A Girl’s Dilemma: The Appreciating Asset Boyfriend

A foreign girl [country of residence redacted to protect privacy], cute but not so pretty that she would elicit crippling approach anxiety from the average beta, writes the following:


I’m writing to ask for advice – I’m sure you get this a lot, but I will be truly grateful for any form of response. I’ll be as succinct as I can.

I’m [early 20s], [non-American], and a very happy girlfriend of an alpha. I met him [a number of] years ago and it was pretty much love at first sight, he was not like all other men who seem like children compared to him. I’ve been chasing him for two years but he was always involved or interested in other girls. We were always good friends but even after I told him I loved him he said he didn’t see me that way, even though we had slept together a couple times.

But now we are together and I’ve never been happier. When I think about other men I’ve slept with I feel disgust and I didn’t like it (I thought I was one of those girls who just couldn’t enjoy sex) [ed: a lot of female “libido problems” would disappear if such women started fucking alphas. this is something the feminist and therapist lobbies will never tell you] and I somehow always ended up in charge. When my boyfriend is dominant, I feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

He was always smart and very intelligent but lacked motivation. But since we started dating, he seems very focused on studying (we are in the same [graduate level] course), getting better [occupational field] qualifications (he’s even enrolled me for the same [credentials] he’s pursuing) and finding a high paying job. I can’t say I object, but I feel like I should be doing the same for him.

I gave up smoking to pay for gym equipment and membership (although he said he’ll pay for both, since it’s a gift to himself) and started putting more work into studying, but I feel like it’s not enough. He jokes that he loves me the way I am unless I gain weight, which I would never do. I try to engage in his hobbies (he occasionally likes [male-oriented hobby], which incidentally I do too). But is there anything else I can do to keep him pleased with me? Do you know if some gym classes (like yoga or pilates) are better for making girls more attractive quicker?

I attach a picture. I know my nose is quite big and my chin is too manly [ed: her nose is big, but her chin and jawline are not too manly], but I cannot afford plastic surgery and my boyfriend says I’m still too young to even think about it.

Anything you write will be very helpful, I really don’t want and can’t afford to lose him and go back to either being alone or dating boys or macho idiots.

I write to you because my friends are not objective – your writing is harsh, but usually right to the point without the sugarcoating. And, well, my girlfriends have no experience with men like my boyfriend.

Thank you in advance, I really hope you will find the time to help a girl become a better woman.

Best wishes,


Before I, or the more helpful commenters, can give you the answers you need, it’s important to understand the dynamics of your relationship with your alpha boyfriend. Having no personal experience with you or the way you and your boyfriend behave together, all we can go on is what you wrote in your email, and your attached photo. For instance, I have to assume your boyfriend really is the alpha you claim he is. And I have to assume you are as happy with him as you say you are. Without those assumptions, I can’t offer any advice that isn’t tainted in its premises, and therefore useless. Your honesty, then, is assumed for purposes of discussion.

Right off the bat, I will make a prediction that your relationship with him won’t last. I know it shakes you to the core to hear this, but your history with him leads me to this conclusion. I wish I could tell you otherwise, and I hope I’m wrong because you write like a sweet girl. And, no, my prediction has nothing to do with your looks (though if he is an alpha male with numerous options in the dating market, I should warn you that, despite your cuteness and slimness, your looks are probably not competitive enough with the sorts of girls he could conceivably attract).

The warning sign for impending relationship fracture is the two years you spent “chasing him” while he was banging other girls. This is the action of a man who is not wholly enamored of your feminine charms. It may seem a contradiction to you because you read this blog and know that it counsels men to reconstruct the seduction process so that the girl does the chasing, (and we can see how well it worked on you), but there are differences between game and genuine apathy. This boyfriend of yours likely falls in the latter category.

Now I’m going to tackle your other admission against interest: your boyfriend’s focused pursuit to raise his status since he began formally (i.e., exclusively) dating you.

When men get into comfortable relationships, what normally happens is a slackening of the masculine drive to excel. There is even scientific evidence for this; after marriage, men in a variety of occupations — science, math, business — experience a reduction in their productive output. The most parsimonious explanation for this phenomenon is that once a man has landed a woman and codified it with a marriage contract or a commitment to date exclusively, the fire in his belly slowly burns out because he no longer feels a compulsion to impress potential mates.

But in your relationship, your boyfriend has done the opposite; he has stepped up his striving for personal achievement and, consequently, higher male status. Should he succeed, he will be more attractive to more women with better looks. This is bad news for you, because… say it with me…


There are two main reasons why a man would suddenly become motivated to excellence after he starts dating a girl (and before they have had any children together).

Reason #1: He has shot out of his league.

That is, he is equal or lower value than the girl, and this subconscious recognition fills him with anxiety. He can’t believe he is dating such a prize female, so he works extra hard to keep her around.

Reason #2: He has settled.

Sometimes a man decides to settle for a girl who is less attractive than the kinds of girls he could get if he put a little effort into it. Men normally do this because they lack confidence, game, or energy to pursue higher quality prospects, or they have settled because the girl is a low maintenance rebound from a previously painful breakup. What then happens is that these men feel trapped in their less-than-ideal relationships, and become motivated to improve themselves so that they can leave the relationship without enduring too much celibate downtime between the comforts of the ex’s pussy and any future pussy. It’s the “monkey swinging from branch to branch” theory of relationship management.

My conclusion — and I really do hate bringing you this news, but I suspect it’s something you knew all along or you wouldn’t have written this blog in desperation seeking advice — is that your boyfriend falls into category #2, based on the information you have divulged about your history with him.

Your dilemma showcases the inherent tension in all male-female couplings: a woman’s sexual market value will nearly ALWAYS depreciate after her early 20s, while a man’s sexual market value can conceivably appreciate for DECADES more. This tension underlies the mechanics of almost every jot and tittle of our feelings when desire overcomes us. It is the poison pill slipped into the chalice of delight.

Since I fear your relationship with your boyfriend is doomed, I suggest you enjoy the remaining time you have with him to the fullest, but keep an eye out for replacement suitors. Don’t dismiss men out of hand because you “have a boyfriend”; think about practicing your dormant flirting skills, even if you don’t intend any interaction to lead anywhere.

If… IF… I am wrong about the dynamics of your relationship (and this possibility does exist), and your boyfriend does truly love you and want to be with you and only you for a long time, there are a few things you can do to reinforce his attraction for you.

  1. Get a nose job. You’re not too young for rhinoplasty. I don’t know why your boyfriend is telling you that, unless it’s to make you feel better. You can easily boost your attractiveness rating by a half to a full point with a smaller nose.
  2. Don’t ever gain weight. You’re doing well on that score.
  3. Since you’re already slim, you can improve your body by toning it up. This means weightlifting. Hit the gym and do squats, presses, and triceps exercises. Don’t worry about “becoming too muscly”. That’s just an excuse fat and lazy girls use to avoid the weights. No woman becomes too big from weightlifting unless she takes steroids or works out seven days a week and eats like a pig.
  4. All the girls I see going and coming from a local strength yoga class have the most beautifully righteous asses I have bore witness to on any women. I suggest you join a strength yoga class. The cause and effect may be backwards, but it’s worth the membership if there’s a chance you will achieve an ass like that.
  5. Stop supplicating to your boyfriend. A lesson in basic human psychology is in order. The more you act like a sycophant — abiding his every trivial wish, excessively lavishing love and unearned praise on him, pretending to enjoy all his hobbies — the more he will begin to believe you are unworthy of his commitment, particularly since you do not bring incredible beauty to the table. You need an inner game correction. Make (small) demands of him, temper your flattery, have your own hobbies. Play a little hard-to-get. Be coy, not slavish. Be sexy, not slutty. Be feminine, not desperate. You may even want to flirt with other men and try to make your boyfriend jealous. Don’t overdo this, though. If he’s as alpha as you say he is, he’ll have no trouble upping the jealousy ante with his own flirtations.

Men who have good game will play hot-cold-hot-cold with women because it builds attraction. Men with experience know that playing a male version of hard-to-get is catnip to women’s sexual psyches. Women are especially vulnerable to this sort of seductive manipulation, because it is essentially a co-opting of their own devious courtship tactics.

Women naturally tease, feint and misdirect because it is in their nature to do so; such behavior helps screen the unflappable alpha males from the bewildered betas. Men do not naturally tease because all their screening is done within seconds of seeing a girl; her beauty, or lack of it, is comprehended instantly.

But once a woman falls in love, as you have done, she surrenders all possession of the faculties which served her well during the courtship dance. A woman in love is a woman stripped of all her armor; she is exposed. You are exposed. Your emotional nakedness prances around every word you write like a frantic sprite.

It is possible for a woman to keep a beta male slavishly devoted to her by pushing him away and pulling him back with enticements of sexual or emotional gratification. Ironically, the very success of such manipulation renders the beta male more unattractive, resulting in a self-defeating loop for the woman. You should not worry that pulling away from your boyfriend will make him unattractive, but you should worry that too much manipulation will drive him away. While male manipulation of this sort is highly effective on all women, the equivalent female manipulation is much less effective on the most desirable men, the alpha males. An alpha male will simply exercise his many options to secure replacement women should his current lover become too burdensome or wrapped up in gamesmanship.

However, the avoidance of sycophancy is not the same as cunning gamesmanship. I suggest you take a step away from your alpha boyfriend and give him mental room to appreciate your worth. Right now, from all appearances, you are suffocating him. Your actions are working against your interest. Check yourself.

*cracks knuckles, leans back with hands behind head* Where else will you find this valuable advice for free? You can thank me by emailing nudie pics of yourself. Please do not Americanize your facial expressions.


  1. She just needs to understand the Maxims…

    Maxim #1-a-1: Women desire men of better quality than themselves.

    Maxim #2: All successful seductions are adversarial in nature.

    Maxim #17: Be narcissistic. There is no greater divergence than that between a woman’s stated disapproval of male narcissism and the rapidity with which she jumps into bed with a male narcissist.

    Maxim #26: Women secretly hope that you won’t rob them of the opportunity to make themselves vulnerable before your alpha inscrutability.

    Maxim #71: In their sexual primes women’s attraction for assholes is at its strongest. You can catch a lot of hungry flies with honey, but shit attracts the most well-fed flies.

    Sounds like this alpha boyfriend of hers is sticking to the plan pretty well — maybe he’s even a natural.

    That being said, he didn’t pursue her for a long time, so in all likelihood, it’s temporary. THIS IS HOW ALL WOMEN SHOULD FEEL TOWARDS YOU, Men. They should constantly be afraid of you leaving them. When I hear a woman tell me how scared she is that I’ll dump her, I know I’m in a good place.

    I guess he could be in settling mode — how old is the guy? She’s early 20s, so I assume he’s 32 or so? If so, maybe he wants to do the family thing. Doubtful. but it’s possible.

    The nose job thing is key — as is never getting fat. If a gal I am LTR with gains even 3 pounds, I notice immediately, and I usually grab any semblance of muffin top during sex.

    I almost (but not quite) feel sorry for her, but this is exactly what the women I date LTR feel — and I rarely dump them unless they get marriage itchy, gain weight, or obviously lose sexual attraction to me.


    • THIS IS HOW ALL WOMEN SHOULD FEEL TOWARDS YOU, Men. They should constantly be afraid of you leaving them. When I hear a woman tell me how scared she is that I’ll dump her, I know I’m in a good place.

      How is that even healthy for a relationship?

      [Heartiste: Since when is giving women what they want an unhealthy indulgence?]

      Where’s the trust?

      [Trust, but verify.]

      (Hopefully this comment will go through. A couple of my comments have been dissapearing or in eternal “awaiting moderation” mode).

      [You probably fell into an obvious troll category.]


      • What is your definition of healthy? In modern society’s common wisdom, low fat is healthy. You can have that definition of “healthy”.

        To me, healthy means, specifically, that both sides are getting what they want and need out of a relationship. Since a woman is externally validated, I’m giving her what she wants by having to chase me and feel like I’m not a doormat. Women want that, need that.

        10,000 years ago, I could just pummel any competitor male and drag my woman of choice to a cave, knock her up, and toss her in the cave pile with a bunch of my other baby mamas. That’s not the case today, so women need that validation that their man is desirable and not a doormat.

        Make them fear losing me is 100% giving them not just what they want, but what they need. When a woman** isn’t afraid of losing the guy, it means she doesn’t love the guy (except when both have reached old age).

        **of reasonable sexual and dating market value, in good shape, and still able to bond


      • To me, healthy means, specifically, that both sides are getting what they want and need out of a relationship. Since a woman is externally validated, I’m giving her what she wants by having to chase me and feel like I’m not a doormat. Women want that, need that.

        Being a doormat is not equivalent to having your significant other constantly fear that you could walk out the door at any minute because of your many options. Personally, that’s not something I need or want in a relationship.

        10,000 years ago, I could just pummel any competitor male and drag my woman of choice to a cave, knock her up, and toss her in the cave pile with a bunch of my other baby mamas. That’s not the case today…

        And I’m quite glad. That’s not my definition of desirable lol.

        Make them fear losing me is 100% giving them not just what they want, but what they need. When a woman** isn’t afraid of losing the guy, it means she doesn’t love the guy (except when both have reached old age).

        That’s the thing. If I truely love a guy, he wouldn’t HAVE to MAKE me fear losing him. I would be afriad of losing him anyway (for example, through death, something out of our control).


      • “10,000 years ago, I could just pummel any competitor male and drag my woman of choice to a cave, knock her up, and toss her in the cave pile with a bunch of my other baby mamas. That’s not the case today…

        And I’m quite glad. That’s not my definition of desirable lol.”

        Why oh why can’t women get their little heads around the most elementary concepts of evolutionary psychology?

        “Your definition” doesn’t mean anything. You are guided by ancient laws that are wisely hidden from the conscious part of your little brain.


      • Yes it does mean something. Just because we are guided by ancient laws doesn’t mean that this ancient form of validation is automatically desireable for me. But maybe the problem was that I’m being too literal.

        Being guided means I am still able to make decisions and have preferences. I’m not simply ruled by these ancient laws, and I’m not my biological urges.


      • Trying to argue with women about how to seduce women is pointless.


      • I mean being a doormat is not equivalent to NOT having your significant other constantly fear that you could or rather want and/or will walk out the door at any minute because of your many options.


      • Release yourself from the hell of double negatives.


      • Don’t worry Renee, Dada’s advice only works on flyover state girls, which is why my eyes fly over his posts.


      • I thought you were a broad, Jesus.

        B=====D ~~~


      • on November 2, 2011 at 7:54 pm drunicusequus

        Mmmmm. I spent more than a few years in NYC, the literal opposite of flyover country, where I can assure Jesus that alpha ahole game works miracles. Well, it’s really not so miraculous. With extremely beautiful young women, it makes perfect sense.


      • Seriously dude, learn some game before you criticize someone else’s. You’d be surprised what works and what doesn’t. Human psychology doesn’t suddenly change outside of NY and LA.

        That being said, most guys don’t really understand the details of how they do what they do.


      • When I was first dating my wife, I told her she worked too hard and looked worn out because of it. I told her she looked as if she had kidney problems, etc. with dark circles under her eyes. I said a bunch of thoughtless and somewhat mean stuff. She proposed to me. She’s very beautiful and talented with a high IQ and much younger. Go figure. I never liked believing this crap either. But it works.


      • Precisely. Mostly, they act happy. They smile a lot and especially when they see you. They tell you’re cool and really mean it. Sex is neve a problem. They simply bask in the sunlight of your presence. They’re afraid of losing that sense of euphoria you give them. Women who have never experienced this become bitchy and sullen as time goes by.


      • That was supposed to be me.


      • It’s all about balance. You play asshole game too hard, you turn into an asshole. You play beta provider game too hard, you turn into a beta providing alimony.


      • [Heartiste: Since when is giving women what they want an unhealthy indulgence?]

        And thus the number one cause of the failure of my sixteen-year marriage – I bent over backwards to give her everything that she said she wanted rather than what she needed. Sadly, I didn’t know what she needed (I was pre-game) and she didn’t know what she needed (she is female) so the marriage eventually went down the tubes with both of us unhappy and neither of us understanding why.


      • I hear ya. Story of yours, mine, and millions of other lives.
        It would do wonders to reduce the divorce rate if more men discovered LTR game, and more women discovered the gym and the kitchen.

        As CR mentioned a few posts back, women will never be able to tell you that you are slipping into betatude and that’s why her interest is waning. She may not even be able to comprehend that is what’s happening, similar to the pre-game man being unable to grasp that being a supplicator is a bad thing. She is sometimes equally confused as to why she is turned off, especially if she’s had feminist indoctrination. “He treats me like a princess so why do I loathe him? I must be a bitch!”.

        This is one area where I cut women a little bit of slack. They are brainwashed too.

        On second thought, nah, fuck giving them slack. Even when they are directly shown their hamster, they lie, evade, and justify, rather than changing their nasty ways.


      • Heartiste, I’m going to answer the first two in a comment by itself.

        You probably fell into an obvious troll category.

        Since when is stating that you view a particular scenerio differently or simply having a differing opinion considered trollish?

        [Heartiste: Differing opinion has got nothing to do with it. To qualify for trolldom, you have to have littered the comments with the same insipid opinion over and over, and, no, changing the wording a little doesn’t count as a new thought. Your assertions have to conflict with real-world evidence to the contrary. You have to present your assertions in a bull-headed manner, oblivious to any rational counterargument or disagreement. You have to be uninterested in reading anything but the typeface of your own ascii, and you have ignore commenters who have corrected you. Further, the jib of your commenting cut has to strike a sensible person as possessing a manipulative motive, as for instance when you repeat ad nauseam a lame shibboleth you picked up from some femicunt website with the hope that it gets under the skin of those who enrage you.]


    • on November 3, 2011 at 10:41 am Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM)


      you can onlyies bernanakiifies da ladies of da men so much before t da men ris eup 2 ebenrkakaify u back lzozlzloz


      “Riot police from a number of Bay Area departments fired tear gas and other projectiles and arrested dozens of demonstrators early Thursday to break up Occupy Oakland protests that had drawn thousands of participants.

      Officers moved in near the protesters’ City Hall encampment, where tents resprouted after officials last week ordered them razed. The police action came after a predominantly peaceful day of protest that attracted more than 7,000 people.

      The evening appeared to be winding down peacefully when protesters declared victory at the Port of Oakland at 9 p.m. Wednesday–after authorities confirmed that a shift of workers scheduled to start work at 7 p.m. had been canceled. But as demonstrators massed again at the City Hall plaza, the situation devolved.”

      lzozlzlzlz zlzolzlzllzozozozll


    • Yeah, first thing that came to my mind when reading this post is get the nose job.

      I’m guessing her bf is a lesser alpha since Heartiste makes her sound like a 6.5-7. Maybe the rhinoplasty would get her to any 8?

      I think her being from another country is a strong thing she’s got going for her, depending on the country. She should keep on being sweet to him.

      Lifting weights is good.

      Something pretty killer she could offer to him is to let him play around some, so long as he’s discrete about it.


  2. on November 2, 2011 at 3:00 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM)

    lozozozlzzl girls need to think more like venture capitalissts as they are indeed depriciaiataing assetstst their assett depricaites with each pound day ad dto tder ass, and with each deosuling cockas dey take into their ass lotstas

    losta cockas in da sphincterz = future spinsters lozlzozoozlz u could wirte a poem with dat as penetrated sphincter rhymes iwth cat-hoarding spinsteerss lzozlzlzo

    their #1 assett is their looks/youth whihc is a reperesentatiitaion of their freritilty fertility

    but then they hit college and tehre stand all the beerankifiers whispering to woemnz “it doesn’t matter how many dudes you butthex get assocked by as you can wait until 40 to settle and have kids zlzozo”

    moor womenz and aging spinstsserts with penetrated sphicncters agingins spsinsters deosuled via penetertated sphicnters spinsters spshincters spinstserpshoncter spinsphinsphintsetepshinctcterssteieincphicicterss lzozlzozozozo

    when you’re on a date know taht the girl is working for the federal reserve & during destert that is ben bernanke or tucker max she is texting… or maybe me lzozllzllzlz

    last chcik i hooked up with shared this rap with me:

    i gots my fiat cash from ben bernake,
    gettin’ my dinner from the herb beta,
    texting GBFM for a midnight spank me,
    i don’t butthex, but i’m no playa hata


    when you’re on a date know taht the girl is working for the federal reserve as she is trying 2 get you to pay for gaining access to the pussy she gave away for free lots in college when she was younger hotter tighter during all the mandatory pre-cats-spinsterhood prima noctae deosuling sessions, in teh same way the fed gets you to bail out the banks who just gambled your pensions savings away when they were younger hooter tighter… or somethihnng… you get my drift .. unless you are a betadipshit lzozlzlzl


    from an early age womenz are deosuled by over sexulization of briteny spears mileyly cyrus bratz dolls lozlzlzlzlzlzlz as ocmmanded by the fed which must desoul women to make them less loyal t2 god husband family lzozlzl and more loyal 2 the fed lzozllzl and the almighty fiat dollar (which is basless debt zlzozlzlzlz). a fiat system inverts all of entirety exalting secretive tapoers of butthex to the pinnacles of publsihing, while deconstructing teh great books anbd classics lzozllzlzlzl

    so when you are out with a womenz buying her dinner chances are

    0) she is working for the fed lzozlzl what do you think law shcool business school trains womenz 2 do? to serve teh almighty fiat dollar above all else lzozllzzl and use buzzwords and short skirts to convert fiat debt into physical welath and property as teh fiat debt trickles on down and the phsyical wleath ghushes on up lzozlzlllzlzl ever wonder why goldman sax rhymes with tucker max & gets richer and richer as poeple get poorer and poorer and teh national debt grows and grows? someone must be spenidng the money that is augmenting the debt for everyone else lzozllzz and that would be goldman sachs and the warfare and welfare states it funds, alongside fmeinism, which denies a women her greater chance for glorya nd story and uses her temptress wiles to help the fiat masters convert fiat debt into property lzozlzlzl. poor ladies they end up butter and alone and soulless with cats as teh fed goes lzozlzlzlzlllzllzlzlzlzl women’s right to choose!!
    1) someone had her hotter younger tighter for free and you are now buying her dinner
    2) she was deosuled in secrteive tpaings of assoccking sessions taped without her conthent which the neocns are fond of lzozlzll
    3) when she texts during dinner she is setting up plans for a midnight assocking sessiomn with an alpha who creates welath from thin air someone like the head of the fed who wires it to goldman sax which rhymes witgh tucker max lozlzllzlzl who gets book deals from women-riun publishing houses like simon ans shcuster lzolzlzl because tehy dleight in his debt-creating debuachery-creating art succeth of losing ten million on a twelve million film as well as his asscocking sessions and secretiev tapings of butthex iwthout their girlsths contehnt which he publishes for both neocon pleaseure and profit lzozlzllz
    4) if you do get married 2 her there is a fifty percent chance it will end in divroce. lolzlzl would you get on airplane if it crashed 50% of the time? lzozlzllzlzlo hell no!! and what if, after it crashed bevcause your wife was fucking some biker drummer mba in teh cockpit (as he put his cock in her cock pit lzozlzl), what if after she cuased it to crash, you had to give her half your assets and begin paying for past use of her pussy? lzozllzllzlzl plus by going down once the plane will have gone down more times than your wife once she is married–dats a joke! lzozlzllzllz
    5) 2/3 to 3/4 of womenz initiate divorce as it transfers a mans assett s to teh fed/divorce regime as womenz are trianed to do in school with promises of her ex husband having to pay alimonies for past use of a pussy and fund and reward her further asscocking sessions tthat hshe hand’t had since college but whcih she missed dearly lzozlzlzloz (once back never back! lzozlzl or once in the back door, nver back! or you make your own joke here lzozllzlzzl i hate puns) she will get full rights 2 the kids and take them with her for her array of step boyfirends/fathers 2 abuse as abuse skyrockets in fmailies where the real dad is absent lzozlzlzlzlzllz, which is why the fiat neooncs detest fatherhood and the heoric spriit zlozllzlzl and love womenz who “tame men” lzozlzlzl and keep them from accessing tehir Natural Rights lzozlzl
    6) rising womenz generlaly make more than men these days as they are paid in fiat dollars which really only create debt and so it is that womenz excel at creating debt and they call this wokr lzolzllzlzlzl so let them buy some fiat dinners and drinks with their fiat dollarz lzozlzll

    seriously do u guys still date?

    i mean i love the laides but they look down on guys who ask them out. lzozllzlzlzlzl

    last chcik i hooked up with shared this rap with me:

    i gots my fiat cash from ben bernake,
    gettin’ my dinner from the herb beta,
    texting GBFM for a midnight spank me,
    i don’t butthex, but i’m no playa hata



    • Are these long, rambling posts really necessary?


      • on November 2, 2011 at 8:01 pm drunicusequus

        No, they’re not, but they’re really hysterically funny. But as an MBA working in corporate finance, I don’t really understand his criticisms of hard working, wealth-generating, tie-wearing alphas. Also, I enjoy a woman’s, ummm, exhaust pipe of love, so it would be hypocritical of me to agree with his “butthex” criticisms.


      • on November 2, 2011 at 8:54 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM)


        dude i like generatiors of welath too dude

        prin8ing money and puttingh pthers in debt does not generate wleath lzozlzlo as it robs from the common man you mba tie-wearing, assfucking tardfuck lzozlzozloloz lzozozoozo

        “you mba tie-wearing, assfucking twlight necorphelia beasiatilty butthexing tardfuck” lzozozoo

        i think diss desetrtevers a ne wt=-shirtsszz to make me some mbas moneys lzozooz so i can afford expeenise exhaust pipes buttcock them on expesnisnve deosusled woemenzz zlzooozoo


      • Drunicusequus, you probably need to think outside what they are teaching you in the textbooks.

        I have a Wharton degree in Finance, but it still took me a while to understand the financial world. There certainly are honorable people and legitimate functions on Wall Street. But then there is most of it. Traders aren’t generating wealth – they are gambling, keep the gains, and scatter when its time to pay up on the losses. Yada yada yada. I could to on for a year, but…


      • DJ, don’t forget the socialism-for-the-rich safety net of taxpayer cash!

        but what do we know, we clearly didn’t go to the chicago school of feudal propaganda.


      • on November 3, 2011 at 11:20 am Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM)

        Drunicusequus, you probably need to think outside what they are teaching you in the butthextbooks.

        I have a Wharton degree in Finance, but it still took me a while to understand the financial butthexing world. There certainly are honorable people and legitimate ginasexual functions on Wall Street. But then there is most of it. Traders aren’t generating wealth – they are gambling, keep the gains form butthex, and scatter scat by buttheixng the masses when its time to pay up on the losses. Yada butthext yada butegehxtxx yada butthexthallejulllah. I could to on for a year, but… . . . but . . . but . . … butthcxxtetetete!!!! lzozozozzozozozozolzozo


      • on November 2, 2011 at 8:55 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM)

        bring da movies lzozozo


      • An oldie but a goodie. GBFM’s been studying the only book that matters…!


      • on November 3, 2011 at 12:24 am Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM)

        dan right

        many years ago
        moses lead my people from the desert
        free from bondage
        and slavery
        freed them from the bernankifiers
        and asockers and necorpheliastscs and bestialaitiess zlzozzlo
        (assockingh + necopheila + beastality = twilight + tucker max rhyems with godlmans sax)
        moses lead my people free
        of the assocking counetrfeitss zlzolzlz
        moses leade my people free
        just like mises wants us to be free
        of tda neocncning warminopnegring anal probig assocking zlzozlozlo theft vaia the fat dollarz


      • “Bring the movies” would have been the second-shortest verse in the Bible by word count. However, CH’s blog, though long considered courageous and entertaining, was finally voted extra-canonical, even by the extraordinarily loose standards of the twenty-sixth session of the Council of Trent.


  3. I agree with this anaysis and I double the recomendation for the nose job. Haven’t seen the pic but it’s her only chance to raise her SMV enough to change the fate of this relationship.


    • on November 2, 2011 at 7:01 pm MinnesotaSmith

      Getting a boob job, tireless jaw/neck muscles, and training away her gag reflex likely wouldn’t hurt either.


      • on November 2, 2011 at 8:05 pm drunicusequus

        The exgf I miss the most had the oral talents of a Beleorussan sword swallower. If she was slightly less crazy and slightly less trashy I might’ve married her tattooed, tiny, shapely little behind. Red hair, green eyes, freckles, Confederate flags, and that insatiable libido the slightly bipolar have – Christ I miss that nipple-pierced hillbillette.


      • this doesn’t sound like a prize, let alone one worth bragging about, my MBA-gilded bernanke-groupie friend.


      • You’re definitely a chick if you can’t see the value in that.


      • Student is right. ONly an idiot would marry a tattoed trashy girl just cause she’s gives a BJ. She is for screwing not marrying. She definately is NOT trustworthy.


      • ty likes this chick. i rest my case.


      • Who mentioned marriage? Only a chick would automatically make that calculation; only one of several ways student has smoked herself out. You a girl too Rob?


      • Ya, these are the girl equivalents of the bad boy alpha. You know they are no good for you, but no one else compares and you never forget em.

        And eventually you tell yourself to avoid the most extreme of the type.


  4. “But now we are together and I’ve never been happier. When I think about other men I’ve slept with I feel disgust and I didn’t like it (I thought I was one of those girls who just couldn’t enjoy sex) and I somehow always ended up in charge.”

    Well I think that this is the real problem. Like many women, she gives into her urge to control. She needs to assume the submissive role and be supportive towards the man that she’s with (alpha or beta). With betas, it will take awhile to bring out some of their dominant traits (and their will be some bumps in the road), but it will be worth it in the end. She needs to know this because, as you said, her relationship with this alpha probably won’t last and she will likely end up with another beta.


  5. Is he working out more? If so…bad sign for her….


  6. on November 2, 2011 at 3:09 pm Artful Dodger

    So the male hypergamy radar is always on as well, too, huh? It’s not just women who are on the constant lookout for the bigger, better deal.

    [Heartiste: Everyone is always on the lookout for a better deal, or at least everyone entertains the fantasy of a better deal, but women are biologically programmed to seek considerably higher status mates, and to seek them more frequently, than are men. This is why men get more complacent within relationships.
    You’ll note that in this post, the girl sounds like she is starting out LOWER value than her bf, so he is not so much looking for a better deal as an EQUILIBRATED deal.
    She, otoh, has probably snagged a much BETTER deal than what her market value would normally dictate, thus providing proof of the predominance of female hypergamy in the dating market.]


    • Men don’t necessarily look out for a better deal in replacement, although in The Rotation women of higher value will likely get more face time with a guy.

      Maybe this guy was too busy to add to the harem, so he spent too much time with this one. It’s situational one-itis that is resolved when his time frees up.


    • Everyone is always on the lookout for a better deal, or at least everyone entertains the fantasy of a better deal

      Women trade up. Men want more than one.


      • Ya, that works.


      • Although I’ve got to add that at times I’ve had in mind trading up, and was waiting for my status to rise to make my move.

        I can hear the keyboard jockies sputtering already – but – but – but with game, you don’t NEED status.


        For me, higher status enables me to aim higher. End of that conversation. When I can move up, that’s when I’m likely to.


      • You will never rise up in status while you believe you need to rise up in status.

        High status people are high status because of their internal beliefs, not their external achievements.

        You won’t listen to this though, you’ll go “ya ya whatever that’s just zen bullshit trust me for ME this is how it works.” because you’re not at that stage of the game yet. That attitude will hold you back for a long time.

        My buddy hasn’t had a job in a year and he has gorgeous women begging him to fuck them. I just tapped a hot little lawyer chick today and I don’t even have a car or my own apartment or 6-pack abs.

        Watch The Blueprint Decoded DVD set by Tyler Durden. It breaks down everything about status and value that you can come up with.


      • P.S. there’s nothing wrong with wanting to improve aspects of your life and raise your own personal level of what you consider high status. That’s good for a man to do, of course.

        The catch is that you should be doing that for yourself and for your own satisfaction than so you can “level up and get the hotter chick”.

        This isn’t World of Warcraft, you don’t have to collect 3 scrolls and deliver them to the old man in the village to gain access to the high status girls.


      • This guy practiced game in high end venues with Mystery and Style back in the day, his credentials are solid and the stuff he teaches in The Blueprint is 100% rock solid, though more in-depth and analytical than some personality types like to get.

        These are some clips that relate to status/value and “trading up”. It’s all in your head.


      • Around 11:30 it all pulls together into something relevant to your “need higher status” post.


      • 1) whether I am tall or not is not all in my head
        2) whether I have broad shoulders or not is not all in my head
        3) whether I have a small enough waist that she perceives she can comfortably wrap her legs around it or not is not all in my head
        4) whether I am smarter than her or not is not all in my head
        5) whether I have middle-class $ (or above) or not is not all in my head
        6) whether I have movie star good looks or not is not all in my head
        7) whether I actually PRACTICE Game IRL or not is not all in my head
        8) whether I have enough muscle to look like I have some muscle or not is not all in my head
        9) whether I have friends who aren’t losers (or fame = social proof with strangers) or not is not all in my head
        10) whether I have a high-status job or not is not all in my head

        these are the 10 points of attractiveness with women, and they all exist in objective reality

        the winner’s mentality wants to know all the FACTS – good and bad – to know what to do to produce the desired result (Confidence: how winning and losing streaks begin and end, by Kanter)


      • “1) whether I am tall or not is not all in my head”

        Irellevant to attraction.

        “2) whether I have broad shoulders or not is not all in my head”

        Irellevant to attraction.

        “3) whether I have a small enough waist that she perceives she can comfortably wrap her legs around it or not is not all in my head”

        Irellevant to attraction.

        “4) whether I am smarter than her or not is not all in my head”

        You are, you just don’t believe it.

        “5) whether I have middle-class $ (or above) or not is not all in my head”

        Irellevant to attraction.

        “6) whether I have movie star good looks or not is not all in my head”

        Irellevant to attraction.

        “7) whether I actually PRACTICE Game IRL or not is not all in my head”

        You have the ability to do it instead of reading this post. That you choose not to doesn’t mean you don’t have the ability already.

        “8) whether I have enough muscle to look like I have some muscle or not is not all in my head”

        Irellevant to attraction.

        “9) whether I have friends who aren’t losers (or fame = social proof with strangers) or not is not all in my head”

        Irellevant to attraction, you can go out solo, or you can start building a social circle any time you like.

        “10) whether I have a high-status job or not is not all in my head”

        Irellevant to attraction.

        “these are the 10 points of attractiveness with women”

        No, they aren’t. You are brainwashed.


    • Male hypergamy is a recent phenomena which came with the enforcement of monogamy. Had polygamy been legal, i would prefer a harem of 4 average women (7s) to one hot woman (9). Guys care about spreading their seed more than the quality of woman carrying their seed. Since polygamy is illegal, a guy too looks for the best deal. but still it is a lot less than female hypergamy. Damn! polygamy was such a beautiful thing. It permitted a high status male to accumulate a harem and a low status woman to satisfy her hypergamous instincts by being part of that harem. All that ruined for a few beta fuckers who will not be happy under any system. I don’t care what Roissu says about beta male, civilzation and all that. Beta males do not invent, create or come up with paradigm shifting ideas. A beta male is above all, a safety loving, conservative fucker. These are not the people who innovate.


  7. on November 2, 2011 at 3:20 pm Artful Dodger

    [Heartiste: Everyone is always on the lookout for a better deal, or at least everyone entertains the fantasy of a better deal, but women are biologically programmed to seek considerably higher status mates, and to seek them more frequently, than are men. This is why men get more complacent within relationships.]

    Idk. I’ve been in a few relationships where I was not complacent. Sure, I “liked” the girl, as in she was cute and I enjoyed her company. But for the most part, I just slipped her into my backpocket until something better came along. I think girls have more reason to fear that their SO will upgrade than men do. After the age of 23 or so, it’s hard for a woman to “upgrade” to a better mate. They’ve gotten the most they can get out of their looks, and from that point on it’s just parallel movement. The 23-year old med student, on the other hand, has not realized his full dating potential, and will likely hold out until he can afford the types of chicks he really wants. Women have a much more justifiable fear of being the “good enough for now” mate than men do, imo.


    • No doubt the hypergamous instinct is there, but in my experience females have a lower sex drive all around. Whereas they may entertain trade-up fantasies more often, I still believe it is true that most infidelity, relationship or marital, is committed by men. The fear of cuckolding is one aspect of the PUA discussion that I think is very overblown.

      Everyone is on the lookout for a better deal. Men and women aren’t looking for the same things in a “better” deal, but I believe it is still true that men are more likely to act on those urges than women.

      [Heartiste: Men are more likely to act on those urges, but they are less likely to allow the fulfillment of those urges to replace or subordinate their primary relationships. It’s the male harem mentality. Women, in contrast, are more likely to destroy a relationship with their hypergamous fantasy fulfillment.]


      • [Heartiste: Men are more likely to act on those urges, but they are less likely to allow the fulfillment of those urges to replace or subordinate their primary relationships. It’s the male harem mentality. Women, in contrast, are more likely to destroy a relationship with their hypergamous fantasy fulfillment.]

        No doubt about it.


      • 100% squares with my experience…


      • on November 2, 2011 at 4:21 pm Artful Dodger

        I think a man will drop his primary relationship for a better woman just as fast as a woman will drop her relationship for a better man. Look at how many athletes and celebrities (i.e., Dwyane Wade and Swizz Beats) leave their wives for hotter women (Gabrielle Union and Alicia Keys) once they get money, fame and power. Even more regular guys (the law/med student, the budding club DJ) upgrade once their status rises. A man (nearly any man) will always be more of a flight-risk than a woman (even an alpha female) because our potential is virtually limitless.


      • That’s why women at their prime should marry men at their prime.
        It generally means a 10+ years difference.


      • “That’s why women at their prime should marry men at their prime.
        It generally means a 10+ years difference.”

        This is key advice. If the relationship in the post doesn’t work out, the letter writer should start dating older men. At least 5 years, and more like 10 years older. She should not wait until she is in her late 20’s to start opening up her age bracket.


      • [i]Women, in contrast, are more likely to destroy a relationship with their hypergamous fantasy fulfillment.[/i]

        Ain’t that the fuckin’ truth.


      • on November 3, 2011 at 1:32 am (r)Evoluzione

        “Women, in contrast, are more likely to destroy a relationship with their hypergamous fantasy fulfillment.”

        Brutal truth here. I’ve seen this many times, from both sides of the equation. Most recently, a very hot 28-year old mother of 2 willing to throw away her relationship with her beta provider husband, all for a fling with me. I had to talk her out of it. She sulked and pouted! I was amazed, but not surprised. Call me a white knight, but the truth is, I didn’t want the drama.


      • You’re not a white Knight. U’re a man with character. Only a sleaze would date somebody’s wife. BTW her husband is wasting is life with her. NO doubt she’ll stab him in the back sooner or latter – if she hasn’t already done so B4 she even talked to you.


      • There’s nothing wrong with a bit of adultry as long as as everyone can keep their heads, keep things discrete, and not disrespect their primary partner. Therein lies the rub. If done right, its a good safety valve for society. The problem is most women want to do stuff like fall in love and leave their husband so they can start a family with their new lover and have him raise the kids, then find out later they hate him because he became the man they left.


      • I’m really torn on this. The frontal lobe tells me married women should be hands off, period. However, I fell for a married woman, not knowing she was married until already in to her. And in my heart of hearts, i have no doubt that both of our lives would be significantly happier if we were in an intimate relationship, whether she remained married or not. I chose to end the relationship against my true feelings, deciding that as a matter of moral efficiency, some norms have to be followed, regardless of individual circumstances, and married women with unsuspecting husbands should be off limits. It would be morally indensible to make excuses for my individual circumstances that if followed by every man in an organized society would lead to chaos, violence, and overwhelming harm to innocent children.


      • Thanks Rob, and you’re right on all counts. Tyrone–yes. The difficulties you mentioned are why when it goes wrong, it goes way wrong, but when done right, no one ever hears about it. So we mostly only hear about the train wrecks. Sidewinder, below also makes good points. It’s not an easy thing. Affairs can get messy, and I think as Sidewinder noted, it’s often the kids in a situation that suffer from their parent’s choices.

        If there’s no kids involved, the choices become much clearer, the stakes are almost infinitely lower. Older posts by the esteemed host of the Chateau have briefly described the vibe in an affair with a married woman who’s hitched to a mewling beta. For the uninitiated, it’s a wild, eye-opening experience of female nature. It’s a double XX dose of time-released, super-premium red pill. Not for the faint-hearted.


      • “There’s nothing wrong with a bit of adultry as long as as everyone can keep their heads”

        Oh come on! Everyone is struggling all day long on this blog to make it perfectly clear that female infidelity is unacceptable, worse than male infidelity, the ultimate betrayal to her man and her family. And you’re pulling this nugget out of your ass to sound interesting? Or do you wanna sound modern and open?

        What are you? A cuckold fetishist? You enjoy watching your wife being hammered by a big black dick while you’re impotently trying to jerk off? Or do you prefer to stay in the next room and hear her moaning?

        Shit, pussified men are the plague of this civilization.
        “Nothing wrong with a bit of adultry”?! Get the fuckatta here.


    • I’ve sucked the absolute best year I could get out of my girl, and she’s often blatantly afraid of me not keeping her. She wants to be with me for life, she’ll quietly admit. And then in the next sentence she’ll make vague threats about if I cheat she’ll leave and marry someone else. And in the next sentence she’ll say that even though my face is old and “not handsome” (she nearly says ugly), she doesn’t care.

      At mid forties, I’m expected to be going downhill at about the same rate she is at 22. But as my income climbs, it leaves both of us with many years of good options.

      And yet she is the one with the frequent fear, and the fervent doting attitude.

      That’s as it should be.


  8. this is probably better advice that the “just get pregnant” shit that her friends are telling her.

    Yoga, is nice. What about cross-fit girls? We owe it to ourselves to identify the best body toning options out there.


  9. Not hypergamy.

    POLYGAMY. He wants the cake, the cupcake, the brownie, the tart and maybe even the flapjack ’cause he’s kinky like that.


    • And?

      As I’ve said here and elsewhere, in most urban towns there is 1 strong Hawk alpha to every 50 dateable non-fat, non-diseased women. It very well could be a higher ratio than that.

      Since I posted some Maxims above, I might as well continue it here…

      Maxim #200: Men acquire lovers; women share lovers.

      which leads to:

      Maxim #101: For most women, five minutes of alpha is worth five years of beta.

      1 guy for 50 women means those women are either sharing that one guy, or have no choice but accept a beta provider.

      [Heartiste: Or stay out of the dating market altogether.]


    • Having a variety of women in the harem means a greater variety of skill-sets, and a greater variety in genetic offspring. It also means more hands to do work and more competition and eyes on non-performers.

      Incidentally, it means more inter-family political unions with the originating families of these women. Which, if the male – female ratio was maintained, would increase peace and cooperation on a tribal and national level.

      But as everyone who’s looked at the issue has pointed out, there are problems. One cretin will hog all the women and then you’ll end up with a lot of disenfranchised lazy (if morally liberal) or pissed off (if morally conservative) betas. Which will either encourage a great deal of warfare (the mideast), lead to a general societal collapse (the west), or encourage a lot of colonization (China).

      You’d probably need at least 7:1 to do this properly. Even then, you’d need strict social controls so no one alpha gets it into his head to overhog the women.


      • Have a read about Gen Paul Van Riper, USMC one day. He was one of the first guys in the US Military to really get the idea that top-down solutions to complex problems (like warfare) are rarely very effective. Instead, it’s better if you can design a system where everybody acting in their own interests, free from (or at least with limited) external impulses, pushes the system in the correct direction.

        It becomes an entropy problem. A top-down solution such as strict social controls over alphas requires a great deal of work to keep everyone in line. There’s a state of least energy, where everyone who isn’t getting what they want is in that position due to a competitor. Then there’s a state of higher energy, where someone is being kept from what they want due to external controls.

        If you’re going to advocate the second type of system, you’d better think very carefully about the failure modes of that system. High energy, low entropy arrangements of matter often explode with great force.


      • What you described is the German doctrine of military leadership. Push decision making down to the execution level and train small unit leaders to exploit opportunities.


      • Yawn. See earlier drafts by Jefferson, Madison, Mises, Hayek, etc.


    • Me too, but all of my women would love me and and a secret smile would creep over their lips when they thought of me.


  10. on November 2, 2011 at 3:29 pm Artful Dodger

    [She, otoh, has probably snagged a much BETTER deal than what her market value would normally dictate, thus providing proof of the predominance of female hypergamy in the dating market.]

    Well, it sounds like she’s a certified backpocket girlfriend. This is the type of chick who gets no kind and original gestures from her boyfriend on Valentine’s Day. He probably arrives late (if he comes at all) to her birthday parties. He’s just enjoying the decent company and the goodies until he’s richer, got more game, and can then start getting 7.5s and above.

    This raises an interesting question: is it better to be a beta female (or even an alpha female) who has ephemeral experiences with alpha males that leadt to catastrophic heartbreak? Or is it better to be a beta male who never knows the pleasures of the alpha female, but never has the rug yanked out from under his feet, either?


  11. on November 2, 2011 at 3:30 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM)


    hey everyone its all coollzzz

    feminims feminissmsm is almost over

    as da benrnake printing press

    is running out of room to create the debt

    which funds fmeinsist to seize assettss from men

    and hend deliver them

    2 bernnake and his crony cpaataiatslalapiimstss

    no longer will they have the ufnds to sdeosul an dscertely tape assockcing sesisosns by tucker max rhryemsiwth godlmaan sax and hyp tucker assocking max aas a six foot tall hero in da weekly standatdhd repatting his lisees baout his height so as to lead teh enocnoencon power over the world via assokcocng mainstreaming assockcing adn getting da peopel dumbeed down and drugged up and tamed by jonah goldebergss dfmeinist womenz lzozlzlzozo

    lzozozlzlzolzo bernanke running out debt cretaon poewerssss!!



  12. I can find big schnozzes cute, so eu girls can do alright by me.

    If her bod is rockin’ an alpha might not mind the nose – I don’t. But, she MUST be good in the sack.

    If you have these qualities, you are in good stead. The best quality a sub-8 can have is NOT being a pain in the ass and annoying. I’VE put up with some imperfect features on girls simply because they satisfied me and didn’t annoy me. They were good company – fun to hang around with – and didn’t bug me when I wanted to get shitfaced with pals at wild game dinners.


    • If you’re being honest with yourself about your desires, then you’ve either got a big nose, or you’re beta enough to preferentially pair-bond. Or both.


      • Thanks for the tip. If you’re being honest with yourself
        about your concern for what I find cute…
        you may have hidden desires to fellate me.

        Oh, and your blog –
        just might be a retread
        of a decade-old TD idea


      • on November 3, 2011 at 12:46 pm humansocialdynamics

        Good try bro


      • dont thank me


      • on November 4, 2011 at 3:07 am humansocialdynamics

        I was being flippant before but what is TD?

        Incidentally it wasn’t a bad response to me calling you beta, but you were still responding within my frame. Also you escalated enough to make it look like my comment got to you, which makes you look kinda beta. Not saying it to be mean, just saying it out of love of the game.


    • on November 2, 2011 at 9:15 pm Obstinance Works

      Yeah I have some strange fetishes at times, but that’s because I’m a perv. I don’t always go out of my way to attract a girl on that basis however. She is going to have to work really hard to keep this one. She better get to it. I dunno, maybe suggesting her openness to the idea of a threesome might help that along?


    • I’m with Firepower on the big noses, as long as they are long noses and not wide noses. I like feeling of a chick’s nose rubbing up against my face while I’m making out with her that you only get with big noses.


  13. Any woman will keep a man forever interested in her if she would only keep his sexual appetite satiated. Keep refilling his ravenous sexual hunger for fresh, supple, young flesh. If she would make it her mission in life to, every weekend, hook her man up with her cute friends from work, their daughters and nieces, he would adore her forever.

    For example, I’ve lost track of how many old hags hit on me at work. You can smell their despair and loneliness a mile away. Of course, I reject them. But if these old bats would only change their approach I would seriously reconsider. If these women approached me with the following business deal I would give them the companionship they crave: “I will see to it you have fresh young girls every night if you will only be with me.” My answer: Deal!

    Even a dog will only love you as long as you give him want he wants. If these women have lost their feminine charms perhaps they would catch a man if they negotiated with him like a man.


    • I’ve had women who would play that “bringing in the poontang” gambit. One brought a cutie out to see me in San Francisco – the three of use had the penultimate hot tub experience.

      My current ladyfriend wants a threesome with another girl too but then plays the jealosy game – “She kisses you and I’ll choke her!”

      Sure, I’ll just watch – eh!

      So, yes, some women will go that far – and we love them for it.


    • This is something I’ve heard of. I tried to set it up this year, but it fell through as the girl in question went off her rocker.

      I tried to set it up last year with a girl who made some efforts to bring me girls, but she died.

      I think probably 90% of men are unable to visualize and appreciate sexual strategies that are at big angles to their own. The minority with imaginations and experience who listen, still have difficulty, because we like what we like, and think anyone else is a doofus. But perhaps with effort, some of us can begin to get a feel for the map of the wide sexual territory.

      I’d like to mate with a girl who tried to bring me girls. Again.


  14. Alpha/beta distinctions may be in the eye of the beholder. I sensed in the first paragraph of his response that CH may have the same suspicion as me: this guy really isn’t the alpha objectively that he is in her eyes.

    I’ve seen this happen before. A 6 or a 7 girl falls for a 6 or 7 beta guy, but to her, he’s an alpha. When I was 19, my girlfriend had way more options than me, and I was such a white-knighting beta that I cringe to think about it. But to her delusional thinking, I was THE bad ass. Some of it may have been fueled by her own insecurity as well, but she clung to me like I was the last man on earth.

    Regardless, CH’s advice is generally correct, IMO. Nudie pics would help, but if she has a nice slim body, she needs to find a classy way to show that figure off every time they go out. She needs to smile and be fun and slightly elusive. Her situation may not be as dire as CH suggests, because he may not have the options she thinks he does.


    • That certainly a feature of instincts that evolved in small group societies. They are calibrated to assume that in certain things, such as social status, nearly perfect information will be available. You won’t find many ~150 person groups where everyone isn’t aware of their position in the social hierarchy.

      Contrast this to imperfect information instincts like “is she cheating on me” – if beta, assume probably. Or “does she like me” – if alpha, assume probably.


  15. He sounds too *earnest* for alpha. She’ll probably keep him.

    My advice: get on your knees in your very tight yoga pants. Pull them about halfway down the crack. Stick that thing out and move it slow, more or less side to side. Keep eye contact and do not smile.

    When he starts to come suck it very fast and with a light grip. Try to get him to blow twice. Swallow that come every f’ing time.

    There are other sexual specifics that can help. You need to get dirty.


  16. And you’ll be sharing those photos with your regular commenters, of course.

    [Heartiste: I hate to disappoint, but all grateful nudies are the confidential property of chateau, inc.]


  17. I might be an outlier, but unless her nose is truly grotesque, for an LTR I’d recommend against a nose job. I’m assuming LTR means marriage and children to her, and I’d be triply loathe to entertain having kids with someone so hung up on attracting guys (even me) that she goes through with cosmetic surgery. Also, familiarity reduces the dissonance of things like a big nose, as they go from being noticeable in a negative way, to becoming a distinguishing trait, and kind of cute.


    • the nose job would be good for her smv in the event he dumps her which he may very well do. but you’re right about getting used to the way someone looks.

      [Heartiste: He’ll soon come to love the nose job on her. It’s easier to get used to a petite nose than a big nose.]


      • I know a girl who had a nose job at 20. She looks “better”, but I can’t help but think of her as substantially trashier and more interchangeable now. But, as I said, I tend to be a bit of an outlier. It’s also a girl I’ve known for a long time.

        Working off of the assumption that familiarity leads to increased acceptance, her nose job will subjectively improve her looks more to other men, than to her boyfriend. Leading to her getting a relatively greater increase in attention from them than from him. Which is not really conducive to improving the odds that their relationship will last.

        Of course, the fact that she plain looks better, will work in the opposite direction and, especially if the boyfriend tends towards alpha attitudes, this effect may well be stronger. But then, her chances of forever after are probably doomed regardless.


      • Don’t forget that male attractiveness instincts are calibrated to include information from outside sources. Which is to say that most men will be more attracted to a girl if they see evidence that other men find her attractive.

        Also, don’t generalize you implicit bias of “plastic surgery = slut = poor pair bonding prospect”. You can’t assume that everybody thinks that way, I’m pretty sure that I don’t.


      • I’ve recently come across the notion that paying heed to others perceptions of your girl is narcissistic, and can lead to a lower quality of life. I think I read the idea on Dangerandplay, and he got it from some book.

        But I agree with you, Ian, that men are wired to like the fact that our arm candy is a status marker.

        It gives pleasure.

        Pleasure is good.


      • on November 4, 2011 at 2:05 am humansocialdynamics

        Narcissism. If there was ever a concept that needs to be squared with modern status hierarchy models, that would be it.

        In my experience, people that are called “narcissists” are really just attention seeking alpha wannabes. It’s all about inner game: if you want a hot girl so you can impress other guys, you’re failing a shit test that you yourself have set up.

        In my experience, feelings of “wow, this girl is so hot, everybody’s gonna think I’m the *man* for dating her” are shortly followed by “hey, where’d she go?”


      • In my experience, feelings of “wow, this girl is so hot, and I love how everybody’s gonna think I’m the *man* for dating her” are shortly followed by “hey, where’d she go?”

        I usually date hot girls and don’t have trouble keeping them.

        I like how they feel on my arm, and I like enjoying that they are above average and how that makes me feel.

        I have plenty of experience with it, and the appreciation of the status that comes from hot girls is in no way connected to a poverty mentality. It’s a wealth mentality.

        I prefer a wealth of beauty attached to me.

        And I’m happy and at ease with the jealous attention it brings.


      • I think this is far less true for men than it is for women. Men care FAR less about what their friends think than a woman does, what matters to a man is “does she give me a boner” not “will she make my freinds jealous”

        It’s even less true for me than it is of most men. I find hot what I find hot, and what other guys find hot has zero affect on it, for example most porn stars with fake tits do nothing for me, give me a cute natural freshman girl anyday.


    • I know a handful of women who have had cosmetic surgery (either nose or breasts) and I either knew them before the surgery or I saw the “before” pics. In every single case, there was a major improvement in subjective quality (at least to my eye), and a major improvement in her self-esteem as well.

      “Accept people for who they are” is great in theory, but reality is not so kind. Some people are just born with bad features. I don’t see how it’s any different from losing weight or dressing well.


  18. And you can stick that big nose in his asshole from time to time for kicks. I’m serious.

    Get inspired.


    • I think the obvious angle here is that she needs to bring other women into his bed. She needs to give him opportunities that he wouldn’t get anywhere else. I can already tell from her letter that she is giving up the backdoor on a frequent basis.


    • A+


  19. “Heartiste: Everyone is always on the lookout for a better deal, or at least everyone entertains the fantasy of a better deal, but women are biologically programmed to seek considerably higher status mates, and to seek them more frequently, than are men. This is why men get more complacent within relationships.”

    if women are biologically programmed to seek better men, then a man in a relationship should be the opposite of complacent.

    [Heartiste: How so? A man who is satisfied with his lover will be less likely to seek an upgrade. Evidence that women are less complacent than men in relationships is found in the divorce data, where 70%+ of all divorces are initiated by wives.]

    your logic fails here.

    [You wish.]

    you have not explained male complacency within relationships.

    [Do you, by any chance, have asperger’s?]


    • I do believe that the 70% statistic may even be low in that regardless of who files, the woman is the driving force behind the divorce. But I think a toxic female peer culture, eat pray love, Oprah, greed are more often the driving forces than adultry or trading up. In fact, many studies have demonstrated that divorced women way more often than not trade WAY down in standard of living after a divorce. The young hot bride upgrading to a higher status male happens, but I think its rare. Its one of the aspects of the divorce phenomenon that I find more puzzling: it appears to be a copmletely irrational trend. Women are making decisions that are objectively not in the best interests of either themselves or their children. It could have something to do with butthex, I don’t know.


      • The hamster and her friends truly convince many of these women that they will be better off without him and be able to find someone better. I don’t think many of them realize the wall has been hit and that they are not as attractive as they used to be. Especially to the men they wish to attract.
        Reality is a bitch.


      • Not only do they irrationally guage their market value with men, I sense that a lot of women divorce with this idea that they don’t need a man, period. Its like an adolescent throwing a fit to declare their independence, but I don’t discount the possibility that this could be influenced by the pervasive anti-male themes floating about the ether in the West. I could be tainted by my own experience here, but post-feminist relationships seem to have caused an adversarial nature to male/female relations that did not exist before, and I’m not sure that women are fully emotionally pair-bonding with the men they marry these days. They say that they are, and go through the motions, but I suspect that they are not jumping into marriages with both feet, and maintaining some idea of solidarity to the female cause against men.


      • Women friends seeking to sabotage a reasonably sucessful marriage will also be a major cause. Women all too often hate it when a friend is more successful or might be.


      • I’ve never had a women in love who didn’t have friends who hated her for it.


      • Yeah, I tend to assume that at least 90% of human behavior is completely irrational, so don’t get too excited. However I do agree that the divorce culture seems to be partially a situation where human instincts are becoming miscalibrated due to external information from the media.

        There are two main issues here. One is that women are fed info telling them that they have mate prospects even in middle age. Insane, but there it is. The other is that men are fed info telling them that it’s okay to act beta, and that they should resolve relationship issues logically. Logic tends to turn into supplication, and suddenly attraction is dead.

        At least, that’s what happens sometimes. The other, much bigger factor that you need to remember is that divorce rates are directly proportional to female economic empowerment.

        Marriage, that is, pair bonding, is primarily an economic arrangement. It exists so that an economically empowered beta male can share his resources with a female in a way that ensures that he will fairly receive mating opportunities. But marriage is far less common in Paleolithic societies where beta males lack economic opportunities due to alpha males hogging all the resources.

        Marriage for the masses is largely an invention of economically specialized societies. Now that females have economic opportunities, and no longer need to trade their wombs for a beta’s resources, sharing an alpha is back in fashion. Chateau Heartiste likes to pretend that this is a bad thing, and we should force a return to the old way of doing things. I disagree, but furthermore, I think it’s a moot point. There will be no going back now.


      • Female employment is partially due to advances in technology, but a significant portion of female jobs are created by leftist social engineering. The latter can be scaled back, thankfully.


      • I’d say about 65% are make work jobs in support of social engineering.


      • on November 3, 2011 at 12:48 pm humansocialdynamics

        Dude, there’s no big conspiracy out there. What is, is. Don’t expect to see women out of the workplace anytime soon, except in the context of the general hollowing out of the middle class due to technological advances.


      • “sharing an alpha is back in fashion. Chateau Heartiste likes to pretend that this is a bad thing”

        It is a great thing if you are an alpha. However, it’s terrible for the stability and strength of civilization.


      • CH likes to pretend that this is a bad thing, and we should force a return to the old way of doing things. I disagree, but furthermore, I think it’s a moot point. There will be no going back now.

        Very few people here have ever disagreed with the notion that it’s best and proper to re-establish the sexual communism of lifetime monogamous marriage. Very few people here have ever questioned the value of beta sperm as compared to alpha sperm.

        As you are capable of holding this view, this suggests you are sexually comfortable now.

        The sexually starving are sexually communists – nearly by definition.

        As for the fact that you see that there is no going back, that puts you in the rare camp of preferring reality to a cozy pipe and a dream.


      • on November 3, 2011 at 4:51 pm Recovering Nice Guy

        While they are married, the wives get interest from higher-value guys, and the wives think that they have a chance with those guys. What the wives are too deluded to realize, is that they have a chance to sleep with those guys, but no more.

        The women divorce and get laid (not necessarily in that order), then get dumped a week or a month after the divorce. Thinking that this was just bad luck, the women try again with another higher-value guy. It doesn’t sink in until a year or so later that their best strategy would have been to stay with the devoted husband. But while the x-wife is finding out that her market value has gone down, the x-husband is finding out that his market value has gone up. She subtly checks to see if she still has a chance with him — maybe even sleeps with him again — but all of the kings horses and all of the kings men can’t put humpty together again.


      • You are too optimistic. What you’re describing is how life should be like, what happens out there is completely different.

        Many women get away with the worst shit they can do. They cheat, and the interloper proposes. They run away with an alpha, get dumped, and come back to their beta hubby who has been waiting for her to “come back to her senses”.

        In an ideal world, the interloper should fuck her brains out until he gets tired, and dump her like the worthless whore that she is.
        The cuckolded hubby should grow a pair, learn game, take his rage out on the dozen next bitches, and settle down with another good girl that he will game relentlessly until death comes along.

        Women have it good, because men have lost perspective on what a good woman should act like.
        Men became pussies, we deserve everything that’s happening.


      • Then you can call this place a testicle regeneration facility. Good comment.


  20. “You may even want to flirt with other men and try to make your boyfriend jealous”

    I see where this advice is coming from, but it can backfire.

    Generally speaking, it’s a very bad idea for a woman to try to make a guy jealous by flirting with other dudes. It works the other way around because of preselection etc… but only because the attractiveness capital of a man is not locked in his looks. Even if we assume that men and women alike want their partners to be lusted after by third parties, a man needs to be socially dominant to be deemed attractive. A woman is attractive or is not. Women are human beings. Men are human doings.

    I’m one of the “women’s place is in the kitchen” type so I don’t give a fuck about what other dudes think about my girlfriend. But some guys feel an ego boost in knowing that their gf is lusted after by the male competitors. However, she only needs to be hot to achieve that. Downright flirting with other dudes can seem desperate or slutty.

    In this chick’s particular situation, she is walking on a tight rope so maybe extreme circumstances call for extreme measures.
    I see this flirting with other dudes as an ultimate test for the relationship. It has to be done only once.
    If he reacts jealously, it probably means that he cares, and there is hope in this relationship. It can also mean he doesn’t really that his pride has simply been hurt and he just needs to let it out. Facial cues and aftermath behavior have to be interpreted carefully.
    If he doesn’t react, it means that he doesn’t really care and the relationship was only an easy way for him to enjoy drama-free sex and companionship during his studies.
    But he can also dump her right there and then, I know I would.


    • Wow, allow me to correct the antepenultimate paragraph:

      “If he reacts jealously, it probably means that he cares, and there is hope in this relationship. It can also mean that he doesn’t really care but his pride has simply been hurt and he just needs to let it out.”


      • Um, what if the guy becomes territorial right there on the scene? As in, the girl talks to another (cute) guy at a party, not even flirts, mind you, just talks because he happens to be there, and the bf comes over, lays his hands on her, and basically lets everyone else in the room know that she’s his. That’s pride, right? Could it also be “care”?


      • It could be anything.
        It can be just a knee jerk reaction, an alpha would be wise to step up when his girl is talking to a stranger, regardless of his feelings.


    • I agree that outright flirting is not the way to instill dread in a man.

      It’s like cheating. If you are going to do it, have some subtlety. Don’t slap the partner in the face with it.

      If you are going to instill dread, have some class.


  21. I suspect he’s not as alpha as she thinks he is. It doesn’t sound like he’s planning to leave her – if he was, why would he care enough to enroll her in grad school?

    Perhaps he’s planning to marry her, but wants to get a better paying job first.


    • Yeah, most chicks consider that their bf is super alpha when they love him, even if he’s in the higher beta/lower alpha range.

      But if she’s a not-too-superficial regular reader of this blog, she may be right. In this case, he may be using her as a companion during his college years.
      I’ve seen alphas who are serious about their studies apply the same strategy: Avoid drama queens and get a comfy girlfriend during college (to avoid extra stress during the exams). Dump her a few months after college. Play the field for 10+ years. Settle at 35 with another comfy girlfriend/wife.

      I would have done the same if i knew any better.


  22. on November 2, 2011 at 4:00 pm Dr. Grzlickson

    GBFM is still here? Jesus.


  23. not that yoga isn’t a good way for women to stay fit, but some yoga pants are specifically designed to make the ass look better.

    [Heartiste: I don’t doubt that, but nothing fools my trained eye!]


  24. Men are less hypergamous and less discriminating than women because quite simply men don’t have a vagina. Men have to create more external value than women, and that’s difficult to do so trading up is sometimes a risk and takes work. Unless you’re alpha that is, but most guys aren’t alpha. Men don’t want to just trade up, they want to trade sideways, trade down, and trade all over the place and get as much pussy as possible.


  25. This guy is in graduate school, therefore it’s unlikely he’s an alpha.



    1. If she is successful in getting him to hang around, the more beta he’ll become. He’ll be just another beta in her past that she feels “disgust” for fucking.

    (Witness all the former beaming brides who now recoil violently in digust at the mere mention of their ex-husbands.)

    2. If she is unsuccessful in getting him to hang around, he powers up his alpha to pre-relationship levels or higher & leaves.

    Note that for a man, one situation is LOSE, but the other situation is WIN.

    That’s why women are ALWAYS UNHAPPY — they are screwed when they get what they want, but they are also screwed when they don’t get what they want. Women always LOSE. Just be sure not to hang around when they do.


    • Whoa!

      Women have babies. Usually, those babies get what they need and they grow to become adults and make grandkids for the mother.

      That, sir, is biological success.

      A woman’s gender game is to get a) good genes AND b) resources for her kid(s). Her success metric is grandkids and a good-enough combination wins usually enough.

      You’re just saying that women have to keep playing to win. That’s an obviousity and applies to men too.


      • This makes logical sense but my observation tells me this is often not true. Many women today are extremely selfish and have no concern for their kids or if they do it is a lot lower than satisfying their selfish whims.


      • Yep. And evolutionarily speaking, women may not be the nurturers of children that many may think. If women have historically been kept in the home by threat of force from a dominant male, they may not have evolved the same self-sacrifice towards the home that successfully reproductive men have been selected for through generations. Women may have evolved submissive traits that aren’t necessarily self-less. Take away the male authority, and the necessary precondition for female compliance disappears, and they fall back on simple short-sighted, (and often irrational) self-interest.

        My own experience, albeit based on whacked out American girls, is that they have some kind of chemical attraction to babies like they do to diamonds, but do not seem any more inclined to enjoy children than men are on average.

        [Heartiste: Your analysis is intriguing, but I disagree with your assertion that women don’t have baby lust any more than men on average. Join a group of men and women surrounding a baby or small child, and it will be the women gathering around to coo and ahh, while the men turn their backs to discuss other topics. I’ve seen this happen so often, and particularly among childless women, that I have come to the conclusion women are wired differently than men for baby fascination.]


      • No I agree with you, women DO have some sort of irrational baby lust that men do not. To me it appears to be a chemical reaction, not a learned behavior. But it doesn’t appear to go any further than that superficial, initial attraction to the infant. Women see infants as a shiny new diamond that they “want” but they don’t appear hard-wired to want to nurture the infant into adulthood any more than men, maybe even less. In my experience, more men enjoy playing with toddlers than mothers.


  27. Americanize your facial expressions? I’m intrigued. What exactly do you mean when you say that?

    [Heartiste: No duckbills, pouty faces, fake smiles, skyward gazes, winks or lip licks.]


  28. on November 2, 2011 at 4:40 pm Manuel Dexter

    Please do not Americanize your facial expressions.



  29. She could add another option—-understand her man will cheat on her, and tacitly allow it by not nagging him/asking where’s he’s been/etc.

    He might be willing to keep her around if he can sleep around.


    • Even better: Bring home other girls for him and perform some girl on girl for him, then see how many fun positions you can get the three, or four, or five of you in.

      All girls though no dudes.


  30. My read: the man has decided to work on himself and become successful. A relationship with a woman beneath his station is of great use here – steady enjoyable sex, little drama, consistent affection and charm, you get the picture. He needn’t spend time drinking and womanizing to get laid with hot drama queens. To get the hottest girls possible for a given man, it takes some time and effort, which he wants to spend on his education and career. Instead of tooling around with the glitzy Merc, he’s saving his money for now and opting for a reliable, amiable Mazda.

    No woman becomes too big from weightlifting unless she takes steroids or works out seven days a week and eats like a pig.

    Ehm, depends on how seriously they take it. I read the site 70’s Big, and they’re constantly promoting lifting for women. Chicks without small bone structure can get bulky. I see no upside for a girl to doing any upper body work – weighted squats & lunges for dat ass, and yoga for flexibility, posture and non-hypertrophic strength training (aka tone). A woman with a huge ass, thin waist and skinny arms is a beautiful thing.

    #5 is very much a tight balance. It sounds like she’s doing a good job of it and doesn’t need to worry – any “girl game” here is counterproductive. Just be nice to him without debasing yourself, and you’re good.


  31. if she can’t afford a nose job, she should not even consider it. there’s nothing worse than a botched rhinoplasty, and there’s no other profession where the “you get what you pay for” principle is more true. see for EG porn star breast augments. even there, few are any good.

    the reader need heed only the 4 paragraphs under “Reason #2: He has settled.”

    the rest is superfluous and complicates matters, i suspect the reader will ignore the good advice because she claims shes “never been happier” aka her hamster will scuttle any rational thought on this issue.

    but i have had friends in this exact scenario. she senses he’s teetering away, probly for good reason altho details are scant. she should also be wary of expecting him to pay for her fitness as though her staying as fit as possible is a gift to him. it is critical that anything less than an absolute stunner not have any pedestal attitude. he won’t hesitate to dump her in the most unceremonious way if he feels hustled by someone w/o the chops to do so.


  32. GBFM, does tucker max rhyme with goldman sachs?


    • on November 2, 2011 at 5:08 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM)

      yah tucker sachs rhymes with goldman max zlozlzzlzlo


      • on November 3, 2011 at 1:38 am (r)Evoluzione

        I’m tempted to go to one of those OccupyWallstreet shindigs with a big-ass sign that says: “Goldman Sachs rhymes with Tucker Max. Butthex the Fed!”


      • on November 3, 2011 at 11:47 am Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM)


        funy how sodom and shccusetr simon and scheister pricisisiclla’s panaton a woman feministe publishes promotes tucker max da butthexing asscocker while noeocn neo con woman charlotte alleenene repates tucker max whyryrmes with goldman xasax’s lies about his heght as his buttcocking makers da aging neoocn womanzzz gina go tiblegele lingle lingle and as tucker max rheys with godlmans sax is an asscocker who tapes it secreteley unbekeeknowsts to the grl, it brppromabbly makes her anuth tingle lingle too lzozozlzozzolzlzoz

        the lesson here,
        is that when women run publishing, art, govenrment
        asscocking, necorphelia, ebastiality, big government, dvicorce
        are exlated and rise
        while family and romance delcine
        this is why da warmonger godlbergian neo9ncs fund feminissms
        and send asscocked mwoemn forth
        to tame men
        adn sezixe their assettsts in divorce and welfare and feminsist studies entitlement assocking programs
        and had then assetts to teh
        cenrtrral bankerss lzozlzlzo


  33. You’ve all heard that the British mangina judges just ruled that Assange has to face the feminist sex accusers in Sweden.


    • this has nothing to do w feminism. it has everything to do w the US seeking to extradite him ASAP for daring to shed light on their dirty business. the swedes wear skirts, and as such are the desirable exit point (see also bittorrent prosecutions). the whole “whether he refused to wear a condom is rape” is just a red herring.

      it mustve been a good rogering tho, one of those bitches threw a big houseparty for him the day after.


      • Student wrote: “it mustve been a good rogering tho, one of those bitches threw a big houseparty for him the day after.”

        From this guy?

        If you subscribe to the “you fuck like you dance” theory, then we can conclude he’s not rogering anything. Best his pasty oz ass seems capable of is julienning.


      • maybe warlock tramp game *does* work after all? in this case, he managed to attract one into his orbit.


      • Student wrote: “it mustve been a good rogering tho, one of those bitches threw a big houseparty for him the day after.”

        No evidence from the house party itself, but I did manage to secure some video from the days after:

        Albino Game, motherfuckers. Learn it. LIVE IT.


  34. Yeah there’s an incongruency here: this guy is clearly not a pussified beta “nice guy” but he doesn’t seem to be a manipulative douchebag either.

    [Heartiste: The reader doesn’t know enough to determine if the bf is or is not an asshole. My guess: he has some jerk tendencies.]

    The amusing thing is that in the fractured psyche of the American mind there doesn’t seem to exist an archetype that is neither pussy nor asshole. So it becomes very difficult to understand situations where instead of an alpha or a beta, it’s just a man involved. American thinking, like American culture, is jeuvenile and simplistic, and like American capitalism seeks to distill and separate that which is most easily digestible from complex and nuanced forms, and in the process creates a bizzaro-world of stereotypes into which people can never really quite fit themselves, but are desperate to try. Even worse, as English becomes the international language, this cultural and psychic disease is spreading everywhere else. A lot of wisdom will be lost for iphones.

    [I give this tangent an 8 out 10.]


    • I know. I hate science and logic too. We should be more like the noble savages.


    • Excellent observation. Blame television and the masses it caters to. Television was pretty high brow in spots when it first came out, but the industry soon figured out what sells. As PT Barnum said, “no one ever went broke underestimating the American public’s taste.”


    • Yeah, dude, alpha and beta are basic sociobiological concept present in all species. Don’t get all racist on us and blame is on “Americanization”.

      Sure, humans have the most complex social relations of any animal, and therefore a 1-factor spectrum of social status will be an approximation. That doesn’t make it wrong. Nor does it make you vague feelings about being “just a man” or latent anti-American bias any more correct.

      For the record, I don’t particularly like American culture either, but don’t try and turn it into some deep truth.


  35. Heartiste should be a relationship advice columnist, but he’s not a female mid 30s 6.5 feminist hag, so it doesn’t matter how sagely the advice he gives is.


    • You forgot single. A pre req for any women that dispenses dating advice, that or at least a decade of marriage to an overtly gay male in a liberal field.

      Their advice for men always seems to be 300 dollar leather shoe oriented too. As though some accessories and a salon haircut will make 10s pull you off the street, into an alley, and behind a dumpster to blow you with the fury of five hurricanes.

      It’s men still in the matrix that seek female advice, which makes reading any of those online dating advice articles so painful. Like a child asking where babies come from and a well meaning parent finding the truth to inappropriate or difficult to explain telling them about storks or special hugs.


  36. Here’s a real bullshit propaganda piece from the UK Daily Mail’s Rachel Porter:


    It says that middle aged men are “no longer doing the mistress thing but, instead, planning adventure holidays” that the wives allegedly don’t like anymore than the mistresses of yore.

    Bull. If this “new trend” was happening instead of the men still having affairs, which I doubt, the wives would be secretly loving it.

    Note how the thumbs down at this “conservative newspaper site” tend to go for the men who write “I take my mistress on those vacations”.


  37. askjoe said: “We owe it to ourselves to identify the best body toning options out there.”

    IMHO- rollerblading, especially if it includes some moderate hill climbs.


  38. on November 2, 2011 at 6:47 pm A French guy no longer living in CA

    Another suggestion:Take some cooking lessons, girl.
    DOn’t you worry if he leaves you. If you caught an alpha, you could do it again.


    • Darn good suggestion!

      As I told my sons,

      Passion cools.
      Looks fade.
      Cooking LASTS!


    • Good advice. These days its a major market discriminator too thereby giving her a powerful edge over other women. He might become a fat alpha though.


    • Amen to that. I think women severely underestimate the power of a home-cooked meal or spontaneous baked goods. They can have a profound effect on either a current boyfriend or a potential suitor. Its effectiveness is doubled these days due to the fact that most women can’t cook for shit.


    • A sure signal of the strength of a womans desire to keep a man is her attention to pleasing him with food.

      So if you want to get the girl to judge by her actions that she is really into you, be sure to make sure she carefully and consistently prepares good food. Always praise each good meal, and never let a bad meal slip through.


  39. I think the bed thing a girl can do to guarantee male investment is to be an extension of the weaker aspects of the guy, ie cold approaching. If he maintains his own efforts, you can complement his skill set. If you are a not so hot chick that has lots of continuously changing hot chick friends, he would pay to keep you around. You just have to accept that he will fuck some of them, but probably not give in to their bitchiness and commit to them.


  40. on November 2, 2011 at 7:19 pm More MSM propaganda excusing shitty female behavior

    This seems like the right place to drop this gem (read: steaming pile).

    Notice that its written by a female and then further notice that under the “bored and unhappy” steaming section, this quote: “She left everything she knew—her hometown, her husband, her job and her country—to start her life over with Bob in Australia.” No mention of her also having left her KIDS. If that had been a man leaving his wife for another woman, the female author of the article would have crucified him. I’ll leave the other nuances of the article for the readers of this blog. Or just save your time and memorize the maxims – you’ll be better off.


    • I read that crap too. I loved the one where they married to have kids then she changed her mine and got pissed because he remembered the wedding contract.

      So she was pissed at him for wanting kids THEN went out and cheated on him!

      Yahoo has some of the most worthless BS on the internet. Glad their email is free.


    • Classic female hamster balderdash.

      “We had an instant connection”. No shit. You were bored, horny (probably ovulating) and he had game. No supernatural forces are required.

      I’m surprised at the number of males willing to marry a cheat. What the fuck do you expect from a woman who already sullied the wedding vows with her vaginal juices? Why do you, as an alpha interloper, reward a cheating whore with commitment?

      I’m also surprised at the number of men who forgive their women’s “mistakes”, like if she forgot to cook him dinner. Probably betas, but there are certainly a bunch of distant alphas in the lot.

      No wonder women are acting like worthless whores, men let them get away with it.


  41. Is anyone other than me curious to know what changed from the guy basically ignoring her to now wanting to be in a relationship? I’d like to know what took place during this transitioning phase.

    Anyway here are some tips for improving your chances of this relationship lasting. Not all of us are lucky to be born with a symmetrical faces and superior bone structure, but there are ways one can make do. At least you’re honest that you aren’t a 12 on a 1-10 scale like most American girls generally aren’t and suffer great delusions of self-grandeur.Fortunately your fairly young so there is certainly hope. If you know where your weaknesses are, you can compensate.

    1. DEFINITELY do something about that nose, if you can go up to a whole point like CH said, why not sell and/or do whatever you have to in order to get the money to afford rhinoplasty by a very good plastic surgeon? Please look into it.

    2. Dye your hair, chances are the hair color you were born with (or currently have) isn’t nearly the best possible one for your skin tone, undertones, and features. Go to a professional colorist for a consultation.

    3. If your hair isn’t already long and luxurious, GROW IT! I can’t stress this enough. In the meantime you can wear extensions, but learn how to take care of your hair more efficiently in order to maximize length retention.

    4. Start RIGHT NOW developing a skin regimen that will at least lessen the horrible blows of aging in a few years. Make your complexion flawless; there are way too many products clinically proven to work to be walking around with mediocre skin. This also goes for the skin on the rest of your body-exfoliate it and make it smooth and as even toned and moisturized as you can if it is not already.

    5. If your teeth isn’t white and straight, get that fixed.

    6. Heels and dresses. Heels and dresses. Heals and dresses. Skirts are cool too. Develop a personal style that is elegant, sexy, and classic. Wear clothes that emphasize your best assets and colors that compliment well with your undertones.

    7. Exercise regularly! Look into doing Kettlebell swings and CrossFit. Do abdomen exercises that target your obliques as to cinch your waist in more in order to create the look of a more feminine figure. If you have a great waist to hip ratio already, this will make you look even hotter. Work out your upper back, make it amazing to look at from behind.

    8. Go on the Paleolithic diet, never look back. Drink a lot of water, drink less alcohol, Incorporate fish oil and flaxseed oil into your daily supplements.

    9. Randoms:
    -Read books, know things that are interesting. Get your own hobbies as CH said, might I suggest learning an instrument like the guitar/base or perhaps learning to crochet/knit, cooking/baking? Develop an identity so you don’t have to supplicate so much as stated above. Be flirty + mischievous, playfully tease, be feminine, and smell really good at all times. Never slouch or walk like a linebacker, work on good and respectable posture

    – Learn to cook WELL. Master some dishes you can prepare in a short amount of time to keep your man fed and happy. Let him hang out with his friends when he wants, even encourage it! Keep him sexually satisfied- fuck him well and make love to him right; give him head out of nowhere. Be nasty.. only for him though. Don’t be annoying and don’t nag–never ask for something more than twice.

    Ok those are all the suggestions I have. If your relationship doesn’t last, at least you maximized your attractiveness and will stand to have a better chance at attracting a guy you quite like once again. Cheers and good luck.


    • You go girl! We have Donna Reed on deck!


      • My standard for oral sex is often and well.

        To be fair, even the perfect wife can lose out, but frankly, if you really achieve all that above, a man would be stupid to leave you for a lesser woman. Your conduct would put you in the top 5% of wives, even in the good old days. Variety can be had on the sly, but a good wife is really worth her weight in gold. A good wife is a life partner and a successful marriage is still a great vehicle for creating wealth. A good wife watches your back, watches out for you, prevents you from doing dumb stuff, etc. all without seeming to nag. I’ve started to actually listen to my wife because she gives good advice and two heads are usually better to analyze a situation. A PUA might think of a good wife as the ultimate wingman. And another thing, a good husband knows how to make his wife into a good wife. Its not automatic. As with sex, they need and expect leadership. Not a boss, a leader. Ask yourself, would you follow yourself? Asshole game has to be used sparingly in a marriage or it loses its efficacy.


      • All of the above assumes you have raw material to work with in both sexes. Men and women are often lesser mortals and simply don’t care enough to make a good marriage. Some people are just selfish, stupid, and obtuse and no amount of advice will help. I’ve met good women married to knuckleheads too.


      • Comment of the week.


      • I’ll amplify your idea about creating your mate with leadership.

        A woman in love is putty in your hands.


      • Remember her show? Bob Crane (lol) played her neighbor Dave Kelso. (How sick that I remember that.) I wonder if they played games while waiting for their scenes?? I mean,come on,Bob Crane??


    • Damn good advice. Probably won’t work, but damn good advice.


  42. “there are differences between game and genuine apathy”


    Game is an ungenuine kind of mimic that tries to give the false idea that you are an alpha male who deals with pussy with the apathy of a harem owner.

    [Heartiste: Nah. Game is a form of communicating so that your message is favorably received by women.]

    In the other hand, genuine apathy is… genuine!

    [An alpha male does not feel apathy for the women he loves.]


    • In the other hand, genuine apathy is genuine and more effective.


    • In the beginning, game was about pretending that you were a high status male within your small group society. This was possible, because small group societies no longer exist, but nobody told that to our instincts.

      Now game takes this a step further. PUAs got smarter, and realized that if they convinced their own instincts that they were high status, than those instincts would do most of the work for them. Inner game. Get that right and the rest is just for fun.

      Is it mimicry? 10,000 years ago it would have been. These days? Who really cares.


      • on November 3, 2011 at 1:44 am (r)Evoluzione

        Authenticity is important. With enought practice, these concepts and ideals become internalized, natural, congruent, and utterly authentic. We all have that budding alpha in us.

        Ian, you’re fond of quoting the 150-member tribal idea. Any man will become an alpha in a tribe of 149 women. It’s situationally dependent, and in today’s complex environment, one can learn to subtlly and with body language and intent, occupy that alpha role. Again, as I’ve said before–intellect, drive, intention, curiousity, and intention–these form the man. Context is king.


      • on November 3, 2011 at 12:54 pm humansocialdynamics

        Yeah bro, I’m fond of quoting anything from the evolutionary psychology establishment. At the end of the day, I don’t have the confidence to dismiss anything that real scientists come up with, and I consider EP to be real science.

        A man may become alpha in a tribe of 150 women, but he may just succumb to shit test after shit test. I might convince everybody of the validity of the current state of the art in EP, or I might just be swamped by shit tests. Who really knows right?

        But yes, everybody (ASD aside) has the program for alpha inside them. It’s just a question of the threshold required to activate said program.


    • “An alpha male does not feel apathy for the womEn he loves.” – perfect!

      So game is “form of communicating”? Or is it substance?

      I think it’s both: the way your deliver the message is a part of the message.


  43. My advice to the letter write:

    Consider the nose job, but that’s the limit. No other plastic surgery. Especially no fake breasts. And no tattoos!

    Learn how-to cook, and do so occasionally (or more), but not so much that it gets taken for granted.

    Be neither doormat nor bitch – being willing to write to the Chateau is a good sign.

    Don’t be stingy with the blow jobs.

    Grow your hair (at least shoulder length).


  44. Dump him for your own sanity.

    You scored yourself an Alpha. You have arrived. You have lots of photos from the relationship to prove it to your future grandchildren. They will high five you for scoring an alpha at one point during your life.

    Now find someone you genuinely fit with and feel comfortable with. Someone who you just ‘click’ with.

    Someone you love. Someone you can sit on the porch with and watch the sunset everyday with.

    Obviously if your writing to Heartsy, that is not the man you are currently with.

    The only reason why you are writing this is because you are in your early 20s. You are trying to prove your Worth To Humanity through Your Relationship. Fuck that.

    It sounds crazy, but I try to tell this to everyone. The secret to finding a happy relationship (like the old couple I saw in a restaurant talking and holding hands) is to find someone who looks like you. Like really, you hold your photo up to his and you go “wow, we kinda have a lot of facial similarities” It’s so simple!

    Besides, truthfully, it doesn’t sound like your alpha boyfriend is that much of a catch. It’s not like he has a good job or is uber-intelligent. So screw him.

    Only alpha worth working that hard for is a rich alpha hehehehehe

    (P.S.- Be careful with the nose job….some nose jobs make the nostrils flare out…You think you got a problem now? HA! Wait till your nostrils are permanently flared)

    But, the idea of spending every day of your life looking your best is an awesome idea and should be a major life goal irregardless of your man. It’s fun to strut 🙂


    • Yeah, the highest value mate that anyone can score will be one with similar genes in most areas. Looks the same, but dissimilar major histocompatibility complex (an immunity gene complex, where variety is a good thing).

      Of course, who’s to say she hasn’t already got that with him, and that’s why her alpha male has stuck around as long as he has? Compatible genes probably only add a point or two to attractiveness, so she’ll still struggle when he becomes more desirable.


    • To be completely honest, she already insulted him in the email by saying that originally he was unmotivated.

      That’s a HUGE RED FLAG of her deep down feelings towards the guy.

      I don’t think this girl actually likes him. I think she wants to move on.


    • “You scored yourself an Alpha. You have arrived. You have lots of photos from the relationship to prove it to your future grandchildren. They will high five you for scoring an alpha at one point during your life. ”


      I would high five my grandpa for scoring liz hurley. I would only high five my grandma because she made my super alpha grandpa commit to her FOR LIFE.
      But a random alpha cock she had during her hot tight young era? FAIL. And why the fuck would she show me the pictures of a random guy who used to plung her when she was hot? I would automatically assume that she “settled” for my grandpa because she couldn’t do any better.

      Get this: The only achievement in a woman’s life is to make one quality man commit to her for life. Everything else is a failure.
      Men get extra points for their premarriage hookups.

      All of you females need to understand what projection is, and stop fucking doing it!



      • I meant liz taylor.
        Still horseshit though.


      • I have another theory!!!!

        This letter is a con job!

        She’s making her boyfriend sound like an alpha. Like he has all these options.

        But the reality is She Wants Out of the Relationship. But he’s such a catch that she can’t leave you see.

        So instead, she pretends he’s an alpha who doesn’t love her with tons of options. That gives her an excuse not only to ‘improve herself for other men’ but ultimately to justify why the relationship didn’t work.

        Do you see….This is The Ultimate Female Trick.

        (P.S.—-I’m basing this on a woman I knew who was married to a great guy who loved her greatly….but kept accusing him of cheating when he was doing no such thing…..she labeled him a cheater as an excuse to leave him because she wanted to be single again)

        Women who are with men they love don’t write letters to Heartsy.


  45. Um…anal, obviously.


  46. So, what is the advice that guys in the Chateau give to us non-american women dating American Higher Betas?


    • Treat him like the alpha you want him to be and coach him in a quiet way to become that man. When he is that way, you will learn to love him more.


  47. For the love of God, get a good nose-job. Do not look for the cheapest; there are problems with that approach, If you have not even thought of a breast-job, you are probably just fine as you are if you can keep the weight off.


  48. She’s infatuated with him, all he’s done is hook up with a lurker who wants to cater to his every whim, he fucks her silly, she thinks he’s a god, sparks are flying, his ego is flying even higher, this creates all kinds of energy, but can they harness it?, and the world goes round.


  49. keep being non-american?


    • Oh my god, this Liz Jones is crazy … (I’m sure I was reading about her on this blog before … This photograph with cat is very familiar). She’s the best example of how feminism can ruin a woman’s life. I’m grateful she wrote this story, one of the best warnings against feminism I’ve ever seen. She’s a brave woman.

      I think men can finally learn that it’s not wise to marry a woman you don’t love (and don’t want to have kids with her).

      [Heartiste: ftfy]

      Most women want love, marriage and babies …

      [ftfy, act 2]

      If you’re not willing to give her that (and you just want to sleep with her) – don’t even marry her!

      [ftfy, act 3]

      That’s how it is … for a troll like myself.

      [ftfy, fin]


      • Oh, my new name is Mayaisatroll now? What can I do to prove that I’m not a troll?!

        My comment makes no sense now you ruined it.

        [Heartiste: Au contraire. It makes infinitely more sense. But I suppose to a deluded troll like yourself, sense is nonsense and nonsense is sense.]

        I don’t know what’s your problem … Can’t you understand that women only want to sleep with men who love them and not with those who would just want to fuck them?

        [You are wrong. While women are less likely than men to enjoy sexual intimacy devoid of love, there is certainly plenty of evidence that at least some women, some of the time, indulge in a good, hard, love-free fucking.]

        Men should accept this fact and act accordingly, don’t you agree?

        [You may wanna check your premises, trollgirl.]


      • “[You are wrong. While women are less likely than men to enjoy sexual intimacy devoid of love, there is certainly plenty of evidence that at least some women, some of the time, indulge in a good, hard, love-free fucking.]”

        No, there is not “plenty of evidence” for what you clam.

        [Heartiste: Yes, there is. And I’m not even including my personal experience with women or the experiences of men I know. Do you live in a troll cave or something? Try getting outside once in a while.]

        I doubt there is ANY evidence for this.

        [Your ignorance is not my moral crisis.]

        There are so many women who don’t enjoy sex at all and who try to avoid sex with their boyfriends/husbands whenever possible.

        [Sounds like yeev got a touch o’ the projection. Btw, we call these sex-averring women: “married with beta”.]

        And if they finally meet an “alpha” and have good, hard (your words) fucking with him, I’m 100% sure they would fall in love with him.

        [It takes the typical woman two to three fuckings to begin to feel the stirrings of love for a run of the mill alpha. A one night stand won’t do it all the time for every woman, unless she is banging a super alpha, such as a band singer or an american psycho..]

        “[You may wanna check your premises, trollgirl.]”

        I think you should check your premises.

        [Checked, and pointing northward.]

        No girl wants to be pumped and dumped.

        [“No” girl? Surely you’ve known a few who relished a good alleyway fucking after hours with the local meathead? Or are all your friends nuns?]

        If nothing else, it makes no sense evolutionary – why women would be interested in love-free fucking – to become single mums?

        [You should try reading for comprehension, but then again, you are a troll. One more time for the slow learners: women are less likely than men to enjoy love-free fucking, but that doesn’t mean no women at no time ever enjoy it. Study after study, not to mention keen observation, shows that women are more likely to fuck around in a dalliance during the ovulatory stage of their cycles. If they weren’t, there would never have been a cuckold in the history of mankind. The very existence of cuckoldry puts the lie to your assertion.

        Now get the fuck off my blog you annoying half-wit troll.
        Much obliged!]


      • Heartiste gives his usual yeoman’s effort in trying to talk sense into a chick. She’s not a troll. She’s a woman.

        And what is a woman? “I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.”

        Even the best of us forget the second half of Jack’s formulation from time to time. Not that men are paragons of reason and accountability on average, but they expect to be held accountable for irrationality. Women do not and cannot.

        So stop addressing her like you’re in conversation with a man. (Though, in a men’s club such as this, you’d hope to find respite from gabby distaff assertion.) I’ve lapsed a few times myself with Maya. It officially stops being cute the third time around. Eventually she has to begin volunteering acknowledgment that reasonable rhetoric and argumentation is not her strength or her place. Only then will it be possible to accommodate her occasional femme-brain queefery.

        But the modern princess is incapable. The thought of prefacing her random musings with, “Pardon me, I’m just a girl, but…” gives even airheads the vapors. We’ve “progressed” past that hoary old prejudice, you see.


      • No, don’t pin that on her being a woman. Maya is just a special brand of stupid. At least by now women who are somewhat aware would have at least resorted to eye-rolling, sarcasm if they were too intellectually lazy to address or refute any points. Or wouldn’t even bother trying to follow the “argument” linearly once they realized they were wrong, but Maya is clearly incapable of arriving at this point of realization. That is some impressive stupidity.

        But yes women are definitely forgiven more for their general lack of reasoning skills.


      • Excellent point. This is a man’s discussion. Women are best left discussion domestic issues and cupcakes.


      • Maya’s not likely a stupid woman.

        [Heartiste: She strikes me as having a case of rainwomanitis.]

        Actually, I think she is quite brilliant. She has a lot of the men here exactly where she wants them. Look at how often many of the most popular commenters respond to her. She also gets a ton of responses from Heartiste and he is her favorite. Why on earth would she stop? Her rhetoric is giving her exactly what she is craving. Reasonable? No. Effective? Absolutely.

        [There’s no doubt she is an effective troll, which is why I classify her as such. As for being an effective charming woman… eh, not so much.]


      • By no means did I mean an effective charming woman. This is the definition of rhetoric I was thinking of when I used the word effective:

        rhetoric |ˈretərik|
        the art of effective or persuasive speaking or writing, esp. the use of figures of speech and other compositional techniques.
        • language designed to have a persuasive or impressive effect on its audience, but is often regarded as lacking in sincerity or meaningful content : all we have from the opposition is empty rhetoric.

        She may not be very persuasive in her arguments but she persuades men to respond to her and she obviously leaves an impression.


      • Stingray, it was funny to read that I have “effective rhetoric” – I think this impression is more the consequence of language barrier than anything else 😀

        “By no means did I mean an effective charming woman.”

        I know. This is a real problem I have right now. It’s difficult to be charming when you’re constantly either desperate or in panic. I know that right now I’m in the process of losing the single opportunity to ever find love, have (consensual) sex and kids. Men can always learn game, even after decades of having no success with women. I will have no second chance, EVER.
        So I guess it’s no surprise that I can’t hide my great anxiety. I don’t really care whether I’m charming on the internet … (but I try to hide my desperation in real life because I’m more attracted to men with options).

        btw. what exactly does ‘troll’ mean? Is this someone who’s lying to get attention or someone who’s just trying to be noticed on the internet?
        If someone explains me that, then I can tell you whether I’m a troll or not.


      • The rationality or “quite brilliant” quality of her game is almost beside the point. It’s the accountability that’s the issue.

        Women have all the same muscles of logic that men do, only they are atrophied through disuse, and the disuse is the product of unaccountability. Just like men are funny because we generally have to be; women are unfunny because they only have to present well. Women have a recourse to vulnerability (Ilsa: “I can’t fight it anymore. … I don’t know what’s right any longer. You have to think for both of us. For all of us.”) that men simply do not. When a woman is incoherent, it can be regarded as harmless or even cute. When a man is incoherent, he is marked as the useless tit he is. (Occupy Wall Street, anyone?)

        “Don’t pin that on her being a woman. Maya is just a special brand of stupid” is a fancy way of saying NAWALT.

        And as far as Maya playing us commenters like a fiddle? Meh. I hadn’t considered it too deeply because being a troll is its own worst punishment. I neither seek to give her attention nor would launch a crusade to deprive her of attention. Both would be equal wastes of time. I respond to what is in front of me if a larger point might be made concomitantly. In this case that larger point was about social accountability’s effect on the sexes’ widely disparate capacities to reason.

        A strict policy of “Don’t Feed The Trolls” is just as bothersome as its opposite. It’s more trouble to be compulsive about the incidental crumbs I drop than it is to just let the ankle-biters snarf them up.

        Besides — can it really be true? Her greatest (if unconscious) purpose here is to elicit replies in the combox? How harrowing a life. Like I said, their behavior is their own worst punishment.


  50. “I suggest you enjoy the remaining time you have with him to the fullest, but keep an eye out for replacement suitors.”

    Yeah, enjoy while it lasts. You will be ruined for all of your future partners. Maybe it’s the last time in your life you enjoy your sex life, so try to prolong this relationship for as long as possible (at least into your late twenties – so you won’t be able to attract “alphas” anymore).

    “IF… I am wrong about the dynamics of your relationship, and your boyfriend does truly love you and want to be with you and only you for a long time …”

    LONG TIME=10 years, maybe. At least until you hit the wall and your boyfriend stops “loving” you and starts “loving” something younger, hotter, tighter. Don’t worry. It will be fun to be single again at 35!


    • That’s a failure of womens’ psyche. Men can love lesser women too. They can have endearing qualities like a rebel flag tattoo and red hair with green eyes and an ass to die for and just something cool about them. Great sex with one women doesn’t ruin good sex with another. From what I’ve seen, its the women leaving the men, so your crying about being abandoned is a basic female anxiety, but not really supported by reality. The greater danger is that in ten years, after all her efforts have paid off, she turns into a pissed off or bored fat assed bitch and makes him regret ever meeting her but he’s chained to her legally and financially.


  51. The best advice for this (imaginary?) girl asking you for advice would be to inform her boyfriend about her love, then suggest marriage (and kids). If he doesn’t agree enthusiastically, he’s just another “alpha” loser who wants to use her for sex and then discard her after a year or two. She should leave immediately.


    • poor maya wishes she were that imaginary girl.

      for five minutes of pump, no alpha could spare.

      trolling and waiting…


  52. I believe the advice should have been: If you have found a true alfa – be willing to share him with other women. You wont have him for every night, but if you are the rare women who is honest with herself you will see that you will be more lucky being with him two nights in a week than being with a beta seven nights a week. Do not propose him to sleep with other women, but when it happens -accept it. If he cheats – make a little drama, but accept it in the end or he will dump you. If he goes away for another women – tell him he doesn’t have to dump you for that.

    This is how women have lived for thousands of years until the wicked religion of proto-feminism also known as christianity brainwashed everyone into thinking that polygyny is a sin. And actually women were much more happy waiting in line in thrilling anticipation for their randez-vous with their alfa husband while raising children and cooking in group with help of other women from his harem, than constantly tiring themselves out by single-handedly cooking and cleaning for a monogamous man. After the collapse such arrangements will return.

    The dumbest thing to do would be to break up with him, when he starts cheating on you and settle with some beta. This will only make you, the beta and your children miserable.


    • You haven’t spent much time with groups of women in competition for the same man. They may appear to be harmonious, but they are fighting like evil baboons under the surface. There’s a reason why Islam insists that the 4 wives be in different households.


      • folks, posts like these show how clueless ty is. Islam, like christianity, is a diffuse religion and as such there are different cultural and social norms among its diverse population of 1.6bn. this is why less than 3% of lslamic marriages of polygamous. but where ty really goes off the map is his declaration that polygamy exists to prevent “evil baboons” from fighting. Islam does not “insist” on 4 wife households, but technically **allows** *up to four* only where a man can *afford it*. also, women were always allowed to veto polygamy by prearranged marital contracts. The origins of this norm were protecting widows from destitution because they were the “in the kitchen only” types (that some men here dream of) and as such, couldn’t earn a living to support themselves, let alone their children. rather than living on the streets, it became a cultural norm rooted in social justice for them to become part of a harem.

        the more you know [rainbow;star]


      • You can’t deny that strong polygyny has been working in its finest in Africa. Yes, Africa is very heterogeneous, but there are many parts with such arrangements.


      • n/m scratch my post. reading comp fail. i shouldve done what most here do and just ignore his lectures.


      • Which is why, say, Mohammed bin Laden, Osama’s father, had 22 wives. When he got tired of them, he’d get them pregnant, first, then dump them off to whatever subordinate he felt like based on how well they’d pleased him. Already with a kid in tow. Lovely. That’s how to have 57 kids. And take away that many reproductive chances from other guys.

        Its why Muslims are like a barrel of scorpions. Always.

        That’s why Osama and other devout Muslims always try to take four wives whenever they can, to emulate Mohammed. Polygamy exists because Islam is a terrible, uber-Alpha male religion and culture and political system all rolled into one, what you’d get if Jesus was combined with Stalin, Ghenghis Khan, and Alexander the Great. No wonder Islam and Muslims have produced no science or math, to speak of, ever, and remain squalid backwaters of poverty, violence, and misery.

        That’s what you get when the big men hog all the women and spend all their time mate-guarding (harems, burquas, female genital mutiliation) and the young men try to kill the old ones only diverted by attacks on outsiders. Mormons were the same way under polygamy.


      • “No wonder Islam and Muslims have produced no science or math, to speak of, ever,”

        this is actually so wrong i can’t believe even whiskey said it. Algebra is but one EG of a notable Muslim innovation in the area of math.

        i really wish CH had deleted my OP. i was worried it would attract some flies, esp since i totally misread ty’s post (which was actually right about the requirement of separate households tho i would quibble about the separate estates being a bitch issue, as opposed to a guarantee that each wife had a reasonable standard of living).


      • It would be more accurate to say that Islam has not produced any cultural achievements in several hundred years and in reality, it wasn’t the ruling elite that participated, but rather created an environment that allowed knowledge and cultural advancement to flourish in already advanced societies. Most innovation was Greek, Persian, Chinese versus Arabian. Whisky knows his history. Your knowledge is raher patchy, but you have pluck. You gotta love that obtuse Commie determination.


      • Have to second the idea about Islam. It really has produced little on its own. The greatest scholars were rebranded Greeks and Jews. Once they were fully Islamized, even they became, well, not much.

        Islam only prospered by exploiting non-Muslims. Look at the Dark Age they have been in since they lost their access to Christian slaves. The last Muslim strong entity, the Ottoman Turks, was fueled by Greeks forced to go to Turkey as boys (The child tax) and become Muslim, forming their Army and administration.

        Reading history gives one perspective on game. For example, I have yet to meet a girl/women who knows squat about history, or cares. I think the toughest part of gaming women is to maintain interest in them. They are truly boring people.


      • Speaking as a fairly serious student of and occasional teacher of history of science – yes, Islam did not produce much of lasting value in science or mathematics. That’s not to say that they did nothing – they did make a few contributions – but not many.


      • Give the arabs some slack, will ya.

        Their religion is retarded, just like any other religion, if not a little bit more I’ll grant you that. They are living a cognitive dissonance between their glorious past (one of the greatest empires of all times, don’t pretend that doesn’t matter) and their current shitty situation.
        Add to that the glorious western mindfuck when it sponsored Israel, and its support to highly intelligent dictators who know how to prey and accentuate their peoples fears and insecurities.

        All the ingredients of a disaster are gathered in the Arab world, and we don’t help them, we do not, why should we? We only care about oil and stuff…

        Arabs are not worse or better than anyone else. They contributed to civilizational knowledge as much as they could. And they’re slowly emerging from a nightmare. Their terrorists are a joke of human beings (nothing to do with polygamy btw, stop the mental jerk offs). Most of them are peaceful, and ask for nothing but to be left the fuck alone.

        And stop fantasizing about polygamy, it’s only significant in Saudi Arabia and some other gulf countries, where ruling family mobs are hoarding all the resources and all the fuckable women. The arab world is big and diverse, but we only focus on where the oil’s at.

        I lived in an arab country for years and most of what Whiskey says sounds completely delusional.


      • “I lived in an arab country for years and most of what Whiskey says sounds completely delusional.”

        yeah Anon, like i told him in a prior post, centcom had a good laugh about whiskey’s wild claims of “iran is running iraq” and how NATO airpower is helping AQ overthrow muammar.

        the guy has no clue about this kind of stuff, which is sad because its not even that hard to figure out.


      • Gramps

        Reading history gives one perspective on game. For example, I have yet to meet a girl/women who knows squat about history, or cares. I think the toughest part of gaming women is to maintain interest in them. They are truly boring people.

        Yes, being satisfied with little is truly an art. I don’t usually advocate it as a general life principle, but it’s useful as needed. With women, it’s needed.


      • Muslims also marry their cousins. Mustn’t forget that. Cousins marrying cousins marrying cousins. A wave of inbred stupidity engulfing the world.


      • You’ve obvioously taken a shine to me, maya malinkaya aktivistka,sportsmyanka, komsomolka. I hope you’re cute. How do you look in Daisy Dukes? Do you have long, shapely legs and a smooth round popka?


      • hey mac, i admitted my mistake. but youre still the “muslim world domination” conspiracy cat. who looks to whiskmeister for history lessons about islamic “scorpions”. im a commie! call kissinger and round up some drones. ill even email my centcom bro my coordinates. semper fi cannon fodder. dismissed.


      • Apology accepted. That’s what’s endeared you to me. You still didn’t tell me about your ass. I’ve got this idea in my head that you’d look great with a green flag tattoo on your tailbone peaking over some tiny thongs…

        However,don’t be so naive as to think Persia has no long term plans for domination of the Middle East. If they succeed there, they will wait for Europe to become weaker and become Muslim from within. I think we will be relatively safe in the US, but the traditional points of intersection between the Islamic world and the West will become war zones. I personally find Islamic countries to be fascinating to visit but they are backwards. Its like stepping back in time to visit one. I like their art- I own a big collection of Persian rugs and I like their food too. But cultural clashes are the way of the world. Everybody wants to be the boss and as long as force seems cost effective, nations will use force. Essentially the region is seeking to modernize intellectually and economically and we are seeing the friction from the old order breaking up and a new order being established. Because the forces from the past involved are more powerful than in the west when we made he transition during the first half of the last century, violence will likely be great in this transition.


      • So you’re a military chick. I bet you’re an Intel specialist too. In reality, my world view conforms with Anon’s above about the Arab world. Its a good assessment. Its true of all conflicts. Most people just want to live in peace the world over. However, these MYOB people will soon once again be swept up in forces greater than they are and become cannon fodder too. Its the Iranian leadership that I see as being determined. I see the Revolutionary Guard replacing the Mullahs in Persia, both of whom have carved out economic fiefdoms, as the principle power base. Urban Iranians are pretty Western and the RG’s muscle will be needed to keep a lid on things. The RG also controls nuclear weapons production. The RG will simply gather more resources and prevail. They are the determined ones. That’s usually the case- the most ruthless and best organized faction wins. Busy bodies and the ruthlessly ambitious sweeping up simpler folk to do their bidding and blood letting. There’s a huge pool of frustrated young men limited by crony capitalism and strict controls on sex. I predict that within five years, you will be seeing an alliance with Persia as hegemon and Islam as the common cultural glue that mirrors the Persian Empire under Cambyses. Nuclear armed and in control of about 50+% of the world’s oil reserves. Europe dying off and being slowly replaced by Muslim immigrants and locally born Muslims too. This is exactly what Iran’s current and future leadership is thinking and planning. My guess is that their intel forces have been busy in the Arab Spring and instigated and guided much of it. Chess was invented in Persia. They learned to think several moves ahead a long time ago.


      • hey ty, you’re not as dense as i thought you were. you still got a bit of protocols of elders of islam going on, but im happy to see you’re not completely out to lunch on these issues. no im not military, though i kno a bit more about it than the avg bear. i talk to ppl involved in some pretty interesting stuff. obviously, i hear a lot of “i can’t get into that”. esp when it comes to israel.

        no shit iran is looking to expand its sphere of influence. its completely surrounded by the US and threatened every day w war and military attack. gaddafi and saddam gave up their nuclear program, while KJI kept his. guess whos still in power. thats what i love about these armchair chickenhawks; they assume that once an adversarial nation gets nukes, because they are a bit religious, the worlds going up in smoke. its actually quite effective war propaganda.

        as for your muslims in europe thing. I’ve probably been there more than you. muslims are pretty isolated and are not at all influential. where do you get your ideas on this btw, london DJ turned neocon mascot mark steyn? ayaan hirsi ali, whose hamster rationalizes her own family chopping off her clit by assuming the whole religion is evil? all they want is to be respected and have a house of worship that they can go to. not exactly unreasonable. and here you are, talking about refugees fleeing from US supported authoritarian regimes being somehow pawns in this greater geostrategic chess match! its so absurd and that’s where you really lose me. as you can tell, some aren’t so authoritarian anymore, though you can bet the WH had serious contingency plans in effect, which is why egypt is in limbo and why libya was such a brilliant gambit; (“they….actually….think…we were trying to *protect*… humanitarian interests!!!!” [uproarious laughter]

        but yeah, if you ever get over your bizarre fantasy that i don’t have a dick big enough to smack you around with, maybe ill engage w you on these issues once in awhile.


      • God, do they fight.

        And nothing is nastier than female fighting. At least men are directly violent. Women are just… nasty.


    • Good post. Music to my ears.

      Women will of course interpret this absolute truth as the retrograde ideology of a misogynist macho player (and they would be right too).

      Therefore the best strategy is to ignore what women say, alpha up, find a submissive woman that you will genuinely love, and keep sarging for hookups (use condoms for fuck sake, don’t be a fucking criminal).
      I didn’t find an attractive marriage material girl yet. But I cheated on basically every girl I’ve been with. I’ve been caught five times, two chicks immediately dumped my ass, and three chicks were able to “forgive” me, even if I didn’t really apologize.

      Those who can forgive are typically submissive, pair-bonders who were born to be with a beta but were lucky to find an alpha ready to commit. Those who can’t forgive are the typical short-term hookups, born to have as many babies from as many alphas as possible, and who will cheat the first day after the “passion is gone”

      So get yourself a pair-bonder, ignore what everyone says, and nail some stupid “live fast, die young” on the sly. Never apologize.

      Tiger Woods would have been a hero, if he didn’t emasculate himself in front of everyone by apologizing like a dickless wimp.


    • Take it easy on Диoиymous and his ESL.

      “If you have found a true alfa … for their randez-vous with their alfa husband while …”

      When he talk “Alfa” he meens these 1:

      He goes on to enlighten:

      “… the wicked religion of proto-feminism also known as christianity brainwashed everyone …”

      The language barrier is unfortunate, because I think he’s really onto something here. Fortunately, incisive wisdom such as his transcends all obstacles to communication.

      Will no one rid us of these meddlesome priests! It’s the 21st century for goddess sake! Écrasez l’Infâme!

      Do tell us more, effendi. I am glad to translate, to make sure your eternal observations reach the widest audiences possible.

      До свидания!


      • What’s your take on zeitgeist?
        Just curious.


      • “Zeitgeist” is a special kind of cack only possible because of the instantaneous disseminating quality of internet video. It is GBFM(TM) animated.

        It is the intellectual equivalent of a Ku Kluxian Karbon Kopy tract with a “www” appended before it. Unfortunately two of those w‘s stand for “world” and “wide,” which means the non-existent barrier to international publishing has given its paranoid ethos a greater audience than ten-thousand pamphleteer factories would have done only thirty years ago. Lyndon LaRouche would have won a few presidential primaries if there YouTube existed in his prime.

        My utter contempt for “Zeitgeist” should have been clear from the context of my comment.


  53. Good advice but misses a crucial point, which is you missed out the importance of a man’s female affection needs. If this girl works hard on her feminine vibe / glow, and makes herself exceptionally pleasant company, then her man will happily turn down girls a point or two hotter than her. When a girl is strongly feminine she brings out the noble / sucker instincts in a man.


  54. The New York Times tries to write about Game !



  55. You give very good advice. However, while I have all sympathy for her in general, this choice sentence that she wrote pissed me off:

    “can’t afford to lose him and go back to either being alone or dating boys or macho idiots.”

    Or said in other words, hypergamic hamster at its finest. It is as inconcievable that all other guys she met are either boys or macho idiots as it would be that all the girls a guy meets are not pretty enough. It does not matter that she has been his toy for two years and is now rightfully fearing what will happen to her as he gains other options, the other (beta or even just not 100% alpha) men are just not good enough. I’m sure that she has rejected many men she’d be happy (and safe) with over the years, but it’s of course easier to just lump them all under boys and macho idiots.

    Bravo, hamster…


  56. Diverting a bit, want your take on this Heartiste:
    Putin wife beater, love cheat: report London, Nov 3 (PTI) Russian strong-man Vladimir Putin has been accused of being a “wife-beater and a philanderer” by German spies when he worked as a KGB agent in the German city of Dresden, a leading German paper reported today. The Russian prime minister allegedly had a string of flings while he was himself a spy in Dresden in the late eighties, Germany’s biggest paper ‘Bild’ was quoted as saying by the ‘Daily Mail’ here…..


  57. How about she covertly torpedo his attempts to gain higher status while pretending to be supportive? Figure out ways to screw up or destroy his progress then come in to give him hugs and blowjobs afterward? A Machiavellian cycle?


  58. on November 3, 2011 at 5:57 pm Rant Casey - BR

    Many men are fond of the idea of long lasting union with a woman. Some men have a more conservative outlook of life.

    This do not contradict Chateau’s advices, in fact, she will benefit from them.


  59. PUAs dispensing advice to women is like agribusiness feeding growth hormone to livestock. The hens will plump up and be unable to walk, but they will deliver a reliable Same Night Egg Lay, and their eventual slaughter will yield the choicest cuts.

    You first must have a genuine concern to deliver this girl salutary advice. Maybe in a moment of weakness, Heartiste has discovered some pity or compassion. But it doesn’t jibe with the ethos. Since when do alphas care about some schnozzerific lovelorn accessory of a fellow alpha? More important: what possible reason to care does an alpha have? Which maxim is that?

    According to the internal logic of game, the only advice a PUA is capable of giving is one that accrues to the alpha’s benefit, and her well-being is irrelevant. Otherwise we are reaching Beyond Game. She wrote because she’s thirsty for honesty in a desert of liars and feminist mythmakers. But game is predicated on deception between the sexes. So she came for the honesty, but leaves with instructions on how to debase herself.

    That advice might be what a girl like her deserves, as she has benefited from lies since birth and only now seeks truth when the advantage has begun swinging in the other direction (the justice of female aging). It may even be the best possible advice under the circumstances. But at very minimum she is not getting the guidance she thinks she is getting. She is not getting the product she requested, which cost her nothing. So she deserves a caveat emptor at least — you get what you pay for.

    There is no good advice for her, just as there is no “advice” for terminal patients and handicapped people and elderly bedwetters and all the vulnerable & powerless, other than to get comfortable living at the mercy of others, if at all. She is sliding toward the short end of the power stick, and Heartiste does her a charitable service by reminding her of this approaching fact. The only thing worse than losing your power is not being aware of your diminished capacity. Hence the grotesque cougar phenomenon, those pitiable spinsters who insist they “still got it, sister.”

    Lady, getting a nose job will allay some frustration, but you are nibbling around the edges of a problem you are too timid to contemplate in its full, gradually awakening horror. Find your strength in meekness and submission and compliance and modesty and humility. That is the only power that can break an alpha. It’s a silver bullet that they deny exists, and their denial makes it all the more devastating.

    Alphas and PUAs, here is your test case. Imagine this girl your homely little sister or niece. Does grinding her bones to dust under the gears of social selection bother you at all, reformed-villainess & entitled-wonderbrat though she may be? Is fuck-and-chuck her lot in life, to be accommodated but never transcended?

    There is a still small voice — called your conscience — and it’s not the enemy you insist it to be. If you don’t believe me, look no further than your hero and model, Heartiste, who just exercised it for all his understudies to see. And I’ll bet he feels good about helping her too, this complete stranger whom he will never fuck.


    • Seriously, King, trying to make us cry?
      Pathos only works on women. We’re not gonna become weak again just because we read a call for compassion. We all know where weakness leads. That’s why we’re unredeemable assholes, alpha or not.
      Why the fuck should we care or forgive? We will do whatever the fuck we want. Consider us the victims of the war of the sexes, PTSD-ridden monsters who shall have no mercy.


      • Anon wrote: “We all know where weakness leads.”

        Oh, do “we” all know where it leads, Professor of Power? I sit at your feet, ready to hear your wisdom on the topic.

        I study the philosophers of power, and only Nietzsche came close to acknowledging the paradoxical power of weakness. After all, how else could a supposedly “powerless” slave-morality become regnant? Through sheer cleverness? Well, then cleverness is ipso facto the superior power to what it vanquished.

        I won’t advertise this too heavily because I don’t want the predictable grief, and besides, your clinging to false notions of power only strengthens my position. But a true student of power would meditate on “turn the other cheek” a little more closely before dismissing it as the necessary policy of the weak.

        When someone strikes you, you gain the upper hand. Because 1) the attacker has lost discipline; 2) he has demonstrated this loss of control before everyone; 3) he has enabled a free strike-back for the requirements of justice (eye for eye); 4) he has inspired within the attacker an irreducible, internal regret of injustice by striking the innocent for self-centered purposes rather than for the enforcement of a universal principle; 5) he begins exhausting himself by publicly demonstrating the impotence of his method.

        To reinforce the rule of the attackers — the outwardly, directly, physically mighty — the idea of pain and its avoidance must be preeminent. (Talk about a “slave morality”!) In other words, “I will get my way by inflicting pain, and they will listen by their desire to avoid pain.” Once this Rule By Pain is individually rejected, however, the entire regime of fear crumbles; and the only recourse of the nominally “powerful” becomes extermination. But even extermination itself is the triumph of martyrs, presuming a communal effort rather than the individual fates of any single self-centered person.

        Meditate on that.

        Meantime, ch’s correspondent just came out on top of that exchange. She got what she wanted, and he was happy to deliver it gratis. Or was it free, after all? That little private satisfaction is the compensation he can never admit before this mob of mantra-chanting juggalos that populate his readership, or at least the dimwitted groupies that post comments.


    • “Since when do alphas care about some schnozzerific lovelorn accessory of a fellow alpha?”

      “According to the internal logic of game, the only advice a PUA is capable of giving is one that accrues to the alpha’s benefit, and her well-being is irrelevant.”

      “game is predicated on deception between the sexes.”

      You believe in a cartoon character version of an “alpha male”. Statements like the above are how I can tell that 1) you haven’t really studied PUA concepts, 2) you don’t go out and try to pick up girls, 3) you don’t pick up girls, and 4) you probably won’t.

      “Leave them better than you found them.” has been a tennant of pickup since The Game. Not everyone follows it, but the teachings are based around it.

      Please quit slandering shit you clearly haven’t given more than a passing glance and labelled with a pre-conceived judgement.

      “Maybe in a moment of weakness, Heartiste has discovered some pity or compassion. But it doesn’t jibe with the ethos.”

      Heartiste isn’t helping this girl out because it’s the alpha thing to do. Helping this girl out is the alpha thing to do because Heartiste is doing it. Think on this.


      • Yeah, well. Our contradicyory responses grant him an exquisite angle of attack. I suspect that he’s gonna win this battle.


      • YaReally wrote: “‘Leave them better than you found them.’ has been a tennant [sic] of pickup since The Game.”

        So ch “picked” her “up”? What possible reason does he have for helping her?

        He can’t “leave her better than” he found her because he never had her at all. The policy makes sense for the women a PUA dates (or even flirts with). But for an emailer?

        Your canned, repetitive, fortune-cookie bleating, like everything else you write, appears to have been gleaned from some Seduction Manual, the very ownership of which marks you as a certain kind of pathetic striver. And you say I’m the one trafficking in cartoons?

        I have zero interest in your Great Seduction Manuals For Men library and the life-advice therefrom that so constitutes your identity. The whole industry is Oprah for the sexually frustrated herb, Chicken Soup for the Socially Inept, self-help guides for rising nerds who missed key male rites of passage, such as learning how to spontaneously adjust your approach to women without some weird-haired former-geek (“I was just like you are!”) infomercial salesman giving you “the secrets.”

        Now you will take this as evidence of my total social ineptness, as you and your game-besotted cortex are programmed to do. How could anyone be successful with the ladies without going to at least one Tyler Durden seminar? How could one function on the social scene without having read “101 Rock-Solid Seduction Techniques GUARANTEED TO GET YOU LAID TONITE” or subscribing to this penetrating website:


        My God, man. Have a little pride. Does any part of you still cringe at this snake-oil?


      • “So ch “picked” her “up”?”

        He interacted with her (via his blog). An alpha makes the people around him better. This bit here is the cartoon character shit I’m talking about. “But he didn’t put his penis in her1!1 1 that means this no counttt1!1 me can’t wrap head around shit that every nuance isnt spelled out teh step by step!1”

        I’m hoping you’re just being deliberately obtuse for the sake of trolling.


      • i agree. KA often speaks from high about things he does not fully comprehend. yet his lofty rhetoric tricks many into mental deference to his strong and rigid views.

        an EG is where i school him on the libertarian ethos, the difference between rights and liberties. he does not respond bc he can’t on that issue.

        i agree. compassion is the supreme alpha trait, because it is a manifestation of altruistic love from a position of power. machiavelli did not say it is necessarily better to be feared than loved, but only so *if* you can be both.


      • correction: “*if* you cannot be both”


      • “an EG is where i school him on the libertarian ethos, the difference between rights and liberties. he does not respond bc he can’t on that issue.”

        Refer me to the alleged schooling.

        If I recall, your “rights and liberties” distinction didn’t strike me as responsive, much less damaging to my point, much less particularly noteworthy or worth a discussion.

        I am amused by the personal speculations in lieu of a cogent defense of one’s assertions. Such and such speaks this way because he’s really this and so. Everyone at the end of his tether becomes a personality analyst. I suppose it’s the easier way on the internet. You get to the limits of your thinking and all you’re left with is reiteration of the faith you didn’t even know you were dependent on.

        But I like you, Student. You’re a left-winger who at least tries to back up your creed best you can, and you seem dimly aware of your limits, and bringing your disagreements up among overwhelming dissension is admirable and brave. Those are rare enough qualities among your kind that I will encourage and celebrate them at every opportunity. Cheers.


  60. Roisy, you would do better to place the “Where pretty lies perish” text over the section of the picture with the woman in the white suit-coat-dress thing, and also perhaps change the font/color to more blunt choices. Can barely read the thing where it currently is.


  61. on November 3, 2011 at 9:38 pm Super Trooper

    If I may ask: will the Heartiste comment on the Texas Judge beating daughter video? —



  62. “Maybe in a moment of weakness, Heartiste has discovered some pity or compassion. But it doesn’t jibe with the ethos.”

    Heartiste isn’t helping this girl out because it’s the alpha thing to do. Helping this girl out is the alpha thing to do because Heartiste is doing it. Think on this.

    “Since when do alphas care about some schnozzerific lovelorn accessory of a fellow alpha?”

    “According to the internal logic of game, the only advice a PUA is capable of giving is one that accrues to the alpha’s benefit, and her well-being is irrelevant.”

    “But game is predicated on deception between the sexes.”

    Please quit speaking for PUAs when you’re not one, and please quit wrongly summarizing our teachings when you’ve clearly given them only a brief glance-over and then crammed them into a pre-conceived box of cartoonish stereotypes in your head.


  63. What about ex boyfriends who suddenly appreciate?


  64. In other news: “Alpha Women, Beta Men” — is the alpha/beta terminology just now starting to catch on, or have I missed a lot of recent mainstream usage?

    I figured this is the place to ask.


  65. “…where pretty lies perish” would look better in the lower right corner.


  66. Just found out Manhood Academy is offering free scholarships until Nov 22. Giving everyone a head’s up: http://goo.gl/U3niX


  67. Yareally

    You will never rise up in status while you believe you need to rise up in status.

    High status people are high status because of their internal beliefs, not their external achievements.

    Oh God, here we go.

    I’ll never rise in status as long as I believe that I need to rise in status?

    What kind of Jim Carey mumbo jumbo new age bullshit “I create my reality through positive visualizations” coolaid did you swallow?

    Working hard on my business raises my business. It doesn’t raise from prayer and visualization and positive mental beliefs. And yes, working on it was effective, and my business did improve. And along with it my status, as evidenced by the outward displays of status, including control over employees and property.

    I was getting laid fine when I was broke. But when I had a live in girlfriend living with me in an eight hundred dollar A YEAR unfurnished hovel where the only furniture was a old foam twin mattress on the floor and a 15 inch TV in one room, my prospects for upgrading were not as good as when I had two luxury apartments.

    But noooooooooooooooooo. That was all in my head.


    Here we go. Call out the Jim Carey looneys.


    • there’s truth in what he says. first, outer wealth is usually a manifestation of inner frame; confidence, strength, persistence etc. Its ppl who wish for higher status for its own sake who rarely get there.

      second, as a mentor, lover, leader or whatever, im sure most people would rather have someone with serious wisdom and inner strength but lives as a pauper than some bitter, angry, sheisty wall st lawyer type w all the superficial manifestations of material wealth.

      and you can bet your bottom dollar the former could get more tail (of the non-escort variety) than the latter.

      there’s also truth in what you write though: a dude w solid inner who has the outer to match is going to trump both of the above because he is an ideal hybrid of the two, and has more resources at his disposal which opens up more opportunities than otherwise could be had.


    • “Working hard on my business raises my business.”

      True. It doesn’t affect women’s attraction.

      “It doesn’t raise from prayer and visualization and positive mental beliefs.”

      Never said that. I was talking specifically about women because your previous post said you were waiting to “trade up” till you had higher status.

      “And along with it my status, as evidenced by the outward displays of status, including control over employees and property.”

      Super duper. Not relevant to attraction, unless you’re bringing the girls around to your business so she can see you leading your employees.

      “I was getting laid fine when I was broke. But when I had a live in girlfriend living with me in an eight hundred dollar A YEAR unfurnished hovel where the only furniture was a old foam twin mattress on the floor and a 15 inch TV in one room, my prospects for upgrading were not as good as when I had two luxury apartments.”

      This is where you’re mentally stuck. You were getting laid fine when you were broke. You were just as able to get laid when you were in your $800/yr shithole as you were with two luxury apartments, except that you attach your identity to “having stuff”. “I’m not good enough until I have this stuff” It’s the exact same thing as the guy who thinks getting a Ferrari or having a $500k/yr job will get him girls. You’re still attaching your value externally.

      You’re welcome to keep your limiting beliefs, it doesn’t affect my life, but realize that that’s all they are.


  68. Can’t get reply to yareally to show up. Put it on my blog.

    I respect yareally, but loony reality bending ideas I don’t.


  69. I have come to put an end to the ridiculous charade of GBFM. He is comic relief at best, his philosophy is irrational and false. I agree with him on the destruction of fiat currency and central banking, but when he attributes the epistemological cancer eating the West to “neocons”, he and I take a serious issue. Central banking, fiat currency, and Keynesian economics are not products of neoconservatism–wtf?–they are magic thinking 101 from the liberal left. Along with feminism, misandry, no-fault divorce laws, pussycentric physics, and most of the ideas we red pill guys like to spit at. I have no use for the preemptive wars of the neocons, but everything else that GBFM falsely attributes to neocons should be pointed squarely at the left. I am a Libertarian, and I approve this message.


    • on November 4, 2011 at 11:39 am Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM)

      lozozozlzlzl wakepup fucktrard

      da neooocons are leftists!!! dughhu dduhh!!!! they are for more fmeinisstsmss fmore butthextt more war more assocking seesisosn secteietrly taped in colleeg and more assocking divroce court fmeinsimssms zlzozoozoz (dey know that if they can assockc women in college, the owmen will be deosuled band beocme more loyal to da fiat assoccking dollar than their husdbands faiklmiles children church god sysnogue religion and that tucker max rhymes with goldman sax, once he sosodmize your future wife, will rule over her butthexual inciclaiinaationss lzozozlozolz)

      the head of goldman sax is a porud leftist. jonah goldberg, a neoonc, is for more feminism as “women tame men”. so big business and big government are both for more feminsms and more war as both translfer assettsts to the money prointers and away from real men who take all the risks and fight and die in wars and are buttcocked in divroce court zlzoozoz by the fmeinsist law ssystem which neoocnc jonah goldgeeber furtehrs and fanatzizies and loves lzozozzl


      rnecoconservatism: why do jonah goldberg and charlotte allen and teh weekly standard hate on/ignore true heroes and classical marriage and men’s rights and shed love on Tucker Max who films butthex with girls without the girl’s consent? butthexx!! lozlzlzlzlzlz lzlz!! goldberg says we need more feminism & family killing! lzozl!

      March 10, 2010 12:00 A.M.
      Where Feminists Get It Right
      Women civilize men. ’Nuff said.

      The reason strikes me as fairly simple. Women civilize men. As a general rule, men will only be as civilized as female expectations and demands force them to be. “Liberate” men from those expectations, and Lord of the Flies logic kicks in. Liberate women from this barbarism, and male decency will soon follow.


      hahahahah! what goldberg is saying that is if his wife didn’t lay down the line, he would be a beasty man alpha male, smacking women around, as that is in in true, deep, neocon nature. lozllz! he admits it! and then he projects it on teh entire world as neocons do to justify their pre-emptive, illegal wars! lzozll!

      What jonah goldberg forgets to mention is that women committed over 50,000,000 abortions/murders (by their choice alone) since the fiat class’s Roe vs. Wade, as well as the fact that women originate over 2/3 of all divorces. This si why the fiat necons love women, as women serve their destructive quest for power.

      This is because divorce and abortion are huge neocon profit centers, which also serve to dehumanize humanity, kill the family, grow the STATE, and make them all suck on the fiat teat that Jonah Goldberg et al dangle from The National Review. lozzllz!

      How come Jonah never talks about this:

      This one-page site has more links about the brutal tyranny that a man can be subjected to once he enters the legal contract of marriage, and even more so after he has children. What was once the bedrock of society, and a solemn tradition that benefited both men and women equally, has quietly mutated under the evil tinkering of feminists, divorce lawyers, and leftists, into a shockingly unequal arrangement, where the man is officially a second-class citizen who is subjected to a myriad of sadistic risks. As a result, the word ‘marriage’ should not even be used, given the totality of changes that have made the arrangement all but unrecognizable compared to its intended ideals. Suicide rates of men undergoing divorce run as high as 20%, and all of us know a man who either committed suicide, or admits seriously considering it during the dehumanization he faced even though he wanted to preserve the union. Needless to say, this is a violation of the US Constitution on many levels, and is incompatible with the values of any supposedly advanced democracy that prides itself on freedom and liberty. There is effectively a tyrannical leftist shadow state operating within US borders but entirely outside the US constitution, which can subject a man to horrors more worthy of North Korea than the US, even if he did not want out of the marriage, did not want to be separated from his children, and did not want to lose job. Any unsuspecting man can be sucked into this shadow state.

      And this:


      Before you take the plunge there are a few things about marriage that you need to be aware of. The institution of marriage as we know it is no more. It has undergone drastic changes in the last 50 years. What used to be a life long commitment, unbreakable barring the most severe circumstances, has been relegislated into something new entirely thanks to the lobbying efforts of radical feminists and the divorce industry. In trying to to make divorce “fail-safe” for homemaker / lower-earner spouses, the bad ones included, they have made marriage “unsafe” for virtually everyone else.

      Marriage today is a temporary union of two individuals where the exit costs are highly asymmetrical. What does that mean? It means that upon the dissolution of the marriage, one spouse generally makes off like a bandit, while the other is pushed into a life of unending poverty, abridged civil rights, and being two paychecks away from arrears, contempt, and prison.


      Why doesn’t this bother Jonah: “4. Decriminalization of Adultery – Adultery is no longer a crime. However the failure to pay alimony to an adulterous spouse is. Go figure.”

      How come Jonah & his neocon elites never stick up for the common man, who, btw, is dying on foreign shores for their unconstitutional, undeclared foreign wars?

      he fundamental thing that everyone is missing is that the neocons are exalting beta males such as tucker max as alpha males, while ignoring the true alphas they send to foreign shores to die in their wars.


      please allow me to draw your attention to usmc Corporal Jason L. Dunham.


      “On April 14, 2004, 3 days after Easter Sunday, Corporal Dunham was manning a checkpoint in Karabilah, Iraq, when an insurgent leapt from his car and began choking Corporal Dunham. A scuffle ensued as two Marines approached to help. Reportedly, the last words from Corporal Dunham were, “No, No. Watch his hand.” Suddenly, the insurgent dropped a grenade. Corporal Dunham took off his Kevlar helmet, dropped to the ground, and covered the explosive as best he could.

      The blast seriously wounded all 3 Marines. Eight days later, Corporal Jason L. Dunham died at Bethesda Naval Hospital from wounds he received in the incident. He was 22. ”

      now the funny thing is that to the neocons the greater hero is Tucker Max, even though true heroes such as jason et al. are dying in the neocons’ war.

      Now our foxy Ms. Allen could have used the precious space in the Weekly Standard to give a shout out to a true American hero–Corporal Jason L. Dunham.

      But instead, she regurgitates tucker’s lies and corporate PR, as douchebaggery makes aging neocon’s ginas tingle, while true american heroism leaves them dry:

      “Tucker Max, 33, six feet tall, extrovertedly good-looking, and usually photographed latched to a girl, a bottle of booze, or a cheeseburger, is an honors graduate (in three years) of the University of Chicago. He has a law degree from Duke University, whose admissions committee was so impressed with his academic record that it awarded him an academic scholarship. . . Max is famous as a blogger (tuckermax.com), and his website is replete with stories like the ones above, all involving graphically rendered bedroom exploits (if your definition of bedroom includes vans, offices, and the great outdoors), massive quantities of alcohol, and copious vomiting. He is the author of several books, including The Definitive Book of Pickup Lines (2001, out of print but selling for close to $200 on Amazon), the 2006 blockbuster I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, which spent more than 100 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list, and the forthcoming Assholes Finish First. Beer in Hell, a dramatization of some of his website yarns, became an indie movie hit in college towns last fall. ”

      Tucker lies about his height & success & films buttsex without the woman’s consent, and thus the weekly standard exalts him, while rejecting and ignoring all those true heroes jumping on grenades in their war.




  70. Beautiful post as ever.


  71. Lefty male Washington Post editors paw sexy conservative reporter as they tell her that Herman Cain “had it coming” in terms of sexual harassment charges:


    Watch the drunk hypocrite member of our “elite” paw the girl while not emitting any form of charm/intelligence/game that might make her like it.


  72. I attach a picture. I know my nose is quite big and my chin is too manly [ed: her nose is big, but her chin and jawline are not too manly], but I cannot afford plastic surgery and my boyfriend says I’m still too young to even think about it.

    What ethnic group does this gal belong to, Heartiste?

    [Heartiste: white.]


  73. @Student:

    No, I lived in Germany for 23 years as an adult, most of my adult life as a matter of fact, and returned to the US about a year ago. I own an apartment and a house in Germany and an apartment in Kiev. I doubt you have been to Europe more than me at all. I remember the old Germany and it was generally a better place than it is today, as with the US. Its a well run nanny state operating on borrowed time.

    I’m half German and I grew up there for part of my childhood before the 23 years thing. You’re very wrong about Muslims not having any influence at all, the whole left leaning German political establishment kisses Muslim ass and discriminates against native Germans in their favor to overcome the Nazi baggage. Ignoring the problem doesn’t mean one doesn’t exist. Their lack of a future perspective and unwillingness to be proud of who they are and what they have accomplished for the sake of some Gunther Grass idea that all races and nations are equal. I used to believe that too propaganda too, but have since concluded that Europe is just too pussified to take seriously. They want to die a slow and peaceful death and manage their decline. The whole third world romanticization idiocy has come to disgust me.

    I’ve never read the protocols of the Elders of Zion, I’m only familiar with it at arms length. My ideas are based on what I read in Ancient history and life experience. I still think you’re a girl and a sock puppet and I still think you’re a posturing commie for the sake of appearing clever. Sorry, Iran with nukes is nothing to sneeze at. As a minimum we can’t allow our scope of action to be limited by that. We need to be actively destabilizing that nation. We should have never agreed to leave Iraq either. All of these decisions will have us going back again within a decade to fight another, much bigger war. Parthia delenda est.


    • cold war cat. that’s cool, but it totally frames your perspective. look, im sure we could sit fuer ein Mass oder zwei and have an interesting chat about intergenerational perspectives. id even be willing to agree with you about whether the guest worker program justifies an overstaying of the welcome. i admit intercultural challenges, but where you might see race riots in paris being evidence of of muslim monstrosity, i see stanley cup riots in Vancouver as an EG of “the good guys” being much worse; here are upper middle class establishment types lighting police cars on fire for literally no reason. you ever been to a ghetto in paris? ever seen france from the eyes of an immigrant? ever studied the algerian war? who were the biggest terrorists there? are you old enough to remember that massacre in paris in ’61?

      its true that theo van gogh got shanked in his pork belly, but could you imagine someone publicly desecrating the bible via internet, then trotting around the US not fearing for their life? shit, even the fellas of top gear got stoned within minutes of entering alabama with “Nascar sucks” and “hillary 4 prez” painted on their cars.

      you got this bizarre hangup on muslims. big clue is you find confederate flags to be a turn on. its far off man. it really is. but ill never convince you, nor do i care enough to try.


  74. There is even scientific evidence for this; after marriage, men in a variety of occupations — science, math, business — experience a reduction in their productive output.

    Do you have a citation for this?


  75. First I gotta commend ch for making sure this girl remains fearful of her Alpha BF. The unwritten desired outcome of her letter is for ch to VALIDATE her. Doing so would have given her a false sense of entitlement, and thus begin a downward spiral for her relationship and set up a self-rationalization hamster wheel.
    On behalf of us who are married or in LTRs I thank you for not letting us down.

    Now…. there are two notes of advice that I disagree.
    (1) Nose Job:
    -speaking of personal opinion… a woman who wants to ARTIFICIALLY improve her looks is only worth a one-night-stand.
    -Surgery is not weight-training. Unlike weight-training, surgery requires no discipline, character, nor drive. All surgery requires is $$.

    (2) “You may even want to flirt with other men and try to make your boyfriend jealous. Don’t overdo this, though. If he’s as alpha as you say he is, he’ll have no trouble upping the jealousy ante with his own flirtations.”
    -fuck that…. DO NOT FLIRT, avoid the advances of other males and remain humble.
    -Making her alpha male slightly jealous will get her kicked her out!!!!
    -The idea that making her alpha male slightly jealous will lead him to pay more attention to her is a MISTAKE. He will feel disrespect and pissed off, thus making him likely to throw her out!
    -The jealousy trick only works for men keeping their women attracted, not the other way around!!!!

    Now I will add an advice that you missed… and it is probably the REASON why he took her as a girlfriend.
    -Do not think that because you are in a LTR or married, you can start placing demands, ignore his wishes, disrespect him, and overstep his boundaries.
    (2) Understand that he is the man his decisions are FINAL.
    -Is OK to bring up things that you disagree, and appeal to him to change his mind.
    -But once he makes a Final Decision, adhere to it, even if you don’t quite agree with it.
    -You can appeal his decisions, but don’t confront him ad nauseum. (and watch your tone of voice when appealing his decision)
    -And don’t ever, ever ignore his decisions and go against him. You will be dumped.
    —- these last two points I made are probably the REASON why he chose to “settle” with her. Very few American women adhere to this two points and ignoring them is the reason why American women are do bitchy and entitled.—-


  76. I have the same issues as this girl, actually.

    My boyfriend is alpha, and very handsome. I am not good-looking.

    I love him, though, and I want to keep him around. So:

    1.) I do put effort into staying in shape. (Crossfit + paleo.)
    2.) Show him as much affection as I can.
    3.) Polyamory. He gets, like, three girls a week other than me.
    4.) I earn more than him, and my start-up is on an upward trajectory; from a purely mercenary standpoint, he’s better off with me.

    I sure as hell hope it’s enough.