Being The Right Kind Of Asshole

Occasionally, an oh-so-sincere skeptical reader will insist that being the jerk women love doesn’t work, because he/she/it saw some guy calling a girl a bitch once, and that guy didn’t get laid.

The height of counter-argument prowess!

As this blogasmic beacon of bounteous love has written before, there is a critical distinction between being a “caring asshole” that signals to women you are desperate for their vaginas, and being an aloof “uncaring asshole” that signals to women you could do without their vaginas, which ironically makes their vaginas feel strong love.

(I will leave aside for another post examination of putative examples to the contrary, such as those supreme assholes like Chris Brown and Mexican drug lords who, full of care, beat their women to pulps yet still enjoy the undying love of their attractive targets of affliction.)

If you are having trouble dissecting the meaning of being an uncaring asshole, think upon the personality quirks that define a man who has inherited (or honed) the suite of Dark Triad traits. He is closest to the manifestation of the ideal uncaring asshole.

Reader Ripp writes:

“The Dark Triad are the component parts of the one overarching attitude that most defines and forges the successful womanizer: overconfidence.”

Agreed, academically. To qualify overconfidence:

The art of exhibiting these qualities is commonly misrepresented by being a deliberate asshole; a ‘caring asshole’. Irrational overconfidence, or ‘cockyness’, doesn’t hit the mark.

Calculated arrogance, effectively demonstrated pre-selection, a refined non-reactive attitude to shit testing and a mysterious self-serving aloofness comprises the “attitude” described above.

Uncalibrated “overconfidence” is try hard. Yielding true overconfidence at the correct moments hits the mark:

“Listen. I don’t know you…and you need to understand. I’m one charming mother fucker.”

This reader has a point. If you have to shout your overconfidence from the rooftops, you have shown the exact opposite: a lack of self-confidence.

But most Dark Triad Dudes are irrationally overconfident, if by irrational we mean that there is very little objective evidence that would buttress a case for their degree of self-regard. The reason they do well with women is because women don’t subconsciously care as much for objective measures verifying a man’s overconfidence as they care for the overconfident attitude itself. And, remember, when we’re talking about sparking vaginal tingles, it’s a woman’s subconscious you want to massage, not her conscious awareness. The subconscious is orders of magnitude more powerful than the conscious, in which the latter pretty much acts as a highly advanced rationalization machine permitting expression of the desires of the subconscious.

Again… it’s the ALPHA ATTITUDE chicks dig. You have the attitude, and you can pretty much roll with any undersized or overstuffed portfolio of objective accomplishments. If you don’t have the attitude, you will be dismayed to find that your curriculum vitae is not helping you get laid as much as the numbers you crunched told you it would help.

Naturally, it’s better to have both aligned — you’ll find it easier to maintain congruence if your objective status matches your signaling status — but if you had to choose one, choose signaling status. It’s way simpler to achieve, and more fun to apply!

I’ll give you a quick glimpse at a minute in the life of a caring asshole, so that you can better appreciate why he fails with women while his equal but different douchehead cousin cleans up with the ladies.

Girl: “I don’t give my number to guys I just met.”

Asshole who cares too much: “Well, fuck you, nobody asked for it.”

Girl: “You just did.”

Asshole who cares too much: “I was kidding. I would never go out with a bitch like you.”

There’s no denying this guy is an asshole, and there’s no denying he would be a miserable failure with women (although, it has to be said, he’d still do better than the typical mincing betabot). So where did his assholery go wrong? For that, we need to contrast him with his uncaring asshole bro.

Girl: “I don’t give my number to guys I just met.”

Asshole who cares thiiiiiiis much: “My heart will go on.”

Girl: “Well, you did seem like you wanted it.”

Asshole who cares thiiiiiiis much: “That was before I got distracted by your sister.”

In every technical aspect, and according to every feminist by-law, this guy would qualify as an asshole. And, yet, there’s just something about him….

wait… phew… I channeled some woman’s hamster there for a minute. Strange experience.

The second guy knows about charm and delivery, and executes with purpose. That purpose being, to reflect, “Goddamn, I am a sexy beast. A stylish sniper of love. Excuse me whilst I make 1080p love to myself.”

He is as far from your typical niceguy as he is from your hothead asshole above who calls women bitches at the drop of a hat. But an asshole he is, and the right kind of asshole, the kind that women, the world over, will always and forevermore fall head over haunches for despite their squid-inking claims to the contrary.





Comments


  1. What’s the best way to increase your self-confidence as a man?

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  2. So basically the difference between a caring and uncaring asshole is if emotions especially from an angry place get involved.

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  3. on November 27, 2012 at 4:36 pm The Latent Sadist

    Youll be accused of being an asshole when you are asserting yourself, and living by your own standards. The “Asshole” label is feminized society encountering a man who refuses to act as others want him to. Consciously or not. Men and women may really hate his blunt way of getting what he wants, but the men will feel an undeniable respect and women will feel an undeniable panty moistening. The point is youre the right kind of asshole… when that label is the result of your indifference to others. When you believe you deserve respect and deserve what you want, you just set yourself apart from timid men…the majority…who stroke womens (and peoples) egos. If youre feeling great and kicking ass and are shocked when women or men try to tear you down…this is why.

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  4. Difference is that in scenario A:

    Player is emotionally invested and displaying that his ego is fragile enough to actual give a fuck about being rejected.

    In scenario B:

    Player treats the bar slut to what she is a disposable cum rag. Well he didn’t get the cum rag who gives a fuck, I’ll just get the next one. No big deal. Away with you sex doll. Next.

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    • “disposable cum rag.” You kiss your mother with that mouth?

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    • I did not like this comment very much

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    • The thing is that if you actually think women are like disposable cum rags, then you might as well stick with actual disposable cum rags. They’re cheaper and less effort.

      Seriously, jerking off is cheaper, easier, faster, safer and more convenient than having sex with women, so if you have *that* little regard for the advantages of woman, it’s the obvious solution.

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      • So wait a sec, why would you give a woman you don’t know in a club or bar some type of value other than sex object?

        You don’t know this woman. Is she your personal daisy buchanan?

        This same girl doesn’t see you initially as nothing other than a loser chump. Just another guy that wants access to her pussy.

        She sees you as disposable and when you don’t come to the battleground with the same mentality you are at a disadvantage.

        It’s a mental trick you dumbfuck. Also good amount of the time some of these women do turn out to be disposable cum rags.

        If you got rejected by just some worthless object would you feel bad about it. Would that object intimate you? No.

        I didn’t know my comments would tickle all these feelings here.

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      • You don’t know this woman. Is she your personal daisy buchanan?

        For the unschooled, that’s Gatsby game.

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    • I don’t know FuriousFerret and have no reason to defend him but I don’t think he meant all women are cum rags

      it seems to me his cum rag comment was about the type of girls who hang out in bars and are looking for one night stands, you know easy girls who ride the cock carousel, not the type of girl you would want in a long term relationship

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    • on November 28, 2012 at 3:17 pm cares too much

      ha! Im calling my gf that next time we shag! her cockpit will melt!

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  5. The right kind of asshole just knows that the number close is a part of compliance so he goes for the makeout or kiss first.

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  6. Anger can be alpha–if it is pro-active, controlled, and scarce. Reactive anger, in contrast, closes the legs faster than AIDS.

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    • agreed. reactive anger is passive-aggressive (i.e. you encounter something that you don’t like and it sets you in the overdrive and sparks emotions you cannot control); proactive anger is a choice – conscious refusal to take any shit because it violates the principles of your reality.

      it’s all about frame control.

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  7. This is off topic, but it confirms what Heartiste has been saying about women cheating just as much as men(maybe more) and how women are more likely to cheat on an Average Frustrated Chump when they are ovulating. It’s on MSN. Enjoy!!!
    http://living.msn/love-relationships/the-heartbeat-blog-post?post=7e3e2a55-5c2d-490b-93f8-1625403f18dc

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  8. Rape game ensures you’re viewed as an uncaring asshole…who can be saved.

    It’s for the children!

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  9. This isn’t just for pickup. This is a good LTR strategy as well.

    The asshole attitude ties in nicely to Commandment XVI. Never be afraid to lose her.

    Be unapologetic about your desires and be ready to walk away from a girl that is not interested. Remember you have better things to do than wait for her to be available. Girls can’t stand it when you don’t pay attention to them.

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    • In my experience, being too indifferent to a girl you’re in a LTR with will eventually lead to her getting sick of your indifference and dumping you while crying “You don’t love me” or “You don’t care about my feelings!”

      As in all things, it’s a matter of having the correct balance between being too needy and too aloof.

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  10. The wrong kind of asshole also constantly insists that he’s an asshole, as if its a badge of honor.

    Any time someone says “I’m kind of an asshole”, I know he’s just a douchebag.

    When you’re the right kind of asshole, OTHER people call you an asshole, and you take it as a compliment, but you don’t actively identify yourself as an asshole.

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    • I know what you mean. Whenever people try so hard to insist that they are a jerk, it usually means that they aren’t. I know a guy who always says “I don’t care, I’m such a jerk haha.” It kind of signifies that they are trying too hard. This guy I know is actually a decent guy- not sure why he wants everyone to think he’s a jerk. But whenever he says it, it just makes him sound like he is over the top trying too hard.

      What about Tucker Max’s- “My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole?” Or at least I think he says something like that.

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  11. Being an asshole seems to be a means not an end. A caring asshole is a beta. Except his anger is explosive, not implosive. He’s just as reactive and starved for approval.

    If you like yourself and don’t need others approval, but are well mannered you would just as popular with women but would get a lot more shit tests and take more time to get the woman in bed (causing some sets to time out).

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  12. How it looks to me is if you get angry or upset that a chick doesn’t dig you…you aren’t any better than a kid who cries because he doesn’t get a toy or a woman who whines about the fact there isn’t any more good men.

    Living with a scarce mentality brings this out.

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  13. Had a recent argument about “Assholes getting women” and here’s what I told the guy:

    “Women don’t love assholes. You can’t take some 26 year old virgin guy and have him go insulting girls expecting to get laid. Rather, guys that women love BECOME assholes. Why?

    Options.

    If you knew 5 girls that wanted to fuck you right now, would you put up with any bullshit from your girlfriend? No, you wouldn’t”

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    • eek. So in your world every man is either an asshole or settling for what he can get?

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      • on November 27, 2012 at 11:13 pm Spoos in August

        Pretty much, yeah.

        Though asshole is not really a term of disapprobation, here.

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      • Dunno ’bout his world, but in the real world, most if not all women want guys whoare at least 6’2, younger than 30, look like Brad Pitt and earn 8 figures.
        They can afford to be assholes.
        Everyone else pretty much has no choice but to settle for what they can get.

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  14. Whatever happens, your toes are still tappin’. That’s the attitude.

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  15. I always find it funny (at least, funny to me) to reply to girls’ shooting me down by faux-beta overreaction.

    Girl “I don’t give my number to guys I just met”

    Me: “Guess it’s time to drink my sorrows away.”

    Of course, this is just my way of saving face. I’ve never actually turned a PU around at this point so take it with a grain of salt.

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  16. Man, I dont think I will ever have that unwavering self confidence, ever since my GF (now ex) cheated on me with my best friend. It seems i am doomed to be a beta forever.

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  17. I think alot of guys transitioning from beta shlubs to assholes will likely end up being the caring asshole in alot of situations. Its ok though just keep being an asshole that is chiefly concerned in any given scenario with how the interaction will benefit you and what you stand to lose/gain. You will undoubtedly find yourself in positions where being a cockbag totally pays off.

    Of course this will increase in number the more females you interact with. Just take care not to overstep your bounds in some places(work, etc) where you could possibly get fired or charged with sumthin.

    Things you can do to increase confidence:

    Lift weights as said….but I would also like to add the use of steroids along with that. Due dilligence is required of course but theres nothing like having neanderthal levels of testosterone pumping through your blood. This is caveman game all the way. Oh and also it keeps your skin glowing and prevents your muscles atrophying due to age and lower test levels. Add in growth hormone too if you really wanna go all out. Anyone see how stallone looks well into his 60’s?

    Learn to fight. Theres nothing that gives you more of an uncaring, aloof, total asshole attitude than when you know you can righteously fuck people up with your bare hands. This actually makes you super laid back, laughing off shit tests and completely diffusing amogs. When you are buff, juiced out, and know how to fight you will be super chill and dominate with your presence.

    Building muscles feeds narcissism which makes your game slicker. When you learn to fight properly in a gym and have that outlet, you will no longer feel the need to “puff up” or display false bravado in public.

    Everything is raw and just YOU.

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  18. This post reminds mwa of the time when I looked at myself in the mirror while banging two broads and was reminded of how hot my biceps looked. If my biceps were women they would be hard bodied 10s.

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  19. What’s the best way to handle girls with boyfriends? Let’s assume the attraction is there and something about her boyfriend comes up during conversation. Is it better to try to avoid talking about her boyfriend or is it better to have the regular chitchat about the boyfriend and then going back to gaming her?

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    • If she brought her boyfriend up at all, for any reason, that is a bad sign.

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      • Liz: For a guy that she isn’t actually attracted to, yes. If she’s attracted to him, it’s a false disqualifier in a reasonable percentage of cases. Hypergamy can definitely rear it’s head.

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      • a bad sign? not at all!

        her: I have a boyfriend
        you: So you’re not married. Good. I’m not breaking any commandments right now. ~look up to the heavens and smile then back at her~

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    • Tell her you’re not interested in her boyfriend and if she has problems choosing to hit the highway. The BF is a big shit test and she’s trying to pigeonhole you as lower status by evoking him.

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    • Assuming the attraction is there and she’s laughing and having fun, I just keep going until she comes out and says “I have a boyfriend.” Then I reply with either “So?” or “I don’t care.”

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    • “He doesn’t play for the Giants does he? Cause I swore that if the Giants won the pennant I’d never steal another girl from one of them…”

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    • You have a bf? Perfect! I have 6 gf’s, and I was considering making you lucky number 7.

      I’m only kidding, Dr.

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    • If she doesn’t mention she has a BF, you’re playing the “surprise, I have a penis!” game. She should mention her BF ASAP, because you’re communicating your sexual intent and her mind goes “o shit we’re gonna fuck this guy, quick mention our BF!!”

      If she doesn’t harp on having one, ie – she mentions him once and then pretty much never again (until you’re closer to sex), she’s just doing it because of her ASD…she’s dissolving herself of responsibility for what happens because hey, she was a good girl, she SAID she had a BF, anything that happens is your fault not hers. So she has to mention him and then she’s free to fuck you.

      But like I say, she’ll probably mention him again closer to sex, or during rapport, but generally she won’t talk about him in a positive light, it’ll be more like “ya my bf and I had a fight last week, I think he’s cheating on me” or “we’re going thru a rocky period” etc. that’s all ASD talking, alleviating her guilt for what’s about to happen.

      In that situ, use this:

      http://www.bristollair.com/2011/outer-game/pua-techniques/boyfriend-destroyer/

      If she harps on having a BF, try the Boyfriend Destroyers. I’ve turned a number of girls who actually like their BFs and had no intention of cheating around with the psychology involved there (yes, a lot of your madonnas can be convinced to cheat with the right approach and amount of time, sorry guys).

      If she harps on having a BF, and it’s in a positive way, AND she shuts down in terms k body language etc, she actually has a BF she likes and you probably won’t get her unless you can come off higher value than him and that’s difficult to do unless he’s in the same room (or set) as you because if he isn’t there he can’t DLV or qualify himself to you and you can’t AMOG him and show her the contrast, so mentally she’ll convince herself her BF is better even if objectively side-by-side that wouldn’t be the case.

      If he’s in the same room or talking to you two, however, there are ways to handle that, but an uncalibrated newbie will end up getting his ass kicked doing it badly lol

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    • You have a boyfriend…well that means you and my girlfriend have something in common.

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      • Would take the average 20something bitch at least 20 seconds to figure out what you just said.

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      • No, no no. That’s too easily “Caring Asshole.” Sounds highly defensive. Same with Neminem’s 6 gfs answer. You’ve got to dismiss the bf as inconsequential. Making a joke about stealing gfs from professional athletes does that – it’s clearly a joke, dismissing the concept of her having a bf as nothing worth a serioius response, indicating you believe he’s fictional, but at the same time establishing that you don’t care if he’s real. Also it allows you to redirect the converstaion to another topic.

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  20. In the interest of fairness, I went to go read some women’s blogs, specifically jezbel, and my god, the trash they are spewing over there. Just look at this one:

    http://jezebel.com/5897750/have-men-really-stopped-liking-blowjobs?tag=genderal-interest

    where 80% of males would rather ‘eat pussy’ then get a blowjob. hahha,

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  21. http://news.ninemsn.com.au/world/2012/11/27/15/02/mexican-beauty-queen-killed-in-gun-battle

    ^-Interesting. 22-yo Mexican beauty queen killed in shootout with Federales, along with her boyfriend, a suspected cartel hitter. Evidence suggests she was firing a weapon herself. Fits the model of female psychology discussed here: pinnacle of female beauty willing to die fighting for mass-murdering boyfriend.

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  22. I found a good way to project an air of confidence while at the same hiding a pretty big flaw I have. For the past couple of months I have been tilting my head up between 2-5 degrees above where I would naturally have it, or literally holding my head up high. I have a babyface so unless I work out constantly I develop a double chin very easily. Not only am I no longer self conscious about lookat but now I essentially look down my nose at every girl I meet, at least the ones shorter than me.

    It’s worked pretty well, I’ve got a date with some 21 yr old California transplant who made fun of me because I missed a spot shaving. Didn’t give a fuuuuccck

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  23. […] Occasionally, an oh-so-sincere skeptical reader will insist that being the jerk women love doesn’t work, because he/she/it saw some guy calling a girl a bitch once, and that guy didn’t get laid. The height of counter-argument prowess! As this blogasmic beacon of bounteous love has written before, there is a critical distinction between being a “caring asshole” that signals to women you are desperate for their vaginas, and being an aloof “uncaring asshole” that signals to women you could do without their vaginas, which ironically makes their vaginas feel strong love. (I will leave aside for another post examination of putative examples to the contrary, such as those supreme assholes like Chris Brown and Mexican drug lords who, full of care, beat their women to pulps yet still enjoy the undying love of their attractive targets of affliction.) If you are having trouble dissecting the meaning of being an uncaring asshole, think upon the personality quirks that define a man who has inherited (or honed) the suite of Dark Triad traits. He is closest to the manifestation of the ideal uncaring asshole. Reader Ripp writes: “The Dark Triad are the component parts of the one overarching attitude that most defines and forges the successful womanizer: overconfidence.” Agreed, Source: Chateau Heartiste   […]

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  24. >Honestly, deep down inside, you really believe Einstein’s brain was not predominantly shaped by his genetic endowment?

    Brains aren’t minds.

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  25. “But most Dark Triad Dudes are irrationally overconfident, if by irrational we mean that there is very little objective evidence that would buttress a case for their degree of self-regard. The reason they do well with women is because women don’t subconsciously care as much for objective measures verifying a man’s overconfidence as they care for the overconfident attitude itself”

    Agreed. And props to a more experienced eye’s critique. CH you’re an asshole. Heh.

    “Irrational” wasn’t the best adjective. However CH still underscored the point- and a very critical and important point for students now introduced to the concept.

    1) Some men will have a genetic predisposition for this attractive trait and it will confuse you. Like men that work wage jobs, drive a motorcycle, have 2 kids from 2 different girlfriends and not a pot to piss in…yet they pull. For example. Try and observe them without being a creepy weirdo. Learn.

    2) If women perceive ‘forced’ asshole behavior, reactive responses and negative frames from men this is NOT attraction spiking overconfidence, but just another variation of AFC/BETA type behavior.

    shit test from smv9:

    Her: “the best first date I went on this guy I met after I broke up with my ex invited me to his place and it was amazing. We did ecstasy all night and had sex everywhere and in his spa. then he made me breakfast in the morning.”

    Ripp: [fleeted eyes half way through her sentence]. [pause]. (condescending tone) “why are you wearing polka dots?”

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  26. Re: The tweet about Einsteins brain: “The shape of Einstein’s brain was very unusual. http://tinyurl.com/d9pdlft That’s surprising. I thought his brain was culturally conditioned? 😉

    I wonder if his brain had an extra large Lobe of Plagiarism?

    If so, would that be due to cultural conditioning, or genetic endowment?

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    • Starets,

      Years ago I read something somewhere about Einstein having gotten a lot of his ideas from other much less known people

      Einstein himself once said ( paraphrasing) that the secret to genius is to hide your
      sources

      do you have any links to anything on that?

      I would be curious to see if there is now more evidence he ” borrowed” a lot of his ideas

      I am not saying he was not a great genius, bu that some of his ideas were not really his ideas…

      very few successful people are not guilty of stealing other people’s ideas

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      • The secret to genius is seeing a connection between two things nobody else saw. The secret to being recongized for your genius is being able to effectively communicate your insight. I think a big part of being able to effectively communicate your insight is being able to develop the concept in your own mind, thinking through the ramification and potential contradictions. Einstein may have gotten basic ideas from others, but he did a lot of work thinking through those ideas and putting them into what you might call usable condition.

        That’s nothing to sneeze at.

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      • Well said Jack Amok and I definitely agree

        but still I would be curious to read about any accusations of plagiarism on Einstein if anyone can point me in that direction

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      • It is not actually proven, and likely not provable. There was a lot of very similar work being done by a lot of big name physicists for quite a while before Einstein. It is hard to believe that he was unaware of the previous work. Yet we are taught that he revolutionized physics, and the world, by pulling relativity de novo out of his “unusual” brain. All things considered, a bit of suspicion seems warranted to me.

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relativity_priority_dispute#Comments_by_Lorentz.2C_Poincar.C3.A9.2C_and_Einstein

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      • thanks for the link, very interesting.

        Obviously some of the ideas were not his or not entirely his

        Also, I am pretty sure I have read somewhere that he only began exploring these types of theories after he began working at the patent office where he had access to a lot of scientific theories and literature that would be cited in the patents requests.

        He was probably both an opportunist and a genius as a regular guy would not have been able to do anything with other people’s ideas because they deal with complicated principles and complicated mathematical formulas.

        this type of injustice ( to the guy who remains unknown and unsuccessful ) is fairly common

        Some of Eddison’s ideas were not his, a lot came from Tesla

        Although not a case of stealing one’s idea ( most likely sold by a poor artist for substenence ), Shakespeare’s work was actually done by someone else

        Hell! the moonwalk was not even invented by Michael Jackson! but he got all the credit…

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      • Moonwalk. Boy howdy you go that right.

        Watch Abbot and Costello’s movie Pardon My Sarong.from 1942. There’s a dance number by a group called Tip, Tap and Toe. Absolutely blew me away. Them cats were doing stuff that made Michael Jackson look like geriatric tree sloth with four left feet.

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      • Re: de novo
        You are confusing special with general relativity. Special relativity would probably have been discovered without Einstein. But general relativity was a substantially different and very original and elaborate theory.

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    • Einstein had no game as a young student… he’d get the occasional date, but invariably at some point during the night the girl would warn him:

      “Don’t you go getting any big ideas, mister!”

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    • About Hasselbeck,

      The view wanted to appear fair and balanced and they needed one conservative on their panel of shireking leftist feminsts

      but they picked a dumb one intentionally

      that way they kill two birds with one stone,

      1- Hasselbeck’s dumbness makes it easy for the four or five other leftist bitches of the view to win in those short debates they have on the view ( and when they have a sizeable adversary such as Ann Coulter they simply drown her brilliant replies by all talking at the same time over her )

      2- Hasselbeck’s dumbness makes all conservatives look bad

      It is obvious she was carefully selected for this combination of being a conservative who happens to be dumb

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  27. This is like most things in pickup: WHAT you’re doing isn’t as important as WHY you’re doing it.

    We tell newbies not to buy girls drinks not because the “what” is wrong, but because “why” they do it is wrong (hoping to keep her around instead of expecting her to stick around, hoping to get her validation/approval, hoping to demonstrate being a Nice Guy, etc). But when you’re advanced and no longer attached to the outcome, you can buy a girl a drink…the “what” is the same but the “why” has changed.

    The guy who says “Hi” hoping to get her validation/approval gets blown out. The guy who says “Hi” and just expects it to work succeeds. The “what” is the same, the “why” is different.

    This concept extends into a LOT of areas of pickup and confuses the fuck out of new guys and anti-gamers/women because they’re generally only looking at the surface level “what”, not the sub-communicated “why” so you get women saying “that would never work on ME!!” and guys saying “bro if you tried that I would kick your ass!!”

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    • It should be noted that this is also why anti-gamers, women, newbies, and keyboard jockeys who don’t go out and approach regularly, attribute looks, money, etc to success with women.

      They see the dweeby needy nerd approach with “Hi” and get blown out, then they see the confident tall good-looking rich guy approach with “Hi” and the girl creams herself, so they go “see??? I knew it, it has to do with looks and money!!” because they don’t understand enough about sub-communication (since they haven’t spent enough time in the field) to understand that the needy desperate-for-validation unconfident nerd is coming from a bad “why” while the rich guy has earned confidence etc from his life of abundance and is coming from an outcome independent “why”…so they have to use the values society has told them are attractive to find an explanation for why the same “what” doesn’t work for both men. Couple that with girls rationalizing it via their hamster and guys rationalizing it as a way to explain their lack of success and avoid putting in the effort required to learn hardcore PUA Game and turn their life around, and you have a whole lot of people who’s RAS is tuned to the wrong frequencies and will keep collecting evidence that solidifies their inexperienced/hamster-based view of the world.

      If they went out more, they would meet extremely confident nerds who can go up to girls and talk about Warcraft and get them, and they’d meet extremely unconfident 6’4″ rich muscled jocks who are insecure and can’t get laid even when a silver platter is dropped in front of them.

      Field is king. Go out and approach. Enough time and experience in the field will shatter your limiting beliefs. Nothing I say is a “theory” or “idea”, it’s a collection of principles backwards engineered from the combined field experience of tens of thousands of PUAs over 10+ years of being in the field approaching 2-7 days a week.

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  28. I’m glad you tackled this subject. As a natural non-alpha it is a confusing subject for me. To be an asshole is easy; to be a charming asshole is anything but. With all its intricacies, sometimes the idea of game doesn’t seem worth it. But it’s easier to persevere when you keep your eye on the prize:

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  29. I got called an “asshole” tonight for my neg to this HB 8 at this bar. It’s a local dive bar – where are the other bartenders and waitresses from other places hang after they’re done.

    I’ve been going enough to know the spot there where everybody crowds around and all the action is. Sure enough, after I was there for 15 minutes, a couple hot waitresses walk in with an obvious LJBF colleague. I befriend him and the lesser of the hot chicks (although she wasn’t too bad herself) right away while semi-ignoring my true target, who ended up sitting next to me as it was the only open seat (knowing where to be and even sit can be half the game right there).

    Anyway, HB8 is this sweet little early 20s latino thing from, it turns out Peru, and while she has been partly Americanized she is still much easier to approach (plus my pre-setup helped).

    After an easy intro by befriending the other two, I step up my game to turn my attention to her now. Conversation goes like this:

    Me (baiting her cause I know she’s not American): “You don’t seem to have the typical uncomfortable uppity entiled-to-everything-I-want American twenty something attitude. You come across much more grounded.” (that was my neg on the spot).

    Her: “Well I’m not from America.” [so easy huh?]

    Me: “Oh Ok” [notice I don’t ask ‘Where are you from’]

    Her: perturbed that I didn’t seem to care “Well, can you guess where I’m from!”

    Me: (knowing she clearly is from a latino American country): “New Jersey?”

    Her: Laughing – ‘No, I’m not from America. It’s another country”

    Me: “Oh – well so is New Jersey. But let me think, hmmm [long pause pretending I’m really thinking about it] “Lebanon.” “Canada” …

    Her: “It’s in South America – I’m Latina silly”

    Me: Jamaica?

    Finally – I guess it on the second try of SA countries – Peru?

    Her: Wow – I didn’t think you’d know.

    Me: get into a conversation about some travels – some of it I’m making up, but know enough to sound interesting.

    We got some nice interaction happening – me never leaning in and not always answering or laughing at things she says. Finally I ask to see her hands because I want to know her 2:4 ratio and I tell her a bit about it [she’s good on the feminine side of things with her ratio – not testosteroned up].

    Her: My nails haven’t been done in a while. Hope you don’t find them gross.

    Me: well I wasn’t going to say anything but since you brought it up, it was a bit more masculine than I expected.

    Her: [with a look of shock – here comes the shit test] You’re an asshole.

    Me: [unflinching] haha – sure ok.

    Her: Really you’re an asshole!

    Me: If you say so [turn my back to her and chat with the bartender for a bit]

    Her: [calming down and Seeking my attention since I didn’t engage it further] Well I only get my nails done for photo shoots and special occasions. [here she is clearly trying to point out that she’s a model]

    Me: [I don’t totally ignore it and she might have done a teen shoot at one time – and possibly some stuff for latina marketing – she is super skinny – but with nice tone – just a petite girl – no runway girl though. But I say this:] “What are you a hand model?”

    Her: Ughh noooo. As if. I do real modeling – well part-time.

    Me: [Enough of my negs as it’s time to lighten it up with the opportunity] Oh you’re a part-time model? Like that song by Flight of the Conchords huh?

    Her: Who’s that?

    Me – [I spend some time really wondering why she;s never heard of them – she is only 23. And talk about the show for a bit. turns into a nice conversation and leads to – ‘well we should get together so I can show you some of their shows’.

    I end up with her number. only a few minutes after she called me an asshole. I may have been able to move for a Vee-Jay-Jay or make-out at least, but I had to go – so number would have to do.

    So I think I got the right kind of asshole down.

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  30. While it is (oddly) true that there are insecure & needy 6’4 muscled jocks, they usually still get the chicks.
    The Peter Jackson clone Warcraft nerd can have all the confidence he wants, the onl;y sex he’ll ever have is with a fat nerdette or with Rosie.

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    • on November 28, 2012 at 2:35 pm Student of scholomance

      It’s gonna be tough because your role is subordinate to hers, at least at the work place.

      I guess the first step is to try to get you and her both away from the office.

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  31. Any way for game principles to work with female supervisors? I’m sure there’s a way it can, but it obviously has to be tailored a bit. perhaps alpha attitude can threaten females in that environment?

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  32. OT: The Golden Girls of Greece — Women of Golden Dawn (Chrysi Avgi):

    http://ethniko.net/blog/greek-girls-women-of-golden-dawn-chrysi-avgi/

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  33. Calling a woman a “bitch” is the domain of the whining beta – not the guy that ends up with a woman.

    Remember – the woman chooses… The fact is that most of the time she has no idea why she chooses the guy she does. More than a few times I’ve had a woman tell me the next morning that I’m the opposite of everything she looks for in a man. Which isn’t a lie – but I am everything (well at least enough of the things) she finds attractive in a man – which is where the confusion comes from. So the beta-guy may be everything she “thinks” she wants, but if he doesn’t have a preponderance of the things that she finds attractive, he isn’t going to land that fish…

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  34. You may want to asterisk* an addendum that an alpha attitude will only carry you so far. If you’re a short, fat, ugly, poor dude who still lives at home @ 30 and no one knows, no amount of irrational self confidence is going to do ANYTHING for you. I hope the alpha attitude isn’t the only thing you’re preaching.

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  35. Here is a complementary piece on the subject of masterdul assholery by the man Krauser http://krauserpua.com/2012/09/25/cheerful-misogyny/

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  36. Eight inches– it ain’t gonna suck itself, babe! Bring da movies!

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  37. […] other guy out there. What I did, though, was keep her hamster in check. Because that is what this whole uncaring asshole vibe is about, you’re keeping her hamster in check. Now, it’s not that you don’t care […]

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  38. Assholes all have something in common: they have a high sense of their own worth.

    The “uncaring” assholes are going about this backwards. They want to cultivate the aloof, “edgy” vibe without understanding that this comes from a proud unshakable core of self esteem.

    If you are a “recovering beta” like me (a.k.a you don’t control your own life, are not self actualized, ect), improve yourself as a man and a human being and stop caring about whatever you are “projecting” or wether or not you are “cool” or other nonsense. It’s painfully transparent to any observant person.

    /drunkpost

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  39. Great post as always

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