Dealing With Nasty Bitches

Every so often, you’ll encounter a really nasty, bitchy piece of work while on your pickup adventures. Her shit tests will be more insulting, her attitude will be meaner, her barbed questions will sound like an interrogation for the benefit of her friends. Through no fault of your own, she’ll come down on you as if you were the ex she’s hated ever since he dumped her over text.

Typically, the advice in these scenarios is simply to smile and say “nice talking to you” and bail. Nothing wrong with that, and it certainly beats lashing out in anger by calling her a bitch in response. But sometimes… sometimes… your balls grow three sizes and you feel a need to exact the pain of a psychological mindfucking. Good news. All it takes is one short line to subvert her bitchy self-satisfaction, like verbal jujitsu.

“Oh, so you’re one of those.”

Spoken without anger, with a completely neutral facial expression, the beauty of this line becomes apparent. It gets under her skin without diminishing your social grace, it chastens her in front of onlookers, and it forces her into your frame.

It also leaves you with multiple options on how to proceed. If she accedes to your frame — “What do you mean by that?” — you have room to maneuver into qualifying her should that be your goal. If she lashes out impotently — “Fuck you!” — you have the option to backturn and leave her looking like a tool.

That’s part of what being an alpha male is about: choice. You are not a pawn in other people’s choices. You choose, that is, you establish the frame, and others follow along or are discarded.


  1. This is a golden oldie, I heard it back in the 60’s.
    And it is not limited to man-woman interactions,
    it can be used on almost anybody that you
    sufficiently disapprove of – but save it for people
    you don’t know and most likely don’t want to know.



  2. I remember when i did an approach in a bar and this young girl was very young and too serious as i was talking to her (my approach was bad and my value was lowering by the second because my beta friends who i refuse to go out with now, where laughing like retards) and then i did the backturn and the girl did a gesture that look liked she was a queen who had 2 minutes of her life wasted and frowned.

    From my friend’s perspective it was like “guy is loser because girl did not give her approval to him”.

    I think it’s important to go out with a friend who has the Alpha male mindset to give you a slap everytime your approach went shit with these bitches and feel bad so that you reframe and be able to continue to approach people in the place you are in.

    Those nasty bitches can drain your energy very quickly and bring you down if you don’t have a strong sense of reality.


  3. Good timing, just a couple of weeks ago I approached a group of low 20 somethings at a table ( 1 solid 8 and the other a 7, and accompanied by their bearded sea walrus harpie, just a Carl’s jr. bacon burger short of 300). The walrus says, “You’ve got some nerve walking in on our convo”. I simply give a slight brow and chin raise and say “hmmm” and angle my back back towards the two 8’s continue on. Sent the hamster wheel into overdrive, and the 8 told her to chill. No bumbling or “sorry, just wanted to talk” like I would’ve been before reading this blog. The execution was subtle but calculated and worked wonders…..


    • Mitch, I just wanted to “Thank You”, for describing so eloquently and hysterically, one of my, please, don’t hold this against me, female counterparts. Bearded Sea Walrus Harpie etc…I am still rolling !


    • “just a Carl’s jr. bacon burger short of 300”


  4. Fuck. I would have had a perfect opportunity to use this just a couple days ago.

    Not that I’d want this girl anyway, since she was completely humorless and we would never get along. But it would still have been so much sweeter than the “Nice talking to you” that I left her with.


  5. I like the backturn. Girls dont know how to handle that kind of brazen nonchalance. One time this really tall amazonian broad ( a feminist for sure) was giving me shit because I am a bouncer and basically trying to act like she was so much smarter, more cultured etc and throw little insults my way. I was banging her cousin and I dont think she liked that.

    So I said ” hey you go to college right? Well I was reading about this guy..his name was umm Freud……..Sigmund Freud. Anyway he talks about this thing called penis envy (enunciated the last two words very slowly) and well you talking just now made me think of that.” (backturn)


    • I don’t think that’s quite what I would call “nonchalance.”

      Don’t get me wrong, depending on the circumstances, it might have been funny, and maybe even effective. But it’s more of a straight up “fuck you” rather than a hamster spinner.


    • Heartiste is really good at coming up with lines that are subtly condescending, but calm and unaffected in a way that helps maintain the upper hand.

      Not so much most of the readers. Your lines just sound angry and bitter, and half the time I think that’s just what you wish you said. When you get mad, she wins.


      • i couldn’t agree more.

        “”Well I was reading about this guy..his name was umm Freud……..Sigmund Freud. nyway he talks about this thing called penis envy (enunciated the last two words very slowly) and well you talking just now made me think of that.” (backturn)””

        seriously, penis envy?

        stick to bouncing… subtlety is not your forte.

        in all likelyhood when you turned around the girls were like what an asshole, you just insulted her with a rather callous insult;

        not an unaffected non-chalant subtley condesenceing neg as the author reccamends


    • on November 20, 2011 at 7:55 pm John Norman Howard

      I’ve always found an aristocratic “There, there.” or “Steady on, luv.” before the back turn works wonders.


  6. hardly OT:

    Lunatic, progress-hating, white-man hating, eco-fascist cunt Naomi Klein has written an extraordinary manifesto that aims at nothing less than the destruction of people like us.

    Read it closely. Either you are with her, or you are against her.



    • Capitalism v. climate? What a world view based on ignorance. These crazies never seen the devastating bad environmental that their beloved commies and totalitarians produce. I think Naomi also had a blissfully crazy pre-2004 election column where she talked about how her phones were bugged and we were in a police state. cuckoo.


      • It’s highly worth reading. She’s one canny Jewess — and she wants us dead.

        No joke.–

        She says some quietly murderous things about “conservative” white males in that piece — extraordinary remarks, really…

        That cunt is dangerous and crazy like a fox. Bad combination.


      • on November 20, 2011 at 7:57 pm John Norman Howard

        Don’t worry…. next time “I was just following orders.” will be considered a valid defense.


      • Like a fox? Fox get hunted to. Same as rabbit, squirrel, deer. I love how the left always fantasizes about what they want to do to the right. They would’t have the guts to start anything.


      • Where’s Hitler when you need him?


      • Agreed she’s a dangerous wench. She directly and unapologetically wrote that it’s not about the issue climate change but all about pushing the left wing progressive anti-white-male agenda, and she used those words (used the word “leftist” proudly, directly said white males needed less power, etc).

        If she were honest, like Ron Paul, she’d declare that there is a Law of the Commons issue regarding real pollution. Considering CO2 release pollution is so bizarre as to make her concerns look like she and “The Nation” are funded as a way to discredit real environmentalist concerns.

        Ron Paul has said that corruption in the form of corporations paying government officials to steal “the commons” is a real problem that has to be stopped and that the OWS people would actually have a point to directly address this while leaving honest corporations, who don’t pay off government officials to steal “the commons”, alone.

        But the left won’t do this. They won’t do this because it would force them to recognize that government is the problem: when a government is so big that corporations can bribe it to their benefit, others suffer.

        Of course, the Law of the Commons problem would still exist without government. If you own a beach home in Malibu, it isn’t fair that someone starts drilling for oil off your beachfront without you being part of the risk/reward aspect of that endeavor.

        The wench, who should never have been given the right to vote, missed a great opportunity to get real and make a real argument.


      • She’s a spoiled girl from Toronto. She’s exhibit A on why game was invented there.

        Though game’s lords of darkness seem to come from DC.


    • This is easily the best single article (it’s a transcript of a lecture actually) I’ve ever read casting serious skeptical doubt on the climate change / anthropomorphic catastrophic global warming eco religion.


  7. Does anyone answer questions sent through the form on the about page?


  8. This is a nice, cutting line which does a few things:

    -Conveys you have choice. Essentially saying that she’s a type that you have no time to deal with

    -Generalizes her. Everyone likes to feel one-of-a-kind. Putting someone in a category (a seemingly undesirable one by your remark) is an instant check.

    And for your own sake, if she’s nasty, just say the line and walk away. This isn’t a play. You actually have no time to put up with bad behaviour, and you have the right to call her on it while you move on to other (pleasant) things.


  9. on November 20, 2011 at 4:09 pm Professor Woland

    “Who lit the fuze on your tampon?”


  10. “But it’s more of a straight up “fuck you” rather than a hamster spinner.”

    Absolutely. This IS about dealing with nasty bitches.


  11. More Sunday funnies from the New York Slimes:

    The picture is instructive.


  12. A link for you:

    I wonder what this empowered independent woman will be naming her cats:


    • Money quote:

      “Models of romance are changing”.



      • From the Feministing article:

        Bennhold’s article concludes that in order to prevent this 21st century dating conundrum and not end up alone with a dried up vagina and 700 cats is to, “Leave the snazzy company car at home on the first date; find your life partner in your 20s, rather than your 30s, before you’ve become too successful. And go after men who draw their confidence from sources other than money, like academics and artists.” This weak and most likely ineffective advice doesn’t really address the true matter at hand which is that models of romance are changing and instead of supporting antiquated ideas of romance that don’t line up to people’s lived realities, we should be supporting and showcasing a new model, one that doesn’t rely on women’s inferiority to men. Trust me, even sad, “I’m not good enough dude,” will come around to this view point.

        Feminism is constructed in the mainstream as a boner killer and is very effective in keeping young women disinterested in it, but in the long-run, feminism actually makes your love life better. And incorporating and prioritizing your own needs into your romantic life means sometimes running the risk of being single for a little while and it means having some standards and it means not settling, but the truth is we have too much to lose any other way.

        Utter self deluding horsehiite.

        Keep telling yourselves that feminists. We don’t want you. For anything more than a pump and dump or short fling, if you’re hot enough, which damn few of you are.


      • “…models of romance are changing and instead of supporting antiquated ideas of romance that don’t line up to people’s lived realities, we should be supporting and showcasing a new model…”

        Sailer’s Law of Female Journalism, in full effect, right there.

        In case you don’t know –
        Sailer’s Law of Female Journalism:
        “The most heartfelt articles by female journalists tend to be demands that social values be overturned in order that, Come the Revolution, the journalist herself will be considered hotter-looking.”


  13. Such a timely post! I met one of the most irritating girls of my life last night. Good God, it was torture. I was visiting with a female friend of mine and it was her friend that came over. Just the three of us talking. Everything out of this girl’s mouth was status whoring. She was Korean, if that means anything.

    This girl loudly interrupts, talks about non stop “hot guys” (who would never touch her…she is a 5 at best) and spent a good 15 minutes talking about her lawyer friend’s silk shirt. I wanted to kick her in the throat but I took the pussy way out because I didn’t want to piss off my friend and I knew I would probably never have to see her again. Eventually I just checked out of the conversation and looked at my phone. She told us all that she wanted to go out and get food and I told her I wasn’t hungry and they should go without me. Than my friend offered to cook and I said “That sounds great!” She got the hint and left.

    What I noticed about her is that one of the first things out of her mouth was how she had an overbearing Mom. When that is how you lead a conversation, you know the crazy is on the way.

    This is my big weakness I’m working on. I’m not confrontational enough in the proper, measured way but I knew that with this girl’s personality she would have blown up and caused a scene. Pathological Narcissistic Twat.


  14. More off-topic news, for the consideration of the Chateau:

    Mothers brawling at schools:

    The state forcing you to medicate your ADHD children or you will be reported to Child Protection Authorities:


  15. “You choose, that is, you establish the frame, and others follow along or are discarded.”

    I like that. That’s been my motto for years now and my life has only improved.


  16. What happens when the line gets used on you?

    [Heartiste: “your dreams come true? yes.]


  17. Might a line also work against a female cockblock? Some time ago I was chatting up a girl in a bar after playing a gig there – I’m a pretty decent musician and apart from decent-but-nothing-special looks, ‘musician game’ is about all I have to work with – and seemed to be making some progress – kino escalation and such – when a girlfriend/roommate of hers entered the bar with some other friends and busted in. After a few interruptions, she succeeded in getting her to join the group of girls she had come in with, and successfully stopped my target from getting back to me. I then tried to approach her again but the other girl told her ‘no, not with him’ and she complied. The other girl just physically blocked me – she was kinda big – of course I could have shoved her aside but it wouldn’t have looked good, especially since the group of people around her and some others were starting to pay attention. I tried to verbally confront her by saying ‘are you her mother or something, to be telling her who she can or can’t talk to?’ And she said something like, ‘yeah well she’s my roommate and I have to protect her from the wrong kind of guys’. I didn’t really know what to say so I said something like ‘i think it’s none of your damn business’ and turned around and left. Any suggestion on how I could have handled this situation better? The girl I was targetting obviously felt more inclined to follow her roommate’s ‘orders’ than to ignore or oppose her directly, but I am still puzzled because I had detected no signs of lack of interest until the cockblock girl busted in. I feel a line like yours might have helped me at least to get out of the situation gracefully, rather than in obvious defeat. Is there anything I might have done to overrule her?


  18. One that I’ve discovered works in a variety of situations is to simply say:


    I discovered this by accident when some girl asked me what I thought of some thing she was wearing.


    Her: what do you mean by that?!!

    If someone’s being a bitch and you keep your cool, look at her and say:

    “Oh, interesting….” and walk away, I think this would have the same zen impact.

    It’s vague enough to cause the hamster to start spinning and it’s also cool enough to demonstrate you’re in control.

    What did you think of that movie?”


    What did you think of my new dress?


    What was your ex like in be?



  19. should be

    “What was your ex like in bed?”



  20. So, what’s the intonation?

    Oh, so you’re one of those.”

    “Oh, so you’re one of those.”

    “Oh, so you’re one of those.”

    “Oh, so you’re one of those.” (flat intonation)

    Those are four different sentences with four different meanings. And people say that English isn’t a tonal language like Mandarin…


    • I’d use flat, as that would be most congruent with the entirety of the frame IMO.

      Disagree that english isn’t a tonal language. All languages are tonal, as it’s a psycological fact that your voice tone comprises ~35% of the total communication frame (body language ~55%, words ~10%).

      This information is all over psycology and NLP books. I’ve see small variances in the #s above but the point remains: tonal is a good portion of the communication pie, and thus how it is applied matters.

      Think of the response “fine”

      Now how many different meanings can you say “fine” with by changing just your voice tonality. Exactly…


    • Second one.



    “WELCOME! I started Formerly Hot after my sudden realization that I was no longer who I’d always been-a pretty girl who navigated the world partially aided by the advantage of her looks. After 30 some odd years, Spanx had found their way into my lingerie drawer, and men who asked me if I “had the time” really just wanted to know the time. Imagine!

    I had crossed a line into strange, uncharted life territory, one in which I no longer felt like me. I joked to friends that I was “formerly hot,” and clearly I struck a nerve. There are many women like me, bitchslapped into a new category of person: adult “tweens,” not quite middle-aged, but no longer our reckless, restless, gravity-defying selves.”


    The author does still look good, but of course, not as fresh and attractive as she did in her 20’s. Give her credit for being honest about that. She’s actually pretty reasonable about the whole thing.

    Fascinating to read about the travails of aging on a woman’s psyche–from a woman’s perspective, particularly from a “formerly hot” girl.


  22. Or you can just not approach her in the first place 🙂


  23. on November 20, 2011 at 9:41 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM)


    i am thinking of legalalay chaning my name 2 GREAT BOOOOOBS 4 MENZ zlzolzlzlozollzllozololzolozl

    WHENEVER i meet a bitchy nbitch bitchch y bitch twictch bitch zlozlzlzolz i buty her a t-shirt: lzolzllzolz

    so far i have sold many shirts but my profit is still zero as i do not mark them up and sell at cost!! zlzolzloz

    does someone have ben bernanke or tucker max rhymes with godlman sax phone number so i can call them and eget expeetrt adveice on how to turne n a profot for the chirtsmas christ masss christ our lord and svaior seasosnsnsosn zlolzlzloozlzl

    i wonder if tucker max whyeems siwth godlman sax and ebene eebernanke celebratet christsimsans by butthexeing or sectrrelyt taoing buttehx klzozozozlzllzozoz

    instead of singinging “oh christmas tree oh christsmas tree, how lovely are your branches,” they sing, “butthexual butthexual, how lovey are butt dances zlzozlzllzlzlzlzlzozoz”

    try siniging it yourself! it can be good family fun! good fed ufneded beitehxual fmaily fun! zlozlzlzlzlzl just beofr eyour wife takses your ass to divrorce courth and buthexes you ass in didvroceoo ocurtststs zzz lzozllolzol

    can you imagine tucker max and ben bernakkeke siting aorund a piano celebrating anotehr year of beutehixnxixtinug wot iwthe editor in cheieif prociclckaisial paington at sisnomm sosodom and scheistserzz lzozllzo with cahrlotte allen reporting on it for the wekely astanddtdhdt?

    silent night, butthexual night, all is tight, da lube is rightz lzozozllzllolz

    i have no gift that’s fit to give a king
    par rump um pump by bum lzoozlllozozozoozloolzoo


  24. No dick for you! Bow at my ballz, beyatch!


  25. Or just announce in a loud voice for all to hear.

    “What do you mean two hundred per hour!”

    and walk away.


  26. If a girl laughs spitefully at you, is it a shit-test?


  27. @doubledutch… it would totally work with a cockblock…

    It sounds to me that what happened was:

    1. Things were going great
    2. Cockblocking GF steps in
    3. You react poorly to Cockblocking GF
    4. Target’s attraction plummets

    Shit tests are how a woman sees what you are made of. If her GF does it for her, that is helping her out. A female isn’t going to feel merciful towards you just because you failed someone ELSE’S shit test.

    Next time, don’t get upset. Genuinely get the feeling in your body that you have something better to put your focus on for a while. Don’t act butthurt, and don’t try to beat off the cockblocker… if you had done what Heartiste recommends here, then the target would have to chase you. If she would not chase you a little after that then it is her loss, because you’ve been talking to a LOT of fine women on this night, true?


  28. Does Ghengis Khan think “Is she shit testing me”?

    No because he’s already done plowing that and wondering whether or not to kill it.

    To Ghengis Khan, the entire world is a shit test and he conquers it accordingly.

    Comfort is death.

    Your ancestors didn’t die young because of disease. They died because they were at constant war. They were not comfortable.

    Ghengis Khan does not use pickup lines.


  29. I like playing political games with nasty bitches, like turning the whole group against them.

    A few weeks ago, I was with my gf at one of my buddies place. We were a mixed group of 3 guys, 3 girls, including us. One of the guys was engaged, one of the girls was single.

    The single chick was a bitchy piece of work, probably a feminist.

    Anyway, at some point, I told my gf to go get me a beer (in a mildly authoritative tone, thanks chateau).
    And then I heard: “Who do you think you are?”.

    The single bitch turned out to be a fembot indeed. I was already annoyed by her bitchiness, so it was easy to quickly alpha up.

    I said: “I am her man. And she loves doing me favors. Isn’t that right; GF?”

    GF: “…that’s right. I’ll be right back” (good girl)

    Me (adressing the fembot, with a very serious tone): “I’m curious though about your reaction. Pretty unusual to me. I’m sure no one was bothered except you”

    Fembot: “Yes, but…”

    Me (interrupting her, addressing the others, I was ON): “Did it bother you? B.?”

    B.: “Nope, I’m cool…”

    Me (with flirtatious eyes, addressing B.’s gf, S.): “S, did it really bother you?”

    S: “Nooo” (she likes me)

    … (the other guy was cool)

    Me (addressing the fembot, in a mildly authoritative tone, thanks chateau): “That’s 5 to 1. End of Discussion”

    I quickly interrupted eye contact and looked away. But I felt smoke coming out of her ears… for a while, and when she sucked it up, she was suddenly more girly, spending the rest of the evening trying to qualify herself to me… Beautiful thing.

    Granted, this is less adapted to most pickup situations than “You’re one of those”. BUT, I still remember the blowjob that my gf gave me that night, and I’m sure I can bag the fembot if we ever meet again.


    • Tight. Love that story.

      Deprogramming fembots is a lot of work, and usually fails, when approached rationally. Do it naturally, as an alpha male, and it works with a lot less energy expenditure.


      • +1 this^^^

        I’d say you can never do it rationally as, women neither think nor argue rationally after all. But do it with your alpha-jitsu and it’s amazing to watch a fembot bitch melt.

        The biggest problem I’ve had in these situations is the beta white knight, mangina riding to the fembot’s aid.


    • Well done brother. Way to claim your place as a man instead of losing ground in a drawn out logical argument


    • “mildly authoritative tone”

      Where on the blog does it talk that? I can’t find it thanks


      • Thanks guys.

        “mildly authoritative tone””Where on the blog does it talk that?”

        I was more referring to the general teachings of the Chateau. You know, being more assertive, more dominant… Not any post in particular.
        I needed the chateau treatment to finally understand that chicks dig power, and act accordingly.


    • This is actually related to another post that R/H posted. Women are more likely to find their morality among the group than men. Since you displayed the morality of the group to her, you changed her mind.


  30. This (plus “…interesting,” which is what my boss used to say if you said something that blew his mind) goes up there with “it’s complicated” and “bring the movies.”


  31. “Any suggestion on how I could have handled this situation better?”

    -“Really, has she made mistakes with guys before?”

    -“Dear, I think she’s old enough to make her own judgments.”

    -“How would you know what the wrong type of guy looks like?”

    “but I am still puzzled because I had detected no signs of lack of interest until the cockblock girl busted in.”

    That’s how a lot of cockblocks work, they just break in of their own volition without any coordination with the target, and the girl just follows her lead because she’s of weak mind and like Charlie Sheen in Platoon is caught between two forces in a battle for her heart and poon.


  32. I feel like I wrote this post. I just dealt with this last week and I respond exactly as described:

    “Spoken without anger, with a completely neutral facial expression, the beauty of this line becomes apparent. It gets under her skin without diminishing your social grace, it chastens her in front of onlookers, and it forces her into your frame.”

    This is literally 90% of it as non-verbal communication (your body language, voice tonality and components thereof) is your frame and the words are ~10%.

    From what I see in the field this is more of an advanced reaction as most men can’t handle this. This type of response demands very tight control of your own body language and an almost “forced calmness”.

    For example this attractive soft 8, young, ~21yrs, launched a pretty cunty volley of shit test insults regarding my accesories I was wearing at the time. I was already talking to her over the back of my shoulder blade, with no eye contact. Immediately after her shit test insult my reaction was awesome:

    [Pregant pause]
    [Slight turned torso to face her, but left legs almost 180 degrees in opposite]
    [Lightly pinched her squised tummy blubber (she was sitting down on bar stool) ]
    Calmly whispered as I locked focus on her eyes “lay off the cheeseburgers”
    [Smoothly rolled off]

    She jumps up “FUCK YOU!!!” in a shrieking voice whilst rocking the table, startling her beta guy friend in unison with a screeching back of her stool.

    I was so smooth and fluid with my mechanics that I was already one leg around the corner with a full back turned toward her.

    She looked like an idiot. About 5min later the bartender came out to the pation where I was on her smoke break and asked what happened, I told her what I said and she laughed her ass off.

    One more thing: If I feel a scud missile of shit test insulting coming on I usually pick out a facial feature or body feature the target will be insecure of, and that is my situational response. However I never launch unless she strikes first. But my frame is always the same as above, just the words are interchangeable.

    Gentlemen this works, even in a mixed set because you can whisper this to her.


  33. such as something along the lines of a calm and controlled line of questioning along the lines of what kind of man the bitch could expect to get and what kind of man she thought he was.

    [Heartiste: Are you serious? This is a horrible answer. You’re going to stand there and calmly ask a bitch a series of questions as if she were a panelist on Crossfire? No way, jose. Quippy one-liners are the way to go. “oh, so you’re one of those” is the exact OPPOSITE of bitter-sounding, especially if you say it without any inflection. A short but cutting line like that will rev her hamster faster than an interrogation.]

    Amusement instead of anger would have gotten you further. And, since the bitch probably only has a year of two of being attractive to men left in her life, amusement is easy for a man to feel who knows how fast women age.

    A paid musician is quasi representing the place of business so you’d have less power to confront a bitch than a regular customer would, depending on how good you are with the management.

    I’ve always said that bar managers in the USA should have an open anti-bitch policy where guys can report what they feel are unreasonable guests who lend an anti-male atmosphere to the scene and the manager can officiate. The results could be often enough in the female’s favor, where she’s given the benefit of the doubt, but the fact that the manager would officiate and decide would be enough to infuriate local feminists and change a bar’s atmosphere.

    But, until men, and PUAs in particular, recognize that certain anti-male American club cultures need to be changed by the club managers themselves, change won’t happen.

    Men have to stop patronizing clubs that promote bitchery. Nonstop loud music does this. DJs do this on purpose.

    It’s already been discussed here that plenty of club employees like to foster an atmosphere where they, DJ’s bartenders and bouncers, get the best women while the male guests end up just footing the bill for the whole scene like chumps, while never being able to make their case for having status because of all the loud music.

    It’s like the insecure bouncers, DJ’s and bartenders don’t want the male competition to be heard long enough to establish a level of status above their own.


    • The calm & controlled line of questioning can work, in terms of getting someone to 180 their behavior. Tom Cruise demo’s it here, check the way the prankster pretty much shits a brick. Cruise is staying calm and simply putting massive massive social pressure on the guy:

      The vast majority of people can’t handle social pressure so they become kids caught with their hand in the cookie jar. I’ve used this style of reaction on bitchy cockblock girls and on AMOGs who tool me.

      “Why are you being so rude to me? I’ve been nothing but friendly to you. Your friend and I were having a fun conversation and you’ve come over attacking me for no reason. That’s not cool. Why are you ruining your friend’s night? Why are you so hostile tonight?”

      Usually the person’ll stammer and feel akward. You’re not saying it in a butt-hurt way, just in a calm “this isn’t how people behave, you know that, come on now” slightly scolding manner.

      The trick from there that Cruise doesnt do in that video (cause wtf does he care about making friends with the guy) is once you pile the social pressure on (for cockblock girls I’ll get her friends on my side, for AMOGs I’ll get the crowd around us or the girls he’s trying to take from me on my side) you let it get to a point where it’s clearly super uncomfortable for the person…and then totally remove it by making a friendly gesture and giving them an out.

      “it’s cool, I get it, we’re in a bar and you thought I was one of those creeper guys. You’re just protecting your friend. But I’m not one of those guys, and I think it’s cool that you’re looking out for your friend. Let me guess, you dragged her out tonight hey? You seem like the bar star of the group, I saw you busting moves on the dance floor earlier 😉 your friend and I like eachother, is it cool with you if we keep chatting?”

      Or for an AMOG dude “it’s cool man, I’m not mad im just messin with ya. You’re a funny guy lol we’re cool man, what’s your name? (hand out for a handshake)”

      The social pressure is SO akward for them that they’ll take the out you’re giving them because it alleviates the pressure.

      Field-tested, many many times.

      This isn’t the best approach, I prefer a quick witty line, I’m just saying its one that can work with the right frame and in situations where the person has no interest in playing back and forth with your wit.


      • i’m not a huge fan of tom cruise, but he wins this one. notice how he grabs the prankster’s hand so that when he tries to pull away, he can’t. ‘nope, you don’t get to squirt me in the face and then leave.’ he’s forced to stay in cruise’s frame and answer his question about why he would do such a thing….and he’s got nothing to say.

        after he allows the guy to leave, cruise is just like ‘yeah, some little punk child tried to get a rise out of me, but whatever.’


    • The bar scene won’t change. Men compete against eachother for the hottest women. No one cares if you don’t get a chance to prove your worth…you just have to get better at gaming in that environment or do day game instead.

      Nightlife caters to hot girls. The club with hundreds of hot women will make more money off losers buying those girls drinks and will have more lineups of people dying to get in than the “pro-male” sausage-fest club. Hot girls are top priority. You could be a doctor who’s saved thousands of lives but at the door to the nightclub the chick with the fake tits and her ass hanging out of her minidress is getting in first. Just accept it and learn to work around it.

      For really loud enviros use more physical game instead of verbal. Grabbing, pulling, bringing them in close to hear you, etc. if that’s not your style go to a quieter bar.

      In any club there are spots where the music isn’t as loud. Learn to spot these areas as soon as you enter a bar for the first time. Spots like behind a speaker instead of in front of them, or areas near the bathroom where the music isn’t as loud, or booth/couch areas where there aren’t as many speakers, sometimes there’s an upstairs or downstairs with quieter music, or an outdoor patio or smoking area. Try lounges instead of nightclubs they tend to be quieter (but the crowds are more cliquish). Avoid bars with live bands, the sound is usually cranked full blast in those and it’s impossible to talk or hear.

      A nightclub isn’t a place where every guy prints out his resume and hands it to each hot girl to make his case so they can choose who the optimal suitor is. That’s a pipe dream lol don’t wait for that to happen, just adapt your skills.


    • Note to Heartiste: The comment system was supposed to put the comment you just criticized below the comment of the musician who made a relatively bitter comment and a walk away in response to a bitch cockblocking him from her roommate.

      I hadn’t meant to say your “Oh, so you’re one of those” suggestion sounded bitter. I think that’s a great line. It looked like I was criticizing your line only because the comment system isn’t working and the above looked like a stand-alone comment.

      YaReally’s Tom Cruise video does validate my point that you can win with a “Why would you do that. I was nothing but nice to you and your friends” line of questioning (if done with an authoritative high status attitude) that gives her a chance to apologize. I’ve field tested it and it does work because it forces her to accept the man’s humanity and the frame that he’s not the type to be treated that way.


  34. That’s part of what being an alpha male is about: choice. You are not a pawn in other people’s choices. You choose, that is, you establish the frame, and others follow along or are discarded.

    That is dead on the money. With every approach, shit test, and evil bitch you encounter, its key to remember that this is your world and they’re just living in it. Such a big part of holding your frame that people over look is removing other people from it.

    The back turn response to insult? Solid. If you do it slowly – like you would if your broke eye contact – giving the appearance that you’re turning away from her because you’re bored with her childishness, it will have a huge effect on her and her friends and convey an aloof and unaffected demeanor.

    Good post! I actually have one that I’m going to post around ten o’clock that’s all about haters. Feel free to check it out.


  35. Post needed on the following issue:

    Demi Moore forced her young husband to sign a prenup before marrying him six years ago.

    Now she wants the courts to forget that as she goes for a $290,000,000 settlement from him (he pays her).

    The divorce was expected. This type of hypocrisy? Yes, it was expected too.

    Even her friends admit that she wants this as revenge for being replaced by younger women.

    Didn’t she know that everyone was predicting this? To think, she enlisted her husband in a campaign to say “real men don’t buy women” and stop “sex trafficking” knowing that her real fear was the idea that all men, no matter how old, ugly or beta, could still seek outlets for sex with much younger women than herself.

    Notice how the media is, relatively speaking, not reporting much on this.


  36. Question; what happens if the clever “Oh, so you’re one of those” receives a smug, triumphant “Yeah, I am” in response?

    [Heartiste: Then it’s game on. If a girl answers like that, it means she’s open to testing the waters with you. If she’s just being snotty, and you don’t want anything more to do with her, say “your boyfriend is a lucky guy”, which sets her up to say one of two things in response: “he is”, which will sound try-hard and make her look lame, or “i don’t have a bf”, to which you can reply “no surprise there”.]


  37. on November 21, 2011 at 11:17 am Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM)

    Who pays for student loan debts at divorce?

    “let’s say while you were married you incurred $100,000 in student loan debt to become a lawyer, and then you worked during the marriage for many years as a lawyer, making better income than you would have if you hadn’t gone to law school. In this case it is likely the Court will find that the community (husband and wife during marriage) benefitted from the education, and therefore at divorce each of you will be responsible for half of the remaining student loan debt.”


    after bernannnnnke butthexes your wife with student lons in her law shcool (wher etehy dont teahc law but bittehxual entitlelelemenets lzozlzl), he then butthexes you with the student lons after your wife leaves you to go back to the asscocking carosouels she rode in college lzlzlzozozlozzozozo

    lzozlzolzo omg zlzozozol


  38. Turn to her friends and say “Is she always like this?”

    Works great.

    [Heartiste: Yep that’s a classic, and works well when she has friends listening.]


  39. It also leaves you with multiple options on how to proceed. If she accedes to your frame — “What do you mean by that?” — you have room to maneuver into qualifying her should that be your goal. If she lashes out impotently — “Fuck you!” — you have the option to backturn and leave her looking like a tool.

    Say she responds with the latter (“Fuck You!”) and you do the backturn, is it better to just simply not say anything and backturn or should you make a smug remark (like “heh..”) and then do the backturn?

    I guess what I am getting at is what gives the maximum burn without giving up anything?

    [Heartiste: Don’t mutter anything. Just a backturn, accompanied by a knowing smirk, if you wish. The maximum burn you can give a bitch is to be seen flirting with another, friendlier, hotter girl.]


    • Just a backturn, accompanied by a knowing smirk, if you wish.

      If you absolutely cannot keep your face neutral go for the smirk. If you show even the tiniest hint of anger, or something that we can easily misconstrue as anger, then you have lost. A smirk can be highly effective as there is not a whole lot worse than thinking a man is laughing at us and think us stupid.


    • Kool. Thanks.


  40. New graphic is more readable… but if you want the search engines to pick up “where pretty lies perish” you’re going to have to put it in text somewhere.


  41. I like the new banner. I offer two suggestions:

    1) The red is hard to see and if any of your readers are colorblind they won’t see the “lies” at all.

    2) Could you replace the link to your homepage that was on the “Chateau Heartiste” originally? Just a time saver.



    From the article:

    “His colleagues are so afraid of being called “neurosexists” that they’ve refused to study or acknowledge differences. This anxiety about lending credence to sexism was manifest on the panel, as three of the presenters repeatedly emphasized similarities and downplayed differences. Afterward, they were challenged by two female scientists in the audience who called the aversion to studying innate differences anti-scientific and an impediment to understanding mental illness in women. The exchange, in which one panelist repeatedly portrayed sex-difference research as a waste of time, confirmed the problem: Fear of sexism has produced a bias against conceding sex differences, which gets in the way of frank discussion and investigation.”

    Dogma – lots of it.


  43. My personal favs:

    “Relax, cupcake.”

    (If done incorrectly [or if she’s just going for the bitch of the year award] this can seem confrontational so you have to be in a lighthearted mood and not be taking anything she says seriously. In other words, say it like you’d say it to a kid sister or a girl you’ve already banged. Nothing should be riding on the outcome.)


    Smirking and walking away without saying anything. If you walk away and join a hot girl, even better.


  44. on November 21, 2011 at 3:43 pm Too Smart To Fail

    I like the short and simple backturn dejection, but sometimes you will come across a woman who requires full artillery onslaught.

    A woman was sitting by her lonesome self outside a nightclub one night playing on her phone, I thought she would be open for convo and I opened her. To my dismay, she was rude and a 6 at best.

    I told her not to be dissapointed with her $10 supercut’s hair-do, but she wasn’t fooling anyone with her Ross dress and fake Jimmy Choo’s pumps, but not to worry, no guys are checking you out anyways!

    No response from the Bitch, she started crying, got up and left!


  45. Speaking of…

    “Virginia Woman Faces 50 Years Behind Bars For Decapitating Piglet,” CBS Washington, 21 Nov 2011

    “Ashley Fowler, 22, was breaking up with the piglet’s owner… [his family] had to euthanize another pig who Fowler admitted to stabbing in the same incident. … [he] started raising them on the family farm as therapy after he suffered a head injury.”

    But he “made” her do it by not giving her enough ‘gina tingle, right girls?


  46. True.

    Another good response (perhaps a tier lower than the one you offered) is “you’re not cute enough to say that” then backturn.


  47. The problem w/this blog is girls check it out too and they look 4 bhaviors promoted hear.


    • No, this is not a problem. We were incredibly good at detecting liars before we saw this blog. It’s hard-wired.


    • That’s only a problem to the degree that behavior is learned as opposed to hard wired. I’m noticing that a lot of what heartiste is saying hits on an emotional rather than intellectual level.

      What the hell does “Oh you’re one of those” mean anyway? If it wasn’t for the unconscious emotional response to the implication of that statement, a sane response would be to laugh with amusement or turn away in total unfeigned bored indifference.

      Of course, women (and most men) are not sane, they are dominated by their feelings and emotions. It is also a simple truth that a girl acting like a bitch genuinely wants to be put into her place by a strong alpha male that can firmly hold her down and … um, anyway…


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