Handholding Daytime Dates

Daytime dates are risky. Besides the sex-killing sobriety, a girl can learn a lot more about you when the sun is up and you’re outside strolling around for hours revealing more of yourself than you would be inclined to at night in a dimly-lit lounge with music to distract her.

An actual Bhutanese man so secure in the size of his member he wears a skirt with legs open:

sneak a peek, ladies

Dark Corners + Alcohol + Music + Flattering Lighting  + Hidden Groping = Air of Mystery = Sexual Tension = High Chance of Sex.

Bright Sunshine + Outdoors + Downtown Folk Festival + Bhutanese Men in Skirts + Minimal Erogenous Zone Contact = Mystery Revealed = Sexual Tension Relieved = Low Chance of Sex.

Daytime dates are great if you’ve already banged the girl and you want to steer her in the direction of steady girlfriend. Deeper bonds are formed when you’re both sober and can hear each other speak. Plus the daytime allows you to make a more critical assessment of her facial appearance, which matters if you plan to show her to your friends or accidentally ejaculate inside of her.

If you can hold a four hour conversation without it going stale, and still maintain an intriguing demeanor, then by all means take your date out during the day. Just don’t expect it to lead to your bedroom. Best you can do is a cuddle on a park bench and some closed-mouth, publicly-acceptable kissing.

An expert level frumpy white lady listens with rapt attention, bobbing her head up and down, to a Bhutanese man with a woman’s voice sing traditional songs:

loathes her own culture.

Here are whiter people enjoying a traditional Bhutanese dance and lording their enlightened status over the wrong kind of white people (who happened to be in the Texas-themed tent 20 yards away):

FYI: If a girl holds your hand on a daytime date before you’ve sexed her, she sees you as marriage material.

Most girls think that handholding is more intimate than kissing. Many even believe that handholding should not happen until after sex. Girls somehow think palms touching is a bigger deal than genitals slapping.

Are girls in Kansas this way? I doubt it.





Comments


  1. More nerve endings on the palm of your hand, that’s what makes it so special.
    As for the daytime dates, yeah – only go on one if you are planning to give her a ride on your motorcycle (or in your porsche), and afterwards take her to see the beautiful sunset view from your apartment balcony.
    Otherwise, might as well hang out with your buddies on the weekend. Or drive to Dewey. Or, if you are DA, catch up on tranny porn. Slim chance for daytime sex otherwise.

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  2. on July 2, 2008 at 3:22 pm SeaFighter HSV

    I’m just a technology demonstrator 😦

    Please procure me in numbers 🙂

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  3. “Daytime dates are risky.”

    It’s a known fact that alcoholics don’t like the daytime. Liver damage causes the eyes to be highly sensitivity to the sun. My own mother is a good example, having destroyed her pancreas and liver with excess alcohol consumption. Her house is always dark.. even the kitchen and she gets freaked if you turn an overhead light on.

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  4. Here are whiter people enjoying a traditional Bhutanese dance and lording their enlightened status over the wrong kind of white people (who happened to be in the Texas-themed tent 20 yards away)

    Priceless!

    If a girl holds your hand on a daytime date before you’ve sexed her, she sees you as marriage material.

    Yes. Very astute observation.

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  5. If a girl holds your hand on a daytime date before you’ve sexed her, she sees you as marriage material.

    But even this gives her another opportunity to shit-test you. As you’re approaching an obstacle such a a lamp post, she’ll pull you slightly in her direction. That’s to see if you’ll follow her lead, of keep your own course.

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  6. “Skyrockets in flight . . .
    Afternoon delight!

    Aaaaaafternoon delight . . .

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  7. I like to do it in the dirt in broad daylight stone cold sober. Really, nature sex rules. I’ve had sex with the addition of many kinds of drugs and alcohol, and truly SOBER is the best way. You can remember every detail. People who need alcohol or drugs to lose their inhibitions are _ _ s _ _ _ _ s. Fill in the blank.

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  8. ….but if a girl is willing to tilt a cold one with you in the park on a Saturday afternoon…..

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  9. 9 jk

    OMG. That is real? LMAO. I love the part about passive aggressive personality disorder.

    Reminds me of the saying “I used to be conceited, but now I’m perfect.”

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  10. on July 2, 2008 at 6:00 pm Concerned Citizen

    I agreee with the 2nd comment. We need to look into procuring the SeaFighter HSV for maritime security operations.

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  11. I find daytime coffee dates to be useful when I cannot form a reliable picture of what she looked like from the first meeting — because the bar was extra dark, the conversation was fleeting, she was wearing non-disclosing clothing (I hate winter), or I was drunk (usually this). The date has about a one-hour limit, plenty of time to gather the needed information (in the brightly-lit location) but not so long as to waste much precious time. Also, it is easy to start a rapport that extends into the next meetup, and in the girl’s head, the next meetup will be a second date — making it much more acceptable to her to get physical than if it were the first.

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  12. on July 2, 2008 at 9:06 pm SovereignAmericanMale

    @7 sara
    “I like to do it in the dirt in broad daylight stone cold sober.”

    with you there, but unlike you, public places work wonders

    The time honored sex in the confessional of a ancient cathedral is only surpassed by taking her on the Alter itself.
    Just after a Mass. (I am not ashamed, as God is my witness)

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  13. The time of day of the date doesn’t really matter if she has a Glorious Bald Eagle!

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  14. 13 Sovereign

    Gooood one!

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  15. S.A.M.? If you’re seriously in the market for a little transgression, I dare you to try that in a mosque. With people in it. No fair looking for an empty one.

    I’m sick of phony posturing courageous blasphemy. Try something that requires real guts before you boast. Then I might even believe you’re an alpha.

    Clio

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  16. Good work, Clio, putting a pseudo-Alpha in his place.

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  17. on July 3, 2008 at 3:58 am SovereignAmericanMale

    16 Anonymous (Clio)

    “S.A.M.? If you’re seriously in the market for a little transgression, I dare you to try that in a mosque. With people in it. No fair looking for an empty one.”

    I will if you will. Put up or shut up. I will bring the condoms.

    “I’m sick of phony posturing courageous blasphemy.”

    I am sick of reactionary statements of the defenders of the status quo

    “Try something that requires real guts before you boast.”
    —————————————————————————

    Define something that requires real guts: I may have done it.

    “Then I might even believe you’re an alpha.”

    I am what I am, regardless of your belief to the contrary. The fact I know my own mind, and dare to speak (let the chips fall where they may) bespeaks my non-betaness.

    Unlike Darth V. I don’t find your lack of faith disturbing. but more like comforting as its expected.

    @17-Peter

    “Good work, Clio, putting a pseudo-Alpha in his place.”

    Oh, don’t you have a Glory Pelt to go cleanse of its crab residence?

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  18. on July 3, 2008 at 4:01 am SovereignAmericanMale

    @17 Peter

    p.s. Muthafucker, I Rule! Never forget it/never doubt it.

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  19. Holding hands is a seriously underrated way to initiate and elevate skin-to-skin contact. It has that “I’m John Mayer innocent” vibe that cuts through women’s player deflectors like a hot knife through butter. When she starts squeezing, move in for the kill.

    And while roaming the National Mall probably isn’t going to leave you in flagrante delicto, there’s nothing that automatically prohibits sex from a daytime date. Examples include:

    1) The woodsy picnic. Some sandwiches and gatorade, some bullshit about the nobility of nature, and you’re nailing her under the cover of the willow tree within feet of unsuspecting innocents. Works best with hippie chicks / law clerks.

    2) The exercise date. A brisk walk or a jog gets the heart racing and the pheromone-laden sweat flowing. You’ll of course need to stop by your place and take a shower. Not recommended for use on fatties.

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  20. And we definitely need to procure more of Commenter #2, as that Boston-NY ferry route takes way too long on retired LST’s.

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  21. jewcano, _nothing_ is recommended for use on fatties

    otherwise, i am asdf and i approve your message

    (PS: Peter is a tool. Always posts the same stupid comment everywhere. David Alexander is even toolier, for the same reason.)

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  22. on July 3, 2008 at 10:42 am johnny five

    Aaaaaafternoon delight . . .

    i actually prefer my drinking, fighting, and fucking in the middle of the afternoon. by no means am i a morning person, but i simply don’t have the same degree of late-night vitality i did at twenty-one, unless i’m feeling particularly ecstatic.

    in fact, after a certain time of night, none of my thoughts and desires can escape the gravitational pull of sweet slumber. as far as dudes who’ll go home with anyone and anything at last call, i just don’t get it; it would take a ravishing redhead with waist-length curly hair, an ass like kim kardashian’s, a voice like renee fleming’s**, silky smooth hairless skin everywhere (sorry peter), and a sweet sweet bouquet of natural smells just to keep me awake for an additional forty-five minutes.

    on the other hand, at one or two in the afternoon, my standards are as relaxed as a dreadlocked surfer boy at burning man.

    as far as i can tell, the crystallization of circadian rhythms is really the only thing that sucks about the male aging process, at least until age fifty or so.

    **even better if this is still the case with her throat occluded by large cylindrical objects

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  23. I will if you will. Put up or shut up. I will bring the condoms.

    S.A.M. is an idiot. Clio never represented herself as someone who defiles places of worship, he did. She did slap him down right, though.

    So put up or shut up, dipshit. Which mosque you gonna pick? Yeah, I thought so.

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  24. as far as dudes who’ll go home with anyone and anything at last call, i just don’t get it; it would take a ravishing redhead with waist-length curly hair, an ass like kim kardashian’s, a voice like renee fleming’s**, silky smooth hairless skin everywhere (sorry peter), and a sweet sweet bouquet of natural smells just to keep me awake for an additional forty-five minutes.
    on the other hand, at one or two in the afternoon, my standards are as relaxed as a dreadlocked surfer boy at burning man.

    So, does that mean that in the afternoon you would consider nailing a chick with a deliciously thick, rich, luxuriant thatch, filled with wonderful aromas and flavors?

    There may be hope for you yet.

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  25. > S.A.M. is an idiot.

    Certainly not the only one around here, but lately the by far most obnoxious… Look, if you have to troll, at least do it well. I actually like to read good trolls but SAM just makes me glaze over.

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  26. policitcal correctness has caused this type of racial viscious bloggery. Secondly men who get laid steadily don’t waste time spitting out anti-feminist mysogny over the internet. They are too busy having actual sex, instead of talking about, and fixating on it.

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  27. on July 3, 2008 at 8:57 pm SovereignAmericanMale

    24 PA

    “So put up or shut up, dipshit. Which mosque you gonna pick? Yeah, I thought so.”

    Suck a fatman’s skinny dick.

    Since you wanna go all personal on me PA.

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  28. SAM – a latent homosexual? first, it’s the vivid descriptions of man-assrape in another thread, competely out of the blue. Now, a vivid description of homo-fellatio.

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  29. on July 3, 2008 at 10:23 pm SovereignAmericanMale

    @29 PA
    Nice try. I sex Women, not Men. Personally I would Die, before choosing homosexuality.

    The Other thread I was making a point about slavery, submission and power roles, you dense dumb ape.

    Fact is males rule, but do you allow other males to rule you or do you Rule yourself?

    This thread I was calling you a cocksucker without using that word.

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  30. SAM – don’t change the subject with homo-blowjobs. Which mosque? which one? or are you a pussy?

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  31. on July 6, 2008 at 6:51 am SovereignAmericanMale

    31 PA

    “SAM – don’t change the subject with homo-blowjobs. Which mosque? which one? or are you a pussy?”

    You can’t put a key in my back and wind my ass up. Find another crash dummy. Since Clio declined my counter-offer, and it was offered to only her, there will be no mosque sex.

    Since it was her blasphemous mind who whipped it up, she deserved to be stoned to death. Right after, they cut my head off for giving her the best night (day) of her life

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  32. “If a girl holds your hand on a daytime date before you’ve sexed her, she sees you as marriage material.”

    better marriage material than friendzone material

    BTW, roissy, you gotta work on your text layout, man. the way you had those photos/captioned sequenced, they broke up the main story. i was wondering, “so whats this nerdy lookin guy in a dress got to do with daytime dating?”

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