Reader Mailbag: First Things First Edition

Email #1: A confused reader seeks advice on passing a putative shit test from a younger woman.

I have been trying to get this 23 year old and I am 38. I thought I had developed a good rapport w/ her and it seemed I had. I probably still make the mistake of being on the side of too nice. [ed: your gut instinct is usually right] Things were looking pretty good (I thought) and then she said that she had a boy story for me. I said, so tell me. [ed: high risk invitation to get LJBFed] She said it was a long story, and she did not have time, as she was just leaving work. My instinct said, fuck this, then and there. Why say this and then not talk? [ed: because it was a shit test you failed] However, I visited her the next day @ her work. [ed: why did you reward a recalcitrant girl with your company? and go out of your way to do it? you really lowered your value with this move]

Her short was, Her, a 23 yr old college grad found out that college professor in her dept, age 31 that she was recently “dating,” had an older girl over. 23 year old shows up @ his place. Then, later, 31 yr old professor shows up @ her apartment @ 4am and says he cares for/loves her. After telling me this story, I said, I am 38 and know how guys work like the back of my hand and the situation is exactly what it seems. [ed: you’re falling right into her frame. why do you want to be a girl’s romance counselor on how to handle badboys?] I then said, I want to talk to you about a situation too.  So, I said can I get your # and call & talk to you. She said, I am not really comfortable with that and don’ think it would be a good idea. WTF? [ed: wtf? i’ll tell you wtf. she lost whatever interest was previously there.]

I was going to lay my intentions on the line honestly, objectively, but not needy. [ed: laying intentions on the line is beta and needy. ultimatums and heartfelt confessions don’t work on girls you aren’t already fucking] If she wanted to take a go fine, if not fine, I just wanted to tell her b/c life is short and happening now. [ed: girls never just “want you to tell them” your feelings of lust. they want you to flirt with plausible deniability. that is the way of the outcome independent man] I want to retaliate so bad and show her. [ed: ugh. so bad. so beta. she smelled it on you.] I used to get that “floaty and electric static feeling” around her, now that feeling has turned an “irritating white noise like feeling”. [ed: that’s called sexual frustration] Please help me get some face back. [ed: face back for what? for you not eliciting enough desire in her so that she wants to fuck you? i don’t see that she did anything to you that would merit a face-saving plan of attack. your best vengeance is to tighten up your game, meet a new girl, and parade her in front of this girl who rejected you] She can tell me about all about her story, and then is uncomfortable with me calling her. [ed: dude… that’s what desirable chicks DO to hapless betas. only now, in the end, do you understand] WTF? Please advise.

Please read the editorial comments above. You don’t need advice. You need a soul adjustment. Your whole mentality oozes the repellent slurry of the needy beta. I’m not at all surprised she didn’t give you what you wanted.

Look, if you’re 38 and focusing on 23 year olds, you’ll have to do much better than this. Girls expect older men to be wiser in the ways of womanhood. That’s one of the main attractiveness drivers of the older man to younger women. It’s guys like you that really motivate me to put out a book so I don’t have to keep repeating the same axioms and game advice.

***

Email #2 is from a reader who wonders where he stands with a girl giving indicators that she’s open to cheating.

I was hoping you could help me analyze a situation.

I met a girl at a coffee shop today. Objectively she’s about an 8. But I live in Bozeman Montana. The dearth of local talent makes that a 9-10 relative to what else is available.

We chatted for maybe an hour. She was plently flirty, and every time I put a compliance test out there she eagerly responded. For example I’d pause conversation for a minute or two and she’d re-initiate. After a story about back surgery I told her to stand up and turn around so I could see the scar. Followed by pulling down the back of her dress to see all of it. You get the general idea.

But maybe 10 minutes into the convo (before I started getting all this compliance) I was telling a story about when I was stationed in Germany. She told me that her boyfriend was currently stationed at the same base. I wasn’t sure if I believed he existed just yet (he does) but I also wasn’t actively hitting on her, so I took that as a sign to stay indirect.

Being a former military man myself, I’m not about to steal another soldier’s girl. But I also wasn’t about to give up for a boyfriend that may or may not exist in real life. So I kept talking. She never said anything explicitly (nor would I expect her to) but I got the impression that the distance was taking a toll on their relationship and I figured it was gonna end in the next few months.

As I was leaving, I handed her my laptop and told her to add me on Facebook. Admittedly not a good idea if you’re trying for immediate sex… but I can afford to wait a few months for their “relationship” to come to its inevitable implosion.

Here’s where things got really weird. She did add me. Then she told me that I’d find out anyways on her facebook… but she lied about the boyfriend. He’s actually her fiancee but she doesn’t wear a ring because she doesn’t like getting asked about being 19 and engaged.

I laughed, and told her if I was trying to get into her pants I would have stopped talking to her after she mentioned the boyfriend. (thinking this might have been a mistake). However she then gave me a kiss, and went back to her seat as I was leaving.

My read is that she’s willing to cheat on her fiancee (although I’m not), but she wants me to pursue her aggressively to make that happen. I think we’re probably headed for the friend zone and she’s destined for female wingman status.  Is that the same thing you see?

Before attending to this man’s particular game needs, allow me a moment of reflection on the current state of our culture:

It’s a bad sign for civilization when girls start feeling social pressure to hide their engagement rings from fear of being ostracized for getting married too young, or from a hidden desire to cheat on the down low. You could probably track a culture’s ascent and decline by the rate of engagement ring concealment.

All right, back to the business at hand. I think your read is correct, although there is a chance she was just enjoying your illicit flirty attention with no interest beyond that. The Facebook add is interesting. I don’t know too many engaged girls who would risk that kind of exposure by adding a potential lover, unless they didn’t see themselves actually going through with the tryst.

Your disqualification (when you said you wouldn’t continue talking to her after finding out about her BF) was probably neutral in its effect, and maybe even worked in your favor. I wouldn’t make too much out of that. The rest of your game seems pretty tight. Anyhow, this girl sounds like an attention whore. If you pursue aggressively, you have a shot at defiling her more than she’s already defiled herself. But will you be able to sleep at night, knowing you abetted the whoreishness of a girl engaged to a fellow soldier stationed overseas? I don’t ask this question lightly. I’ve been in your situation, and I’ve had a few pangs of guilt. But just a few. And they pass quickly.

***

Email #3 is from reader “Maverick” who wants to know if girls always push for a no-sex date or series of no-sex dates after a one night stand or fling.

Thanks for the awesome site. It has gotten me laid with dozen hotties [ed: not two dozen? i’m losing my touch] and has completely changed my outlook on women (for the better, I hope – or at least for the real). It helped me choose the bachelor life and for the past 3 years have been the happiest for me. [ed: confirmed bachelors have never been happier than right now in this moment of time] However I noticed an emerging pattern. About half of the girls I laid, or maybe talked to for a while but then “forgot” about and later reunited, essentially wanted sexless dates. It’s almost as if they feel guilty for putting out and now want some sort of commitment right away. It pisses me off. I don’t mind doing things with girls outside the bedroom, but I have needs too and because getting laid is so easy now, I’ve been a little spoiled. It’s a recurring theme too. Let’s say I hung out with girl X for a month or two, very casually, then lost contact. Initiated contact again a few months later. She comes over, we hang out, however she wants commitment, or at least “no sex tonight”. Huh? How do I get around this? Or is it just one of those facts I have to accept? A girl with some nice fake ones who pulled this exact stunt on me last night is sleeping in my bed right now :/

Yes, what you are describing is colloquially known as “putting the dick back in the box”. Girls will do this — that is, they will begin to play hard-to-get — for two reasons: 1. they see you as boyfriend material and 2. they feel slutty for having slept with you, but still like you. You see, despite the protestations of feminists and the slut pride crowd to the contrary, girls subconsciously know their sluttitude is unattractive to men worth cornering into relationships. So they will pull back and guard the vagina to fool the man into thinking they would make good, faithful wives and mothers. But experienced men know better.

The way to get around this peculiar female instinct is to follow classic anti-slut defense game strategy. Agree with the girl, without really agreeing with her. That is, verbally assent to her pull back, while physically continuing to push for sex. If you get resistance the whole way, try a freeze-out, where you calmly and without a trace of spite, simply turn your back and occupy yourself with some other interest, like a video game or a book.

Whatever you do, NEVER let one of these pullback girls get the better of you. That means no sexless cuddling with them and no admittance to your bed without putting out. If necessary, tell an inordinately obstinate cocktease to leave your place so that you can get some decent shut-eye.

Maxim #29: Once a girl knows she can get sexless intimacy from you, she will curse you with that for as long as you allow it to happen.

***

Email #4: A reader has a question about figuring out the timing of a girl’s ovulation cycle to tailor the appropriate degree of game response.

21-year old dude from Canada. Long time reader. Doubtless you’ve changed my life for the better. Your blog is easily my favourite (on the whole wide internets, dread/love being favourite posts). I find your writing style inspiring.

Anyway, trying to figure this (re: subject) out for the first time with the current main girl, from one of your posts in jan of this year. What I’m confused about is exactly how to apply it once you get an approximation for when she’s on the rag. Can you get ovulation it to more precise than ‘7-12’ days after she’s off it? Is the effect of ovulation going to peak on a certain day?  From what I have (she just got on the pill, so effects will be muted, depends largely on the girl of course), she reports being more consistent (3 days on the rag, 13-16 June and 14-17 July, she expects the same august). For what it’s worth, she’s what one might call ‘shy’, has never done anal (‘saving it for marriage’ of course), so instead of convincing her, I’m introducing it under the radar or what have you and doing this to get a range of dates to try setting the mood and have it be an enjoyable, organic sexual experience for her. Advice along those lines would be much appreciated as well.

Perhaps a biologist better informed about these sorts of things could chime in here? From what I know, women can get pregnant throughout their fertility window, but the odds go way up during the two days or so that the egg is in transit, which falls toward the end of that week-long window. I don’t know if you can time her ovulation to better than 7-12 days after she’s done flooding her pants with her bloody stigmata.

I do like where your head is, though. If you’re going to do anal on a girl, the best time is during her ovulation, when her tingles will be oscillating most vigorously for the mass migration of your mass member. Anal sex is the demand of the cocky asshole alpha male, so you’d want to introduce this exhilarating aspect of your sexuality to her while she’s most receptive to it.

***

Email #5: A reader who requested anonymity asked what he should do about male friends ogling his woman.

Thanks to your blog I was able to have a girlfriend, it used to be girlfriend(s) but academia got in the way and I lost the other 2. [ed: fuck academia!]

Anyways I am kind of new to the blog, I have only been following your blog for a year now so I am not sure if you covered this already; but how does one handle “male friends”? Of course my girlfriend is a pretty one and she gets attention from other men wanting to take her out and stuff. I understand that women needs orbiters, but should I continue my iron grip on my rule that she can’t hang out with them? How should I do this without looking like I see these men as a threat to my alphadom?

Male friends who hit on your girlfriend are no male friends at all. Doing so violates a man pact, and frees you to treat them like you would any male interloper who was a stranger to you.

Of course, you can tackle this unpleasantness by forbidding your girlfriend from fraternizing with your friends, but this is as liable to push her into their arms as it is to lock her down in your orbit. You ever see what kids do when their parents absolutely forbid them a sweet treat or a certain toy? They want it more than ever! At least with kids you can lock them in the basement. Can’t do that with a girlfriend.

A better way is, first, to refrain from perceiving flirtatious banter between your GF and your male friends where there may not be any; and, second, if you are convinced the flirty banter is real and not a figment of your insecurities, to play a little reverse psychology.

You: “Joe can’t keep his eyes off you!”

Her: “Joe’s not flirting with me!”

You: “Come to think of it, you two would make an adorable couple, like two puppy dogs begging for love.”

Her: “I would never date Joe.”

Joe: [chastened] “Never?”

***

Email #6: A reader (troll alert) poses a supposed paradox.

Why do girls get off on attention from beta’s, be it in real life or online dating? I get repulsed when a fat chick hits on me and actually feel worse that she thinks she’s in my league. Why don’t women feel the same?

Women do get repulsed when betas hit on them. But they don’t get repulsed when betas shower them with harmless compliments or listen like good eunuchs to their boring complaints about their badboy lovers. Plus, fat chicks are INSTANTLY repulsive to men, because men are visually oriented; in contrast, beta males are not instantly repulsive to women, because women are attitudinally oriented. It takes a little more effort from the typical beta male to thoroughly repulse a woman. There’s your answer.

***

Email #7: Testosteroney goodness.

Regarding your high t girls article.

I’m currently dating a weird specimen. She has man feature in her face (chin, jaw and facial hair) and manly shoulders. Yet she has also very feminine traits (very nice, wide hips and round ass, soft smooth beautiful skin, pulpeous lips, nice round breasts).

Could she be a high T and high oestrogene girl at the same time and whats your take on these girls?

As realtalkers will tell you, genetics and biology aren’t deterministic; they’re probabilistic. The girl with the manjaw and broad shoulders has a higher chance than the average girl of evincing male psychological traits, but it isn’t necessarily so. There’s nothing in the kingdom of biomechanics that precludes a manjawed girl from also possessing womanly hips and a feminine disposition.

We are only just beginning to unravel the blueprint of the human mind, so don’t expect pat answers that explain the origins of these sorts of accurate observational generalizations about men and women. We are still at the nexus of theory and evidence, and there’s bound to be shifting along this fault line for decades to come. Once we have pat answers, though, expect the reengineering to begin in earnest.

My own speculation is that it is possible for women to have both a high T hormonal profile and a highly feminine brain. Often, as I suspect is the case with sex changers, the mind and the body are at war with each other, having taken different paths due to some unusual prenatal hormonal or genetic broth. Thus, we see in the state of nature rare cases of feminine-looking women with manly desires and personalities and characteristics, and vice versa. But the rare cases do not refute the generalizations. In fact, they bolster them.

I’ll tell you something… if you enjoy lots and LOTS of aggressive, bed-shaking sex, you can’t go wrong with a feminine-looking girl who has been blessed (cursed?) with a male mind. Until she cheats on you.

ps “pulpeous lips”. lol.





Comments


  1. on July 27, 2012 at 1:06 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

    lzozozozozozo

    GBFM RULE #1 OF NOT BEING PUT IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
    NO SEX = NO TALK
    SEX = NO TALK
    WASH, RINSE, REPEAT

    zlzozozozzzozozozz

    Like


    • Chisel it in stone… in private, let them talk all they want… but don’t answer with more than curt replies, grunts, or an occasional pithy bemused observation.

      They may, however, listen in as you hold court with your followers.

      Like


    • So how’s that working out for you sport? 🙂

      Like


      • on July 27, 2012 at 10:21 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

        not talking too muchcc
        but lostass fun lzozlzlzl
        funny thing is
        now and then i don’t mind a hot grilr friend
        so i treat her nice and lsiten to her
        and listen and am nice
        and there was one who told me up front that veyr guys falls in love with her
        and she just wanted a friend
        so i said, “cool ok LJBF.”
        and a few months later, one night she goes,
        “you’re not like other guys–you’re not gay, right? and yet you’re nice to talk to. you’re a really nice guy.” she smilezz.
        so da gbfm says, “not really, but i get so much pussy that sometimes i’m nice to a girl just to catch a break.”
        she looks at me, “Seriously?”
        gbfm “yah.”
        she goes, “why me? are you not attracted to me?”
        “sure i am,” says i, “but only so many cycles in the day.”
        “what are the other ones hotter?”
        “not really, i don’t think.” and i go bakc to wtahcing the TV an eating my peanuts.
        when it’s time to say bye, she kisses me on the lips
        ten minutes later i’m doing her doggystylez
        lzozozozo
        *NOTE DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME
        you must be an GAME expert to pull the nice-guy reversal and go from a girl who once said “LJBF” to doggystlez zlozozooz

        so after we are lying in bed she goes,
        “i guess we’re friends with benefits now.”
        and i says “no just benefits.”
        she giggles and i fuck her one more itme on her desk
        and then go home to get some goddamn rest!

        Like


  2. on July 27, 2012 at 1:16 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

    so i was in a shurch the other daay
    i was in church the other day
    and the minister had very nice hair
    and a big smile
    and i noticed dat all the young ladies
    were shifting around in their seat
    as they had sore buttholez
    so i leaned towards my friend
    and i whispered,
    “a lot of da womenz in my genenrtion have sore buttes fom being buttcocked so much.”
    and the minisiter
    he heard me oh no!
    he stopped his sermon
    and walkd towards me his face turning red
    and he said
    “ABOMINATINETION!!!! WE HAVE A SINNER IN THIS CHURCH!”
    he pointed at me, and all da womenz his harmez said “yah yah yah! a sinnerz!””
    “THROUGH HIM, SATAN HAS DISGRACED MY CHURCH WITHTHE WORD BUTT-COCKED!!!!”
    and he pointed at me as i cowered
    in fear of hs thurndering lord’s voice
    and nice hair and pleasnant TV preacher’s smile
    owned by da bernaneknetworkz
    and the womenz all said “SINNER SINNER SINNER!”
    but yet i stood and said,
    “who is the sinner–those who buttcock, or those who sayeth and observeth that ye all be buttocking, which is an abomination in the yees of my fatheer?”
    “ABONOMINTAION! SINNER! SUCH LANUGUAGE SHALL NOT BE TOLRERATED IN THE HAOUSE OF THE LORD!!!” the minsister smited me and all the womenz followed suit with their handbabags lzolzlo
    and so they killed the messenger of our Father’s will
    as they had done to Jesusth
    and so many poets and prophets
    before
    and
    since

    and while the church building let stood
    its soul was buttcocked
    into
    obliviolnonomzlzozlzoozzozlzolzzozzlozzz

    Like


    • on July 27, 2012 at 3:26 pm SanFrancisco

      When heartiste posts become more insightful, so do GBFM’s

      Like


      • on July 27, 2012 at 3:47 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

        yah da other night i was out with heartistes again
        and we were surrounded by all da lotsas hotties
        as we always are when out on da town!
        and i spied a hot hotty right when heartsites did
        and since heartiste is da master alpha
        while i am da minor alpha
        i told heartiste dat he gets first pick naturally
        and i get next two
        so it’s not only a win-win situation
        but its a
        win-win-win situationz
        as da gbfm loves da 3somez!
        me and the next two hottest hotties!
        with just one dude me
        as i don;t wanna have to watch my bunghole
        during da pleaseures sexytime sessiosnsa zlzozozl
        as i neiteh rgive nor reciev bthxt butthext
        and never sectrely tape it
        and thus wiull never be published famous in my lifetime
        and will go to my grave unnoticed
        like my hero
        herman melvillee lzozzozoozozz
        my own moby dick hath oft been referred to
        as da great white whale lzozzozlzlzlozlzz

        Like


      • on July 27, 2012 at 6:32 pm ThatNorwegianGuy

        Indeed. This is poetry right here.

        Like


    • Someone needs to take gbfm and make him a character in a cartoon. And hrtiste for that matter. Hrtiste would be the main character….the wise, surly and aloof guy..kinda like house (m.d.). Gbfm would pop in occasionally like kramer on seinfeld…foaming at the mouth, eyes bulging. Everyone thinks hes crazy as fuck they constantly discover his rantings to be shockingly true.

      Like


    • Preach it, bro… you’re an acquired taste, but once acquired, like fine caviar.

      Like


    • I like GBFM’s sermonizing SO much better than King A (Matthew King)’s drivel….

      Like


      • on July 27, 2012 at 7:12 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

        lzozozozooz

        yah da A in King A stands fro assclcownz zlzozzloozlooz

        Like


      • Come on. They’re both pleasant, depending on the mood.
        But the legendary gbfm cracks me up.

        Like


      • Naw, King A is one of the majordomos in this chateau.

        You may not like what he says, or what you perceive as the attitude in which it’s said… but you can’t call it drivel.

        Like


      • Indeed. Drivel is pointless and a waste of time. Matt’s advice tends to actively send the reader in the wrong direction. He’s the most transparent of internet tough guys and it’s depressing to read.

        Like


    • on July 27, 2012 at 7:21 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

      lozozozozlzo
      christianity without the christian sexual morality
      of a woman having 2 serve a man
      one man her husband & god
      instead of her gina and butt tingles
      is like the chocolate chip cookie
      without the chocalate chips
      sans the cookie dough
      christianity without the christian sexual morality
      is like an airplane
      without wings
      and no pilot
      in the cockpit lzozozooz (as da womenzgetz banged by randoms in her cock-pit lozozoz)
      christianity without the christian sexual morality
      is a front
      for th bernanke divroce cartel
      where minsterz wed men
      to desouled buttcocked womenz
      loyal first and foremost to da fed
      to da divorce lawyer incearcerating state
      and last to god and beauty and soul
      lzozlozzozolozozo
      christianity without the christian sexual morality
      is where men take all the risksz
      and must uphold all the traiditonal work
      of the hudsbdand and providerz
      but they get none of the rewardz
      as their wife was buttcocked in coclllege
      buttcocked during marriage which da mnz fund
      and buttoccked after divorce funded by alinomiez
      whihc women are totld they are etitleed to in collegez
      where they are
      and trianed to hate menz
      and trianed to hate her soul
      trianed to fart on a higher fate
      christianity without the christian sexual morality
      is just like missionary position
      but in the butthole instead of da gina
      christianity without the christian sexual morality
      is like a car
      without wheelzzz
      christianity without the christian sexual morality
      is like a fish with a bicycle
      christianity without the christian sexual morality
      is like the fiat dollar
      fundamentally worthlezzss
      but for da bernake police state
      backing it up
      placing good menz in debt in da education housing internet bubblez
      christianity without the christian sexual morality
      is like taking a womenz out to dinner
      paying for the dinner
      as she textz ben bernanke for a midnight spank me lzozozozoz
      christianity without the christian sexual morality
      is like the federal reserve
      which is neither federal
      nor does it have any reserves
      christianity without the christian sexual morality
      is like a sectetive taping of butthext
      without the girlths conthent
      filmed by a “six foot tall butthexual hero”
      who lies about his height zlzozoooz
      & rhyems itwithgoldman sax
      christianity without the christian sexual morality
      is like the truth
      without
      the Truth.

      Like


  3. on July 27, 2012 at 1:16 pm Rumpole Stiltskin

    Best post I’ve read here in a while.

    A few test your game posts wouldn’t go a miss sometime soon.

    Like


  4. RE:#2
    While respecting another soldier’s girl is laudable, in reality if he doesn’t take advantage, he’s just passing her on to some other dude that will. And that one will probably end up being some loser.

    Like


    • In this instance, I grimly wonder if it may be a blessing to “seal the deal”, and let the soldier know what he is really engaged to. That young man likely has no clue. So many of them don’t, it seems.

      GBFM gets that exactly right.

      Like


      • Yeah but if he’s a beta, he will blame YOU.
        I know a guy who heard that his girl was being plowed by another dude. He went to his place, confronted him, beat him up, and came back to his princess.

        Typical blue pill shit.

        Like


      • Photos. That image will never leave him.

        Like


      • I wouldn’t call it “blue pill,” I’d call it typical white knight behavior. And it’s especially common amongst men in stereotypical “protector” roles like cops, firefighters, military, etc…

        These guys practically never learn. They can get screwed over by bitches a dozen times over and they’ll still cling to their old fashioned double standards and their mentality of “she’s a girl, so you better not lay a finger on her because wimmin are pure and innocent creatures” which they were taught by their blue collar fathers when they were 6 years old and which they think makes them “real men”.

        After all, a “real man” would never hit a womyn. Nah, apparently in these guys’ world view, it is far more appropriate for “real men” to pedestalize all wimmin and be ruled over by a vagina. That, apparently, is the mark of a “real man,” if you ask a typical cop, firefighter, soldier, NAVY seal, special forces, SWAT team member, etc…

        Here the perceptive observer will note a paradox: namely, that some of the most masculine men in society are often times the biggest WK’s around. If it were not so, we wouldn’t be living under a matriarchy, would we? Every anti-male policy of the Nanny State is ultimately enabled by men, just as it is enforced against men,

        My theory is that guys who are “natural alpha’s” often have internalized white knight values because they’ve never had to hone their skill in order to overcome natural deficits the way that less desirable men have.

        Like


      • In all honestly, wouldn’t that be honestly be considered as alpha? A beta would sit around and cry while she is getting plowed by some other dude right in front on him.

        This guy probably beat the dude’s ass and dragged his own gf back to his house.

        Like


      • no, it takes two to screw. the girl’s a cheating slut. no alpha would mate guard a cheating slut. the guy’s an aggressive beta.

        Like


      • If a girl ever cheats on you, just leave. It happens to the best men, it has nothing to do with you. It’s not the other man’s fault, it’s absolutely and entirely hers.
        Just leave, even if you’re madly in love, your pride and self-worth as a man is more important than your feelings. Don’t ever talk to her again and find another one asap.
        That’s the only way to emerge almost unscathed from a cuckolding experience.

        Like


    • Agreed. If you can steal her, that means he wasnt strong enough to keep her. Noone has ever given me a good reason on why you shouldn’t do something you want to do if you can get away with it. Being a “decent” person is the worst reason of all by the way.

      Like


      • Boning a dude’s girl while he’s deployed overseas is just hideously low. Even if someone else would do it– so what. Don’t piss on the seat, even if they did.

        Compromising your character in this way because it’s so important to get that particular piece of ass is a version of putting pussy on a pedestal.

        Like


      • Passingby and PDX are right. You’re wrong.

        If provisions weren’t made for containing her hypergamy before he deployed, he’s shit out of luck. She is either Penelope or Party Girl. Her “oops I forgot the engagement ring” maneuver indicates to which camp she belongs.

        We give the hypergamy of 19-year-olds a pass because what do you expect! She’s so young! You can’t really think she’d be faithful! Meantime, moralizers like you lay the blame on the man’s “character,” thus excusing her to follow her inner cum-dumpster, confident that the men will fight it out rather than incentivize her to keep her panties on.

        It is easier to think of these pre-whores in training as not women at all, properly speaking, just as we would never confuse a sex-worker with the Queen of England. You have to earn the privileges of a lady. The unbearable contradiction of our culture resides in the feminist demand to presume for themselves all the benefits of and deference to ladyship with none of the expected behavior in return.

        The Cuckold-to-Be stationed overseas engaged himself to an unchained slut ferret without making any accommodations to cage her while away. When he returns to a shredded and piss-stained estate, feminism has trained him (and you) to go after the proximate male against which she exercised her hypergamy — like blaming the curtains for being there rather than the vixen for relieving herself on them. It is an obscenity to cite a code of honor in furtherance of hypergamous license.

        Matt

        Like


      • A 10 from Montana… You keep that shit barefoot and pregnant not go overseas and fight other peoples battles for pay. Both people made their choices. Not saying its good to do this, but on the other hand he didnt have to join the military, and if they had met after the military signup she knew that being deployed was a real possibility, and chicks do that kind of thing A LOT, where they “date” a guy they know they wont have a future with because if they break up well it wasnt meant to be anyways, its the easy way out. I say, plow her with the force and bearing of a team of oxen. The other thing too, is using a 2nd phone instead of a main phone or facebook for meeting women.

        Like


    • Jody ain’t supposed to be a veteran.

      Like


  5. Ive got the beta cure for ya..folks. throw on TNT by AC/DC as loud as you can…and listen to it about 27 times in a row. Alpha to the core.

    Like


  6. on July 27, 2012 at 1:30 pm SanFrancisco

    Greatest post in a while. More of these would be great. More posts on careerist bitches would be good (I’m in San Francisco).

    Like


    • Ha. What do you need to know about careerists other than “avoid”?

      Like


      • on July 27, 2012 at 2:30 pm SanFrancisco

        Avoid for gf’s for sure, but they make up a significant amount of women here. I also get the sense that SF women are a bit older on average. I’m 21 and meet plenty of girls my age when in NYC. Typical SF chick I meet is 25yo, a 7, a career in marketing/HR/recruiting at a tech company, and disappointed with SF dating scene. 90% of girls I’ve had a good time with in SF were from South Bay or tourists.

        The minute I know a girl is from SF I recalibrate my game. Go for the one-night bang. If number close, I ask her out to coffee at an oddball time to assert that my time is important (I’ve found careerist chicks do the cancel because of work shit test, this preempts that).

        Like


  7. on July 27, 2012 at 1:31 pm Newly Aloof

    Email#1
    she said that she had a boy story for me. I said, so tell me. (Should have said, “I’m not into boys.” Or some shit to show casual disinterest)

    I want to talk to you about a situation too (Don’t tell her you have something to tell her, just say it.

    I said can I get your # and call & talk to you. (Should have just took her phone and entered your number)

    She said, I am not really comfortable with that and don’ think it would be a good idea. (you should have said, “you’re right, you enter my number.”)

    I was going to lay my intentions on the line honestly, “””objectively””” (Heartise will tell you logic kills the tingles)

    But, good for the dude for staying in the game at 38.

    Like


    • If I get that “I’m not sure I’m comfortable with giving the number” I calmly, and without bitterness, discuss Evo Psych and the number of years she, as a normal female, has left of being able to say that to any decent guy. There’s a way of doing it but it has to be done.

      If connected online I also remark matter of factly “I don’t stay connected online with anyone who wouldn’t meet with me for a meal at short notice, much less not give me their mobile number.”

      This always straightens them out. It’s direct and no-nonsense. It’s a firm and polite way of saying that the acquaintanceship ends if she doesn’t provide the number.

      But then, I don’t live in a feminist region. When you’re in such a region, all bets are probably off and, in fact, that is why the the PUAsphere mostly emanates from those areas.

      In many places, men only begin to get good at dating young women at 35 so it’s rather patronizing and indicative of the sorry state of American matriarchal culture that anyone would congratulate a 38 year old for “still being in the game”. I’m sure Kristen Stewart’s 41 year old director beau isn’t thinking he’s on the tail end of his conquests.

      But the old ladies of America would be glad to see 38 year old men patronized in such a manner by younger men instead of the younger men in other countries complaining about how older men are always taking the women their age.

      Like


      • “If I get that “I’m not sure I’m comfortable with giving the number” I calmly, and without bitterness, discuss Evo Psych and the number of years she, as a normal female, has left of being able to say that to any decent guy. There’s a way of doing it but it has to be done.”

        That would be reassuring but for the fact that it rests on the assumption that men in the west *aren’t* willing to pay for overpriced, used-up, mediocre-grade tail. All reliable indicators suggest the contrary. They are.

        There are tons of men out there who would be overjoyed to snag any tail for themselves at all, regardless of how low-grade it was. Wimmin see this and price themselves accordingly, which is to say: exorbitantly. Check out escort and sugar daddy sites. Pay attention to celebrity blogs when high profile divorces get mentioned. In this way you’ll get a sense of what the going rate is and how many pounds of flesh men are required to sacrifice these days in order to get laid on the regular.

        The price of sex in the West is sky high. It’s a seller’s market all the way.

        So yes, those dried up and worn out 40 year old broads who think they’re 25 still do have a chance, actually. How many 40-something guys make it their mission to hit on 20 and 30-somethings? Or how many 25 year olds hang out with 18 year olds? Not many on either side, I reckon. People tend to stick to their own groups out of habit and convention.

        Like


    • 38 is a mere boy and in fact he still likely behaves the same as an 18yo.

      Boy story? Don’t bother, at my age I’ve heard every story there is.

      “I said can I get your # and call & talk to you”

      I thought that he knew this girl so why wouldn’t he have her #?
      Most females just give me their # without asking and I generally just throw them in the garbage.

      “She said, I am not really comfortable with that and don’ think it would be a good idea”

      Buzz off stupid.

      “I was going to lay my intentions on the line honestly, objectively, but not needy”

      Oh that doesn’t sound needy at all. Never let a female know what your intentions are or be honest with them. Aside from sounding like a mangina she’s not going to believe anything you say anyway. Females will always project the way they would act onto you. And females don’t talk to communicate but to evade and throw you offf the scent. So all of your so called honesty will mean nothing and in fact will expose your weaknesses to her. She’ll put you in the friend omega zone fast.And at 38 you don’t need any annoying female friends

      Like


      • Geez, now I know the Apocalypse is nigh… that final paragraph rang solid… especially

        Females will always project the way they would act onto you.

        Like


  8. On email #4, a girl on the pill *does not ovulate*, since that’s how the pill works – stopping ovulation. There may have even been a blog post about differences in female preferences in males when they’re on the pill vs. off it? Pretty much flips their preferences, going for more beta type, because their bodies think that they’re already pregnant and need a provider. There are studies on that, whenever they investigate female preferences they ask if they’re on the pill or not, there are usually differences.

    Like


    • Slightly OT in wording but hopefully useful for something:

      PSA on fertility:
      “Your chances of conceiving will be much greater if you have intercourse during the fertile part of your cycle, around ovulation. To keep track, note the first day of each menstrual period on a handy calendar or diary; also try to note when you ovulate. Ovulation may occurr at the midpoint of the cycle (on day 14 of a 28-day cycle, for instance), but is less easy to predict in women with irregular cycles. In fact, recent studies show that only 30 percent of women ovulate in the middle of their cycle. Most women have their window of fertility anywhere from before day 10 of the cycle to after day 17.”

      Murkoff, Heidi, Arlene Eisenberg, and Sandee Hathaway, B.S.N. What To Expect When You’re Expecting. New York: Workman Publishing, 2002.

      I realize you’re not trying to get pregnant in this case, but, yes you can be more precise about when ovulation happens by using an ovulation kit. Its another pee on a stick thing and the results will tell you if you are ovulating or not. Obviously you would begin testing before you think you will ovulate and then when you get positive results, you’re in baby making territory!

      Anecdotally, behavior goes hooey during ovulation and in the last few days before menstruation.

      Like


      • lol, getting a girlfriend to pee on a stick to hit her with more precise game methods…

        Like


      • HAHAHA I’m sure an alpha could pull it off no sweat! 😉

        Like


      • Nah, a proper alpha wouldn’t bother with such details (can you imagine Clooney concerned about exactly when his gf is ovulating, as a cue to adjust his behavior?!), at most reacting to the behavioral changes associated with ovulation (since those are associated with the subconscious desire to stray/go for whoever is “most alpha”).

        Like


      • Alpha is all relative. In Podunk the manager of MickyD’s may be the alpha 🙂

        Like


      • I’m not into movie stars. They’re part of the problem. I’m still detoxing from Magic Mike. Blech.

        I see your point though. Here’s what is attractive about bothering with such details. Its one thing if a man can teach me something about some activity he knows a lot about, etc. Its quite another if he can teach me something about myself I don’t know. That’s not to say a guy understanding that twice a month you are going to turn into a basketcase unless you carefully ward against it should be an excuse for bad behavior, but you may be missing how comforting it is to have a man understand a woman’s biology.

        Sometimes its hard to step out of the feelings and remember what is causing it. Even though I keep track of things on my calendar, I don’t always think to look at it. Its usually an after the fact thing: a realization of “oh, that’s what that was all about.” And then a feeling of relief that most of what was just experienced can be dismissed as nothing other than my body toying with my mind. During those crazy times, if your partner could just remind you, hey, you know what, such and such is happening and you’ll probably feel better in a few days, that would be a huge help.

        Like


      • If you want a good considerate guy like that, what are you doing around such a game blog? The guy from email #4 referred to this post: https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/01/03/period-and-ovulation-tracker-as-seduction-tool, and wanted to know when his gf ovulates in order to attempt going anal on her…

        Besides, your hormones are generally not what induces your feelings, it’s more like they enhance your emotional reactions to external triggers (just would otherwise not bother you nearly as much) – that’s why a suggestion of “you’re being hormonal, your current emotional reaction is unjustified” could easily be answered with an “of course it is, you just don’t get me!!”. You’re much better off being the one keeping track of your hormones and when they’re causing you to react inappropriately, so that you could apologize to your partner about being that way and ask for special consideration during that time. Self-awareness beats having somebody else telling you what you’re thinking/feeling, always.

        Like


      • I’m familiar with the post referred to; its one of my favorites because it is absolute genius. Yes, I agree pointing things like that out has the potential to backfire on someone who isn’t self-aware 🙂 And, yes, I agree its best to be responsible for oneself; I’m talking about having a shared understanding.

        What am I doing around such a game blog? The interesting topics and good company 😉 The smarts around here are pretty impressive, and I find writing cathartic. I don’t know any other group that talks about this stuff much less allows me to express my opinions so freely.

        And, as an inconvenient side effect, someone had pointed out to me about ten months ago that I seemed to be discounting men who didn’t know game. I denied it at the time, but now I see that is the case.

        Like


      • Slightly OT in wording but hopefully useful for something:

        Yeah… providing a graveyard where boners go to die.

        Like


      • HAHAHA:) I do what I can. Shall I discuss breastfeeding next? Come on Eliot, there are young ‘uns here who don’t know this stuff. Its educational!

        Like


      • You’re a well-intentioned cute kid, and a pretty good sport… but try not to become the chateau’s schoolmarm… or ‘lovable clown’ mascot.

        Like


      • We already have Maya for that mascot thing.

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      • OK. Show us a pic of those bristols 🙂

        Like


      • He wasn’t asking that question for the purpose of calculating her fertile period and supposedly she’s on the pill.
        Many females have irregular periods so it’s hard to calculate. But the window of opportunity for getting pregnant is 3 days. However, sperm can survive as long as 6-7 days inside a female so I wouldn’trely upon the rhythm method for birth control 🙂

        Like


    • on July 27, 2012 at 4:03 pm RappaccinisDaughter

      Correct on e-mail #4. If she’s on the Pill, she’s not ovulating. Plus, the Pill does seem to have a libido-dampening effect for many women. It did for me.

      If she’s willing to go for an IUD instead, then you’re back in business. Women do ovulate on the IUD, and they’re vastly safer now than they were back in the 70s and 80s. Plus they are extremely effective, with failure rates rivaling that of tubal ligation.

      Finally, the ovulation isn’t timed from when we stop menstruating, it’s from when we start. Day 1 is the first day of the period; Day 14 is when she’s most likely to ovulate if she has a typical 28-day cycle.

      Like


    • Good call from several commenters that women on contraceptive pills don’t ovulate. Moreover, as medical students (are supposed to) learn, the time between onset of menses and the next ovulation is variable – that is, variable from woman to woman but also sometimes variable between one woman’s period and her next.

      If determining the timing of ovulation were easy, then Natural Family Planning would likewise be much easier. Unfortunately, while very effective when done properly, NFP relies on a woman keeping tabs on the consistency of her vaginal secretions (among other things). I think you’re out of luck on that one.

      Like


  9. Hey, can you expand on Email #3?

    I’m in a similar situation where last Friday I picked up this chick at the bar, walked back to my place, had debauched crazy monkey sex with her for a few hours and again in the morning.

    I played it cool all weekend, she met me out with some friends on Tuesday and last night, Thursday, I went back to her place and she was very adamant about no sex… I left her apt after that with the excuse that my back hurt. She’s texted me a couple of times since last night asking about my back and I’ve yet to reply.

    Should I reply at all or not really? I do have and LTR GF I told her about and she has her own thing on the side.

    What say you?

    Like


  10. on July 27, 2012 at 1:52 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

    Email #2:

    Bros beofre hos dude.

    “it takes a fanboy to fondel da pussy of another man’z fiance. it tkes a MAN to walk away while tryingto build a better day, living by an ehroic heroci heroic Code of honor.”

    lzozooz

    if you’re so hard up you have to go down on another man’s fiance–an honoable soldier serving overseas–i can only imagine how ugly your momma waszlz lzozlzozozzlozlzo

    in homer’s odyssey odysseus returns and slays kills all da menz who were trying to bed his wife peneleope, who like all women, never told them no, but never said yes, just lik ethis owmenz is doingzzz

    a lot of folks in homerz’ odyssey said odysseus would never return

    so you got to ask yourself one quetsion “do you feel lucky?”

    well, do ya punk?

    lzozlzoz

    Like


    • who like all women, never told them no, but never said yes, just lik ethis owmenz is doingzzz

      Great point and memory jogger… if memory serves, Penelope didn’t put them off altogether, and wisely so, because then she would have been at the mercy of the strongest (or whoever won the lottery amongst said suitors), who would then merely take her and the property, once they “legally” declared Odysseus dead.

      She and Telemachus had to “walk on eggshells”, as it were, and play the suitors against each other, in a fashion, as they partied and nearly ate the rightful owners out of house and home… until the master could return and set things right.

      Like


      • on July 27, 2012 at 7:14 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

        so u can see why the beranke class deocnstructed da greta books and classics got rid of egne geneiss moses homer virgil and mises

        because they all h8 storystsorysylzozozoz

        Like


    • I gotsta know

      Like


    • Cheating women are too hot, dude. I can’t resist.

      Never met a soldier’s fiance, but it’s a jungle out there now because of FEMINISM. Honor is for chumps, until patriarchal order is reestablished.

      Like


      • on July 27, 2012 at 8:47 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

        lzozozlzo

        anon = chump

        anon will never know the greater glory of exalting the patriarchy

        he’ll spend his life cleaning the gizz and shit of other men off his cock and tongue
        andconsdiering himself an alpha, as he tastes the shit and cum of other men and goes
        “mmm mmm good dat shit and cum sure is yummy! chumps don’t get no shit and cum of other men on their shump tongues! the cum and shit of othr men belongs to me da alpha anon. my motto is “all your shit and cum are belong to us! lzozolzlzo”

        lzozoozozozozo

        Like


      • Honor is for chumps, until patriarchal order is reestablished.

        A wise man doesn’t wait for the day of the race to start training… and a winner prepares long before.

        Like


  11. #1 – correct response is, “He showed up at 4:00 AM? Was he weeping? Because I’d expect a guy who stalks you at 4:00 AM telling you how much he loves you to be crying a lot too. Anyhow, if that’s your thing, let me know, I’ll quit bugging you to give you more time pursue him, if that’s your thing.”

    #2 – good call on not screwing another GI’s girl, for a couple reason. There is the man-pact, and you know how GI’s feel about Jody. Plus, GI’s tend toward violence, and if you’re in Montana… But more to the point, the FB friending thing combined with the supposed fiance-ship tells you this girl is a dunce, or she’s using you as a proxy to help dump Johnny. Pump & dump at most, but stay away because she’s setting up a dangerous situation when Johnny comes home on leave.

    #3 – It’s a target rich environment, Maverick. Keep these plates spinning, but don’t LTR them. They’re sluts, and now trying to virtue up to convince you to pedestalize them. Too late. When you find a girl that doesn’t immediately give over, but she’s genuininely interested in you, maybe that’s some LTR material. Don’t invest in any of the harem girls though – we know what they are, they’re just trying to re-negotiate price.

    Like


  12. Had to laugh at #3

    She was too tired for sex last night . Now these days I don’t need sex every day so a cuddle is nice and relaxing on such days. However it is not so much on a full recharge. So as soon as she said she was too tired, I was already on my way too kill some aliens.

    It was not a perfect ending because I still have this rhythm problem when she is on top where she speeds up too much when I wanted to prolong the agony, but the aliens unequivocally rejoiced at the mercy fate had given them.

    Like


  13. Yesterday you tweeted about Slate admitting that children of single parents do worse. We can put that in the museum of leftist delayed realizations along with marxism, existentialism, post-modernism, Freudianism, post-structuralism, radical feminism. Soon will be be adding multiculturalism.

    Like


  14. On Twitter you mentioned a date with a chick who used the expression “male privilege.” I’d love to hear how you handled that.

    Like


  15. #1: Whores respond to fun. Listening to college girl drama is not fun. Fail.

    #2: Hiding a ring? Whore. But you treated her like a lady. Fail.

    #3: Withholding sex means a slut is trying to beta you. Withhold contact until they want to fuck.

    #4: Don’t worry about her cycle. Just flip her on her tummy & tell her you want to put it in her lovely ass. Have lube handy.

    #5: They’re not your friends if they’re overtly ogling your woman.

    #6: Chicks are not dudes. That usually means they respond the exact opposite of how a dude would respond.

    #7: High testosterone girl with big breasts & butt? Good times!

    Like


  16. I’ve had email #3 happen a lot. If a girl puts out already on the 1st or 2nd date, she’s reluctant to put out on the next date until she gets to know me better.

    Like


  17. [ed: confirmed bachelors have never been happier than right now in this moment of time]

    Was that a veiled dig? “Confirmed bachelor” is Brit tabloid speak for homosexual.

    Like


  18. ok, as for the first guy. I have a similar situation -age wise- that I have yet to fuck up. No creepy poetry etc. like beta story from a week or two ago but also not much dhv’ing or rapport on my part. I am getting ready to quit my job and would like to pick up my secretary, who also a relative of the boss. What’s the best approach, should I just say hey I’d like to see you now that I’m gone or what….?

    Like


  19. Being a former military man myself, I’m not about to steal another soldier’s girl.

    Your code will find no sympathy here, other than the confused advice of nihilists/relativists who cannot understand why men live by codes. To wit:

    But will you be able to sleep at night, knowing you abetted the whoreishness of a girl engaged to a fellow soldier stationed overseas? I don’t ask this question lightly. I’ve been in your situation, and I’ve had a few pangs of guilt. But just a few. And they pass quickly.

    “First Things First.” You are breaking no bond with the soldier/sap stationed overseas. That was already done by the girl’s furtiveness about her engagement and toe-dipping into the waters of hypergamy. Penetration is not the beginning of an act of cheating, it is its culmination. “In dreams begin responsibilities.”

    Or, if you are religiously inclined, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that every [woman] who looks at a [man] lustfully has already committed adultery with [him] in [her] heart.”

    In other words, she has already committed the act of betrayal, innocuous-seeming though it may be, while further handicapping you from protecting her, her fiancé, and yourself from a disastrous escalation by her withholding (and, indeed, deliberate concealment) of key information. Her pledge to him is mooted. “Engaged ain’t married.”

    I have no remorse for the women presented to me in these circumstances. I am not the adulterous agent. I am the agent that heightens the contradictions already present. Their bond is a sham, and a deleterious sham at that: it will serve as a cover to conceal her betrayals of mind and body not just throughout the engagement but throughout the marriage, until it inevitably ends in a break-off.

    Heartiste had an excellent fiction-story post (that I can never find) about what responsibilities you have toward the innocent bystander — much less fellow warrior — you just cuckolded. It was about a European au pair who lied about her engagement, and the beta who tried to confront the cuckolder on the telephone. You are not natural enemies! You are the same men at different points along the alpha curve. Only the presumptions of hypergamy make you take the conflict to each other. That men would fight over a promiscuous woman only makes her promiscuity all the more valid, tempting, controlling, and effective. Instead, the narrator of the story counseled the cuckold to throw all of her shit into the street and go radio silent.

    This is what bros before hos truly means. It means eliminating the influence of the woman utterly in your consideration of respect toward other men, especially in a brotherhood. Try this thought experiment. Do you imagine she will only relieve her hypergamous urges on you? If you nobly defer, she will go to choice B, even if that means beta. Because it’s not about the particular men she happens to run across. It is about her indulging an urge that she began to nurse even before she stepped into the coffee shop. And the entire culture abets her in that indulgence.

    You are right to feel guilt. But know whence that guilt comes, and know how to manage it in light of everything around you. How you should navigate this hypergamous honey trap depends on the details of the situation, but you do no one any favors by stepping into the Suit of White Armor she has so neatly laid out for you, least of all the soldier overseas.

    I present this as food for thought, not as advice to cuckold a brother-in-arms. It is a situation that requires leadership, because her hypergamy is the default influence leading everyone over the waterfall’s edge.

    Matt

    Like


  20. Maan, first guy looks like me at 16.

    Like


  21. Email1: Heartiste is dead on. He nailed every point you fucked up in. Don’t feel bad, you’re giving it a go and that’s half the battle. The awkwardness you feel at work now is a big part of why we try not to shit where we eat lol the correct response to “I have a boy story” is “I so completely don’t care lol”. Same way you’d respond if I told you I have all these cool unicorn facts to share with you. You’re a 38yo man, you have more important shit going on in your life than waiting (overnight!!) to hear about some young chick’s silly drama.

    She mentioned she was seeing an older man, which was good for you until you repeatedly dug your hole deeper and deeper lol. It’s all good man, now you know how subtle a shit-test can be and you’ll be on the lookout in the future. …hopefully lol

    Email2: She wants to fuck. She mentioned the BF to alleviate her guilt and avoid ASD (hey I TOLD him, so anything that happened after that wasn’t MY fault!!).  On top of it she called him her BF instead of Fiancé. Because fiancé might scare you off but BF might not and she doesn’t want you to be scared off.  “oh but she said she hides the ring because people–” no, shut up lol look at what she does not what she says.

    If you didn’t care about the GI you could bang her brains out till he gets home.  And in fact you wouldn’t even get caught…except OH NO WAIT you gave her your Facebook so now if her guy finds out and rages he and his buddies have your photo, your full name, a list of your friends, possibly your address and phone number and place of employment. STELLAR PLAN! lol

    Don’t ever give your personal info to a girl with a significant other, jeezus lol

    You can still fuck her (her kiss at the end was her signal) but you’re approaching it in a gay way. You are her monkey branch, she’s lining you up. Do you think she’s going to break up and call off a WEDDING and then Facebook message you and say “hey so do you want to get coffee?” when you might have moved on by then?  Hell no. If you were fucking her regularly (ie – the monkey’s hand is gripping the next branch) she could leave him for you.

    But then you’re the guy who broke up a relationship and ruined two lives for a girl that you just want to bang, not marry (I presume).  There are a lot of moral issues for you to consider in what you’re doing.  I have my own code of what situs I’ll pursue and what ones I won’t but I learned that about myself from being in these situs a bunch of times and they’re based on my own personality and beliefs. You need to figure out your code of ethics not just for this girl but for these situations in general.

    If you say “I’ll only cheat with a girl if we won’t get caught cause I don’t wanna get beaten up” I won’t call you a pussy. If you say “I can’t help a girl cheat especially on a fellow GI so I won’t do it” I won’t call you a pussy. But if you say “I DUNNOOOOO maaaaybe?  Umm how about we trade facebooks?  Is this a good idea? I dunno I’m just a plastic bag blowing in the wind, I don’t know anything about myself or have any personal code of conduct because I don’t really know what I’m doing” I’ll call you a pussy.

    Like you wrote “I think we’re probably headed for–“…does that sound like you’re leading the interaction like a man toward your goals?  Or does that sound like you’re just waiting for her to hopefully lead it where you want?  I don’t know anything about army stuff but do you want the guy in charge of your troop saying “alright listen up we’re heading to this position let’s go” or do you want him saying “gee guys I think we might end up over here maybe? What do you think?”

    Email3 (and the guy in this comment section who has the same problem): you’re making them feel like a slut and it’s triggering their Buyer’s Remorse.  Usually the situation comes up from acting cold after sex.  Like banging for a few weeks and then just not contacting her again for a month. Or after your first hookup you “play it cool” and don’t txt her with a “had a good time get home safe babe” after she walks out your door etc.

    Think back over your interactions from the period where you jizzed to where she wanted a no-sex date. Somewhere in there, consistently with all the girls this is happening with, you’re making her feel like a slut that you just want sex from.

    As far as how to handle it follow Heartiste’s advice with the pushing it then freeze-out. Definitely don’t let them stay over.

    If you want to get all “dark triad”, Mystery had a good routine where he’d say “No nothing’s wrong I guess. I’m just attracted to girl’s who aren’t ashamed of their sexuality and I thought you were that type which is why I liked you but now you’re playing this weird “I don’t want to have sex” game and it’s sort of silly to me. I’m just not really feeling like having you stay over tonight, it’s nothing personal I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do. I guess I just thought you were more interested in me beyond friendship is all.” which is a big mind-fuck lol. I’ve used variations of this. Don’t use it unless you have to cause it’s an invite for a lot of drama and a big dramatic conversation.

    Email4: use a shit-ton of lube. Tooooooons. And use a condom so you don’t end up having to read babynames.com

    Email5: what you feel, she feels. If you think they’re a threat, she will too. 90% of guys, especially her orbiters and your bros, have no game. Even if they flirt they’d never be able to take it all the way to sex. Now if she thinks “my BF gets insecure when Bob flirts with me…I wonder why, I thought Bob was a loser beta I just jokingly flirt with but if BF is worried about him he must know something I don’t…I wonder if Bob has a huge cock?  Maybe he’s a player…BF wouldn’t be worried if Bob didn’t bang girls like me all the time…”

    See what I’m sayin?  No jealousy, no insecurity. Treat these guys the way you’d treat your 12 year old brother flirting with your GF.

    Email6: what Heartiste said.

    Email7: that’s a man, baby!

    Like


  22. on July 27, 2012 at 5:41 pm Days of Broken Arrows

    Email#1
    she said that she had a boy story for me….

    To which he replied, “What are you, in fifth grade? A ‘boy story??’ Let’s talk when you learn to speak like an adult. Bye”

    A good way to judge when a woman is “playing” you is when she says things in a way a man could never get away with. This “baby talk” bullshit she’s throwing down in a prime example. I don’t care WHAT her story was, he needed to reframe.

    Then he needed to cut her off for a while.

    My lord, this whole thing pisses me off. What a stupid fucking manipulative cunt. She clearly needed a (metaphorical) bitch-slapping and knows it. She’ll only be happy with a guy who calls her on her retard shit. This girl better be hot as fuck because very little justifies her cutesy “boy story” routine followed by NOT giving him her digits.

    Like


    • on July 27, 2012 at 5:51 pm Days of Broken Arrows

      Addendum: I’ve noticed a lot of really horrible women use the word “boy” when they mean men. This is a “tell.” The very phrase “boy story” should have set of red alerts.

      Language reveals us. “Boy” is a favorite word on feminist blogs. It seems cute on the surface, but it’s really a way to trivialize and demean men. Any woman who uses “boy” when she means “man” has control-freak issues, an agenda, or all of the above.

      Like


      • Gotta second this. Excellent point.

        Like


      • They well know experience is source of a man’s status and reveal they know the real score. Return them the favor and give them pride by taking note that they are an experienced, older woman.

        Like


      • yes, when i hear cracks or comments about my age or the age gap etc i say “You want a boy or you want a man?” if i get waffle, i move on.

        Like


      • on July 28, 2012 at 3:00 pm The One Reason

        This. is. so. golden. Adopted for use.

        Like


      • When I fuck girls who have BFs/finances/husbands I make sure to only refer to them as her “boy”. Like “lol did your boy ask where you were?”. I’ll also only refer to myself as a man. “liar. you know you love it when a man takes charge”. It doesn’t matter if he’s older than me, bigger than me, more successful as a man than me, he’s just a “boy”.

        Language is powerful.

        Like


    • Clearly she’s being manipulative, but I think that response is over the top. Maybe that’s your style, but an overblown reaction isn’t going to get you anywhere.

      If it were me, I’d say something like, “Tell me after recess, I’m going to go pull the hot girl’s pigtails.” If she’s being cutesy, beat her at her own game. I happen to LIKE cute, sassy girls. I don’t wanna put them off. I understand the concept of reframing, but there are so many directions to take it. There’s no need to jump off the boat if it’s not sinking.

      Like


      • on July 27, 2012 at 8:57 pm Days of Broken Arrows

        OK, let me put it another way. I’ve had women give me their numbers who I spoke to for like 3 minutes in 7-Eleven. When I was 19 I scored digits from women old enough to be my mother. I once asked a complete stranger for some of her soda and food at a Fourth of July fireworks show and went home with a number. I once got a # from a black Amazon 6 inches taller by saying about two lines, one of which was: “Hey, so can we get married? I’ve always wanted tall kids!”

        This woman turned out to be someone so manipulative that even after they built intimacy she denied him a number! WTF is that? I mean, it’s a number not a blow job. Sorry, but I think this level of manipulation warrants a metaphorical spanking and guys need to look out for the signals: baby talk, “secrets,” conspiratorially talking about “other men,” high drama.

        And by the way, nothing gets a self-styled “little girl” tingling like someone who steps into play the role of the daddy she clearly wants.

        Like


      • Have to agree… you have to treat women like intelligent teenagers. It’s easy to get impatient with their bs, but to maintain a connection you need the iron fist wrapped in a velvet glove.

        Like


      • Why is she being manipulative at all? From the sounds of things she’s already LJBFed the dude in her mind. Any potential for anything else is purely in this dude’s head.

        Like


      • Eh… you’re right, I guess. I guess she isn’t being outright “manipulative,” just that she keeps blowing hot and cold. She tells the guy her story, and then when he tries to get her number, she says she isn’t comfortable talking about it. I’m not sure if she meant she wasn’t comfortable giving him her phone number, or if she wasn’t comfortable talking abotu it further. Whatever. It’s a bad scene to be consulting a girl about romance issues, because that means she’s not interested in you, as she’s still focused on another guy.

        If it were me, I would probably say, after hearing her story, “Fascinating. Here’s where I’ll be later, if you need to get away from that other guy.” Or, when she refused to give him her number, I would say “Well. I guess you prefer the 4 AM visits.” and stroll off.

        Like


    • on July 28, 2012 at 2:58 am Mr. Pointyface

      If a girl won’t give you her phone number– I don’t see how she will POSSIBLY fuck….

      Like


  23. Does a conquerer go to a girl’s place to ask what’s wrong?

    NO!

    If a pillaging and raping horse-lord wouldn’t do it, then YOU don’t do it.

    The guy who met the coffee shop girl with a bf who may or may not be imaginary should have just spit in her fucking face for being a pig while her maybe-fake boyfriend is serving his country.

    Just imagine the horror as she sits there balling her eyes out because she paid the price for cheating on her imaginary boyfriend.

    Like


  24. on July 27, 2012 at 6:12 pm immoralgables

    Out of all the posts I read on here and the manosphere, it’s probably these Mailbag ones that I learn the most from. For some reason they really work for me and maybe because I see me or my old self in some of the letters.

    -I.G.

    Like


  25. Great post! And I have to say, it disgusts me how many soldiers have their gf’s/fiances/wives cheat on them. A man is putting his life on the line for his country, the ultimate selfless act, while the hussy he thought was his is banging every guy in town, a very selfish act. This is why I think most Western women are only good for pump-and-dumps. No use being attached to these succubi, that only leads to pain and misery.

    Like


    • Hopefully, it won’t take too long for soldiers to realize that a country so degenerate that it’s women behave like that without reprisal, sure as heck ain’t worth lifting a finger for, in any way, shape or form. Putting ones life on the line, for a steaming pile of good-for-nothing shit, sure doesn’t seem worth it to me.

      Like


      • And as we’ve also seen, men are giving up the “dream” of a “traditional family” because it’s just not worth it. What happens when a generation just gives up? Will there be hope for the future? Something better change, or else America, and even the world, as we know it is fucked. Japan is already ahead of us in this respect with their Herbivore Men. It’ll be interesting to see where Japanese culture is in 10 years.

        Like


      • I, a veteran myself, have long tired of the carte blanc “support our soldiers” meme… not a whole helluva lot to be proud of these past fifty years, in either performance nor political agenda of how the military is used.

        And as current history shows in the swirling bowl that is this culture, the so-called “Greatest Generation” left their guts on the fields Europe.

        Like


      • I often wonder about that: how much has two centuries of industrial-scale slaughter culled the alpha males of Western society?

        Like


      • I agree about the wars of the past several decades being bullshit, but he’s still in a war zone and could be maimed or killed at any time due to the nature of the guerilla warfare over there. I know I don’t have the guts to do that. It takes a specific kind of person to know that they could be harmed or killed at any second as part of their job.

        Meanwhile his fiance will be fucking every guy in town, and if he dies she may get access to his pension, allowing her to live a comfortable life without having to work….Until the next beta provider comes along, that is.

        Like


  26. “Anal sex is the demand of the cocky asshole alpha male, so you’d want to introduce this exhilarating aspect of your sexuality to her while she’s most receptive to it.”

    I had a convo today, with my girl, about anal. She subtly requested the intrusion, which I declined.

    I told her I once performed the act and that my rogering of this girl’s butthole left my penis drowning in frothy cocktail of fecal matter and lube … which was really gross.

    My girl seemed a tad embarrassed after I described the excretory functions of a past lover … but the broad who shat on my cock ruined the sex act for all women after her.

    Such is life.

    Like


  27. Normally, high T and high E goes hand in hand. Both sex hormones are expensive to manufacture, and are manufactured from largely the same raw material and intermediates. Sufficiently starved, both boys and girls end up with somewhat similar, androgynous (lack of) features.

    The exact balance between T & E varies from person to person, but it is not like a high reading for one necessitates a low reading for another. For a practical example, see bitch tits on geared bodybuilders.

    Like


  28. on July 27, 2012 at 7:20 pm collapseofman

    Agree with everything but maxim 29. Women aren’t going out of their way to deny sex at all times. They are, however, frequently trying to force you into intimacy. If you can’t get intimate without desexualizing yourself, that’s your fault and not hers. It’s not her fault if your intimate side is decidedly unsexy. This is one of the few times where Hank Moody game bleeds over into Heartiste’s Don Draper shit.

    Like


  29. re: email #5

    They are not his “guy friends”, they are her “guy friends”.

    Answer:
    Meet her for dinner with her “guy friend” and bring along your girl friend.

    Like


    • Doing that will be a guaranteed shit storm. Women feel it’s fine to have tons of guy friends, because “OMGZ they’re like brooooothers to meeee!!!” But as soon as you tell her you’re meeting with a female, no matter how platonic, she’ll flip the hell out and think you want to bang her. Horrendous double standard.

      Like


      • Ya, especially after I told her about the ladder theory and that men cannot possibly be friends with women. Her hamster would be in overdrive knowing that.

        Like


  30. Re: Email #5 / Guy friends who flirt with your girl…

    Make sure your guy friend is actually flirting with your girl. Some guys just like to flirt, especially alpha guys. It’s just their natural behavior.

    What you need to look for is how your guy friends treat you: do they flirt when you are watching? Do they make sure you are around when they come over? Do they do stuff with you, without your girlfriend? If so, your guy friend is on your side, and is just a natural flirt.

    If your guy friend is trying to contact your girl friend on the sly, without your knowledge, or if your guy friend is trying to setup alone time with your girl friend, then that’s a problem. Like a stop hanging out with a guy friend problem. Don’t be an ass about it, just ghost. That is, don’t talk to him about it, just stop seeing him, and make up busy excuses to avoid him. Nothing mean, just white lies.

    Regardless, Heartiste is right. Mercilessly tease your girl, in order to shut it down at the source.

    Like


  31. I disagree strongly with the advice you give in Email #5.

    The last poor chump I cuckolded tried exactly this strategy; when he noticed his girlfriend was spending more time with me than with him, he tried to engage in exactly this kind of playful teasing. It backfired and I fucked her multiple times (and he never found out).

    Now, I’m willing to concede that the failure of strategy on his part might be due to other factors (lack of proper alpha bearing, etc.), but to be honest, I think he fucked up by consciously calling attention to a dynamic of sexual tension between me and his girlfriend that she was otherwise trying to repress or ignore.

    My contention is: this act of dismissive teasing only works with real Alphas because of outcome independence and non-attachment; it’s not a strategy to keep the girl from cheating, it’s a real manifestation of his indifference should she actually go through with it.

    However, Betas who consciously attempt to implement it as a preventative strategy are playing with fire. They’d be better off with an ultimatum, and then dumping the bitch if she fails to comply.

    Like


    • I agree. There’s a lot of indirectness in the advice thrown around here. While I don’t mention the name of this site to women, I’ll basically discuss the concepts with women directly, including, in some circumstances, explaining what would happen if I were cuckolded.

      Like


    • “My contention is: this act of dismissive teasing only works with real Alphas because of outcome independence and non-attachment; it’s not a strategy to keep the girl from cheating, it’s a real manifestation of his indifference should she actually go through with it.”

      This is a very important point. It translates into other parts of game too…the jist is that when you do something to show outcome independence as a “technique”, it doesn’t work and/or backfires. Because doing it as a technique is being outcome dependent. You have to legit not care if you lose the girl and have an abundant mindset for it to work. Thus we promote having more than one girl on the go or at least be out regularly flirting so you keep that abundance mindset.

      Like


  32. on July 27, 2012 at 8:16 pm Flashing Lights

    Follow up question to #5:

    What do you do about HER male friends? Seeing a high t girl now who’s always had lots of guy friends- because they just seem to “get along.”

    Unfortunately she’s also somewhat oblivious to flirting (when they are doing it or when she is doing it). Based on what I’ve seen, she’s not playing at it- she really is oblivious, and doesn’t see how some actions (on her part or their part) can come across as flirtatious (and I know her “guy friends” aren’t as oblivious as her).

    Of course, that’s not going to be an excuse when/if something happens between her and another. Which I don’t want, because, well, I do kind of like her (though her guy friends and her obliviousness do kind of stress me out…)

    How do you frame the male friends who obviously flirt?

    I don’t think she’d cheat on me consciously. Consciously she’s all mine. But her obliviousness ON TOP of a woman’s natural inborn desire for fun and exciting fucks ON TOP of her high t… Well, it certainly makes a guy wonder.

    Before this blog I was a greater beta- was quick on my feet so good with conversations and creating a frame in conversation. Just deep down I was a “nice guy” (feminist mother taught me how to deal with women…) So that means as of now I’ve created a fairly alpha frame already. Would just like some tips on how to frame these situations.

    Like


    • Flashing Lights,

      I’m sorry brother, but please heed these words:

      women, at least the type you would even consider any sort of serious, monogamous relationship wit, do NOT have male friends.

      They have, at best, male acquaintances. Co-workers, schoolmates, etc. Social interaction with these men is limited to these spheres, or at best, large group gatherings with other participants from these spheres.

      The only male “friends” that are permissable for any woman of quality are childhood friends that she knew long before meeting you (“Westermarck Effect”). Male partners of her female friends are in a gray zone; within an allowable context, they really fall under the category of “acquaintance”, but in any case, any “friendly” interaction with them is limited, again, to large group gatherings where the male is tagging along with her female friend.

      Do not — please — get attached to this girl. She is an attention whore. Look up the post on the “Eternal Ingenue” by our venerable blog owner, and then go look up Cluster B Personality Disorders, in particular Histrionic Personality Disorder.

      You say yourself you are a recovering Beta, and to be honest your post oozes with Beta-esque whistling past the graveyard (“I don’t think she’d cheat on me consciously. Consciously she’s all mine.”). Every girl I’ve fucked who was in a relationship had a boyfriend who thought exactly this. Stop deluding yourself about her “obliviousness”; any woman who is a fully functional adult is not oblivious to this kind of interaction, and part of your education is to internalize this fact. She is getting off on the attention, and accumulating possibilities. But because you are her primary relationship, she’s not so stupid as to sabotage your relationship openly.

      Have fun fucking this girl. Drama queens and attention whores offer the best sex. But ditch the pathetic scarcity mentality.

      Like


  33. This country is fucked.
    Too many whores cheating on heroes.
    Too many negroes and chicanos.
    Too much miscegenation and anti-white hate.
    Not enough white babies.

    We’re truly, truly fucked. How the fuck did it happen? What were our fucking fathers thinking? At least half the men of this country are traitors, to their gender, to their race and to their country.

    You need to be a complete moron to be optimistic about the future of the US of A.

    RIP America, Fuck!

    Like


    • on July 27, 2012 at 8:59 pm Days of Broken Arrows

      You left out: Too many decent white women who destroyed their bodies with ugly, low class tattoos.

      Also: Too many white women bloated up like pigs from Cheetos and Domino’s.

      Otherwise, points taken.

      Like


      • on July 27, 2012 at 9:52 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

        lzozozozlooz

        lzozozllzoo

        Like


      • What decent white women? The only place where I’ll go to marry a white woman is in places like Germany or someplace where it’s not feminist.

        Then again, what are the chances of that?

        Like


  34. “Just caught a lesbian checking out a hot chick. Lezbos stare awkwardly like beta males.”

    How should men check out women?

    Like


    • You look at them like someone whom you are going to ask for directions . If you plan on following through, you talk to them like you are asking for directions. The other way is to look at them as if it were the first time you were going to buy dope by looking nervously and hesitating.

      Like


    • Heh, Pippa looks about 44 in that pic.

      Like


    • The study found the part of their body women are most proud of is their eyes (23 per cent), closely followed by their boobs (20 per cent) with their brains coming in third (13 per cent)

      lolz @ brains not as high up on the list as eyes and boobs….have you seen the eyes and boobs of the average british woman?

      Like


  35. Hazzzah, “relief washes over me in an awesome wave:” Patrick Bateman, ‘American Psycho’ Gold Baby nothin’ but gold!

    Like


  36. what to do when your girl says she was asked out by another guy:

    gf: this guy asked me out but i dunno what to say
    you: uh huh what’s he wanna do
    gf: he wants to go to dinner. he’s offering to “sponsor” it
    you: oh baby you gotta go. free food
    gf: nooo!
    you: and bring me some back
    gf: noooooo wayyyy uh uh
    you:
    gf:
    you: you’re going out with him goddammit

    Like


  37. —edit: whoops didn’t realize these the < symbols would be edited out

    gf: -sigh- this guy asked me out but i dunno what to say
    you: -not paying attention- uh huh what’s he wanna do
    gf: he wants to go to dinner. he’s offering to “sponsor” it
    you: oh baby you gotta go. free food
    gf: nooo! – giggles –
    you: and bring me some back – dead serious –
    gf: noooooo wayyyy uh uh – laughs –
    you: – place your order –
    gf: – laughs – – tingles –
    you: you’re going out with him goddammit

    Like


  38. Email #1 girl tells a guy she’s got a “boy” story the response should have been:
    “Save your boy stories for your girlfriends…”

    If she went further with: “” Her, a 23 yr old college grad found out that college professor in her dept, age 31 that she was recently “dating,” had an older girl over.””

    This is clearly some kind of polite shit-test to warn/express fears that an older guy would seduce a younger girl like herself…

    I’ve started gaming girls in their 20’s online. Of the various ones, the one who I’m having a limited degree of success with is one who’s somewhat more mature for her age.

    Others have said things like “you’re too old for me…” after seeing my photo —I’m in the early 40’s but fit.

    My response is: “oh, you’re one of those girls….”

    Or: “You want a boy or a man?” and then not respond to whatever nonsense she comes back with.

    The second learning is calibration. If a girl is telling you this story as some kind of LBJF shit test, then go cocky-funny.

    But recently the younger but more sensitive and serious girl expressed to me this: “A friend of my friend asked me over to his house and didn’t contact me when i said no. some guys think that if you say no right away you’re not interested but that’s not the case.”

    She had said a few times that she’s a “deep thinker” and “very sensitive” and likes “real things and real people”.

    I sensed this was an opportunity to DHV and replied; “”Sounds like he lacks immaturity and an understanding of women. It takes time for some women to get comfortable.”

    Her: “Yes, and some guys i guess have lots of options”

    It’s an interesting insight that shows girls have a greater insight into game than guys.

    After this chat she went from saying she didnt’ feel comfortable meeting up to suggesting we meet up for dinner.

    My recent learning and insight is that some girls do genuinely want to get comfortable before meeting or going further and guys need to know when a girl is LBJFing them and when she’s sending out signals to re-calibrate.

    Another learning is that if you have DHV’d or sparked attraction, a bit of beta-switch game or sensitivity game can help to demonstrate you’re not a player—even though you may be.

    Like


  39. There is something on the horizon that just might un-fuck the American Experiment: A computerized system of whole genome analysis that does a better job of predicting future SAT scores than any other type of information regarding the test-taker.
    For fun; find a lib-prog and tell them this is already being done by a Start up Company in California.. Study their eyes as they try to formulate an answer to your bluff. They will NOT say it is impossible.
    You will realize at that moment that they are the ones who really are transparently bluffing and living in fear because of it…

    Like


  40. AIS
    Leave Ann Coulter alone. She has needs, just like the rest of us.

    Like


  41. Email #1,

    I think you should start focusing on older girls/women (30+). This girl is too young for you – you will probably die 20 years before her and it would be unfair to her (unless you have an amazing personality which will compensate for this). Stop being so greedy and selfish – there are many attractive women over 30 who can still have babies (if that’s what you want). If you are only attracted to very young women (I go kill myself now, but I accept that this could be the main problem of most men), then you really need to change your whole personality, become less needy and rather start thinking about what you can give to this girl – she won’t give you her body for free.

    Like


  42. Email1: Heartiste is dead on. He nailed every point you fucked up in. Don’t feel bad, you’re giving it a go and that’s half the battle. The awkwardness you feel at work now is a big part of why we try not to shit where we eat lol the correct response to “I have a boy story” is “I so completely don’t care lol”. You’re a 38yo man, you have more important shit going on in your life than waiting (overnight!!) to hear about some young chick’s silly drama.

    She mentioned she was seeing an older man, which was good for you until you repeatedly dug your hole deeper and deeper lol. It’s all good man, now you know how subtle a shit-test can be and you’ll be on the lookout in the future. …hopefully lol

    Email2: She wants to fuck. She mentioned the BF to alleviate her guilt and avoid ASD (hey I TOLD him, so anything that happened after that wasn’t MY fault!!).  On top of it she called him her BF instead of Fiancé. Because fiancé might scare you off but BF might not.  “oh but she said she hides the ring because people–” no, shut up lol look at what she does not what she says.

    If you didn’t care about the GI you could bang her brains out till he gets home.  And in fact you wouldn’t even get caught…except OH NO WAIT you gave her your Facebook so now if her guy finds out and rages he and his buddies have your photo, your full name, a list of your friends, possibly your address and phone number and place of employment. STELLAR PLAN! lol

    Don’t ever give your personal info to a girl with a significant other, jeezus lol

    You can still fuck her (her kiss at the end was her signal) but you’re approaching it in a gay way. You are her monkey branch, she’s lining you up. Do you think she’s going to break up and call off a WEDDING and then Facebook message you and say “hey so do you want to get coffee?” when you might have moved on by then?  Hell no. If you were fucking her regularly (ie – the monkey’s hand is gripping the next branch) she could leave him for you.

    But then you’re the guy who broke up a relationship and ruined two lives for a girl that you just want to bang, not marry (I presume).  There are a lot of moral issues for you to consider in what you’re doing.  I have my own code of what situs I’ll pursue and what ones I won’t but I learned that about myself from being in these situs a bunch of times and they’re based on my own personality and beliefs. You need to figure out your code of ethics not just for this girl but for these situations in general.

    If you say “I’ll only cheat with a girl if we won’t get caught cause I don’t wanna get beaten up” I won’t call you a pussy. If you say “I can’t help a girl cheat especially on a fellow GI so I won’t do it” I won’t call you a pussy. But if you say “I DUNNOOOOO maaaaybe?  Umm how about we trade facebooks?  Is this a good idea? I dunno I’m just a plastic bag blowing in the wind, I don’t know anything about myself or have any personal code of conduct because I don’t really know what I’m doing” I’ll call you a pussy.

    Like you wrote “I think we’re probably headed for–“…does that sound like you’re leading the interaction like a man toward your goals?  Or does that sound like you’re just waiting for her to hopefully lead it where you want?  I don’t know anything about army stuff but do you want the guy in charge of your troop saying “alright listen up we’re heading to this position let’s go” or do you want him saying “gee guys I think we might end up over here maybe? What do you think?”

    Email3 (and the guy in this comment section who has the same problem): you’re making them feel like a slut and it’s triggering their Buyer’s Remorse.  Usually the situation comes up from acting cold after sex.  Like banging for a few weeks and then just not contacting her again for a month. Or after your first hookup you “play it cool” and don’t txt her with a “had a good time get home safe babe” after she walks out your door etc.

    Think back over your interactions from the period where you jizzed to where she wanted a no-sex date. Somewhere in there, consistently with all the girls this is happening with, you’re making her feel like a slut that you just want sex from.

    As far as how to handle it follow Heartiste’s advice with the pushing it then freeze-out. Definitely don’t let them stay over.

    If you want to get all “dark triad”, Mystery had a good routine where he’d say “No nothing’s wrong I guess. I’m just attracted to girl’s who aren’t ashamed of their sexuality and I thought you were that type which is why I liked you but now you’re playing this weird “I don’t want to have sex” game and it’s sort of silly to me. I’m just not really feeling like having you stay over tonight, it’s nothing personal I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do. I guess I just thought you were more interested in me beyond friendship is all.” which is a big mind-fuck lol. I’ve used variations of this. Don’t use it unless you have to cause it’s an invite for a lot of drama and a big dramatic conversation.

    Email4: use a shit-ton of lube. Tooooooons. And use a condom so you don’t end up having to read babynames.com

    Email5: what you feel, she feels. If you think they’re a threat, she will too. 90% of guys, especially her orbiters and your bros, have no game. Even if they flirt they’d never be able to take it all the way to sex. Now if she thinks “my BF gets insecure when Bob flirts with me…I wonder why, I thought Bob was a loser beta I just jokingly flirt with but if BF is worried about him he must know something I don’t…I wonder if Bob has a huge cock?  Maybe he’s a player…BF wouldn’t be worried if Bob didn’t bang girls like me all the time…”

    See what I’m sayin?  No jealousy, no insecurity. Treat these guys the way you’d treat your 12 year old brother flirting with your GF.

    Email6: what Heartiste said.

    Email7: that’s a man, baby!

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  43. Apologies if this is a double post..

    http://crunkfeministcollective.wordpress.com/2012/07/02/asking-for-sex-what-do-you-do-when-the-guy-says-no/

    A 30-something ball bricking feminist is wondering why she cant get laid, even when she asks nicely.
    Being a feminist she concludes the patriachy are to blame.
    The comments has orbiting betas, denial the lot, you can almost taste the cheesecake and icecream shes scoffing as she strokes her cat wailing “men dont like me”…

    Tears, its the breakfast of champions.

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  44. […] Chateau Heartiste – Obedience To Authority Game, Holmes Another Lovelorn Beta Male Rampage, Middle Class Quiet Riot, Gay Fitness And Schizophrenia Genes, Reader Mailbag: First Things First […]

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  45. I’m #2. So first of, a thanks to both you and Heartiste for your helpful analysis.

    I agree that if I wanted to, I could have fucked her already. If that’s what I was going for, I wouldn’t have facebooked her. I’d have set up a time and place, and not left her any way of contacting me (cuts down on the flakes that way).

    I won’t fuck another soldiers girl. It’s tough to explain, espescially to this crowd. Basically, I don’t wanna mess up a fellow soldier’s psychological state by fucking his girlfriend. I’ve buried men whom that happened to. I get enough ass that I can afford to turn down sex. This is simply one of those times.

    You’re right about me being a pussy and not taking charge of where the relationship is going. Hurts to admit that, but it’s absolutely true.

    As for where I want it to go. I want this girl and her fiancee to get married and live happily ever after. Yeah I know it’s not gonna happen. But shit.

    In fairy-tale land, I’d keep the girl around to use as a wingman. Walk into *venue* spend a while chatting with hot girl to build social proof, disengage and open target. Or out on a date, hot girl stops by and flirts for a few minutes, date gets instant jealousy and tingles.

    A hot, female wingman who has been well-trained is an absolutely invaluable commodity.

    In reality, I’d like her as a wingman for as long as she’s with her fiancee. But when he inevitably catches her cheating and dumps her ass, I’d like to shoot a load of cum up it.

    And as I said before, thanks quite a bit for the advice and analysis. I appriciate it.

    ~~~ Mike.

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  46. Email #2 sounds like a set up to be a chump to me. Small town. She already has one on the side. You will be the one to take the blame “when” she is exposed. Her bad boy or boys on the side can be hidden behind you. It will be your fault, you will have seduced her, the poor thing. With all the information to pick you out of a crowd. My guess is you have already passed the point of being able to get away clear.

    Occam’s razor says the simplest explanation is best. (ex. Golly, she wants to fuck) When dealing with women the corollary is that the most convoluted, senseless, dramatic, and possibly malicious explanation is best. (ex. No, she wants to fuck you over)

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  47. with the “soldier” situation:
    that is very likely: we all know that soldier husbands make good betas. I think Powell has written about this, in “don’t be a soldier”
    Soldier’s wives are more likely to cheat than other wives.

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  48. Email #4: If the subject is on knocking her up. I have a friend who has 4 kids all conceived with a different type of contraception that failed. The last one was a vasectomy
    Email #5: Keep her away from the guys. Stay away from places they would be. If you can handle it, “accidently” trip and break one of their noses. As long as the GF thinks it was unintentional.

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  49. Email #3 just goes to show you the mindset of most women today – if they have sex with a man, they automatically think they’re entitled to some sort of “payoff”, whether it be a relationship or a new emotional whore. I’ve lost count of the number of girls that’ve tried that BS on me post-sex. This is why it’s SO IMPORTANT that you set the frame early on to be strictly fuck-buddies and not a relationship – because even when you do it right, they’ll still try to put you in that box out of natural habit. I definitely had to learn this the hard way

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