Bristles

“Wow, I can’t believe I neglected to do this. Can I come inside and use your bathroom real quick? Yeah, I know, I should have gone at the bar.”

She cocked her head and a wisp of sandy blonde hair tumbled across her left cheek. She smiled.

“Of course, you can use my bathroom.”

“Just the bathroom, that’s all. I’m gonna hold you to that.”

She giggled. “Ok.”

Her place was smartly decorated. A geometric mobile acted as a partition between her bed and the room. She pointed to the bathroom and I closed the door. Lifting the toilet seat, I let my gaze relax on her patterned wallpaper. This pissing felt particularly pleasurable. I flushed and exited, walking to her studio apartment window.

“You have a good view of the students across the street. Are you an exhibitionist?”

“I don’t think so. Are you a voyeur?”

“Yes.” I walked into her personal space. She held her ground. “Who isn’t a voyeur?”

“Well, I’m not a pervert, but if that’s your thing, I won’t stop you.”

“If I want to be stopped, I’ll let you know.”

She parted her mouth as if about to formulate a reply, but fell short. I noticed her palms had opened and were facing my thighs.

“I really… like your place…” I leaned in and softly brushed my lips sideways across hers.

Her tongue escaped with a fury, pushing for the dark recesses of my mouth. I withdrew, pulled back, and examined her pupils. She became shy.

“Oh god, that makes me nervous.”

“What does?”

“You doing that. Looking at me and not saying anything.”

“Good. It’s hot when you’re nervous.”

Kissing resumed. I could taste a little of the artisanal beer on her tongue. She pressed into my face, and a whimper echoed in her throat. Something scratched my upper lip. I pulled back, then returned to her mouth. Still more scratching. Pulling back once more, I spot checked her upper lip. All clear. A visual inspection revealed nothing but soft skin. More kissing. More irritating scratching. Like a Brillo pad scrubbing my philtrum. Five minutes and a semi-chub later, I disengaged to allow my upper lip a moment of relief from the interminable stinging.

She opened her mouth for more, eyes half-lidded. I paused. Her eyes widened quizzically. Reluctantly, I rejoined the oral battle with her tongue, lips, and whatever phantom torment occupied the tender region between her upper lip and nose. The pain resumed, and I could no longer deny it; she had a hedgerow of invisible bristles above her mouth — scratching, scraping, scrubbing the epidermis from my face. I could not even fool myself these were soft female hairs; I was kissing 5 o’clock stubble. Once more, I stepped back and microscopically perused her face and mouth. I could see nothing. But the bristles were there, invisible and abrasive.

“You know, it sounds cliched, but I’m not that kind of girl.” Her red face and swaying hips belied her words.

“Hey, I’m trying to turn over a new leaf. I’m a different guy from the old me. I’m a gentleman now.”

“Oh… Ok.”

“I’ll give you a call.” One more kiss, this time with my mouth pursed defensively, and my fingers already deleting her number.

Outside, I passed a group of undergrad girls reveling in the 1AM street lamp glow. All tits and ass, bursting into existence. Their philtrums glistened, danced and swayed, and I wondered which of them held no secrets.





Comments


  1. The dreaded Stealth Trannie.

    Scary shit.

    Like


  2. Least you didn’t find out by getting a hand full of cock when you went for “her” crotch.

    [Editor: She was definitely a woman. I put my hand on her crotch — nothing but vagina. Kinda cute, too. 6.5. Who knows wtf was going on with her upper lip, but it killed my lust.]

    Like


  3. What took so long to bail? I woulda been outa there faster than lightning. Beyond wrong.

    Like


  4. write a novel, will ya.

    btw, that’s never happened to me before, and I’ve never heard of it. she had stubble, eh? but not visible to the naked eye. odd.

    still, you got a semi-chub. maybe just don’t kiss her. come up with an excuse so you can still get the bang.

    or just tough it out for a few dates. after a few bangs most times people just skip the kissing and go straight to the bang.

    Like


  5. You gotta admit, Tranny’s have a good grasp of gaming men. Expert liars.

    The same way a man might feel used if he were to be gamed by a tranny is probably kinda like what a woman might feel if she’s been gamed by a worthless cad.

    So this is Chateau Roissy’s official tyanny thread: any takers?

    Let’s say you get a new woman who is drop dead gorgeous, gives you a boner at sight, has the most amazing sex and blowjobs, and a great personality to top it off… but after 2 months, you discover some paperwork that she used to be a man, and her entire body has been the product of expert surgery.

    Would you still have sex with her? Keep her? Buy a new dick? Feel less of a man? Not give a shit?

    Like


  6. so you made out with cigstache’s cute cousin

    Like


  7. Asain trannies are the worst- they have the slight builds, fatty cheeks, and light voices of females; in a dark club, its almost enough to fool you.

    (I would imagine that their Asian’s naturally low T levels would give them soft skin as well.. thankfully I never had to find out the “hard” way)

    Like


  8. You kissed a girl with a moush moush. hahaha! Ooooh soooo fuuuunnyyyy!

    Like


  9. on September 18, 2010 at 8:34 pm gunslingergregi

    I was in the salon not so long ago and there was a very feminine looking quite pretty woman working there and I was checking it out.

    There was something there but yet umm yea gracefull and all that.

    Yea woman told me it was a fag.

    I’d prob still hit it.

    well ok prob not.

    he he he

    If it was born a man it wasn’t now.

    Like


  10. I figure that even the best-disguised tranny would still smell like a man. He may cover it with perfume but on a hormonal level you’d pick up on it and alarm bells would have gone off if you aren’t too drunk.

    Like


  11. The last time that happened to me was in college. A girl I started making out with had a bleached mustache. Yuck. The worst. Some ladies have more hair then others, but they gotta take care of that shit.

    Like


  12. on September 18, 2010 at 8:46 pm gunslingergregi

    Should have told her electrolosis is cheap now he he he

    Like


  13. If you knowingly kiss or shtupp a tranny, then you are not straight. You can gloss it any way you wish, but you’re still having relations with a man.

    Apart from the asians, though, convincing trannies are extremely rare. It’s impossible to get hands, adams apple, build, voice and walk to resemble a lady’s. So it’s not a likely risk.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that, as Jerry Seinfeld said.

    [Editor: Folks, read the post carefully. She wasn’t a tranny. Not even close. But she did have a weird bristle package on her upper lip. That’s all it takes to deflate a boner.]

    Like


  14. you made out with a homo??? Shit, bro, why can’t you get normal chicks? Hit the gym for extra 16lbs of muscle instead of trolling bars for trannies.

    Like


  15. “[Editor: Folks, read the post carefully. She wasn’t a tranny. Not even close. But she did have a weird bristle package on her upper lip. That’s all it takes to deflate a boner.]”

    I wasn’t referring to your post – just making a point about trannies in general, in answer to some of the earlier comments. Funny story though.

    “That’s all it takes to deflate a boner.]”

    Were the bristles really there? If you were both drinking, could have you have imagined it, because normally girly facial hair is visible.

    Like


  16. on September 18, 2010 at 9:17 pm gunslingergregi

    ”””””cap’n bob
    If you knowingly kiss or shtupp a tranny, then you are not straight. You can gloss it any way you wish, but you’re still having relations with a man.
    ””””

    In my defense I didn’t even chub it was more appreciating art he he he

    Like


  17. That’s the point I was making with the smell giveaway. Many normal girls have some amount of upper lip hair. The ones who touch it up with a razor develop the miscrostubble you felt.

    [Editor: Yeah, that had to be it. Instead of waxing like most women do, she shaved it off. Bad move.]

    Like


  18. STRONG HOMO

    Like


  19. “If you knowingly kiss or shtupp a tranny, then you are not straight.”

    Oh, and if you f–k a tranny or a dude by accident, there’s still a chance of being straight?

    Like


  20. “In my defense I didn’t even chub it was more appreciating art he he he”

    Guns, no disrespect meant: I was posting in answer to Samseau’s question – if you realise a woman is a tranny, then dating her is a distinctly different thing to dating a woman.

    Fair point about “appreciating art”. A convincing tranny is an impressive achievement of surgery, and false advertising.

    Like


  21. Weird….

    Some girls have a striking amount of visible hair on their face in the right light. It’s normally soft though, in my experience.

    I’ve heard stories of some women who have a weird hormonal imbalance leading to a lot of grizzly, hard-to-the-touch facial hair. One story I read involved a woman who battled with it all her life, and one time got punched in the face by a guy who thought he’d been tricked by a tranny.
    Poor woman.

    Like


  22. “You know, it sounds cliched, but I’m not that kind of girl.”

    Right. Now go wash my dishes. Make my bed. Clean my room. Suck my dick.

    Like


  23. “Fair point about “appreciating art”. A convincing tranny is an impressive achievement…”

    More homos. I don’t mind though. In fact, I wish you all wore fuzzy hats and sucked on meat popsicles – more chix for me.

    Like


  24. Dallaspua:

    Don’t know how someone could manage that feat by accident – but if they did, through epic stupidity or drunkenness – then in fairness, they’re still normal.

    Anyway, moral of story is that to give any lady a good “physical” check before any fornication or heavy makeout commences.

    Like


  25. Dude, you make out with a tranny. Unless you slipped your fingers inside her, there’s no way to tell if she’s not tucking.

    It happens to every player in a major metro area.

    There’s no shame in it.

    [Editor: In fact, as I was kissing her I had my hands under her panties. 100% true vagina.]

    Like


  26. Apart from the asians, though, convincing trannies are extremely rare

    Come to San Francisco. You *will* get caught. Then you’ll be on sites learning how to spot a tranny. It’s much harder than you think. An Adam’s apple can be shaved off.

    You have to go by the feet and hands. If them seem large, then step back.

    Sometimes this means passing up taller, hot chicks. Or are they chicks?

    Seriously, come to S.F. and sarge with an experienced local. Scary business.

    [Editor: The thing about tall chicks is true. They tend to have larger hands than shorter girls. You could always examine the digit ratio, but that’s not 100% foolproof either. Just stick with feminine looking girls and you’ll be alright.]

    Like


  27. on September 18, 2010 at 9:43 pm gunslingergregi

    dallaspua

    no homo

    no homo

    I am around homo’s but they don’t bother me.

    I don’t feel tested he he he

    Would you?

    It does seem like in a homo inclined family the woman in that family tend to be freaking beautiful.

    The three marriages that I have seen I have considered the guys getting the woman from my womans side of things pretty fucking lucky. Like extremely fucking lucky. Like what you would think bill gates should get lucky.

    Ok done with qualifying he he he

    In the future though I will prob also get “lucky” he he he

    Planned luck though.

    Like


  28. “Seriously, come to S.F. and sarge with an experienced local. Scary business.”

    Friend of mine was living there and always going on about how beautiful the women are there. Now it doesn’t sound so good.

    Like


  29. Here is how to spot a tranny in S.F.: The chicks who look the fittest are guys.

    Thanks to the obesity epidemic, most girls are a little soft. They don’t have shapely triceps like they should. It used to be that “sausage arms” or lack of a defined tricep was the tell of a woman’s age. No longer. Now even younger chicks have soft arms.

    Trannies, like gay men, are hyper-vain, and thus actually take care of their bodies. They have shapely arms.

    Of course this isn’t fool proof, but it’s a good short cut.

    I often joke that in San Francisco, the women who look most like women are men.

    Like


  30. In Soviet California, the “girls” bone you!

    Like


  31. Mike,

    It’s hard enough to remember all the steps in gaming girls. If you’ve to remember the top ten warning signs for a “bearded lady” – that sounds like a lot of extra work.

    There must be a lot of Playboy subscriptions in S.F. then.

    Like


  32. Men have hands and feet that are larger in proportion to their bodies than women do. Men have proportionally wider shoulders, also. If you meet a chic and her hands are as large as yours, that’s a bad sign. If she wears size 12 shoes that’s another red flag. And if her shoulders are as wide as yours, then run don’t walk.

    Like


  33. Is it a coincidence that there are posts on this topic and Jessica Valenti, on the same day?

    Because if we’re talking about women impersonators, the feminist writers like her and the Slate crowd are pretty good examples.

    Like


  34. At my office there is a male-to-female transsexual who went the whole route: had the operation, changed his name, dresses feminine, tries to mimic female mannerisms. Despite these efforts, he/she is not convincing: wide shoulders, large hands, adams apple, deep voice. Who do these trannies think they are fooling? Who are they trying to attract? Real men run from that stuff. The best a tranny can hope to attract would be another fag.

    Like


  35. “wide shoulders, large hands, adams apple, deep voice.”

    You’re not working in the State department, by any chance?

    Like


  36. you guys know to much about trannys i think

    Like


  37. @Capn Bob: Good point about Jessica Valenti, she probably inspired the story about the tranny. She’s the type of woman that I would be suspicious of, especially with her man-jaw. And even if she is a real woman, she’s not feminine at all, in looks or personality. I wouldn’t even approach someone like her. Waste of time.

    Like


  38. LBK

    “she’s not feminine at all, in looks or personality.”

    Women like her are common – depressingly so. They’ve ceased to be women, and they’re in every bar from Sydney to Warsaw.

    Like


  39. Eaglem,

    If you’re in the woods, you need to tell the difference between mushrooms and toadstools.

    Like


  40. “wide shoulders, large hands, adams apple, deep voice.”

    LOL. You must live in the Midwest.

    Adam’s apple and deep voice are not transsexuals. They are dudes who play dress up. The drugs and operations get ride of the Adam’s apple and deep voice.

    Again, come to S.F. I’ll take you to the right places and let you roam around. As a newbie, you won’t even be right 50% of the time.

    I’ve seen a lot of guys snagged. These are nice, fresh-faced guys – new to the city and clueless to the tranny way.

    Another tip: Trannies hang out together, so if you see one who is questionable, then the entire group are trannies.

    You learn to be careful, and avoid tall chicks. Tall chicks in S.F. have it terribly – even worse than in other cities. With tall chicks, it’s just not worth the risk, since tall chicks have larger frames, hands, and feet. How can you know without a pre-inspection? Not worth the risk, a shame for me, too, since I like long legs.

    The best a tranny can hope to attract would be another fag.

    A tranny who tried getting with me (an Albanian that would have caught me if I had been a newbie) was one of Colin Farrell’s old toys. (I saw the pictures to prove it.)

    Lots of people have a transsexual fetish.

    Like


  41. @Mike: you’re right, I am in the midwest. I guess the trannies around here aren’t as skilled at it as the ones in SF. I would guess the more “serious” ones tend to gravitate toward places like SF. Fine with me. I think you’ve scared me away from SF for life, at least for pua purposes.

    Like


  42. on September 18, 2010 at 11:06 pm gunslingergregi

    Maybe that is the intent.

    Like


  43. The age of the woman is not specified; this is a surprisingly common problem with women over 35, younger than that I don’t know. Why many women don’t understand the importance of upper lip grooming is beyond me. Maybe waxing their upper lip would mean admitting they have hair there, and they can’t admit it. Mustache and bad breath are the biggest boner killers ever.

    Like


  44. “Dad, I think my roomate is gay.”

    “Why is that, son?”

    “He closes his eye when I kiss him.”

    This same thing happened to me in college. She was certfitably an XX female person. Nice tits that were palpably real. I think she had a finance back home. But her upper lip was not downy softness no matter how she kissed me. Strange, but absolutely true.
    Since I was about 19, that lowered her rating on my boner-scale from a 9.5 to about 9.2.

    Like


  45. The hairy lip thing is a problem often with Italian and Hispanic girls. My H.S. girlfriend was only 16 and had terrible upper lip that she shaved, and it’d get badly wind burned in Midwestern winters. She was hot otherwise.

    There’s a chick at the coffee shop I want to bang out, but I can tell she has some lip action that she doens’t take care of. She’s 20, and not in college yet. So she didn’t get the grooming discussion yet from other chicks.

    Hell, I was a beast down below before college. Then I learned about grooming and man scaping.

    Like


  46. I think you’ve scared me away from SF for life, at least for pua purposes.

    The upside is the guys here have NO game, and the girls are easy. If you have even a little game, it’s a mecca.

    The girls aren’t as hot as in L.A., though.

    Plentiful sluts who give it up to a guy with game is worth it, though. There are also some very hot chicks, too. It’s all about which neighborhoods you roll out in.

    Plus, most are career chicks. I always have been buying me drinks all the time. The Mystery Method line, “No, but you can buy me one” is killer here. Chicks have their own money, so I only spend mine on myself and guy friends.

    Also, a lot of tourists roll through. Plenty of Irish and Brazilian chicks. (Not sure why so many Brazilians, but there are many here looking for fun.)

    S.F. is an underrated PUA destination.

    Like


  47. Yay, I learnt a few more vocabularies again.

    Like


  48. Hey Roislord, you a fan of Always Sunny in Philly?

    Mac Is a Serial Killerhttp://www.megavideo.com/?v=C8OA29SA

    Like


  49. I’ve lived in Asia a few years and although a minority of trannies can look a bit feminine, the percentage that could pass as female judged by a sober man with good eyesight and some brains and life experience is probably way less than one percent. And they’re all busy sucking off the local rich Japanese business men at ten times the going rate for the best show girls, so you won’t have any problems bumping into them either. 🙂

    Like


  50. on September 19, 2010 at 1:16 am Gunslingergregi

    Yea funnily enough it is going to australia for work lol

    Like


  51. I guess the sex change op wasn’t quite successful…

    Like


  52. […] Roissy: Why Sluts Make Bad Wives and Bristles […]

    Like


  53. This reminds me of the girl with the sandpaper nipples.

    They seemed very fetching at first–I’d never seen breasts where the areolae and nipples were lighter colored than the rest of the skin before, almost lily white. I thought they were cute as a duck until I put my tongue on one. The areola skin was coarse and abrasive; it took extra force just to drag my tongue across them. Disturbing.

    I don’t know what gave them their sandpaper texture, but I don’t think it was small hairs.

    Like


  54. Let’s hear more stories when you had a GOOD time instead of it being like a Seinfeld episode.. what’s up with these man hands?!

    Like


  55. Asain trannies are the worst- they have the slight builds, fatty cheeks, and light voices of females; in a dark club, its almost enough to fool you.

    I’ve never smelled a tranny, but I can’t imagine that it would smell like a woman.

    There are some woman perfumed all over with a musk that intoxicates. For me, that’s when sexual attraction really gets a head of steam up – when you inhale her and get drunk.

    My date last night has a musk on her forearm that makes swoon. No tranny can fake that.

    Some perfectly fine looking women just don’t smell right. I never take em seriously – for that reason alone.

    Like


  56. Roissy is a dick, but I’ll give him this much: bitch can write.

    Like


  57. The writing style is getting very evocative.

    Like


  58. cap’n bob,

    “she’s not feminine at all, in looks or personality.”
    Women like her are common – depressingly so. They’ve ceased to be women, and they’re in every bar from Sydney to Warsaw.

    Have you tried barns instead? [grin, duck & run]

    Like


  59. Bad breath and wild unshaved pussy are boner-breakers for me.

    I was taking out a girl a few year ago whose breath smelled like a bag of drowned puppies left on a picnic table on a hot summer day and mixed with Indian food.

    But is ejecting midway through a make-out session beta?

    With the bad breath thing, after leaving dental floss out on my bathroom counter and giving her, her own toothbrush….we had to part ways.

    But with the pussy hair thing and the make out session, is it beta to eject like that?

    When I lost my boner midway through the make out and my ejection took the same pattern as the one in that post, the girl only got more and more heated up.

    it was like the strategy for Last Minute Resistance where you suddenly just get up and start doing things. I had to finally ask her to leave because I had work to do. Lame.

    Like


  60. Stubbles of all sorts are bad, they are very raspy on my throat when I swallow the food. While hairless food is the best, I’ll take hair over stubble, spitting a hairball every so often is not as bad once one gets used to it.

    Like


  61. hey original proprietor! some self-professed sodini-like nyerd is kicking the shit out of sheila tone here:

    http://gameforomegas.wordpress.com/2010/09/14/george-sodini-vs-r-crumb/

    omfg her comments should be called “why women get socked in the jaw

    Like


  62. walawala, re hair… that is why I like natural blondes. Their pubic hair is usually short and semitransparent (blonde-blondes). Does look quite naked and not like they have tucked an animal in their crotch–ever wondered why is it called a beaver? 🙂

    How to recognize natural blondes–look at eyebrows and facial hair (very thin and light, you may need a magnifying glass).

    Like


  63. on September 19, 2010 at 9:24 am Northern Observer

    I came across this too recently. Fortunately after the first bang she upped her entire grooming regime before the next encounter. What is so wild is that in all other aspects -hands feet, attire, submissiveness, height 5″ she is very feminine. I think the culprit is the Southern Mediterranean heritage.

    Like


  64. nice story. i enjoy the stories.

    Like


  65. The Sarlacc, thx, it’s nice to have input from felines too, we can now successfully fend off the accusation of being too human-centric! 🙂

    Like


  66. Here is a better end:

    “You know, it sounds cliched, but I’m not that kind of girl.”
    She then notices that sperm from last nights fuck is dropping from beneath her skirt.

    Like


  67. veee have our seeeecrets!! heheheh!! (couldn’t help it)

    Like


  68. Cool. So a female being nervous to some men is not a problem/its somewhat cute? I will remember that when I am getting social anxiety.

    Like


  69. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to see Sheila/Spungen and Dana in a grudgematch cage fight.

    Let’s do dis!!!

    Like


  70. So a female being nervous to some men is not a problem/its somewhat cute?

    Don’t you worry your little head LP, it can be quite hot indeed.

    You just don’t want to let it extend to far into the actual sexytime though. Maybe up until the point of the meat intrusion, but no further.

    Like


  71. Tupac, I prefer if they think it’s a bone, rather than meat. 🙂

    Like


  72. WTF gross man. What was she? 69? Asian? Latina?

    Seriously girls with staches should be shot on site.

    Like


  73. what, whatsup with your accent? 🙂

    Like


  74. With some ethnicities the females are somewhat more hirsuite. Girls from Pakistan/India sort of areas naturally seem to have a lot of facial hair. When some people try to tame it they do it the male way and it’d end up being rather bristly.

    @Stan: At my office there is a male-to-female transsexual who went the whole route: had the operation, changed his name, dresses feminine, tries to mimic female mannerisms. Despite these efforts, he/she is not convincing: wide shoulders, large hands, adams apple, deep voice. Who do these trannies think they are fooling? Who are they trying to attract? Real men run from that stuff. The best a tranny can hope to attract would be another fag.

    I’ve seen people like bus drivers who seem very half-arsed. I mean, transsexual only so far as the operation, hairstyle and makeup, not even bothering with the mannerisms.

    East Asians have minimal sexual dimorphism so their trannies are more convincing but in Northern Europe, sexual differences are very strongly pronounced.

    Like


  75. @Morsellaux

    “what, whatsup with your accent? :-)”

    Vhy? You like it?

    what’s that movie….when I think mel brookes says..”VEE have our VAYS!!””hehehe!!

    I see you’ve started your cute hampster blog!

    Like


  76. what, I see you’ve started your cute hampster blog!

    Can’t say I started it yet, just “inited”. But it is there, so when I have something to say (happens rarely as anyone can observe! ;-)), I’ll say my piece, or two.

    Like


  77. Morsellaux,

    I’ll make sure to check in. Right, you don’t have much to say. lol!!

    Like


  78. what, Mel Brooks… probably The History of the World. Was in the the “unleash the nuns!” scene?

    Like


  79. Morsellaux,
    “he History of the World. Was in the the “unleash the nuns!” scene?”

    Maybe, not sure…funny right?

    Some of the best lines are actually from woody allan though. You either hate him or love him and I love him….sooo intelligent and funny. Some of his more introspective movies are great too… try
    “Another Woman”. The metaphors through out that movie is unbelievable. What a mind. yes he’s weird in our normal standard, but weirdness has it’s place and he uses it well. I could respect that.

    what I’ve noticed is that you are an alpha in the sense that you know the importance of timing and I think you are very observant. Those here need to learn some from you.

    (smiling)

    Like


  80. Poetry.

    The poetry of lip hair.

    Like


  81. Girls goes to kiss you and her breath smells like rotting flesh.

    Just her smell.

    Otherwise a hottie.

    WTF do you do?

    I told her, and she said: No-one complained about it (mostly because I assume they spent most of the time banging her from behind).

    She tried to fix it. Turned out she had a rotting tooth. It had been rotting for a year. Had it removed.

    Bad smell gone.

    I was her “bad tooth” guy.

    Rule: Be honest. Don’t be a dick about it. She ended up liking me lots.

    Like


  82. I can relate. My wife went through spells of hormonal inbalance which she used to control with the pill. In her case the stubble used to grow under the chin. Now it’s gone. And she’s 100 % female, as I’ve seen her give birth.
    This comment is for all the nerds who haven’t experienced a woman tash. It does happen.

    Like


  83. The nice thing to do would be to tell her she has lip stubble. As usual Roissy takes the passive aggressive approach. He could have told her in an email or txt or something. Would have been a nice thing to do; hence the thought never crosses his tiny mind.

    Like


  84. Well, what, it did not come cheap, I am that type that learns from own mistakes, as opposed to from mistakes of others. There may be a lot of embarrassing stories behind it.

    You’ve nailed the importance of being observant. It’s a core alphadom skill. One can learn patterns and have some success, but it is the number’s game. A bit too involved for my lazy, easygoing nature. 🙂

    Like


  85. Funny, Gorby, how honesty can turn into a random act of kindness…

    Like


  86. the blog started to regain its brilliancy again ………….

    Like


  87. on September 19, 2010 at 4:05 pm Hungry Hungry Hippos

    WAIT SO ROISSY YOU FUCKED A DUDE!?

    Like


  88. She’s a man, baby!

    Just kidding. Some women have this problem.

    Like


  89. What came first, our impulse to point out their lack of femininity, or their impulse to point out our lack of masculinity?

    This might make me sound like a pussy, but I find it quite tragic that the only women I like, as honest, intelligent people, are always the least feminine, the least sexually attractive.

    The more feminine they are, the more they shit test, the more mercenary their sexuality, the less honest they are with themselves and others, and the less intellectual curiosity they have.

    This is the point that I think is lost on most feminists and manginas: sure, women can lead and do technical things, but how feminine are these statistical outliers?

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  90. newsflash… unless you have a seven fig net worth, a 9 inch dick or are a bartender…… undergrads don’t want much to do with men in their mid to late 30’s…. especially the emotionally balanced ones.

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  91. Well, I am not a bartender…

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  92. Rum, ah… I see, are you trying to imply that you have a 7-figure net worth? 🙂

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  93. I’d say that if a post op tranny is hot enough to fool me then it’s ok. Trouble is, most of them still look pretty masculine.

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  94. schfifty five, though there is a general correlation between attractiveness and femininity, it is not interchangeable. You are trying to fit a square peg through a round hole. Femininity has a physical aspect that has a direct correlation with attractiveness, as well as a psychological aspect. A lot of what you describe is cultural. A mercenary approach to sexuality is not a sign of femininity, rather a departure from it.

    Attractive women use filters to sort out the men hitting on them. The more attractive is a woman, the more hits she experiences. I make a distinction between filers and shit tests. Filters are devices used consciously as shields (PUAs refer to it as a “bitch shield”, but often it is not–there is nuance in presenatation) to fend off unwanted advances. I see it as natural and necessary in the context.

    Shit test are subconscious, irrational stratagems of hypergamic hindbrain. They are directly related to biology, rather than to mind. Every woman uses them, not so pretty ones too–they just have less chances to deploy them as there is not that much of a sexual context around them.

    No use to grumble about it. You just need to learn ho deflect them, because when you enter into a relationship, short term/long term, you will inevitably encounter them, no matter where your woman is on the attractiveness scale.

    Intellectual curiosity or a lack of it–once again, that is mostly a cultural influence. Does not mean all is equal, not at all, just that the scope and reach of it differs between sexes.

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  95. she was blond that’s why you could not see the little bit of hair…. plus you probably did not have good lighting.

    btw was a grad student or a teacher, or both???? You were in a college campus but you seemed very interested in the undergrads when you walked out.

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  96. on September 19, 2010 at 7:07 pm Chad Buffington

    “Outside, I passed a group of undergrad girls reveling in the 1AM street lamp glow. All tits and ass, bursting into existence. Their philtrums glistened, danced and swayed, and I wondered which of them held no secrets.”

    Posts like this are the reason I keep visiting. You are a keen observer of the human condition. Keep it up.

    Like


  97. Yes, women with moustache, it is a very strange phenomenon.
    Even girls who give all the attention of the world to their looks, can walk around with a clearly visible moustache, as if it wasn’t there, as if nobody sees it.
    And apparently dare to kiss, as if the guy is not going to notice it.
    Strange.
    I think it comes from the generally accepted belief among women that if you shave off body hair, it comes back double or triple.
    Because if the beautician says it, it must be true.
    All for selling their laser treatment, of course.

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  98. body hair anywhere on a girl is a turn off. a little around the docking area is okay and the only body hair that is tolerable. I feel stubble anywhere, and i’m looking to GTFO there.

    The downside to banging girls randomly, they might not have intended to bang anyone that day and not shaved their legs. You get the stubble, and a return outing with that one is gone.

    Asian girls are the way to go, they are pretty much hairless and their skin is silky smooth and soft.

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  99. It’s amazing how much this stuff can turn you off and how quickly. I was with a girl recently that had hairy arms I didn’t notice at first because of her dark skin. Once I moved my hand up her arm as I was making out, I stopped pretty quickly. Ugh. Pay attention and turn the lights up.

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  100. To all those doing the “TRANNY!” spazing:

    Get a fucking clue.

    Some girls go overboard on hair removal, including the soft, blonde (in N. European) vellus hair that should never be removed under any circumstances. The absence of this hair causes friction and prevents smoothness.

    Stubble is what results from those girls that attempt to shave this hair off. While shaving is enough to fool the eye, it CANNOT fool the lips.

    Lips feel what eyes cannot see.

    This is an immutable fact of human sensory perception. Roissy couldn’t see anything because there was nothing to be seen. The thin blonde hairs that were prickling his mouth probably only rose above the skin surface by mere micrometers and were translucent. In a low-light condition of a girl’s apartment at night, they’d be invisible.

    Those tiny transparent quills are poky little fuckers and will INSTANTLY turn off any red-blooded man off, no matter how feminine the woman. But during this unpleasant discovery, confusion will reign.

    As Roissy experienced, the prickly menace cannot be confirmed visually, or even tactilely with the fingers. The ultra-sensitivity of the lips cannot be fooled though. If a girl has taken a razor and jaggedly shorn her face, the lips will know it.

    I had this very same experience and was utterly exasperated. It was arguably worse than anything I’d experienced. I had a solid 8 — petite with huge pendulous tits, long brown hair, hour glass galore — straddling my lap, and we commenced making out.

    As mentioned, the intermittent nature of the prickling was unbearable, if only because it was so inexplicable and totally incongruous with the ultra-feminine nymph who was dry-humping upon me. My hands said her hips and her breasts made her a woman. My eyes said her milky skin and tiny hands made her a woman. My nose confirmed her scent and moistening pussy made her a woman. My tongue even detected the hormonal chemistry of her mouth.

    But the lips err on the side of caution, to the point of causing false positives.

    She wasn’t a tranny, she was just a girl that shaved her upper lip. A bad choice.

    Wax or go home, mustachioed ladies. Wax or go home.

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  101. Listen, sometimes I don’t wax my upper lip and it gets a little prickly up there. Maybe that’s all it was. It’s very “native,” very sexy.

    I would still whip you. into a frenzy by pouring warmed Fanta soda all over you while you did some solo Hip Hop.

    Call me.

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  102. She was probably a post-op trannie 😀

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  103. The writing was de-lish until that last line. I respect going for gold but come ON. Oh, and is the tranny speculation only exhausting to me? We all had this laugh/debate after Trainspotting…

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  104. on September 20, 2010 at 1:34 am Gunslingergregi

    ”””””We all had this laugh/debate after Trainspotting…””””’

    Some of us discover and do things in between blog posts and have some new material.

    he he he

    Like


  105. @ Mike.

    True @ places like Asia SF they have some pretty convincing trannies, but you can always tell. Regardless of whether they have narrow shoulders and wide hips (bad proportions here are the 1st giveaway), they’v had surgery, etc., there’s always something that’s a little off. I think it has to do with them having a self constructed femine identity that comes across as slightly forced or unnatural. I can always pick them out, and I believe that on some level every guy can. “I was fooled,” is a bullshit rationalization.

    @ Chateau

    Stashe stubble sounds pretty fucking horrific. Even excessive peachfuzz noticed only when the light hits is just right can kill things. Coincidentally, I’ve noticed that the light tends to be just right (or just wrong?) in the moments after busting a nut. Even with the hottest chicks.

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  106. What kind of player you are that you cannot see whether she was a tranny or not. Moreover, you went to kissing her for long-long time to realize the fact. You saved her number. What else to say!! And, you claim you left her midway – who knows her side of story that your bad breath made her to leave you!

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  107. Oh gosh that happened to me too-oo… a female bodybuilder… yikes! ’nuff said.

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  108. She was Portuguese. Or Lebanese.

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  109. I was meaning to comment, but I got busy. So my aunt does hair, waxing, etc. She is big on waxing/bleaching. Peach fuzz is not big deal its to be left alone. You could wax it or bleach it but for most of us its not even there.

    At 30 I found something HORRIFIC. I mean I cringed and freaked…I found a single dark chin hair underneath my chin toward my neck. I was like, Oh God help me, kill me now if this what I have to look forward to. That was months ago, tweezed it. Never re appeared, but now I look 4 them. But its a good thing, it keeps my ego 1 inch high and makes me enjoy being “young” a tad more. Life sucks.

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  110. Was in out in local Meat Market (No, an actual market where you buy meat…) and the girl ringing me up was young (16-20), black-haired and despite the grunge outfit, was not a bad looking women.

    General impression: not gorgeous, but cute; 6 maybe, and definitely feminine…EXCEPT the long black hairs sticking out from under her chin.

    WTF?

    You think a little lip stache is repulsive?

    Try looking at a little tuft of raven hair stuck under the craw.

    I checked her out and tried to determine WHY the hell she would not do something about that mess. I get that some lesbians and bohemians don’t do the armpits or the legs, but the only time I’ve seen hair like that on a woman was when they were in their 70’s or older.

    I think; she’s GOT to see that in the mirror from time to time, right?

    I was astounded and repulsed. If this girl had dressed nicely, had a cute figure under the flannel, and wore some make-up, she might reach 7, but with the pubic chin, she dropped to at least a 3 on the attractive scale.

    I guess I got an insight, though, in how a woman sees a go that simply does not got to any effort to groom himself, but DAMN!

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  111. Fuck…

    “I guess I got an insight, though, in how a woman sees a guy that simply does not go to any effort to groom himself, but DAMN!”

    Proof-reading is your friend…

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  112. chateau inc.

    …she had a hedgerow of invisible bristles above her mouth — scratching, scraping, scrubbing the epidermis from my face. I could not even fool myself these were soft female hairs; I was kissing 5 o’clock stubble.

    To be the true bon vivant
    there are many hurdles to overcome
    in dating Greek, eastern eurpean girls or wops

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  113. Morsellaux

    cap’n bob,

    “she’s not feminine at all, in looks or personality.”
    Women like her are common – depressingly so. They’ve ceased to be women, and they’re in every bar from Sydney to Warsaw.

    Have you tried barns instead?

    boys – this is how it’s done properly

    A+

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  114. I had this exact experience once, but ended up taking a blow job. stubble=testosterone=horny bitch. This girl also had the biggest and nastiest noodle boobs I’ve ever seen. It was a one and done encounter.

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  115. what’s barns?

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  116. what’s barn?

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  117. I am electronically challenged!!hahahh!! I can’t seem to be able to submit anything–help!

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  118. Where is my old icon? I like that one better. Can I get it back?

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  119. I prefer pink.

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  120. I hate blue. help! I like my pink icon back! pleeeease!

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  121. on September 20, 2010 at 11:52 am Gunslingergregi

    lol anyone seen end game 2

    Shit is off the chain.

    Has two teams of assassins one alpha one omega.

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  122. on September 20, 2010 at 11:52 am Gunslingergregi

    The two teams locked in an office building and kill each other.

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  123. “Roissy is a dick, but I’ll give him this much: bitch can write.”

    Bitch can fucking write.

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  124. nice little short story. brief, entertaining and a well-constructed ending.

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  125. “In fact, as I was kissing her I had my hands under her panties. ”

    –Now THAT’S a kiss. haha. Haven’t read in a while….glad I did. That made me laugh.

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  126. Heck mine was an Hindian bodybuilder ‘n awl and she WAS gorgeous so… but I feel so ashamed and embarassed to tell the whole wide world about this because these days me’s a fookin’ WAYCISS. Ugh nutzi WTF… sorry Lawd. So fuckin’ sorry. But it happened yonks ago.

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  127. She’s a man, baby!

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