn’t mean any of it. I thought relationships just meant, “continue the attraction,” which translates into continuing game. Why reinvent the wheel, right? Bottom line: I learned a TON of things from this. The next relationship will last much longer.


      • “I don’t think the world can hate me for taking a learning detour in my life that has clearly given me results. It’s all amplifying from here.”

        Absolutely! And you are going to make many more mistakes. You aren’t perfect and its okay to make mistakes in relationships. You are still young I can tell, so you have a lot of learning ahead of you. But You’re already one step ahead of the curve – know why? b/C a real man isn’t afraid to say how he feels, what he did wrong and even that he cried. She may be too young to appreciate your mishaps and willingness to go above and beyond to win her back, but I think it takes a lot of character and balls to come to this site and admit the things you did.

        “Bottom line: I learned a TON of things from this. The next relationship will last much longer.”

        And she’ll be a lucky gal!! (just know you will still make mistakes. Just try to avoid the same ones)


    • The only thing that evenutally might get her back is not trying to get her back
      That’s if she left because of you Betatism, if she left because you were A-lpha/sshole. Keep doin’ it 😀


      • on July 19, 2011 at 3:44 pm Once Upon a Time.

        Oh that can not be good. Financially I would hope there would be a way to do so without the hit of divorce.


  9. on July 18, 2011 at 5:20 pm Beer Monkey

    Having lived in Red and Blue states, I’d disagree that Red State Girls need less negging. These poofy-haired girls have been told by momma ever since their prepubescent Jon-Benet pageant days that they are beautiful and magical and that someday there will be a Good Christian Man who will only have eyes for them and be deserving of their special, unique love.

    If you think Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Jenny Sanford, Tipper Gore et al don’t think their vaginas contain the magical elixir of life and that their poo is mystically fragrant, you’ve got a big surprise coming. They were even higher on themselves in their twentysomething years, I guarantee it.


  10. I have no trouble with negs (theory and practice) with the younger girls – indeed, negs on my daughters and their friends work wonders and I use them relentlessly (or so it seems; to a recovering beta negs, like most game, seem to be counter-intuitive but the results speak for themselves). But as I’m in the second half of my allotted century my dating targets tend to be in their mid-thirties. What is the appropriate use of the neg on the older girls?


  11. on July 18, 2011 at 5:28 pm (R)Evolutionary

    “…the downside is that you will be less likely to notice when you have reversed the sexual polarity and her feelings begin to assume a darker cast.”

    So true. I was caught flat-footed on this one, back in the dark old pre-red pill days; Killer Instinct is legit on this one–maintain hand, you’ve got to keep your edges sharp.


  12. I’m working through the Beta/Gamma training and natural Sigmaness of my borderline Asperger’s Syndrome to married Game. What little I’d help here is:

    1. If she has a no-go zone, STAY away. My grandfather and grandmother were into “bickering game” 100%, and could bicker with the best of them. The fact that she couldn’t have any children was a 100% no-go zone, and he never, ever got near it. One time, he accidentally grazed the subject (no negs) during a conversation, and he was in full apology mode the moment he knew he’d entered the land mine.

    Aside: the best “married game conversation” I’ve ever heard came from them.
    *GM* “Pick up your drawers after your shower. I’m tired of picking up your drawers out of the floor every time you get done with a shower.”
    *GF* “Hell, ****, I reckon there’s a lot of women who wouldn’t mind picking my drawers out off the floor.”
    *GM* “There’s a lot of men that wouldn’t mind picking up mine out of the floor either, ****.”
    *GF* “I reckon so.”

    2. As others have mentioned, turn and twist the self-negs. Milady doesn’t believe she’s beautiful. I tease her by invoking her brother (in his late 60s, and not a PC bone in his body): “Of course not, if you did you’d probably be quare” (yes, that’s his accent).

    3. Best married neg I’ve ever carried off, 100% by accident: Milady found a hand-made casket maker at a local craft fair, and asked him how much one would cost. He said gave an amount, and said “and that takes care of everything”. I had to quip “Darn, let me get my credit card”. She laughed and he stammered.

    Tease. You no longer have to get out the hammer and chisel; married game is scalpels and tweezers.


    • BTW, I really can speak and write English, despite what the first paragraph above implies. Sorry about that. Next time, I’ll not write my paragraphs in between working on database restores….


    • on July 18, 2011 at 9:22 pm Captain Obvious

      So if your grandma couldn’t have children, does that mean your grandpa whelped one of your parents? What would that make him on the alpha-omega scAle?


      • First kid destroyed my grandmother’s uterus, had to have a hysterectomy when my father was born. Both of them would have had 10 or 15 kids if it had been up to them. It was a sore point for her.

        As for rating, he was definitely an alpha.


    • Every girl I’ve been with has had landmines. Rape, age, weight. I’ve gone nuclear on them but with good humour and it’s worked great for me. If you’re constantly holding back your words and apologizing for what you said you’ll be inhibited and less attractive.

      Apologies in general are beta. The topic will come up, and it’s better if it comes up through witty humour than a sly slip. Women can go crazy over tiny things. Might as well make her laugh too.


      • Spot on. Practice to never say “I’m sorry” — it’s a fast way to reduce your market value and kowtow beneath her. On the occasions that I do screw up (and my mouth is a rapid fire of foot-insertions because I don’t give a fuck), I prefer to say the words around it. Instead of “I’m sorry I said this”, or just as worse, “I’m sorry you feel that way about what I said”, I prefer to ask “You feel that way about what I said?” When she says “Yes, absolutely, totally, I do!” I just nod my head while making eye contact with her and giving her a half wry smile. Not sardonic or derisive, just half wry, as if I am disappointed in someone. Her hamster will wonder “Is he disappointed in himself, or in me?”


      • Yeah, I agree. I’m a recovering beta in a married relationship (10 years married -14 years living together before that) and saying your sorry excessively is suicide. It’s just bad for both people in the relationship. I’m making a point of not going there anymore unless it is absolutely warranted.

        I’m really trying to use some principles of game to change things up and improve our relationship. For me I find it’s like bringing forward that deeply buried alpha inside if that makes any sense.

        On a side note my wife and I had a conversation the other night about our unequal sex drives. Mine high, hers lower. And, we ended up getting into quite a good talk about the true nature of men and women, and I must say that I was pleasantly surprised by how much we agreed upon. I mean she tended to agree with many alpha, beta attraction points you might find on this site, rape is about sex not power, the unreality of monogamy, etc. This was surprising, because though we’ve been together for so long we never get to really talk anymore because we have young children but no extended family support, so we rarely get a break from the kids to just talk.

        My wife is a very smart and analytical woman who does not take things at face value but she did when younger have opinions that were more in line with the brand of feminism that we grew up with (she 42, me 46) but I find that since having kids she’s really had an awakening of sorts and turfed a lot of previously held feminist beliefs, the extent to which I didn’t realize until a couple of days ago. I’m wondering if anyone else has witnessed these sort of changes with the women in their lives?


      • I have this conversation with married friends of mine at least once a week — if your wife isn’t wanting sex as much as you, YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING WRONG.

        A few borderline beta tricks that also are part of the alpha way if done in way lesser quantities:

        1. Remember ONE THING your wife says each week and write it down. Bring it up again a few weeks later… “Hey doll, any update on your sister’s hamster’s illness from a few weeks ago?” Don’t show TOO much interest or eagerness about her life, just focus on one of her retarded concerns every few weeks. This works.

        2. Go to bed about 45 minutes before her tired level activates. For some “busy” women, they get tired around 9pm, so pick up your newspaper or gun magazine or latest issue of Golfer’s Digest at 8:15pm and say “I’m going to bed to read.” Start out doing this once or twice a month, bump it to weekly, then bi-weekly, then do it every night. When she’s bored enough of watching 2 Days in Paris on Netflix for the 8th time this month, she might just come to bed, find herself NOT tired, and wonder why you’re still reading when she’s in bed. If you must do some sex initiation once she’s next to you, keep reading your magazine with one hand, but put the back of your other hand on the top of her forearm for a few minutes and withdraw. This works.

        3. If you leave for work before she’s out the door, trick her into the alpha draw-and-kiss-close maneuver. Open the front door or door to the garage and say “Hey doll, can you believe this?” When she walks over, stare at the wall or the ground or whatever and when she’s 2 feet away, toss your arm around her waist, pull her in, give her a VERY FAST kiss and then say “See you at 5.” Keep walking, don’t turn back. This works.

        I have seen plenty of marriages saved by the increase of the female sex drive from 3 little tricks that all alphas do well, but weaker men over-do or don’t do at all.

        Side note: When your wife/girlfriend isn’t around, in the morning (bathroom, office if you have a mirror, whatever), do 5-10 squats every Monday and Thursday. Knees behind front toes, bend down to a 90 degree sitting posture, hold as long as possible, repeat 5-10 times. Twice a week, every week, for a total of 10 minutes of your week, and in 6-10 weeks your sex drive will sky rocket, your boners will be bigger and girthier, and your wife WILL notice.

        Again, this works.


      • “1. Remember ONE THING your wife says each week and write it down. Bring it up again a few weeks later…”

        Yup, she gonna love this. Reincoporating casually some concern to do with her and not the kids. Beautiful. I can almost hear the tingling.

        “3. … trick her into the alpha draw-and-kiss-close maneuver.”

        Yup, pull a little of the Cary Grant on her. Nice, I can see how this this might work. Slightly unsettling but exciting for her. (male dominance and unpredictability)

        “if your wife isn’t wanting sex as much as you, YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING WRONG”

        While I realize that I must make changes, what about hormonal changes in women in their 40s—the whole approaching menopause thing? I’m wondering how much of a causal factor that is for a decreased interest in sex? I haven’t had a chance to do any research on that yet.


      • The loss of the woman’s sex drive during menopause is a MYTH — only a small minority of women actually do lose their sex drives, and plenty of them have a sex drive boost if they have a healthy sex life before menopause.

        I’m not a big fan of Dr. Rob, but here’s some decent advice:

        Get her wanting you in bed before the symptoms appear and she’ll want you till she buries you.


      • While I realize that I must make changes, what about hormonal changes in women in their 40s—the whole approaching menopause thing?

        Yes, some women do experience an increased sex drive at this time. And if they are married they get the urge for a fling. So the increase might not benefit their husband.


      • You’re right with all your suggestions. Some degree of concern mixed with mystery and kino will work wonders. But, women do biologically have a lower sex drive. Surveys on levels of sexual thought and on sexual activity show that clearly. This is due to low levels of testosterone. What you suggest the man does, exercise, the woman should do that too.

        Find an exercise video where a female who your wife would regard as attractive does compound exercise (using multiple muscles at once, which releases more testosterone movement for movement) and she will very happily do it with you. That will boost her levels of testosterone and have the bonus of keeping her thin and sexy.


  13. This is solid. I’ve been seeing a girl who is a hardcore WIL and when I neg her I’ve found that she withdraws so much that I’ve been wondering what the hell is wrong with my game. Now I see I’ve been overgaming. Also, when I act beta around her she seems to love me even more. So strange…


    • “Also, when I act beta around her she seems to love me even more. ”

      Careful. If she gets too comfortable, WHAM!, fifteen pounds of refined Hagen Daz, right there on those thighs you did right now.


    • It’s important to show some vulnerability in a LTR. At some point she needs to feel an emotional connection and know that you are an actual human being. That’s why your small beta misteps cause that reaction.


      • on July 18, 2011 at 6:25 pm Finger's Breath

        So let’s say she breaks up with you because of that emotional void, a result of overgaming. Can you win her back?


      • It’s going to be much easier to “win back” a girl after being too alpha than it would be if you had been too beta.


      • on July 18, 2011 at 7:43 pm Finger's Breath

        Well I asked because I overgamed my ex and then got very beta when I tried getting her back. It was an emotional hellstorm for me. We never got back together. I’m convinced she’s angry and quite hurt, but she refuses to speak to me. She just deleted me from her facebook about three weeks ago and we were broken up for about four months then. I’m excluded many many details, but I want this girl back in my life. I’m dating/fucking other girls, but I want this one. I don’t know what to do.


      • if you did get her back by being too beta, you’d ultimately regret it more than your current situation.

        keep dating/fucking other girls, sooner or later you’ll forget about this one.

        just say no to oneitis.


      • on July 18, 2011 at 9:14 pm Finger's Breath

        Right right. I understand all the fluff of moving on. Is there anything I can do? I really do want this one.


      • The only thing I can think of is to find way to play it off like your betatude was on purpose. Act like you knew that it would cause her to turn away from you and that’s what you wanted cause you needed your space. But going to hard with the mushy stuff was a mistake (“Mistakes were made”). Tell this to one of her friends. And be just like, “Yeah, you can tell her this if you want.” If she starts talking to you again, you’re probably gonna have to start at the bottom with you game again. Probably a good idea to keep your teasing and negs soft at this point and otherwise proceed as normal.


      • on July 19, 2011 at 5:27 am Finger's Breath

        Going too hard with the mushy stuff was a mistake – So she turned away from me because I came off too desperately? Then why is she acting like she wants nothing to do with me (deleting me from Facebook)? I showed I really do care by crying in front of her. It doesn’t make sense.

        Also, how do you know if an ex is indifferent or angry? I’m having a hard time telling.


      • on July 19, 2011 at 7:22 am Finger's Breath

        If I say that the mushy stuff was a mistake it’s going to push this girl further away because she will only feel like she’s being played like a chess game. She deleted my from her facebook from a reason. Obviously this sort of thing bothers her. One of my top questions is “Is she indifferent or angry?” because I have a hard time differentiating between the two. I was the one that emailed Roissy the angry ex question, but it was a leading question.


      • Have you ever heard any useful advice for how to get a girl back? The only advice I ever hear is to not try. But does that actually get the girl back – or does it just help you to cut your losses, save a little face, and get you moving on?

        Girls don’t come back. The exceptions to this are just random flukes, probably having little to do with what the guy did or did not do.

        When a girl moves on, you may have a window of a few months to play around as fuck buddies, but you aint a thing and won’t be again. Consider that she has changed into an entirely different person, and the old person you knew is dead.


      • on July 20, 2011 at 2:13 pm Finger's Breath

        Do girls really do things with such finality? I read this blog actively, and it feels like a lot of the commenters would say that nobody has ever gotten back together in the history of PUA relationships. I mean, how accurately can you judge how bad your situation is in the larger scheme of things?


      • Is it possible she’s a sensitive girl? I’ve been studying for the past week on this site and came across an article about sensitive girls.


      • on July 21, 2011 at 5:33 pm Finger's Breath

        If anything, she’s a hard ass. I think she was just desperate for any kind of emotional connection with me, but unaware of this relationship necessity, I never gave her one.


  14. “Remember, the blissful state of ego-less love that a woman will experience with a man (and what a great time this is!) only lasts between six months and two years.”

    This is interesting. is there something that drives this (more objective), or Is this solely your observation?


    • I want to know this as well, because I’d like to have a very passionate marriage till menopause.
      Usually, everyone says that passionate love does not last, but I’m wondering whether this is just a feminist phenomenon or is this a low of nature?


      • I mean ‘law’ …


      • There are definitely enough examples of passion dying a slow sputtering death that it’s not the exception. It takes at least 1 of the pair understanding these things to keep it alive, and both to give it more than a dim chance.


      • Yes. I went searching under oxytocin and found this in a passage.

        “…….She also suggests it is possible to trick the brain into feeling romantic love in a long-term relationship by doing novel things with your partner. Any arousing activity drives up the level of dopamine and can therefore trigger feelings of romance as a side effect. This is why holidays can rekindle passion. Romantics, of course, have always known that love is a special sort of chemistry. Scientists are now beginning to show how true this is. “


      • Better loving through chemisty, like they joked in the ’60s and Ecstasy folk still do.


      • I remember watching a documentary on history channel about how Ecstasy was a very LEGAL and popular widely used drug intially used by marriage counselors to help struggling partners. And it seemed to have really worked. Of course like anything, people started using recreationally and abusing it and thus, the Gov’t stepped in.


      • There have been studies that say that women who ride the cock carousel eventually become desensitized to oxytocin (or lose the ability to produce some of their own), which makes it hard for them to bond with the poor schlub they settled for.


      • yes this is my question for women who do sleep around. Obviously the more you sleep around the more orgasms you will have with various men. I did wonder if they eventually lose that bonding ability, thus making them distrustful and unable to have a healthy ltr with a man.


      • Men know this instinctively (this is why til recently, virginity was mandatory for the girl to get married). Feminism led some men (only betas?) to feel bad about their instincts.
        Only diehard betas (however rich, good-looking or successful they are) marry sluts. Chateau made it clear.


      • Can you link to these studies? Blog references of them won’t count, of course.


      • It varies according to the people involved. We’ve been married five years now and we’ve been together for seven years. We have a great love life and see one another as much as possible. We always talk a lot and being together makes us both feel a sense of joy. We seldom argue and when we do its never mean or lasts long. I think what you describe is possible because I think I’ve found it myself. With the right people, you don’t even have to try very hard. It comes naturally because they balance one another’s personality extremes out.


    • Its a scientific fact that infatuation can last maximum 3 years


      • I’m sure some sociologists made these studies. There’s still a question whether this is natural state.


      • Wow. I know I did read from a PHD relationship guru (Patricia Allen) that women who orgasm or release oxytocin with a partner, do immediatley experience a connection that lasts up to 2 years. Interesting stuff.


      • Yes, I believe that. I was wondering whether it can last over 3 years, for up to 3 years I believe it’s scientifically proven.
        I said that probably sociologists made the study because I know how some people do the studies: They only obtain the data about prevalence and than that’s it. Some people reading these studies then conclude how this must be a natural state.


      • Okay, now it seems like I have something against sociologists … I don’t want to make generalizations, but sociologists are usually feminist/liberal/against evo psych (at least they are here, where I live) and when they talk about relationships I don’t believe them, no matter how many times they mention oxytocin and stuff like that.


      • Lol, Maya you’re talking with yourself dear


      • You’re right. I better go. Good night.


      • sleep tight don’t let the bedbugs bite


      • We’re in agreement here. Sociologists are dogmatists whose dogma is the exact opposite of what will solve the problems they study.


      • Nick: “sleep tight don’t let the bedbugs bite”

        Gratuitous Firefly reference?


      • Its true. The connection can actually last far longer. Its been my experience that giving women the big O will have them following you around like a stray dog. They will think fondly of you even years later. Your memory will always be associated with a warm smile stealing across her lips.


      • Yeah and boy are you guys cocky when you administer one. lol A woman that as an O with a guy its not just physical but very mental/emotional too. I understad the bonding effect since the only other time women release Oxytocin is during childbirth and breastfeeding (times of bonding). So add physcal and mental and the fact that Big O’s don’t come so easily, you get – stray dog. LOL


      • tyrone, from what you wrote in your comments, seems that you have a perfect marriage 🙂 What you mentioned here is exactly what I want – to follow my man around like a stray dog. I know a girl who’s like that, but people don’t seem to understand why she is like that – they believe she’s not ‘strong’ enough, but I think she’s just HAPPY.


      • Sounds like you’re off to a good start. Now you need to find a beta herb or an ex-beta herb and train him to keep his game top-notch. A natural won’t have the understanding of game or alpha-beta balance to do it, but you can train an beta by rewarding positive behavior and making sure he knows about game.


      • Thanks for your comment. I was thinking about that. I could train a ‘normal’ guy to behave like I want. But the problem is that a woman can’t teach his man about the game, it would kill all the passion. Imagine noticing how your girlfriend is not hot enough anymore and than giving her advice what plastic surgery or make up should she use in order to look hot for you again. There are some things you can’t tell or ask for. Like a woman can’t beg her man to love her. Or a man can’t make a woman admire him or have sex with him by asking/begging her for that. I’d really like to know what a woman has to do to make a man behave more ‘alpha’ without telling him that directly. You think rewarding alpha behaviour is enough?


      • “I could train a ‘normal’ guy to behave like I want.”
        –> Perhaps you could (the Beta would be happy to oblige). But you’d resent him one way or another.

        An alpha male would be sorely annoyed with your attempt to leash his behavior.


      • “But you’d resent him one way or another.”

        Very likely. So the only thing I can do is keep looking for an alpha who will fall in love with me.


      • on July 18, 2011 at 8:16 pm (R)Evolutionary

        There’s no such thing as “Scientific fact.” There are only theories that have been well-demonstrated, or not. Even gravitation is not a law, but a theory, because it’s still being explored (space-time curvature, etc.)

        But I hear what you’re saying. I’ve got a lot of 2-year relationships under my belt.


  15. You two in a lesbian relationship?


  16. I used to deny Roissy’s theorem of 6mos to 2 yrs, with the best being 4 years and then it happened to me. It’s also happened to every single one of my friend’s LTR’s as wel. Within the last hour I have had 2 of my co-workers just tell me they are in the midst of a break up, I asked both of them how long they were together. 2 years, and 5 years. It must be biological. Any relationship that lasts over 4 years no longer has that same tenor of “being in love” with the worst case scenario being that either one of those involved is already seeking other options.


    • I don’t know if I agree with it yet or not. For me, I think relationships seem to have a certain amount of “contact time” before they’re over, and it equates directly to how strong the chemistry was for the woman from the start.

      My longest (and still ongoing) relationship is now into year 12, but she lives in Europe. When I see her, the chemistry is stronger than any other relationship I’ve ever had — she has plenty of time to miss me, and our contact when we’re oceans parted is near zero. If I saw her daily, I’d be sick of her and she’d be sick of me.

      My shorter (and still favorite) “real” relationship was 4 months, but we saw each other 4-5 days a week (she worked at my bank). The sex was obnoxiously amazing, she adored me to the end of the world, but when it was over, it was over without any question. If we didn’t see each other for even a month I’m sure it would be over pretty quickly.

      There’s a balance to all relationships and there’s one area you as a man have to maximize: the “I miss you” factor that women NEED to feel. If you extend your time away too long, they’ll lose interest, too, so it’s a balance.


      • I disagree. I’ve done well with relationships where contact is near 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. My last really great relationship – perhaps the happiest I’ve ever had, was like this. We never tired of each other and were quite happy. And passionate. That lasted 11 months and would have lasted many years longer if she hadn’t croaked.

        I do quite well with just one main companion who I live with, and we both just stay at home all day.


    • on July 19, 2011 at 12:25 pm Harmonious Fist

      “It must be biological.”
      Since sex is about reproduction — something occasionally forgotten around here, but it is the key to everything — and reproduction exists under the brooding shadow of Darwinian survival competition, this makes sense. It is enough time to keep the male around long enough to get a child out and walking around. Mother nature just wants to keep life going, and providing a brief period of romantic happiness is one of her many tools to manipulate you into producing the next generation and keeping the little darlings from being eaten by hyenas.


  17. I would say that there are two surefire ways to keep that heroin high of being in love as long as possible aside from the man using game and the woman remaining hot and feminine is:

    1) Don’t see each other too often. The more you spend time together the quicker that that the drug will wear off.

    2) Have a higher passion than the partnership itself that unites you on some level. I have known academics who who used their activism as a way to keep that bond strong and going. I know the haters will come out on this one but both my parents are very spiritual people who always say they put God first and the marriage second. Both my Mom and my Dad say that in front of each other, in front of us and have all my life. They have been married for over 35 years and they still exhibit a lot of the ‘in love’ attributes that I read on this blog. However, my dad does game my Mom hard and always will, natural alpha to the bone, in fact when he met my mom he had 5 different lovers and still brags about it to this day to which my mom snickers.


    • Good one, my dad was an alpha gamer too, however mum and dad separated after 20 years of marriage. I’am a beta guy, and the worst country to be beta,even worse than the USA is Australia.


  18. NONONONO bad blogger! Bad blogger! Negs are not “teasing” at all. If you look at the original Mystery “neg,” it’s merely a statement showing lack of interest.

    The common misconception on the ‘net for the past decade has been that negs are somehow flirtatious teasing. They are not. The original neg was Mystery earnestly asking a girl if her nails were real and acting mildly disappointed when they weren’t. This is not teasing, this is simply asking questions and making comments that an interested suitor would NOT.

    [Editor: Well, to be honest, a completely uninterested party wouldn’t neg at all. Have you ever negged a fat chick? Right, because you truly weren’t interested in her.]

    Negs are a way to self-disqualify yourself which makes her qualify herself to you. They are merely a way to show you’re not competing for her puzzy, in fact you’re not even interested in it. Flirts and teases are just the opposite. If she gives you an “OMG I can’t believe you just said that,” you are not doing negs.

    I’m saddened than 99.999% of guys on the web don’t understand this fundamental point about negs. They are anti-flirt and anti-tease. They are statements showing that you have no romantic/sexual interest at all in the woman.

    [A lot of teasing is a form of displaying sexual indifference, or at least demonstrating your composure in front of a beautiful girl. Flirty teasing is a little more sexual/assertive in nature. That’s why I said teasing is a generalized cousin to negging. They aren’t the same thing, but they come from the same school of thought.]


    • Way back when, a college friend walked up to one of the most lovely and desirable women on campus and pointed out that she had a very faint but distinct mustache.

      At the time, and for the thirty-six years that followed, I’ve cursed him as an utter fool.

      Only now do I see how sound his instincts were. He was negging without even knowing what negging was.

      I’m retroactively in awe.


      • That’s closer to an insult, but if she was a 10, she probably never heard them. I’ve insulted 9s and 10s in the past accidentally, and the conversion to them showing strong interest is hilarious. Then again, all of my best negs were by accident to begin with.


      • Maybe I’m misunderstanding “negging” then. I thought the premise was to make “statements showing that you have no romantic/ sexual interest at all in the woman.” Got a few things to learn, I guess.


      • The key is that you have to calibrate EVERYTHING you communicate with a woman based on her market value — HER value of it, your value of it, and the real figure.

        Never neg a 4 or a 5 or their hamster (inner brain) will think you’re attracted to them or it will really hurt them (bad). A 9 or a 10 whose ego is in the stratosphere could use a strong neg (not an insult) to bring her down a notch or ten. A 6 can still use a light neg if she’s overgrasping her own sense of hotness, and a 7 or 8 tends to be the best target for a solid neg that appears to be a compliment because it tells them “This guy likes me, or does he?” and then their own inner brain brings them down beneath you in fear that their secret fear is visible to others.

        It’s about calibration, it’s about making sure that they look up to you versus you looking down at them, it’s about testing your own judgment over their hotness (when you find something to neg, you also show yourself that she’s not perfect), it’s about forcing them to qualify themselves to you versus you qualifying yourself to them.


      • What was the result of his “neg”? How did she react? I think most women, no matter how hot, would find that pretty offensive and immediately dismiss the guy as a rude prick.


    • on July 18, 2011 at 9:21 pm Gainsbourg69

      I agree with Rarfy. A neg is a pre-emptive snub. It’s designed to get a girl off her pedestal and make her curious as to why it is you don’t act like every other guy who kisses her ass. Having said that, If your girl can’t make that distinction by the time you’re in an LTR, then a soft neg won’t really fix that. Conclusion? Don’t kiss her ass to begin with and you don’t have to worry about negging her just to keep her on her toes.

      I grew up in a household where my dad was always in charge. To this day mom could be vacationing in Europe with the old man and when it gets to be around sixish she starts making arrangements for his dinner. Why is this? It’s because mom and dad made it very clear to eachother since the first day of their marriage that her job was to take care of the house and his job was to bring home the bacon. Lazyness was never tolerated as they understood that as a team each had to pull their own weight to make things work. Mom and Dad are about to clebrate their 40th wedding anniversary next september.

      Now compare this to all the pussies out there who change shitty diapers and bathe the kids while mom is on the phone with her friends or texting someone at the dinner table. No wonder the divorce rate is so astronomically high.


  19. I use negs on occassion in my marriage. Usually its in the form of gentle teasing or humorous, oddball compliments that hit on a certain insecurity she may have. For instance if a woman frets about her age, I’ll say something like now you’re 32…. AB’s right, it should seem like a compliment that leaves her wondering what you really meant by that. Women will dwell on these little things far more than men do, so men have to learn subtelty here that isn’t natural to most of us. You have to make that tendency to over analyze your words work for you. This falls under the gentle art of diplomacy.


    • You hit the nail on the head saying it’s a part of the gentle art of diplomacy.

      One thing that diplomats do well is bring the opposing country’s contacts to believing that they need the relationship with the diplomat’s country. Need, not want.

      A woman needs to be reminded that her man is above her in many ways, masculine ways. Women today have been tricked into thinking they can be just like men, when in reality their subconscious selves want to be more feminine, want a man to lead in many areas, and want to look up to and cherish and adore their man.

      By using a properly calibrated neg compliment, versus an outright insult, you’re actually taking care of one of her most important needs — you’re elevating yourself to becoming the confident, worry-free masculine man that she was missing for so many years. A beta is going to over-compliment a woman in so many ways that he’s SURE to compliment her about the areas that she hates about herself. Those compliments put the man below her when her inner brain says “What, he can’t see that I’m fat/old/depressed/poor/overeducated/etc?”

      A diplomat doesn’t kowtow to the other side, they elevate their side up by properly indirectly reminding the other side why the diplomat’s side is needed.


  20. 1/2 credit on this one Roissy, and while I am rarely a man of free details I will pass this along:

    **When you “neg”(direct their senses) you are in a very real and deep way forcing them to select certain feelings. This is the primary objective of the pickup portion. A girl dances wildly through the gamut of emotions she can experience desperately trying to find that echo in the chaos of her emotions. In essence, that echo is power and even deeper — certainty. For her child, for her, for her interest. It is a forceful act. This is why I always poke you for using power in the wrong context.

    ***After you capture their heart, they are completely vulnerable. They have surrendered. They follow your path now. You have to free them from your grasp of your “younger” self at the speed you get what you want, and they enjoy it. As you discard retired elements of yourself, they grow as well and both of you attempt to traverse the near invisible and rewarding line that is a relationship. Not convenient sex; but a partnership where new avenues of emotional and sexual satisfaction are discovered.

    Don’t tone it down. If your need to tone down your negs, you need to work on saying what makes a difference in the quality of her life. Not just compliments or sincere things; you aren’t raising her status, health, or class enough.


  21. Question about Evolutionary Psychology. Why didn’t men evolve to prefer big strapping women who could, for example, take down a black bear single-handedly and cook it up for dinner? Instead, men appear to prefer smaller, more frail type girls. At least based on which type of woman has the highest SMV these days. If we are (in the dark recesses of our Id) still living in a Stone Age tribal group wouldn’t a big beefy woman (who could pull a plow while holding 3 babies) be best suited to help our tribe survive?


    • on July 18, 2011 at 9:47 pm traditional girl

      High levels of estrogen halt bone growth. Have you ever noticed that shorter, more finely boned women are (on average) kinder, less competitive, and more feminine? Tall, muscular women with sturdy skeletons and jaws are more likely to have low levels of estrogen and high levels of testosterone.

      An article referencing the bone-growth-halting properties of estrogen:

      In any case, it seems to me that in our ancestral environment, a woman’s kindness, sexual loyalty, cooperative spirit and fertility would have been more important to her mate than her physical strength. She would have been too busy with pregnancies and infants to slaughter a bear.

      As an aside, as a heterosexual women, I greatly prefer small-boned, large-breasted women for friendship. They’re more likely to be loyal, sweet, and share my values. I try to avoid tall, large-jawed, small-breasted women. I always get the “I want to screw around, break up relationships and eat babies” vibe from them.


      • “Have you ever noticed that shorter, more finely boned women are (on average) kinder, less competitive, and more feminine? ”

        Yes. I’ve noticed that.


      • “and eat babies”



      • I also prefer feminine women for friendship, I can’t relate to unfeminine women any more – I probably never really could, I find them annoying and distasteful. I’ve also noticed that with becoming more feminine recently I also made my friends become feminine so I enjoy our friendship more then I did before.
        The more feminine a woman is (and I don’t mean only looks, but also behaviour), the more I like her. I really have an ability to befriend feminine women, while masculine seem to despise me/ behave aggressively towards me.


      • Looks like you are slowly becoming a lesbian.


      • Not likely. I’m too old for these things. I was talking about friendship btw.


  22. BTW, Ignoring chicks is the ultimate neg.


    • Only if you already outrank them. Most guys aren’t even on women’s radars, and they don’t notice you not noticing them. It’s only if you are extremely good looking and they are extremely good looking that a simple ignore will be a neg. In fact, for some really hot women, a hot guy not noticing them is downright insulting.


      • Even if you are a hot guy, ignoring them doesn’t really work as advertised. I should know, I’ve tried it most of my life. The 7+ girls still won’t approach or give any blatant IOI’s. In fact it seems they go out of their way to avoid IOIs, so I guess they are playing their version of aloof game. The 5s and 6s will approach you all the time.

        The trick is to master the subtle art of ignoring while paying attention. This is why the neg was invented – it gives you a way to actively approach and show interest, but then you withdraw that interest and put the ball back in her court. It’s active passivity. It’s so counterintuitive that it makes calibration difficult.


      • in short, it is like mimicking the behavior of a cat, and we all know how these bitches love cats


    • Well, it has a drawback, in the case you wanna get one for a tete-a-tete… she won’t know what hit her, literally.

      OTHO, if you go fishin’, it’s a prerequisite.

      So, it’s a balance between displaying some modicum of interest and ignoring, basically. Pull/push.


  23. Negging in a “relationship” has a purpose, but…
    it’s increasingly the relationship that needs modification to prevent its obsolescence.

    Long term ones are now socially unrealistic in the west.
    No matter the level of “romance”
    in our dicks.


    • “Forever” is for suckers, he/she who dies old and alone loses. Dump or get dumped. Cuckold or get cuckolded. ABC (always be cheatin’) or you’re roadkill.

      Like the song says “don’t feel so so all alone, I found someone of my own”… old-schoolin’ Free Movement from ’71, y’all:


  24. on July 18, 2011 at 8:21 pm Haughty Naughty

    I agree with AB. Every LTR I have ever had will tell me that what they really want is “…..a man”. I just had my latest LTR confide in me that she was glad when we first met I actually acted like a man, had my shit together, and didn’t just sit around playing fucking video games and watching online porn.

    If you are on the market for an LTR I have found it is best to leave the uber cocky asshole game at home and instead project an image of sternness, confidence, you are a man who leads, and is unwavering when it comes to decision making. This won’t get you a same night lay like the cocky asshole game will, but generate a different type of attraction whereby the woman starts to see herself with you long term instead of just another dent in your mattress.

    If I am on the market for an LTR, I usually wear a business suit, always make sure to issue directions and orders in a manner that exudes confidence, soften up the neg game a bit, work the kino a little slower, and DHV by hinting a lead a rather comfortable, stable life with a good amount of fun. This definitely slows down building attraction a bit, but I find it also builds a different type of attraction. I might not get a same night lay but usually by the second or third date she is dropping the panties.

    Also, once you start sleeping together make sure to fuck their brains out. I always make sure they cum, and cum hard and multiple times, the first few times we have sex. If you want to fuck with their minds some too (and you can pull it off) make them cum 3-5 times and you hold back your load just to roll over and call it a night. With a same night lay I generally don’t care what she gets out of the experience, but I have found if you are looking to build attraction that last longer, making her lose her fucking mind in bed is essential. It makes her think, “wow, this guy fucks me so good. I can see myself with him for a long time.”

    It is also essential around the 9-10 month mark to make them think you might be seeing someone else on the side. Just drop subtle hints like cancelling plans last minute, reducing the frequency you see each other, or leave the hint of a woman’s perfume on in your place. Don’t do anything obvious or it will have the reverse effect if she has something concrete which she can use to accuse you of straying. The goal here is to remind the woman that she despite the fact your relationship is about to hit a year, you are still a man with options. She will put in some extra effort, fuck you better, and pipe down with the shit test. I have found that deploying this properly can extend the good part of an LTR well into the second year if you so opt for it.


    • Best advice I ever heard. i have only ever picked up about and got laid the same night only about 7 times in my life(and I’am 40 years old)-and because Iam not a cocky alpha , my radius of influence in the pickup artiste market is very small. But i have certainly fucked the brains out of those that i had actually picked up ,and I have had them following me around like a stray dog-but ultimately that type of girl is no fun and is not LTR material, so most times I have let them go.


    • Thanks, HN.

      A few thoughts before I hit my second pot of coffee:

      actually acted like a man, had my shit together, and didn’t just sit around playing fucking video games and watching online porn.

      I tell every beta I know to wrap up their video game systems, put them in a box, and ignore them for a long while. I also generally recommend laying off the porn so that their desire level goes up — along with the short term testosterone boost from not getting off.

      I usually wear a business suit, always make sure to issue directions and orders in a manner that exudes confidence, soften up the neg game a bit, work the kino a little slower, and DHV by hinting a lead a rather comfortable, stable life with a good amount of fun. This definitely slows down building attraction a bit, but I find it also builds a different type of attraction.

      I’m the same way although sort of reversed. When I’m at one of my offices or store fronts, I’m rocking the wifebeater, shorts and flip flops because I really don’t give a fuck. Customers of mine appreciate it because I’m the top dog and my appearances are rare and I’m casual — my outfit is a casual neg against them and they love it and come back for more. I’d say 80% of my customer interactions are with women, too.

      Working kino is important, especially leadership kino (hand on her back while you push her through a bar or restaurant). Too many guys are kino unfriendly — including myself, actually.

      I might not get a same night lay but usually by the second or third date she is dropping the panties.

      I can’t even remember the first time I had a same night lay. My sex schedule has never been slow (rule: if I am not turning down women for sex, I don’t have enough women!), so getting a gal in the sack is nowhere near as important as figuring out what she can do for me, and what she actually needs of me. Both are things only I can judge, women have no clue what they want or need — their hamsters are battling their outer brain too much for clarity.

      Also, once you start sleeping together make sure to fuck their brains out. I always make sure they cum, and cum hard and multiple times, the first few times we have sex. If you want to fuck with their minds some too (and you can pull it off) make them cum 3-5 times and you hold back your load just to roll over and call it a night.

      The corollary to this is to also avoid getting off yourself every time — in ratio to how hot she actually is in her dating market. When I was sleeping with a solid 9 (retail catalog model), I only got off 1 out of 3 times. She was aghast at what the problem was. Even funnier, I was also sleeping with one of her friends (they both knew it) and the friend (a 6.5, 7 in makeup) said she never had a problem getting me off. Of course model-hamster kept pushing: “Am I getting fat? Am I too old for you? (26) Is there something you prefer doing?” It was endless.

      I’m pretty aggressive about admitting that I don’t give a shit about a woman’s orgasm — and I really don’t. Most women love sex for the power it gives them over men. The man’s orgasm is an act of winning for a lot of women’s hamsters. The man working hard for the woman’s orgasm is also an act of control. If she wants to come, she’s welcome to open herself to it, but I don’t go out of my way to make sure she does. That being said, I do like to fuck like a demon because I can and it’s fun to.

      It is also essential around the 9-10 month mark to make them think you might be seeing someone else on the side. Just drop subtle hints like cancelling plans last minute, reducing the frequency you see each other, or leave the hint of a woman’s perfume on in your place.

      Since I’m permanently non-monogamous, this is pretty much my standard anyway, but I also like the hamster banter that goes on when a few different women all get into the Facebook comment war on something I write. It’s pretty Hello Kitty adorable when they do that.

      A monogamous man must still openly keep his woman in a little bit of fear. You can neg a gal by making it a habit to lightly flirt with women who have a better aspect about them that is specific to what your woman doesn’t like about herself — the target doesn’t have to be hot, but maybe have a smaller nose, better hair, skinnier, shorter, whatever.

      The women I date are captivated that I have options, although I don’t ever put it in their face. I let them create their own fear fantasies in their head, and my small pack of hot orbiters that I don’t sleep with definitely helps there. I’ve lost my taste for dating or sleeping with hot women, they’re just too self-involved, and I have to break them early and then re-break them after every beta orbiter pushes them back up into the ego stratosphere. So hot women are perfect tools to keep the less hot women I do date in line. The options aren’t just “possible” — they’re evident.

      Good response, HN.


      • “(hand on her back while you push her through a bar or restaurant). ”

        THIS RIGHT HERE. I’ll never forget the b/f who use to do this. I loved it! But he would place his hand on the small of my back and push me through.


      • That’s all my dad’s doing — he did it with my mom, he does it with his current wife (30 years his junior), he does it with my little sister. I’ve never been one to grab a gal’s hand and pull her through anything, I’ve always been a hand-on-back guy and it’s had shining moments.


      • “I’m pretty aggressive about admitting that I don’t give a shit about a woman’s orgasm — and I really don’t.”

        You’re smart. Obsessing about woman’s pleasure is so beta. If a man cared about my pleasure too much I would find it repulsive.


      • It’s not even an alpha or beta thing for me, I just don’t see the point of looking out for something that can be outside of my grasp and ruin the moment for me if I try too hard at anything. I’ve been with non-orgasmic girls who have had one or two penetration orgasms over years with me, and I’ve been with polyorgasmic women who actually get off just by giving me head with no manual stimulation — it’s all in whether or not the woman wants to get off, and in some rare cases it may be a physical issue for those rare few. From the first moment I meet a dame, I tell her that I put my needs first and she chase what she needs from me or from the next guy over. It’s not like there aren’t 1000 more just like her within a 6 block radius of where I meet her — it takes months for me to truly see the differences, and I’m not investing months in something that wasn’t high chemistry all the way through.

        If the woman’s chemistry towards me is skyrocketing from the get-go, she’ll find it easier to get off from wanting it herself. I don’t have to do a single thing, really.


      • I’m with you on the chemistry thing. It’s my top priority. In life.


        If the girl is not yet worthy of the investment to grow and ripen her sexuality, it’s acceptable to let her know you will fuck around, and fuck around, and then see what develops.

        That way you don’t lack for getting your full needs met while she is going through her growth stages.

        And some girls can go through some remarkable sexual changes.


      • Dada,

        The content of all of your posts is super-solid and your observations are superb but they feel devout of any loving feeling. It feels like your heart is closed shut.

        As for negs – the kind you mentioned are not even really negs in my classification. Giving a complement on the part you know a woman is concerned with tells her that you are aware of how that part is and that you “approve”. This combo ties a woman closer and tighter to you.

        I also notice that I don’t have to flirt with other women who better my woman in some areas on purpose. It happens automatically as I am aware of where my woman can’t fill me with energy I need and I satisfy it through other women (non-sexually). It almost seems that after an intermediate point in game mastery, there is nothing else to “learn” – only to let my natural impulses come through without much concern for their impact.

        To add: great point about the effect of having hot orbiters. That is gold.


      • Sasha: I can see where the public mask I wear on forums and blogs can be taken the wrong way. To state clearly: I absolutely adore the women in my life right now — if I didn’t actually cherish what they bring to my life, I wouldn’t be with them. But that adoration ends up being for my own pleasure — I also don’t show people online how much I appreciate my mechanic (almost to the point of love) or my favorite bartender.

        I’m a firm believer in relationship economics, be it client-supplier, brother-brother, girlfriend-boyfriend or platonic friendships: we both seek a mutual profit from the bartering of our time and services traded with each other.

        My profits, be it in business or sex or emotional intimacy or family matters or platonic relationships, are private. I won’t tell you what any of my businesses makes me in terms of financial profit (I’m happy), and I don’t need to “share the love” about my intimate relationships (I’m happy).

        My heart is definitely not closed shut. I, more than anyone here probably, will remind guys of Roissy’s 2/3 rule regarding showing affection — and I follow it very closely without prior thought. But that affection is for her to reap the benefits of, and I get paid back for that investment over and over. The issue is, my adoration for a lady doesn’t come from manipulative words but from knowing what she needs deep down inside. All women that I see need the same basic thing: a man who leads, doesn’t ask stupid questions or say words he doesn’t mean.

        It’s not hard to keep hot female orbiters, but it’s difficult finding them and properly timing the LJBF statement. Too soon and they bail, too late and they do it first. You need to time it just as she’s questioning whether or not you’re chase-worthy: that’s when you drop the bomb and re-calibrate the relationship towards your rules and needs from her.


      • No bitch is worth giving up video games for.


  25. Behold, the true nature of American Women:


    • That bad man! He made her do that! (And they wonder why men think very little of women today.)


      • Absolutely, what mindless curs. i mean when you see the woman, she looks psycho, and I would divorced her in a jiffy by repeating talaat, talaat, talaat(this is the islamic way- you say that 3 times, and bingo you and that psycho are divorced!)


      • on July 19, 2011 at 1:06 pm driveallnight

        That’s no woman, that’s a ladyboy. And I bet a dollar “she” hails from SE Asia.


    • on July 18, 2011 at 10:35 pm traditional girl

      As you listen, imagine the women sitting at the table are men and swap “husband” and “wife”, “penis” and “vulva” in the dialogue.

      Horrified for our daughters much? This is exactly how horrified we should feel for our sons. (And then, again, by extension, for our daughters, too, and all the happy families they won’t be able to have, as our sons are left too shamed and broken…)


    • Ladies ladies we have got to do better!! I don’t find this funny at all. Especially when there are women in Africa who are mutilated and have thier clitorises cut off. Not funny. Women need to understand even though we’re in the weaker position, we should still maintain some respect for men b/c they are our better halves. Like Traditional Girl said, If this were a man cutting off his wife’s clitoris, i highly doubt this would be the reaction.


      • How are you in the weaker position?


      • Meaning we live in a patriarchial society where men dominate. Some women feel like b/c men are the dominante ones, that we can afford to take jabs at them without consequences b/c we’re “not in control” or power. Does that make sense?


      • on July 19, 2011 at 1:09 pm driveallnight

        Exactly. “The game is rigged against us, so anything we say/do can’t be held against us!”


      • on July 19, 2011 at 5:43 pm Good Luck Chuck

        Try again.

        If we lived in a patriarchal society these bitches wouldn’t be sitting there on national television cackling over one of their sisters inflicting bodily harm on an innocent man.


    • on July 19, 2011 at 12:11 am Good Luck Chuck

      Chris Brown gives Rihanna a shiner and they call for a public lynching; some bitch drugs her husband, ties him up, and cuts his wiener off and it’s a big joke.



    • on July 19, 2011 at 10:20 am John Norman Howard

      What planet did I land on, that the likes of a Sharon Osbourne is tolerated to speak in any form of mass media?


      • One woman tries to put them back on track by playing role-reversal, and gets shut down by that harpie. Crazy bitch.


    • This is the type of shit women can get away with. Just like how a beautiful woman can get guys to buy her drinks at the bar all night long.
      I salute the woman who brought up the gender reversal and claimed this wasn’t funny.

      The 50 year old fatty with her hair dyed red (That’s not Sharon Osbourne, is it?) = I can only guess she joked about it because she’s never had a suitor in her life. So she can tease the penis to make herself feel better about the lack of dick. Short hair = increased ugliness.


  26. “I am a woman in love
    And I’d do anything
    To get you into my world
    And hold you within
    It’s a right I defend
    Over and over again
    What do I do?”

    Ya a women in love is a whole different ball of wax…


  27. If Lorena Bobbit had been found in a dumpster with her throat cut – courtesy of John Waynes family – I rather doubt this latest mutilation would have occurred.


    • I can’t understand why they don’t get found that way. I mean really? It would be all I could think of if it took 15 years to let the heat die and let the world forget, it would happen. Trust me.


  28. This is a very important post for anyone learning game. There’s so much bluster and bravado on this blog, but the reality is that over-gaming will not get you laid.

    The neg works because it’s disarming and establishes your aloof alpha cred. But at some point, a guy has to be real and demonstrate that he is accessible and desirable not simply some peacocking empty shell.

    Finding that balance takes will-power and also social acumen.

    Most relevant passage:

    “”An LTR gives you a larger margin of beta error, at the cost of insidious complacency. You can be more beta with a woman who loves you, but the downside is that you will be less likely to notice when you have reversed the sexual polarity and her feelings begin to assume a darker cast. A WIL won’t have a sudden conversion to lovelessness. What will happen instead is that your betafication will annoy her once a month, then once a week, then once a day, and finally every second she is with you.””

    This is where newbies learning game and angry betas miss the subtleties of game. Once a chick is invested somehow or intrigued she won’t suddenly disappear, but it requires reading every situation correctly.

    One thing is for certain. Women like to think out-loud.

    They say things they’re thinking and not reacting to them is an art.


    • That’s very true, about women thinking out loud.

      Something I learned at a young age: flirtation (including negging) should come off instantaneously and off the cuff, whereas non-flirtation comments (when needed) should come after a distinct and noticeable pause while your eyes are locked with a woman.

      That pause gets their hamsters going just as much as the instant neg does. When a man pauses and is curiously looking at his prize in front of him, the attraction from her to him is very visible.

      I’d love to be a fly on the wall to see how most guys pull of a solid neg or a solid deep comment — what is their body language, how is their eye contact, do they waver or show any micro-expressions? I think most guys probably can do a fine neg, but probably blow it due to non-verbal communication that women are VERY good at picking up subconsciously.


      • Indeed, the fact that they can pick up non-verbal cues is key to why beta “game” doesn’t work. Being a nice guy to a girl you actually want to fuck comes across as creepy to them. They can tell you want to fuck them; might as well admit it.


  29. on July 19, 2011 at 2:49 am unlearning genius ...

    All this over-analysis is worthless! This is a very disturbing trend.

    The forefathers and their skulls and bones that we have so assiduously preserved cry out to us all in silence and in need of (want of?) some degree of comfort and assurance that theirs was not a struggle in vain and such assiduous alterations of the main elements will not go unnoticed and this is why it is of importance for us to answer these questions in deep and fathomable ways. Of all such ways and mysterious wants and needs of the world we have to pay heed to the amount of damage that will be done to the discovered races and the cacophony of the media will need a voice and then it will speak to you in a shrill loudness and all of this pain and suffering and such will have been worth it.


    • This is good shit. You used a whole paragraph to say essentially nothing. Better than chomskybot!

      Are you considering going into politics?


  30. on July 19, 2011 at 2:51 am unlearning genius ...

    or not .. i am not sure anymore.


  31. Roissy, how Athol Kay of you.


  32. This is gold, Roissy, I thought that the cocky alpha game has to be maintained throughout the relationship or the girl will be having someone(or 2) on the side. Keep up the good work, this gives me hope because Iam a natural beta, and therefore I now know i dont have to maintain a strong alpha profile throughout the relationship, apart from fornicating her brains out.


  33. I hope this helps: This blog is very true. I have spent several years in this one man’s rotation. I am head over heels for him and do as much as time allows, but now after three years and the constant negs. I would like to hear that I am pretty, or even awesome every once in a while and a little bit of confirmation that he cares. I will admit to doing things and getting out of hand and crazy as he calls it, just to get him to notice me. It makes him very angry and doesn’t help with the relationship we/or I tried to build and reverts us back to day one. I have asked for him to compliment me every once in a while and let me know I am important to him, but he just says go somewhere else for your confirmations. Its gotten to the point I can’t figure out if I am too skinny, or too fat, or not pretty enough, maybe too old, or maybe he just thinks I’m dumb and can’t hold a conversation, which makes me think i am no good. No matter, it’s Negs gone badly. I totally agree that after a bit of time has gone by that even a few compliments will make things that much better, and she will do that much more for you because she will feel much stronger and feel excepted. As far as Negs keep them going for as many years and your relationship continues, it keeps it exciting plus you don’t want her gaining weight and getting ugly on you, but only if you are going to balance them out with some positives too. Just a little story


  34. finger’s breath

    So she turned away from me because I came off too desperately?

    yes. desperation dries up women’s vaginas.

    Then why is she acting like she wants nothing to do with me (deleting me from Facebook)?

    because she doesn’t want you in her life any more.

    I showed I really do care by crying in front of her. It doesn’t make sense.

    crying in front of a woman to show her you care only ‘makes sense’ in the movies and on lifetime original programming.

    in reality, crying to get her back is probably the worst thing you can do. if you feel bad about losing her, cry at home alone into a bottle if you need to, but never cry for her in front of her.

    Also, how do you know if an ex is indifferent or angry?

    when she’s angry at you, she’ll want to express that anger. maybe write you an angry email or text, key your car, or write shit on your facepage.

    when she’s indifferent, you won’t hear from her. she no longer cares about you and no longer wants to communicate with you.

    how long has it been? if it’s been more than, say, three weeks and you haven’t heard a peep from her, it is over.


    • on July 20, 2011 at 2:17 pm Finger's Breath

      I’ve actually had the opposite happen with exes. A past ex kept me acted like her standard friendly self the two times I bumped into her post-breakup. Plus I’m still on her facebook. So how can you truly define the line between anger and indifference? Wouldn’t it all come down to how passive or how direct she is in her actions?


    • on July 21, 2011 at 6:02 pm Finger's Breath

      Oh and how is deleting me from her Facebook not an expression of that anger?


  35. Is it possible to become so omega that you become alpha?


    • In the case of this boy, yes, Alpha insane LOL

      “In addition to my sight, I can identify nearly 5000 different colors [4913 to be a bit more accurate…”

      Rofl, great read !


  36. This just in:
    Approaching someone stimulates their arousal/danger brain areas.


  37. seems like a guessing game?

    there are metrics to see if she loves you still.

    1. BJE-blow job enthusiaism. Swallow and smile with cum on her chin… yes, she is in love. Did this without asking? madly so.
    2. 3SI- threesome initiation… young women use this as a way to show how much they like you. Like a cat bringing home a dead mouse. She brings a girl home for you to her master.
    3. HMP- home made porn
    4. SPW- sex per week: >9 she is in love, 6-8 borderline, 3-4, somewhat, 1-2 she views you as beta.
    5. LOR- Loss of ranking.. Has she gone from a 9 to a 7? she is bored. Has she jumped back to a 9? she is looking for other guys
    6. OMI- other man interest. Any interest in other men signals that she no longer loves you.. emails, flirting, talking about them.


  38. If anyone has ever watched Everybody Loves Raymond, some of the best LTR negs have come from Ray’s curmudgeon father, Frank Barone, on his wife Marie. A few favorites (not that I’d recommend using all of them, but they are funny):

    Marie: Fine! You got it out of me. Your father and I… succumbed to temptation before we got married. I fell for your father’s boyish good looks. But, it didn’t matter. We were in love. Right, Frank?
    Frank: I wanted sex.

    Marie: What we do in our bedroom is our business, and I would prefer not to be known as the whore of Lynbrook!
    Frank: We can move from Lynbrook.

    Ray: Come on Dad. Again, with the metal detector? What are you doing?
    Frank: Your mother’s birthday’s coming up.

    (Frank’s buddy complimenting Marie)
    Harry: Wow, Mrs. Barone, you’re a sight for sore eyes.
    Frank: And mine are pretty sore!

    Marie: We haven’t talked for 35 years!
    Frank: I didn’t want to interrupt.

    Ray: (to Debra) I regret not loving you more. I do. You deserve all the love that can fit in the ocean.
    Frank: (laughing) Oh man!
    Marie: I thought that was beautiful, Frank. Why can’t you say something like that?
    Frank: Alright… I’d love it if you were in the ocean.

    Marie: Well I think it’s sad when people start having surgery to make themselves bigger.
    Frank: Marie did it the natural way. Pound cake!

    Marie: I have my own opinions. I’m not just some trophy wife!
    Frank: You’re a trophy wife? What contest in hell did I win?


  39. on July 20, 2011 at 1:50 pm driveallnight

    This morning’s neg, to a cute personal trainer who recently changed her hairstyle:

    Me: “Hey, I’m really liking the new Bon Jovi hair.”

    Her: (laughing) “Whaaat?”

    Me: “No, seriously, it works.”

    Trainer + the chick she was training were both laughing when I left.




    • on July 21, 2011 at 10:21 pm Sociopathic Narcissist

      I would note that the same holds true in college. If you are attracted to a girl in one of your classes, your best bet is to either a) make friendly conversation, but in more of an offhand remark and then resuming your own business than an actual sustained dialogue kind of way; or b) just chill, be sociable (to everyone except her), and then wait for one of those “Hey, don’t I know you from [insert class here]?” scenarios to unfold either elsewhere on campus or in some related context (e.g., at a coffee shop nearby).

      Although option b might seem less direct and therefore more improbable, believe me when I tell you, having that 5% chance come to fruition after no risk or effort on your part is FAR preferable to the 0% chance regarding a bitch-shielded 7 or 8 in the classroom. Real life illustration: last semester, I got rejected trying to run game on an 8 in class, but, conversely, was actually approached–as in, she said “Don’t I know you?” to me–by a 9.5 at a coffee shop off campus.

      Granted, I fucked things up by remaining passive with the 9.5, but I literally did nothing to garner her attraction besides just being a social presence in class. Moreover, when a hot girl approaches you in a direct manner, the conversation flows so much more naturally than if you had needed to take the initiative. As so many of us know, it all comes down to confidence: if you feel like the girl genuinely wants to talk (indicated either by her starting the conversation or your inner confidence projected outward), then all of a sudden you are just brimming with things to ask and say. And I’m saying this as an avowed introvert.


  41. OFF TOPIC but I’ve got to relate a situation at my office right now. Because there is construction (road building) outside my complex, there are police officers around directing traffic pedestrians etc. Well, there is a hot woman police officer standing out in the blazing sun right now for safety purposes to make sure no pedestrians wander into the construction area. (Though it is all fenced off, so no danger to anyone unless they climb 6 ft to get over it!)

    She is certifed 7.5 (plus maybe extra percentage points for uniform fetish?) by myself, another male co-worker and a female co-worker (hetero, but did not know until now that she had a penchant for females in uniform, hmmm?)

    Anyways, to my question. Could one at least approach and get her number, considering:

    -she is on duty
    -in a public space
    -the police officer vs. member of the public status/power differential

    What are the probabilities here? Is this even possible?

    And to bring it back a little on topic, definitely no negs?


  42. So true. Don’t make negs too obvious. Women are on to you. If you do make a neg, it has to be a really funny and witty joke. It’s good to laugh at yourselves too.


  43. I used to worry about my negging, but seeing as I can no longer stand the worthless white whores North American women have become, I just use flat out insults and go home and fuck my Asian gf. White women aren’t worth the effort and level of game one needs to practice in order to bed the neurotic bitches. I’ve dated more white women than I care to count in my life and I’m done with them.


  44. Lol… “like baby bear’s pickup porridge”


  45. Just re-read this post following the comments the girl I’m going out with made recently.

    The cocky-funny/flirty teasing/indirect responses apparently get annoying.

    When she asks me how I’m spending my day and I tell her: I’m going to my Mongolian Folk Dancing class…then working in a soup kitchen….making beds at the shelter”…she went mental at some point recently claiming I never answer directly, I always hide things…

    I just kind of laughed but eventually found myself replying “I went to the gym…”

    After that she calmed down and I went back to my way of indirect responses.

    Some girls don’t quite get this and find it more annoying if it’s done constantly and without context.

    It’s a hard balance to find…trial and error….but after establishing the alpha cred, it’s easier to give direct responses? Still trying to figure this all out….


    • 1/3 rule.


    • on July 24, 2011 at 9:39 pm Finger's Breath

      Well, Roissy defines the alpha as the guy who sleeps with the most chicks. So I guess that means that once you get the bang, you don’t have to worry about cocky and funny anymore.

      One thing that bothers me about Roissy is how black and white his posts are.


    • Wala,

      If the girl is funny herself, she is more likely to enjoy your funny/teasy answers. if she’s a serious type…take your chances. It depends on the girl.

      Cadnerd….you’re such a pro!


      • What, my tuition was not cheap.

        The rule works, until he can contextualize better based on her mood and expectations. After some trial and error, he’d likely find out that statistically, it’s pretty close to the 1/3 rule, it just be more “smooth”.


      • You mean you’re smooth prof Cadnerd…hehe!!

        I found wala funny! I’m totally subjective, cause I’m not always serious myself. I was imagining his Mongolian folk dancing!! hahaha!!


      • Saw it as a kid. The MFD. The girls had these long robes. just half an inch above the floor, and they did these tiny steps, so it seemed that they hover. I simply couldn’t reconcile it with my notions of physics at the age 5.


      • Little physicist Cadnerd already hovering over girls’ shirts! hee! hee! Sure you were watching them DANCE! ha!


  46. A couple of good negs my prole boyfriend has mentioned that he uses (albeit doesn’t know to call them negs). Reserved for the hottest chick on location:

    “Wow, you’re like the third prettiest girl I’ve met in this town.”
    “If you were the last girl on earth, I’d totally fuck you.”

    Plus the fact that he brings these things up in causal conversation, causing me to wonder if/when he’s still doing it on occasion when he goes out, is a great hamster churner.

    I love how reading this blog teaches me about my own psyche. He still has to game me pretty hard, which must mean I fall under one or more categories of 1, 2, or… 2. Hmm.


  47. I’ve been with a solid 8 for 9 months now. She just revealed that she has had a change in her feelings for me. I worry that I used too much beta with her during the bubble period. I think she is a WIL but I’m not sure how to get back to a place where she lusts after me and I’m all she thinks about. Do I try a harsher form of negs or do I just distance myself? I clearly can’t overload her with more beta but I’m worried if I go too alpha the relationship will end. If so, so be it but I’d like to salvage this one if I can. She clearly doesn’t understand her own desires so I need some advice. Thanks in advance.


    • Seems you are asking for advice about how to put out a raging fire. Game is about constant management of the electricity and fires in your home. Once there is a flame-out, it may be out of hand.

      For day to day containment you want to constantly have a feeling – a bodily felt feeling – for the mood. Imagine that you are a movie projector walking around your house, and the girl is forever under the spell of your display. You are her mood. The house is your mood. At times where you want to go in for the hug, sometimes the mood dictates that you instead walk upstairs, so that she has a chance to miss you.

      You can’t just trust her to have a manly response to comfort – to revel in it. You must consider her a musical instrument that requires alternation of different genres of music in order to play any genre well. Or consider her a play list. You must invoke in her heavy metal, pop, sad songs, ballads. Twenty ballads in a row and they synapses no longer register positive emotion – a good mix tape mixes it up. Your girl is a mix tape and it is your duty to change up her emotions.

      You must cultivate a feeling for not just doing what you feel like doing – in order to make you feel good. You’ll learn to feel what the mood of the room requires.

      Imagine that you are a writer for a drama or comedy. There are structures to these entertainments. You need dramatic tension, resolution, feel good moments, moments of wit. You can’t just have one emotion the whole way through – no matter how interesting or positive. Your job is to find out your way of maintaining an interesing and overall positive mood – and that will require change ups.

      But now that you have a fire in your house, the change up required is for you to do more heavy push and pull. Drama up the place – on your terms. You may even need outright brinksmanship. Complain about her. Get her jealous of you too. Fight and make up sex, or any variation of that. Show her why she is into you, and make her feel dread at the thought of losing that.

      If brinksmanship doesn’t work, it’s too late anyway, so don’t fear putting things right up and past the edge.