Judging A Girl By The Friends She Keeps

When you start dating a girl, you will get to meet her friends, sometimes sooner, sometimes later. But usually within the first couple of months you will have been introduced to nearly everyone she knows (locally), especially if she really likes you. Pay close attention to the types of friends she has (if she has any), for that will tell you a lot about her long term potential. Screening a girl for LTR worthiness based on the friendships she keeps is a powerful tool men have at their disposal, and one you should not overlook.

The following categories are ranked by LTR worthiness and chance of mental instability.

The Girl with No Friends
LTR worthiness: Short but passionate fling
Chance of mental instability: Sleep with one eye open

A girl with no friends likely has some personality defect that prevents her from forming bonds with people. Other girls regard her as a weirdo, and not without justification. Men think her social isolation means she will be an easy lay. They are right. This kind of girl is starved for human connection with a man who “gets her”. Hit those buttons, and you will enjoy a three month festival of zero-cost fornication. After a while, though, her weirdness will grate, and she will pull stunts that make you scratch your head in confusion. Girls with no friends are often brooding emo types, or cutters, and they may go batshit crazy if you dump them. Have a restraining order ready.

The Girl with No Close Friends, Only Acquaintances
LTR worthiness: Pump and dump
Chance of mental instability: Hope you like drama

The classic attention whore. The girl with nothing but loose acquaintances who flit in and out of her life craves the attention of hundreds, if not thousands, of human beings. She is usually a hot chick with a swollen ego who initially attracts girls into her reality for friendship, but who then drives them away with her insatiable appetite for social domination and ego stroking. She is a known blue ball queen who gets off stringing along beta orbiters in sexless perpetuity. She is simultaneously loved and loathed by her girlfriends, who find her outrageous fun at parties, but insufferable in more intimate settings. She is frequently bad-mouthed behind her back, and she presents one of the few cases where girl friends will sympathize more with her male suitors and boyfriends than they will with her. She is a high infidelity risk, so proceed with caution. Best used as a sperm receptacle, if you can get her to give it up (not an easy task unless you know how to expose her soft underbelly — fear of ostracization.)

The Girl with Only Family for Friends
LTR worthiness: Perennial booty call
Chance of mental instability: Riddled with insecurities

On paper, a girl who only has her family for companionship may strike you as a good LTR prospect. You think: Ah, she’s grounded, earthy, family-oriented, and shuns the nightlife. But you would be wrong. As any man who has married a “family-only” girl will tell you, they are demanding, mule-headed, socially awkward, often obnoxious and full of themselves. Remember, she’s had her family telling her how great she is her whole life, with no unbiased opinion from outside sources checking her ego. She is, in fact, not much different than the girl with no friends, except she has decided that leaning on her family for support and ego gratification is better than being alone. Other girls find her annoying at best, and arrogantly repugnant at worst, and that is why she must retreat to the comfortable confines of family for her social needs.

The no-friends girl at least has the cutesy artist angle to work; the family-only girl has nothing to offer but an unjustified entitlement complex. She is the classic daddy’s slutty princess. The family girl instinctually knows this about herself, and thus will nurse barely-concealed insecurities about her true worth, which she will take out on you, making your life miserable. Double-plus negative: You’ve gotta deal with her parents, brothers and sisters ALL THE TIME. Run away (after you’ve plundered her ass.)

The Girl with Only Guy Friends
LTR worthiness:  Second string girlfriend
Chance of mental instability: High, if you regard manipulation and tomboyishness as psychological disorders

What do you get when you surround a girl with obsequious, supplicating betas who want in her panties, and remove all contact with catty girl friends who might steal the attention of those mewling betas? Yeah, that’s right… a self-centered user. If the girl is cute, you should always cast a jaundiced eye at her if her friends are all men. Odds are very good that most of those men… actually, all of them… want to bang her (and she knows this). But they aren’t. Their job is to mingle in her glorious presence, polishing her pedestal and generally turning her into a girl who expects men to roll out the red carpet for her. She is the classic cocktease. She loves the intimate emotional connection she gets from a close circle of male friends, without having to give up her pussy to any of them or having to deal with competitor females. Now you may be the most alpha alpha male of all times, and she may love you for it, but once a girl has demonstrated by her friendship choices that she is a user, there will come a time, you can count on it, that she will try to use you. It’s best to keep her in your second tier of lovers, where her machinations won’t affect you with nearly as much import.

Caveat: If she’s plain looking and has mostly male friends, the upside of her having a well-developed sympathy for men’s peculiar challenges outweighs the downside of her having her ego stroked and her emotional needs met all the time by her male friends. All the better if most of her male friends are alphas themselves who are in relationships and who don’t spend inordinate time massaging her ego. But then why are you dating a plain-looking girl?

The Girl with Mostly Gay Guy Friends
LTR worthiness: One night stand
Chance of mental instability: She gets her own DSM edition

Same as above, except multiplied one thousand fold. A big unwritten story about the decline of the West is the deleterious impact trendy gay men have had on the egos of single urban Western SWPL women. If you can imagine it, try to picture her as nothing more than a disembodied vaginal hole. It will help keep a healthy emotional distance. A few gay guy friends is perfectly fine. Ten of them, to the exclusion of other groups of friends, is a red flag.

The Girl with Only Girl Friends
LTR potential: High, if you like lavish weddings
Chance of mental instability: Not more than the average girl, which is to say, high

The good news about the girl with only girl friends is that she is normal and feminine. She likes doing girly stuff, and if you are a real man and not a spotted-ass nerd with a jones for a butt-kicking babe who solves math proofs in her downtime, then you will appreciate being the boyfriend of this type of socially calibrated and psychologically balanced girl. There’s nothing wrong with dating a girl who, you know, ACTS LIKE A GIRL. Another plus: she doesn’t require the ministrations of hordes of beta male taintlickers to keep her from downward spiraling into depression.

The bad news should be obvious: she has no concept of what men must endure in either the dating market or the social market in general. Thus, her sympathy for men is nil, and she comes across solipsistic and self-absorbed. But she will happily bend to the will of a strong man, because she does not shun her female nature. She makes a great girlfriend; a wife, though, is an entirely different matter. That same group of supportive single girl friends who loved you as her boyfriend will tirelessly work to undermine your marriage should they themselves remain in the purgatory of singledom.

The Girl with Only Lesbian Friends

*Doesn’t exist in the state of nature.*

The Girl with a Mixed Group of Girl and Guy Friends
LTR potential: Be careful, your player days might be over with her!
Chance of mental instability: She makes most girls seem like candidates for institutionalization

And here we have the ideal girl, if LTRs are your thing. (Note: If same night lays are your thing, she is NOT the ideal girl.) She is open-minded and humble enough to enjoy the company of a variety of friends with strong opinions, she has enough femininity to relish time with girl friends, and she has enough exposure to guy friends that she can sympathize with their concerns. Ideal scenario: her girl and guy friends are all in relationships of their own. This limits the cattiness and the beta orbiter supplication to a manageable level.

A girl who maintains an attractive humility and who respects the wishes and the laments of men is a girl who is emotionally secure enough to not just tolerate, but embrace, the company of both girl friends and guy friends. She loves people for who they are, and not for what they can do for her ego.

The Girl with One or Two Player Friends
LTR potential: bimonthly tests for STDs, OR GF material
Chance of mental instability: She’s not crazy, she’s creative!

If a girl spends a lot of time with either a Samantha-type slut or a Hitch-like player, she’s got hang-ups about her sexuality and her dating market value worth. She wants to live vicariously through their exploits because she herself lives a rather modest life, or she IS like them and enjoys being with people who live and think just as she does. If the former, she might be redeemable with enough LTR game. If the latter, there’s a good chance that eerie suspicion you had that she was getting pounded by another cock last Thursday was true.

Major red flag: Double all her slut points if the time she spends with the player or the slut is over Sunday brunch at a tapas restaurant, getting drunk on mimosas.


My hope with this post is to impress upon the male reader the importance of not only screening girls for LTR potential, but of winning over a girl’s friends, man or woman, if you intend to date her beyond the customary three weeks. While it appeals to a certain renegade male mindset to boff a girl and pay no heed to her extraneous social life, it’s always better to have her friends on the inside of the tent pissing out, than outside pissing in. Girls, being the lemming sex, rely more heavily than men do on the judgment of their friends’ opinions about their boyfriends. If she is someone you could date for the long haul, best to befriend her social circle eagerly. If nothing else, you have neutralized any future sabotage. More likely, you have made a new group of friends. And if your girlfriend is cool, then the solid bet is that her friends are cool, too.


  1. Holy shit, the Girl with Only Family Friends is 10000000% on the money. That’s my last GF to a fuckin’ T. All the way to the “plundering the ass” comment.

    Severe self-esteem issues, constantly needing to know where I am.

    She had quite the set of DDs though. Best naturals I’ve ever seen, period.

    Maybe I should put out a feeler text, she what she’s up to…


  2. One of these fits my eighteen-year-old daughter to a T. I ain’t saying which one, though.


  3. First bitch. Wake up white man.


  4. damnit


  5. oh man, I think I messed it up.


  6. Great stuff. “Chance of mental instability: Not more than the average girl, which is to say, high” Damn, I’m still laughing at that one.


  7. If a girl you’re dating ever says “I don’t get along with other girls”, run.

    Also, if she has a hard time taking on new friends that may be a sign that she’s either insecure or not warm – both bad signs.


  8. The good news is that most girls fall into the mixed girl/men scenario so this isn’t a big deal.

    [Heartiste: Not really. Most girls have a mix of about 90% female friends and 10% fly-by-night male friends. Not that many have a solidly mixed group of, say, 60/40 female to male friends.]


    • We can dispute the exact numbers but exact percentages aren’t too important. You definitely want the woman to have a more female to male ratio but not extreme (90/10 would be not be good for LTRs).


  9. “But then why are you dating a plain-looking girl?”

    Or you could be really lucky and meet one of these girls in the second paragraph of only guy friends, but (was is George Costanza who put it so well?) she was an ugly duckling who turned quite pretty and never new it.


  10. Not really on the last one. I once had a girlfriend that had a mixed group of girl and guy friends and she was the most fucked up gf I ever had. I also happen to know another girl with that profile and she’s batshit insane, a drama queen and attention whore who’ll sleep with anyone that claims to have a boner for her. She attempted to cheat on her husband with me (she’s now divorced), she drinks heavily, is a communist who listens to alternative rock and watches european movies. In short: insufferable.

    So no. You can’t generalize like that.

    [Heartiste: What you have experienced is called the exception to the rule. So, yes, you can generalize like that.]


  11. I’m also questioning the mixed group description. In some scenes, mixed groups of friends are the default, the status quo. I’d say it doesn’t indicate much one way or the other. They also tend towards androgyny, doing all the things their guy friends do.

    My favorite girls are those who have a strong ring of female friends, and a smattering of male friends outside of that. Feminine, but pleasant enough to keep casual male acquaintances. They hang out with girls, and usually only hang out with guys when more girls are around.

    Girls with a more mixed group of friends are noticeably more androgynous.

    [Heartiste: I didn’t say they hang out with the mixed group together all the time. In fact, girls with mixed group friends tend to hang with the girls and guys separately, and even then the guys are there because their girlfriends are also friends with the girl. Only at big parties do you see them all come together under one shiny rainbow of love.]


  12. Spot on with the girls with all guy friends. Luckily this seems to peter out as they get older, I’d like to say as a function of maturity, but more likely as a function of declining looks.

    [Heartiste: Double heh.]

    Liked by 1 person

  13. A local young gal has been hitting on me, coming into one of my businesses, blowing up the old cell phone, posting crazy shit on Facebook.

    When I met her, I told her to bring some of her girlfriends over to my loft so my friends could have fun. She said “All my friends are guys.”

    Since then, the only thing she’s useful for is to ask her about her girlfriends and which one is the hottest/skinniest/sluttiest.

    I don’t date women with more orbiters/hoverers than female friends. I don’t even want to be friends with those types unless they’re super hot and can help with social proof.


  14. Most girls have a mixture of girl and guy friends, so that’s the least chacterizable category. Another large group of girls have mostly girl friends but a few guy friends. It’s true these tend to be the most feminine and least slutty girls I think. Tend. The other chacterizations seem like they do have a lot of truth on average.


  15. Hardcore fag haggery is a huge red flag. It was about time to get that fact straight. All the fag hags that i ever knew were outrageous status whores, with an insatiable appetite for strong men.
    I never bagged a fag hag but i have a personal revenge to carry. Sharing a friend zone with gay dudes made me question my sexual identity. One night stand seems like a fair verdict.


  16. A few gay guy friends is perfectly fine. Ten of them, to the exclusion of other groups of friends, is a red flag.

    Try to focus on the mental image of a post-wall Liza Minelli and you wont have any trouble abandoning this type of woman after a couple lays.


  17. What about a girl in grad school (far from her native home) who has lived here for 2-3 years but only seems to have grad-school friends?

    They are an odd bunch. And reading “100 reasons NOT to go to grad school” is not making me feel better about them: http://100rsns.blogspot.com/

    Aside from the male-female ratio, is there something to be said about a girl whose friends are -all- from the same social/cultural environment? It doesn’t seem very “well rounded,” but I don’t know whether to hold that against her.


    • Women with higher education are already a lost cause. They’re careerists, not good girlfriends, wives, mothers, etc.

      Magic 8-ball: “Two night stand.”


      • This is not necessarily true. I went to college and grad school (had to to pursue my field) because I was afraid I would not marry. I needed a way to support myself should I stay single. Also, at least in the 90’s a lot of girls went to college to meet men in the hopes of marrying. If you had asked me at the time, I would have adamantly denied it, but a huge part of the reason I went to school was to meet a husband. I was terrified of graduating and trying to find a good man outside of school because I knew how much harder it would be.

        Now, as for girls in school today? Maybe what you said is more true, but women do have to have a way to support themselves and until the damn college bubble breaks, it is still often the safest bet for a woman.


      • Hence why I prefer dating suburban dames over urban ones, I guess.

        The engineers and chemists and lab techs shy away from urban noise or something, but they’re not carrying $150k in debt for their MFA useless degree.

        My high school “counselour” was a feminist who pushed many of my HS gal pals into trendy colleges. The lucky ones married after college, the unlucky ones are hording cats and Sex and the City DVD box sets.

        Throw in the freshman 15, the sophomore 20 and the mind melting “be strong” programming women endure in leftist education circles, it’s no wonder so many women are single. They lost their best mating years to books and tests, if they’re lucky, and the cock carousel of frat boys and professors if they’re not.

        Should I have kids, theyre getting an experience in entrepreneurship and education, not just higher studies.


      • I’d like to get some opinions on how to teach kids entrepreneurship since I also want my kids to take this path all else being equal.

        Would be very interested in approach.


      • Splash. McCovey Cove.


      • I often find that girls with pre-college education are better solvers. It’s like they are able to use some common sense, while college seems to remove it completely. It probably is related to their major, I’d expect hard sci girl having some vestiges of thinking ability intact, but haven’t met that many to make any conclusions. So far, it seems to be across the board rule.


      • After a past girlfriend admitted to me how many dudes she fucked in her college years, and how commonplace that was among women, I have vowed to never again date a woman who went to a full 4 years of college.

        On a side note, how many trillions of taxpayer money and daddy’s money have been wasted on women going to college with the main priority of being little whores until they land a provider beta with a promising major. Learning, and developing careers are the last things on these girls minds, which is why they are paid less than men on average. All those classroom seats that could go to men who actually want to earn a living…


      • The worst part is that you can probably triple her numbers or more to get the true count.


      • Worse still is that they are often not even really educated. I think I met one who was in med-school when we were actually discussing the gram test. That was the exception. Its usually nothing but pretensions. With most of these “interesting” babes, try and say “Go, be interesting”, and see what you get.


      • Good point. 5 extra years of indoctrination as to why white males are bad is not an education.


      • Hey! Most people at med school have very interesting lives. More interesting than any other faculty, I would say.

        Why the hell were you talking about gram stains on a date? Maybe that says more about you.


    • Well, it’s not really surprising that all her friends are other grad students. She’s away from her hometown, so no childhood buddies, and a serious grad student won’t have much time to socialize so pretty much the only people she’s going to meet are at work.

      As to her prospects, I’d say it depends on what she’s studying.

      • Science: The good news is that she’s probably not crazy, and is likely to keep herself in shape. But women in science are VERY driven and hard-core about their work. Good LTR material as long as you don’t care about stuff like children, sex, etc.
      • History/Economics: Probably quiet, decent LTR material. High chance of getting fat. Just get used to the idea that she’ll never pull her weight economically but will believe her work is more important than yours, no matter what.
      • Literature/Language: If attractive, she’s probably a complete art school slut. If unattractive, she’s a lesbian or wants to be. Either way she’s a terminal feminist.
      • Women’s Studies: Run. Run now. Run like the wind until your lungs burst. Then run some more. Run!


      • LOL. Nailed ’em all. I fell in with a tubby, but hugely well-endowed history major a few years ago; French Rev was her thing. With a nightly side of man-juice to the kisser. LTR material if she hadn’t already been overweight, and acquired a constant “snark” habit of speech.


  18. I disagree. I think a girl with a slew of female friends is just awful to date. They poison the relationship at any change they get. They snap at you behind your back if you don’t feel like getting along with them. When you date a girl with a bunch of friends your forced to date all of them because you have to get along with them at all costs or they will fuck you at the first turn of bad events.

    One of your hall of fame posts is “Your girls friends are your worst enemy” – i believe that was the title of the post. Women are caddy bitches who can’t stand it when their girl is in a prosperous loving fun relationship and they are lonely and bitter.

    [Heartiste: That’s why it helps if a) her girl friends are in relationships, and b) you befriend her girl friends so they work for you and not against you. Unfortunately, this is something we men are just going to have to deal with. Women like to hang out as friends with other women just like men like to hang out as friends with other men.]


    • You generally want to befriend her female friends, and it does work well. I had the most trouble with one of her friend’s husband who was a loser beta(who was subsequently dumped ) who talked some shit about something I supposedly said.


    • I’ve had one relationship in the past 10 years where the girl’s friends actually hated me. They were all a bunch of bratty, spoiled, artist trust-fund babies who lied about it, and I called them all out on it.

      That being said, if you act like a man, her friends will love you. They’ll want their guys to be more like you.


    • Being introduced to a girl’s female friends is itself a shit test. Same experiences here – they badmouth you relentlessly behind your back, *especially* if they’re bitter sluts who’ve ridden the alpha cock carousel to the point of severe pelvic disfigurement and/or they think you might actually be good for her (i.e. you’re threatening to remove someone from their circle of ceaseless boo-hooing about what a-holes men are and how we’re never going to be happy etc etc).


    • There is nothing worse than a dilemma between choosing boyfriend or girlfriends.

      The boyfriend will always lose. To make life easier, I only date guys friends approve of.


      • That’s unattractive. If wooing a girl like you, I’d work to isolate you from your friends, and permanently.

        If you can’t have a mind of your own, then you’ll have my mind.


      • “If you can’t have a mind of your own, then you’ll have my mind.”

        I lol’d


      • “If you can’t have a mind of your own, then you’ll have my mind.”

        Thanks for the new mantra.


      • I want a man whom I can trust to charm and ingratiate my friends when we go out together. I.e. not a sociopath.

        Why do you want to isolate her? Her friends are part of her life and her interests, which influence why you find her attractive. If she loses her own interests, she’ll become boring to you and you’ll feel the need to cheat.


  19. How would you categorize a girl with a mixed-gender group of friends but only girls for close friends? I’ve never been able to have a straight male “best friend” without having him invariably express feelings for me down the road, and because those feelings weren’t reciprocated, it became very awkward. Normally at that point we would grow apart because I’d feel too guilty keeping him close when I can’t offer what he’s looking for. To be honest that whole desire to have “orbiters” is alien to me and it’s one of the reasons I shy away from male friendships that go beyond mixed-gender hang outs if they’re intended to stay platonic.


  20. I like this list. It gives hope to the Jersey Shore bims.
    It’d be a shame to waste JWOWW’s tits.


  21. Spot on post


  22. Haha. This is a lesson I had to learn during my high school days. My first girlfriend had this really slutty friend. She was barely 15 but was proudly telling her sexual exploits. I didn’t take her seriously at first. But it became apparent that she was indeed telling the truth.
    14 and in the double digits when it came to cock, sheesh.

    Ended up finding out how similar they were when I found out my girl was hanging out with some other dude when that very day she called me and told me she was with her ‘family.’ Also found some more evidence later on.

    Since then I’ve paid attention to a girl’s friends and I can, within a decent margin of error, tell my dating prospects with such a female. LTR? Short Term?

    Liked by 1 person

  23. on September 8, 2011 at 8:24 pm Philly Beer Guy

    The more I read this blog, the less I want to do with women altogether. Except maybe use them as pump-and-dumps. But jesus.


    • Unless one is the blogger himself, one is typically a massively discouraged reader. Yet we keep coming to pique our opioid receptors with heavy doses of well-written truth, however put off by such revelations.


      • I am not discouraged despite situations that would probably get others down. I actually view this site more like the Sun Tzu war manual for understanding the female species and winning the battle depending on your desired goals (one night stand, LTR, etc..)

        “If you know the enemy (feminists and entitled mindsets) and know yourself(for most that means programed with beta tendencies to be washed out), you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself,
        you will succumb in every battle”
        — Sun Tzu


  24. I’m not sure if it’s way cool,
    or uncool
    for wp to mod out
    the word “titz”


  25. Judging men is much simpler; either they are schmucks or they aren’t…..and more often than not, they are.


  26. One thing missing from this post is a mention of the *quality* of a woman’s friends. Are they productive members of society or welfare moochers? Single moms, happily married, felons, professionals, etc. The quality of the friends has to count at least as much as anything else.

    If her family are her only friends, are they support of each other with parents actually acting like parents, or is it more like a close-knit crack den?

    I had an LTR with a girl who made friends easily but always with the absolute crap of society. She worked in places where she could meet all kinds of people but her new friends were always trash. Whether she pre-selected them or they pre-selected her, it doesn’t matter. BIG RED FLAG.


  27. Thanks for the compliment! hehe! : ))


  28. I am trying to imagine what kind of young female would come out of a family of eight(8) siblings, half boys, half girls who grew up on a farm and who all had no-bullshit chores to finish every morning and after school so that the family would have enough to eat.
    And one who somehow got an elite college education paid for by a rich uncle.Then she has a career in the US Intelligence Services.- much of it still secret.- but most of it around real guys.
    Suddenly, I remember… That would be by mom. A woman who was indescribably different than the feral sort we are currently surrounded by on all sides. She never weighed more than 100 lbs but would slap us kids in a heartbeat if we transgressed her expectations of upright behaviour- even when we were a foot taller her. Because she really, really cared about the difference between right and wrong.
    She worshipped my dad. She often told us kids that if we were really, really lucky, if we ever got to have sex as great as they did. Kids always catch their parents fucking (testify) My mom was always on top. Of course it was sorta icky at the time but over long term it produced a tremendous gift– righteous standards and no fear about being a guy.
    I always knew she was a freak in some ways. But I concluded that my dad got something good that one cannot get today at any price, by any means, because it is simply no longer being produced.


  29. What about women on medication?

    An ex I was dating for 5 months turned out to be on an “atypical antipsychotic”, because according to her “it helped her to sleep”.
    She had very few close friends and was close with her mother.

    Despite being a solid 8 and having some good qualities; these red flags and some other concerns led me to call it quits.

    As I read elsewhere today: The purpose of marriage is not to save someone, but to have a functional, productive and happy life.


  30. “with no unbiased opinion from outside sources checking her ego.”

    That’s most women most of the time. And is there really such a thing as a girl with only guy friends? I’ve never seen it, the small number that exists would be a variation of the family girl. There are very few women with mixed men/women friends, 90/10 is about right if you add that many if not most of those men friends are couple friends. Finally, hasn’t the fag hag thing been debunked? What is the percentage of women who have gay friends (outside of work)? It’s probably well under a percent. As this blog points out, it’s all about sex, and most men and women have too little in common to hang around together when no sexual tension is involved. Even the vast majority of adult betas move on relatively quickly when it becomes obvious that the cute babe is never going to put out and is using them. Outside of the artificial world of high-school and college these types are seldom seen.


    • ” Finally, hasn’t the fag hag thing been debunked? What is the percentage of women who have gay friends (outside of work)? It’s probably well under a percent. ”

      Then the other 99% must be Hindu and Chinese, ’cause I encounter them everywhere. Do you reside in the kwa?


  31. “The Girl with Only Lesbian Friends

    *Doesn’t exist in the state of nature.*”

    Actually, they do…very rare though:

    LTR Worthiness: Not worth the trouble, especially if it’s a typical dyke
    Chance of mental instability: Self-evident

    Chances are you’ll never give this woman a second thought, as she will look like her other dyke friends, that is to say, butch and ugly. Even drunk, you’ll be eager to go home and give your hand a workout rather than try to bag this one.


  32. How do you even meet a girl with ZERO friends? It’s not like she’s going to be going outside a lot except for groceries, gas and tanning

    GGT Baby!


    • I dated a girl with zero friends. And by zero, I mean zip, zilch, none. She was very needy (surprise, surprise) and a little off. Kind of explained why a 9+ was dating my sorry ass. Hands down the most beautiful creature I ever put my pecker in.

      It lasted for about three months, and I called it quits because I couldn’t take it any more. She was just plain weird. I also work with a 26 year old girl who has no friends. She too is very attractive – I’d say an 8 – but strange as hell.

      I’ve had a rule about girls and their friends for several years now, but this post gives me cause to augment it. Once again, this blog gives us something else to think about…


  33. Also be wary when a woman has female divorcee friends, particularly friends with few prospects as these bitter, angry bitches will often do what they can to secretly ensure that their single friend stays single.


  34. If you’re planning on building or maintaining an MLTR in one metro area, I would advise any man to think twice about meeting a young hottie’s spies…er, I mean friends and family members, if she’s the jealous type who wants an exclusive relationship.

    All it takes is one of these people to spot you coming out of a restaurant with another woman when you said you were working late and you’re in drama city.

    If she’s not the jealous type or you’ve told her from the start that she’s not exclusive, she could be someone who will actually share her girlfriends with you if you insist (the pre-selection attracts her friends). This will happen where women vastly outnumber men and also don’t hate men. I’ll assume DC and London don’t fit this description.


  35. on September 9, 2011 at 4:19 am Dead Eyed Dick

    On the whole, a fairly good list. But the next post should deal with the best way to bail from one of these ladies.


  36. My LTR (2 years) has changed a bit. When we met, she had mixed friends. Now, the locals are all girl friends, and they have high relationship morals. So that’s VERY good. My LTR is actually the craziest girl in their group.

    She also has an old childhood friend who lives abroad, and who’s a real slut. She often speaks of her as “her best friend” though they meet only once every year. They used to party together and bang lots of guys when she was younger, before she met me. Really slutty behaviour.

    I can’t summarize all the info I have on my LTR and our history together, but I know for sure she isn’t cheating on me now. I wouldn’t really be surprised if she cheated on me the first six months though. My LTR game was as bad as it could be, I was insecure, jealous and controlling (because she had so many slut-alerts flashing before my eyes). That plus her extreme need to feel “free” and in control just fueled everything into a negative spiral of jealousy and display of lower value.

    But in the end, I don’t know. I’d say there was a 10-15% chance that she might have cheated on me in the early stages, and now that risk is probably down to zero. It’s annoying that I can’t know for sure though. If I found out she did cheat I would throw her shit out the window.


  37. What’s important for me to add here is that her girlfriends were single when our LTR started. So they still hung out on their terms. It wasn’t until her girlfriends got boyfriends (we all hang out together now) that the means of socializing changed from 90% party and 10% non party activities to the reverse.

    I don’t know if there’s anything to make of that? My LTR also told me “I don’t want to become that girl who becomes boring just because she’s got a boyfriend.” But when her girlfriends also got into LTR’s, then suddenly it was OK to become boring.


  38. “Girls with no friends are often brooding emo types, or cutters, and they may go batshit crazy if you dump them. Have a restraining order ready.”

    Girls like that also often have a small circle of friends who are weirdos like themselves. And those are less lonely and you might not need the restraining order.


  39. The Girl with Mostly Gay Guy Friends – Elaborate on the big red flag with gay friends?


  40. Recent divorced man perspective:

    Be particularly wary of girls with a number of divorced friends. Have one or two in a circle of friends in normal in this day and age, but where they are the dominant voices in your girl’s social sphere, it’s a big problem. Sure, they will all say they hate divorce, because its a terrible experience, but more often than not they were the ones that chose that path and will attempt to normalize their decision.

    I think the most valuable piece of advice in Heartiste’s post is to always remember that females are the lemming gender. Even the confident ones define themselves by external validation/criticism. If a girl has stupid friends, you’re in trouble.


    • Any prostitute or bar skank friends are forbidden. A red flag, of course, and if you continue on anyway, those friends and friends of those friends are completely forbidden.


  41. Honestly, this applies to men too. Ladies should watch to see what kind of friends their men keep. Like it or not, he WILL be influenced by them, whether for good or for bad.


  42. on September 9, 2011 at 12:15 pm greatbooksformen GBFM

    hehyeyehe rosiissy heartistse! you missplelssded misspleeled a few words.
    i had some fre eitme today so i corrected ite efor you! ! Lzozllzlzlzzl

    My hope with this post is to impress upon the male reader the importance of not only butthexing girls for LTR potential, but of butthexxixng over a girl’s friends, man or woman, if you intend to date butthexxt beyond the customary three weeks. While it appeals to a certain renegade male mindset to butthehehxxx a girl and pay no heed to her extraneous social life, it’s always better to have her friends on the inside of the tent buttthexing out, than outside buttthehexingxnx in. Girls, being the lemming sex, rely more heavily than men do on the judgment of their friends’ opinions about their boyfriends. If she is someone you could butttehehxt for the long haul, best to butthetxtxh her social circle eagerly. If nothing else, you have butthexed any future sabotage. More likely, you have butetehxed a new group of friends. And if your girlfriend is coo with butthextxtl, then the solid bet is that her friends are cool with buttehehx, too.


  43. on September 9, 2011 at 1:33 pm greatbooksformen GBFM

    lzozozl zi mieissed someeiething1!!!!!

    While it appeals to a certain renegade male mindset to butthehehxxx a girl and pay no heed to her extraneous (extra-anus lzozozzlzozlzozlz) social life, it’s always better to have her friends on the inside of the tent buttthexing out, than outside buttthehexingxnx in.

    thisisii ssusmmmer i did conducted sicenetif researhchehes with a soul meter lzolzlzzz

    the soul meter measuredd a girls sosull as she was buttehexed by a neoocn secrteive taper of butthex who iss sluadeed by chalrlroet aallen thea ndnd teh weekly neoeocn tstandth lzozlzozozo

    asthe lotsa cockas wnet in and out in and out in and out of her bunghole anauth lzozllz the osul meter wnet down, down , dwon down lzozlz down faster tahn a hottie hipster chcickc on the gbfm’s didkckc zozlzllzozlzlzlzzolzozozlzoz

    so feleleass if you don’t want to get assocked in divroce court by a osulleslsls benenrkaified chcick lzozozlzol by a soulless ebernaankified chicckk make sure to chcocosse a chccickk hwwoow hasn’t been sododnoixed and assocked in ther coleleg year sby neoeocn assococking assockeieiers assocockekekrks, zozlz lozlzzlz


  44. “Woman Calls Ex-Boyfriend 65,000 Times”



  45. I was actually astounded at how spot on some of these inferences were. “Friend amount” is actually quite accurate judge of a womans mental acuity.

    Only problem is this is only possible to tell once you have known her for a while. A simple browse of her friends list can’t glean the information necessary.

    I particularly liked the “The Girl with One or Two Player Friends” i know a couple girls like this, i can definately relate…


  46. @Ernst Hof

    Sounds like your girl did cheat on you. But also sounds doubtful that you would throw her out even if you found evidence.


  47. “soulless bernankefied chick”?



  48. Excellent work. Crisp analysis. This helps us flag the nutjobs…. but why not just use a keylogger instead of postulate? Most other posts don’t deal with the ubiquity of mental disorders among single women. The nadir is from 25-35, when most single women would benefit from institutionalization or heavy therapy/meds. Finding wifey when she is 18 is a nice way to shelter her from the trauma and chaos that is being a single woman in 2011.


    • 19is2old,

      I think you’re very right about the mental illness between 25-35. I’m already completely hysterical and it’s getting worse. I know single girls who are a few years older – some of them are constantly anxious. It’s really sad to know that anyone would stick it in my wet hole but I probably can’t make anyone to fall in love with me anymore. I’m really nervous, but I doubt that anti-anxiety medication would help me – they can’t make the real problem go away. Recently I’ve noticed that food gives me some comfort, at least when I eat and maybe for half an hour after that – when I’m very full my brain switches off the anxiety and I become a little sleepy. But it doesn’t last for long. Which is probably OK – I just go on a short vacation when I’m most nervous and after I relax I can live normally again.


  49. on September 9, 2011 at 3:39 pm N.M. Rothschild

    Dear greatbooksformen GBFM;

    Knock it off with that annoying internet lingo garbage. I come here for intellegent discussion, not your useless fucking drivel.


    • on September 9, 2011 at 4:37 pm greatbooksformen GBFM


      Dear Beernankskeke coucsisn;

      Whack it off with that annoying internet lingo garbage. I come here for intellegent butthexxxhxhxhx, not your useless fucking drivel.


      • @GBFM:

        With a name like N.M. Rothschild, the poster is probably just joking.

        In any event, you are a Chateau original, and most folks here are your ardent readers.

        lolzozlzlzlzlzl on !


  50. Rothschild,

    Funny name! Here’s GBFM on women:

    would you drink out of a coke bottle which had a cock in it?

    Here he is on marriage:

    omng lzozlzlzl you said marriage!!!

    You disagree?


  51. Dear N.M. Rotschild.

    Knock it off with not getting the point. I came here for intelligent discussion and seeing patterns of behaviors that would be conducive to my gamesmanship Little schlubs like yourself mustn’t disrespect your superiors and elders who communicate through a more effective language, the bitter truths of life. GBFM is the one and only Chateau emissary.


    • Not getting the point is a past time for some. Deliberately, obstinately obtuse, as if it were some sort of clever type of snarky wit to pretend to not understand.


  52. on September 9, 2011 at 6:11 pm N.M. Rothschild


    Hey Farti, ….your retarded bang buddy GBFM needs to learn grammar and spelling. And you………need a bitch slap right upside the head.


  53. I bow my head to a master of social analysis. All hail Roissy!


  54. I personally feel like I have no friends, I have a lot of acquaintances, my sisters are my heart and soul friends, I have one best friend, I’ve tried many times to make guy friends (they won’t be friends with me), I can’t stand gay men, I have 4 lesbian friends, and I could be part of the cool people group but don’t want to be, “cool” people are annoying.

    Where do I fit in?


  55. Heartiste, you are heartless.

    How can you recommend your readers they should use a girl without friends for a “three month festival of zero-cost (!!!) fornication”?!
    A girl without friends needs friendship not pumps and dumps. They already have serious problems and being dumped by their boyfriend after a “three month festival of zero-cost fornication” could push them into serious depression.
    I’ve seen normal girls considering suicide after their boyfriend dumped them after they had sex with them… I can’t imagine what could happen to girls who have no friends :S

    “Men think her social isolation means she will be an easy lay.”
    That’s very true. I used to be without friends in the past (because I was so ashamed of my secrets and I didn’t want anyone to know about them) and my social isolation and craving for human connection was probably very apparent – I constantly got hit on by men who thought I’m an easy lay :S

    “The Girl with No Close Friends, Only Acquaintances
    LTR worthiness: Pump and dump”

    I think we already know that no girl wants to be pumped and dumped … :S



  56. It’s not nice from you to recommend people should use lonely girls without friends for “three month festival of zero-cost fornication”. OK, I know this was one of your cynical jokes but I’m afraid most readers don’t get it.

    “Men think her social isolation means she will be an easy lay.”

    I used to be without friends when I was younger (because I was so ashamed of my secrets that I didn’t want anyone to come close to me) and men really did think I’m an easy lay. It was very scary.


    • Happened to me as well. But I was an extremely non-easy lay (nobody got anywhere), and I’m glad my friendlessness was counteracted by fear of sex, so I didn’t get used. Haha.


      • I have a theory that this becomes more apparent when you go south. You are from Norway and all Scandinavian guys are super sweet, polite and smart. Go south for a few thousand kilometers and maybe you’ll notice how men prey on lonely girls. It’s incredible. I used to be alone (and very lonely) in Mediterranean countries a few times and I was surprised that I got hit on all the time. It wasn’t because of my looks (they don’t like pale girls like me) but because of the social isolation, I’m sure. I had so many bad experience that I decided I’m never going anywhere south again. Well, this is just some theory I made up, but I really noticed the difference. I had problems at home as well – I really was considered as an easy lay when I was younger. I think there’s something with my behavior as well. Also, I always looked a bit sad and depressed (which I was) and I really was craving for human connection. Maybe all this made them think I’m going to put out immediately (like in a few hours from the moment we met). That’s really interesting, because it was written on this blog as well that girls like cutters will put out on a first date, but I don’t know whether this was a joke (most likely) or a real observation. If it was the latter I’m really surprised what loneliness can make to you. I’ve read somewhere that girls from broken families start having sex much earlier than those who live in happy families. Maybe the lack of love in their families forces them to look for love somewhere else. Unfortunately, nobody explains them that for guys sex is not love as it is for us girls.


      • Italians and Greeks will hit and anything and everything. Italian men are really amusing to watch. Most have great game.


      • I wasn’t hit on by Norwegians. Just black guys and some eastern europeans and middle eastern guys. But black african guys the most.


  57. You make it sound as if it is somehow bad to be in a long-term relationship with an intelligent girl. Short-term relationships are obviously a different matter, but I believe that, after those 18 months of infatuation is over, you need to have more to a long-term relationship than just “girl activities.”

    Myself, I have three must-have characteristics in any woman I marry: physical fitness (I work out every day), an IQ of at least 130 (mine is 145), and the energy to do more than sit around the house during free time (I’ve been involved in many clubs and organizations). Since the odds of finding someone with all three attributes are incredibly low, that probably means I will never get married.

    But I require those attributes because I see the people around me who “settled” for less, and ended up living lives of disappointment. My grandfather attended some 10 colleges, and married someone with a middle-school education. He said many times that while his wife had been great to him by always having dinner on the table when he got home, he wished he had someone to talk to around the house about meaningful things. I can’t imagine a more depressing situation than that – having a wife but being completely unable to talk to her about more than the weather.

    [Heartiste: Intelligence is overrated as a female attractiveness trait. Most smart men feel perfectly fine with hot women who might be 10 or 20 points lower than them in IQ. However, once the IQ disparity reaches beyond -20 points troubles like the one you describe your grandfather having start to appear.]


  58. […] Epilogue.”Dan Michaels – “War in the Caucasus”Heartiste – “Judging a Girl by the Friends She Keeps”Dangerandplay – “How I Respond to Shit Tests“, “Go for the […]


  59. You’re way off buddy. My wife has no closed friends because her husband (me) is the center of her world, as it should be. Sorry my friend but you have some fem believes that prevent you from experiencing a great male female dynamic.


  60. He may be the center, but my world has a periphery, and I think he’s glad of that.


  61. Well, after multiple lessons bringing me ever so closer to Alphadom, I finally get to read a post that I get to smile, nod, and appreciate the fact that I learned it years ago, even in betadom. The main lesson I learned was, NEVER EVER LTR A GIRL WITH NO FRIENDS!!!


  62. Most of my friends are guys — gay, straight, whatever. I’m not really plain-looking.

    I really want more girlfriends. Most girls eventually get Buffalo-Bill crazy or act hurt/angry when I can’t attend every little event or cater to their drama.

    Guys are just less stressful. Gays tend to be the least stressful because of the attraction thing mentioned. They’re fun and low-pressure for the most part.

    Any girls reading…am I alone on this? Aren’t we supposed to be having fun with our friends?

    If anyone wants to (kindly) advise me on the girlfriend thing, that’d be nice.


  63. Alli,
    You’re not alone. The only thing I’ve found to counteract this is to have female friends much older than me: being more than just the babysitter, etc. But it doesn’t solve everything: desire to have girlfriends close to your own age. The only solution is to cram your schedule so full, you don’t have time to socialize 🙂 Or attend every single event, etc. and befriend the least drama intensive females.


    • Thanks so much. Great advice. I will make efforts with older girlfriends and see how that goes. Full schedule is already in place, so I don’t focus on it often, but this post made me think about it.




  64. I’m ok w/ older women as friends, as an only child I was always around adults. they somehow make the best long term friends and can advise me when I need guidance. I didn’t have much of a mother so after a few years I’m their pseudo daughter. my best friend lives 5 states away and we email and what not but its not the same. I miss her. My mother? I honor her but she mistreats me.

    Pslam 1 has kept me from the wrong pple. The road is straight and ever narrower….Like I 2 pray 4 pple and leave them alone, I wish they’d do 1 of the 2 for me and just let me be. Luckily, society is so disengaged, screwed up and suffering from soft kills, the adherence to friend worship and popularity is dying…as more and more pple have only superficial relationships.


  65. Ah, my hamster stopped spinning, things became clearer…I think what I like to do the most socially is pray for pple, occasionally encourage the good they do, leave them alone and maybe love them from a distance.

    LP = idiot, it only took me 5 full mins for that to come to me.