The Fake Drink Opener

A reader asks into the ether whether the following opening gambit is good enough to use regularly.

I saw on a buddy of mine’s facebook status a while ago “lol at girls who thought I bought them shots of vodka when it was actually water”. Apparently he “bought” some hot girls at a bar shots of water that they assumed was vodka. He said after doing the shots, they sort of half laughed and gave him the finger and he left pretty much after doing that because he had other places to go. Now I’m pretty sure this guy’s a natural (black, over 6 ft, does tango or some crap, and can probably bench press a car) so I doubt he even cared about their opinion of him and did it for his own amusement since he probably gets laid like a rockstar. I wasn’t there to see the girls’ reaction, so I was wondering if this would be a good opener? Completely unusable dick move? What do you think about it?

On paper, (and apparently in real life if this guy’s story about his friend is accurately retold), the fake drink opener seems like it would work very well, especially on hot girls with bitch shields in bars and clubs who will be expecting free drinks from suckers. Some of the best cocky teasing is the kind where you fool a girl into thinking you will meet her expectations of betatude, and then you pull the rug out from under her. She is left reeling in the warm juices of her arousal.

But in practice, I’m not sure this would be easy to pull off. Fake drinks have to be delivered in the same glasses that would hold real liquor for the trick to work. If you ask the bartender for a round of water shots (when the girl is far enough away from you that she can’t hear your order), the bartender will likely serve you the water in tall soda glasses, usually with a straw for added humiliation. Then the girl will know it’s not a vodka shot by the shape of the glass.

But that might be hair splitting. I’m sure you could get around that if you know the bartender and he’s happy to be in on your ruse. Or you could keep used shot glasses and fill them up with water, to hand out to any unsuspecting princess.

Regardless of the utility of this opener, props go to the reader for having the right frame of mind. That is half the battle in your quest for cheap sex.





Comments


  1. Try hard in my opinion.

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  2. I like it.

    If you try this on a bartender, and don’t tip him after, don’t expect to get served again.

    But if do the classy thing and reward him for his time, it’s win-win. Both of you get a laugh, he gets a fat tip at the bar owner’s expense (since they’d rather he get tipped while making them money too), and you get to throw some girls for a basement-flooding loop.

    End game is for you to get a rep among the bartenders at your post as the funny guy who gets girls shots of water and laughs at them, while tipping well. Maybe the bartender even knows what you mean when you order ten of your “favourite shots.”

    Cheers,

    Frost

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  3. Roissy I have done a variation on this opener, but mine doesn’t involve the bartender. It also requires one of the women to be creative, which for women isn’t always rare. I say only one, because it only takes one to be cool and the rest will follow.

    I bought three women “shots” but I “mimed” the entire process. I went to the table and asked the girls if they would like shots, they said, “of course,” and then I mimed pouring them three shots, and a tall glass for myself. Then we all mimed drinking it while they laughed wide eyed.

    Then I said something like, “Now you bitches owe me sex,” and sat down.

    It hooked!

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  4. When I worked as a bartender I used to do that when chicks were begging for drinks too much. Some chicks are so drunk it takes them like 30 seconds before they get it.

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  5. Yeah, openers suck. Just say hi and be yourself.
    /sarcasm off.

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  6. Once, I was at a restaurant with a group of guys. Some girls they knew sat down at a table behind us, and we sent over a round of drinks, specifically, Shirley Temples (a non-alcoholic drink consumed mostly by kids). They responded by ordering us some very strong whiskey. This wasn’t really a pick-up situation, but it seems like a pretty effective opener. It probably works better if you at least know the girl slightly beforehand, because it seems less weird. An unapologetically non-alcoholic drink like a Shirley Temple, rather than to order a shot of water. The first is a clear, playful neg, the latter just seems kind of odd.

    Also, later in your post you probably underestimate the effect of male obesity on *casual* sex. Yes, if you marry a guy and he gets fat, it’s easy to say you’d stick with him. But if you meet a guy at a bar with 50 other guys and he’s fat, it’s a whole lot easier to overlook him. Being in shape can be a huge advantage for a man if he’s just looking to get lucky, particularly with younger women. Not that fat men can’t get laid, but I’d rather to start at my opponent’s 15 yard line than at my own.

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    • Good point- Game is extremely important, but some girls might screen out fat men, especially in a night club.

      It’s not so much that being fit helps you get girls as that being unfit might knock you out of the competition for some girls.

      That being said, your Game level is more important than your appearance. You see bombshells with plain men all the time.

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      • Even if it takes you out of the running either immediately or in the future it doesn’t hurt to be friendly with hot chicks even if they don’t wanna fuck you. it’s not as though their presence if totally awful if you’re not fucking you and if you’re seen NOT acting like a BETA even though they dont want to fuck you, you look better in the eyes of strangers. Not as good as being fit, but in the hypothetical sintuation in which you are fat and cant fuck these hot girls, being fat and acting like you dont give a shit and teasing them is better than nothing.

        However, hit the fucking gym.

        P.S. The Tao of Steve makes a good point when he mentions NOT thinking about fucking the girls you’re talking to. This is especially good if you’re the fatso I’m talking about who would ruin his chances forever if she thought he desperately wanted to fuck her. Just enjoy their company, fatty and then hit the gym.

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      • For a guy, looks with no game will only get you so far unless you’re under 25 and dating women in that age group where looks alone can work for you.

        A guy with average to below average looks needs game and more, be it social proof, status, money, charm or a combination of these.

        You seldom see an “average” looking guy with a HB8+ and chances are the guys you do see with HB8+’s have alot going for them in these other areas.

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      • The other areas add up. Psychosocial skills are only one aspect of game. Game is every attraction trigger you can, or can’t push. Going to the gym, grooming and fashion, your location choice, your occupation choice, your finances – nothing that has an effect is not game.

        Imagine being given the task of hacking a computer to gain access to financial data. It doesn’t matter if you do it by social engineering, installing a keylogger, sniffing the airwaves for crt emissions, installing hardware, or by getting root administration rights through re-coding the operating system. Game isn’t HOW you get the job done. It’s getting the job done.

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      • The other areas add up. Social skills are only one aspect of game. Game is every attraction trigger you can, or can’t push. Going to the gym, grooming and fashion, your location choice, your occupation choice, your finances – nothing that has an effect is not game.

        Imagine being given the task of hacking a computer to gain access to financial data. It doesn’t matter if you do it by social engineering, installing a keylogger, sniffing the airwaves for crt emissions, installing hardware, or by getting root administration rights through re-coding the operating system. Game isn’t HOW you get the job done. It’s getting the job done.

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      • Well said.

        Subcommunication is a massive component of game and acts to DHV you without even having to open your mouth to say anything.

        Your hairstyle.
        Facial Hair.
        Build – physique.
        Height.
        Posture.
        Your clothes.

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      • Men are lucky in that they can overcome massive deficits in some areas, as long as they can overcome them in others.

        Women, on the other hand, are either hot or not – based on looks.

        A man can be short, balding, old, poor, and of below average looks and still somehow manage to get pretty young girls to fall in love with him – if he can manage to make up for these deficits with enough positives in other areas, including travel to locations or niche markets where his strengths are valued or hitting up girls who are groupies for his particular skill. And we can extend our sexual market shelf life way past what women can.

        A hot young girl is a skeleton key to all men, but a guy who knows the system can be key to a niche selection of acceptable locks.

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    • One problem with fat is that it makes your features much rounder and softer. I’m lucky on the bone structure and whenever I’m in good shape I look mean and edgy but that just doesn’t happen if I put on any weight as the fat on the face will erase the sexy bone features and replace them with a generic pudgy averageness.

      The difference is immense. Whenever I’m really low on fat, any woman is mine to lose – I know I’m going to get smiles and giggles at the approach even if I eventually get rejected. I dress like a hobo and women will approach me on side alleys when they’re alone in the middle of the night. “Wanna fuck?” was the only line I needed when I was young and fit.

      If I put on any weight it all changes. I only need a bit of weight and I become one of the boring looking guys who have to pummel through walls of bitchiness if I approach like that. What gets women most easily interested in a one night stand is edgy, masculine looks and they’re just not there at all if you’re at all fat or even average.

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  7. I think that at least it works better as an opener than as a playful tease in the middle of the pickup. If you do it in the mid convo, it will seem childish rather than assholish.

    It’s a decent opener as far as i’m concerned.

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  8. on August 23, 2011 at 6:36 pm Artful Dodger

    “The water’s on me.”

    That always gets ’em to smile.

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  9. What?!! I mean hahaha and all…

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  10. I tried this years ago with a girl I liked in university. It was a house party not a bar and I poured vodka shots that were actually water.

    She laughed.

    Then later I came around and poured another round…of waters…

    She played along.

    The third time it was real vodka. She was into it.

    I think this works better at a house party and for university girls.

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  11. speaking of fake drinks friend of mine, who’s not into game at all, came up with this opener just to make a joke, but i really want to try it as it might actually be really good in the right context, and with the right delivery.

    you: what are you drinking?
    girl: [whatever]
    you: oh, well I’m drinking pee pee. want a sip?

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  12. Saigon tea… in all its glory, only reversed.

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  13. It’s beta to buy any drinks for a girl you’ve just met.

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  14. classic “beta-switch”… well played, this’ll be easier to pull off if you’re friends with your server- this will double as social proof if it’s apparent they were in on the joke as well.

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  15. My favorite wingman move is, when I see a friend starting to get friendly with a woman, I’ll buy them one drink . . . with two of those little drink straws. Gets them nose-to-nose, eye-to-eye, in no time.

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  16. This idea is not so much wrong as a concept as it is overly labor-intensive in practice. I mean, there are easier ways to let a woman know you are not there to beg for a go at her golden pussy.
    Opening and flirting with her friend(s) does not require any walking and carrying of glasses.
    One part of being free is knowing that, “If it is not worth doing; it is not worth doing well.”

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  17. What, people still go to bars trying to get laid?

    Sweet. Ya’ll stay there. The most possible male competition, having to yell to talk, and a bunch of skanks with bad attitudes and minuscule attention spans.

    I’ll be at the mall where your girlfriends are spending your money, without you there. Chat, get their numbers, and then take them places with no competition and sky high booty value: http://two.cedonulli.com/2011/08/tigers-in-bushes/

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  18. why all the name changes on the blog? this is now the third title of the blog. just curious.

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  19. Not sure if this has already been said, but just specify that you want it in shot glasses and tip well.

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  20. […] blogger formerly known as Roissy posted this today: A reader asks into the ether whether the following opening gambit is good enough to use […]

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  21. As long as you have a good response to the shit test that is sure to follow, I can see this working well.

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  22. lol. That is hilarious. I want to see this one in action.

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  23. I used to order shots of milk for bitches across the bar – same idea.

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  24. I tried this once (not shots, just “a round of waters”) and the bartender was a huge dick to me. Unless you befriend him first, it’ll seem like a waste of his time. I like the move, though. An old college roommate had learned it from other friends back in jersey, kept being passed on.

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  25. Don’t even fool around with the trickery, just say, “Can’t I get you a drink?”
    “Yes.”
    “Barkeep, this young lady will have a refreshing ice water on me!”

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  26. I’ve done a variant of this but not for the one you’re specifically after.

    My twist is when there is a person who is a persistent problem (cock block, competition, etc). Someone who doesn’t elicit sympathy, who pretty much everyone can do without. Buy a round of shots for “the group” (recruit participants if need be). The pain in the ass gets the real shot and everyone else gets water, cola, whatever. Combos like tequila/water, jager/coke, etc. The nastier the real shot the better. It’s makes an ass out of the victim. The girls you’re interested in are “in” on the joke but curiously wonder how big of a dick you actually are.

    I’ve done it a only a couple of times. I shamed one loud mouth into doing “shots” until they puked. The girls loved it laughing the whole time.

    As long as you tip the bartenders very well and work them a little they go along with it so far.

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  27. I’m definitely guilty of this. It’s amusing, and I receive nothing but a playful hit in return. No, this is not a pickup move. It’s actually anti-pickup (done in response to girl who says “so buy me a drink!”)

    My buddy’s move was to ask girls what they’re drinking and walk away as they tell the bartender. Dick move.

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  28. Ha! I actually had a friend of mine do this back in the eighties. His name was Burt; an East Indian, fat, and drove a Hyundai Pony.

    It worked like a frickin’ charm!

    Sure, lots of girls gave him the finger. (I was sitting with him a few times when he pulled this), but he eyed up keenly the girls who didn’t get pissed and laughed, or sent him back some kind of witty reply. Those were the girls who he moved in on. For a fat East Indian named Burt, who took his girls home in a Hyundai Pony, this worked quite well!

    It might be a little chumpish, but at least he didn’t waste gobs of money buying chicks expensive drinks.

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    • Location, selection, escalation. You can be weak in some areas, such as approach and building attraction, if you are strong in others.

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      • Lol! Yup, Burt would cold approach this way. When the waitress brought us our drinks, he would simply flip her a larger tip, and ask her to deliver “those girls over there” a couple of glasses of water. The waitresses often asked if he was sure he wanted to do that, but he always plowed forward.

        If they took it well, he would go over and start up some chit-chat, and usually buy them a real drink – but not always. But, he had broken the ice, given him an excuse to stop by their table and chat them up, and took things from there.

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      • I’d love a wingman/buddy like that to hang with. I wonder if the brazenness would be rub off on me.

        Sometimes I think certain personality traits in me can only wake up with the use of alcohol. That’s why I used to live life drunk. Two years sober now, and still no sign of that alternate persona that wakes up when I booze up.

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