Slow Motion Videos Are Comedy Gold

0:57 lmao

0:43 nose smoosh





Comments


  1. Finally!

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  2. A good instinct for theatricality is a good asset for getting the truth into the heads of the distracted masses.

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  3. on July 30, 2010 at 1:15 am Badger Nation

    Speaking of slow motion blowups…

    As long as we’re here at the Chateau, irony rules. A commentor at Dr Helen (drhelen.blogspot.com) who goes by the handle of Joe has repeatedly shown his beta stripes. He issued bromides against game and PUA on the thread discussing McArdle’s two treatises on game. All the regular stuff about how it’s just for bar sluts and “doesn’t work on a cross-section of women.” He opined earlier in the year that (paraphrase) “if a man can’t find a good woman in America today he’s not trying hard enough.”

    So after vehement manginist lecturing of the blog community and white-knight protection of the collective female honor, today he drops this bomb on a thread that had drifted to the topic of sexually-deprived marriages:

    Do I feel bitter? Damn right I do. I didn’t sign up for this. My wife knows this and gives in every now and then. I give in because at least I can pretend it’s a genuine intimacy that I crave. You see, it’s not all just about fucking but that’s what my wife has reduced it too.

    At this point, I’ll stick it out until my last child graduates high school and then move on.

    God knows I’ve tried. I’ve asked her to go to counseling, family members have told her to go to counseling, friends have told her to go. She won’t. Yet, it will still be all my fault in the end; I was the selfish bastard who somehow thought emotional and physical intimacy was important to a relationship. I do wonder if she’ll ever look back and wonder why she didn’t even try.

    So, hell yes, I’m bitter.

    I suppose it’s too much to ask him if he should have learned game?

    Like


  4. on July 30, 2010 at 1:16 am Badger Nation

    “I suppose it’s too much to ask him if he should have learned game?” is my response to his comment, for some reason it didn’t escape the blockquote.

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  5. If he had taken even marginal steps to become a more dominant, in-control husband, he wouldn’t be so damn bitter. Maybe he’ll finally migrate over to the Roissysphere and learn the truth. Or maybe he’ll remain a deluded white knight, pathetically jerking himself off after his wife falls asleep. Either way, I no longer give a damn about him and his cohorts. Suck it.

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  6. on July 30, 2010 at 1:22 am Cannon's Canon

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  7. Lamest post ever for this site.

    C’mon, R… Keep it real.

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  8. i cant see this on my fucking phone.

    roissy and many others here be fucking funny but when the subject of comedy comes up the conservative mindset seems to miss the comedy greats.

    the comedy greats be:

    recent more or less first:

    louis ck
    mitch hedberg
    doug stanhope
    david cross
    bill hicks (my homeboy)
    a few really famous guys like steve martin
    richard pryor
    lenny bruce

    yet every one of those guys, i believe, are/were liberals. why was that?

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  9. AHE
    Dude, get hold of yourself. Comedy is serious business. It is not something you should ever joke about.

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  10. Even hot chicks look disgusting sneezing/farting/shitting. Something to keep in mind removing that pedestal.

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  11. on July 30, 2010 at 1:45 am Badger Nation

    Cannon,

    That was a major fucked moment. Total cockjobbing by the clock operator, the football equivalent of a misandrist divorce-court judge throwing your prenup away and handing your sit-at-home wife every penny you have.

    Like


  12. im way wasted at this point, but after all the white power, traitors in our midst shit i read here yesterday: i dont know what the fuck you guys think is american. whatever it is, it isnt what i think is american. my idol is jimi hendrix. if you dont fucking like the mongrel nature of america, go back to ireland you fucking faggotts. love it or leave it, hippies.

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  13. on July 30, 2010 at 1:46 am Badger Nation

    Doug Stanhope:

    “If marriage didn’t exist, would you invent it? Would you go “Baby, this shit we got together, it’s so good we gotta get the government in on this shit. We can’t just share this commitment ‘tweenst us. We need judges and lawyers involved in this shit, baby. It’s hot!”

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  14. “Dude, get hold of yourself. Comedy is serious business. It is not something you should ever joke about.”

    exactly dude. glad u get me.

    Like


  15. Anyway, i will use this post to gather some advice from Roissy, followers.

    I am your typical social awkward nerd (asperger?), and to be honest i am ok with that, until recently. I consider myself to have a pretty good iq (around 135 maybe, know 2 laguages fluently, english not my original language) and i understand things and patterns easily.

    All this is good until i am faced with a social situation, i would describe my state of mind in these situations as very self aware, i ponder so much what i am going to say, when i speak i tend to be very concrete and laconic, besides in these situations my thinking is very “linear”, as i am not able to convey stories or other things during my conversation, i only answer directly to questions asked to me. My humor is decent, but also is very dry and laconic.

    And also all this is good, because honestly i am not that much into socializing, i mean really i am bored when i am doing it and i would rather prefer this time doing activities that interest me (hiking, biking, running, programming, etc).

    And now the problem with the women, sometimes i feel that i cause initial attraction to them, as i am a slightly average good looking, and act distant at first, however this doesn’t tend to last so much, because as far as they start socializing with me athey soon think i am some kind of retard, and i think i am not, just that i don’t know how to function correctly socially.

    I came to this blog, and it was really an eye opener, now i tend to see many social interactions in terms of game, and i finally tend to identify social patterns, body language, and some female behavior now makes sense.

    However i feel that i need to have some social basic skills in order to apply game, i really am not into having lots of night-stands, the real goal i aspire is to find a good girl and experience a ltr relationship (i have had none), however i know the journey is long.

    So, i ask for opinions or advice about where do i start? books you recommend for basic social skill? or similar experiences, general advice. I am 27 years old, doing my masters, i work freelance also and earn decent to good money, all i really want to know if there is hope for me.

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  16. Made my evening. Thank you.

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  17. Badger Nation:

    Getting over the bitterness in a marriage in which the man becomes mangina is hard.

    It’s all self-hatred.

    Could be one of the rare circumstances where the woman wants it more than the man.

    Like


  18. on July 30, 2010 at 2:55 am Cannon's Canon

    gorbachev you SUPER PHILO-(JEW-LOVER)-JEW-LOVER!!!!!

    you require a second semester of basic GED #’s

    you are an intellectual… let me bless you with a thought experiment…

    if i were to strangle the breathe out of your lungs with my dumb-bell hands… who would be better off???

    *** 200 big blacks, who hate whites

    or

    *** 100 big blacks, who hate whites, and 100 flaccid discards

    Like


  19. on July 30, 2010 at 2:57 am Cannon's Canon

    one magnificent dumbass negro was in the gym this afternoon

    he had a full-blown hip hop posse

    he didn’t squat, but he put 1100 lbs on the leg press… then half bent three sets… his “spotter” yelled at him strategically

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  20. on July 30, 2010 at 2:58 am Cannon's Canon

    WOW!!! 1100 or some such math!!!! bah-looooo-guhhhhh whale!!!

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  21. The strapping black buck really enjoys slappin dat whiteboy upside his haid.

    Just seeing that coon grin so happily makes me wish we’d drag all the blacks (and their descendants) back to Africa and beat them with sticks until they crawled up into trees and stayed there like monkeys.

    Like


  22. on July 30, 2010 at 5:06 am Original JB

    “So, i ask for opinions or advice about where do i start? books you recommend for basic social skill?”

    Learn how to flirt with girls (teasing, hot-n-cold, cocky-funny.) That’s probably the single most important concept to absorb – a specific kind of humor helps to socialize successfully.

    The barebones basics — teasing, kino, shit-test management…

    There are plenty of YouTube videos on game.

    Like


  23. Pro:

    Learn how to speak in public. That will take care of half of your deficiencies. Join ToastMasters.

    Like


  24. on July 30, 2010 at 9:20 am Badger Nation

    Pro,

    Go someplace you don’t normally go, outside your neighborhood, to test your stuff out. You don’t want to expose your day-to-day community to your practice sessions and get a rep.

    Once you’ve built up some skills, THEN go to ye olde corner watering hole, the library or whatever and show yourself off.

    If you are bored by people, it’s easy to affect the “I don’t give a shit” attitude you need to start with. Then it’s a matter of strategic communication of interest. One major problem with socializing is that a lot of people are social attention whores begging for others to engage with them. That problem comes pre-solved for you.

    Speaking of which…

    Xontrarian,

    What the fuck?

    Like


  25. on July 30, 2010 at 9:25 am Badger Nation

    Forgot to put in a sentence…

    “One major problem with socializing is that a lot of people are social attention whores begging for others to engage with them.” So they let the weirdest shit come out of their mouth in a desperate attempt to keep the other person talking to them stroking their ego. It’s like the dinosaur in Toy Story III who wants to be played with…their pleasure sensors are overloaded and they can’t think straight about steering the conversation.

    As long as I’m here, another conversational mistake is stupid, forced tie-ins that try-hard to force rapport and commonality. Things like if she says she is a dentist, you say “oh yeah, my cousin thought about being a dentist…but wound up in business school instead.” Remember the key words are comfort and attraction, so if someone is telling you about themselves, you want to do things to make them to feel comfortable telling you stuff so they will keep bonding. (When YOU have the stage it better be all about attraction.)

    Like


  26. on July 30, 2010 at 9:30 am Badger Nation

    “Getting over the bitterness in a marriage in which the man becomes mangina is hard. It’s all self-hatred.”

    I’ve noticed it’s a huge problem in LTRs. It’s like learned helplessness, guys (and some girls) get mentally disabled by the life restrictions that LTRs require, so they get inured to all sorts of crimes against their souls.

    A medically healthy wife refusing to F her husband should be grounds for fault divorce. It’s cruelty and bait-and-switch, but men and women have both been conditioned to think it’s some kind of wifely prerogative to turn sex off if she’s so inclined and a man is just supposed to keep paying. (In effect, it’s intra-marriage alimony!)

    BTW, who wants to bet Mr Joe’s wife will be rolling in the hay nightly with a bigger, badder dude when they dissolve their marriage?

    Like


  27. I wonder if watching a lot of standup comedy will rub off you and make you a little funnier – or, at the least, give you some material to work with.

    Here’s a list of comedians I’m planning to check out, culled from a list of similar comedians I like.

    Ari Shaffir
    Doug Stanhope
    Russell Peters
    Marky
    Bill Burr
    Louis CK
    Patton Oswalt
    Dimitri Martin
    Glen Wool
    Ricky Gervais podcasts
    Norm McDonald
    Frankie Boyle
    David Cross
    Denny Prokopos
    Katt Williams
    Dave Attell
    Jim Jeffries

    Like


  28. EWWWW on the first video. Does everyone leak so much when sneezing? Gross! I had no idea.

    I wonder what makes sneezing so satisfying? I just love a good achoo.

    [Editor: I choo choo choose…. gbfm!]

    Like


  29. “the comedy greats be:

    recent more or less first:

    louis ck
    mitch hedberg
    doug stanhope
    david cross
    bill hicks (my homeboy)
    a few really famous guys like steve martin
    richard pryor
    lenny bruce

    yet every one of those guys, i believe, are/were liberals. why was that?”

    A good question. My hypothesis: liberals are funnier people, but conservatives have funnier lives. A (social) conservative is a guy who maybe against gay or interracial marriage, against big gov’t and patriotic…only to find out that his son is gay and that his daughter is marrying a black guy while toking weed & raging against the corporate/military machine. That’s just an objectively funny situation, but says nothing about the man’s personal sense of humor which is probably lacking. Liberals are on the other are just smug, do-gooder asswipes who seem willing to laugh at just about anything—even themselves on occasion.

    Funny people vs. Funny lives.

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  30. @Pro,

    An pro boxer doesn’t have to think about his jab. A pro football player doesn’t have to think about how to throw a forward pass. An pro scientist doesn’t have to think about basic math.

    Practice makes effortless.

    When you started your biking as a child it took many attempts to balance, learn this bizarre theory of pedaling in a circle to go forward. You fell down. You couldn’t just read a book about biking and been able to bike. Likewise you couldn’t have just jumped on this strange contraption if you didn’t see the theory in action from someone else. Biking took effort, dedication and work (from a five year old’s view.) Now biking is one of your hobbies.

    You should have learned game years ago, best as a young man. Now at this later stage in life you must repeat that process of learning. Theory and practice.

    Likewise you couldn’t pop-a-wheelie or slides when you first started biking. You had to get to the point where basic biking was effortless before you could achieve the advanced moves.

    Practice makes effortless.

    Pro, which country do you live in?

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  31. yet every one of those guys [comedians], i believe, are/were liberals. why was that?”

    Liberals were funny 20+ years ago because the culture and establishment (for the most part) were conservative.

    Today the scenario is flipping. The establishment is liberal, so righties are funnier. Chateau/CR, for example, is funnier than Feministing. Moldbug, in his own way, is funnier than Dawkins.

    By the way, there have been hillarious anti-liberal comedians, but they were pushed out of the scene. Like Andrew Dice Clay.

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  32. Brad

    If he had taken even marginal steps to become a more dominant, in-control husband, he wouldn’t be so damn bitter.

    That’s generally true yeah.

    But you know some women are just dreck.

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  33. on July 30, 2010 at 11:41 am Cannon's Canon

    wow i drank a bottle of tequila last night to celebrate arizona and watch the jersey shore premiere

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  34. O-face, check.
    Spurting bodily fluids, check.

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  35. its a strange, upside down world in which comedians provide the clearest intellectual thoughts.
    ++++++++++
    still, I like slomos of black dudes slapping white guys. you’ll never see that the other way around – not with the Lakers set to be a championship winning dynasty with those accompanying street celebrations.

    the seesaw has swung. now, iq points are lost here

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  36. on July 30, 2010 at 6:31 pm helene edwards

    needless to say, you can’t judge who’s funnier, Libs or Cons, when one side’s material is ruled out of bounds ab initio The funniest material is the universe of black speech and conduct. Lefty “comedians” are stone presumptive pussies because they daren’t approach the subject. Of course, they manage to live in leafy cushville like anyone else who tastes success, so to they might simply be unaware of the whole trove, though I doubt it.

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  37. on July 30, 2010 at 6:48 pm Tupac Chopra

    AHE:

    louis ck
    mitch hedberg
    doug stanhope
    david cross
    bill hicks (my homeboy)
    a few really famous guys like steve martin
    richard pryor
    lenny bruce

    Good list. I went through a Hicks phase many years ago.

    Lately I’ve been digging on Greg Giraldo — I feel his steez:

    Check it Cannon:
    http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=17344666

    Like


  38. “liberals are funnier people, but conservatives have funnier lives.”

    Perform an experiment to test the validity of this proposition.

    Read the comments at Ace of Spades HQ and the Huffington Post for a month straight.

    You may be surprised by the results.

    Like


  39. One of the funniest stand-up bits ever was Sam Kinison’s highly un-PC riff on the African famine. Liberals can’t really be funny these days ’cause PC isn’t funny. Truth is funny. They have to make up an alternate reality where their premises hold and have the audience buy into it to get laughs. That’s not funny, it’s just pathetic. They’ve infested the culture with lies. I was watching Hot Tub Machine yesterday and the thing basically made me puke. I’d never thought I’d see a paean to liberal cronyism and corruption, but by golly, that’s what it was. These people disgust me.

    Like


  40. on July 31, 2010 at 2:09 pm White Woman

    Ewwww the sneezing one!!! I’m still not getting a flu shot though!

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  41. on July 31, 2010 at 2:15 pm White Woman

    AHE…Ireland will be the same soon. I told you ONLY White/European countries are being inundated. You don’t see Africa being invaded by non-Whites. You don’t see Asia being invaded by non-Asians…they wouldn’t let it happen. But if White people say…whoa…hey…that’s enough for awhile…we’re “racists”.

    Sorry Editor…AHE brought it up again.

    God I can’t wait for you young fools to grow up and get a clue…but then there will be a new crop of young fools to replace you…

    Like


  42. @White Woman: “You don’t see Asia being invaded by non-Asians…they wouldn’t let it happen. But if White people say…whoa…hey…that’s enough for awhile…we’re “racists”.” I suspect that’s because the people who pull the strings on a global level (or the more zealous forces of the Left) see the world through a narrative that says the White Man is the cause of the world’s evils and so are trying to right a wrong, some sort of sins-of-the-father thing. Communism didn’t work, so more furtive methods have been pursued and have proved a lot more successful. That and/or Europe and the US represent most of the developed world, people gravitate there.

    @Original JB: Liberals are regarded as funny because the conservative stereotype is that of the prude, whereas liberals revel in things like ‘irony’. I’m sure there are funny Rightists out there, but they seriously need some representation in comedy world. Humour wins people over – the Left knew this and continues to use it to its advantage, but the Right isn’t used to using comedy as a subversive tool. Fortunately, as you mentioned, PC has become a subject of ridicule, as have its whiney, self-righteous proponents. There’s still a mountain to climb whilst the Left remain ‘better’ at ridicule and social ostracism.

    On the subject, where do people place George Carlin politically?

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  43. Hey Roissey,

    Q: What’s the best thing about twenty nine year olds?

    A: There’s twenty of them!

    Like


  44. I’m a female reader of Roissy’s blog and I have a question for the other women here:

    Do you feel like you can identify a beta guy based on physical appearance, style of dress and body language within a glance/few moments (or any other really short period of time, under 15 mins.)?

    I look at MZ’s photos here and my mind instantly says he’s a BETA TO THE CORE. I look at him and my mind says B-E-T-A. Weakling. He looks like a pansy and wimp (despite his arm and chest muscles). He just LOOKS like a beta! His body language doesn’t show alpha at all. No physical expressions of alpha dominance.

    TBH, I feel like there are people in the world who just LOOK beta…like the stereotypical “sensitive artist” guy who doesn’t exactly radiate alpha masculinity…at least not to me.

    But maybe I’m being really judgmental? I don’t know…

    This is just something that I observe and intuitively sense. Maybe I’m reading the guy’s energy/aura (even if it IS from a photograph).

    Like


  45. @ Mrs. Anonymous:

    I’m not female, but I can imagine females being able to intuitively sense it, and the more intelligent females I know agree with me that one can make these general inferences on first impression. A man’s chosen appearance and ‘aura’ (something that’s more ingrained) will communicate a lot about them. It’s obviously not the whole story about the guy but people have limited time will go on that if they’re to choose who to gravitate towards in a social setting.

    Muscularity may add points to a guy’s aggregate alpha score but it’s not enough. It’s that comfortable-in-one’s-own-skin vibe. That’s why it makes perfect sense that alpha young men dress so camp right now. Fashionable, well-fitting clothes indicate that you’re ‘in the loop’ so to speak and have the cojones to meet the financial strains and risks of following of transient trends. I guess it’s a sign of social intelligence, attentiveness and self-respect. Contrast that with betas (more so the omegas) who you see opting for the socially neutral and less risky jeans & t-shirt combo, combined with awkward gait. That said, one of my best friends dresses that way and even has stereotypically ‘nerdy’ interests, but his natural good looks, SOH and ridiculously strong game always more than compensated for it. I often wonder what women think of him on first sight.

    Like


  46. I love these super slow motion videos from Japan
    http://www.japansugoi.com/wordpress/the-world-of-super-slow-motion-camera/

    Like