Sometimes The Best Game Is Silence

“Hey, CH. CH!”

Wheeling around and flipping my sunglasses onto the top of my head, I studied the location from where the voice originated. A cute, bob-haired girl stood with a herbster (combination hipster + herb) off to one side. She was smiling. I recognized her, after a moment of assessment. She was a former fling.

“How are you?”

Caught by surprise, I had nothing witty, engaging, or charming to say. I looked her over, ballet sandals to nympho hairstyle, and all I could muster by way of brain activity was a memory of watching her smoke in bed after I had ejaculated inside her.

“I’m good.” Bereft of follow-up, I stood quietly and self-assuredly, staring her right in the eyes, as three bloated seconds ticked by.

Finally she broke the impasse. “This is Jerry.”

I nodded at Jerry, who seemed to be a boyfriend of some sort, but his body language telegraphed eunuch house guard rather than intimate. I found it strange that the first substantive words of her conversation after “hi” were an introduction to some man I never met and couldn’t have cared less about.

“Well, nice to see you. Bye,” she chirped, and teetered off like a child being called home just as a pink flush was revealing itself on her cheeks.

There are moments with ex-flings when you know sparks are inevitable. But these sparks are enfeebled by shared history and time apart, or distasteful circumstances. In that moment, I had nothing to say. Nothing worthwhile at any rate. One can’t be on top of their game all the time. When gamelock happens, your best course of action is to refrain from saying much of anything. Silent game is all you need, then, and it beats bad game. A few exceedingly sparse words, a nod, a slow hand gesture or a couple of seconds of manufactured anticipation, and you leave a girl wanting to know more about what you’ve been up to than she ever did when you were a blabbermouth.

It’ll sound rude to an outside observer. But to her, it’s the most pleasant intrigue she can hope for.


  1. “gamelock”. I like it. nice term. that one might catch on.


  2. There are times that I think silence would be far better that any witty retort. Silence can make the hamster spin and spin and spin.


  3. I think the only time I really smile to a woman anymore is when she says something and I have no response.

    It’s not because I can’t think of anything to say, it’s that I’ve learned that men over-say. Less is more — and since most gals aren’t used to seeing me smile at them, giving a smile to an ex is pretty powerful.


  4. The hardest thing is to keep silence while avoiding looking at her breasts.

    Thankfully, the internet gave us a way of training to avoid that, even though it is “beginner level” only:


  5. You could have said something like: “I’m busy right now, but i’d like to catch up later”. But yeah, when you go blank, it’s better to keep things mysterious.

    I like the fact that she’s settling with a herb. It means that you can fill her mouth with mighty alpha semen and send her home to give him a big kiss.


  6. This advice applies in many–perhaps most–situations in life. Talk less.


    • on October 24, 2011 at 6:57 pm John Norman Howard

      My wise old man used to say, ironically: “Never pass up an opportunity to keep your mouth shut.”


  7. In many situations silence won’t get you the win, but you won’t lose ground by but saying anything either. Pressing when you have nothing good you say because you want to impress a chick is the number 1 way to come off as a spaz. In fact, the hotter chicks are the more they appreciate guys who just act normal around them, without doing stupid try hard stuff to impress.


  8. Exactly. CURT is the word. This leaves the ball in her court where it rapidly deflates along with her ego. She won’t be coming out after half-time!


  9. I call it “Man with No Name” Game. Did Eastwood hypnotize his women with flowing dialogues, scripted to appear unscripted? Hell no, he didn’t bother.


  10. Can you expand on “Silent Game”?


  11. Much of Game
    is counter intuitive

    Hamsters get a bad rap…
    for if you’re nice to a Hamster
    feed it, change it’s litter
    it loves you
    …not so
    with woman


  12. Yet another lesson that the right thing to do is pretty much the exact opposite of what my still very beta brain says to do. I would have jabbered like an idiot. Best to remain silent and just look her (and him) over without saying much of anything.


  13. Why not use the text message reply of “Who is this?” or “Do I know you?”


  14. If one is in a mixed-race relationship and wants to weaken his inclusive fitness, then keep piping up. 🙂

    “Problems with Mixed-Race Families, Marriages and Relationships”


  15. Silence is uber-distilled hamsternip. She loves the hamsternip, she needs the hamsternip, she can’t stand the hamsternip. No idea why, I don’t make the rules guv. One from the same vein as flaking and other disconnects, just let her hamster fire it’s afterburners for a while whilst you chill and enjoy the sounds of silence. When you next see her it’ll be monsoon season.


  16. I love a good awkward silence and having the confidence to let it linger without fumbling to fill it in with nervous gibberish, while maintaining strong, calm body language and eye-contact throughout.

    OT: negs in action. CH, watch Russell Brand relentlessly tease cute pixie Kristen Bell during an interview. It’s funny. Actually he outright insults her, but he’s obviously kidding and leavens the proceedings with one compliment. She looks anywhere from slightly annoyed to expressing desire. Watch how she puts her finger in her mouth.


    • Cocky-Funny at its peak, huh?


    • Russell Brand is a try hard douchebag. Reminds me of Mystery with his stupid dress ups. And wtf is with that hair? If he does well with women it’s clearly in spite of his stupid schtick.


      • You sound bitter. It’s amusing how some guys loathe giving another guy credit where credit is due. I’m sure Brand has had mountains of top quality pussy precisely because of his schtick. You don’t have to like it or try to emulate it, but admit that it works. It’s not difficult.

        Oh, and douchebag is the most overused word on the internet. Shit is so played out.


      • Your comment screams of jealous cock block amoging.

        He’s not all that! And therefore by implication women should be fucking YOU instead!

        As if that strategy is going to work for you.

        Anyone who ever uses the words douchebag or try hard is simply jealous of all that pussy that they are not getting.

        If you could only perceive yourself as others perceive you. You’d realize how twelve years old you sound.


      • on October 25, 2011 at 10:47 am David Rockefeller

        Agree Brand’s a loser. Another Jack Black but a bit better looking.

        Wasn’t there a post here about six months ago, about his wife Katy Perry performing in her hometown and calling out some dude in the audience who had ignored her in high school?

        Now, whenever I hear Brand’s name, I wonder if he knows his wife is fantasizing about her high school crush when she’s fucking him.


      • Simply admit that he’s a threat.
        I would never let a girlfriend go anywhere near Russel Brand (or Mystery or Heartiste for that matter…)


      • You understand the concept of mate protection.

        Dissing the competition just gives them the spotlight.


      • xplop

        “Dissing the competition just gives them the spotlight!”

        In this, You, are teh expert – thanks for all that extra attention. Keep up the good work.




  17. Silence is especially good when you can hold strong unwavering eye-contact.

    You’ll know you are doing it right when they start to blush and break eye-contact downwards.


  18. Wow, the video with Russell Brand is amazing. Just perfect.

    I’m definitely a fan of being silent, letting awkward silences ensue when I don’t have much to say. It beats rambling, that’s for sure.


  19. Great post.

    Part of the effectiveness is the contrast it presents. The girl remembers you as someone who always had something cool to say, something interesting and suddenly there’s nothing.

    No “neg” about herb…no neg about her hair…just silence.

    I’ve been in this situation and when I smile but am not my usual cocky self, it’s a kind of let down that in the girl’s case gets her wondering: “Why was he so weird, is it because of the guy? Do I look different? ” and her hamster starts spinning they way most girls get neurotic.

    Sometimes when I don’t respond to texts or Instant Messages, it evokes the same response…if my game was good or if I had presented myself as someone interesting and cocky and now have nothing to say….


    • Yes, but isn’t the practical advice getting a little impressionistic at this point? If game is your frame, all moves — even beta mimicry! — can be considered an instance of pick-up mastery. “Vulnerability game,” “asshole game,” “direct game,” “indirect game” … the brand starts to dilute.

      The most important piece of testimony is his admission of imperfection, or “gamelock.” “One can’t be on top of [his] game all the time.” The abstract discussions on sites like these tend to misrepresent the importance of dealing with setbacks. In any sport, it’s more important knowing how to lose positively than it is to win, since losing is an inescapable element of any game. We learn far more from our (and other’s) fuck-ups than we do from successes.

      We are prone only to share our wins, or exaggerate mediocre experiences into tall tales, out of ego-puffery and insecurity. The irony is, the masters at the top of their game like CH are best positioned to share their failures, knowing that they have enough cred stored up not to damage their reputation. They can admit to the flaws in the artwork which lend a masterpiece its character, as opposed to the “flawless” schlock of ostensibly “perfect” representations, like a Leonardo original compared to a glossy photoshop.

      Anyway, great music is made in the silences. There is no more jarring “note” than the absence of one. It’s a cliche to say women like the strong silent type, and cliches are generally true. All the wordy chatty game advice forces dozens of techniques to roar through your head in the moment of truth, and our tendency is to kill the bunny rabbit dead dead dead with every weapon we have. But the laconic guy is the true impresario.

      You guys should incorporate zen into game. There’s your book title, Roissy. Zen and Game. Or, Game and Zen. It worked like gangbusters for that hippie fruitcake Robert Pirsig.


      • “We are prone only to share our wins, or exaggerate mediocre experiences into tall tales, out of ego-puffery and insecurity.”

        Except you, Queen B. You don’t even have failures, let alone success. We can’t even give you a score- you’ve never even put on a uniform.

        Get your oxygen tank breathing, adult diaper-ass back in the bleachers, put on your telescope thick glasses and let the managers, coaches, staff and players, play the game. When the ball goes into the bleachers, your bitch ass can wheel over there and get it for us.

        I gracefully opt-out of Queen B’s “we” association.

        Yah, great reply. What brilliant insight. Like 70 years ago when you learned to ride a bike: you learned from your mistakes, right?


    • Agreed. (After a quick bitch slap to Queen B)

      And sometimes that silence is a neg itself.


  20. Kudos to Russell Brand. He’s a sleazy degenerate, but he knows how to snare the ladies.


  21. Silence is good for beginners. Whenever I don’t know what to do, I just keep my mouth shut. Usually works.


  22. on October 24, 2011 at 9:18 pm Cock o'the Walk

    Shame she had to emasculate the herbster like that. You know she had the conversation with him about “saying hi” to an old friend as pretext but all three players understood the interaction for what it was. A meeting of a woman’s former and new male lovers is always a status contest.


    • Yes.

      I’d qualify it a litter further as an ST (shit test) combo. Shit testing her current BF/date and her ex fling/date/BF simultaneously. She’s yearning to validate herself and stroke her ego by seeking positive attention from both men.

      Was in this exact situation 2 months ago (but I was the new guy).I was at bar, ex BF was outside at patio smoking cig. Slut8 comes to me at bar, “I want you to meet Rich, he’s really cool, come outside.”

      Ripp: “No.” [grab ass, turn shoulder, continue grubbin my appetizer]


      • Exactly. This was an attempt for her to show off a new herbster boyfriend to CH. What she didn’t know going in is that CH couldn’t give a shit, and her attempt to boost her ego would fall flat on its face.

        If CH wanted to get her back in rotation, it wouldn’t have taken much effort. The girl wouldn’t have bothered to show off her new boyfriend if she didn’t still have some sort of emotional “hole” (longing for CH) that needed to be filled in before moving on.


  23. “…nympho hairtstyle.”


    I love seeing girls with fellatio-cut hair.


  24. The pregnant pause and expressionless face is gold. A multiple use tactic.

    And IMO a more advanced tactic. Agree with the post in that if you can’t think of something to say, respond with silence. The body language is key here. Expressionless = you don’t give a shit. No sudden shifts in your BL to acknowledge her shit test frame. And this can work as a neg, AMOG, compliance test.

    And I love adding a subtle but stinging “heh, dork” after.

    Her: “hey Ripp how are you!? Haven’t seen you lately! This is my boyfriend, Sphen.”

    Ripp: [very slightly raises head as she interupted my txting,lock eyes] [pregnant pause].

    Her: [face goes from excitement to confusion to embarassment]

    Ripp: “heh” [slowly look back down at my phone] “dork”.


  25. on October 25, 2011 at 9:29 am Corporal Hicks

    Silence means refusing to give your opponent ammunition.

    “Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” – Napoleon


    • Corporal Hicks (Michael Biehn), cool actor.

      Man, I love Aliens. What a great fucking movie. Hudson has to be my favorite (Bill Paxton):

      [drop ship crashes] “game over man, game over!”


  26. So much of game is just not fucking up.


  27. WEAK. CH can’t rationalize his weak game into anything but FAIL. “Silence game” HA.

    Watch and learn, all of you.

    I’d be all, “Sup, toots?” And she’d be all panty moisted and blushing and stammering at the sheer awesomeness of my pose right off the top. And I’d go, “Yo, what’s with the eunuch house guard!” And she’d giggle and shit, kind of feeling sorry for him, and the guy would be like, “WhatEVER dude,” but then I’d be like, “Make your beta ass useful and go fetch us some drinks,” and he’d be all, “No way, asshole, come on honey let’s go,” and she’d be like, “Ummmm I’mma stay with THE KING,” and he’d go, “That’s all right, she’s coming home to me,” and I’d just smirk my au contraire smirk and watch the crushed beta-blocker scurry off. Then we skip the coffee and go back to my crib for some swooping. Or maybe HER crib so the cuckold can watch.

    GAME, set, match. How it’s done, boys.


    • That’s some badass keyboard jockeying.
      You’re improving, King. Next step is to ditch the thesaurus and wear a fuzzy hat. lol.


  28. This behavior will emerge organically from a strong frame. Someone enters into your kingdom, you may send envoys or you may ignore. It is of little consequence in the grand scheme of things.

    Also, I find great pleasure in encountering a girl I have fucked/am fucking with her orbiters in tow. Around this time last year, I was sticking a lizard who was notorious for her stable of beta-bitch-orbiters. I observed two orbiters dutifully pecking and groveling at her feet. Without hesitation, I approached and wrapped my arm around her waist, greeted them with a shit-eating grin and held court. I dominated the conversation and tooled the orbiters. They nervously smiled and oozed supplication. When I had gotten my rocks off, I left as quickly as I had arrived.

    Generally I am a moral person but something about other men being the eunich friends of a broad I am plowing gives me immense satisfaction.


    • “I was sticking a lizard who was notorious for her stable of beta-bitch-orbiters. I observed two orbiters dutifully pecking and groveling at her feet…”

      LOL. Love the animal descriptions. I see this shit so much I can vividly image the “groveling pecking” assholes.

      Peck, Peck Peck, grovel, Peck, shit smile, Peck, grovel grovel.


  29. Great post. I freakin’ LIVE by this principle.

    Once I finally understood that I wasn’t born owning an explanation to anybody, I say as little as possible to women that pique my interest. I never explain a fucking thing when it comes to my dress (cowboy), drink (No.7 Tennessee Sour Mash), music or anything else – I am what I am. I automatically assume that my stock is higher than hers in the sexual market (which it is), so she’s the one who has to keep conversation going, get me talking and keep me interested. Fuck, I’ve even given out cards with no number on them, and when they ask about that I tell them as I’m leaving “if your sportsmanship is equal to my own, you can figure out how to reach me”, or some shit like that (a stunt intended to shake out the chaff, but the jury’s still out). A few find the number and call (and delightfully tell how they figured it out) – most don’t.

    Of course I’ll engage upon her and reveal more self once we’ve more clearly established ourselves (a subsequent scheduled encounter), but in the inception she has to prove to me that she’s worthy of my time – it’s my most valuable commodity.

    I can’t even list how many times I’ve greased the skids of communication with just a few words and a couple of dark smirks. Women love a mystery, they hate routine, and they will chew through a wall to witness drama and be around dudes whose demeanor denotes confident unconventionality at the least and totally unpredictable asshole jerk aloofness at the most.


  30. EastWood game is always a solid plan B, saying less is always more.
    On a side note Heartiste, I don’t know if anyone has mentioned it in the comments yet, but the whole situation on a very basic communication level seems like bob-haired was seeking a form of attention or approval from you by extending a hi and out of left field stranger introduction.
    This type of DHV should be the feedback goal of all alphas.


  31. I’m frequently pretty laconic in general with girls, looking away often, kind of distracted. I sometimes just have nothing much to say. Sometimes this is unconscious, sometimes I’m totally aware I’m doing it and am doing it on purpose because I know what effect it has. To put it another way, because I know what acting ‘the other way’ (over enthusiastic, attentive etc.) does.

    I think I tend to default to having less to say, and I find that sometimes this somewhat surprises some women. When I do say something, particularly something key in an interaction, I may be looking away when I start a sentence and then focus in on them, but with kind of a lazy look in my eye as I finish the sentence. Followed by silence.

    I think the most important thing is, “One can’t be on top of their game all the time.” Being solid and un-phased by the fact that you are kind of off, coupled with a willingness to just be silent, is golden imo. Right on man.


  32. on October 30, 2011 at 2:39 pm Corporal Hicks

    “Never miss an opportunity to keep your mouth shut.” Gold.