Flirting Trumps Looks

Are you an incorrigible flirt? Because if you’re not, you should be. ♥Science♥ has discovered that flirting trumps looks as a courtship strategy for getting laid and getting loved.

Does flirting actually work?

Very much so. In fact, research says it’s more effective than looking good.

Signaling availability and interest trumps attractiveness.

Dr. Monica Moore, a psychologist at Webster University in St. Louis, has conducted research on the flirting techniques used in singles bars, shopping malls, and places young people go to meet each other.

She concluded that it’s not the most physically appealing people who get approached, but the ones who signal their availability and confidence through basic flirting techniques like eye contact and smiles.

“Flirting” is really the old school term for “game”. If you had to describe the panoply of game techniques and strategies in one everyday word, “flirting” would fit. Charismatic flirting, that is. There’s good and bad flirting, and the thrust of game is to teach men how to flirt well.

What type of flirting works best?

Two types of flirting are universal: smiling and eye contact are indicators pretty much everywhere and work for both sexes.

A classic beta male tell is an inability to hold eye contact to the point of tantalizing discomfort.

But what works better than anything else?


And research has isolated which types of touching are regarded as “merely friendly”, in the zone of “plausible deniability”, or “going nuclear.”

Another game principle victoriously vindicated.

  • Friendly: Shoulder push, shoulder tap, handshake.
  • Plausible Deniability: Touch around the shoulder or waist, touch on the forearm.
  • Nuclear: Face touch.

The behavior that participants rated as reflecting the most flirtation and the most romantic attraction was the soft face touch, followed by the touch around the shoulder or waist, and then the soft touch on the forearm.

The least flirtatious and romantic touches were the shoulder push, shoulder tap, and handshake. Thus, touching that is gentle and informal, and that occurs face-to-face or involves “hugging” behavior, appears to convey the most relational intent.

You gotta love science that points up a glaring disconnect between what turns on women in the real world (presumptuous touching) and what rabid feminist cunts shriek is evidence of an oppressive OMG RAPE!! culture as envisioned in the fever swamps of their twisted fantasies.

The effectiveness of flirting is somewhat context-dependent.

Behavior is perceived differently in different locations. The more formal the setting, the more obvious you need to be to get the signal across.

Via The Mating Game: A Primer on Love, Sex, and Marriage:

For each scenario, participants indicated whether they believed the stranger was flirting with them or not. The results revealed significantly higher percentages of “yes” (i.e., flirting) responses when the stranger was in the restaurant bar as opposed to the school hallway (61% vs. 49%)…

Daygame players take heed. You’ll have to amp your flirting level when hitting on girls during the daytime, outdoors. Otherwise, she might not take the hint.

Here’s some more juicy research which shows that, for men, their social dominance is more important than their looks when attracting a mate.

Research has shown that flirting which emphasizes physical attractiveness has little effect when males do it.

The flirting that is most effective for men involves displays of social dominance.

Via Close Relationships:

The results indicated that the men who successfully initiated romantic contact with women exhibited a greater number of particular kinds of nonverbal flirting behavior than men who did not establish romantic contact. Specifically, successful men directed more brief glances at their intended, engaged in a greater number of “space maximization” movements (positioning the body so that it takes up more space; e.g., extending one arm across an adjacent chair, stretching so that both arms extend straight up in the air), changed their location in the bar more frequently, and displayed greater amounts of non-reciprocated touching to surrounding men (e.g., playfully shoving, touching, or elbowing the ribs of other men).

In discussing their findings, the researchers concluded that men who provide signals of their positive intentions (e.g., through glancing behaviors) and their status (e.g., through space maximization and non-reciprocated touch of male peers) receive preferential attention from women.

Readers often ask, “How do you square the advice to communicate intention with the seemingly contradictory advice to appear disinterested?” Well, this is how. You demonstrate “active disinterest”. Bold players show intention, but they also signal their status through displays of dominance that are often proxies for communicating an attitude of outcome independence.

And how do you know if you’re spitting tight game?

How do you know if it’s working? When you start talking to her, ask yourself: “Is she speaking smoothly and quickly?”

Because MIT research says that’s a very good sign.

Fast talking is low status. A girl who is in the lower status position is a girl who is in thrall to your higher status male allure.

Beta males often complain that women never notice their interest. One reason might be because beta males really aren’t good at subcommunicating their sexual intention.

Researchers have documented a bias where people think they’re being clear about their intentions but, in reality, nobody but them thinks they’re flirting.

Via The Mating Game: A Primer on Love, Sex, and Marriage:

A more recent series of investigations by Vorauer and her colleagues (Vorauer, Cameron, Holmes, & Pearce, 2003) demonstrated that the fear of being rejected by a potential partner can produce yet another pernicious attributional bias.

The “signal amplification bias” occurs when people believe that their social overtures communicate more romantic interest to potential partners than is actually the case and thus fail to realize that they have not adequately conveyed their feelings of attraction.

You may need to amp it up, even if that makes you a bit uncomfortable.

Fear is the mindkiller. Fear of rejection is the lovekiller. Alpha males have less fear of rejection because they operate from a mentality of abundance, (“No worries, if I don’t get her, there are plenty more waiting for the pleasure of my company”). This abundance mentality is honed from years of experience dealing with women. Beta males, in sorry contrast, have less experience with women, and so each potential rejection in the field matters a lot more to them. They approach women with a scarcity mentality, and this results in an excessive concern for appearing “too forward”, lest the beta male provoke the wrath of his idolized object of deference. The alpha male doesn’t give a crap about provoking wrath; in fact, he welcomes it, as the cascading drama gives him an opportunity to display his sexy bona fides.

♥Science♥ has now proven the efficacy of Poon Commandment XIIIErr on the side of too much boldness, rather than too little. Beta males new to the game must first unlearn decades of bad habits by striving to be acutely aware of how poorly their tepid flirtations are received by women. To succeed, the beta male must commit himself to reaching beyond the comfy boundaries of his beta bubble. He has to be ready to provoke romantic rejection, and in the so doing will achieve, paradoxically, more love in his life.


  1. So the more formal the setting, the more overt the behavior must be. That’s the opposite of my habitual behavior, gotta work on that …

    My 12 year old son gets in trouble at school whenever he touches someone. The teachers and especially administration are alarmed.

    At this age it’s guys he is touching. Girls, to the extent it matters, are yucky. Come to think of it, if he can keep that attitude consistently until his late 20’s, he should have a smooth go of it.

    Anyway, the school is determined to teach beta (or lower, fear based) behavior. Also the rule now is that if you’re attacked you cannot fight back.


    • Can’t even imagine getting punched and just running away.


    • on October 29, 2013 at 3:22 pm Hugh G. Rection

      Also the rule now is that if you’re attacked you cannot fight back.

      Nice way to prepare boys for a life of getting ass-raped by the government.


      • I wouldn’t joke about this shit.

        That’s EXACTLY what these nihilists are up to.

        Everything you poke fun about the nihilists is actually the God’s Honest Truth about them.


        A man who allows his children to be inculcated in pure unadulterated nihilism, every single day, by a coven of porcine salt-n-pepper mulleted Toxoplasma gondii-ed swiss-cheese-brained bolshevik bulldyke witches, is a man who has utterly and completely failed at his single most important task in life.

        His only God-given responsibility which truly matters.

        So either homeschool your progeny, or else just call it quits, and stick a gun in your mouth and pull the damned trigger.


      • Why the fuck is my comment “awaiting moderation”?

        Is it because WordPress is so fucking politically correct that they try to sensor words like “gun” and “trigger”?

        Jesus. Titty. Fucking. Christ.


      • Jesus fucked a donkey raping shit eater Nazi cumfart with a purple saguaro. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck goddamn motherfucking dick shit cock rape. Then he pulled the trigger on the gun.

        The censor appears to be in absence.


      • Oh God, he said Nazi…


      • Godwin’s Law invoked.


      • Ad Schickelgruberum!


      • It is a thing of mystery man. I’m serious. Sometimes my shit gets caught up for literally NOTHING at all. Other times, well, see Troubadour below…


      • I think you underestimate a few things, like my ability to discuss and deconstruct the brainwashing, the value of taking certain classes that I cannot teach at home (French, English composition), the value of participating in sports, and even the value of making friends with others of his age. It’s harder to do all this if you’re not there. School is where the kids are during the school day.

        There’s more, but it’s personal and I don’t choose to discuss it here.

        Don’t go off the deep end, dude. There are assholes and decent people in school. Sort of like life. Don’t assume you know what God wants me to do. But I respect your opinion for its sincerity, if not for its level of information.


    • on October 29, 2013 at 5:37 pm Modern Primitive

      I remember being suspended in highschool because I punched a guy who had punched me first.


      • Me too. If I had known they didn’t care who started it, I would have slammed his head through the fish tank.


    • I tell my son to fight back, even if he gets in trouble at school. He won’t be in trouble with me as long as he doesn’t start it.


    • At 12 years old (7th grade) i was slapping girls butts and trying to cop feels here and there.

      They haven’t been yucky since 9 or 10 years old


  2. “Fear is the mindkiller.”

    Become the Kwisatz Haderach!


    • ^^^— You nailed it bro. Love the Dune reference because as much as anyone might say otherwise Paul Atriedes was the ultimate alpha. Never read the books but the movie told me all I needed to know. Fuck your Gom Jabbar AND “Try looking into that place where you dare not look! You’ll find me there, staring out at you! ” ME, folding space and time in a realm no vag has ever entered.

      And ultimately- “Paul next uses the gom jabbar as a pointed analogy when he tells Mohiam, “I remember your gom jabbar. Now you remember mine – I can kill you with a word.” Pinnacle Apex Predator.

      Ever been in a bar fight, it is up close and personal and sucks. “I will bend like a reed in the wind”


  3. “Are you an incorrigible flirt?”

    I am. The problem in this pornified, spergy culture is that younger women who are any good at it are few and far between. It’s all over the top atomic masculinized shit tests and slut tells, none of the subtilty that is necessary to make flirting enjoyable. Of course there should be some tension and a certain adversarial nature to flirting. The problem is that the grrrlpower generation are socially retarded to the point of bitchiness and they flirt in the same, pseudo masculine manner they conduct the rest of their lives with. When I do find a girl who is good at it I flirt mercilessly, even if I have no intention or opportunity to escalate, but just because it’s fun.


    • Thank god. I thought that I was the only one who had noticed this.


    • Sounds like you have found a way to justify why you can’t flirt effectively.

      Even the most incorrigible grrltank grrlpower lawyer bitch reads shades of grey, you know? She gets off on that shit too, no matter how much she might want to deny it.


    • next stop “justification station”, population one spergy anon (you).


      • Seriously man, you could be more constructive. Sounds like you dish out advice not for the benefit of others or for the benefit of the discussion, but to show your ego how “Alpha” you are.


      • Low self-esteem, needs to compensate by showing how alpha he is. Must be that time of the month. I smell a pmsing bitch a maaaile away 😉


      • Aww… how becoming of you.


      • I couldn’t help it; it just fell into my lap. But, I’ll use “bitch tits” next time 😆
        A lot of touchiness going around lately.


      • Lily, you know, I like being touched and reciprocating the favour. Sometimes, I say NO, but I don’t like saying NO to it.


      • All kidding aside, what if a girl was being too presumptuous and touched you before you touched her, and let’s assume she’s not your type? You would say no to it, and be irritated to boot.

        Now, what if she were hot, but she was being aggressive and sexual and touched you a lot, you’d enjoy it, but figure correctly that she is good for a ONS.

        To avoid running into these two situations, I think it’s better for a girl to wait for the guy to initiate touch, so she doesn’t mistake his interest, or sends him the wrong signals.

        That said, touch is very important. A man crazy for a woman, can’t get his hands off her. And, if she loves him, she reciprocates. And, a woman that doesn’t enjoy your touch doesn’t love you.


      • To avoid running into these situations in the first place I recommend not being a total slut. Girls aren’t listening. So I improvise. Sluts are the modern version of stress releasing whores, that’s all.

        But all that aside, I happen to agree with your big essay there. I just wonder where you think the disagreement is.


      • We have no disagreement. I was just expanding on what you said. Ultimately, it’s women’s fault. Being sexually easy is encroaching into male domain. A slut gets treated exactly as she deserves, a stress releasing whore.


      • you gotta identify and map the problem before you can fix it, ace.


      • conjunction junction, what’s your function you fairy


    • It’s likely they don’t feel chemistry with you. It’s so much easier to flirt when there’s already some chemistry there.


    • Then focus your attention on women 35 and up — problem solved! It is true that younger women for the most part have zero ability to conversate in meatspace and are much more comfewtable texting their every social interaction. If I flirt or even just joke around with a younger woman, she’ll usually just stare at me vacantly with her mouth partially open as if I just spoke to her in Russian. They are, truly and clinically, social retards for the most part.


      • Cause I want younger, hotter, tighter just like you young guys. But trying to act like a bro at my age and dropping a PUA DHV on an HB8 is just gonna be as incongruent and silly as it sounds. I’m realistic about my options and my intent in the orignal post was just an observation, not sour grapes. The thing is I’m not even talking about the hotties(or the club sluts lolz) I never pulled those even when I was younger, but the cute type I could reasonably get when I was in my twenties and so were they.

        I know, I know, adapt or get out.


    • Spot on. This is my biggest problem with American women under 25. The physical cues might be there, but you simply can not talk to them. It’s like watering yourself down.


  4. “it’s not the most physically appealing people who get approached, but the ones who signal their availability and confidence through basic flirting techniques like eye contact and smiles.”

    For women, I get the impression that the girls most willing to flirt get more attention from guys who want one night stands or stands (as opposed to the best looking girls).

    For better or for worse, I am severely non flirtatious in person. I can’t bring myself to warm up to guys that try to talk to me. I don’t think I am rude, but I think I seem highly non responsive to them.


    • “For women, I get the impression that the girls most willing to flirt get more attention from guys who want one night stands or stands (as opposed to the best looking girls).”

      It depends on the kind of flirting a girl is engaged in.

      I don’t recommend girls touch men or initiate physical contact as flirting. Smiling and eye contact are better. Otherwise, you risk appearing like you’re trying too hard or coming on too strong. I think it’s better for girls to play a bit coy, especially if they’re aiming for a relationship. A bit of shyness in a girl is seen as more feminine. The “coming on too strong” vixen is more for one-night stands.

      Touching works very well for men though. It’s Ok if he appears like he’s coming on too strong, especially if there is attraction between you, and especially if he doesn’t overdo it and comes off too pushy.

      That said, what’s with the, ““For better or for worse, I am severely non flirtatious in person. I can’t bring myself to warm up to guys that try to talk to me. I don’t think I am rude, but I think I seem highly non responsive to them.” ??? Why be a sourpuss? That’s not good either. You just come off as standoffish. Men don’t approach women that are distant and lack warmth. Even a very beautiful woman, a 10, isn’t going to attract the most bold alpha of suitors with that attitude.

      Include some warmth, sweetness, and shyness when enjoying a night out with friends, and you’ll attract many guys. Then you can sift through who wants a one nighter, and who wants something more meaningful.


    • I find that very hard to believe.


      • #sadbuttrue

        It’s not that contrary to what you see actually. IRL I am a deeply reclusive person that rarely speaks to anyone besides my boyfriend (and my co workers during the day). I rarely socialize in a group setting, and when I do, I almost never speak to men. Aside from my romantic relationship, I largely replace real life companionship with the blogosphere. Flirting requires an openness to new people which is very far from my comfort zone IRL.


      • Why Fem? 😦 Are you shy?

        I guess for a woman flirting will just come naturally with a man she likes… you probably just don”t realize you are doing it 🙂 It just flows.


      • Embs, I wouldn’t really call myself shy. I’m very reclusive and solitary, but my social demeanor is extraverted when I have to interact with people (like at work).

        It’s possible that I don’t realize I flirt when I do, but at bars and parties I basically don’t talk to men.


      • on October 29, 2013 at 3:29 pm Hugh G. Rection

        That’s because you’re not right in the head. I think we established as much.


      • Yeah… a married boyfriend.


      • Oh yeah now I remember this … suddenly a very proper and conventional situation has an unconventional disturbing aspect to it.

        Still, if she feels he’s her boyfriend, it’s right to be exclusive.


      • Well if you have a boyfriend, it’s hard for me to see anything wrong with being standoffish with other guys. I guess she might feel different if she were available. Maybe she’s just naturally not a cock tease, and that’s a plus in my book.


      • Please she is dating a married man, and she constantly complains about needing to leave him. This is not a proper relationship. She wished she could leave him but doesn’t since he is a sugar daddy, both financially and emotionally. She even complains about the sex with him. I told her so many times, to no avail, to leave him and look for someone with potential that she could have a future with.

        Besides, I assure you, her BF is not why she doesn’t flirt. All women flirt and fantasize over other men. The only time a taken woman doesn’t is if she’s so overwhelmed by her man’s masculine alphaness and she is so hot for him, so turned on to him, that he’s the only one she thinks about. This usually happens when her man also makes it clear he won’t take kindly to her mingling with other men. I assure you this is not FemX’s case. She really needs to move on from this man. If she learned to flirt, it might help her make this happen.


    • on October 29, 2013 at 5:45 pm Modern Primitive

      Are you sure you’re not a lesbian?


      • MP,

        Yes, I am sure i am not a lesbian.

        Lesbians do not read twitter updates like the following:

        “When you have a woman at the foot of your bed, simultaneously grab her hair and palm her pussy while kissing her neck. Magic. ”

        And then get subsequently distracted for the entire evening due to fantasizing.


      • I agree. I’ve yet to meet a woman with a 9/10 frame that doesn’t love men completely. A “Waste of talent” if you will… you conceive and understand the sexual dimorphism that makes men utterly attracted to you and visa-versa. Your head and literally your brain are probably awesome as I know you have a very credentialed FB account, but to me, it doesn’t matter at all. From the neck down you look like some muse or goddess of old, as I’m sure your “BF” has told you already. Your raw femininity is of more value and influence than your neck up, sorry to say… I have male co-workers who challenge me mentally. Like CH re-upped recently— men do NOT want to marry a co-worker they want a wife.


  5. i have the sex appeal of stomach cancer but i can flirt like a champ. looks matter more to men than woman. man validate by what they see, i’ll STILL keep chomping at the bit until i get the +1 DESPITE her personality.

    it’s the opposite for women. they’re indifferent to looks, but fall for character, boldness, confidence, strength, and charm. that’s all game is btw: CHARM.

    i get away with shit many guys just can’t understand how i can pull off. it’s simply knowing how to flirt. married women, single women, women in relationships; i flirt with them all.

    that way, when i run across one i want, it’s effortless.


    • “(women are) indifferent to looks”

      This is the drivel of a deluded uggster.

      Please stop while you’re ahead. Since you are not one of us, you have no idea what quality ass a good looking man with serious game can pull, and with such scant amount of effort.


    • dannyfrom504
      i have the sex appeal of stomach cancer

      Maybe its got something to do with you waving a peice around in peoples faces?


    • While that is true, know that all else being equal, any woman will choose a good looking man over an ugly one.

      It’s not that looks matter much. It’s just that your own attitude towards your body matters. For instance, I don’t wear those skinny jeans and I don’t have the six pack. But I don’t have rolls of fat either. What I do have are muscles strong ones. Built over time with lifting of weights, punching bags, and throwing heavy stones over distances.


      • “know that all else being equal, any woman will choose a good looking man over an ugly one.”

        All else is NEVER equal.

        The concept of “what if two guys had the exact same level of game but one was tall/handsome/ripped and the other was short/ugly/fat? THEN WHAT??” is mental masturbation. It doesn’t happen. In every group there’s always one guy who’s 1% better than the guys around him…it might be fleeting and it might change depending on everyone’s state or the people involved or the environment etc., but it’s never equal so this is 100% irrelevant.

        (and when you DO get extremely close to equal, generally what happens is that girls will flirt with both of you because they’re happy getting either of you, or will want to fuck you both at the same time lol I had a better looking taller buddy who, for a few months of our time gaming together, our game skills/value became extremely close, and we ran into this an abnormal amount of times during that period…it was puzzling at first, but it makes sense: the girls’ hypergamy says “both of these guys are better than all the other guys, so whichever one you get is A-OK!” the same way guys would be happy getting either a 10 brunette or a 10 blonde if they were in a 2-set lol)


      • Then women are a bit delusional if their nature is care little about looks, i personally couldn’t do it, i like someone because the personality for friendship, if is for love, of course i would care a lot about looks.


      • on October 29, 2013 at 5:08 pm FuriousFerret

        “if is for love, of course i would care a lot about looks.”

        You along with every other guy on earth.

        “Then women are a bit delusional if their nature is care little about looks”

        Nah, it’s evolutionary smart because women rely on men for everything they have (even in today’s society where they are coddled along with their ‘career’ etc). So high status = high resources = good life for her and her kids.


      • Sorry that this is offtopic, I’m a lurker but really wanted to take a chance to thank you, YaReally. I’m basically an omega male in my late 20s, only been with one girl, met her online and she initiated it lol. Partly due to blue pill social conditioning and partly due to crippling self-esteem, depression, social anxiety type shit. I was way overweight in high school, spergy INTJ ADD kind of personality, was completely asexual and invisible to girls so I just poured myself into videogames. I dropped out of college so I never got that experience at all.

        Within the past couple years I’ve turned it around, losing the weight, getting some basic style or at least wearing shit that fits, getting proficient in martial arts/combat sports to develop that kind of confidence. I’m still trying to figure out what i want for a career and I am working past the shame and guilt or whatever and accepting that its ok to have sexual desires lol. It’s really about self improvement and becoming a complete actualized person in all areas.

        I knew about pickup for a few years but never really wanted to accept it. That was the blue pill working. Stumbled on CH and Rational Male a month or two ago and stayed up many nights pouring through the archives, my mind being blown over and over lol. Still kind of resistant to it though, men really are the true romantics. Then I read your archives all the way through and all the ideas and concepts you conveyed have really started to sink in and click, I had so many moments at like 4am reading your shit in the dark, too excited to stop and go to sleep, where I was laughing maniacally at how your insights were explaining shit i had never understood so easily, those puzzle piece moments you talk about.

        anyway, I haven’t built up to cold approaching yet, but I’m going out a lot in the day and forcing myself to make and hold eye contact with people, talking to clerks etc, occasional older people or guys lol. Getting out of my comfort zone, building up positive reference experiences to keep pushing farther. Actually saw a lot of success incorporating alpha traits and game concepts into my interactions at work, the only place I ever get to talk to women. Blew my mind when I realized I was prompting them to shit test me and actually making them attracted by passing the tests and practicing some kino.

        GODDAMN this got way too long, and also its probably the most gushing, fanboyish thing i’ve ever written haha. Just wanted you to know your efforts on here are having a positive effect on people out in the world. I’m really going to try and develop this skillset and a more positive mindset, to believe I can live a life that I deserve. cheers!


      • @blotter

        Props on handling your life. Comments like this are why I schedule my time and priorities to be able to write as much as I do. When I was where you are, some kind people helped me out and my life now is something I couldn’t have even imagined was possible back then…it was something from movies or that other guys who were just born lucky got to have.

        You’ll go through highs and lows on your journey, and overall this’ll be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do in your life…but the rewards will be worth it one day.

        Don’t beat yourself up if it takes a while. You’re digging out of a hole and re-wiring conditioning that society will keep trying to wire back in place…it’s not an overnight thing. Every second you hold eye contact, every time you crack a joke to a store clerk, every random person who’s life you add a little value to, it’s all baby-steps of progress.

        Understand that as helpful as my writing has been, YOU are the one who’s responsible for turning your life around. You’re the one taking action day to day and slowly taking control of your life back from society and social conditioning. That’s something you should be extremely proud of.

        Most people spend their lives simply pinging off their environment and using movies, videogames, reality TV, etc. to escape their unsatisfactory lives while they simply wait to die. You’re doing something with your life that most people don’t have the drive to even attempt. Stick with it, it all just gets better and better…you’ve got a solid *20 YEARS* of a new life ahead of you. That’s like getting all the time you’ve had from 10 years old till now all over again. That’s practically a second life, but lived on YOUR terms this time.

        Here’s Tyler talking about celebrating the little victories, starting at 1:51 in this vid:

        “I’m really going to try and develop this skillset and a more positive mindset, to believe I can live a life that I deserve.”

        With this attitude, you’ll be just fine. 🙂 Good luck!


      • @YaReally

        Did you miss the part where I said, “It’s not that looks matter much. It’s just that your own attitude towards your body matters”?


      • Nope. I was just addressing the nonsense “fact” in your first paragraph.


      • You take everything way too seriously dude. Chill.


      • I don’t like the spread of misinformation that helps guys re-enforce their socially conditioned excuses to not try. Even as a joke, there are guys who will read that and not have the experience to understand its a joke and will instead go “see, I KNEW it!” and act like that Patrice guy. I DO take that seriously.

        It’s nothing personal…I’d call it out even if CH himself said it.


      • Is it your opinion then, that a man shouldn’t take care of his health, and let himself bloat away like the Millions of Land Whales that are currently found in what was once glorious America?


      • He should take care of himself because he cares about himself and for his own health/longevity (and so he can fuck proper), not because he thinks girls will choose a hotter guy over him. And he should make socializing and approaching women a high priority and find time to do it regularly even if that means slower gains at the gym because he only goes 3 nights a week instead of 7.

        There will always be a guy hotter, more jacked, or richer than you. It’s not a game you can win and you shouldn’t be in it for the wrong reasons, like thinking “if I just get my bodyfat % down low enough THEN I can get girls!!!”

        Or, to return the favor of exaggerating my example into a ridiculous extreme, do you recommend that guys base their entire self worth on their body-fat % and never go out and socialize or talk to women and just spend their lives in the gym and at work banking $ and getting more ripped so that they can feel like they’re worth something as a man based on whether a woman approves of them or not?

        Of course you don’t recommend that, because that would be self-destructive.


      • Yes, well, I was responding to the dude who called himself as being the one who had the sex appeal of cancer or some shit like that.

        There’s always a point of diminishing returns. For me, that would be game, and to a certain extent, even looks. I need to work on wealth and fame now. That’s where major gains will come through for me. Especially fame.

        So it depends upon who you are.

        Of course, if you are bad at everything, then game gets you the fastest results.


    • i have the sex appeal of stomach cancer This is the single most honest thing you’ve posted anywhere, in a long long time and I will give you props for saying it.

      You are the PUA/Game equivalent of a deep seabed wide-cast trawler boat with sea floor trawling nets. When the ship reels the nets back in it will be 70% bottom feeders and crustaceans, 10% mackerel tuna, 10% mid-water high value fish (albacore tuna, cod, some mahi-mahi, etc) and 10% “oops” fish which is your equivalent of scoring an HB8 or higher. I.E. When you dragnet, SOMTEIMES, dolphins, sharks, and other proteceted species get caught in the net.


  6. One thing almost entirely absent from North American game repertoire is (smooth) winking. Which is incredible considering that winking is easy, effortless, and is shamelessly flirtatious in its bold application. So it makes no sense that winking is not used, even if traditionally, it is more of a European thing, with the old school men utilizing it in their everyday arsenal.

    Winking at hot girl is perceived extremely sexy by the target because it’s so forward and unambiguous. It’s a blatantly confident sign of personal interest. But winking at the feminist is a symbol of entire disregard to her *person*. This is incredibly infuriating to her. Which makes it a must. Two birds with the same stone.


    • Direct approach, as always, is high risk and high reward.

      Of course, I do believe at some stage in his life, each man who’s growing through the stages must resort to using direct approaches exclusively so as to completely kill all beta hood fear of rejection. But once that was gone, I found indirect to be much more fun.


    • Great point.

      Have this super-fem sociology teacher. Think she’s a lesbian too. And I’m the only one in the class who challenges the leftist propaganda they like to teach, so I’m basically the most hated guy in the class. Or maybe most loved by a silent majority?

      Either way, I know she doesn’t like me, so whenever I see her I give her a big ol’ smile and a wink.


    • Winking works on many levels. I was at a client’s office doing some work. Was at this chick’s desk, another chick to my left. Girl in front said something kind of retarded. I smirked a bit. Then I cocked my head to the left and winked at the other girl. She literally did a double take and sported a huge smile. Girl in front, then laughed and arm slapped me. Not a word was spoken by me.

      I do a lot of work in offices where there are hordes of cubicle fraus. I practice all kinds of stuff and flirt all the time. It’s a captive audience so to speak, I know they are bored so when I show up it’s exciting for them to have a break from paper shuffling. As I don’t work for any of these places directly I ignore all office politics and political correctness and they eat it up. I’m the most exciting thing to happen to them all day.


  7. on October 29, 2013 at 9:56 am Reservoir Tip

    Crazy what a face touch will do. Was flirting with this girl in class, making faces across the room, staring at each other blah blah. So we’re talking after class, and she’s like, “I’m a lesbian.”

    Now she has short hair, but all the who have been lied to and believe it looks good have that on campus, but she’s not masculine in any other sense.

    So I say, “Yeah… I don’t believe you.” Then I stroke her cheek, she strokes mine back and I we part ways in the hall.

    The stroke back could be her trying to assert a bit of dominance over me though, I feel. Or at least trying to even herself out with me.

    Or she wants some of that straight white male D. What do you all think?


    • I think you should keep it up.
      She’ll either beg you to impregnate her
      Or taser you in the face.
      Plow baby plow.


    • Dude… if you are an alpha male in college/uni right now you are holding all the cards in SPITE of what the dogma is telling you. Yeah she is a “lesbo” so she thinks and probably will end up. But in the meantime in a sea of emasculated males who know that “No means No”, and the Take Back the Night rally is more important than fucking the homecoming queen, you are an anomaly. Be up front and aggresive w/o being a dick. Tell her you are also unsure of your own sexuality but are animally attracted to her in spite of your conflicted feelings. Within 48 hours you will cum on her face and she will likely never take another penis again. This is ok. Mission Accomplished. George W. Bush style.


      • on October 29, 2013 at 9:53 pm Reservoir Tip

        Yeah found CH senior year in HS. Spent all of my Christmas break reading the archives. The results that slight changes in interactions can produce are ridiculous.

        Was talking to some hot Norwegian girl at the time. Probably an 8. I’ve never been SUPER beta, but getting into the 8-10 range is a tougher game.

        Before I didn’t know to “discipline” a girl, and so I gave too much slack. But man… When I started laying down the law with her I got phone calls of apology and all this great shit. It wasn’t me trying to prove anything anymore. It was me, take it or leave it, and I had a solid 8 all upset over me. ❤

        But oh yeah, that lezzz. I'll take your advice and we'll just have to see where it goes. She's waaay taller than me too which makes it even more fun.


  8. Quick question. I’m a recovering beta who at least has some level of daytime game. But I’m always confused about eye contact: does one look her in the eye as per the article, or look away for parts of the conversation? I feel like better eye contact would have helped me have better outcomes in the 2 first dates that I went on last week


    • It depends. Upon the initial approach, you want to be investing heavily in her. So I’d say direct eye contact 80% of the first few minutes. Then you bring it down to 40-60% over time gradually, especially as you start noticing her beginning to invest more and more into the interact.

      Of course 100% EC would be creepy. But when you look into her eyes, look deeply.

      Here’s what I do: When I am saying something to anyone, I look right into their eyes. But when they are talking to me, I look into the distance, only occasionally matching their eye contact. It just doesn’t feel right looking into someone’s eyes when they are talking to me. Feels somehow submissive. But when I talk, I look right into their eyes.

      This has worked for me well in business, dating and elsewhere too.


    • I’m still learning as well. From my experience, though, eye contact is always good.

      To get her hamster going, though, stare off at something mid-conversation, stony look on your face, and hold that stare for several seconds.

      She’ll think, “omg am I boring him? Omg he’s SOOOO mysterious whats he thinking?!!?!” And bonus points if it gets her to turn around and look as well. That means you win.


      • Correct. This is what I just said above. At least a potent extension of it.

        Although, you only want to pull this infrequently. Do this too much, and you risk coming across as plain weird.


      • We’re all still learning, despite what some of the local hardasses would have you believe.
        Points for being honest.


    • you reward her attractiveness with solid eye contact. from there you reward good behavior and intelligent comments with eye contact.

      if not the above, your eyes should be focused on what interests you, even if that is tree in the wind.

      you gotta train em up


    • I’m an Apex Predator Alpha since 19 years old, take this as my experience. 100% Eye contact during any conversation will un-nerve most women utterly. If you are Brad Pitt at 20, maybe, and even then proceed with caution. A recovering beta; you won’t exude the discomfort and danger vibe like moi, but you will exude the creeper vibe most likely. For men, unflinching eye contact is generally a lose-lose when trying to close a girl or even on a first date. Once you have hooked her, the script flips 100% and it is catnip for the pussy. Again, just telling you my own experience, YMMV depending on where you fall in the Alpha+ to Beta- spectrum.


    • I think, if you want a hard rule, never avert your eyes downward. That’s submissive. Looking around a bit while she talks, as long as you’re not spastic and just doing it naturally, and not out of nervousness is fine.

      When you are speaking to her maintain eye contact. As she starts to respond you might take your attention to something else nearby. If she says something interesting zero in back on her.

      When girls are flirting in a conversation they often avert their eyes, usually downward. You’ll know it when you see it.


  9. How does this play into staying aloof and indifferent?


    • Aloofness is NOT about doing nothing. Aloofness is basically outcome independence. You don’t care if she comes home with you. But that doesn’t mean you don’t want to. That just means that if she doesn’t, someone else will.

      That automatically leads to aloofness, amused mastery. Knowing that you can and will bring someone home tonight, that is.


  10. Calibration needs practice, so don’t be afraid to test out different levels on different women. Being new to day game I find myself ever escalating. But I definitely throw out comfort references (I live here, I know these people, went to said university, etc)

    It’s a different ball game from night bar game.


    • Greatest Beta, you need to focus on mysterious game. trust me. you talk to fucking much here i guarantee its costing you girls.

      you are obviously smart so quit proving it. dq dq dq dq yourself. overgaming because you aren’t confident yet. not your fault


      • Oh I got that down bro. Never profer too much info. But day gay requires more disclosure of “safe” facts to fight off the creeper vibe. Don’t you realize women are afraid of men they don’t know? At least that’s my thinking. Completely different from bar scene where it’s “ok” to hook up with a random.


      • i only do day game, and I only chat up 8’s and above. because of that fact alone, they aren’t scared no matter if i stare for 2 mins while I study her, they are interested. in fact, its a fun cold read trick. pick a girl who is good enough for your status and practice cold reads after a nice long stare. they fucking love it because its coming from a guy at their level. thats why i suggest you need to calibrate down with the schtick instead of up.

        you don’t have to act like royalty, you are royalty. genetic royalty.

        more focus on negative space in your arent a guy who needs all that “in state” stuff, thats for the guys with colorful puzzle piece stickers on their “inside” helmet.


  11. on October 29, 2013 at 11:10 am Holden Caulfield

    This post is timely and informative. From personal experience, I’ve also noticed that women with which I’ve had short flings with in the past are still receptive to bold displays of innuendo or even outright, and sometimes, inappropriate flirting. Why is this of interest? ALL of these women are either engaged and living with their partner or married. So guys, don’t forget that approaching new women is of upmost important but also don’t shy away from past flings (note: these were NOT relationships) that could ultimately still prove fruitful, in the very least as an ego boost for new approaches. It will also teach you a thing or two about women, so you’re not caught off guard should you decide to commit.


    • amen to that, the whole past list is available generally, regardless of their situation. at least if you did it right. they’ll crave revisiting that time forever. and they’ll often compartmentalize you as a pre-existing condition that doesn’t count as cheating. the plus side to that is you don’t have to break it off, they’re already situated elsewhere.


  12. We’re so far removed from human nature that we need scientist to inform us of platitudes that were once a given through the generations are now groundbreaking.


    • Right, and the divorce from human nature was arranged by design to set the table for the High Priests of Science in their white lab coats.


      • on October 29, 2013 at 3:36 pm Hugh G. Rection

        I don’t catch your drift.


      • Fact: sexual dimorphism is the underlying structure of happy and healthy human sexuality. This is an immutable reality. The more this reality is acknowledged and cherished, the happier and healthier a society will be. So far, Darwinists can agree with Christians. This is why both groups can cooperate when criticizing Feminism.

        Humanists sought a way to entrench a new religion(s) that could subvert the intuition of eternity/transcendence while still accounting for the universal popularity of sexual dimorphism. Whatever strategy was chosen, it was necessary to establish a religion that would interfere with EITHER 1) humanity’s sense of natural attraction to the vividly opposite sex OR 2) humanity’s sense of the potential for transcendence OR 3) both. Presently we are living in an age in which both religions/strategies have been fully deployed; in which both enjoy impressive levels of influence and dominance in human society; and yet the two religions are uneasy neighbors. They share a common hatred of objective morality, yet they are divided on every other question. If the two dominant religions succeed in eliminating Christianity, which they certainly intend to do, it will become an interesting question as to which one will absorb the other. But this leaves the scope of our discussion.

        Problem: Sexual Dimorphism has a transcendent dimension in it highly offensive to humanists of all stripes, both Feminists and Darwinists. And yet the fact remains unchangeable, despite centuries of protestation. Note that Darwinists are embarrassingly united to Feminists at this point: both groups abominate the Christian idea that certain things in life, such as Sexual Dimorphism, could be unchangeable.

        The Darwinian hypothesis is that HBD/Sexual Dimorphism is an evolutionary boon that might or might not change over the millennia, but that the individual’s health and happiness just so happens to coincide with the extent to which that individual conforms to historic patterns, such as heterosexuality or homogamy, or Alpha slayers getting with HB10s. This has a ring of truth to it, and yet the heart of the matter is that the Darwinist has a religious commitment to the idea that even the apparent durability of Sexual Dimorphism is only an emergent property of Biomechanics, and that its mutability gloriously undermines the notion of a Transcendent Creator. This is the Darwinist’s article of faith, and it is a handy one. For it allows him to indulge fully and honestly in the glory of Sexual Dimorphism while avoiding the inconvenience of a universal moral structure.

        The Feminist hypothesis is that The Way Things Seem is a mirage conjured by a conspiracy of bastards whose only mutual trait was a trivial ‘Y’ chromosome. Hardcore Feminists cannot afford to be Darwinists, for Darwinism makes much of biology as an explanatory matrix of all human behavior. The Feminist finds this doctrine anathema, and fascinatingly enough, attributes its popularity to Biblical Christianity, which in the minds of Feminists is tantamount to Patriarchy/Rape Culture. Never mind that the Feminist account of Christianity is a straw man. The point is that the Feminist account of Sexual Dimorphism shares something in common with the Darwinist account of Sexual Dimorphism. Both groups agree that the possibility of Permanent Transcendence is wicked bunk that must be dispatched forthwith. They differ in strategy, but jibe on the goal.

        The high priests of Feminism declare that all men are potential rapists. What they actually mean/wish is that all men should become actual rapists/Alphas. The high priests of Darwinism declare that in the long run, we’re all dead. What they actually mean/wish is that in the long run, we should all live like there’s no tomorrow. Examining the underlying wishes of these two religions, we notice that they have coopted both of their driving wishes from…Christianity.


      • Abstract masturbation award. “Humanism”– what is that, exactly? If you want to change something, focus on measurables like money or custody division law.


      • Seeing as how you are incapable of doing your own research, I will throw you a bone from wikipedia:

        “Humanism and Its Aspirations subtitled Humanist Manifesto III, a successor to the Humanist Manifesto of 1933 is the most recent of the Humanist Manifestos published in 2003 by the American Humanist Association (AHA). The newest one is much shorter, listing six primary beliefs, which echo themes from its predecessors:
        Knowledge of the world is derived by observation, experimentation, and rational analysis. (See empiricism.)
        Humans are an integral part of nature, the result of unguided evolutionary change.
        Ethical values are derived from human need and interest as tested by experience. (See ethical naturalism.)
        Life’s fulfillment emerges from individual participation in the service of humane ideals.
        Humans are social by nature and find meaning in relationships.
        Working to benefit society maximizes individual happiness.”


  13. Thanks to science we can relearn everything God put into the genders before feminism decided to flip it around and brainwash the masses.


  14. […] [Flirting Trumps Looks] […]


  15. Finally.
    (a positive post on CH)
    Thank you.


  16. This is a very good post. I am a firm believer that flirting is one of the most important aspects of dating, for both men and women. People that know how to flirt are seen as having confidence and great personalities. What good is a gorgeous women with a sourpuss personality? Or, a great looking guy who lacks confidence and is really a beta. The only thing is, flirting has to be shrewd. It can’t be seen as you coming on too strong, especially for the girl.

    Yes, smiling and eye contact are great, for both sexes. However, I don’t recommend girls touch men or initiate physical contact, unless you don’t care if you appear like you’re desperate or coming on too strong. Even a guy looking to score that night, might recoil a bit by such a forthcoming gesture. I think it’s better for girls to play a bit coy, especially if they’re aiming for a relationship. A bit of shyness in a girl is seen as more feminine. The “coming on too strong” vixen is more for one-night stands.

    On the other and, touching works very well for men. It’s Ok if he appears like he’s coming on too strong, especially if there is attraction between you, and especially if he doesn’t overdo it and comes off too pushy. Light touch around the waist, means he’s very attracted to you. Nothing wrong with that.

    I am not sure about the facial touching though. Might be a bit too much for a first-time bar encounter or party. I don’t like strange men touching my face, no matter how much he is attached to me and I am to him. It’s too presumptuous on his part. I rather take it slower. Feather light touches around the waist is great though, especially if you have a nice waist. It makes you feel feminine.


    • what mental gymnastics did you use to force a comment on women touching men? your middle name is solip is it?

      i don’t think you have ever had an Alpha. thats my guess right now.


      • I wish I knew what you’re ranting about. However, as usual, I don’t. Hey, but feel free to continue wasting your time commenting incoherence. It’ll be good practice for you against Matt.


      • Time scale is the critical value here. You are talking 1st encounter and I agree with you. I’ve never had a woman I considered high value touch me on a first encounter, ever. I may have touched her though, and I got a number close at the minimum. HOWEVER, this is a fine line. If I line up a 2nd or 3rd “date” and this bitch doesn’t initiate some kino, she is not for me. And I mean something as simple as me telling a joke, funny or not, and she laughs and grabs my beefy arm. Or we go out dancing and she isn’t afraid to show sexual interest by realizing our bodies can move together, etc.

        If I’m getting the frigid hug by encounter 3, she gets the fuck off. And again, I’m talking GF material here. A girl I want to bang out, is a -totally- different yardstick and if I am not in deep kino by the end of the night it is usually a loss.


      • “You are talking 1st encounter and I agree with you. I’ve never had a woman I considered high value touch me on a first encounter, ever. I may have touched her though, and I got a number close at the minimum.”

        Exactly! Women should not touch a man at first encounter, but men should. Just lightly. Never come off as pushy or “creepy.” I hate that feminist word, but I had to use it to convey a point.

        The thing is, sometimes, girls, instead of having a receptive look when touched by a man, put on a sourly look, which makes him feel as if he did something wrong or he’s about to get bitched out. It’s very important, if a girl likes a guy’s advances, to act receptive.

        2nd date is good for handholding. From a girl’s perspective, that is the best way to first touch a man – when he grabs your hand. Feel his big hand on your skin……have him lead you inside a joint or guide you cross the street……if you like him, it feels nice.

        3rd date is also good for handholding if you didn’t get to it on the 2nd date, maybe even better on the 3rd date, since I think taking it slow when the two of you are highly attracted to each other is a good idea. Of course, if you’re not that into each other, you could lose interest by then. So not jumping too fast into touching, is a good indicator for the girl how much the guy is into her.

        That said, I agree that by the 3rd date touch is mandatory.

        Sizzling sexy dance moves? That’s better for date 4, since this could lead to serious makeout session.


      • Ah the novel demand that men do all the work, and women should not. How surprising, even more surprising that Lazy Lily is unaware she is once again in the gimme camp.


      • I didn’t say the man has to do all the work, and you know it. Stop exaggerating. I said in the beginning it’s best for the man to be the pursuer and the women to be the receiver of his affections. I didn’t realize you like a girl to do your job for you, or be over presumptuous as to your affections before you even had a chance to signal your intentions.

        Not many men think like you, but hey, many women do, and that’s why the sluts are everywhere, even the subway.


      • What prompted this paragraph there St. Clare (patron saint of eye disease because you must have suffered retinal detachment, in no capacity was women touching men ever even mentioned)?

        “However, I don’t recommend girls touch men or initiate physical contact, unless you don’t care if you appear like you’re desperate or coming on too strong. Even a guy looking to score that night, might recoil a bit by such a forthcoming gesture. I think it’s better for girls to play a bit coy, especially if they’re aiming for a relationship. A bit of shyness in a girl is seen as more feminine. The “coming on too strong” vixen is more for one-night stands.”

        there is a reason that in the dictionary lily and narcissus are closely related.


      • Sweet pea, I still don’t know WTH you want. But in the off chance I do understand you, I know this article is flirting from the man’s perspective. But things that involve dating have an interpretation for both men and women.

        All I said was that in an initial encounter, it’s better for the woman to be on the receiving end rather than on the aggressive end when flirting. How’s that not relevant? Why get all bent out of shape, Honeydew? Try acquiring some flexibility.


  17. Fortune favors the bold.


  18. Even (fake) fat guys can flirt:


    • LOLOLL… the bit where he rolls over is hilarious 0:40.. and the bit where he takes her apple and eats it .. 😀


    • Damn, I wish I could I could go back to college knowing what I know now. Back then I was wrapped up in the stupid American/feminist notion that looks are as important for guys as for girls, and I felt unworthy for not being a big, muscular, classically handsome guy. Oh well, better late than never. I’m getting laid more in my 40’s than ever before. Great video.


  19. I wonder if, centuries from now, the CH writings will be unearthed and compiled by meticulous philosophers into a single leather bound book that will outsell even the Holy Bible, and remain a staple of every family’s bookshelves for millenia. Perhaps young children will kneel, pray, and read from it before bed.


    • That’s assuming people will be capable of archeology in the future.
      At the rate we’re heading the third world war will be fought with flung poo and rocks.


      • on October 29, 2013 at 2:31 pm FuriousFerret

        Albert Einstein — ‘I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.’


      • And World War III ended up never happening. So…


      • And, you think we’re out of the woods yet? With everything you see happening around you, don’t you think it’s imminent; hanging over us like the Sword of Damocles?

        Yes, he thought it will be with the Soviets, but who cares who the players end being? Same shit different day. Well, actually, it might be even more dangerous now than it would have been in the 1950s or 1960s.


      • One way to prevent WW3 is to make all potential participants therein so heavily indebted and interdependent that they can’t. It’s a cynical method, but highly effective.


      • Glad someone caught it Ferret


      • Hatriarch for the win, although the contestants today are rather weak. Subway Aspiebator “Appear Smart by Predicting Doom Soon” (without a target date where he’ll be wrong) award.

        Impressing twits since something BC.


  20. Great post.


  21. I’d say you can whittle down a lot of game to that single commandment. Courage, boldness, etc. Never act out of fear — it’s a difficult thing to do though. I still struggle…because the better things get, the more you have to lose. I’m going to have a tough time when I get back to the sarge because now I have this mental image of me with women…and I know it’s going to be completely shit-kicked.


    • Scray, you’ve got to find yourself a good looking female friend that’s cool to hang out with and you can keep from hitting on. Like your buddy’s gf or something. Have her dress up and come out with you, hanging on your arm while you basically ignore her. It’s money. Instant social proof.


    • @Scray

      Just wanted to link some related inspirational real-talk from Tyler on breakups and having to end shit with girls you like:


      • Good advice re: getting your head spun out generally does get you coming out of the gate harder, stronger, and better on all fronts. I remember when my last LTR ended with that Hungarian hottie and though I didn’t get spun out like I would have even 5 years ago, it still fucked me up. It is exactly what dude described “I have peaked, I will never have one this good again.” That was my exact line of reasoning because she was elegant, highly sexual, intelligent, feminine, kind, and hot. By US standards she was a hard 8 but when you factor all the above shit it was deep into 9. The main thing I found is to not let the inertia set in.

        Sitting around moping can become self-reinforcing and then you are really off track. That is a dangerous place, if you can relaunch quickly then you are golden and Tyler is right, you will soon look back with a sort of WTF? about the whole situation.

        As it turned out, I was wrong, and was able to pull of equal caliber once I got back on my game.


      • I love American optimism, but at one point you really will have maxed out. To make a point, think you’ll be banging any 9s at 75?

        Being over 50 and having dated homecoming queens when they were 22 snf me 33, my odds of matching that are not good. But seriously, it may be one of those cases where it’s better to stay delusional than objective. There’s no reward at the end of life for being appropriately pessimistic.


      • This is a great vid. I’m gonna take it slow, tho. I’ve just been having a weird time with these girls. Last night the 6 broke down and admitted she loved me….and I mean, wtf do I do with that? I’m emotionally drained. And then I just feel like the 7is gonna wanna a full commitment any day now. That 7.5 I hooked up with awhile ago is hot but she’s so mannish. Yck. I’d hate to be left with just her.

        If I keep it up, I’ll end up right back where I started a year ago — with no one lol.


      • @Scray
        Just a heads-up: It’s gonna get even worse over the next few months, especially if you live in an area that gets a snowy winter.

        There’s a chain of holidays coming up that often force relationships to escalate. Thanksgiving, Xmas, New Years, valentines day, and Easter…god forbid your girl have her birthday somewhere in that timeframe TOO.

        Each of those holidays involves stuff like family dinners, office parties, partner-required events (new years kiss, v-day flowers) where the girl is socially pressured about being single still. That’s where she brings up that she’s seeing this Scray guy. And that’s where her friends, family, TV commercials, etc convince her that you’re no good because you won’t commit and that you’re just using her.

        This forces her to drop the “I love you too much, we have to either be in a relationship or end things because it hurts too much” Ultimatum on you a lot faster than if none of those holidays existed.

        So a girl who’s already falling in love will only fall more in love over the next few months.

        This is all extra-enhanced by snow, where the girl is cooped up indoors and doesn’t meet anyone new and basically just has all her hopes pinned on you coming around to committing to her.

        Figuring out how you want to manage this time of the year will be important long-term:

        – Some guys like myself try to keep their relationships so casual that the girls don’t expect any of that from them…as winter approaches I’ll actively start seeing the girl every 2 weeks instead of every week like in the summer. This method runs the risk of losing her to some other guy who’s orbiter-chasing her because she doesn’t necessarily want HIM more, she wants a date for these events and to bring home to her family etc and that guy is offering that while I’m not.

        – Another method is to just vanish all winter. Make up excuses for being “out of town” during key holidays etc even if you’re sitting at home in your underwear lol.

        – In a similar vein you could go completely radio silent and off the grid and just not see her all winter, which would mean a lot of porn and your palm for you thru the winter

        – Another method is picking one and making her your GF for the winter with the intention of breaking it off in the summer. I’ve tried this twice and ended up with an LTR GF twice because I was too chickenshit to break things off lol so I stopped doing this method and switched to the 2 week casual thing

        – If you want to play some psychological warfare, you can pick a fight with the girl and break up with her completely unfairly right before this season so that she spends all winter thinking about you and missing you and wanting you back esp since its too cold out to go meet other guys

        With all of these methods, you can renew the relationship in the spring/summer if you want. Even if you vanish for a few months you can just go “hey” and re-stoke the flames. With the breaking up situ you just tell her you overreacted and missed her and want to try again. Etc etc.

        So you can get back to “single and playing the field and banging your FBs” eventually (tho you may lose them if they happen to meet someone in the winter but that’s pretty rare…new years is the only real “party and meet dudes” holiday out of that list…hell if you ignored all the other holidays and JUST hung out New Years you’d pretty much guarantee she doesn’t meet any other guys over the winter).

        The only catch with all of this will be your own feelings for the girls. You’re gonna like some of these girls and not want to see them less. And you’re gonna be in a more scarcity-based mindset because it’s cold and lonely when you’re spending Xmas all alone without a girl curled up to you and hot chocolate and all that awesome gay shit that TV commercials are showing you all thru December. So then the “make one my GF” option will seem appealing but that option comes with “go to her family Xmas dinner and pretend you care about her more than you actually do” type stuff and I hate that shit myself…plus you may develop deeper feelings for a non-high-quality girl just by being cooped up with her and spending time together that you wouldn’t have developed if you were able to play the field more.

        So your emotions will pull you in a bunch of different directions. It’ll probably take you a few winters to figure out how to handle all this. You’re gonna break some hearts and you’re gonna feel the stint of loneliness. XMas week, especially, is the loneliest time of the year for a player…you can’t even go out and meet girls because everyone is on vacation and with family etc. so you’re stuck just cooped up thinking “fuck this is lonely :(”

        But then spring comes around and you go “fuck ya I love being single!!!” lol

        Anyway, just warning you in advance what you’re in for. Try to strike a balance between not doing too much damage to the girls (in your defense it’s not entirely your fault if you break their heart because its the season that’s escalating things that otherwise wouldn’t have escalated so fast, so you’re having your hand forced), and not doing too much damage to yourself mentally lol


      • Great so… it’s gonna be even harder to learn game over the winter then… I mean, it’s not like the clubs and bars will be empty… I hope.


      • “Great so… it’s gonna be even harder to learn game over the winter then…”

        Yup. The winter weeds out the guys who want it from the dabblers. 🙂 When I started out I waited in knee-deep falling snow for the bus to get downtown to the bars just for the chance to go out solo and get a few approaches in. The whole walk thru dirty downtown slush as I went bar to bar passing freezing people on the street who had NO desire to stop and talk to a stranger no matter how charming he was, all I could think of was how much easier it’d be if I lived somewhere with warm weather year-round. But you do what you gotta do.

        “I mean, it’s not like the clubs and bars will be empty… I hope.”

        Reframe it this way: only the hardcore partiers and girls dying to get laid will be out. The taken girls will be staying at home warm and curled up with their boyfriends instead of going out into the cold to the bar. So when you get to the bar, every girl there is looking to find a dude to fuck so she doesn’t have to drag herself out in the cold to the bar next weekend. 🙂

        Also crashing office xmas parties you stumble across is always fun.

        There’s a reason a lot of the oldschool pros (Tyler, Mystery, Cajun, etc) were from Canada. Combine the snow in Toronto with the bitchy attitudes of the women there and you pretty quickly weed out who really wants it.


      • lol it’s so funny, but I never thought of it that way. I started off gaming around the winter time, and it was just such a bitch learning. Had no idea that the season had something to do with it as well.


  22. OT but Science! confirms the dark arts again.

    Preselection works (in men and women)


  23. Here’s a demonstration of:

    Amused Mastery. Assuming the Sale. Friend Zone Elimination. Uber Direct Approach. And many other subcommunications and value elicitations.

    Basically, a butt naked guy approaching girls in day game.

    Alpha? Possibly due to his physique, rapport skills and comfort building via mild self-depracation and targeting the “Samantha” of the group.

    If he were an older bald chubby dude that looked like George “The Animal” Steel, or a LARPER with a Level -100 Social Calibration, he’d be in cuffs very quickly.



  24. Is it true that in Holland children are taught that Santa Claus has elves that are black?

    So called “black petes?”

    Is it connected with the idea of “little people” climbing down the chimney and getting covered with black soot?

    Or is it a case of da eebow white man tryin to O press me wif racism?


    • What the fuck does this have to do with this post above? Taki is a great place and the talk is pretty real and I post there -frequently- under a slightly different pseudonym but I’m easy to spot as my writing style isn’t so different. All that being said, why are you putting this shit here and on this thread? Does… not… compute.


      • I don’t know what its about, thats why Im asking white people?

        Anytime white people have a holiday where they dress up as kneegrows and call themselves “black peters” I gotta suspect it has something to do with Amused Mastery., Assuming the Sale, Friend Zone Elimination, Uber Direct Approach…?

        That ain’t no holiday I ever heard of? They speak English?

        How do I know they ain’t plannin on robbin a liquor store and blamin ni66ers?

        White people are confusing; Help a brotha out?


      • Thwack be trippin’

        There are white people out there that, as a white person, even I don’t get.

        Cuckold fetishists, for example.


      • thwack— do you have a sock puppet?? the way you replied certainly seems like you are spook. I thought better of you as you really don’t need a sock puppet to get your relevant points across. Don’t go full retard… it doesn’t suit you at all.

        That being said, I just learned of this too on Taki. The article if you read it though, is fascinating so please go read. The Dutch, Holland, Netherlands, whatevah… are incredibly leftist and socialist by and large. They are down with miscegenation ni66a dick, drugs, Youth-In-Asia, and socialism, at a minimum. But apparently, they are REALLY uptight about this weird ass tradition 20 days before Saint Nick’s Pagan Holiday that all Christians accept even though, did I mention, Pagan Holiday?? Heebs of course, more smartly, go to the movies and generally get amazing discounts at retail shops on same said day. True Story.


      • Look man, Im just trying to make sure I don’t get punked. I got no problem with an individual white person pretending to be black; but when a whole buncha white people do it at the same time?

        That makes it a conspiracy.

        Sometimes I think white people have contests to see who can be the most racist and get away with it? I see you at the zoo pretending to be a monkey in order to get a monkey reaction out of the monkeys…

        Ya’ll can’t play me like that;

        you wanna go to war?

        I got my eye on you.

        BTW– thats MR. SPOOK to you!


      • St. Nicholas be december 6th, butmunch.


      • “White people are confusing; Help a brotha out?”

        WTF, wacko? What’s with ur and Nicole’s negro exceptionalism?!?

        Enjoy ur servitude, dumbass.


      • You wanna go to war?

        I been easy on you, but we can go to war?

        I ain’t afraid of you.


      • War means subway Masturbator has to police with mockery.


  25. Hypergamy eats alive yet another girl.
    Greek American girl, tall, thin and sexy. From the west coast, is dating a cool guy, definitely a cad. Self made business man on the rise 31 yrs old. Greek guy so it’s a good match. But 24 yr old Greek girl dumps him and goes to Babylon the great, NYC. To pursue her fashion career. Fuck.

    She thinks she can find the man. Those NYC cads are ruthless. Already the stories are leaking back, about bottles and penthouse suites parties. In her prime she is delusional thinking all there is the now. Getting showered with attention from sexy men with money.

    I’ve seen this story over and over. By 29 she will return, used and discarded. She could have stayed out west with this man who surely would have married her and given her a good life. Instead it’s alpha fucks beta bucks.

    Hypergamy is a woman’s worst enemy


  26. If I touched a girl in a friendly manner while trying to flirt with her, she would scream like a Ted Bundy victim, I’d instantly freak out non-verbally, the crowd around us would notice, and then I’d be embarrassed, turn beet red, and then get the fuck out of there while hearing mocking laughter or gasps of fear, as if a deranged psycho in their cozy little midst was suddenly ‘exposed’ for who he really was.

    This is why I don’t hit on girls, because I am always trying to pass myself off as normal when in fact I am not. Trying and failing with girls at my age (30s+) essentially exposes myself to the world as a creepy, needy, desperate insane human being.

    Fuck this fucking game. Really, fuck all you normal people. Be lucky you weren’t abused as a child like I was. No one was ever there for me when I needed it. Nobody. Be glad you had fucking parents or at least someone who loved you.


    • You need to stop imagining the very worst outcomes.

      Concentrate on the “trying” and not the “failing”.

      Keep trying; and living.

      (ps. If I had to guess, the kind of person that you might be most comfortable around are those that YOU IMAGINE as the least likely to scorn you; and that might be traditional, old-school, fire and brimstone Christians. Not the fake, liberal, dogooder kind)


    • Try some omega game in that case, when she screams, you let off a falsetto yell yourself. Hotstep in place a bit while looking at her, hold your arms like a T Rex and scream a bit more until she quiets down. Then you can leave (don’t apologize).


    • “No one was ever there for me when I needed it. Nobody. Be glad you had fucking parents or at least someone who loved you.”

      Everyone here would SUPPORT you if you were working on yourself, but you’re the only one here who can FIX you.

      None of us can do it for you and none of us will support your victim-mentality because you are not a special snowflake, we’ve all had to work thru our own harships in life. You can too, but not like this.

      You were offered help and some suggestions to get started in response to your first post. Take them, or don’t be surprised when people stop wasting their time trying to help a guy who doesn’t want to help himself…then you can add “those big jerks in the Manosphere are all assholes and were mean to me” to your victim-identity and keep making external excuses instead of taking action.


      • ^This.


      • i’d give him the tough love he desperately needs (like i give the others), but damn this kid is “Chris Brown” angry and is poaching my schtick.

        if legit and not a troll, this fucker is CH sperg numero uno!!


      • LOL. He’s a troll. Who writes something as vivid as this when he’s supposedly in mental anguish:

        “If I touched a girl in a friendly manner while trying to flirt with her, she would scream like a Ted Bundy victim,”

        For better or worse, it’s hilarious.

        Sounds a little like Tom the Democrat, though.


      • I figure troll but also figure there may be other guys lurking reading who need some motivation. I just hate to see a bunch of us waste a bunch of energy on either a troll or a guy who wants to piss n moan all over the comment section. If dude is legit, he’s been provided with enough help to get started already.


      • “If dude is legit, he’s been provided with enough help to get started already.”

        Agreed! You have provided him with excellent advice when he first popped on the scene. Working on his self-esteem and his positive thinking is paramount before he can game women. He could find lots of Tony Robbins videos on youtube to get started, as well as other like-minded stuff.

        Remember how Scary was last year? Now, he’s a 100% better than he was because he keeps a positive healthy attitude, and applied some of the advice here.

        If Patrice isn’t a troll, I hope he starts implementing your advice. If he is a troll, oh well, at least he’s funny. But, let’s not take him too seriously.


    • From now on, everything you say must be addressed as the wound exudation it is:

      Help-rejecting Complaining–
      Shut up and get help.

      It is aggression against others.


  27. That bit about touching other men is really interesting. I do that a lot, and I understand that other guys find it vaguely annoying when I do, but I don’t seem to care, since I keep doing it anyway.

    I feel an urge to reach out and pat your arm or punch your shoulder or whatever, so I do it. When I think about it, it’s very rare that any of these touches are ever reciprocated.

    I never really gave it any thought before now, but I can kind of see where that behavior is an expression of social dominance. I feel free to reach out and touch these guys because I feel superior to them. I *am* superior to them. I don’t know of any guy I’d rather be than me.


    • just understand you do it to lesser men, and better men do it to you.

      at the top though, you keep your hands to yourself. if you don’t know what I mean then you aint even near the top, Chachi.


  28. on October 30, 2013 at 7:01 am Lucky White Male

    Jezebel and the entire Cathedral:

    The art of creating an Alternate Universe of RealIty online, in print, on television, in movies

    with no correlation to actual real-world reality

    complete with trumped-up or even *invented* “facts,” “statistics,” “claims”

    fictional storylines that would never happen in reality, do not happen in reality

    characters reacting the opposite of how women and men would actually react
    in real time


  29. on October 30, 2013 at 7:06 am Lucky White Male

    What the Our Current Elites have perfected:

    Simply make things up, lie

    If you can lie long enough to kill a generation, you win. Even if they find out they destroyed their lives by acting in ways contrary to their own happiness you win

    Destroy families

    Barren unfertile women at age 40

    Feminized males who could never start a family

    Bleed people dry with debt

    Bloodsucking cocksucker parasites

    “The Big Lie”


  30. Wishful thinking geek drivel.
    Height, looks, youth, money & social status trump everything else 99.9999% of the time.
    Regardless of how badly y’all want *Revenge of the Nerds* to be a documentary, it ain’t.
    The only part I agree with is that it is better to have the girl hate you than to think of you as ‘just a friend’, which is just plain hell.


  31. CH,

    how do you explain fear of rejection despite having years of successful interactions with women?

    I could go out bang 10, 20, (with time) 100 women, but I can never bring myself to not care about rejection.

    I still approach, and succeed when I do. even get called a womanizer by peers, but I bring shame to that label.

    the fear of rejection, even toward attractive women signaling interest, is still there. even though at this point I’ve banged many, and have some in my phone are going in that direction.

    sure ill approach, but I still wait to be approached more often.


  32. I love palming those smooth shoulders. Touch the wrist for the least amount of risk.


  33. I’ve noticed that I’m “more attractive” and “more aggressive” when I’m with one or all of my kids. For some reason, I’m pretty loose – and I “act” more like an authority figure – but then again, we are always laughing and chatting about something. There have been three times recently, where I was with my kids, there was a woman there – and I started chatting them up, and within about 3 or 4 minutes, I’ve asked for their numbers. My kids (who are all teenagers) laugh about it. And my two boys, at least get to see what happens when you decide to take a chance. In all cases, if the woman would have said NO, I’d been like – OK – and gone on with my life.

    Now to take that same attitude into all social situations – act the same with or without my kids being around. At least I have a frame of reference for it now.


  34. […] Are you an incorrigible flirt? Because if you’re not, you should be. ♥Science♥ has discovered that flirting trumps looks as a courtship strategy for getting laid and getting loved. Does flirting actually work?  […]


  35. […] settle for other men; but do most women desire alphas? Yes, and numerous studies demonstrate this (example). If one seeks to invalidate an existing theory, one first needs to characterize it correctly. […]


  36. Yes


  37. […] and game: flirting trumps looks. Great […]


  38. Does this take into account sneak copulatory liaisons or simply put: infidelities? In lots of species the female is actually looking for both the best food provider but also the best gamete material.