182 Days Of Blue Balls

Are happiness and sex antagonistic? A new study reports that couples who waited to have sex were happier in the long run. (Usual caveats about the accuracy of Daily Mail reporting apply.)

A study of hundreds of couples found those who waited to have sex were happier in the long-run.

Women particularly benefited from not leaping into bed at the first opportunity. Marriage also seemed to make them happier than co-habiting.

The researchers said delaying sex gave couples time to get to know each other and work out just how compatible they were.

Without this period of courtship, judgment can be clouded, leading to couples falling into unfulfilling long-term relationships. […]

Analysis of the data clearly showed the women who had waited to have sex to be happier. And those who waited at least six months scored more highly in every category measured than those who got intimate within the first month. Even their sex lives were better.

The link was weaker for men. However, those who waited to get physically involved had fewer rows.

Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder? Would seem like it. But not so fast.

First, I’m not surprised women who waited — or, more precisely, made their beta boyfriends wait — were more satisfied with their relationships. Women are psychologically, and ultimately biologically, predisposed to prefer holding out for sex, because it allows them more time to judge men’s mate quality and investment potential without risking a pregnancy by a man who might flee the next morning. There are very good evolutionary reasons why a woman would make a suitor wait as a test of his commitment to her. A man who is willing to suffer 182 days of this:

…is a man who is likely to stick around after she pops out a newt.

Second, selection bias. Does waiting to have sex really make couples happier, or are couples who are more likely to wait for sex also more likely to be content and fight less within long-term monogamous relationships? I suspect the latter. The kind of people who empathize easily and go along to get along are also the kind of people who have the patience of a saint. I bet people like this also have lower sex drives. It’s doubtful that sex itself, or refraining from having sex, is the causative factor in their happiness.

Third, some recent studies have shown that men derive their happiness within relationships from their lovers’ happiness. That is, when their women are happy, men are happy. The reverse is not necessarily true. So a woman who has held out for sex to make an “unclouded” judgment — and isn’t it funny that women think more clearly when abstaining from sex, while men think more clearly when sexually fulfilled? — is more likely to be happy with her choice of man, and consequently her happiness will infuse her man’s happiness level. But a man would be just as happy with a sexpot who put out early and often as long as she was happy with him (and faithful).

The biggest problem with this study is definitional. Happiness is not love, and it’s not sexual attraction. Love is passion. Happiness is contentment. Love is volatility. Happiness is calm acceptance, even noble resignation. Love is dizzying crescendos. Happiness is rhythmic tempo. Love is hope. Happiness is the relinquishment of hope. Similar contrasts can be made between happiness and lust. Conflating all these as if they were of equal merit, or equally valued, is misleading.

Most couples do not wait 182 days to have sex with the goal of maximizing their mutual happiness, and so we can conclude that most couples are willing to forego long-term happiness for short-term ecstasy. Our revealed preferences indicate that happiness is not high on our mental checklist of values or emotional states.

It’s an intriguing hypothesis, though, that the happiness women gain from lengthy periods of enforced abstinence they sacrifice in sexual and romantic satisfaction. The committed beta provider that female-compelled (and it’s rarely male-compelled) abstinence selects for comes at the cost of losing the sexy alpha cad that female-compelled abstinence selects against.

Maybe some massively underacknowledged subculture of preternaturally abnegating abstinent Evangelicals exists of which I’m only dimly aware that skews the average time couples spend in sexless purgatory well into the double and triple digit days, but in the world I live in — the one that’s pretty much a given in any community that isn’t orthodox religious — a 60 day wait for sex is nearly unheard of, let alone a 182 day wait. In fact, a wait beyond three weeks is pretty much folly for any man dating your typical SWPL chick; by that time, she will have moved on to fucking some dude who actually turns her on. Even the women who say they want to wait longer than convention would react with disbelief if a man told them he would be willing to wait six months before having sex. It’s that weird.

What good is long-term happiness if you can’t even score the short-term thrill? There’s the rub. As a man, you are really rolling low odds by pursuing, or, more precisely, by abiding the woman’s pursuing, the “wait to elate” strategy. The far-future happiness and relationship stability that a long sexless courtship might offer is greatly outweighed by the high risk that you de facto castrate yourself to the woman you are chastely wooing. You’d be a fool to avoid the bedroom for very long, when there is a good chance some other man will distract your girl’s attention during her prolonged bout of purity. And an even better chance you’ll accidentally say or do something during the dry months of your courtship that extinguishes the spark of her attraction for you.

This severing of happiness from sexual triumph, for both sexes, is one of the great unrecognized repercussions of the past 60 years of our Wild West mating market. And it seems like this is exactly the way most of us want it.





Comments


  1. Why not 183 days?

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  2. Is this study based on self-reporting? It’s possible that those who had sex late might have convinced themselves that it was all for the better. For this, and the reasons you have stated, there seems to be no causal link between delaying sex and happiness.

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    • Probably the girls who can wait 6 months and make a guy wait 6 months are religious, high-status females (i.e., very hot) who would’ve been happy ANYWAY. It’s documented that religious people tend to be happier, and goodlooking people tend to be happier.

      People with high sex drives tend to be bitches and jerks, and it’s not surprising they feel less happier.

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  3. “Does waiting to have sex really make couples happier, or are couples who are more likely to wait for sex also more likely to be content and fight less within long-term monogamous relationships?”

    Beat me to it. “Couples who don’t/can’t wait for sex” includes all the immature and selfish people who are not able to defer gratification, and all the people who are just plain stupid. It includes people who get themselves knocked up with an unplanned pregnancy, and have to live with the consequences.

    It’s just not a useful statistic, is what I am saying.

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    • No, selfish people “delay gratification” (whatever that means) when they have no choise. I would like to see a study done where the women wait and the men don’t and see how many couples are “happy” compared to the men waiting while the women don’t. I think an 80% 20% rule would apply to both cases.

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    • “all the people who are just plain stupid. It includes people who get themselves knocked up with an unplanned pregnancy, and have to live with the consequences.”

      What consequences?

      The college girls get abortions. The ‘hood girls don’t.

      In both cases, they are doing the smart thing. The college girls can continue their education and find a provider hubby who will give them free money, housing, and healthcare. The ‘hood girls will get free money, housing, and healthcare from you, the taxpayer, while they get to fuck various thuglife guys.

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  4. Friend of mine likes to say: Abstinance makes the heart go yonder.

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    • I had a psychotic BPD girlfriend who would say, “Absence makes the heart go wander.” Shit test. When she shipped out on a movie production, we broke up. She got herself knocked up within three months by a member of the sound crew.

      You know that famous scene in The Matrix when Neo is dodging the bullets in slow-mo? I felt like that.

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  5. They probably were on antidepressants that made them happier but lowered their sex drive…

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  6. In the last couple of years, I have had three different women pull the ‘6 month rule’ on me. The actual time they waited was 4 dates, 6 dates and 7 dates. Of course, after reading sites like this, I understand that this was totally MY fault. They all liked me, they were all sexually excited and although i actually believe that THEY actually believed they wanted to wait the 6 months, their hind brains were all waiting for me to pull the trigger. Each time, we were heavy kissing and very warmed up. I would say something like ‘my pants are too tight’ and pull my dick out. Their pupils would dilate and the rest is history. Post sex, they all commented on how much of a player I must be to talk them into something that they would NEVER do.

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  7. Definitely low sex drive among the alleged responders… often makes the woman ‘happy’ in a marriage when the man’s libido is stunted to her level.

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  8. What you said about love is actually what goes on during lust. But love and happiness are two different things.

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  9. Couples who wait are also more likely to be religious and high SES, both of which already correlate positively with happiness. So, worthless study.

    Interesting subject though. Like most men my age, I’ve never waited more than a few dates for sex, in any relationship I’ve ever been in. I wonder how it would change the dynamic.

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  10. On a side note, I’m not sure what that picture is… but I know I don’t like it.

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  11. Its “blue balls” Greg.

    Didn’t you hear?

    They discovered a new “white monkey” in Africa

    Aren’t you glad?

    You now have “rep” in da mother land!

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  12. True story. I met a girl about 8 years ago who lived in China while I lived in HK. I’d see her 2-3 times a year when i was on my business trips. We hung out. she was sexy, slim, quiet and very attentive. I didn’t know anything about game. After I learned game, she came to visit with her friend. That’s when I gamed her and fucked her hard one night. She basically said “what took you so long, I was beginning to think you were gay”. Now all we do when we meet up is fuck. That’s all she ever wanted.

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  13. Happiness is overrated.

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  14. Don’t forget another factor : if your woman made you wait before sleeping with you and it wasn’t some kind of game, that means she’s worth a long term relationship more than the woman you brought home after a 2 hours coffee. She is the serious type.

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  15. How to fail a shit test, from 4chan: http://i.imgur.com/kqokp.png

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  16. I wonder how this study’s findings would gel with this one?
    https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2011/02/16/file-under-science-love-at-first-same-night-lay/

    In an analysis of relationship surveys, UI sociologist Anthony Paik found that average relationship quality was higher for individuals who waited until things were serious to have sex compared to those who became sexually involved in “hookups,” “friends with benefits,” or casual dating relationships.

    But having sex early on wasn’t to blame for the disparity. When Paik factored out people who weren’t interested in getting serious, he found no real difference in relationship quality. That is, couples who became sexually involved as friends or acquaintances and were open to a serious relationship ended up just as happy as those who dated and waited.

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  17. Waited 3 months before having sex with my now husband, we’ve been together now 8 years. He has like you mention the patience of a saint, and a lower? sex drive (though it’s also because we’ve been together 8 years). I admit i have a horrible temper (the need then to have a husband who is patient) but he loves me still, and even more now with our new baby. And it also helps that I’m a 9.

    It’s definitely important in the beginning for a woman to weed out the cad, to find a man that will love her as a person first and foremost. Because when the going gets tough, when the passion ends and baby/sleepless nights occurs, that man (hopefully) will most likely hang around.

    The study is pretty accurate for me and my husband because we are compatible, we have fewer rows and are happier.

    But, I agree with the author, i do think long term marriage/happiness and (mind blowing passionate) sex/temporary happiness are opposites. You can’t have both. You can’t have the dizzying crescendos, volatility and passion in a long term relationship. You become content, accepting of the monotonous daily routine and you become more secure in your relationship and thereby obtain this different type of happiness.

    Finally, my husband’s motto is “happy wife, happy life”… I definitely married well. I love him even more now after all these years, he is the needle in the haystack. So I guess then the study mentioned above is pretty accurate.

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    • > Finally, my husband’s motto is “happy wife, happy life”…

      You’re a nine and you married an emasculated beta? Yeah, that’ll last…

      > He has like you mention the patience of a saint, and a lower? sex drive (though it’s also because we’ve been together 8 years).

      Oh wait, it’s all becoming clear now…

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      • Alpha man for a fun one night stand, beta for long term. Just the other week I had an alpha man wanting sex with me, I said no. There are faithful women like me out there. It’s not all about sex or alpha/beta, its about the quality of the man. For me, I can never live without him/get a divorce so I will never cheat on him.

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      • Turbo, yeah sometimes I wish my husband was a 9 too like the alpha man the other week. But really, could it have worked in the long run. Alpha man has more women fawning themselves on him. Read somewhere, man likes new pussy. So really, when my imaginary alpha male husband is 40 and I’m 40. New pussy is 20 and gushing all over him. What do you think he will do?

        I choose to believe in the man loving me more, it’s too difficult otherwise. Settling, possibly. Any advice.

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      • Oh, you just happened to be hit on by an “alpha” recently and rejected him, which coincidentally supports your story? How convenient.

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      • No, alpha man and I have known each other since 2006. It just so happens that I was already with my now husband when I met him. Oh and my husband is a 7/8, hes not a beta and is pretty smart, so no I didn’t just make alpha man up. I believe in the good of people, like women who can be faithful.

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      • Now the hubby’s a 7 or 8 and an alpha…. the shit keeps piling higher…

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      • Turbo, man you’re bitter. Who hurt you man. I was just posting a comment about my experience and the good of people. Seems like its not appreciated.

        It’s not “shit”, its real, its me. I exist. You need to get rid of that bitterness and have some hope. Love and the good woman exists.

        I’m not saying its you. But I worked for a short old lawyer one time, he was so bitter it was insane. Everything he said was sarcastic. His wife left him. I wonder why.

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      • Bitter or Skeptical? Your story is on the fishy side…
        You need some proof.

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      • When the bullshit doesn’t work, go for the personal attacks… classic.

        Hey, I think your story is totally entertaining… it’s completely fabricated dung from the hind end of a ruminant but it’s great reading…

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      • Evilalpha, proof that the short old lawyer i worked for was bitter or that there are women like me out there? Either way, it’s not like I’m a man posting here as a woman, why on earth would I do that? Waste my time posting on a site that’s not appreciating the good, hmm…

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      • Now the hamster starts

        Don’t act coy. Of course i’m not talking about the lawyer when I said proof.

        Anonymous picture for us to judge… or get the fuck out.

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      • > Either way, it’s not like I’m a man posting here as a woman, why on earth would I do that?

        I think the truth just came out here. At first I figured MB was a middle-aged, overweight hausfrau coming here to try and get some of the validation she lacks in her loveless marriage, but now it’s looking like “she” is a manboobz libtard trying to “learn” us poor schlubs… You’re outed, buddy!

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      • Turbo, ‘fabricated dung from the hind end of a ruminant’ hahaha…I love it. That is pretty funny, you know, I’m starting to really like you.

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      • Evilalpha, wow man, bullying is not on. Your lost if you choose to believe that there are no good women out there. And its a post for everyone, man and women. So no, I’m not getting the fuck out. Who are you to tell me what to do? I’ve not done anything to you, so I would appreciate it if you show me the same courtesy.

        Turbo, touché. That is pretty funny too.

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      • I’m not courteous to liars. Fuck you.

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      • Evilalpha, wow, big of you. I was just starting to like you too. Care to share your story? Maybe it’ll be quite interesting too.

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      • but now it’s looking like “she” is a manboobz libtard trying to “learn” us poor schlubs… You’re outed, buddy!

        Exactly… an alleged 9 with an alpha hubby… who is only beta for her, of course… who’s just had a kid, yet has the time and inclination to visit the chateau and sign in as Miss_beauty?

        Reeks of mint a league off.

        On a side note, it is extremely droll that the “she’s just a slut for me” and the “he’s just a beta for me” syndrome yin and yang hamsters run equally wild in the manosphere.

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      • Greg Eliot, baby is sleeping, im on an iPad bored at home in front of tv.

        Who cares what my name is, is your name Greg Eliot? Miss_beauty is me reminiscing about the good old days.

        And I came across heartiste post a few weeks back, first time writing and find out that I’m not welcome. Wow, isn’t this great. So far ive been called a slut, libtard, ruminant, liar, queer. Care to throw in any more names?

        Fantastic way to welcome someone, Hasn’t anyone told you, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything?

        Maybe if you all also put a real picture of yourself up, then you might think twice about what you say.

        Posted on here, thinking I might help somebody, instead I’m not welcome. Wow, bitter men out there. Care to think why the guys thats called me names don’t have much luck with women?

        If you want to play that game, I’m up for it. Let’s go.

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      • GE, don’t take offense, this is just a copy of the below comment I made.

        “Came on here in good faith just putting my two cents worth, instead I’ve been called a libtard, ruminant, slut, troll, gay, liar, told to fuck off.

        Who looks bad in all of the above, the ones that resorted to name calling first. Wow, bitter men. I never knew.

        Point, baby is safe and sleeping. I’m on an iPad, bored was watching tv about to sleep now. The name Miss_beauty is me reminiscing about the past NOT I repeat, not me bragging.”

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    • he’s a closet homo.

      you’re welcome.

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      • Haha… He’s not a closet homo. We have great sex.

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      • He was talking about you, Boy George.

        What is it about queers that they assume these I’m-a-9-my-hubby-is-an-alpha-who-hangs-on-my-every-word personae in Cyberia?

        Sheesh… there’s no drama queen like a queen drama queen.

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      • What, I’m gay now?

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      • A hint of mint… and more than a hint.

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      • Greg Eliot, if I’m gay, you’re King Leonadis.

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      • This… is… SPARTAAAAAAA!!!

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      • I love that movie, as we all know King Leonadis is dead.

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      • But his spirit lives on… to eternity.

        Much like my mocking of your ‘net alter ego.

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      • All this talk of queer, maybe you’re a closet gay, care to share?

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      • Never known it to fail.

        “You’re just jealous…”

        “You’re dick is small…”

        “Rancor of homos = closet fagdom…”

        You dweebs really have to develop a new litany… the old one is played… soooooooo played.

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      • Hell, your

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      • Oh my God, I know now, it’s my name. You dweebs so to speak, have been rejected so much that you’re all taking it out on me.

        Hell, your… Can’t factor in more than two words? It’s like talking to a two years old, I know right? I’m in dweebville.

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      • The “Hell, your” post was a correction of my “you’re” mistake in the previous one.

        And for the record, that whole “you’ve been rejected so much” is just a variant on the “small dick” litany. Again, soooooo played.

        I know it’s hard to own it, but the mockery you get on this board is due to your own words. Projecting projection only adds gas to the fire.

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      • She’s got the universal troll playbook and she’s running it step by step.

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      • I didn’t start calling people names, Greg Eliot you called me gay first. What, you want me to sit down and take it. Like you said, projection only adds fuel to the fire. You’re saying I’m gay is your projection so I’m bringing it back to you, that you’re gay since you projected it first. I have nothing against you otherwise.

        Turbo, troll handbook, really. I’m not into bashing men, I’m sticking up for me. If you give me shit, I’ll give it back.

        And you’ll find I’ve not started any of the insults. Came on here in good faith just putting my two cents worth, instead I’ve been called a libtard, ruminant, slut, troll, gay, liar, told to fuck off.

        Who looks bad in all of the above, the ones that resorted to name calling first. Wow, bitter men. I never knew.

        Point, baby is safe and sleeping. I’m on an iPad, bored was watching tv about to sleep now. The name Miss_beauty is me reminiscing about the past NOT I repeat, not me bragging.

        Anything else you want to talk about. Any other names you want to call me?

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      • Sorry guys. I’m siding with the miss here.
        Can’t blame her for anything, except if she settled with her hubby at 30 after riding the cock carousel like Kay below.

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      • We’re back to “bitter?” Ugh, I hate re-runs…

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      • Turbo, we havent finished with the subject, so it’s not a re-run.

        Olympius, I adore you!

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      • What, you want me to sit down and take it.

        It would be a change from the usual bend over.

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      • Greg Eliot, that’s actually pretty funny.

        Okay, goodnight all. It’s been fun, first time here posting and its an eye opener. See you in another comment post maybe.

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      • Make your point once and move on. There’s a good girl.

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      • Turbo, really? I was about to go but instead…”There’s a good girl” Are you kidding me? Don’t call me a good girl in that condescending tone.

        And you haven’t repeated your points of view in comment post, really? So you only “make your point once and move on”. Let me look back through your comments and see whether you’ve not done the same.

        You know I’m onto something, I’ve hit the nail on the head. Otherwise you wouldn’t be so condescending and riding me about bitterness all this time.

        Bitterness is changeable, it’s not a fix description of the man. So if anyone is worried about their masculinity, don’t worry, your masculinity is not threatened. There are bitter women out there too.

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      • So if anyone is worried about their masculinity…

        Same song, different verse… sigh.

        I always make it a point to gird my loins before posting.

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      • I tried to read your last post but you’re becoming boring. I’m bored. But ol’ Turbo seems to be getting deep inside your head. I have that effect on women…

        Now run along like you promised.

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      • Turbo, goodbye, you’ve gone nowhere deep in my head.

        Greg Eliot, comment on girding your loins before posting, I had to laugh out loud, fantastic. Great comeback. I know I can be a bit tough, but im funny too.

        Goodnight both.

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      • And yet you keep coming back hoping for a little more of my attention… isn’t that curious? Now be a good girl and go away.

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      • Turbo, I can say the same thing about you being here. Now be a good boy and run along now.

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      • The hamster keeps spinning and you keep coming back with excuses to talk to me. Hilarious…

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      • Hamster really? You’re borderline creepy, pick on a woman who basically didnt really say anything bad about men. In fact, she was quite supportive of men. I said “there are great men out there”, i said “i could never live without my husband”.

        I looked back and read through the first of your argument that you didn’t like about me and that was “happy wife, happy life”. For your information, this is what my husband said first, not what I said he had to follow. As a general rule, all marriages of course both parties have to be happy, I’m not an idiot.

        So what is I said I’m a nine, Who cares? It’s what my husband said, and I agree with him, what are you?

        My husband does have a patience of a saint and he has a lower sex drive, what is it to you? Have you been with anyone for 8 years, working hard all week, tired with a baby that sex is the last thing on your mind?

        If you took the time to read back, I actually came to you about my man problem. I asked you if you had any advice. Instead you just resort to calling me a liar, huh…

        Don’t just sit there behind a screen name calling me all sorts of names. care to share your story. Have the courage like I did?

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      • For a while I thought you were cute but now you’re turning into a psycho hose beast with stalker tendencies… ick.

        That “alpha” hubby of yours must be quite a keeper with all the time you spend here…

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      • There it is: the “creepy” attack! Lord I wish our trolls-of-the-week would at least bother to peruse the archives before shitting the bed like their forerunners.

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      • Driveallnight, I havent just shitted on the bed nor am I a troll, thank you very much. I’m basically a nice person, so by saying creepy it was me toning down my expletive. Driveallnight, are you Turbo in disguise? He started it, just know if you give me shit, i’m going to give you shit back.

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      • If you read the archives you’d understand. But ya haven’t, obviously.

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      • I have seen an obsessive bitch like this since college. I guess that “alpha” hubby of hers ain’t doing the trick…

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      • Omg, okay I give up. You guys are too much. Wow! Just wow.

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      • We got a “just wow.” Classic!!

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      • Anyone going to help me get rid of this bully?

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      • Sweetie, if you want to fuck, just say you want to fuck. Stop with the coy routine.

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      • Btw, junior players, this is a classic example of vagina tingle… she says she hates me but she keeps coming back for more…

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      • You’re smart, empowered woman who’s EVERY BIT THE EQUAL of any man….so why are you retreating to the damsel-in-distress routine, sugartits?

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      • Driveallnight, sugartits, that’s the best you can do. I’ll add that to the list of libtard, ruminant, troll, bitch, slut, told to fuck off.

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      • You still begged for someone to come to your rescue, honeybutt. Not very empowered of you….

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      • She told you, driveallnight. No wait, I guess she didn’t…

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      • Uh oh, now she’s latching on to you, drive. You’re not trying to steal my woman, are you? ;O

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      • Fuck it, Turbo. Let’s just hope the towtruck arrives soon.

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      • “Anyone going to help me get rid of this bully?”

        = Feminism, in a nutshell.

        Also, this comment thread could be turned into a predict-the-hamster drinking game.

        Reading this makes me feel like one of those “Precogs” in ‘Minority Report’. >.<

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      • +1

        The entire litany was recited, as if by rote:

        Jealous.
        Bitter.
        Small-dick.
        Masculinity threatened.
        Closet gay.
        Creepy.
        Bully.
        Wow… just wow.

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    • New meat… and it’s always an 8 or a 9, with a doting hubby.

      Go figure.

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    • The relationship is made much stronger if the woman is not a feminist slut, and is not in the relationship to butthex rape the man with divorce.

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      • Obstinance Work, are you saying I’m a feminist slut? Haha… I’m into preserving my heart, as sex clouds my head and i cant seperate just having sex without liking the guy and getting attached. I was lucky enough to find a mate who I’m compatible with first.

        I did study Gender Studies/Women studies at uni, but I’m not a slut. I would appreciate you not calling me names as I’ve not done anything to you.

        And I will never divorce my husband, he means the world to me. It’s not about money, it’s about love and long term compatibility.

        And there are faithful women like me out there. You won’t get anywhere being bitter. 

        See my comment:-

        Alpha man for a fun one night stand, beta for long term. Just the other week I had an alpha man wanting sex with me, I said no. There are faithful women like me out there. It’s not all about sex or alpha/beta, its about the quality of the man. For me, I can never live without him/get a divorce so I will never cheat on him.

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      • I you would be a 9, most “alpha men” would try to stay with you. You are a 6 at best. So you want the alpha cock but you stay loyal to your boyfriend, or better… you stay loyal to your baby !! But every-time a “alpha” comes by you will be attracted to him. I don’t call that love, that’s denying your very nature.

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      • A 9 that did gender studies… this story is getting better and better… let me get my popcorn!

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      • Marcellus, good point about denying our very nature. But point is, being attracted to someone does not mean i’m going to have sex with them, There are the vows i made when i got married. Again, Husband is not beta, is nice and is a lawyer, so he’s smart. Believe it or not, Intelligence also turns me on.

        Alpha man may be very hot, charming, plays by the game. But there are smart women who can see through that, some women want more than just looks. Looks fade.

        Turbo, can I have some of that popcorn too? 🙂

        I’m just getting started.

        Like


      • Yes. PUAs know that attraction alone does not get the girl. Qualification and comfort come next. The devil is in the details and he knows how to get in yur panties.

        Like


      • Yes I agree with you here.

        Like


      • I didn’t claim you to be a slut or a feminist, but if you took Womans Studies as as a fucking major, Mizz Cookie Bumbles, you most certainly are a crazy feminist bitch and you have the fucking papers to prove it!

        It’s not about the sex? So sex with you sucks huh, and not in the good way?

        Where is it you go to “turn down” these “alpha men” you would NEVER EVER EVER FUCK? Your statements are loaded….

        You don’t want none of this funky monkey sauce!

        Like


      • OB, I never said you said I was a slut or a feminist nor did my questions posed as a threat to you. Yes it’s not just about sex, it should be in the beginning of any relationship. Sexual compatibility of course is important. I TURNED DOWN THESE ALPHA MEN BECAUSE IM MARRIED WITH A BABY. if you’re going to use caps I will too.

        Don’t call me a crazy feminist bitch, I’m so pro man and if you see my comment above, I am actually agreeing with you!

        Like


      • No the caps are FOR ME BABY! I know you are a PRO with men.

        Like


      • Oh really? Looking for a fight?

        Like


    • If you just had a baby, you’re not a 9.

      Like


  18. on September 17, 2012 at 1:43 pm gunslingergregi

    least it wasen’t her name

    Like


  19. on September 17, 2012 at 1:44 pm gunslingergregi

    i guess question would be where did they find the people who waited 180 days
    and are we talking high school kids or something waiting for prom

    Like


  20. on September 17, 2012 at 1:47 pm gunslingergregi

    course i haven’t fucked my wife in over 365 days so uhh yea god dam i wish i could just get the fuck out of the us always somethin.

    Like


  21. on September 17, 2012 at 1:57 pm gunslingergregi

    or maybe studies will show one day that people are diferent or life blows either way just kill yourself

    Like


  22. I’ll just leave this here…

    psst! hey!…its a girl making a video worshiping her boyfriend (she shows a pic of him, try not to laugh)

    Like


    • The Brit riddle solved: Mating with equines leads to bad teeth.

      Like


    • The guy’s name is Cyrus? I can’t hear that name without thinking of this movie.

      Like


      • That movie was a modern-day retelling of Anabasis.

        Back in the day, Cyrus was brother to the Persian king, and hired 10K Greek mercenaries to march against said brother. Cyrus was killed, and the Greeks had to fight their way back home from Persia.

        Like


      • Sounds like the plot for a good Zack Snyder movie. Or should that be “good” Zack Snyder movie…

        Like


      • I liked 300, but hell, the graphic novel was pretty much the entire storyboard, so the work was already 95% done.

        Like


      • It was the book that convinced Alexander that Persia could be invaded and conquered. I wonder how the world would have turned out if Phillip II had lived. He was a rare genius and his empire would have been smaller but would have lasted centuries.

        Like


  23. on September 17, 2012 at 2:26 pm gunslingergregi

    gave the old lady 40 grand though so her patience paid off for somethin
    i guess she was right on wanting me to stay alive

    Like


  24. “It’s doubtful that sex itself, or refraining from having sex, is the causative factor in their happiness.”

    Don’t bet on it. Every dick a woman have in her, will chip away a little of her soul. A highly likely corollary to waiting that long, is fewer previous partners. Implying greater happiness with any given partner later on.

    Look at it his way: Sexual ecstasy temporarily adds between 50 and 100 on some scale of positive feeling. Each dick permanently subtracts 1 to 3. Too many of the latter, in the quest to trade a 60 on the former for a 90, and you still come out at a loss.

    Like


  25. “Our revealed preferences indicate that happiness is not high on our mental checklist of values or emotional states.”

    ????

    In economics, happiness is usually definitionally what people seek to achieve.

    A just as good explanation for what you observe, is that competitive pressures lead everyone to settle for suboptimal outcomes. Humans did not evolve under conditions of a gigantic, Leviathan state hellbent on sluttifying females, via prohibition on mate guarding, arbitrary redistributive, and all other manners of modern, progressive, unnatural contrivances.

    These days, in our “society”, a woman insistent on holding out for 6 months, will be looked upon as weird in most communities; will be bypassed for sluttier sisters in the mating game, and by sluttier sisters in the hen circle game. And being an outsider, lone wolf, is not an attractive position for most women.

    But none of that is any indication that women would not be happier in a society where their desire to hold out longer, are reinforced and exalted. In fact, demographics strongly suggest they would indeed be.

    Like


  26. I will wait if and only if the girl is a virgin. And I’ll be trying my best during that waiting period to find out if she really is or not. Other than that, the 3 dates rule apply.

    Like


  27. These men indulge themselves in half-hearted relationships either until they become bored with their flavor of the week and just forget to return their phone calls or until something better comes along. They trade in their 5’6” 25 year old brunette model with a great career and biting sense of humor for a 6’1” 23 year old blond with a tighter ass and bigger breasts and more willingness to give head and swoon at their advances. In my years of overanalyzing men, I sometimes wonder if it’s because a woman gets too close or too intimate and the man has to bail before he gets hurt or is found out to be a worthless loser in an expensive suit.

    For whatever reason, I am attracted to this type of man. It’s almost like I’m a blood hound, able to smell their issues from miles away, and find myself inexplicably drawn to it. Even though these guys are more often than not a loser in a pricey suit, there is some feeling of victory I experience when I’m let into the heavily guarded recesses of his soul and find that he’s not a douche bag, that he’s actually a person, a human being with a heart and a soul, that he’s a decent, caring, but misguided man. But, sometimes, I’m disappointed to find that he’s just an asshole who drives a fast car.

    Like


    • You know they are a douchebag and you SHOULDN’T do anything with them, but you can’t help yourself. You do something anyways with these guys and you rationalize it to yourself as he’s the special guy who actually has heart and soul <333 This is precisely why game works people. Make her feel the right way and her hamster seduces her for you.

      Like


    • You can’t do anything about the age, but have you tried lunges, a boob job, and keeping your mouth shut?

      Like


    • Uh… having a great career and biting sense of humor are only attractive in MEN. The feminazism is strong in this one.

      Like


    • Sounds like a winning strategy for a young guy. Put on a suit, get a nice car, game them, fuck them, dump them before they can get that constrictor grip on you, find out what you had to do to get them and then emotionally wound you.

      I used to be that guy in the suit that was playing over his head in the dating marketplace. If the game was such with women were you actually cared about more profound qualities or would invest in promise and potential instead of the flash and the appearance of success, then maybe I would have played a different game.

      It doesn’t take an idiot to notice who women go with and what attracts them or to notice that on a Friday night that you went on after a work happy hour where you had on a suit and had more success then maybe that is the thing that works. Yeah, I’ve asked them to dance and they responded with “What do you do?”. I noticed pretty quickly how the guy driving a BMW and a payment up to ears got a cuter girl than a guy driving an 8 year old Toyota Corolla and banking money on what he said in payments and insurance.

      But the secret is to get out, get away before she can figure out the reality of the bank account or real income and slam him as a douche bag or an asshole in a fast car because he didn’t have the cash that princess felt entitled. Of course she works at Walgreen’s but he better work at Morgan Stanley.

      Steal the bait, escape the trap. Game them, pump them, dump them.

      In the end, the men fucked you. That is the end, the goal of the game.

      After all, you could have said “Hey, I understand the front you have to put on to get with attractive women. How you have to appear be more financially able than you are. Money matters to women. But we could team up. I’ll stand by you and together we can make it happen.”

      But we know that’s not gonna happen is it?

      Like


  28. I think you might be overlooking something. When it comes to “happiness” that results from biological success, men have both r and K strategies at their disposal.

    Winning through quantity by injecting genetic material into as many fertile, healthy wombs as possible has some obvious plusses. But as a man achieves more social success (status, wealth, power), quality takes on more importance. A dozen illegitmate sons raised in poverty by single mothers are no guarantee of grandkids. But a pair of sons raised in your own well-to-do houshold and bequathed your name, status and wealth have an excellent chance of injecting your genetic legacy into the next generation of fertile, healthy wombs. Plus, a King with 10 recognized sons by a half dozen different wives has a good chance of seeing his kingdom and his genetic line wiped out via a prolonged civil war when he fades away.

    So the more successful a man is, the more important a stable family becomes to his genetic legacy. A faithful wife is a key element in a stable family, and the more able to control her own urges, the better the chance a woman will remain faithful. You can hardly be an Alpha without being in contact with other alphas, so your wife will be exposed to other desirable men. If she was a slut when she married you, she’ll cheat with one of your associates.

    Which makes for all sorts of unhappiness.

    Like


    • But it’s only been recent that a successful man hasn’t been able to have his cake and eat it too. Stable family + a bastard litter. Now he get’s the Tiger Woods treatment… from men as well as women.

      Like


    • The biggest weakness of whites is that they are unwilling or unable to limit their females’ exposure to other males. Most of our women are able to become flirty social butterflies because we let them, even the most conservative white men don’t have a problem letting their wife alone with male strangers. And that makes our women particularly untrustworthy.
      It explains why feminism is hugely successful among whites, and it explains why we will go extinct before other races.

      Men from other races see us as borderline cuckold fetishists, and rightly so.

      Like


      • And when the few white men left who won’t kowtow to PC attempt to set limits, well… we’re just small-dicked haters.

        And that coming from our own “bros”… go figure.

        Like


      • +1

        Like


      • “Men from other races see us as borderline cuckold fetishists, and rightly so.”

        I think you’re on to something there.

        90% of white countries, which are run by white men, have imported black men into their countries.

        Like


      • Men from other races see us as borderline cuckold fetishists, and rightly so.

        This reminds me of the white female judge in Canada who along with her white husband wanted to be sexually abused by black men while the husband would watch.

        but it gets better( or worse )

        there is a site for exactly that; it is called darkcave.com and the husband and wife had posted pics of the wife to attract black males to abuse her sexually.

        I can not find the original link but this good too,

        http://abovethelaw.com/2010/09/judge-of-the-day-oh-oh-oh-canada/

        Now if there is an internet site for it then there is a demand for it, right?

        How did we end up this fucked up?

        Something is making a lot of white people completely fucked up in the head, liberalism/leftism is part of the explanation but there has got to be something more…

        how can a race be so full of self loathing that it wants to be replaced by other races?

        and want their women fucked by men from other races while they watch so badly that internet are created to meet this demand?

        So much self loathing – a slow motion suicide – is unheard of in human history

        Is it something in our water? too many anti-depressants? something else?

        what the hell is happening to the white race???

        Like


      • Cultural Marxism and incessant conditioning for it in the media has done it. It’s a reaction to WWI and WWII that has gone too far.

        Like


      • There’s also a strong element of romanticized, 19th Century Protestant virtue underlying it too. One could go so far as to say that Marxism is really little more than Evangelical Christianity reinterpreted as Positivism. In any event, when you’re in the business of prescribing public virtue and making yourselves the arbiters of virtue, its an easy transition. Melville mocks this mentality with eloquence and prose in Moby Dick when he goes on about the “good people of Nantuckett” who knew they had found the secret to Utopia by mandating virtuous behavior. In Scandinavia its secularized Calvinism that has been converted to Marxist zeal. In Canada, I think wanting to be the Un-America and seeking tighter bonds to Europe and European values and forms of Government plays a big role. Thank God for the Mid Western Provinces in terms of shifting the political balance of power.

        Like


      • It was done on purpose for a long time. White race is sabotaged from within by people who pretend to be white but are not identifying among themselves as whites. Wolves pretending to be sheep are fooling our sheeples.
        Most people think that things are happening spontaneously, but they are not. Even this blog is part of….
        Just look at who controls the money, schools, media, politicians, history, internet etc.

        Like


  29. “They trade in their 5’6” 25 year old brunette model with a great career and biting sense of humor for a 6’1” 23 year old blond with a tighter ass and bigger breasts and more willingness to give head and swoon at their advances.”

    Yes, we’re all looking for women with a “great career.”

    Like


    • And, even more coveted, that ‘biting sense of humor’. 🙄

      Like


      • When I read that post, I completely missed the part about career and sense of humor, very much like I would have if the brunette and blond were standing before me in person. I find it interesting that my brain disregarded it like it would a double THE in a sentence. Filters out the fluff and superfluous info.

        Like


      • And yes, give me a woman who is 6’1″.

        Like


    • lmao. Women are so stupid. They think that men want what they want. Projection.

      Once upon a time, women took young bitches under their wing and taught them what men liked. Then feminism came along and completely lied to them.

      And women, however impossibly, became more stupid than before.

      Like


  30. Man, another study telling women that feminazi bullshit about sleeping around to find happiness…is bullshit.

    Like


  31. Flaw in this study, along with all the OTHER studies daily mail puts up, and Chateau touched on this:

    CORRELATION DOES NOT IMPLY CAUSATION.

    It’s the first thing they teach statistics/psychology students, and it’s a damn shame these news sites don’t understand it.

    Just because couples who wait report being happier in the long term, doesn’t mean waiting in and of itself was the CAUSE for this happiness.

    I for one am disgusted by this pseudoscience.

    Like


    • Yeah, but people often misinterpret “Correlation does not imply causation” to mean “correlation can not ever mean causation”. A truer saying is “Correlation does not imply causation, but its a pretty strong fucking hint”.

      Thats why the interpretation is important. But I generally agree that I’m not seeing the causal link in this particular study

      Like


    • BINGO. A sane commenter.

      Thank you.

      Like


  32. i was not prepared for that goatse

    Like


  33. Read the ENTIRE article fellas, it’s gold if you read “between the lines”

    http://voices.yahoo.com/the-dating-games-we-play-dont-hate-game-hate-the-464616.html

    Like


    • I’d rather jump to conclusions based on incomplete information.

      Like


    • This article is garbage, I took the bullet for you all. Here is Fearless’ summary of this verbal diarrhea.

      “Ari totally fit the profile of an arrogant, conceited, self important asshole. This is a major turn on for me”.- Really, who would have known?

      “Ari was very handsome-tall, masculine, broad shoulders with a large, stocky build. He had a disarming smile and fast charm and wit. He walked with a confident swagger and spoke with purpose. When Ari talked, people listened.”- Chatty cunt falls for aloof asshole, surprise surprise.

      Then she spouts this gem “Extreme confidence is almost always an indication of extreme insecurity”.

      “Women, however, have some ingrained emotional need to fix the proverbial fixer upper man,” and take the asshole out of the asshole guy. We crave the diamond in the rough, we search high and low for the prince trapped in the frog, and the gentleman trapped in the body of an Armani suited “cocksucker.”- run hamster run

      “I was irritated to discover he had a problem with talking over me. I’d be mid-sentence and he’d start a new train of thought, negating and disregarding what I had to say. Now, I was crushing hard on Ari especially since he had just pegged the “control freak” in me, so this was not cause for anger, it was like he was taking over and I was slightly turned on while being irritated.” -lol what, I need to read those first couple sentences again.

      Finally after withholding the snatch for months on end she is surprised when he pulls a smoking hot blonde. She pined and rationalizes, probablt adopted some cats. The end.

      Like


    • too fucking long, but I skimmed through it anyway
      She hates assholes but assholes are the only ones who give her gina tingles. A co-worker asshole with a shitty game attracted her nonetheless but soon chose another babe because he didn’t want an office relationship.
      He’s a dark triad with beta tendencies. He apparently only knows how to get into relationships, and lacks game to manage flings and fuck buddies. But his assholery made a strong impression on her and she felt shattered when he started fucking another woman.

      Bottomline is what we already knew: be an unrepentant asshole or you will never get pussy. Never!

      Like


    • tl;dr translation:

      Like


  34. “Happiness is not love, and it’s not sexual attraction. Love is passion. Happiness is contentment. Love is volatility. Happiness is calm acceptance, even noble resignation. Love is dizzying crescendos. Happiness is rhythmic tempo. Love is hope. Happiness is the relinquishment of hope.”

    Happiness is resignation and relinquishment of hope?! Are you sure? I thought happiness is something positive.

    “The committed beta provider that female-compelled (and it’s rarely male-compelled) abstinence selects for comes at the cost of losing the sexy alpha cad that female-compelled abstinence selects against.”

    You can’t make a guy fall in love with you by giving him sex … so you’re not really “losing” him if you don’t sleep with him.

    “Even the women who say they want to wait longer than convention would react with disbelief if a man told them he would be willing to wait six months before having sex. It’s that weird.”

    Depends on why a guy wants to wait. Maybe he’s some loser who believes he can convince girls into sex by “respecting” them. More likely, he has high standards, is hard to get (which is very attractive) and is looking for a LTR/wife.

    “You’d be a fool to avoid the bedroom for very long, when there is a good chance some other man will distract your girl’s attention during her prolonged bout of purity. And an even better chance you’ll accidentally say or do something during the dry months of your courtship that extinguishes the spark of her attraction for you.”

    It’s risky to wait for women, too. In a few months, guys can find out that you are actually old, boring, slightly stupid and that you look good only with make up on your face. So you’re not worth the wait because they can get someone younger and prettier who’s even interested into sleeping with them …

    Like


  35. I second what Adam said, there is a huge difference between a girl who wants to wait because she’s a virgin, and a girl who wants to wait because you’re not attracting her as much as the guys she slept with did. Totally different situations, stupid to try to make a generalization that covers both.

    Like


  36. It’s a hell of a lot easier to wait if you have some other hot girlfriends in rotation to take the pressure off the balls. This is one time it isn’t a good idea to let her know (or hint) that you’ve got a rotation going on the side, though, if she really is a good long term prospect.

    But 6 months?

    Like


  37. Your article changed my life Chateau. I used to dream of finding a man of a good soul to fall in love with, untill I learned the reality that men only fall in love with asses. Since I haven’t seen you in person Chateau, I don’t know your SMV. But I think you just pumped yourself to a 9 on my scale ( I take intelligence into consideration). Sending some love to you ♥

    Like


    • You mean you’re sending some love to his fame.

      Like


    • untill I learned the reality that men only fall in love with asses.

      If you’re referring to female behinds, then sure, that’s part of it.
      If you mean jackasses, then you’re projecting like women do. WOMEN fall for jackasses.

      Like


    • seaswan, don’t be so mean with my baby. I’m sure you knew it before that men like attractive asses – it’s just that people are usually smart/humble enough to not mention this in front of anyone. Keep hoping that you’ll find a man with a good soul but at the same time exercise regularly to make him happy with your round ass 🙂

      Sending love to you too ♥,

      from Maya and Heartiste♥♥

      Like


      • Thank you Maya. I do have a nice round ass. But no ass is enough for Alpha, there is always fresh asses. I understand the reality, I just wish if anybody could still fall in love with the soul anymore.
        ♥ and good luck to everybody who reads Chateau.

        Like


  38. Abstinance makes you work. Rebellious Obstinance makes her work.

    The Abstiance Program is the method de rigueur for the Feminist Churches Of America.

    Like


  39. “Girl works overtime to say good things about her degenerate neo-nazi boyfriend. Hamster has heart attack. bit.ly/QUsWoK”

    Video removed by user.

    Like


  40. For a guy. Pure “happiness” would be encountering the sight of 5 or 6 13 year old virgins trussed up, and bent over, and tied down across a stone fence in a small, out the way village somewhere in the English mid-lands – in mid summer, and when the rain was the warm and friendly. (Ha Ha) And they are all waiting eagerally juist for him. Whatever….
    A friend of mine died in a racing accident last week. There is no easy way out.

    Like


  41. There is no easy way out. But the posessiom or the desire to posssess all sorts of deadly firearms is what i would focus on if I wanted to avoid being turned into -small slice by slice -making -like some kind of pet food/project of pet food makimg unbelievaly amouts of stupid smoke/

    Like


  42. You aren’t as pithy here as normal, at least in the past. Yes, if a woman waits longer to have sex, it guarantees she is not with an alpha who will hurt her. She’s with a (greater) beta whom she feels some attraction for.

    There’s one category missing here though: relationships that were never consummated at all. For every date that goes by without sex (with an American woman), the chance that there will be no relationship at all goes up exponentially. As the guys at the RooshVForum are saying, in many or most cases these days, it’s first date sex or go home.

    So, a woman who waits threatens to end the relationship before it began, because she will lose desire for him. And that’s not good for anyone.

    Like


  43. My only rule of dating is if I’m having a good time at the date.

    If a girl is pleasing and interesting enough, sex can wait. Else she better get to work. The problem is finding a girl who is good for anything else than sex in today’s climate.

    Its always a bad idea to put up with an annoying girl expecting sex on a future date. Its never worth it.

    Consider every date to be the last date and you won’t go wrong.

    Like


  44. Coming from a woman who waited, desire won’t just disappear after the first date if she’s keen already. There’s kissing which helps with desiring.

    Like


  45. For me, a relationship doesn’t take off if we don’t have sex on the first date or if she, after a casual date for coffee or something, initiates further contact it we have sex on the second date. I don’t wait. All my relationships, both short term and longer term, during the last ten years or so have all started with sex on the first date. No date on which we didn’t have sex on the first date led any further than that first date.

    Like


  46. What if she let’s you eat her out on the first date, but no sex or blowjob?

    Like


    • ‘Eating her out’ is sex, so why should she stop there? Never happened to me and can’t see why it should. That seems to be more of an american thing rather than european, the “we didn’t have sex, i just blew him” -thing. I remember beeing really amazed that pres Clinton even tried that one.

      Like


  47. I disagree about the idea of passion cooling after 8 years.It hasn’t in my marriage. It certainly doesn’t have to. One must make it a priority as a man and lead the woman in that direction.

    Like


    • Tyrone, thanks for this post. Question, is the passion the same intensity like it was in the beginning? If its too personal you don’t have to answer, do you still have sex the same amount of times like in the beginning?

      Like


  48. Don’t know about others, but my best relationships have taken a while to get to sex. I never saw a problem there, as I wasn’t monogamous at the time, and was still seeing other women. Couldn’t tell you why, but girls who put out immediately don’t stick around longer than a few weeks, or a few months as fuckbuddies. Almost all my LTRs, and all of them after the age of 25, have been with women I had to work on for a bit. Maybe it’s peace of mind for me, maybe it’s linked personality traits, but that’s what works for me.

    Like


  49. Was that choice of picture really necessary?

    Like


  50. There is a certain danger with girls who place a very high value on their virginity…

    This also ties into the recent “uncontrollable female sexuality” post.

    I was raised Catholic and attended Catholic schooling my entire life. Neither my family nor my particular schools were especially strict, but sexual morality was given special attention nonetheless.

    I experienced from a very early age what could be considered thoughts about sex (of course I at first didn’t exactly know what sex entailed, but the general desire was there nonetheless). I do indeed have ring fingers that are about a quarter inch longer than my index fingers. In another time and society, I would have probably happily consented to losing my virginity around the age of 13 or so.

    However, Catholic morality was also a strong force in my mind at that time. Never in my life had I felt the presence of God, but I did especially imbibe the teachings regarding sexuality and had a strong interest in Catholic mysticism (I studied intensely the lives of saints like St. Faustina, the visions at Fatima, etc.) Around the ages of 13 and 14 (when my sex drive was becoming even stronger) I even had serious plans to become a nun. I don’t think it was a coincidence that my desire to become a nun coincided with that emerging sex drive. While some people would have channelled that energy into actually having sex, I think I was subconsciously trying to channel it into a spiritual awakening. (In addition, I also strongly believe that my high sex drive [then and now] led to my intellectual development. I don’t think I understand exactly how that connection works, but I do in general hold men to be the more creative and intellectually developed sex because of sex constantly being on the mind.)

    Of course, this channelling of sex into religion produced a huge amount of frustration for me. A spritual awakening was nowhere to be found, so I abandoned my plans for the convent. However, the system of morals could not so easily be shook. I still vowed to save my virginity until marriage.

    I did then lose my virginity at the age of 17 to a guy that I loved, but instead of feeling an intense bond to him, all I felt was guilt about having broken a promise to myself. I then went on to have sex with several guys in a very short amount of time. I had felt a sense of it being “all or nothing.” Since I had blown saving my virginity for marriage, I felt that it didn’t matter if I had sex with several more people. I had no conception of the “happy medium” – that it didn’t matter so much if you lost your virginity before marriage, but that you shouldn’t go sleeping around a lot either. Additionaly, even though I wanted to, I couldn’t enjoy sex with those guys because of my feelings of guilt. This added to my despair – not only did I not have my virginity anymore, but I couldn’t enjoy sex even though it was what I had been thinking about for a very long time. I never came close to orgasming.

    Several years later I met my now husband. While I couldn’t give him my virginity, he was the first one with whom I orgasmed. (I think this was the “spiritual fulfillment” I had been looking for all those years! I literally cried the first time it happened.) Years of guilt over my sex drive and frustration with not feeling “fulfilled” began to not hold so much sway over me. However, while I have indeed rejected almost all aspects of Catholicism, I feel that I will never fully “recover” from my upbringing. That nagging sense of guilt and the feeling of having betrayed the community of people I was raised with will probably never leave me.

    The point of me relating this personal story is to show that you may not be as satisfied with a virgin as you’d ideally like to be. Sure, some may gift you with their undying devotion, but much depends on their particular upbringing and the nature of the girl’s repressed sex drive. There is a chance that the girl may go “buck wild” for a period of time, like I did. Today’s world complicates the former simplicity of notions regarding virginity and “waiting.”

    (Kind of off topic): I notice that there seems to be a particular kind of breed of people, one of which I think I fall into. The breed has a high creative energy (and usually a concurrent high sexual energy), seeks spiritual fulfillment (but fails), has intense general feelings of guilt (possibly as a result of this spiritual failure), and may come across as unusual either through charismatic and/or eccentric behavior. Tom Cruise is a good example of such a person. He once wanted to become a Catholic priest, failed at that, and is still seeking some sort of spiritual fulfillment through Scientology. I can only assume about his general feeling of guilt, but I posit that it is there. He is surely both charismatic and eccentric. Many of the mystic saints possibly fall into this category as well.

    Like


    • Sluts should not be allowed to comment on this blog.

      Like


      • She’s not a slut. Shame we don’t have the same word for men who sleep around.

        Like


      • Yes she is. Sleeping around and then selling the used up carcass at full price to a beta is called settling down after slutting it up.

        Males who do the same are called studs, don juans, alphas…

        Reconcile with double standards or live the rest of your life clueless and frustrated.

        Like


      • Well, you have to give a little bit of credit to the women that post on this blog. I don’t know about the other women who post, but I do feel bad when people respond viciously to things that I post (especially truly personal things from my life). I don’t have a thick skin. But I do know that it comes with posting here, so I’m not really complaining. I’d rather feel bad after posting in an overall truthful blog than feel great after posting in a bullshit PC blog.

        I do agree that I slept around too much after losing my virginity, but there’s no changing that now. Not trying to defend myself, but I should re-emphasize that it happened immediately after losing my virginity within a specific context and that I was mostly in monogamous relationships after 17. The main point of my post stands regardless of whether or not I was/am a slut; aiming to date/marry virgins requires that you be aware of certain things that may come along with that loss of virginity.

        Like


      • Well, Kay, as you’re now married, in regarding the guilt, there’s always confession to a priest. But go to an old-style trad. The new kind are worthless.

        Like


      • Your warning come with a giant asterisk.

        You got fucked in high school… at the same age as girls who aren’t catholic. Your youth and your boyfriends crappy bedroom skills was as much an issue in how you felt about your loss of Virginity as anything.

        Most Catholic girls wait longer than you did and thus can handle it better. I popped 3 religious (defined as going to church on Sunday) girls while in college. None them were a problem to deal with during or afterwards.

        Like


      • Haha, evilalpha, evangelical / fundie girls are a whole different breed.

        There’s a joke my dad told me once. Guy was traveling around and stopped in a Presbyterian town. He met a girl in his hotel, ran game on her, and took her upstairs, and they got ready to fuck. While he was undressing, he whistled merrily. The girl suddenly put her clothes back on, he asked what was going on, and she said, “I can’t fuck a man who whistles on a Sunday.”

        Like


      • You are right, evilalpha. I do think being too young (mentally) was a big part of my dissatisfaction, along with the whole virginity thing. I don’t think the bedroom skills were necessarily lacking in the guys though.

        Like


      • Kay,

        You didn’t orgasm until you me your husband. Trust me when I say that those other guys didn’t know what they were doing.

        Like


      • You overcompensating dipshits make me laugh. Kay is nothing other than the “used up carcass” you insist women have the liberty to become, looking you in the eye.

        When she describes the reality of her condition in personal terms — what you have wrought, what you want all young women who follow her to emulate — you flip out about how unclean she is.

        Pick one side or the other. Will your own daughters be virgins or whores? Stop complaining about the moral turpitude essential to the philosophy you profess. Such an embarrassingly unconscious inconsistency should give you pause from making any declarative statement about any topic ever.

        Matt

        Like


      • Iron in these words… may they serve to steel a few souls.

        Like


      • The Navy surely wants SEALS, yet they make it tough as hell to be one. You see inconsistency where there is none.

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      • As much as I enjoy your posts, Matthew King, and as much as you shaped and strenghtened my conservative worldview, you too have your ignoramus dipshit moments.

        I have little patience for women who drank the feminist kool-aid, wasted their salad years, went against their instincts, and in this case, shat all over the religion that both you and the perpetrator apparently share.

        God may be forgiving, but I’m not. Men don’t and shouldn’t forgive a sordid female past. Your merciful holier-than-thou approach serves the feminist imperative more than the male renaissance that you apparently strive for.

        [heartiste: “useful tools”, is what Lenin would have called them, if he were a slutty feminist.]

        Like


      • Men don’t and shouldn’t forgive a sordid female past. Your merciful holier-than-thou approach serves the feminist imperative more than the male renaissance that you apparently strive for.

        Did you hear that sonic boom? That was this latest King A post going over your head.

        He’s not saying that men should forgive sluts…

        He’s saying men that fancy themselves gamesters should take a hard look at themselves and the path they pursue…

        For, as he rightly points out, the result of that lifestyle/philosophy for non-LTR seeking men is all-too-often the ‘used up carcass’ that is Kay… and which you would-be PUAs yourselves decry.

        And whether we, as men, like it or not, said carcass does, at least in part, get laid on our karmic doorstep.

        Like


      • Greg,

        Unlike King A, I don’t believe there’s a way out of decadence. I’m just joining the orgy because nothing seems to be able to stop it.

        Even if I agree that caddish behavior is undesirable in a civilized society, I believe it’s perfectly justified when widespread sluttery has consumed the pillars of said civilization.

        There’s a difference of degree between the consequences of each gender’s transgressions. Arguing with King A about it is like arguing with a feminist about sex differences. Absolutely useless.

        Again with all due respect to King A’s contribution.

        Like


      • A fair point, Olympics… but I must say:

        Arguing with King A about it is like arguing with a feminist about sex differences. Absolutely useless.

        Actually, attempting to argue with King A (leastwise, on matters spiritual related to our meat existence) is like bringing a pea-shooter to a bazooka fight.

        Like


      • “is like bringing a pea-shooter”

        Can’t we at least call it a sword?

        Like


      • A Claymore it is. 😉

        Like


      • Olympius wrote:

        Men don’t and shouldn’t forgive a sordid female past. Your merciful holier-than-thou approach serves the feminist imperative more than the male renaissance that you apparently strive for.

        Well, first of all, it’s not your or my business to forgive Kay. We weren’t the wronged party. Second, you don’t seem to have a proper grasp on forgiveness.

        Forgiveness doesn’t mean retroactively justifying her bad choices, much less acting as if they didn’t happen, much less pretending they haven’t permanently changed her. Wounds heal but leave scars. Her 30+ years and 30+ cocks are their own silent punishment. She doesn’t know what she missed, she no longer has the experience of a vagina that hasn’t been lacquered with 31 Baskin-Robbins flavors of strange spunk. Sex is like hugging to her, it has been drained of its momentousness, and it is impossible for her to present her body as a singular offering of loyalty, much less definitively connect the sublimity of the act to the creation of her children. And she is facing the pre-death experience of The Wall, a heavy dose of despairing mortality forty years early, the severe drop off that keeps dropping for decades till the reaper arrives in mercy.

        You want to pile on her miseries. Yeah, as a defensive mechanism she defies the full extent of the horror that she has become. The error you make is the same one she did as a kid, to imagine her life and personality and destiny can be the same no matter how many cocks she stuffs up into her. You think she got away with something. You think she requires more consciousness of her crimes, more punishment for her behavior than being an old mom stripped of all her real powers in this world.

        I pity her. So? Does that make me soft on slutishness? A cryptofeminist and “useful idiot”? Hardly. I am the one recognizing the full scope of her wasted life. I am the one informing her that a million just-so platitudes and rationalizations will not make her whole again. She can’t even acknowledge that she’s broken. Ailing but doesn’t know it, and preemptively rejecting the cure. That is a pitiable creature. And you have to rub it in that she is incurable? A terminal slut? What’s done is done and can’t be undone? Tell her something she doesn’t already feel in her bones.

        Except, the good news is there is a cure. While she can’t reverse the deterioration, she can halt it. The cancer might have taken her breasts and her uterus, but it doesn’t have to take her life. I advocate remission, not vindictive snark (ha ha! you got lung cancer! shouldn’t’ve smoked!), and certainly not pretending she’s disease free.

        Does she deserve a doting beta who tolerates the fairy-tale propaganda that rationalizes her whorish 20s as if they didn’t damn her to an early, walking death? Of course not. If I could talk to her chump of a husband, I would have different things to say to him. But he is not here, and I am talking to her. Her despair is a given, automatic and still subtle enough for her to deny it.

        Some of you want to stuff her further down into the abyss of her own devising. Some of us want her to live again. Why? Because there is no testimony like a survivor’s. It is not enough that she lives on in ignorance of what she has done. No, a complete recovery makes her a living cautionary tale, one more felon with the moral authority to scare impressionable young girls straight with a highly believable, “Don’t be like me.”

        This is useful idiocy? Useful to feminism how? The bitches who got away with it, who retired from the carousel and took advantage of a chump — it’s not my job to avenge chumps on behalf of my sex. In fact, I don’t give a fuck about the unreformed cougars who bind themselves to boring beta sods. Their life already is hell-before-death, whatever they want to call it.

        No, I am interested in their daughters, or their daughters’ daughters, who haven’t frittered away their only viable asset, who still have a chance to live a feminine life, who can see what their moms have become. Who still have the possibility to live like women. They will know that wounds can heal, sure, but by the example of their mothers they will also see that some blows can be fatal, and it is best to avoid the behaviors that guarantee injury and death. Scars are better than dying, but they still aren’t pretty.

        Matt

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      • Fair enough, King, but

        “We weren’t the wronged party.”

        Sure we were. i served during the two last american wars and I watched fine men die fighting for this country.
        And they died for what? What were we fighting for? Betas and whores back home, that’s what. A Babylon falling apart mainly because of the deeds of our females and their male enablers.

        I feel wronged, as should you. A man who doesn’t feel jealous or wronged watching his peoples’ women whoring themselves out doesn’t qualify as a patriot.
        Most of the foreigners that I’ve ever known instinctually know this. Another truth buried under pretty lies.

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      • The way our culture disrespects the warrior’s sacrifice is very different than how improperly informed little girls and their beta-cuckold enablers disrespect men in general. I don’t blame the women. That would require me to respect them as volitional creatures, which, under the tyranny of hypergamy and hormone, they are not. Men dropped the ball by codifying women’s emotionalism and putting them in charge.

        At any rate, my hand is on the plow and I won’t look back. I am wholly uninterested in the blame game. All that matters is how we get the culture back to tolerable conditions, where your sacrifice is rightly honored (rather than sentimentally waved at), and where our daughters are not destined to strumpetry.

        I do suggest we hold women accountable for their sluttishness, and I do suggest we require beta bitchboys to alpha up (I’d say “man up” if this community hadn’t perversely redefined that once useful phrase to denote its opposite). But in the spirit of revanchism or revenge? That makes for a short incident that ultimately changes nothing, rather than the revolution that is required.

        So I am with you, and your war-cry for justice. But vengeance is a hothead’s poor imitation of justice. Grievances must be channeled into smart and deliberate, concerted action, not random catharsis on targets of opportunity.

        The time is out of joint—O cursed spite that ever we were born to set it right.

        Matt

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      • You’re probably right again, evilalpha. I thought for the longest time that there must have been something wrong with me, that I physically couldn’t orgasm. I think it was was a combination of both things….I was very stressed (which I don’t think is conducive to women orgasming), and the guys (it was 4 guys in the span of about 3 months after I had lost my virginity) were not terrible, but they came very quickly and didn’t even give me a chance to get anywhere, lol. I remember all of them just being extremely excited at the fact that they were with a 17 year old blond American (they were all Israeli [the 4 subsequent guys], about 24 or 25 years old.)

        The thing that was even more disappointing was that I was then in a relationship with a guy from 17-20, and never orgasmed with him. Looking back on it, that was really inexcusable for him. He was much more sexually experienced than me (while I had had sex with 5 different people by that time, I had only had sex maybe on 8 occasions total). I told him that I didn’t think I could physically orgasm, that he shouldn’t feel bad if he couldn’t make me either. He then didn’t worry about it for 3 years. He should have known better than to take my word for it. He had several strong alpha characteristics to begin with, but once we got into an established relationship he completely changed and became a simpering beta to the extreme (didn’t understand the change then, but I certainly do now).

        Like


      • Poor girl.

        Virgins deserve a man’s A game, but unfortunately you got stuck by some real lame asses. And no you didn’t have a broken vagina. Contrary to popular myth… it’s maidens, not sluts that are the most sexually responsive girls out there…Let me explain

        To the inexperienced girl everything is extra exciting. Sluts require more novelty to get amped. They don’t even hear the zipper any more. It’s really easy for a guy to use a virgin’s sensitivity to the advantage of you both.

        And virgins are submissive so you never have too many cooks in the kitchen. This dynamic makes for a better romp. A slut might try to stick her finger up your ass, kiss you with a mouth full of your own semen or forget that their boyfriend is about to walk in on the two of you. A virgin will not, and this allows a guy to really let his guard down and focus all his attention on leading, pleasing and being pleased.

        And finally there’s motivational purity. Virgins are fully invested in the sex … she is not fucking because she’s bored, to make her boyfriend jealous, because she feels fat, or to piss off daddy.

        Like


      • Slut!

        Hey slut! Do you have a daddy? Is he proud of you?

        Post a picture of your father so that all of us can pay him a beer.

        Like


      • The way you declare your opinion makes me wonder whether you are a don juan…….

        Not that I want to check you out in real life after knowing your online personality, dude. Just sayin’.

        Like


      • Lothario, rake, philanderer, profligate, whoremonger… I bet I can find more if I felt like googling a thesaurus.

        And yes, in company that matters, these words damage a man’s standing.

        Like


      • Darn, and I was shooting for “lothario.” Curse you, society!

        Like


      • You’ll have to settle for “screaming Viking”.

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      • Not true enough for the current zeitgeist.
        But you have a point.

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      • I do see it as somewhat of a weakness in a man.

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      • I’m not sure ‘weakness’ is the right word… often it stems from misdirected strengths… a predatory character flaw might be more apt.

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      • No it’s a shame you don’t take your androgynous bullshit to a feminist site, where that crap is welcome.

        Like


    • Holy fuck , shut up already. You bitches should go over to HUS and stay there. Another perfectly good conversation ruined. Also guys you can’t be sure that these are actually women commenting, probably some fucking weirdos in their mommys basement with their cocks out. Shudder

      Like


      • I would think that the way I write comes across as “womanish” and personal in a way that would be extremely difficult for a man to imitate.

        You’ll just have to trust that I’m a woman writing truthfully, obviously.

        Like


    • Hey, Kay the stray. Sorry to hear about the dire state of your soul and your “better had he not been born” rejection of the truth. Frowny faces 😦 😦 😦

      Years of guilt over my sex drive and frustration with not feeling “fulfilled” began to not hold so much sway over me. However, while I have indeed rejected almost all aspects of Catholicism, I feel that I will never fully “recover” from my upbringing. That nagging sense of guilt and the feeling of having betrayed the community of people I was raised with will probably never leave me.

      Have you considered that the “nagging sense of guilt” and “betray[al]” that “will never leave you” might be connected to the fact that you sought the “feeling” of “fulfill[ment]” in the very base carnality that, surprise surprise, you were taught could not fulfill you, and indeed still has failed to fulfill you after a decade of pursuing it?

      And yet you seek to “‘recover’ from [your] upbringing,” the fleeing from which at least coincides with your present dissatisfaction, a dissatisfaction derived by arrogant teenage self-absorption and not reconsidered since.

      You are an adult now. Think like one and act like one. There is a theology and an ecstasy that fits better with your longing than inchoate conclusions derived in childhood.

      Every one who drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst…

      Do you recall that passage? Did you ever run across it in your prayerful meditations on whether to become a nun — before your similarities to Tom Cruise brought your quest for spiritual definition to an end?

      How does the Woman at the Well continue, do you remember? It was all so long ago.

      The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, that I may not thirst, nor come here to draw.”

      Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.”

      The woman answered him, “I have no husband.”

      Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and he whom you now have is not your husband; this you said truly.”

      You have had five, ten, many husbands. You searched for “spiritual fulfillment” in the prick that fit your Cinderella slipper just right to give you an O. Is that what gives you meaning to your life, what you were put on this earth for? To finally get that petite mort the frigid little Catholic school girl so deserved, no matter how many consecutive cocks she had to test drive? Surely a 30-year-old has greater aspirations than this.

      You’re right back at the well, day after day, still thirsty, still rejecting what will quench and absolve you from betrayal quicker than the father of the prodigal son. No, like a drunk you likely will have to hit bottom before reconsidering your overinvestment in fleeting and slowly diminishing sensations, rather than the ecstasy that keeps building upon itself despite your age and enervation, a promise from your maker which you preposterously are determined to “recover from.” I pray that you recognize the bottom when it arrives. It is a dark night of the soul, a feeling of radical abandonment, when the things you were sure about cease making any sense whatever. It comes for all of us, now or at the hour of our death.

      :(:(:(

      Matt

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      • Zzzzzzz….

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      • “Zzzzzz” is proof of sloth, dullard. Mark 13:35-37.

        Any rate, why would you imagine I invited your brand of witlessness into my conversation? Did I authorize you to speak? Next time you hover over “reply” next to my name, tremble appropriately according to your low station.

        If I bothered to notice you, child, much less address you, I would have told you to run along and tidy up last night’s nocturnal emission. I wouldn’t have our advanced discussion taking place alongside your fantasies of being a “lothario” disturb such wonderful wet dreams.

        Just by the name TURBO I can tell how relaxed and put-together you are. Is it too late to entice so subtle a mind and manly a man into the conversation?

        Like


      • You get wise… you get to church.

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      • You’re much better at stuff like this…

        Good comment.

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      • Perhaps I worded the “spiritual fulfillment through orgasm” thought poorly – the main point is that my first orgasm was a very moving experience because it came completely unexpectedly. I didn’t mean to say that I am “spiritually fulfilled” just because I can orgasm easily now.

        You’ll have to take my word for it, but I turned 24 a few months ago. Don’t know if that changes your analysis at all.

        Like


      • Yes, it changes a lot. It means you have a year or so to get your shit together before your youthful errors begin hardening into concrete. Twenty-four is still late in the game, the general cut-off is mid-20s, around 25 or so, the “quarter life,” when the personality you have developed, the modes and mores of early adulthood, become the template you will carry for the rest of your life, more or less. Especially in women, who undergo the beginning of their physical decline around the same time.

        The orgasm was spiritual fulfillment. All the more so for its unexpected quality. It led you to marriage, at least in part. And you explicitly connected it to “guilt over [your] sex drive,” which you blamed on the spiritual misdirection of Catholicism.

        The broader point was: it doesn’t matter if it’s orgasms, or oreos, or Oprah, or Old Milwaukee. If you don’t seek spiritual fulfillment consciously and deliberately, you will unconsciously seek it in the things that only make you thirstier. Like thinking salt water can quench.

        You’re younger than I thought, and that is cause for hope. Don’t squander it. Especially if you have or are about to have kids. The idea that going “buck wild” is an innocuous side effect of one’s personality will enable the sad, avoidable abuse of your daughters.

        Matt

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      • Great lecture King. No sarcasm intended. You are really preaching for this slut’s soul. If she still has any vestige of one.

        Like


    • Too late now, but you should have gotten married early. Since you seem a bit unworldly, the smart way would have been to ask your parents to help you out.

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      • I got married at 23 (about a year ago), which seems to be a bit young for women today. I think it is a good age though. Not too young (would have been complete disaster had I gotten married when I was 17-20), but not too old since I am still flexible in my ways and can be married for a few years without having to immediately consider having children (like women do at 30 or so).

        Like


      • “Not too young (would have been complete disaster had I gotten married when I was 17-20)”

        And yet you still seem to regret how things worked out.

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      • I remember you, Kay, and I think you had a valuable perspective to offer. You are not telling your story out of despair, in my reading of it. You are sharing your experience for other women reading so they won’t make the same mistake. Figuring you had already given your virginity, you didn’t think the number mattered after that point. I would wager MOST women think this way. I could see how it would be very easy to think that, especially with pressure from friends, lack of men willing to commit, society’s portrayal of sex, etc. Yet some men will refuse to sleep with a woman with a low number. There does not seem to be any rhyme or reason to any of this at times. Its a muddle. I believe you are right that although a woman’s virginity may be gone, a woman can still be an orgasm virgin. (This is possibly why women will say an encounter doesn’t “count”/wasn’t real.) The only guy to give you one would hopefully see it as a mutual gift to be enjoyed and be the last person you were ever with. I was very interested in your combination of religious and sexual fervor. I’d be curious on more thoughts you have regarding that should you wish to share in the futuer.

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      • Incidentally, what prompted me to comment wasn’t her despair per se. That is par for the course in today’s girl.

        I was curious about her gratuitous rejection of Catholicism despite (or maybe because of) her intense connection with faith that once, not so long ago, gave her an impulse to seek the religious life. I would like to hear more about her switch, particularly since when she has children and hits thirty or so, it is bound to flare up again. Youthful vigor doesn’t overcome mistakes so much as it punts them down the field, waiting for her to mature into a better understanding of what she has done.

        Matt

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      • Word. She may end up with a five year old who insists God is a woman who wears gray pants and a white shirt, which is why we have become engaged in classes tout suite.

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  51. I believe the answer to this study’s findings lie in class and culture. First of all, class isn’t the same thing as money. There are a lot of rich rednecks and working people who exhibit the behaviors of “cultured” people. So with that in mind, those of the higher class tend to exhibit more successful behaviors that lead to happier lives. They are more likely to delay gratification, to avoid divorce and chemical additiction, to stay gainfully employed, to save money for hobbies, vacations, and other nice things that lead to a happier standard of living…

    Of course there are exceptions as there are any time you look at big groups of people. But by and large, men and women that come from stable two-parent households grow up to be responsible, happy people. They are more likely to make reasoned decisions when it comes to sex and marriage, and more likely to be happy as a result.

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  52. You missed the most likely explanation after selection bias: sex initiates and sustains shitty relationships. If you had to go on seven dates before getting sex from a boring broad, you wouldn’t be with her long. But if you fucked her on the first date, your relationship could last considerably longer.

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  53. Man just imagine if you had to go to a car dealership SEVEN TIMES before you could test drive the car you want?

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  54. Lately, i’m starting to see women as boring and useless beyond sex. I think to certain extent, they know this as well, which is why they insist on making us go on a wild goose chase just to get sex.

    And what happens when you finally get it? Low and behold, it makes you realise that it was yet another hole that got filled for a few hours.

    I’ve yet to meet s single girl who doesn’t simply lie on her back and wait for me to put it in. They last for hours, yet we last to the extent of us busting our nut.

    We’re seriously getting the worse end of the deal as men. I think it’s high time all of us realise this and stop chasing women for the sake of sex. It honestly isn’t worth all the game playing. The more we do this, the more spoilt women get by giving them an even greater false sense of illusion.

    Sure i love women, but the end result seriously isn’t worth the chase, unless she is willing to put in some effort.

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    • Steven, except for “I’ve yet to meet s single girl who doesn’t simply lie on her back and wait for me to put it in”, what you describe is the epiphany that i had some 4 years ago or so.

      I’ve denied/blew off some dimes and quite a few 7-9’s because of it and i don’t think its healthy. I started to get into cocaine and drinking quite heavily as a sort of substitute after a night on the town. I’ve always regretted it the next day. But yet, it seems all they’re good for is sex.

      It is what it is i guess.

      Like


      • Find women who can have interesting conversations AND are good in bed/good looking, you will see they are good for more than just sex and you will want to have sex with them more because you will not be disgusted by her mind while you have a hard on for her body/face

        dumb women who talk only about dumb stuff no matter how hot they are or how good they are in bed eventually stop turning me on.

        Like


      • Anyone who’s trying to find interesting conversation with a woman is on a fool’s errand…

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      • Over the course of the past 2 years or so, I can remember precisely 2 women with whom I’ve had interesting (though not always positive) conversations. One of them’s my vet, the other one was a lesbo.

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      • Tip: search for “loves sarcastic banter”.

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  55. […] serial “monogamy” (contradictory when there’s overlap) and nice guys patiently waiting for women to step off the […]

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  56. […] [182 Days Of Blue Balls] […]

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  57. […] Heartiste – 182 Days Of Blue Balls, Women Don’t Handle Rejection Well, Male Choosiness, Female Beauty And Monogamy, Are Messy Girls […]

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