Identifying Sluts: The Science

It’s important for men to be able to ascertain which women he meets are sluts, for two main reasons:

1. The Good Times consideration.

Slut identification allows him to quickly screen for women who are more likely to put out on the first or second date.

2. The Long Haul consideration.

Slut identification allows him to studiously avoid investing resources in those women who would make bad wives or girlfriends.

Bad wives?, sputters the peanut gallery. Yes. Women who have had more than the average number of sex partners are higher infidelity risks. If you do the stupid thing and marry a woman with 16 prior partners (freely entertained, of course!), your risk of suffering a humiliating divorce raping goes up to 80%.

Now science has further buttressed the cause of slut identification with a list of telltale slut stigmata that every man should be on the lookout for, (and which corroborate a lot of the wisdom in this post), should matrimony or horniness compel his decision-making. And the verdict is in: a woman’s “sexual personality” matters more than the demographic group to which she belongs.

In a new study, men and women were more likely to report infidelity, or cheating — often a marriage or relationship deal-breaker — when they also experienced an increased sensitivity for sexual performance problems and a decreased likelihood to lose their sexual arousal in the face of risk or danger.

The study, by researchers at Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion, The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction, and the University of Guelph, is the first to look at the influence of lovers’ sexual personality traits on infidelity. Their findings, published online this month in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior, show that these sexual personality characteristics carry more sway than factors typically studied, namely demographic information such as gender and marital status.

Consistent with previous studies, the IU study found little difference in the rates of infidelity reported by men and women (23 percent and 19 percent, respectively). However, there were difference between the sexes in reasons related to infidelity.

Trend lines indicate that female infidelity is catching up with male infidelity, a social phenomenon which was described with alacrity by this very blog. However, what hasn’t changed is the fact that men are still the bigger cheaters than women, though the difference has shrunk.

Now let’s see what slut tells the study has found.

The propensity for sexual excitation, or the ease with which one becomes sexually aroused by all kinds of triggers and situations, played a bigger role for the men compared to the women, for whom lower relationship happiness and poor compatibility with their spouse or partner in terms of sexual attitudes were more important to the prediction of infidelity.

Another core Chateau concept confirmed by science. Men cheat because variety is the spice of life, and men with raging libidos are more likely to act on the desire for variety. Women cheat because they are unhappy with their beta schlubs (often) or they feel neglected by their emotionally distant alpha dreamboats (not as often).

And while the idea that an increased sensitivity to sexual performance failures would make men and women more likely to cheat might sound counter-intuitive, Mark said other Kinsey Institute studies have tied higher levels of inhibition such as this with risky sexual behavior.

“People experiencing this might seek out high-risk situations to overcome arousal problems, or might feel less pressure to impress someone outside of their primary relationship than they do with their partner,” Mark said. “A new partner also wouldn’t know your history of having performance concerns or other issues.”

If your woman can’t get an orgasm, or frets about not getting an orgasm, or goes through elaborate OCD rituals before having sex, or has a giant purple saguaro on her nightstand, you are probably dating a slut. Proceed with caution.

• Neither marital status nor how religious study participants were was predictive of having had or not having had sex outside of the relationship.

Marriage is no exemption from participation, willing or not, in the unrelenting mercilessness of the sexual market.

• For both men and women, another predictor of infidelity was a tendency to engage in regretful sexual behavior when in a negative or positive mood state.

Watch out for girls who like to screw after a good cry. Or an especially harsh neg from an asshole.

• Study participants completed the Sexual Excitation/Sexual Inhibition Scales (SIS/SES), a questionnaire developed at The Kinsey Institute that considers sexual personality characteristics. It measures propensity for sexual excitation (SES) and for two types of sexual inhibition: Sexual inhibition due to the threat of performance failure (SIS1) and sexual inhibition due to the threat of performance consequences (SIS2). The men and women also completed the Mood and Sexuality Questionnaire. The SES/SIS, which is used by researchers all over the world, is based on the dual control model of sexual response, developed by researchers at The Kinsey Institute. This model proposes that sexual desire, arousal and associated behaviors depend on a balance between sexual excitation and inhibition, and that people vary in their propensities for these processes.

If a woman is very uninhibited in nonsexual matters or tangentially sexual matters, she is likely to be uninhibited within the sexual intimacy sphere as well. Not that it needs spelling out, but strippers, hookers, bar dancers and thrill seekers like sky divers — that is, those women with a desire mechanism biased in favor of excitation and against inhibition — are higher infidelity risks than women who don’t or haven’t engaged in these activities. (Which is why strippers make such good pickup prospects.)

• Concerning sexual inhibition due to the threat of performance consequences (SIS2), for every one unit increase, with higher scores representing higher inhibition, women were 13 percent less likely to have cheated and men were 7 percent less likely to have cheated.

If I read this right, it seems women don’t cheat (as much as men) because they’re worried about the consequences (e.g., pregnancy), and the more they worry, the less likely they are to cheat. Human nature: 1, social engineers: 0.

• Concerning inhibition due to the threat of sexual performance failure, women were 8 percent more likely to cheat for each one unit increase on the scale that measured this inhibition (higher score means greater inhibition). Men were 6 percent more likely to cheat with each one unit increase on the scale.

Veeery interesting. Women with “performance issues” are more likely to cheat than men with these issues. Although I’m not exactly sure what a sexual performance failure would constitute for a woman; if the man gets off, she’s not failing anything. Oh yeah, her orgasm…. mmm, sandwich time!

• Women reporting low relationship happiness were 2.6 times more likely to report having engaged in infidelity. Women who perceived low compatibility in terms of sexual attitudes and values were 2.9 times more likely to cheat.

This is why game is so important inside as well as outside of relationships.

Now that you are armed with a catalogue of accurate slut tells, go forth, find and sexually satisfy the sluts among you. Then, maritally deny them. No need to anguish over any moral crisis. It’s just the way the game is played.





Comments


  1. “… go forth, find and sexually satisfy the sluts among you. Then, maritally deny them.”

    But sluts want to get married, too! Sluts want to be loved and have a happy family, as well. Is there anything sluts can do to become desirable again?

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    • Not to me, no.
      (bangable, sure, but desirable? naaah)

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      • Yup… married to someone else and don’t want to use a condom while you jizz buckets in them– “Unnghh, who’s my tight cum dumpster, bitch?!” But marry that (and be the guy on the hook for her playing) no way!

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    • Maya,

      I think there are a lot of reformed sluts who luckily slip through the cracks. But it seems based on this study, that, now its being revealed that many men are marrying these kinds of women without looking for tell tale signs first (what those are I don’t know).

      Believe me NO woman enjoys sleeping around. Not even the sluts. I have slutty friends and they try to pretend they are happy b/c they are getting good “d” on the regular but I know better. For a moment I envy them. But then I’m happy I don’t have all the yeast ad bacterial infections and heartache they carry from guy to guy.

      All women long for the same thing – a man that they can love and connect with emotionally who is committed to her and one who loves her unconditionally back. The problem is slutty women tend to try to take the easy route to getting male affection and attention and ultimately burn themselves out. Some get lucky and slip through the cracks and find a good guy that marries or commits to them later. I guess this study H posted is providing the end results of said men who do end up marrying these kinds of women unknowingly.

      Liked by 1 person


      • Neecy

        I think there are a lot of reformed sluts who luckily slip through the cracks.

        LOL

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      • Well played, sir.

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      • “Believe me NO woman enjoys sleeping around. Not even the sluts.”

        Totally irrelevant.

        Sluts can not control themselves. Even if they find a loser omega who forgives them the variety of seed encrustations in the cervix, this will not change them.

        They will screw around on a whim, when sad, when bored, after argumenting with partner.

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      • They screw around b/c that is their way of handling their emotions and need for affection. It doesn’t mean they enjoy it. I hear these girls and see their pain. They don’t like doing it but they don’t know any other way to handle feelings and needs of wanting affection and attention from men.

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      • They screw around b/c that is their way of handling their emotions and need for affection.

        Thanks for the wonderful excuse! If I ever marry again, Ill use it when caught by wifey.

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      • It seems a high number of partners is not always a sign of a slut. I know a few like that – they had lots of relationships and flings, but didn’t sleep around with men they hardly knew, so they still managed to have a successful marriage later (without any adultery that I know of).

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      • my girfriend tell me she let a guy fuck her in the ass on the first night and she think she not a slut what do u think

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      • Exactly! No woman really enjoys sleeping around. I have slutty friends as well. They are so unhappy in their hearts. I think the best for them would be to face the truth and accept the mistakes they’ve made …

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      • Sex is a slippery slope for us gals. We enjoy it as much as men do and we need it, but we have to control those urges. All women want male attention and desire. it just seems these days so many women are willing to do the easiest thing to get that. *sigh* My philosophy to the decent girls is you got 2 choices (1) if you can’t beat em join em and pay the consequences later (2) simply be content with living vicariously through your slutty friends by listening to the amazing sex stories they tell you, and chose to remain single until that unicorn of a man comes and wants to settle down with a decent girl. (3) if you are mid 30’s or older and are still attractive, find a young guy you can trust and connect with and have sex with him when you need it. b/c guys your age and older are looking to wed and LTR younger women in their 20’s.

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      • (3) sounds like Samantha to me. I prefer mums to cougars. Well, I think it’s still possible for a mid 30’s gal to find a husband, maybe a guy in his forties?

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      • Yes, in magazines and showbusiness, a lot of used up mid 30’s ex club rats find 40-something millionaires willing to marry them.
        In real life, a slut who hit the wall is more likely to raise cats than children of a committed alpha.

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      • For some yes. But i have found that men beyond the age of 35 and older are very judgmental towards a woman’s age no matter how good she looks. Most 35-40 something year old guys are going after women in their 20’s. Its a waste of time and energy for a mid 30 yr old woman to try to snag a 40 something year old guy who is obsessed with young aged women (most all of them are).

        I have found younger guys (mid 20’s and early 30’s) are more forgiving towards a woman’s age if she still looks good by his standards. B/C they are young they are still very visually focused. They also are still in “I’m the man mode” and want to prove himself in the bed. LOL Any woman who meets a younger guys attractiveness standards can get laid by him. I’m not saying he’ll marry her or settle down with her, but at a certain point a woman past the desirable marriage ages has to understand she may have to go at it alone in the relationship dept. but if she still looks good and gets male attention when she needs sex she can depend on the younger bucks to provide that.

        Its shitty but it is what it is. People will adapt and get what they need the best most realistic way they can.

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      • on August 2, 2011 at 4:37 pm Rollo Tomassi

        We enjoy it as much as men do and we need it,..

        Categorically false. Men produce 17 times the amount of testosterone a woman does. It is a biological impossibility for a woman to want sex as much as, or as often as men. Trust me, when a woman says, “I don’t understand why sex is so important to guys” she’s speaking the literal truth. No woman will ever experience 17 times the amount of her own testosterone levels (barring steroids). Add to this that women’s sexual desire is cyclical. Even at the peak of her menstrual cycle, when she’s at her horniest, she’ll never experience what men do 24 hours a day.

        Next canard please.

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      • Rollo,

        I never mentioned anything about the LEVEL and intensity of women’s sex drives compared to men. I am very well aware of the higher libido in males compared to women. YES, Typically women experience a surge in sexual desire during, before or after menstruation (obviously for reproductive reasons) while males I believe experience these needs for release on going. This is really the only time I ever get really horny and desire sex. After that time passes I’m good.

        i don’t need you to tell me as a woman what my sex drive is b/c I have gone quite long without sex and am okay with that. i don’t believe a man can EVER go for long periods of time without sex before he becomes frustrated and ready to go on killing sprees (I’m exaggerating but you get my point). My point I was making is that sex is also something women desire just like men. maybe not at the same intensity or need as men, but we do desire it. Any woman that says she doesn’t desire sex is a liar. But most women ONLY have constant sex with various men more so b/c they want some kind of emotional connection and affection from a man – that is the easiest way to get it.

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      • Women, like male homosexuals, tend to do disastrous things with disastrous consequences for sexual reasons. So I rather think they do experience more extreme sexual desire than heterosexual males.

        However, a man can get turned on a lot more easily than a women. For men, sex is like pizza. All pizzas are fine, even though some pizzas are better. Women are more selective, but when they make their selection, they are less able to control their own behavior than men are.

        Thus, for example, in the spy business, women and homosexuals are notoriously more apt to betray their country for sexual reasons than heterosexual males.

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      • Men have far more of a “push” drive for sex than women do. However I think that when higher libido women experience really great male charismatically dominant sex, they get much more sexual pleasure than men do from that high quality sex act. Thus women’s sex drive is more pull driven than that of men, and much less push driven. The more great sex a woman of normal or high libido has, the more she tends to want, unless she’s totally stressed out, etc. There’s some of that pull effect on men but it’s much the lesser factor.

        However in their thirties and at least early forties, women experience a hormonal shift that causes most women who are away from child bearing and lactating to experience hormonal shifts towards a higher testosterone relative to estrogen balance, leading to a higher push type sex drive, but still less than men, on average. Of course almost all biological traits within a species are distributed along Gaussian or bell curves for the sex, and those bell curves at least somewhat overlap between the sexes. Testosterone levels many not overlap much at all, but that’s not the only driver of libido.

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      • They enjoy it and want it for different reasons. There’s a big emotional need for sex, which has essentially become a surrogate for love. Not to mention, women are far more physical than men.

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      • “However in their thirties and at least early forties, women experience a hormonal shift that causes most women who are away from child bearing and lactating to experience hormonal shifts towards a higher testosterone relative to estrogen balance, leading to a higher push type sex drive,”

        DOUG,

        You are defintiley onto something about the age thing. I’m mid 30’s and my God my libido has increased dramatically and keeps growing each year. LOL I cannot remember having these raging hormones in my 20’s. I wonder what causes this.

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      • The conscious or unconscious approaching end of female reproductive age… Others would call it panic.

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      • Possibly. All i know is it increases which to me would seem backwards. I t would seem a woman would have a higher sex drive in her more reporductive early years.

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      • “All women long for the same thing – a man that they can love and connect with emotionally who is committed to her and one who loves her unconditionally back.”
        Neecy, I really think you are generalizing from your own experience – just because you want the above-referenced things does not mean that all women do. The bottom line is that there are women out there who are just plain old skank ho’s. I think you just have a hard time believing it because you are viewing the matter from the perspective of your own non-slut psyche.

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      • “The bottom line is that there are women out there who are just plain old skank ho’s.”

        I think Neecy is right and you, Fred, are wrong. If you had any slutty female FRIENDS, you should be able to see how unhappy these girls are. I talked a few days ago with one of my friends and she was very upset with my new worldview. Till now I only managed to convince one person to think about her behaviour and she has all kinds of problems with herself now. Not enough, though and I’ll keep calling her a prostitute every time I speak to her because I care a lot about her and I want her to change. I’m not sure whether she’ll be able to face it, because she’s a very beautiful, feminine and smart girl (far above the average sluts) and I guess it’s hard to accept that she gave all those above average qualities away by having casual sex. She’s always been a feminist and she thinks she’s the one who’s “using” men for sex. So I keep calling her a slut and she’s totally hysterical about that.
        I think Neecy is very right – all women long for the same thing.

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      • Maybe I am. But i am going by the numerous friends and acquaintencas i have who do sleep around and are always unhappy. Don’t get me wrong, they are HAPPY about the act itself and how “good it was” but its a temporary happiness/high that seems to come down when reality (and the yeast/bacterial infections) starts kicking in.

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      • This would appear to be related more to unrealistic hopes (along the line of “this time its going to be different, he really IS prince charming”) being challenged by reality than having had sex with someone.

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      • “Believe me NO woman enjoys sleeping around.”

        I’m not sure I agree with that.

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      • Why not? I guess I cannot speak for every woman. I’m not saying they don’t enjoy the sex when they get it and possibly temporarily afterwards, but for my friends who sleep around, while they are bragging about the act itself, they are also always miserable and going through drama – and they understand that its easy sex that causes this. telling me how they just want to meet a decent guy to settle down with, how they wished they hadn’t slept with the guy. etc. How its “wrong” etc. I still believe deep down to the core most women want to be loved and adored by one man and also be with a man she loves and adores. How they go about getting that adoration and love is the issue – and usually its free sex with any male they are attracted to.

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      • “I have slutty friends and they try to PRETEND they are happy b/c they are getting good “d” on the regular but *I* know better.”

        OMG, I literally laughed so hard it was physically painful. The hamster rides again!

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    • Is there anything sluts can do to become desirable again?

      sure, simply unfuck all the guys you’ve had.

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      • :S I never had a boyfriend. Although I feel dirty because of the past abuse … I feel like my SMV is lowered because of that and I feel I’m not as desirable as I could be. Sex is sex. Consensual or non-consensual, it doesn’t matter. It’s dirty and SMV-lowering, in my opinion.

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      • If you at least learned how to be good at (most girls never did) the damage might be contained…

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      • Good at what? Sex?

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      • Well yes, good at sex.

        Whether one could learn from non-consensual sex is an entirely different question – one I dont feel like really thinking about but I am sure I could make up some thing

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      • Well, I can tell you, I haven’t learned anything from non-consensual sex. Except that I feel dirty, unlovable and with lowered SMV. Plus, I feel nauseated when I think about it.
        Besides, I don’t think a woman has to learn anything about sex. I don’t think I need to know any techniques or anything at all. I think emotions are more important than any “knowledge”. I’m sure you’d be more happy with a blowjob form a girl who truly admires you than with a technically perfect blowjob from a girl who had to force herself to do it.

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      • > Besides, I don’t think a woman has to learn anything about sex.

        That view is sadly pretty common. And dead wrong. If men cared to fuck dolls, real dolls are quite cheap when you do the math.

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      • You think so? But I think women are like dolls in bed because they are bored, not because they don’t have enough knowledge …

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      • Maya,

        This is where there are benefits in having slutty friends. LOL. If a woman is not out having sex regularly(like myself) you do miss out on the current up to date things to do. Believe your slutty friends will inform and even SHOW you how to do things so that by the time you get a man you settle down with, you know what to do and won’t be so inexperienced. I literally had a slutty friend show me how to give a ‘one of a kind’ blow job, in the middle of her living room with a huge pickle. LOL

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      • “I don’t think I need to know any techniques or anything at all. I think emotions are more important than any ‘knowledge’.”

        This is right up there with “men should love women for who hey are, not how they look” in terms of self-serving drivel and denial of obvious reality. Delusional, ma’am. Delusional.

        “I’m sure you’d be more happy with a blowjob form a girl who truly admires you than with a technically perfect blowjob from a girl who had to force herself to do it.”

        You need to stop typing and consider the distinction between what you want men to be and what they are. I have never, ever, ever hear a male buddy lean forward and tell me, “Wow, she sure admires me. Damn, she admires me better than any woman I have ever been with. That is soooooo hot. I cannot get enough of her admiration.”

        I have heard many a man leer about how well the gal he is dating, fucking, married to, whatever sucks his dick, though. And I have heard plenty of complaints about when that same gal is not doing so. Admiration has never once been mentioned.

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      • Hope you don’t mean anyone can learn anything from non-consensual sex?! :S

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      • You wonder if being raped makes you less attractive.

        The reason having sex with other men makes a woman less attractive is three fold. Disease, pregnancy, and personality alterations. I’d hope the first two don’t apply to you though you should test for diseases if you’re uncertain. For the third one, women tend to become more masculine, compare past lovers to current ones, and become less faithful.

        The degree to which that happened to you after the rape is the determinate of your sexual value. There’s nothing magical about sex. If you haven’t adopted those personality changes then you’re not less attractive. Commonly women do, though. After rape they become more promiscuous, less kind, and favour emotional attachments less. I’ve seen this repeatedly with rape victims in my life

        The rape victims I knew didn’t have any major problem getting a guy. They actually often had an advantage because guys liked to protect them and they were crazy and crazy is sexy. But then, they were all hot.

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      • Having been raped doesn’t make you a slut. No decent thinking man thinks it does either. However sluts can certainly be raped, and probably are more than non sluts, due to putting themselves out there in sexually provocative ways a good lot.

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      • As pointed out, you can’t undo what has been done. You can only change future behavior.

        So a slut who wants to change first has to stop behaving like a slut. She has to start behaving like a chaste woman. Not impossible, but very, very difficult. People have great difficulty changing behavior.

        It will not get a slut back the value she had when she was a virgin. But it will raise her value.

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    • If you feel like you are a slut because of something you had no control over, then you’re exactly the kind of emotional wreck that men try to avoid when they avoid sluts for ltrs. Not saying you’re a slut, but you may be damaged. Try getting some help and when you are close to cured, don’t bring up your trauma to new guys until you are well into your relationship…assuming of course that the counseling helped you not be so obvious.

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      • I agree, diseases not withstanding, men are probably a lot more bothered by the emotional baggage that rape often (not always I am told) causes in women than the act itself….

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      • I don’t feel so much like a slut, but more like dirty, damaged and ashamed. I don’t need any help because I don’t like the feminist explanation of rape that today’s psychologists have. Truth is, the evo psych explanation is very hurtful, because it suggests a lowered SMV as a consequence …But that’s how I really feel. Even if I go and assure myself I have no diseases (I haven’t done it yet, because I was too afraid to talk about it to anyone) I’d still feel dirty … wondering whether there are STD’s we haven’t yet discovered … Another problem is bringing up the trauma too much. I don’t talk about it anywhere (haven’t told absolutely anyone) except here. On the other side, I think I will feel an urge to talk about it with my future boyfriend very soon. I don’t want him to be disappointed later and feel sorry for me and think that I’m not able to enjoy having sex anymore (though this might be true to some degree – I’m sure I won’t let him do some things that remind me of what happened to me). He will also probably ask me why I’ve never had a boyfriend and I’ll have to explain it somehow … I could say something else, but since I came to conclusion about the real reason, I don’t see why not telling the truth?
        I have to say that I used to be very obvious – I even got asked once -very seriously- whether I’ve been abused in the childhood, but I think I’m not like that anymore, hopefully. But I really was very obvious and only now I understand how my beliefs made me behave in certain way.

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      • You have more options than “the feminist explanation” and “evo psychology.” Both are ultimately contrived and equally feckless. They will both drive you to despair in different ways because neither take into account the entire human condition.

        Seeing a young girl try to repair her soul with either of these bloody-minded ideologies is like watching a witchdoctor perform an appendectomy with a cheese grater — on herself.

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      • What other options do I have? I don’t want to try self-surgery with a cheese grater – but others couldn’t help me. My problem is emotional and therefore can’t be repaired by some cognitive-behavioural therapy or something like that. Drugs improve my mood, but since I’m afraid that they can cause some long-term harm to my brain, I don’t want to take them. Also, I see no sense in discussing the details of my past to anyone who can’t take it (my family and friends) or who doesn’t really care (everyone else).

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      • Behavior has no “u” in it. We’re Americans here, sugar.

        No drugs, no talking cures, no gleaning third-hand pseudoscientific wisdom from blogs. They don’t care about you, they don’t recognize your dignity, you are the sum of your genes and atoms and nothing more, you are disposable, indistinguishable from an animal or a plant or a bag of trash.

        I see no sense in discussing the details of my past to anyone … who doesn’t really care (everyone else).

        That’s not true, babygirl. Daddy cares. Your real Daddy. You know Who I’m talking about.

        I don’t want to proselytize at you, you’re not mentally prepared to handle the biggest truths no matter what I say and our options are limited on this medium. You’re a wilting flower refusing a drink. But I’ll do what I can to protect you, in the native language you understand, to the extent you allow, till you’re ready to take the plunge. Because, hard as it might be to believe, an unfathomable number of people you don’t even know love you more than you realize is possible.

        Just don’t waste too much time on these moral cul-de-sacs. Your clock is seriously ticking. Age usually drives women to this wisdom after they’ve spent their youth exhausting all possibilities and chasing phantom promises.

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      • What other options do I have? I don’t want to try self-surgery with a cheese grater – but others couldn’t help me. My problem is emotional and therefore can’t be repaired by some cognitive-behavioural therapy or something like that. Drugs improve my mood, but since I’m afraid that they can cause some long-term harm to my brain, I don’t want to take them. Also, I see no purpose in discussing the details of my past to anyone who can’t take it (my family and friends) or who doesn’t really care (everyone else).

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      • Why shouldn’t I bring it up soon in the relationship? I think it’s fair that I tell the guy as soon as possible (but I don’t mean the first date, of course) and he’ll be able to decide if he can accept me for what I am.
        I’m not an emotional wreck, actually – except that I lack the general feeling of safety and I can’t wait to find a man to cling on him … Sounds crazy I know, but that’s what I want. Could also be a consequence of the fact that my father didn’t live with us and my mother wasn’t able to protect me – literally. Sounds too psychoanalytical, I know, but it’s true.

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      • on August 16, 2011 at 12:19 am scared of divorce

        I’m a therapist, so I’m biased, but I think it’s pretty defensible that when someone has had something happen to them they think is horrible, in general it may be helpful to talk about it to someone.

        It doesn’t have to be a therapist, psychologist, or any other particular type of person, although we’re trained to sort of see where you’re going wrong in your thinking and making yourself unhappy. Honestly, when I went to grad school I thought the competence of the therapists around me was about 1/3 good, 1/3 mediocre and probably mildly helpful or harmless, and 1/3 dogmatic idiots ( feminists, religious people) who may well have been harmful.

        Many people are naturally therepeutic to talk to– martial arts teachers, religious people who are not nuts ( I am not religious) — here I include Buddhists who are not advocates of the Invisible Friend philosophies ( like they guy above who purports to know who your real father is).

        It could be the waitress at a cafe, the owner of the dry cleaner you go to– I’m just trying to make the point your not alone and people can be helpful.

        Now you do run risks dumping severe trauma on people who aren’t used to dealing with it. You can traumatize them as well as they are not used to hearing horror stories.

        But NOT doing anything, you start to get into what’s called “help-rejecting complaining.”

        Like when you say “cognitive therapy can’t help” without ever doing it? ( Sorry if you did it and it was not helpful.)

        And meds may permanently damage your brain.

        You can list all the things that won’t work and why your situation is hopeless, but that doesn’t seem constructive to me.

        From a positive psychology point of view, what would you like your life to be like– form a clear, visual image of exactly what it would look like on a great day.

        Maybe you want to be in a little white house way out in the desert with a handsome painter husband, or in a huge mansion on the water in Newport Beach.

        Whatever it is you want, where you want to be, how you want to feel– imagine it.

        Then delineate what would have to change for you to be there.

        It will take many, many steps; but I think there’s a saying ” A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.”

        By the way, I had a girlfriend who had been violently raped. After we knew each other a while, she was able to tell me and explain that she could not orgasm with men any more. I didn’t feel disgusted by her, I was very sympathetic and wanted to help, and we gradually worked towards getting her more comfortable with sex again, and after a few months she was able to orgasm during intercourse.

        She was one of the best girlfriends I ever had, I still miss her. She wanted to move on because i didn’t want to get married, but I did not ever judge her for something she didn’t bear any responsibility for.

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    • Yes, they can reincarnate and live a chaste life until marriage.

      Since there is (and never was) no reincarnation, sluts are doomed to settle down with a 3rd rate beta who thinks he is “lucky” to have such a good-looking [by beta standards] wife.

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    • Is there anything sluts can do to become desirable again?

      Stop. Being. Slutty.

      Forgiveness is all. No damage that has been done cannot be repaired. Like any addict, sluts compound the damage by thinking recovery is hopeless. It’s not. There will always be scars, what’s done is done. But to be truly “loved and have a happy family” means to be forgiven. Whoever thinks they can’t be forgiven and whoever thinks they don’t need forgiveness is simply well behind in the cycle of maturity.

      It’s not the physical hymen damage that’s the problem. It’s the pattern of learned behavior acquired during that spiral of despair in which a woman, thinking she is irreparably damaged goods, continues to damage herself until the physical exterior matches the mental interior. First thing they tell a drunk: stop drinking. Then it is a day at a time. And then the process of repair occurs in reverse — know that you are not hopeless, and soon the despair fades into the memories of a past life that can no longer touch you.

      The problem is, women typically don’t start the healing process until they are being ravaged by something else entirely: age.

      Anyway, being desirable comes from your femininity. Sluts are not desirable because they are not feminine — they display the sex patterns of men. In other words, how do sluts become desirable again? Stop. Being. Slutty.

      Like


      • I was thinking about one other thing … I’ve noticed that girls these days (especially late 20’s girls) dress very slutty. (I had the same problem in the past – not because I wanted to attract men – I didn’t want to and I seriously had no idea that walking around dressed slutty attracts men! – but because of my Feminism (= I hated double standards and I was thinking ‘If men can be topless, I have a right to do it as well!’). I felt very uncomfortable showing my skin, but I forced myself to do it, because I was emancipated and cool :S
        Now I started to think that these late 20’s girls – who are, like me, all looking for a husband – are doing things wrong. They draw too much attention to their bodies. I think that a 20 y.o girl in slutty clothes can still attract a boyfriend, because she still has much sexual power to make a man fall in love with her, am I right? But in my opinion girls in late 20’s should dress modestly, don’t show so much skin, be kind, don’t talk about sex … For me, it would be easier to fall in love (and that’s what we girls want from a man) with a modest (but beautiful) girl than with a loud late 20’s girl showing too much skin … Unfortunately, I talked to some guys and they said they like girls in very sexy clothes more … I find it disgusting. What to do? In my heart, I feel very very uncomfortable showing my body and I only want to wear clothes for grandmothers …

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      • It’s the madonna whore syndrom (god i hate feminist mantras).
        Men with options in their sexual prime basically want sexual release, the best way to get it is to target the displays of sexual openness in women.
        A man who is more inclined to commit is more likely to seek for signs of sexual loyalty.
        Grandmothers clothes are theoretically acceptable, but i wouldn’t advise you to wear them.

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      • Heh, no, I just wanted to say I like those stylish old feminine clothing more than today’s sexy outfits.

        “… basically want sexual release, the best way to get it is to target the displays of sexual openness in women.”

        Yes, but girls never want to be there only for someone’s release …
        It’s sad because most girls probably don’t know how men feel about them. For us sex=love. We should change with men for one day to see the difference.

        Like


      • When they target sexual openness for sexual release, infatuation and even love can take place subsequently. But it’s a risky bet.

        Like


      • It’s a very risky bet. Especially if you have sex with someone with his SMV too high. I’ve heard about so many broken hearts …

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      • Try: http://blogs.modestlyyours.net/

        Female attire is like male game. It radiates confidence in your attractiveness without effort (or through a concealed effort). Mystery is the soul of attraction. What does his look mean? What is she hiding under that skirt?

        If you are letting all your assets hang out, you’re like a man on overdrive, drawing attention to yourself with crackhead game. It works out of sheer exposure, just like less-than-attractive skanks in fuck-me clothes can get picked up for a pump and dump as closing time approaches.

        We protect what we value. If you dress like a prostitute, you devalue your chief asset (your body), show it to anyone who has eyes, and reserve nothing for the men you want to spend your feminine capital on.

        Women with game know how to wear clothes. They know how to apply make-up so that we are not drawn to the conscious thought, “Hey, she’s wearing make-up.” They elicit our pursuit by hinting at their sexuality without advertising its certain availability. Just like alpha men are comfortably laconic about their accomplishments, alpha women wear blouses with the comfortable thought that they have tits under there you wouldn’t believe, and neither alpha will find it necessary to make a spectacle of themselves.

        Alpha women have to walk a fine line that men don’t. Female confidence can slip into slutitude if a girl isn’t careful. Men can be loud and still be on the manly program. Women have to stay at least partially shrouded and wait for recognition. (The deep cultural reason why men can go topless and women still can’t, preposterous as nipple-covering tops and thong bottoms make these old customs.) Sell your sex with whispers — passively, indirectly, or through subtle indications. Not with shouting — overtly, promiscuously, or through desperate looking gestures. The women who effect an air of insouciance set us in motion, girls who try too hard turn us off.

        When I see a smoking hot slot in a micro-mini, sure I’ll gawk. And I’ll thank her for giving my imagination a rest. But when I see a smoldering hot woman with that je ne sais quois outfit, I realize my work is cut out for me, there is treasure in them thar curves. We like it when easy girls make life easy. But we’re inspired to greatness by a woman who is certain she is worth the effort.

        There is a golden mean between a burka and bikini. Mastering that balance is a key element of girl game.

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      • Pure gold.

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  2. I needed to see this Heartiste. Thank you. All hope is not lost for the decent women in the world – well maybe it is, but reading this just gives some pleasure that there is still good left in being a good girl.

    While the sluts & crazies are winning in the game of getting attention and booty on the regular from hot guys, I guess in the long run it catches up to them – unfortunatley, by the looks of this article it also catches up to the poor guys that marry them. But the real question is – how will a man know the past sexual history of a woman if she lies to him? Its easy for a woman to say “oh I only slept with 2 guys” when she forgot to add on t zero to that number.

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    • sluts have tells:

      https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2008/12/29/its-easy-to-identify-a-slut/

      it’s pointless to ask a woman how many guys she’s been with; the answer will almost always be a lie.

      Like


      • Sluts n slores usually have big hair and wear tight t-shirts – if they have rackage.

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      • Aww that’s so wrong Firepower! If you are referring to me, I may look the part, but certainly dont play it.

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      • not referring to you. its not all about you, you know. from my list, what would possibly make you think such a thing

        besides, i happen to like sluts. I depend on them

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      • LOL Ok I thought you were jumping on the “hate Neecy” bandwagon here. Honestly, a good girl who wants to attract men has to dress a little edgy. We see all the women getting the attention these days are ones dressed a little on the edgy side. Men are practical but no so practical and easy to read. One minute you guys say you like decent modest women but your feet are always running to the nearest skantily clad dressed woman. LOL So a good girl has to try to find a balance to attract men YET keep them. *sigh* love, men, dating, relationships today are too much work!

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      • The problem is you’ve left no place for the actual working girls to go dresswise. How are they supposed to dress, hmm? Taking away someone’s living just so you can dress “edgy”.

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      • Dropping a zero.

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      • I have big hair. Big huge curly hair, but I was born that way. So no, you’re wrong, big-haired women are not easy! They just have amazingly awesome hair – like moi!!!!

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      • Whatever helps you sleep at night, girls with curly hair at almost always ugly.

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      • Thanks for link! And yes I never understand why men even ask a woman how many partners she has had. Do you think a woman who has had a lot of partners is going to come out and say the real number? Especially if she is trying to get him to settle down? LOL. I am not going to ask a man how many partners he’s had either. its pointless. I am sure there are character traits that signal reformed sluts and ho’s (that goes for men too). Unfortunatley, for male ho’s their sperm load during ejaculation will tell how often he has sex.

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      • Yeah like that could not vary without sex… *rolleyes*

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      • You’re right, frequent masturbation also leads to low ejaculation.

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      • how could you tell? you don’t use protection?

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      • Actually I learned it from one of my female friends. She had read it somewhere and b/c she sleeps around with a lot of different guys, she says she can tell the ones who are having sex more frequently (or masturbating) vs. the ones who aren’t. *shrugs* I asked her how she knew this and she said guys who have very little sex have huge amounts of ejaculation vs. the ones who have a lot of sex.She also said women who masturbate a lot have less orgasms. Who knows, i guess I have to consider the source when listening to some people. LOL

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      • I think a post was done on this topic according to our esteemed host he said it had to do with how hot a woman was. The hotter…the merrier…if you catch my drift.

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      • Interesting. I just thought the more one uses it the more one looses so to speak. I haven’t tried reading up on it, but maybe I will.

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      • Unfortunately, for male ho’s their sperm load during ejaculation will tell how often he has sex.

        Where did you get this from? Never heard of that.

        [heartiste: there might be something to that. of course, the tell is easily defeated by using a condom.]

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      • You can tell how often a man has sex from his load?

        Explain.

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      • Cum volume definitely increases in time since last ejaculation

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      • Immediately after sex your subsequent orgasms are weaker. You only produce about 150 million sperm a day, so a normal orgasm of 200 million will take over a day to replenish. Hence why a lot of pregnancy experts recommend you have sex once every two days to maximize chances of pregnancy.

        If you cheat, you’ll find it harder to orgasm and keep it up with your current partner. Women are very sensitive to this. Not having sex will make them think you’ve been with another woman which will make her vagina tingle.

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      • Neecy,

        I am not going to ask a man how many partners he’s had either. its pointless.

        If the man has had many, he will gladly tell you, and you will desire him even more.

        Like someone said, it’s diferent with men.

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      • I honestly don’t want to know. All i want to know is if he has any diseases. PLus I don’t think most men would be good at hiding their past. Unlike women I don’t think men feel the onus is on them to deny their hoish history.

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      • The perfect number to claim is 12 including your current partner. That way you’re not up in the teens and not a prude. Twelve is an age dependent figure though.

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    • Young and innocent is the only way to go with long term mates. Men have three choices, spread the seed and leave, find a young exclusive mate with a long reproductive career, or go extinct. Only the men pursuing low investment strategy, aka getting their rocks off, prefer sluts. Its also adaptive to hate them after sex. If a man thinks she is a dirty whore for putting out so easily, he will leave, not invest, and move on to the next slut. This will prevent him from investing in a mate who is likely to cuckold him while also possibly suckering some other into investing in what he just left behind. This is what it seems few understand. A definite sense of sexual interest comes along with a streak of hatred for sluts. It has been bred into men because of selective pressure over the eons. Porn makes this so obvious. Also note the general level of dislike for women is rising with men’s boners. As women pursue more sexual freedom, the strategy is to fuck and run. If she is too slutty, then disgust, like he has for say vomit, will preserve his resources. I think that is also why serial killers often target prostitutes. This nature is going into extreme haywire.

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      • Interesting points Chi. But here is one point i want to address. I notice a lot of males here seem to believe the younger the woman the more innocent. NOT these days. Do you know how many girls are giving blow jobs by the time they are 12 years of age? Have you read the numerous reports on how young girls IN ELEMENTARY still believe they are virgins b/c they haven’t had actual penetration but are still giving guys blow jobs (which can also give them nasty diseases in the mouth and throat?).

        Today a girl by 18 has done as much if not more than some women in their late 20’s early 30’s. Its the culture we live in. Its very difficult these days to find any woman regardless of how old or young she is who has not done some pretty crazy shit with a ton of people. So I don’t know why so many men today fool themselves into thinking that the younger the woman the less sexual experience she will have. That’s such a lie. Its one thing to say you just want a young woman, but when you start saying its b/c they have had less partners that is where I have to call BS. There are some skanky teenagers out there who have done more than I have ever done in my sexual life.

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      • It’s all about probability and assessing the risks, especially when the legal system is rigged against men.
        I don’t believe that a significant proportion of the female 12 year olds are playground skanks. But i do believe that most of the somehow attractive late 20s-early 30s metropolitan females have done some pretty nasty things. Even the most sweet and innocent chicks in that age range carry a high risk of being part of a gangbang, or a golden shower by an alpha.
        Sorry but our concern about age is legit. I am a lesser alpha so i am maybe in part responsible, but women should know better. This is what they get with that go-girl attitude.
        I’m a follower of the advice of our dark master host to avoid marriage at all costs. But i consider that marrying a chick over 25 is suicidal.

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      • Ok but don’t be surprised when you possibly find out that your under 25 darling was a skank in her teen/college years (from 16-25) and has burned herself out by 25. Its quite common these days believe me! How old do you think all those Girls Gone Wild college sweethearts are? yea they are all under 25. So by the time they reach 25 they have been there and done that.

        Like i said, I don’t have a problem with a man simply saying he prefers younger women b/c he finds them more attractive than older ones. PERIOD. But when they start saying its b/c younger women are lower risk i have to laugh b/c that is just BS these days when more young girls have done equal to more things sexually by the time they reach 25 than some women who are 25 or older.

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      • You seem to forget that there are ways to identify a slut (or even a recovering slut), and with experience, a man’s straydar can become somehow reliable.
        There is always a risk. But men have to think of ways to minimize it. Going for younger and more innocent is the way to go (along with an airtight screening for personality flaws).
        Younger are hotter too, but for ltrs and especially marriage, a man’s primary concern is sexual loyalty. A fresh young body is just the cherry on the cake.

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      • You assume I paired them together as if they go together. I meant young “and” innocent without implying young just covers it. However even barring this, who is more likely, all things being equal, to be crawling with bugs, jaded, speaks a little Spanish picked up from the nanny, or who has met that one really good liar or lay that she can’t forget? 16-18 or 25-30?

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      • Honestly Chi Town in my experience both age groups are equal these days. But younger women are surpassing thier elders in this arena. i don’t think some of you men who idealize younger women as being more chaste want to face the facts that the young women you obsess and love so much are really really skanky starting very early in their teen years. These days it starts from age 15. By the time most girls are out of college (age 22-23) they have done every damn thing under the book sexually. PLUS they are at the highest peak of attractiveness and male attention during those ages- which means they have more access and ability to sleep around with men than an older woman does.

        If you could be a fly on the wall on college campuses these days i am sure you would chnage your views. LOL

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  3. But i’m sure there are a lot of betas out there (and even a handful of dumb alphas) who would marry a woman who is a little bit too experienced. Therefore, sluts can still prey on men’s ignorance.

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    • Aaron,

      It seems to me many men like edgy women who are exciting – even for LTR’s & marriage. Especially the “good guys”. its almost like opposites attracting.

      Not saying good grils aren’t exciting – but we’re exciting in a much different way and that, today is a no go with most guys who have easy access to women who are experienced sexually and will do all kinds of crazy things with a guy they barely know.

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      • i dont know. ‘good’ girls can be kind of boring

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      • This is true….

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      • thanks – i mean, their always chattering away on thier goodness and how they want to furhter dedicate themselves to the ideal of that goodness, while moving around in those damn tight clothes.

        you good girls should wear a uniform like a tight t shirt that says “good” or “really good” or “rly rly good” on it like a uniform so we can properlyidentify you and not be just accused of looking at your rack

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      • If I refuse to get male attention through casual easy sex, dammit I’m gonna get it the easiest way I can without the worry of my oxytocin being released, being hurt, left, – and that is with the eyes. LOL

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      • has already discussed that in many threads. Men want HOT women uber alles. It just happens that many attractive women are edgy. So men put up with the bitchiness, but they would be happier without it.
        OTOH, chicks dig assholes. More than that, they dig the assholery in assholes. If their asshole boyfriend turned into a beta schlump, they would leave his sorry backside.

        Add to that the facts that
        – women like men who are preselected (i.e alphas who are the male equivalents of sluts)
        – female infidelity is more harmful than male infidelity (cuckolds who spend their time and resources on an alpha interloper’s offspring)

        and you can clearly see from where most of his male readers are coming from.

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      • Neecy,

        It seems to me many men like edgy women who are exciting – even for LTR’s & marriage. Especially the “good guys”. its almost like opposites attracting.

        haha
        Which Cosmo edition had that feminist lie? Men don’t like “edgy women” who are “exciting” (whatever that means).

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      • Then why do so many good guys go for bad girls?

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      • Neecy,.

        Then why do so many good guys go for bad girls?

        Go out for bad girl FOR WHAT? Easy lay? Of course they will. Are you kiding?

        LTR/marrige? Good ridance!

        Like


      • No a lot of these good guys end up getting into relationships with these women and get burned. Then they start hating all women. I have seen it too many times.

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    • ‘that was in my past’
      ‘i’m not like that any more’

      run

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      • ‘I’m not that person any more’
        ‘he’s just a friend’
        ‘it’s not what it looks like’
        ‘it was only sex’
        ‘i need space’
        ‘lick it out of me, cuckyboy’

        You need it spelled-out? Run, motherf*cker!

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      • Don’t forget “I’ve had my fun, now I want something more.”

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  4. the newest girl ive seen for a few weeks just told me shes been with 16 guys and is scared ill think shes a slut. o yea, and she cant cum. glad i know now what to do with her. DOOR

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    • keep banging her until one of you gets bored.

      but before you show her the door, ask her to clarify her definition of ‘been with’ – that’s always good for a few laughs.

      Like


    • Naaaahhh.

      Enjoy her. Just don’t fall in love with her.

      Tell her you love sluts, they’re more fun. It’s only a half lie, or should be. You love them for one thing, not the other;.

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  5. I once dated a chick
    who really loved my dick
    I bought her tiny clothes
    Partied with sluts and ho’s
    She lost her inhibitions
    Forgot her Asian traditions

    Then things got rough and low
    and she met someone buff and bro
    She did what she did
    because she was free
    She did what she did
    because she was like me

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  6. Neecy

    If I refuse to get male attention through casual easy sex, dammit I’m gonna get it the easiest way I can without the worry of my oxytocin being released, being hurt, left, – and that is with the eyes. LOL

    what the hell are you talking about lol

    Like


    • Since for some reason, I cant reply to that post directly, let me give the one word summary: “”Cocktease”

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    • Meaning, that I still desire the same male attention that other women who sleep around with men do, but I am only willing to go as far to get it (male attention) through his eyes and not his penis. I free myself of having to deal with the emotional/physical stress of dealing with men solely for sexual pleasure.

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      • I have come to the point where I refuse to do the same with women

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      • you shouldnt be so hungup on the sex act. you dont have any weird tats or problems down there do you. Just relax and keep the lights off

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      • 🙂 I believe sex should just happen naturally without some loser asking for it in so many ways. Damn, just let stuff happen as it will sometimes. Too many men are so used to getting it so fast they just have no tact or patience. That’s a turn off.

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      • I’m patient. I can wait a couple of hours.

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      • EXHIBIT A!

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      • Are you trying to imply that I am impatient? Not the case. It’s simply what it takes at most considering the time vector. Given the pattern, I think I am very patient. I am also tactful, in alpha-ish kinda way.

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      • I believe sex should just happen naturally without some loser asking for it in so many ways.

        You mean “naturally” for you, not for him. You sometimes use concepts like reciprocity, but that’s all platitudes. In reality, you are one solipsist snatch. It is possibly curable, but in the same order of magnitude like winning on a slot machine.

        [Heartiste: In womanspeak, “naturally” means “makes my gina tingle”.]

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      • H, yes, but did not get that impression from her post. More like “Natural is when I say it is”.

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      • She’s not the only one to blame. All women think like that.
        Women are the gatekeepers of sex. Men are the gatekeepers of commitment. As far as I’m concerned, it’s a decent deal..

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      • Gilgamesh, it’s not that this is the general MO. It’s that they are not aware of it and rationalize in which ever way. Like “let it just happen as it will sometimes (maybe, once a year)”.

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      • The MASTAH has spoken! 😉 Thanks H……

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      • (DAMMIT I just lost everything I originally typed) *sigh*

        CAD,

        As Gil has said, its a woman’s right to be picky and choosey about who she sleeps with just as its a man’s right to be picky and choosey about who he commits to. What i am saying and as Heartiste has pointed out, a woman just wants to naturally fall into sex with someone b/c we are just feeling it. Not b/c some dude keeps asking, hinting or making suggestions or remarks. It’s not *necessarily* about the time frame as it is the *connection* although it *is* sometimes about the time frame but not always.

        You can’t put a time frame on connection. But a woman just wants to feel a natural desire on her own accord to want to have sex with a man. I don’t want him or me to be thinking about it. I just want it to happen like we didn’t expect it to happen. That has happened to me before and it’s the best – even if nothing comes of it afterwards at least we weren’t thinking about it – it just happened.

        All a woman needs is one time to connect with a guy sexually and she will not feel any hesitations for future encounters (unless he does something stupid and pisses her of). Most women don’t just get the urge to sleep with every man they meet and find attractive. If anything Most times we are thinking about we’d like for him to be our man. LOL.

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      • Neecy, what a tripe! There is a fundamental difference between programming (ev/psych) and “rights”.

        It is true that these two patterns are present in sexes. That does no imply any sort of right. Humans are dynamic behavioral systems, and though they generally follow the patterns, they often deviate from them, or modify them to fit into the current (on time scale of historic human social arrangements) social prerogatives.

        For instance, the Game shifts the choice into man’s favor. Or woman’s favor, if a form of game is used.

        Addressing the later first… Some women are able to generate an impression in a man’s mind that it’s them who made the choice, while in reality, the choice was first made by the woman. This was common BFE (before feminist era). I was gamed thusly once when young and ripe for picking. Did not work out for the long run, but I still fondly remember her for the spectacle that I were able to see in retrospect–she played me like a violin.

        The former… read this blog. It provides the tools to have the choice of females and commitments. Both.

        The main reason for the existence of the Game as a system is that the deck has been stacked against men. The feminist paradigm is to shift the balance in favor of a woman, for both patterns. On one hand, to strengthen the natural “choice” pattern, and also create condition that the commitment is enforced, which mostly translate into a financial enslavement of men. Even donating sperm is no longer safe for men, laws are being enacted that make them liable for any spawn produced.

        The Game controls the horizontal, the Game controls the vertical, by making woman think she’s making choices, while the real choice is made by man, with an added bonus of choice of the degree of commitment.

        In time, when the excess of feminism will be negated (one, two generations, with sizable contingent of women in the opposing camp–as the “traditional” women do get a raw deal from feminism and it’s them who carry the procreation the most and would be instrumental in demographic shift), the Game will likely transform, get constricted by social norms similarly to times BFE, for the sake of the common goal–preservation of species, or to a degree for preservation of a cultural heritage.

        Until then, It’s Game time.

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      • CAD,
        I don’t think either gender wins out over the other. Men just want to be able to have their cake and eat it too and when you don’t get that you start saying the relationship/sexual market favors women – when it clearly doesn’t. the only thing women have the upper hand is at being able to get sex more readily than the average man and control who she gives her body to. BUT you men HATE acknowledging that you make the choices in who you marry.

        Its easier to say a woman “gamed “ you into marriage so that when she fuks you over you can take the blame off yourself. B/C when you men make the bad choices for wives and mates (which is apparently quite often) then you want to blame the system and everyone else except yourselves for being shallow and picking the wrong woman as your wife. That is the bottom line. No one forces a man into marriage. No woman can game a man into marriage or committment. He either wants to do it or he doesn’t. PERIOD.

        Maybe if you men had higher standards that went beyond your d!cks then you’d end up with better women as wives. Just a thought?
        Also There are many reasons there are things in order for wives to receive settlements in divorce. The issue is not that they get something but sometimes how much they get. But they should receive something. You men are always going on about how limited a woman has with her beauty and desirability.

        When a woman is married for many years (especially if she is a stay home wife) she gives up the possibility that If her husband were to decide one day to leave her for someone younger, hotter or just cheats on her or just says he’s done, that she has some form of support. Most likely she will not remarry after a certain age, will find it difficult to re-enter into the job market and dating market if she is over a certain age and many other things.

        Also men are more likely to cheat and have infidelity during their marriages than women. Should those women who have given him the best years of her life not receive anything for their time, giving birth to his children, putting up with his shit and raising his children and so forth?

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      • “Also men are more likely to cheat and have infidelity during their marriages than women”

        Wrong, male and female infidelity are comparable. Even if there is a slight difference in the studies, it is explained by the fact that men tend to brag, and women tend to hide their indiscretions.
        Men like variety just as much as women like the alpha cock.

        You try to use eventual male infidelity as an excuse to give women an edge in divorce proceedings. What about the cheating wife (who is the worst kind of scum evolutionarily speaking) who gets alimony, child support, and the right to stay in the family house with her alpha lover?

        I don’t care anyway. This blog is right. Any sane man has to avoid marriage like the plague.

        There are other approximations that you make that aren’t worthy of discussion. I can see now why there are so many neecy haters.
        However, keep digging in the archives of this blog, your case is not desperate.

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      • I don’t think either gender wins out over the other.

        That was the case in the previous, pre-BFE times. It is sometimes mislabeled as “patriarchy”, but that BS. There were more clearly defined gender roles and each side held their own

        Men just want to be able to have their cake and eat it too

        Projection, your name is woman.

        and when you don’t get that you start saying the relationship/sexual market favors women – when it clearly doesn’t.

        I get my cake. Average bloke — a diff story. The deck is stacked against him, in more ways than one..

        the only thing women have the upper hand is at being able to get sex more readily than the average man and control who she gives her body to.

        Generally yes. The Game is an equalizer.

        BUT you men HATE acknowledging that you make the choices in who you marry.

        And women don’t? I was not aware the majority of marriages are arranged..

        Its easier to say a woman “gamed “ you into marriage

        Not sure what you referring to. Mo woman can game me into marriage. The case I listed was general gaming into a relationship. But she was not a marriage material (lawyer girl, I were inexperienced), so that was that.

        As for my 2 marriages, I never got fucked over. The reasons they did not work were 1. Later appearance of borderline schizo; 2. Surprise discovery that the oxytocin levels dropped off after 4 years. In both cases I negotiated an exit settlement that was more than fair to me and I m with both my Xs on friendly terms. In the first case, that feminism was not in full force helped, in the second, the X is anti-feminist. I can’t complain. Lucky bastid I guess, and despite some minor misgivings that my original VLTR intent did not pan out, I am better off by a mile. I maintain STRs (2 years in avrg.) with several youngons at the same time. I suppose I earned my stripes already (procreation). Thus MY choices were for all intents and purposes good.

        Maybe if you men had higher standards that went beyond your d!cks then you’d end up with better women as wives. Just a thought?

        You got an impression that women for LTR are selected on their looks only. Nope. For betas it is a matter of availability. For alphas, it’s picking. But there are still some unknown unknowns, even with a careful screening. However with info available here and other blogs of the same mold, there is not much room for excuses. In a nutshell, 3 primary parameters are apparent:

        1. American women are fked up. Look elsewhere.
        2. Marriage at present time is a near slavery arrangement
        3. Plan your exit strategy. If you don’t, she’ll do it for you.

        Also There are many reasons there are things in order for wives to receive settlements in divorce. The issue is not that they get something but sometimes how much they get. But they should receive something. You men are always going on about how limited a woman has with her beauty and desirability.

        That was ante-BFE. Things are different. Men are losing job in 10 to 1 ratio vs women.

        When a woman is married for many years (especially if she is a stay home wife) she gives up the possibility that If her husband were to decide one day to leave her for someone younger, hotter or just cheats on her or just says he’s done, that she has some form of support. Most likely she will not remarry after a certain age, will find it difficult to re-enter into the job market and dating market if she is over a certain age and many other things.

        75% of divorces are initiated by women. 68% of that are initiated with no-fault clause.What does that tell you? Seems that it is not the men that are unable to uphold a commitment. The divorces based on husband cheating are a mere fraction of the total.

        Also men are more likely to cheat and have infidelity during their marriages than women.

        There is a slight discrepancy in favor of women (and given that women are better at hiding it, the slight margin may be actually not so slight). Most men (betas) don’t cheat, it is not economical behavior for them. Alphas, a sizable portion does cheat, but older alphas brought up in times gone by, mostly don’t. I didn’t, though the opportunities were there for grabs.

        Should those women who have given him the best years of her life not receive anything for their time,

        If they behave like decent women, they may secure the man for life.

        giving birth to his children

        Luckily, we have now paternity tests. Mommy’s baby, daddy’s maybe. At least solid 12%.

        putting up with his shit and raising his children and so forth?

        You remember family? Before feminists made a hash of the concept? It’s a two-way street. Women’s drama tendencies are harder to put up with than any kind of “shit” men generate. And children? Again, google nuclear family. In normal family, both parents raise children, each in their specific way.

        A suggestion. Given your non-understanding of these concepts, please do everyone (potential “men in your life”) and don’t marry. It would be a disaster writ large.

        Like


      • Last paragraph meant “do yourself a favor”

        Like


      • Beside doing a favor to everyone concerned. Just in the case you miss it, wouldn’t surprise me, given your tendency to “translate” everything into neecy-hamsterish.

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      • Cadnerd, Thanks for addressing her approximations that I was lazy to discuss, and that i couldn’t have addressed better.
        It’s frustrating to deal with the slow, but definitely endurant hamsters.

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      • This is exhausting and pointless. And please believe me if even i had the chance I would never marry an American male. You all are waaay to damaged beyond repair. (if this site is any indication of what’s out there). NO THANK YOU. I’d rather live with a billion cats, screw a young buck while I still can, than be connected to a miserable damaged jerk any day. I’m a pretty happy person and plan to stay that way.

        Like


      • Am not an American. A Canuck of EE heritage, just for the accuracy.

        As for damaged American men, again a clear projection. It’s the other sex that is damaged, and you don’t have to announce that you’ll never marry American men, the feeling is more than mutual. In fact, the only reason non-American men are willing to marry American women may be a Green Card. No other compelling reason comes to mind. I don’t know of a single non-American man that does not thing American women are damaged. And I know quite a few.

        Thus, enjoy your near future cat collection.

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      • Thx, I will….

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      • I can take the criticism from an American man, but for some reason when a foreigner criticizes us it just pisses me off.

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      • Oh yeah, and Canada sucks.

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      • Lara, I’m at the point where I simply do not care anymore. Any American woman who has already found her man and got lucky and found that needle in a haystack good for you. Its not worth it for a sane single woman these days to subject herself to the madness and misery.

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      • Lara, I were married to an American wench, so I’m not pulling a bunny outta hat–earned my credit to criticize.

        Canada may be sucky in some ways, but at least fiscally, it has its head screwed on semi-right. You’d see in a relatively short time how it pans out and Canada has a good chance to float above water when the big bada econ crash comes.

        There is a bunch of Canucks that are trying to rectify the suckiness aspects of Canuckian scene, the idea of all docile Canucks is rather inaccurate.

        Women, eh, nearly the same story here like south of the border, though outside big cities, the general wench population is still decent to a degree. And not as whale-bound.

        BTW, you don’t have to get so defensive, Lara. I do like your posts in general, in addition to level-headed stingray’s ones, playful what’s ones and now-and-then Nicole’s informative ones.

        Like


      • Cadnerd,
        Okay. I overreacted to your comment, I see what you were getting at now. If Neecy wants to marry a foreign man the natural thing would be for him to bring her over to his country to live with him. He would also be willing to pay for any expenses in doing so. That would be a case of him marrying her for the right reasons and having good intentions. If a foreign man wants to marry Neecy and come live in the United States he is most likely marrying her for the wrong reasons.

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  7. an easy thing a slut can do iss move someplace where no one knows her and never reveal her past

    duh

    [Heartiste: this will only work on gullible men who don’t have much experience with women. (i.e. the kinds of men that don’t turn on women.) Lying about her past or about her lifestyle won’t conceal those slut tells which are an integral part of her character and personality. Men in the know can easily detect those personality-based tells and react accordingly.]

    Like


  8. on August 2, 2011 at 4:41 pm Rollo Tomassi

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  9. This is genius. Damn good job.

    Like


  10. on August 2, 2011 at 5:41 pm greatbooksformen GBFM

    lzozolzlzlzl

    heye rosisisysy! ! i mean heartiststse!!!!

    i think you smiissppeleled buttsssxeded as buttressed and some other misssphepeleing which i corrected 4u:

    Now science has further buttsexxthed the cause of slut identification with a list of telltale slut stigmata that every man should be on the lookout for, (and which corroborate a lot of the butthex wisdom in this post), should matrimony or horniness or butthex itch compel his decision-making. And the verdict is in: a woman’s “sexual personality” matters more than the butthex group to which she belongs.
    !!!!!
    you’re wleocme no problem!! glad 2 help’!!!

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  11. Male sluts are no more suitable for marriage than female sluts.

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    • Aah, the pretty lie that so many feminist women want to keep believing. Not true at all, and Western history is proof of that. For most women, EVERY sexual encounter is fraught with emotional implications. OTOH, men can better compartmentalize feelings associated with sexual release from the emotions associated with legitimate love and connection. For hundreds of years many men had their wives and families, while they were “having a little fun” on the side, and civilization ascended to its highest heights on this arrangement. Only now, when women are trying (and failing) to do the same thing do we see things unraveling.

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      • It wouldn’t bother me at all if I had a husband who had been with a lot of women before marrying me. It would make me feel special because I was the one he married and it would also make him more attractive to me.

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      • Yes, but I wouldn’t want to take that risk. Especially since promiscuous males are still more likely to cheat. I don’t know where he’s been.

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      • Agree. I actually wouldn’t mind my husband sleeping with other women. It’s his fidelity in love that I cherish, not his fidelity in lust. So long as he uses protection, I’m happy to let him have his fun.

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      • Good luck with that!

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      • I would mind my husband sleeping around, but more because I’d feel sorry for the girls. It’s not a good idea for any woman to be a mistress of a married man. Also, I’d be paranoid about STD’s. You can’t really use protection for oral sex … That’s way too risky for me to put up with. BUT – I could live in a harem, in case I lived in some other culture.

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      • I think I’d be kind of bothered if a man had lots of partners before me, but if he’s STD-free and capable of commitment, it would be fine.

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    • Moreover, female infidelity is worse
      https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2008/11/28/why-a-cheating-woman-is-worse-than-a-cheating-man/

      This blog is a freakin goldmine.

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  12. uggh, after this article and several others, I’m quite certain my last LTR cheated on me many times. What a whore.

    The tells are always there. Often they don’t even respect you enough to lie about their ugly past.

    In many cases, she will tell you how many guys she’s been with early in the relationship, to gauge your reaction. She will often think that 16 sounds like a low number and if you don’t accept it you are a misogynist.

    Not that I would consider an LTR, but if I were looking for one I would rule out any women with more than 2 or 3 prior partners. This is the real reason men like younger women. By the time they are 27 they have had so much strange cock you’d have to be deranged to go up in that.

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  13. Smells like group therapy in here.

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  14. be careful my son ….some women have whole graveyards in their closets….

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  15. The underlying principle that unites all these traits is poor impulse control.

    The tattoo is the symbol by which you shall know them.

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    • Ah, the butt ‘stash tatoo (aka the “tramp stamp”)…

      Like


      • Hilarious. Next time I see one of those, I’m going to ask, “Why did you get a mustache tattooed on your back?”
        I hate tattoos, they are a complete dealbreaker for me.

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  16. When I say male sluts are no more suitable for marriage I mean it is morally just the same — from the standpoint of knowing or not knowing the child is yours is a different issue than what is the MORAL difference in the two. So I can see the male viewpoint of the child not being biologically yours and thinking it was for years as being horrible and totally heartbreaking and have sympathy for the male — all cheating doesn’t lead to a child so then it would be more okay, no not so. The only way the male having fun on the side would be okay would be if both parties in relationship agreed to that scenario. Not likely, probably only fly with a woman who was into swinging lifestyle. If a man can keep it a ‘secret’ and the woman either really doesn’t know or chooses not to know, and then she finds out the worst possible scenario would be if the woman had little or no experience prior to marriage. I can almost guarantee you that even if she stayed in the relationship from that point forward she would feel nothing but disgust for that man and onl be there out of financial necessity or if she’s very religious. Very religious types usually marry very religious types. If both parties go into marriage with little to no experience, like most people had in 1950s America, that probably is the most likely couple to stay together.

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    • Bla black bla…stfu

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    • Morals have nothing to do with it. The dynamics of the interactions between the sexes, and the way each gender perceives the other are deeply rooted in our hindbrains (i.e a player is a high status male and always will be / a promiscuous woman is a slut and always will be).
      The fact that a cheating wife will not necessarily be impregnated by the interloper is completely irrelevant. There is no place for such a contingency in the male hindbrain.
      Ultimately, the debate will never be settled between those who fully embrace game and evo psych (and there is more than enough material in this blog to prove them right), and those who can’t get their heads around these concepts and will continue to blabber about ethics and equality.

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      • If a woman can read and learn about these differences, she may be able to become content with the double standard. In my marriage, he can play around and I cannot, but full disclosure makes it ok.
        Gilgamesh is probably right in that it couldn’t work between one who accepts these concepts and one who is still pining for an alternative reality of absolute equality.

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      • If I found a girl with your attitude, and she looked good, I wouldn’t hesitate to marry and spend my life doing good things for her

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      • And what a great find you would be for her, if you truly “wouldn’t hesitate to marry and spend your life doing good things for her”! I think that a lack of complete sexual fidelity would be a small price for her to pay!
        It may work because we met when I was very inexperienced and he very beta, so we have learned what works for a LTR together. He has learned to be more alpha, and in return he gets a hall pass.

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  17. “If your woman can’t get an orgasm, or frets about not getting an orgasm, or goes through elaborate OCD rituals before having sex, or has a giant purple saguaro on her nightstand, you are probably dating a slut. Proceed with caution.”

    I can get that sluts are progressively less impressed by each following cock but this gives the impression that it’s ok to marry chaste frigid girls, which I disagree. Lack of orgasm is the signature trait of the whore: if a girl isn’t enjoying me it’s personal and the ultimate red flag no matter if I’m the first one: she’s a goldigger going after the status the relationship brings and after the money she believes I’m gonna spend in her, my persona reduced to a worthless disposable trait and sex viewed as a annoying obligatory tribute. Frigids can be virgins if they want, but they don’t deserve a wedding ring anymore than sluts.

    In other topic, another reason why I tend to disregard female virginity demands it’s because I have seen a number of lardasses wielding it as a reason to deserve attention and using the slut word as a weapon against their thinner, hotter competition, which brings me to the point: there was a post before comparing aging versus fat to see which was the lesser evil, in which aging won by far (unsurprinsingly). I would like to see a comparison of sluttiness vs fat this time especially because I’m not really sure how they stand. My guess is that a slighly used hottie still beats a virgin fat that no one would really dare to spoil, but after certain point, the fat would start to win.

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    • Slightly slutty hot girl (as long as she can control herself while in a relationship) over the fat one any day. I never got this whole virgin craze – I don’t feel like playing teacher in bed.

      Like


      • So it’s preferable to have some other douchebag play sex teacher to the woman you plan on investing in a relationship with? Can’t agree on that one.

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    • “In other topic, another reason why I tend to disregard female virginity demands it’s because I have seen a number of lardasses wielding it as a reason to deserve attention and using the slut word as a weapon against their thinner, hotter competition, which brings me to the point: there was a post before comparing aging versus fat to see which was the lesser evil, in which aging won by far (unsurprinsingly). I would like to see a comparison of sluttiness vs fat this time especially because I’m not really sure how they stand. My guess is that a slighly used hottie still beats a virgin fat that no one would really dare to spoil, but after certain point, the fat would start to win.”

      Money quote: “Well! I never!”

      My reply: “Maybe you should for once”

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  18. Congratulations all — I never disliked men until I read this blog. So off I go fully intending to use all my advantages in the court system and knowledge of what men are all about to bring destruction to all men who in the future I cross paths with.

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    • You’re not the only one, thundercunt.
      Just be cautious who you’re messing with. If you consider cuckoldry, you must know that there are men who would kill you and your lover, and sit in jail with a big smile on their face.

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    • I don’t think most people in here care if you hate men.

      Besides, why hate them? The majority of men are helpless to the wiles of a beautiful, feminine woman regardless of her true number. Remember a part of femininity is discretion. Women who enjoy lots of sex and variety do themselves a disservice by taking the new age feminist stance of trying to advertise your “score” and trying to convince the world you ate just like a man. Just do your thing and don’t advertise and noone will ne the wiser.

      @neecey

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    • Sad part is your hate will look no different in its eventual outcomes and effects that other womens’ “love.”

      Young men, think long and hard about that ugly fact: the impact on your life from getting married and having the court system unwind that marriage will look the same whether the woman hated you at the outset or loved you.

      Scary shit.

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    • Anonymous: Congratulations all — I never disliked men until I read this blog. So off I go fully intending to use all my advantages in the court system and knowledge of what men are all about to bring destruction to all men who in the future I cross paths with.

      Immanentize the eschaton, motherfucker.

      Please. Let’s get this party started. I’m ready for open warfare. Thirsty for it. Are you? Men happen to be quite good at war. It’s the insidious feminist termite-eating of our institutions that caught us off-guard the first time around. Not now. No more freebies, no more pulled-punches “cuz im just a girl teehee.”

      “All my advantages in the court system…” Who do you think props up that highly artificial advantage upon which you are basing your naive strategy? Who vouchsafes the consequence-free zone of your casual harridan threats and protects your anonymity? Do you think your softness would last a day in the state of nature, outside the civilizational walls built by men? Do you imagine a tribe would compromise its integrity to put up with your bitchy sense of entitlement for a minute?

      Like a woman, you say something utterly, fantastically nonsensical but packed with dudgeon (“use all my advantages in the court system and knowledge of what men are all about to bring destruction to all men”), and you expect us to respect it as minimally coherent by virtue of the sheer verve with which it is screeched.

      I wish, wish you were serious. The war of the sexes would be over faster than Desert Storm if you’d stop hiding with your skirts over your heads and come out and face us rather than casting empty taunts from the cheap seats. Stop needling your poor Stockholm-Syndrome beta-victim eunuch mates to death, and let’s talk about what you contribute to society and what you are truly owed.

      Harangue men on the street. Pull our IP addresses. Pass laws against anti-woman hate speech, or whatever it is you naifs do when you try to achieve something more complicated than breakfast.

      I would treat your utterance like the joke that it is if a working minority of your sisters and beta-flunkeys weren’t actually attempting to preserve your incoherent nonsense as a non-negotiable governing philosophy. With all the same passion and rationality you bring to the table.

      Like


  19. Gilgamesh — cockoldry, not my method of destruction — just the thought of sex with one of you vile creatures after reading this blog literally makes me gag.

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    • Most of the males here, who are not jockey boarding, are actually quite charming and would certainly know how to make your gina tingle.
      By visiting this blog, you’re actually one of the few lucky females who have the opportunity to understand the true nature of attraction and relationships. This blog is even helpful for some women who lost touch with their feminine side in this post-modern feminazi western civilization.

      Oh, and if you’re considering ass raping a man in the divorce courts, you must know that many men on this blog have ruled out the possibility of marriage. Those who didn’t know how to screen out misandrist thundercunts, even those who think that men can easily be fooled by catty displays of sweetness and innocence.

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    • Ironically, women who say they’re immune to the charms of those with game are the most vulnerable. They tend to have riden a lot of cock so they fell for it from naturals a hundred times before. They fall for it a hundred and one times pretty easily. Like you.

      Like


    • I’ve got something else that will make you gag. But we can work on controlling your gag reflex. It just takes practice.

      If reading this blog makes you abhor the idea of sex with a vile male, then congrats, you’ve discovered your true identity as a man-hating lesbian cunt. You will have tons of company in your new chosen lifestyle – they will all be bitter, angry, and dysfunctional, but they will empower you with their cries of ‘go girl’.

      If you were a feminine, attractive woman, that men actually had interest in, then reading this blog would be entertaining and enlightening, not sickening.

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  20. Forget finding sluts. I am feeling the need to bury my financial treasure in a safe place There will always be plenty of sluts.
    Normally, I do take the advice that Financial Chick blurts out …. but especially during and after a full-on and prolonged doggie style fuck.
    Since she is well placed in High Finance she has by definition a lot of self control. This is good on two levels. First, she can keep her mouth shut around most everyone, OTOH, after being pounded from behind like a dumb animal for a half hour or so she becomes an entirely different woman. All at once she wants to say true things. She (honestly)uwants to save her friends from disaster. Her bitch shield is momentarily put away.I always take notes and trust her highly. At least while she was still unable to stand-up.
    Then its run to your broker and send all your fortune .in the form of physical gold to the care of My Uncles Bank
    It is located above the treeline just outside of Aspen Colorada. If you give them my name they might still kill you on general principleafter what happened last fall0) but afterward the BOSS would punish them..if they appeared to survive..

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  21. Gilgamesh — extremely doubtful that I would find anyone on this board charming or in the least bit appealing — I do consider myself lucky though that I now know men’s true nature — I do agree most on this board should not consider marriage — I was not a misandrist until I read this board — so congratulations, mission accomplished.

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    • I’m fearful that you’re gonna try to get a revenge on some poor beta chump, so i’m gonna try to get you back to your senses.

      First, you don’t need this blog to know about men’s true nature. Men are well-known pigs, they love sex, even homosexuals complain about it.

      Second, yeah, enlightened men don’t like sluts. Why? Because our genetic programming was not made to suit your idealism, but to ensure the propagation of the species. Basically, men dislike the idea of someone else blasting in the pussy of their wives, in order to avoid taising someone else’s kids.

      Third, women are fucked up too. They are hypergamic, impressed by assholes, and once love is gone, they can be amoral and downright evil.

      Finally, i don’t think you’ve read enough of this blog, or that you have enough knowledge about the basics of Game and evolutionary psychology. You should try, it’s fun. Men are not vile creatures, they’re sometimes adorable, just like when they are attracted to weakness in a woman, they have the instinct to protect her. How sweet is that?

      You’re not the first or the last fembot lesbo-cunt to hate men for who they are. Many are still around, in a house full of cats.
      Male friendly ladies generally have better prospects.

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    • So, (female) Anonymous, all men and especially the ones here are like this for you?

      Like


      • Grow up, put down The Vagina Monologues and stop the misandry… maybe (once you stop going “Where are all the good men? They ALL suck!”) you might be pleasantly surprised.

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    • If you read between the lines, you’d realize that this is not the “true nature” of men.

      Like


  22. thesecond — wrong, I shoot all men who approach me down — none of them have a chance — I would laugh in the face of the so-called PUA.

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    • You are clueless about the concept of game. Around here, we have women figured out. Your declaration is as ridiculous as a heterosexual man bragging that he’s not attracted to facial beauty and tits and ass.
      Seduction is what turns a woman on, despite your claim of being a special little snowflake.
      I’m done talking to you, keep reading this blog or GTFO, you’re still clueless. Anger and ignorance are a bad mix, bit i don’t have the patience to fix you.

      Like


      • I can’t believe you actually posted three replies earnestly trying to engage her bravado. Couldn’t you smell her fishy bait from a mile away?

        It’s instructive, though, to see just how far your direct and reasonable (if pointed) approach will get a man in this conflict of our age.

        How do you negotiate with this level of detachment from reality?:

        http://evebitfirst.wordpress.com/2011/05/18/a-man-is-a-rape-supporter-if/

        The answer is: you don’t. You don’t negotiate with terrorists. You make an example out of their annihilation.

        Under this pretence he took Ramiro, and one morning caused him to be executed and left on the piazza at Cesena with the block and a bloody knife at his side. The barbarity of this spectacle caused the people to be at once satisfied and dismayed.

        — Machiavelli, The Prince, chapter VII
        http://www.constitution.org/mac/prince07.htm

        Get in fighting trim. Don’t put up with their intimidation anywhere, not here, not at home, not on your job. We don’t have to. As you just witnessed, it’s all one gigantic bluff puffed up to an enormity by the sighs of ten-million frightened betas.

        Like


    • You shoot down all men who approach you? Or to phrase it another way, you’re a lesbian or asexual. Either way, it’s pretty clear you hated men long before this blog.

      I’m not sure how you imagine you’ll attract men if you reject them. Your scheme to screw men over requires you to make them like you.

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      • > I’m not sure how you imagine you’ll attract men if you reject them.

        Isnt that what the rules and other such trope tell girls to do? Maybe one of these days I should read that crap but whenever I come across a Cosmo I have to put it down after 5 minutes for fear of acute brain damage…

        Like


      • Pushing a guy away can make him more attracted to you, but not shooting down all guys. You need to flirt with guys to make them like you. If you show outright hostility that’s not attractive.

        It’s the difference between saying a girl’s nose wiggles when she talks and saying she’s a fat whore. Just as you have to be subtle, she has to be subtle too.

        Like


    • Dear Angry Anonymous Cunt with sharp teeth:

      Skilled PUAs are adaptable, versatile, flexible, resourceful and masterfully cunning. Should you be approached by one and engaged in conversation you’d never know it.

      Regardless the negative energy that emanates from your fishy bacteria infested snatch is plenty to drive away even the most innocent and genuine choir boy asking for the time of day. A skilled PUA lives in the mind frame of abundance, which for you means we wouldn’t waste our time. We’d focus on younger, healthier targets that non-verbally communicate a yearining for cock.

      Read Gilgamesh’s reply again when you are in a neutral state so you can grasp the purpose of this blog. This is an active relational knowledgebase; an informational exchange on the cutting edge of the science, artform and application of seduction.

      There is much you can learn here. Spend some time in the archives and educate yourself- post some intelligent questions. Or get the fuck out and go read cosmo.

      Like


      • To the original ANON, I am sorry I am not laughing at you but this made me laugh so hard I am crying.

        “the negative energy that emanates from your fishy bacteria infested snatch ”

        OMG LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!

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  23. Another core Chateau concept confirmed by science. Men cheat because variety is the spice of life, and men with raging libidos are more likely to act on the desire for variety. Women cheat because they are unhappy with their beta schlubs (often) or they feel neglected by their emotionally distant alpha dreamboats (not as often).

    Are you implying that one is more excusable than the other?

    And sorry if this has been discussed, but this really mystifies me. What is it about putting out on the first/second date that makes a girl a slut? What’s the big deal???

    And before someone accuses me of being defensive, I’m a virgin.

    Like


    • well let’s see, the average attractive young woman in my city goes on roughly one date per week. Assuming she slept with only half of these dates, she is racking up 26 partners in one year. Multiply that by a four-year cock carousel ride, and you have one nasty, used up skank.

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      • Those numbers seem way off. I would buy the one date per week number, but unlikely always with a different guy and unlikely to be 50% success rate for the guys.

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      • What? That’s how you have it in U.S.? 26 partners in a year? Maybe you are exaggerating, D.E. You should talk about it with your female friends … You’ll see that it’s not that bad. 26 partners in a year sounds like prostitution to me. Those girls sure have serious issues in their heads. Don’t talk so bad about them, please.

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      • Eh.. I’d say that’s wrong. Only because it assumes she’s going to sleep with the guy.

        Remember, not every guy is a smooth operator. These ladies date the herbs too. Especially if he’s paying.

        So lets assume only 20% of those 52 she slept with on the first date.
        That’s 10 a year(10.4 actually But lets round down).
        Multiply that by 4 years and…

        40… Oooh… that’s still bad.

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  24. Very eloquent and whatnot. Since I’ve got problems in the head, I tend to date sluts (briefly but serially). Not having all those statistics sorted out, I’m nontheless the carnal expert on all things from the magic slutdom of this country.

    Not to give away all of my far less research-quotey post on the topic, but at the risk of getting down all squintey old wise Chinese man slut-fucker, I’ll quote me:

    “Since the slut is unable (or at least less likely) to bond on the same level, she will substitute her emotional contribution with games and drama. She’ll have access through emotional connection and leverage it to validate herself, keep the daemons of her childhood fed that created her emotional deficiency in the fist place. This deficit will weigh on the relationship, and the emotional debt will accrue interest with the other party. In other words, if you date a slut, it’ll make you crazy – to feed her crazy.”

    More about all that over this way:http://two.cedonulli.com/2011/08/definition-of-slut/

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    • That quote about sluts using emotional games to substitute intimacy that theyve lost to too many expectations being shattered is true. The problem for many guys is although they claim to hate drama, an emotional, needy hottie will have the interests, resources and loyalty of a man much more readily than a levelheaded, logical sweetheart. So these sluts keep getting married and these “sweethearts” stay on blogs like this asking men who will never be interested in them how to land a man. The men keep giving them terrible advice but it plays into their need to be good girls and have fairytails come true. So they keep listening as they get older and fatter and eventually they fade away into cat lady hell.

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      • True enough. Drama rush. Walking outside to my car being on fire. Nice girl can’t compete. Wake up in the morning surprised that the latest little monster didn’t stab me in my sleep.

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      • Even nice girls have limits. If you push a human being beyond their capacity, they’re going to snap. I don’t recommend it.

        Some guys claim that women are crazy, but it’s a sort of an abusive dynamic. The guy provokes the woman to abusive behavior same as some supposedly abused women provoke their men into hitting them.

        I don’t take the sob stories of women or men who seem to somehow always fall victim to crazy. You select these people and you stay with them or interact with them despite their being volatile…and most of the time if they’re not violent enough for your tastes, you push them into it and then turn around crying foul.

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      • I once got attacked with a knife by a crazy girl because I hugged her after hearing that a guy she liked was ill. Crazy people have a strange narrative in their head that means small things can be an acceptable reason to kill someone.

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      • That doesn’t match with the reality of the female commenters here. Most of us, within days of our “lightbulb moment”, if one was needed, find ourselves much more attractive to the right kind of guys.

        …and some of us are in very non ideal situations. I don’t always kiss and tell, but even in a country where almost every local guy no matter how screwed up, pussified, and pathetic he is, thinks he’s too good for me because of my ethnicity, I managed to get a visiting engineer to lay a claim. Crazy story, but still, I’m the fattest, ugliest, and maybe oldest chick on this blog, and I’m getting mine.

        If I, of all women, can get a dude who travels constantly and has many options, to remember her name and then some, then I’m sure the younger, prettier sweethearts here can land a husband.

        Just don’t be a bitch. It’s that simple.

        If you’re a bit of a slut, be that and be okay with it. Some of us need sex every once in awhile, to be okay. Some of us don’t need the paperwork to feel like we’re in a relationship. Some of us can love a guy who’s broke or a bit damaged or whatever. Some of us don’t mind being the other woman.

        I think you’re mistaking the sweetheart attitude with some kind of prudish innocence. We’re mostly sweet with a little moxy here because we’re just not bitches, not because we’re nuns or something.

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      • Heh. That lightbulb happen to have a wall attached to it?

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      • I haven’t hit the big wall yet. People think I’m a fat student until I show them my ID.

        This was part of the problem pre. I was always well treated, compared to other women in a similar situation, so I had no scale or sense of proportion. I’d get butthurt about perceived slights that were really just circumstantial.

        I made the mistake of, “attributing malice to things that could be explained by mere stupidity”.

        So I didn’t need to prune up before seeing the light. Looking for answers for my little princess heartbreak was enough.

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      • So your fugly old ass fucked a “traveling engineer” and now you think you have everything figured out?

        “…reality of the female commenters on here” did you all exchange contact info and have a skype session or something?

        This post is pure vaginal discharge and reeks heavily of a hamster spun brain fart.

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      • AlphaAnon, I live in Israel, and I’d rather be a traveling engineer’s bitch than a nice Jewish boy’s dirty little secret. Arabs and arsim are just totally out of the question.

        I’m not pretty enough or blonde enough or White enough to override the sheeple here’s xenophobic instinct, and unlike before I came here, I’m no longer going to keep trying. I understand that it is futile and to continue to attempt it is volunteering for pain.

        So yeah, I have got it all figured out, thanks to the honesty of the guys here.

        I don’t see how accepting one’s limitations and utilizing one’s options based on realism is hamstering.

        I’m getting my needs met. He’s getting his met. Everybody respects everybody and can actually be seen together without having to hide anything from anybody’s mommy. Then we can have coffee and conversation in the morning.

        Look down on me if you like, but when your bitch is my age, we’ll see if anybody with options wants to shag her. I won’t even put an actual date in the challenge.

        As far as the women on this blog, many of us are bloggers ourselves. We read each other and keep in touch, and some of us have been here for more than 2 years. I imagine some people could be lying about themselves, but since offline and online life often overlap in the truth seeking sector of the blogosphere, that would be a kind of stupid thing to do.

        I’m constantly referring guys I know offline to this blog, and I don’t think I’m alone in that. So I have to keep it on the real.

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      • Point taken.

        However you could have condensed both your posts to simply state something similar to:

        “I’ve accepted the limitations of my SMV, and I like cock that will have coffee with me in the morning, as opposed to keeping me a secret. Other women should accept reality and do the same.”

        I remember this 22yr old 8.5 that started sucking me off in the bathroom at a bar only 2 hours after I met her. We later fucked for hours in my small 325i. I jammed a water bottle nozzle up her ass and she finished me off with a rimjob and guzzling my nut down her throat. The windows were fogged up like Ripley’s sleeping incubator at the start of Aliens. After sex she divulged that she loves being a slut and she actually wasn’t in school and lives with her boyfriend- contrary to our initial chit chat. Heh.

        We went for coffee in the morning.

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      • AlphaAnon, actually that kind of thing is exactly what I avoid. I am technically a slut, but I’m not a stupid one. I’m a wife who found herself in a situation of having to get her needs met elsewhere because her husband aged out, and now I just need a respectful affair with someone who isn’t dead inside.

        I don’t enjoy being a slut, but I enjoy being a miserable old touch starved bitch even less. So being a slut is a lesser evil. I’m not reclaiming the word to make it less derogatory. I’m just saying that it’s a better option than suicidal depression.

        Operating in that context, I had to find a guy who knew how to have an affair. The casual thing is a waste of time.

        At some point a woman has to accept her fate and be honest with herself about what she needs or wants and what she’s capable of getting.

        For a woman like me, I’m never going to be pretty enough for most men to want to shag me, but I am cool enough to be loved. I was loved already, just not sexually anymore due to life happening, so I knew I could be loved again…and I wasn’t going to settle for less since I don’t have to.

        Hot bitches have trouble garnering more than infatuation. Cool chicks get loved, even if they’re not so hot. Way of the world.

        Some guys here’s wishful thinking may be otherwise, but these are the facts on the ground. I know my SMV is low, so I had to focus on my collector value and utility. I’m not a slick new Ferrari. I’m the old Ford truck that is low maintenance, easy to repair, and dependable when the road is rough.

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      • “At some point a woman has to accept her fate and be honest with herself about what she needs or wants and what she’s capable of getting.”

        BINGO NICOLE!

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      • “…reality of the female commenters on here” did you all exchange contact info and have a skype session or something?

        OK, I KNOW that I made a reply to this. What I said was….

        I can say the same thing about male bloggers and commentors here and on the man-o-sphere. How are they so sure about the day-to-day dealings of other males.

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      • @Anonymous

        Many men get engaged because of infatuation. Infatuation can last for a few months, even a few years. A man (especially an inexperienced beta or an ignorant alpha) can be infatuated with a slut, but a long-term commitment, sustained by a deep emotional bonding and high levels of oxytocin, is more likely to happen when the woman falls more in the sweetheart category.

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  25. Poke the beast and it acts like a petulent child stomping off in a temper tantrum — I’m not going to talk to you any more — boo hoo

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  26. What about being able to identify a cunt.

    Linda Evangelista certainly seems to be one.

    “Ms Evangelista told a magistrate that she required $46,000 ($A43,000) a month in child support from her former lover if she was to maintain both their four-year-old and her own high standards of personal grooming.”

    http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/world/evangelista-wants-43000-child-support/story-e6frg6so-1226107276508

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  27. hey fags, any girl that where’s a white fur coat is tots slut.

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  28. Why is this blog now fraught with women?

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    • Learn something from them.

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    • Perchance for the very reasons women are attracted to game?

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    • Probably because the feminists have been linking to it.

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    • Because women’s blogs and websites are boring. The Hamsters’ need the stimulation.

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      • women’s blogs are lame as fuck, and they censor and block any commenter that makes the slightest bit of rational sense. women are lemmings, herd animals, and their blogs reflect this. it’s all about consensus, not original thinking.

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      • curiously, the same can be said of leftist blogs.

        left = feminine

        right = masculine

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      • DiamondEyes

        left = feminine

        right = masculine

        l
        Yes. Think about the way leftists react (think Winsconsin) and you’ll see the same type of emotion-driven rather than thought-driven response to criticism.

        Obama would never be elected if only men voted.

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      • Wow, bold statement considering that this blog is one giant sausage fest.

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  29. Too much estrogen in the comment board of this blog.

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  30. Men cheating vs. women cheating…..

    Women cheating is the ultimate nuclear bomb because you can get impregnated and the beta chump can be forced to raise the bastard child unbeknownst. This is why female fidelity is the sine qua non and marrying sluts is statistically so dangerous.

    I am not crazy about the whole “slut vs. nonslut” argument.. not buying it. The ultimate metric is age. A slutty18 year old has only slept with 5-10 guys max. A 35 year old has slept with 20 (and that’s a good girl — that’s one guy per year!!), probably closer to 50. The clear logic is dating women over 19 is high risk if you are looking for wifey.

    Cultural marxism stauchly opposes women getting married before sleeping with 30 men, because they should be “liberated” instead of repressed by patriarchal marriage. Following this idealogy is suicide for women’s sanity. The luscious beauty of young women is suppressed and we are supposed to like shrieking slutty saggy 30 something hags…. unaided by years of plastic surgery. The media can’t shut up about how hot these aged actresses are!

    The big benefit of young women is male sanity… you can have kids at a leisurely pace and not being terrorized by her biological clock. 10 years into marriage you aren’t chained to this freakish ghoul (which is what women over 40 look like unless their best friend is a plastic surgeon).

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  31. How much of what women report is just ex post facto rationalization. She cheated because she got a strong tingle. It’s not like a girl is going to fess up and say “I got wet when he played the guitar so I fucked him”. She’s going to make up some shit about it being justified because her boyfriend doesn’t do X, Y, and Z.

    Either way, she’s still garbage. Committing to a girl who has even cheated once is a HUGE mistake. Those girls are for fun, not for marrying.

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  32. Identification is not easy. What I tend to do is look for cues that she wants me (flirty looks…) and keep them in mind but wait a little to see if she’s going to initiate the kiss. If she does, not waiting enough time for me to kiss her, it really turns me off.

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  33. How to identify the perfect ass: the science
    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,191622,00.html

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  34. Now that’s some science we can get behind.

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  35. I wish I knew this stuff when I was younger. Was engaged 2 years to a total slut who put out immediately. Would have saved me so much… Life. Another slut indicator is when a girl nonchalantly talks about sex. This one girl told me how she likes giving her BF head, showed me her boobs for no reason, and came to my hotel room on a college trip clad in revealing lengerie to “cuddle.” She liked me enough to dump her BF twice in an attempt to become my GF, but I flat out rejected her both times because I knew she was a total slut. Every guy thought I was nuts, but I knew better than to put myself through the ringer once again. Sluts are sluts. You can’t reform them. Don’t try. Stay away. As cliche as this may sound, guard your heart.

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  36. Neecy,

    Good commenting, but in the final analysis, what motivates female promiscuity is immaterial.

    What matters is that a woman with more than 3 partners in a lifetime is a very bad risk for marriage.

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    • Hmmm. I guess you’ll be marrying 12 year olds then. LOL J/K! Honestly, these days that’s pretty impossible for most women to meet that criteria. If that is key for you, then don’t get married. I would say on avergae most women between 15-30 have had at MINIMUM 5 partners. And this is just boyfriends, not casual sex encounters.

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      • well then in that case its impossible for a lot of us smart guys to get married, be emotionally supportive, share our money etc

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      • Honestly, I feel that is why so many good guys just marry up the bad girls. b/C maybe they can’t find any decent ones and just say eff it. I know there are still plenty decent women left, but they are not the majority. Society has created a monster with this sexual revolution that tells women having lots of unnattchaed sex is empowering. *sigh* oh well….

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      • No, I don’t think most women had minimum of 5 partners … I know girls who had only one or two. Plus, there are still many women who don’t have casual sex at all.

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      • *let me repeat* MOST women MOST (key word MOST) have had a minimum of at least 5 partners in their lifetime. This doesn’t mean they were having casual sex and being hoish. Could simply be b/f’s or past fiances/ monogamous relationships. If we were to add in the number of “hook ups” most girls start having early on (especially in college), there is no way in HAYELL an average woman in America (i don’t know where you are from) has less than 3 partners by the time she is 25.

        I worked in pharmaceutical sales where many of the girls are hired fresh out of college. There are often very many good looking young guys who work in that industry and better believe when they go to training they have their pick of the litter. You should see these hoochies at trainings hooking up and having sex with everyone! It was insane. Some of them even had b/f’s and fiancés at home. And it was this way at every company I worked. Some of these chicks were barely 24! I won’t even talk about what goes on college campuses.

        So There is no way in the current sexually loose society we live in (where it tells women that having as much sex as she wants is “EMPOWERING” ) that most women will have 3 partners or less. NO WAY possible. They are the exceptions and not the rule. I went to a very popular university and when I looked at some of these chicks go buckwild once they got off mommy and daddy’s doorsteps I find it really hard to believe the average American woman who has attended college has less than 3 partners by the time she is 25. Hell I don’t even think they have less than that at 18!

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      • “… in the current sexually loose society we live in (where it tells women that having as much sex as she wants is “EMPOWERING” )”

        It might be somewhat empowering, because in the past all the worth a woman had as a human being was probably dependent of what she did sexually.
        Some time ago I’ve heard a bunch of older men talking about a particular woman. She is very successful in her job and is very proud of herself. But these men were talking about her youth and what a whore she was when she was young and that it’s silly how proud she is now. Like she should be ashamed of herself because she was a huge slut.
        It is empowering to separate your sexual worth from a worth as a human being. In the past a woman who was a whore probably didn’t have a right to be proud of herself and was treated like shit.

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      • But I agree with you that it’s getting worse these days. Casual sex not only that it is not a taboo anymore, it’s almost like you are not ‘normal’ if you are not doing it. I always had that feeling, but I had very slutty people around me. I felt like I’m not normal because I don’t want to have sex like they do.
        I think it’s very sad because also the media today says to young girls that it’s almost weird if you don’t have casual sex. Unfortunately, I know some girls who have to drink before they are able to have sex like that :S
        So you might be right about the numbers as well, I don’t know. It’s definitely getting worse and worse.

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      • Maya I’d say out of 10 of my female friends/acquaintences only 4 of us don’t have casual sex – meaning if we do its a RARE occurrence. I had it ONE time with a guy i just could not resist. It felt like I was having an out of body experience everytime we were around each other. We had a major sexual connection that couldn’t be denied and we went for it. I did however know him b/c we worked together. But those kinds of connections are special and Hardly ever happen.

        Its the culture and time and yes if you don’t have regular casual sex you are a weirdo or prude to most people.

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  37. And before someone accuses me of being defensive, I’m a virgin

    LOL !!!

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  38. I’m not pretty enough or blonde enough or White enough to override the sheeple here’s xeno phobic instinct,

    How I missed Nicole!!!! The years come and go, and she still believes that only evil xeno phoby explains male desire.

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    • Xenophobia certainly explains your selective reading.

      If you’re going to read my posts at all, you should read them more carefully, and reply thoughtfully.

      Once you realize that a certain degree of xenophobia is normal, you can better keep your own in check so that it doesn’t become debilitating.

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  39. Points for Nicole.
    I work in a group with a lot of very talented, generally wealthy professionals who have come from all parts of the world.
    Here is the secret for getting along: Consciously realize that some of your partners look down on your clan as unter-menchen. Consciously realize that you were brought up to feel the same way towards them (and maybe everybody else).
    Then take a deep breath and try to begin to see how much that gives you in common. Then just do your job as best you can and never, ever, ever, disrespect a partner. You may think it, but do not say it – because you can be sure that he/she has been all along showing you the same forebearance.
    And, yeah, do not fuck their wives and daughters. There is that,

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  40. Anonymous, AlphaAnon, 19is2old, Celeste… are all the same person, one schizophrenic giant troll.
    Beware of the icons next to each commenter’s name. If they are similar, the IP address is the same.

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  41. Hooray for sexually liberated women!

    Personally, I think the feminists did us a big favor with that one. 🙂

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  42. […] – “Identifying Sluts: The Science“, “How to Deal with a Girl Gaming You“, “Beta of the Month“, […]

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