The Alpha Male Gifts That Women Love

One time, I recorded myself singing a song I wrote for a girl. I used a hand-held recorder, so the quality wasn’t good. You can hear a dog barking in the background and rain falling outside on the patio. We eventually broke up from intractable circumstances, but keep in friendly contact occasionally, and she tells me that to this day my recording is the only item of love she has from any man that she refuses to discard.

Cost of this gift to me: zero dollars.

Psychological value of this gift to both me and her: priceless.

Ability to leverage this gift against future girlfriends who know about it: infinity priceless.

The alpha male gifts that women love are never what Kay Jewelers, Zales or VisaMastercard tell you they are. The gifts women love the most are not those gifts that by virtue (or vice) of their cost demonstrate the extent of your beta provider resource pool. No, the gifts women love the most are those gifts that demonstrate the personality traits of the alpha male, a man with romance in his heart despite carrying the burden of multitudinous options with women in his groin.





Comments


    • OK, a 3-some with a busty blonde $600 a night whore trumps just about any other gift for the dude in your life, ladies. Just sayin’.

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      • Except 34B is hardly busty by anyone’s standards.

        [Heartiste: Women obsess too much over boob size. A firm ass and young, pretty face are more attractive to men than huge knockers, if such a choice had to be made. Big boobs eventually sag and become pendulous udders. And fat chicks love to flaunt their bloated funbags to distract from the fact the rest of their bodies are disgusting, mistakenly thbinking that boob size is all that matters to men, when in fact boob size plus boob constitution together are what matter in terms of overall boob quality.]

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      • “Women obsess too much over boob size. A firm ass and young, pretty face are more attractive to men than huge knockers, if such a choice had to be made. Big boobs eventually sag and become pendulous udders.”

        Agree, 34B is in fact the gold standard for me, but women with that size always have trouble believing it.

        Another forum I read is a porn industry forum. Every time a porn chick goes to “Dr. Hackenstuff”, someone posts a before and after picture and the forum resounds with sobs, howls of pain, cries of “why, why, WHY???” and gifs of people blowing their brains out. And with most of these guys it’s about the only moment of humanity you’ll ever see from them.

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      • Yay for 34Bs! They’re a blessing in disguise, perhaps, as you have to stay fitter to keep a good ratio. Better for overall health. (There’s a stong possibility this is hogwash to make myself feel better :))

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      • In light of recent revelations; perhaps a track-and-field analogy is in order. Huge tits on an in-shape girl are the sprinters. They can’t be touched in short distances (18-25ish -breastfeeding). But the 34B’s are the marathon runners. They keep going and going and going…

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      • See, you too. Don’t rationalize, learn to embrace them. I’ll help.

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      • +1 for 34Bs – The best 😀

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      • Yeah if there is a body part to obsess about for women it’s the hips and backside. Unlike breast size…that is something you can control.

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      • (Related: This YouTube link is now acceptable shorthand for TITS OR GTFO. Yeeeeehawwww.)

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      • They don’t need to be huge, but I like a pert C or D… I have big hands, so sue me.

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      • Young C’s are the bee’s knees. The end.

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      • That’s true if we’re talking LTR, but for a SNL I’ll take a 6 with a big ass & tits over a flat chick with a cute face. I’ll pick up a paper bag on the way home & we’ll make it do what it do

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      • An important distinction. For STR’s, give me a fit, healthy hourglass-shaped woman with a round, firm, deeply-cleft ass accented with some spinal lordosis, along with D cups and a naturally high baseline libido every time. For a LTR, I’m with heartiste.

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      • For a STR, hands down, I’ll take a plain, healthy, fit woman with a round firm ass accented with a bit of lordosis, D cups,classic hourglass shape, robust libido(a fair description of my current gf) every time, over a markedly prettier flat chested gal with the butt of a 12 year old boy. Da dick don’t lie.

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      • I’m inclined to say that you’re all semi-gay PC strong independent women-fetishizing faggots. But H too is in the lot.

        I’ll just say that I love ’em big titties.

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      • I think I saw that 2nd from the left in a club one time… dancing on top of a speaker.

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    • “Favor Hamilton–who is married to her college sweetheart, a lawyer, and is the mother of a seven-year-old girl”

      “Favor Hamilton described the escort business as “exciting,” an illicit midlife diversion from her routine existence, one in which she operates a successful Madison, Wisconsin real estate brokerage with her husband”

      “She said that only her husband Mark, 44, was aware of her escort work, but that, “He tried, he tried to get me to stop. He wasn’t supportive of this at all.” The couple lives in a $600,000 Madison home and appears to be in no financial distress based on a review of court and municipal records.”

      The wages of beta, gentlemen.

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      • Shoo-in, BOTM.

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      • BOTM, seconded

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      • “Additionally, the rate schedule noted, clients would be charged a $300 supplement for a particular sex act.”

        TSG didn’t have to hint around. We all can assume that the extra $300 was for anal.

        So this poor SOB knew his wife was getting her ass plugged by different guys and he didn’t tell her to get lost? WTF???

        Some information on the husband is on this page. It says he was a pitcher on the Wisconsin baseball team, then went to Pepperdine law college, and now is a real estate agent. I guess he went from being a Big Man On Campus to a regular Joe, and then she got the urge to get buttrammed from other cocks.

        http://slimcelebrity.com/celebrity-athletes/suzy-favor-hamilton-from-olympian-runner-to-prostitute/

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      • I agree. However, she is a textbook, mis-diagnosed bipolar case. She has suffered from deep depression for years, her brother also suffered from it and committed suicide before the Olympics. Her doctor probably gave her meds that threw her into a “manic” phase.

        Bipolar people experience super deep lows like you cannot get out of bed for days and then go the other way (manic) to an extreme; stay up for days, feel “awesome,” accomplish big goals and are hyper productive. I have a friend like that; brilliant, entreprenur, successful and is a roller coaster.

        I do not condone her becoming a prostitute or Beta hubby standing by his whore woman. She could have focused on better things to go hyper on. Who knows why she felt okay to become a call-girl or why he stood by and let it happen. My bet is that she will come out in a few weeks and admit she is bipolar.

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      • You may be on the money here.

        This may also explain why she was so successful in her escort career. I’ve read that bipolar women tend to be highly sexualized. Anecdotally, I’ve been with two women in my life who were clinically diagnosed as bipolar and treated for it – both had prodigious sex drives and were insanely orgasmic.

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    • on December 20, 2012 at 3:14 pm Hugh G. Rection

      She said that only her husband Mark, 44, was aware of her escort work, but that, “He tried, he tried to get me to stop. He wasn’t supportive of this at all.”

      There was a time when a statement like that would have shocked me. But the fact that men dole out $600 to sleep with a 40 year old woman is astonishing.

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      • My thoughts exactly. Makes one wonder what it costs to sleep with a 20 year old women who looks like Favor Hamilton – $10,000/hour? I guess the market mechanisms behind the pricing of prostitutes is something of which I was grossly unaware.

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      • on December 21, 2012 at 10:21 am Hugh G. Rection

        I really want to know what Berlusconi paid for his hotties.

        But it must be quite an ego boost if men pay you excessive amount of money for access to your 40 year old vagina (or throw in $300 for the ass).

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      • Especially when you can nail a cute, feminine 20yo for $35 in Southeast Asia.

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      • There is something about this 40-something, though. Let’s face it that girls with worldliness are attractive, and she is a fine physical specimen. An epic collegiate athlete and 3-time Olympian. Her age almost emphasizes how amazing her lean and strong body is. (I’d still take her at 24 over 44.)

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      • “There was a time when a statement like that would have shocked me. But the fact that men dole out $600 to sleep with a 40 year old woman is astonishing.”

        Exactly. Back in the 60’s you’d be exiled for something like this, today we just put it on the news while her husband grovels like a beta.
        And I bet that $600 sex was grossly stale, with plenty of “rules”. That’s why I could never get a prostitute, nothing compares to the sexual tension from an unrestrained, mutual and free SNL

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    • Even that woman, who was doing pretty high-end work with clients she trusted fully for fun, plays the victim card. Wait a while and she will be crusading against the “evil men who pay to rape and abuse young enslaved women” since it’s the only path of rehabilitation for a natural born whore.

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      • How refreshing would it be if she said, “So I loved screwing strange men for lots of money in hotel rooms. So what? Lots of women fantasize about these things. It was thrilling, made me feel sexy and I made cash in the process. Since it is too embarrassing now since I’m outed I will stop doing it. My husband has been very understanding.”

        At least this would acknowledge that female sexuality can rampage and reap destruction on marriages and families just like male sexuality. When females act out their primal urges why does it have to be the product of mental illness?

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      • “At least this would acknowledge that female sexuality can rampage and reap destruction on marriages and families just like male sexuality. When females act out their primal urges why does it have to be the product of mental illness?”

        Honestly, some of you guys read about some debauched woman and you think every woman on earth is like her.

        Some women still values their marriages/relationships and don’t want to wreck ‘em on garbage. So whatever primal urges, they are subdued.

        And the husband is at fault too. He wasn’t strong enough to punish her. A woman will try to get away with as much as her husband allows. I can’t believe he didn’t get the hell out. Or, maybe he worried about his daughter at the hands of her dirty slut mother, but in this case most courts would have awarded him custody. Maybe he is protecting his daughter form finding out about her mother. What a disaster.

        And to add insult to injury, she isn’t even hot. She looks so used and abused. She has body marks all over, and she has body piercings – the mark of the slut. Really she is nothing but a common whore who looks it. Her black stilettoes are hot, not her. At least she has good taste in shoes. I can’t believe some men think she’s hot.

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      • Some women still values their marriages/relationships

        Ugh, so true. But then, I keep reminding myself that this is their port-and-cigar drawing room discussion, and they’ve got every bit as much right to bitch about us as we do about them. Even when they’ve elected to ignore the few remaining good.

        ANY primal urges left unchecked – be they sexual or otherwise – will wreck havoc. It’s too bad this lesson will be lost on the masses.

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  1. That’s beautiful. My favorite gifts: custom driftwood framed photo of sunset, a seatbelt, a finger piano, shells, a strap wrench, and a pair of socks (believe it or not). Least favorite gift: air mattress.

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    • A GeishaKate is still a GeishaKate, even by another name.

      Can’t you go post on Jizza – belle and end your obssession with manosphere sites? Do you somehow get validation by repeatedly posting comments here and elsewhere? No one gives a damn what your favorite gifts are. This is a site about how to get pussy, not a place for you and the other vaginas to come and cluck away with one another.

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      • Why don’t you end your obsession with my supposed obsession? Do you somehow get validation by repeatedly posting comments to me here and elsewhere? Gosh, Tertullian, you really sound very young. My comments don’t keep you from learning “how to get pussy.” Instead of making me into a convenient scapegoat, you could either ignore me or try to learn something from me. I’m going to go the ignore route.

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      • “Gosh?”

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      • Never confront stalkers with rationality or argument. You appease their creepy appetite for attention and thereby increase it. Rather than threaten to “go the ignore route,” just go. Have confidence that even casual readers recognize the dynamic without your having to spell it out. That leaves you the flexibility to enact a more permanent solution: killing them with kindness, or neutralizing their needy aggression with a script-flipping generosity, which is something you have already demonstrated a great facility with here.

        Matt

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      • Pistols at dawn?

        Medieval spiked-shield duel?

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      • How’s Sunday? I have a date with a walking encycolopedia tomorrow that I’d like to be alive for. Its a Christmas miracle! 🙂

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      • Sunday works. The shields sound more interesting, but as the challenged party, you get to choose the weapons.

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      • In that case, I choose the feather duster. I plan on cleaning up 🙂

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      • Sorry but those medieval art prints look a little too cool to opt for feather dusters….!

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      • I’m prepared to upgrade to a Swiffer, but that’s my limit.

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      • Fair enough….and the stakes?

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      • They should be done by now. Let’s eat!

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      • We did not agree that humor could be a weapon….

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      • LOL I thought you red pill men didn’t like women who played by The Rules 🙂

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      • I see it is a good thing for me you did not opt for the spiked shields…

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      • All you ever need to know to defeat me is that I cannot stay awake past nine. And in honor of our little fun, I’m turning in early and you can have what you wanted in the first place: a Kate-free zone. Enjoy!

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  2. This could work and I’ve actually done it to decent effect. But if you’re mal-calibrated it can go wrong IMO and come off as kind of white-knighty. I like singing to women in person and there’s on song in particular that seems to moisten them up, I think the song choice and circumstance are key.

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  3. Chicks love the customized stuff, especially if you yourself make it.
    I make custom greeting cards, posters, printed stuff, etc., since graphic design is my forte, and they eat it up.

    Basically, apply your skill set towards making a gift no one else will be able to make.

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  4. I am the bar-none fucking master of this.

    A few selections of gifts to Mrs. Ironwood over the years:

    Sappy 80s mix tape CD
    Portraits of each of her children and her husband, posed and framed.
    Framed picture of Klempt’s The Kiss for our bedroom.
    Original Shakespearean sonnet using her name and describing our courtship.
    Three sketches of her I made from pictures of her as a child, a teen, and an adult woman.
    Custom “Bad Period” box set of melancholy and crappy songs and select movies often sought out during a particularly bad period.
    Custom written and cut-out Valentine’s card . . . translated into Latin (she’s a Latin nerd)
    Apropos to that, a copy of Catullus in Latin. Hot stuff.
    I dedicated a book to her.
    Called her office voicemail before she arrived and played “Lovely Day” by Bill Withers so she’d get to it in the middle of a lot of crappy voicemails.
    Hid a bar of chocolate in her office. Revealed where it was when it was appropriate. Was hero.
    Surprise lunch date.
    Loudly sing a few bars of Italian opera to her down the hall at work, so that people watch her and she gets embarrassed, then blow her a kiss before walking away.
    Peel a wheel in front of her girlfriends, even though you’re 40 and the minivan might not be able to take it.
    Get her the t-shirt from the bar the night you conceived your first child.
    Thunderdance.
    Framed two gorgeous 100-year old anatomy posters for her.
    Took her to South Of The Border.
    Get a dozen roses, and then put one at the sink, in her car, at work, etc. throughout her day. Each one leads to the next. End with dinner and hotel sex.
    Pick her up from work in a limo.

    In progress:

    Take a popular song, re-write the lyrics to describe our courtship, sing and record with back-up from kids.

    Take 19th century 3-section folding room divider belonging to my grandmother and have it re-done with a collage of pictures from her family on one side, mine on the other, and ours in the middle. Surmount with a stained-glass symbol of your combined family life.

    There’s more, these were just the easy ones to remember.

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    • That’s good stuff, because it’s (1) creative, (2) thoughtful but not supplicating (what beta would give his girlfriend a “bad period kit”?) and (3) injected unexpectedly into the humdrum of everyday life, instead of being confined to birthdays/holidays/when you want to get laid.

      Meanwhile, how many relationships have blown up even though the girl didn’t have to work, got to shop and eat out all day, etc thanks to her boyfriend/husband’s beta provider money. The problem is, people just get used to that stuff. And unlike the examples you give, a debit card doesn’t feel very personal no matter how much money is in it or how hard hubby is munching that corporate deathburger to keep it coming.

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    • Alright, Ironwood. I thought I was a badass at this stuff, but you’ve got me beat, by a longshot, even compared to my sappy beta days.

      I will admit to quoting Rumi and Neruda poetry before it was cool, putting them into cards and letters, and then surreptitiously placing those items where she’ll find them.

      The aloofness that I’ve been practicing of late has brought an even more acetic and minimalist tone to my gift-giving, but I do put intention & thought into it. No, that’s a lie. Usually the right song or poem just synchronistically appears.

      The kind of effort you put in is just not worth it unless she’s a true longtime love with a deep, soulful connection, which is I’m guessing what you’ve got with your wife.

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    • These don’t sound particularly alpha….it sounds like you’re just a thoughtful husband. Which is respectable, but I think everyone around here is playing the Maximum Sex for Minimum Investment game.

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  5. The gift that keeps on giving…..

    RAPE!

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  6. What LS just said.

    I will never relate to that line of thinking, spending serious cash on some run of the mill, generic item several other million Men are getting their Women at the very same time, everywhere.

    I have got farther ahead in my endeavours with Women by taking a little bit of time and a lot of creativity (I am not the most creative Man out there) and putting together something unique and done with my own hands. You cannot replace (buy) effort, and any Woman worth her salt realizes this and instinctively even craves it.

    I have also found that these sentimental, personal gifts will stay with the Women well after the relationship is over with. Even if the gift does not, the memory absolutely does.

    Save that Ca$h baby

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  7. I was actually thinking about this yesterday (thinking about you writing things to ladies, I mean, not the issue of gifts in general). Betcha write some dashing love letters when the mood strikes you.

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  8. is a Victoria secret gift card with a box of jr. mints cool?

    [Heartiste: Make it a bag of Skittles and you have a winner.]

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  9. Your nasty, sweaty old t-shirt w ur favorite team’s logo u leave at her place. For the win.

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  10. Ive been thinking, Mr Hand…if i’m singing, and youre singing, doesnt that make us both betas?

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  11. Being artistically inclined is a great advantage in LTR game. I give them stuff that I would be making anyway and they eat it up. I don’t spend shit.

    Also, this is goddamn magic for keeping girls in every port. A mix CD with a hand drawn cover once a year ensures that I have guaranteed lays all over this great land.

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  12. I always thought writing and recording a song for a girl was beta, but then again women love musicians, so who knows – Appealing to their ego is golden.

    I used to blow hundreds of dollars on the girl in my longest relationship during ever birthday, anniversary, and Christmas (While she was always broke or couldn’t afford anything for me, ‘natch). But one year I was strapped for cash and decided to draw a picture of her as a character in her favorite TV show. She loved it, and to this day she still has it hanging in her bedroom, years after we’ve split.

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  13. I would have bet a $1000 that a love song was the biggest beta gift of all time.

    [Heartiste: Who said anything about a love song? >} ]

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  14. For us in the back of the classroom, say more about the leverage on future girlfriends.

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  15. krauser’s post with the little miss books was clever; throw in a butt plug and you’ve got a play date.

    btw, since we’re all in a festive mood – my gf told me her kill count was 13. she’s 20. excessive? for gen x yes, today – im not entirely sure. she’s a slut, yea, though degrees vary these days..

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    • For a GF, 13 partners at any age is fucking disgusting.

      If you don’t love her and aren’t committed who gives a shit about partner count.

      But if you are investing serious time, emotions and resources into a girl do you really want her comparing you to 12 other cocks (that she admits to)?

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    • 13 x 3 and you’ll be closer to the real number.

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  16. Once she’s pregnant with your second child, you can get her a gumball.
    Other than that, gifts are poison.
    Especially flowers.

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  17. Gave a girl an ear of dried corn once.
    Nexted her eventually, but we had a lot of fun in the meantime.

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  18. In the how many months we’ve been together (6-7?), I don’t think I’ve bought her anything over $20-30.

    My favorite move thusfar has been printing off 8-10 pictures of her, me, or us together, with a little vignette written on the back, and send them to her office in an unmarked envelope. (I also throw in a few random, borderline S&M photos with naughty shit written on that back.)

    Just did that one today. She called me crying feverishly, with who-knows-how many “I love you”s peppered in.

    The plus side of sending shit to their office (not just flowers) is all of her friends at her work now know who you AND you get rouse their catty ire at your woman’s expense. Always a fun sight to see.

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  19. Dick in a box is still cool, right?

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  20. on December 20, 2012 at 4:49 pm feminizedwesternmale

    I get the girl I’m banging a pair of slippers and a dildo: If she doesn’t like the slippers, she can go fuck herself.

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  21. I called my GF a money pit at dinner. She smacked me in the chest hard when we went outside the restaurant. I think I could literally feel her pussy tingling.

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  22. A lot of nice gift ideas but keep in mind that context is everything and if you’re still a beta male these kinds of gifts are worse than useless.

    Example: A girl I was wildly in love and making a beta fool of myself pursuing, mentioned casually in passing to a group of friends at a Christmas party that she loved sipping brandy on a cold winter’s night. I bought a small bottle of extremely expensive cognac and left it at her apartment door while she was away at work with a note saying, “Sip Slowly and Think of Me…”

    Before the end of the year – you guessed it! – she ripped out my heart and wiped her ass with it, preferring the company of a brainless thug with a meth addiction and 3 illegitimate kids by 3 different women.

    But he was an ALPHA brainless thug.

    Context is everything.

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    • You know, if I were her I’d dump you too. It’s not the giving of gifts to girls that makes you beta, it’s the way you give the gift and the wording you use.

      Think about it, you gave her expensive cognac and told her to drink it thinking of you, implying that it’s OK if she enjoys things without you. Why would you indicted to a woman it’s OK to have experience without you when you are supposedly together and should act as a unit? You didn’t come across as a nice guy, just like a big huge fool.

      Would you give her tickets to see a movie or to go on vacation and tell her to enjoy it and think of you when she does? What crap? You should have made arrangements to enjoy the cognac together. You wouldn’t have gotten on her nerves and she wouldn’t have dumped you.

      After this experience you now mistakenly think that you have to be an asshole to make women stay with you, instead of realizing it’s your delivery and your expectations of her as a man that ruined things for you, not the giving of gifts. It’s very important to figure out the difference.

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      • Well what you preferred is totally unrealistic because he might have been dumped rest assured and that she might had the fling with ALPHA brainless thug? You can’t predict a woman’s feeling just by sitting with her, she can switch from shy to nasty in a bit second. So to better understand we must say that it was his beta days he did that thing and believe me if i was him I would have done the same thing, it is just that women are complicated beings you never know them, after so many feminization of society finally Men have learned what really gets the girl going and whats makes her button click, The sexual buttons, So now he knows the trick and he is using it FOR HIS ADVANTAGE.

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      • Eh? Didn’t we say we’re not going to reply to each other anymore? What gives?

        Ok, I forgive you because you seem pleasant enough, but you totally misunderstand how I feel about this.

        Yes, you’re right, in his case he would have been dumped anyway because this girl is a complete loser whore. What woman with a bit of sense would date “a brainless thug with a meth addiction and 3 illegitimate kids by 3 different women”? I mean, that’s the height of sleaze. That women was not worth any gifts, not even arts and crafts.

        However, let’s put aside her sleazy character and look at his actions, because his actions would drive any woman away, even one that’s not sleazy.

        If a man gave me a bottle of alcohol, expensive or cheap makes no difference, and told me to drink it alone while I think of him, my romantic sexual juices wouldn’t be churning, capiche? He’d come across as a fool, unworldly, or unromantic. Drinking alone doesn’t make a woman long to be with her man, just like dining alone or doing anything alone. That’s where the creativity should come in, not in the arts and crafts some of you take pride in making for these girls. A woman wants to know a man has a plan for them as a couple. He came up with an idea. He didn’t just dump a bottle of cognac at her doorstep.

        Therefore, besides being sexually aggressive and dominant, a man should be a leader too. Take matters into his own hands, even with something as seemingly unimportant as a girl’s birthday gift. You appear more sophisticated, and women want men; not boys.

        However, by the sound of most of your comments, none of you bother to put much thought or effort into the women you are dating. And this brings me back to my other point that if these gifts satisfy, it’s usually because the women receiving them don’t expect much and always settle for less, including men that use them.

        That’s another thing for which feminism is responsible. It made women settle for boys looking to get laid, not men looking to take care of a woman. A total misalignment of male-female relations.

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      • No gift can overcome the lure of thugs.
        Delivery don’t mean shit,neither.
        In fact, the asshole route is indeed just about the best way to go, no matter what.

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      • NiteLily, of course it was a beta thing to do. That’s the point.

        If I’d established myself in her mind as an Alpha Male then the cognac and note would have been completely out-of-character and thus SPECIAL in her eyes. Game theory says the unexpected beta act is extremely effective done with the correct frame and timing.

        But after months of such sweet and romantic gestures, without getting even a handjob in return, it meant nothing to her, just another silly puppy-dog supplication from wimp boy.

        As I said, context is everything.

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      • “Game theory says the unexpected beta act is extremely effective done with the correct frame and timing.”

        I wrote another comment a few days ago regarding your story but it never posted. I pointed out that whether or not you were a beta back then, wouldn’t have made much of a difference. In this case you would have been overlooked anyway because this girl is a complete loser whore. What woman with a bit of sense would date “a brainless thug with a meth addiction and 3 illegitimate kids by 3 different women”? I mean, that’s the height of sleaze. That women was not worth your time. You would have had to be a very major creep lowlife to get her blood boiling for you. Do you really need a girl like that?

        But if she wasn’t such a stupid slut and you gave her a gift without telling her to enjoy it without you, I think she would have valued you plenty. In that case a different delivery would have made a difference.

        “But after months of such sweet and romantic gestures, without getting even a handjob in return, it meant nothing to her, just another silly puppy-dog supplication from wimp boy.”

        So you weren’t even dating her at the time, just wishing you could date her? I missed that from your original post. So you were a beta orbiter? You should re-post this in today’s thread. It’s about beta men hanging around girls hoping to bed them.

        This is even worse. Who gives gifts to girls they are not dating? Even arts and crafts is uncalled for. No, I meant if she were a decent girl and you were dating, then giving her a gift that both of you could enjoy together as a couple is not bad. It actually makes you seem in control. Women like a man with a plan.

        But all this is irrelevant now. I bet you anything if you saw her today she looks like a used and abused Raggedy Ann slut. I hate stupid sluts; they make all women seem that way to men. However, there are variants in women. Not all women run after lowlife thugs.

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  23. For me this is so true. Men have wrote me poems from the heart, and I’ll never throw them away or forget who they were from and for what occasion. Those kinds of gifts are the best.

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  24. Psychological damage this inflicts on future boyfriends who find out about it… also priceless!

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  25. 17 yr old lifeguard I was in love with ..bought her a puppy for her birthday ..she was mine till I went to far alpha 4 yrs later..

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  26. “But keep in friendly contact occasionally”? This is a point of cognitive dissonance with me. What about the post a few weeks ago noting that any woman who’s hanging with her ex likely wants his dick and is jeopardizing her current relationship? Few men want to be the guy dating a girl who occasionally stays in touch with a Heartiste. Is this just a double standard inherent in life?

    Like


  27. You gave the best gift you can give as documented in your Yoga Class story: A Fart. The sweetest perfume.

    Like


  28. I didn’t see this here yet – So I’ll just go ahead and suggest giving her a..

    “Pearl Necklace”

    Heh-heh!

    Like


  29. on December 20, 2012 at 10:19 pm Full-Fledged Fiasco

    Womans Tolerance of Woman.

    Read the whole thing.

    Like


    • Holy smokes. We’ve been saying this for some years now and this writer nailed it when things only started to go haywire.

      Like


  30. […] One time, I recorded myself singing a song I wrote for a girl. I used a hand-held recorder, so the quality wasn’t good. You can hear a dog barking in the background and rain falling outside on the patio. We eventually broke up from intractable circumstances, but keep in friendly contact occasionally, and she tells me that to this day my recording is the only item of love she has from any man that she refuses to discard. Cost of this gift to me: zero dollars. Psychological value of this gift to both me and her: priceless. Ability to leverage this gift against future girlfriends who know about it: infinity priceless. The alpha male gifts that women love are never what Kay Jewelers, Zales or VisaMastercard tell you they are. The gifts women love the most are not those gifts that by virtue (or vice) of their cost demonstrate the extent of your beta provider resource pool. No, the gifts women love the most are those gifts that demonstrate the personality traits of the alpha male, a man with romance in his heart despite carrying the burden of multitudinous options with women in his groin. Filed under: Alpha, Girls, Love Source: Chateau Heartiste   […]

    Like


  31. Off topic:

    Heartiste continues to seep into the mainstream (from 2011):

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/maria-rodale/why-women-love-cats_b_819506.html

    “Here is the brutal truth, all woman crave an “alpha” (which is why we love romance novels so much). “

    Like


  32. on December 21, 2012 at 1:45 am Michael Merritt

    I got into a car accident with an LTR in the passenger seat one time that resulted in us crashing through a very large tree that had fallen across the road and hitting a car on the other side. Valentine’s day came soon after, and she received a small branch from the tree (about the size of a small bouquet) with part of my mangled headlight wrapped around it and stuck in the leaves, along with a very short handwritten note. We split up ages ago, but she told me its her favorite gift from anyone ever, and I know she still has it. I wonder how many betas she fondly thinks of when looking at the expensive earrings they bought her.

    Another time I accidentally snapped the earpiece clean off the glasses of a girl I was seeing. A couple days later I bought her a $2 bottle of super glue at home depot (I was already there for other materials for a project I was working on), tied a piece of string around it in a sloppy knot, and stuck a sticky note to it that said “cheaper than a new pair of specs” with no signature and left it in her mailbox. Went to pick her up the next day and didn’t even leave her place because she jumped me with some crazy monkey sex.

    It’s all about how you present it, not what you get her.

    Like


    • Please, if you gave them such gifts, it’s because they didn’t warrant anything more being the temporary lays you intended them to be. Furthermore, if these gifts satisfy, it’s usually because the women receiving them don’t expect much and always settle for less, including men that use them.

      Like


      • on December 21, 2012 at 5:50 am Michael Merritt

        I was in a relatively long and very satisfying exclusive relationship with the girl in the first example. But feel free to continue insinuating that the women I’m fairly fond of are unhappy and simply settling with my “using” them.

        Like


      • Did I say these women are unhappy?

        I said they are sluts that don’t warrant much, as most of the women most of you bed are. These women usually settle for relationships which they know deep inside have no potential to last but they hope they can win the guy despite him being a player. They also settle for goofy/no gifts instead of getting upset or disappointed as they know deep inside the guy will never buy them anything anyway.

        The best thing for a woman to do is refuse all gifts. Don’t let him buy you anything. That’s when he starts bringing you things. The moment you say no, is when he says yes. Especially, when it’s a serious relationship.

        Like


      • “These women usually settle for relationships which they know deep inside have no potential to last but they hope they can win the guy despite him being a player.”

        Unfortunately that describes 99% of women. Yes, including you. Women are very predictable to an experienced man.

        “I said they are sluts that don’t warrant much, as most of the women most of you bed are.”

        Most are probably average women, with 10-20 guys chasing after her thinking she’s a “good, innocent girl”

        Like


      • You are very close to the truth. But I think most men know they are not innocent. They just stopped caring about innocence in women as per feminism.

        Like


      • @NightLily

        I’d agree, with one little tweak – expecting. Men stopped expecting our innocence and loyalty and goodness. Feminism turned us all into whores, and hurt most everyone who didn’t want to participate in its brave new world.

        Like


      • I think it’s probably both – men either stopped caring or they don’t expect it anymore, which means they don’t care about it in the end. But, whether they stopped caring or they don’t expect it makes no difference. It all means the same at this point – society doesn’t value traditional women, as per feminism.

        And I will totally agree with you that it hurt most women who like traditional male-female roles because they’re not the epitome of womanhood any longer. If you date men who expect you to sleep with them at the drop of a hot because your sisters are doing it without a second thought and you won’t/can’t because of your strong convictions about right and wrong, do you think you can find a decent husband with traditional values? Not in hell.

        This is all what it’s coming to. Good women who are not sluts can’t get decent men to commit, and slutty women who try to trap men into marrying them by sleeping with them find out they can’t get men to commit either. This quagmire cause troubles all across the board, so is there any wonder why marriage and child-bearing is on the decline?

        Only societies that never had the Western values of marriage are breeding children. But what are they breeding? Misfits, criminals, evil doers, trouble makers, and mental cases, which would have been much better had they never been conceived. That’s the current picture in a nutshell.

        Like


      • on December 21, 2012 at 8:03 pm Michael Merritt

        But… but… NAWALT!!!!

        Like


      • on December 21, 2012 at 3:01 pm Hugh G. Rection

        Good to see a woman who takes pride in being a more expensive prostitute than these cheap sluts Michael frequents with.

        Like



  33. Alpha widow and beta.

    Like


  34. My dad always said.The best gifts a real man can give a woman is cheap lingerie and kitchen utensils.

    Like


  35. on December 21, 2012 at 3:52 am aspic the fuckin' aspie

    You got to love the narcissism of my generation. They just can’t quietly slit their wrists in the bathtub or run the cars ignition in the garage (using the car mommy and daddy bought them obviously). No, they have to make it a BIG FUCKING DEAL, get some media time, and ruin some lives in the process. ‘

    Like


  36. my Micheal Kors limited ed. men’s style watch that I received from my LTR ex beta (first gift he gave me for my bday, five years ago) that IS my fave gift and hope to be buried with when I die, begs to differ. I am sorry but if a guy ever sang me a song, I would die.

    Like


    • Heh…I had to have fun with an alpha to realize the gravy train the beta provided.

      I want to have my cake and eat it too…the hamster runs amok.

      Like


    • on December 21, 2012 at 10:47 am Hugh G. Rection

      I think there should be some sort of formula devised for how long it takes fora woman to contradict herself in her words. It’s probably a good estimate of hamster velocity.

      “We are in a happy, healthy relationship [..] which sucks”. I hate being bipolar, it’s awesome.

      Like


    • What an idiot. The Wall will treat her nicely

      Like


  37. You are right.

    If a woman is attracted to a man, (i.e. she sees him as HER alpha) she will accept any gift from him as ‘special’. If she is not attracted to him, giving her the moon will not make a darn difference.

    I was once offered a top seat ticket (in the Royal Box no less!) for an opera for a FIRST date by a man I knew I was never going to be attracted to. I politely declined and never saw him again.
    Later, a man to whom I was attracted (we had been going out for around 6 months) offered me a piece off a treebark as we went for a romantic walk in the woods. I treasured that treebark so much you wouldn’t believe it. We get married in a few weeks.

    Secure the attraction first. Then a woman is yours. You will get away with (almost) anything 🙂

    Like


  38. […] felt pretty good when I saw this post over at the chateau regarding Alpha Male Gifts. I’ve had a few recordings from X, mostly whilst I was overseas. I love his voice. It sends […]

    Like


  39. “That wouldn’t work on me.”

    – Girl that it would work on

    Like


  40. I went to school for graphic design. Many years ago, the girl I was dating who took my virginity had a birthday while we were together, so I drew her a portrait of us one night off a photo I took. Several relationships, a marriage/divorce, child, and fresh fiance later, she still has it locked away and takes it out from time to time. Although I went beta on her (this was in the days I was learning game), she hasn’t had anyone do something like that for her.

    Like


  41. That was, without a doubt, the cheesiest, lamest, waste of time, Doug heffernan, limp dick, played out idea of our time. Damn dude, you call your self an alpha? Lmao.

    Like


  42. I recently gave my girl a lego figure that looks like me for our anniversary. Complete with a replica of my favorite rifle. She loved it. Narcissism gets them wet. Every time.

    Like


  43. I was quite a late bloomer as far as women. My first gf was 10 yrs older than me. We had sex on the second date. I went on a trip to Yosemite with friends and brought her back a piece of bark with what I thought was particularly unusual green moss on it. She bought herself books on how to please a man in bed and would leave them lying around her place. The ice cube blowjobs were nice.

    Like


  44. “the personality traits of the alpha male, a man with romance in his heart despite carrying the burden of multitudinous options with women in his groin.”

    Word.

    Like


  45. Haha Skittles and Movies. Now all we need is a nice GBFM mug, tee, and sexy thong.

    I gave this topic a shot back around Thanksgiving:

    http://offensewins.com/2012/11/23/trophies-a-gift-giving-guide/

    Like


  46. Le Cheatau in an LTR, what are the signs of a lack of rapport vs a lack of attraction?

    Like


  47. Reminds me of girls on okcupid. Girls like this are almost inevitably ‘responds selectively’ like they are some sort of prize. Maybe they respond selectively because half the messages they get are insults. I can only hope.

    Like


  48. I sent a girl I’m gaming a video of a raunchy rock song that her name in the title…cost $0. said, this makes me think of you. she loved it.

    Like


  49. on December 30, 2012 at 5:03 am holyhandgrenadeofantioch

    This year I gave my wife what turned out to be the best pair of presents. A 9mm semi-auto handgun and a pair of crotchless panties.
    I have X-mass preesents forever now

    Like