How To Remain Unflustered Like An Alpha Male

Girls wil test, tease and taunt. This is the female mating modus operandi, and it exists because women need a convenient system for screening alpha males from beta males, for whom male looks aren’t enough information for women to go on.

The screening system is fairly ingenious and effective, because in the pressure cooker of face-to-face interaction, alpha males do tend to be the men who can either roll with the girly blows or parry them with maximum seductiveness. Beta males tend to be the men who react defensively, apologetically or feebly. Hotheads react butthurtly.

There is no end to the ways in which being an alpha male is better than being a beta male. So it would make sense to learn how to respond to female testing, teasing and taunting like an alpha male. In practice, this means you are going to have to be a lot less reactive and emotionally susceptible than you currently are, because alpha males all share, to a greater or lesser degree, a facility with well-timed and smoothly executed stoicism. Grace under pressure, if you will.

With that in mind, here are some actions and lines you can use when a woman has challenged you (and revealed her blossoming attraction for you). These are very generalizable responses, because they are meant to be that way. It almost doesn’t matter what kind of test the girl throws in your face; any of these cool hand alpha responses will boost your status, and hence your attractiveness, to her. These tactics aren’t meant to be the height of wit either, so you won’t fear stumbling over your words at the critical moment. They are, before anything else, responses that raise your relative status by influencing women’s perception of you. You have to be a bit of an actor to pull some of these off, but seduction is, in its essence, the art of acting.

The key to many of these is a bemused or neutral facial expression. Body language should be slow and deliberate, bordering on instilling discomfort in your female company. A drink helps here because you can telegraph deliberateness with subtle movements, such as slowly lifting a glass to your mouth to take a sip before replying to a girl. You are nonreactive. If it helps, imagine yourself as D. Draper. (Not Jon Hamm, who is a PC pussy in real life.)

– Arch eyebrows. Stare at her for three seconds. Look away.

– Look her over with neutral expression, draw in lips, slowly nod head, and exhale “yeeeeeeeahhh…..”

– Sarcastically, “Wow, so cold, so cold. mmhmmm.”

– “Goooooddamnit.” [act disappointed, shake head, frown] “I thought you were different.”

– “Hmm,” [pause pause pause] “you’re off to a good start, I see.”

– “Just what I needed tonight.” Smirk a little here. “A ballbuster.”

– Stare, cock head, blank face. “Charming.”

– “I’m sorry, did you say something?”

– Smile broadly and phonily. “All right! This is fun!” Raise your glass to her, like a toast.

– “I thought I was the biggest bitch here.” [to be used sparingly on especially hot women with serious bitch complexes]

– Exhale loudly and slowly. Put your drink on the bar. Turn to face her. Relax arms and clasp your hands together. Brighten your face like a CareBear. “Well. You really know how to win a gentleman over.”

– “Your games are for children.”

– Straight face, “I’m glad I got to know you.” Excuse yourself politely from her company.

– “I bet you say that to all the men who secretly make you a little nervous. Like a schoolgirl.”

– Furrow your brow, cock head, like your examining a zit on her face. “You’re…. weirdly fascinating.”

– “Thanks for not making this too easy/polite/friendly.”

– “It’s a good thing I met you. Nice girls bore me.” (“Normal girls bore me”, if you want to say something edgier.)

– “I’ve got a question.” Look at her, then look at your hand, tap the table or bar (or a herb’s forehead) with your fingers for a few seconds, stop tapping, look back at her. “Does this normally work for you?”

– “Well.” Raise your glass to her. Smile. Nod in appreciation. “Just what I expected.”

– “I’ve heard about girls like you.” Wait for a reply. “Nothing good, I’m afraid.”

– “C+.” She will ask what you’re talking about. “You’re flirting skills. Not bad, room for improvement if you apply yourself.”

– Make a fake pained expression. Breathe in through your teeth. Squint. Put a hand to your forehead like you have a headache, or to your chest like you have heart pains. “You wound me, deeply.” Immediately after saying that, assume your unaffected poker face. “Cheers.”

– Appear befuddled. “Your question seems silly to me.”

– “I’ve gotta hand it to you. I was expecting a sane, boring girl.”

– “Nevermind.”

– “Hold that thought.” Drink, talk to the bartender or a friend, or just stare at the wall. She will expect you to return to the conversation. You won’t.

– Duct tape her mouth. “That’s better.”

One of the above is a joke.

Bonus alpha maneuver!

Stick your fingers in your ears. “I can’t hear you.” If she doesn’t laugh, I’ll refund your boot camp money.





Comments


  1. How about (if she’s hot), pausing, smiling and saying with a slightly condescending tone “you know you’re kind of cute when you’re trying to throw me off” and then chuckle a bit?

    Like


  2. “Hmm,” [pause pause pause] “you’re off to a good start, I see.”

    my favorite

    Like


  3. The alternative would be to nuke her hamster. Of course, that’s not really being cool under fire. That’s sort like nuking the site from orbit because… it’s the only way to be sure.

    Like


  4. “Hold that thought.” Drink, talk to the bartender or a friend, or just stare at the wall. She will expect you to return to the conversation. You won’t.

    very nice, not try hard at all. Anything longer than 4 words seems like try hard.

    Like


  5. on October 3, 2012 at 3:47 pm (R)Evoluzione

    Gold, Jerry, Gold.

    Some of these I already use naturally.

    Many of the others are supremely useful, and will be integrated, stat.

    Some favorites:

    ““I’ve gotta hand it to you. I was expecting a sane, boring girl.”

    I bet you say that to all the men who secretly make you a little nervous. Like a schoolgirl.”

    – Furrow your brow, cock head, like your examining a zit on her face. “You’re…. weirdly fascinating.”

    “Does this normally work for you?”

    But the all-time best:

    Duct tape her mouth. “That’s better.” *my version: stick your fingers, or better, the lotsa cocka, into her mouth.

    Like


  6. not too bad. nevertheless let me troll a little:

    game = something that makes my gina explode with confetti.

    [heartiste: u don’t say!]

    Like


  7. My 2 responses:

    1) Shake head with soft, condescending smirk for a second. If she’s still looking at you, say one word.

    “Weak.” (alternative: “Childish.”)

    Then wait. If she doesn’t break eye contact, she’s just shit testing you, and continue on as if nothing happened, ignoring her childishness. If she turns away, walk away smirking.

    2) Throw your drink across the bar, having it smash loudly against the wall, silencing everyone else. Grab her by the throat with one hand, lifting her off the ground, while you point your index finger two inches from her eyes.

    “What did you say to me?”

    As she struggles to respond due to lack of oxygen/vagina tingles, grab the nearest bottle and smash it over her head. With her unconscious, use both hands to lift her limp body over your head and toss her through the nearest plate-glass window. Write your number on a piece of paper with the words “call me” and toss it on her bleeding body.

    Leave with arms raised, to the boos of the crowd, to your own theme music.

    She will text the next day, desperate to be your love slave.

    Never fails.

    Like


    • on October 3, 2012 at 4:40 pm RappaccinisDaughter

      You forgot the part where you pull her teacup poodle out of her LV bag, rape it, and then set them both on fire. Also, when you do your Walk Of Awesome out of the bar, you ought to have a pistol in each hand, pointing out to either side. (Pistols should be Desert Eagle .50 calibers, if possible.)

      Like


      • You don’t rape dogs. You give them to homeless people to rape for you.

        Don’t set her on fire. It takes longer to heal. I don’t want a crackle-faced bitch on my arm.

        Desert Eagles are for laughable wannabe gangsta thugs who watch too many rap videos. I use an old-school flint lock pistol, where all you get is one shot each:

        http://www.dreamstime.com/royalty-free-stock-photos-old-flintlock-pistols-image8086588

        One shot, one kill, baby.

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 5:16 pm RappaccinisDaughter

        B-b-b-b-ut Hollywood said DEs were cool! And we know Hollywood never lies.

        And maybe you shouldn’t be so judgy about the crackle-faced bitch. You know what they say, once you go crackle-faced…

        Like


      • Great name. Read that in college. Never forgot it.

        Like


      • DEs are very nice. Hollywood also says Ferrarris are cool.

        The essence of cool is not caring what other people find cool.

        Right?

        Never mind answering because i don’t care.

        Like


      • That BS artist G-Manifesto went on in a past post about packing a Desert Eagle while “swooping fly girls”.

        No doubt while wearing a suit, sparring in a boxing gym, smoking, and drinking cocktails, all at the same time.

        lolz

        Like


      • Yeah, I used to love G for a good laugh, some nice pictures, and decent fiction…until he started going overboard worshiping the niggers and celebrating leftism.

        And don’t forget…he makes his money “committing heists”! Jewelry heists! With his Desert Eagles! And teaching 50 cent all about it!

        There’s a term from pro-wrestling….”living your gimmick”…I’m afraid G might have forgotten the line between fantasy and reality…

        Like


      • Those numbers are true.
        -But who are the guys those woman screw? The top 5% alpha’s? I know no guy who got laid before 24 (I am an omega).
        -After 25 she starts looking for Beta-provider. What does the alpha-guy does when he turns 27 ? The girls he screwed turned to provider-mode and he suddenly has no more chicks?

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      • Desert Eagle fifties, eh?

        Somebody’s been studying.

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      • Nothing beats a 1911 for an all around pistol.

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 5:18 pm RappaccinisDaughter

        Ooh! Gun thread!
        1911s are indeed awesome. They’re a pain in the butt for on-body concealed carry, due to their bulk, so I use a holster purse. How do you get around concealing their outline?

        Like


      • Carry it under your arm or in the small of your back. I seldom carry, however. I live in a low crime area.

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      • Under the arm.

        Small of the back carry is an accident waiting to happen… not so much AD/ND, rather, having a heavy piece of metal next to your spine is not fun if you should fall, get in a tussle, or get in a car accident.

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 5:33 pm RappaccinisDaughter

        If you’re a dude, sure. You can just wear a blazer, and let the bulk of your shoulders keep the fabric from hanging up on the grip.

        Women’s clothing is usually either too flimsy or too tailored to cover the grip of a full-size 1911, and there’s no way I’m going to sport the Paula Poundstone look just so I can have the gun on my body. I just use an appropriate purse, which I wear cross-body so it’s difficult for anybody to steal it/tamper with it.

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 5:45 pm gunslingergregi

        yea might be better to keep it in purse. chick said she was walking when younger down alley behind work when smoking, dude walked up and next thing she knows she wakes up behind a dumpster dude trying to rape her after he knocked her out
        pulls gun out of purse shoots him in leg he runs

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 5:47 pm gunslingergregi

        best bet might be on ankle for the situations you might find yourself in and someone probably not gonna find it
        someone could still take your purse or find it around your middsection in knocked out state but when you wake up and can reach your ankle the perp ain’t gonna know whats up

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 5:50 pm gunslingergregi

        and in a real fight situation your probably getting your ass knocked out so really ankle your best bet or if some chick is pounding on you with her foot from upright position after allready taking your purse you can still get to your piece and do something
        worste case is gonna be if someone gets your gun out your purse or off your person

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 5:55 pm gunslingergregi

        or if in purse make it hidden compartment so a quick look and grab ain’t gonna see it
        i mean purse snatchin the chick gettin beat down if she tries to keep purse so remember that
        it could be a fucking liability if your worried about losing your gun in your purse and trying to keep purse while the dude who only wanted to steal the purse is trying to get the fuck out of dodge

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 6:51 pm gunslingergregi

        really i don’t even carry gun on the street cause it is not practical by the time i realized it was a situation that needed a gun i’m in a fight with multiple dudes.
        Only time a gun is gonna help is if you allready see a situation where you need one and are ready to bust caps. Like other day when my chick goes down alley and i am sitting waiting and got ten black dudes around car acting wierd. So yea in that situation a gun can be effective cause i would have the time to use it from inside the car. But you better be ready to bust them caps. In the house is good cause you prob have the time to pull it and get off shots out on street shit its always gonna be more than one on one and you might as well just take the ass whoopin

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 6:54 pm gunslingergregi

        and hopefully wouldn’t wake up with dudes raping me i’d think i was in haiti not murika

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 7:04 pm gunslingergregi

        really for a dude too it is prob best to pack it on the ankle and just get a small .22 cal gun
        so in a kidnap situation you wake up
        and automatically got defense

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 7:07 pm gunslingergregi

        or in kidnap situation when they take you out at gunpoint then put you in car can reach down and pop em in back of head yea ankle got to be best spot and superconcealed

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 7:15 pm gunslingergregi

        cause really if the intent is to kill right away you having a gun ain’t gonna stop it but it will stop maybe the shitload of situations where they want more and leave you alive and move to multiple places and want to torture you and shit and rob your atm

        Like


      • I don’t think a .45 full size is a good choice. Remember two things about bullets: .22LR can penetrate 1/2″ plyboard at 400 meters cleanly, which means it is potentially lethal even at that range. 2) Two bullet wounds means an 80% chance of death. Since you’re a womana nd carrying is difficult to pull off with a dress, etc. I’d go with a smaller pistol or stick to the purse. How about under the brasts, cleavage or around the upper thigh? Those should work well for most women depending on the pistol involved.

        Like


      • Gregi, just shut up. You’re barely coherent.

        Like


      • oh am i getting to you too real
        read and comprehend as best you can
        real life shit

        Like


      • 1911s are too prone to jamming for me to feel comfortable with them as a concealed carry defense weapon. or maybe the ones I’ve shot have just all happened to jam on the range. they sure do feel great to shoot though, and sit nicely in the hand. either way i’d take a 9mm/.40 glock as my go-to – theres a reason most PDs use those as standard issue.

        Like


  8. The best are the ones that she’ll be unable to resist responding to.

    “I’ve heard about girls like you.” Women love to hear about themselves, especially when an attractive guy is making a vague statement that could be construed as negative. Very few women would end the encounter right here.

    “C+.” Unexpected and intriguing. And then you slap her with your little evaluation after she takes the bait.

    “I bet you say that to all the men who secretly make you a little nervous. Like a schoolgirl.” She’s probably going to want to let you know how wrong you are. And then prove that she’s not too nervous to keep engaging in conversation with you.

    That is, these are great if you’re still interested in continuing the encounter. If you have no desire to keep talking to her but still want to leave no doubt that you’ve retained the upper hand, in my opinion the best one is, “Hold that thought.” No reaction to her statement/question, plus now she’ll be (un)consciously waiting for you to get back to her. Oh, how girls hate to be ignored and/or forgotten.

    Like


  9. If you can’t think of one write off the bat, if all else fails, amused mastery.

    Like


  10. “That’s clever…how’s that working out for you, being clever?”

    Another Fight Club quote.

    Like


  11. on October 3, 2012 at 4:33 pm stevie tellatruth

    “Not Jon Hamm, who is a PC pussy in real life.”

    Hmm. Always thought that about him.

    Like


    • He blamed racism for the creation of the Tea Party.

      As a racist, I take extreme offense. They’re nothing but a bunch of low-tax,small government types who nonetheless are p.c. pussies.

      Like


    • Most actors who portray alphas are PC pussies in real life.

      Like


      • Exactly… like politicians, they’re not allowed anywhere near the public eye unless they’ve been vetted by the given ‘establishment’… and usually have some dirt that can be held over their head.

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      • Of course. Famous people get good publicists and managers to protect their stupidity and weakness.

        When they don’t have them, the slip is VERY noticeable:

        1) Brittney Spears during the whole K-Fed-to-shaved-head debacle: all made public because she had just fired her long time manager and “went it alone.”

        2) Back at the time they started filming War of the Worlds, Tom Cruise when he fired his longtime manager/p.r. person (the one who had been with him since Top Gun) and replaced her with his sister. Suddenly, stories started appearing about his overbearing craziness with Scientology and generally psychotic manner. Because he replaced a great manager/p.r. team with a lousy one, all his crazy came out.

        BTW, Cruise’s old manager/p.r. person was so good, she started the trend of celebrities getting paid to be on magazine covers. Before that, interviews were considered free publicity. After her, it now became free publicity you got paid for.

        C’mon, she made a faggot a box office draw for guy movies. That bitch is a genius.

        Like


  12. on October 3, 2012 at 4:34 pm gunslingergregi

    my counselor said i had a better relationship with a ho than she has had
    i didn’t know what the fuck to say

    Like


  13. on October 3, 2012 at 4:38 pm gunslingergregi

    same chick that said she wouldn’t feed her man well the ho feeds me at the table in a resteraunt.

    Wonder if there could be something to that hrmmmmmmmmm

    Like


  14. on October 3, 2012 at 4:40 pm gunslingergregi

    so apparently wanting to do nothing for your men doesn’t create the kind of relationships woman dream about now does it no wonder these college bitches ain’t happy amazing breakthough nobody could see that one

    Like


  15. on October 3, 2012 at 4:40 pm gunslingergregi

    oh and now she is saying well maybe once she would feed her man at the table
    hahahahahahahahaha

    Like


  16. on October 3, 2012 at 4:42 pm gunslingergregi

    who is counseling who she is breaking down into a woman under my very eyes she looks hot without the wrongheaded attitude about men she might make a good woman for someone

    Like


  17. on October 3, 2012 at 4:45 pm gunslingergregi

    which is more fun going to a resteraunt sitting across from each other and talking about some bullshit

    or

    sitting side by side in a booth and playing with the food feeding each other touching each other laughing and having an awesome time

    Like


  18. Chevy Chase game.

    “I have an idea.” (pregnant pause)

    “What?”

    “Let’s pretend we’re real people.”

    Like


  19. – Duct tape her mouth. “That’s better.”

    I really hope that’s not the one that’s a joke. I so wanted to use that…

    – Look her over with neutral expression, draw in lips, slowly nod head, and exhale “yeeeeeeeahhh…..”

    lolz. that’s so office space!

    Like


  20. on October 3, 2012 at 4:51 pm gunslingergregi

    so sad that these bitches are being brainwashed with this garbage about relationships and sadder still that they actually believe the shit and sad that dudes don’t fucking make them tow the fucking line and let them get away with being useless except for their pussies.
    woman can do a lot more than just have sex make em fucking WOMAN UP

    Like


  21. Stare, cock head, blank face. “Charming.”

    I’ve used a close variant of this several times to good effect when talking to a two-set. After the taunt, I slowly turn to the friend and say “She always this charming, or is she just sweet on me?”

    Like


  22. on October 3, 2012 at 4:56 pm gunslingergregi

    can you imagine how many woman have internalized some bullshit that will never ever ever ever make them happy

    Like


    • So true. And that’s one of the first things that makes men run away from women that you can never ever please, and everything you do for them is never enough.

      Like


  23. on October 3, 2012 at 4:58 pm gunslingergregi

    “human females have massive brains for the same reason human males have nipples.” bit.ly/ODIyz4 1 hour ago

    ”””””’
    they have those brains to figure out how to please their man and be a contributing member to a family they just getting sidetracked on shit that don’t matter

    Like


  24. Would these work on girls who throw out high-interest shit tests, like throwing out hints about sexual feats, attraction, and other things meant to make betas pop a boner?

    Like


    • on October 3, 2012 at 6:01 pm gunslingergregi

      yea definetly remain unflustered on the i am bi shit test
      or the lets have a threesom with my girldfriend
      they heard it on tv that all men love it unbeknownst to them most men like straight chicks
      “yea my idea of a threesome is two straight chicks and me all about me”

      Like


  25. I think my favorite is “hold that thought” and then disappear. Have her see you leave with another woman. She’ll remember you next time you run into her.

    Like


  26. on October 3, 2012 at 5:11 pm gunslingergregi

    talkin about sitting on the beach with my ho in front of a resteraunt taking a break from eating and she was sitting on my lap giving me a manicure i think it blew her mind
    chick popping my zits cleaning my ears nose.
    shes like shes a groommer
    but thats because you told her too
    no i didn’t tell her to do it
    she makes me look good in public other dudes jealous and other woman pissed
    just like i make her look good and chicks saying they want a man like me
    just like how its supposed to be

    Like


  27. on October 3, 2012 at 5:13 pm gunslingergregi

    so far yea being this current chick is like being with my wife woman get vocal about wanting me lol

    Like


  28. How to Remain Aloof and Unflustered Around Chicks in Two Easy Steps:

    1. Read this poll and the accompanying comments. (I mean, really read them and let this raw data from anonymous women sink deep into your brain):

    “Ladies, how many men have you slept with?”

    http://www.topix.com/forum/city/fort-myers-fl/TN4JM9BRK3J7ALRIN

    2. Remind yourself of this poll before initiating contact with every woman you talk to. If you’re interested in a relationship, consider her sexual demands and propensity for variety and cheating risk. And if you want a short-term fling, consider the high probability of her having one or more STDs.

    Notice how her appeal and draw has diminished. Oddly, the hotter the chick the more aloof you can remain due to her statistically-given numbers count.

    Like


    • Even if that’s anonymous…I would still think women would lie about that number. They could never handle the real truth.

      Like


      • “I’m in my early 40’s, married with 2 kids, 1 grandchild (and another on the way). I’ve been with MANY men prior to my husband, he knew this when we were dating, accepted it.

        We love each other, but I keep a man “on the side” that he knows about. I love sex, can’t get enough of it. It works for us!”

        LMAO, a man on the side that husband knows about? If that doesnt convince betas to be alpha or go home, nothing will. Cant say I blame muslims for stoning adulterers.

        Like


      • I also bet that she is on the north side of 200 pounds.

        Like


      • Only lefty libtards blame muslims for how they treat their women.
        I blame them for a lot of things. But the way they treat their women is how they earn my respect.

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 7:56 pm gunslingergregi

        don’t let em fool you arab woman are the most pampered woman on the planet
        a shitload of them have live in maids cleaners cooks and drivers and don’t have shit to do.

        Like


      • If they’re Saudi women, or women of oil-rich Gulf States, they are pampered, the rest are….well, I don’t know what. A little bit of both.

        Don’t forget, at times the husband has more than one wife and that doesn’t make a woman happy, even an Arab one. I can’t see this making any West woman happy, unless she is weird.

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 8:28 pm gunslingergregi

        yea cause western woman so happy working those minimum wage jobs riighhttt
        mcd’s kfc wherever full of woman working with shitloads of grease yea us bitches got it great sooooooooo happppppppyyyyyyyyyyy

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 8:29 pm gunslingergregi

        us chicks got thousands of husbands they even wipe the ass of for 7 dollars an hour and happy right?

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 7:57 pm gunslingergregi

        its called a giant fucking lie

        Like


      • Boy, you really mean business!

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 8:19 pm gunslingergregi

        well except for the woman in the countryside and they are living like 100’s of years ago intregal part of a team of the family unit just trying to basically survive just like the rest of their family.
        i guess its wierd how the comment can split another and look diferent huh
        but yea little bit of both yea pampered not working in mcdonalds or wendys or cashiers or as waitresses or as call center chicks or as whatever low paying job a lot of chicks work at. Which dealing with maybe having another chick in a rich dudes house who can afford two is probably worth it.
        cause last i checked chicks that spent their lives working a cash register ain’t that happy bout it

        Like


      • She is in her early 40s and already with a grandchild and another one on the way????

        When did she have her first child, 16?

        Got to be also because she had so many men before marriage. Must have lost her virginity at 14. Speaking of skanks.

        Now she has a man “on the side” because she loves sex with other men besides hubby. Since when do grandmothers love this much sex? I’m ready to throw up, seriously.

        I wonder if her daughter is married. Probably not. This type of behavior tends to run in families, like alcoholism or whatever. Women like her shouldn’t be allowed to have children so they can turn out as skanky as mama.

        Like


      • I hate to say it but it’s trailer trash

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      • Are you a girl or a guy?

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      • Why can’t I comment where I want? Everything is posted at the end and now it makes no sense.

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      • I’m glad I’m not the only one

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    • Good.

      I normally call to mind photos of aborted fetal matter, and remember that her cunt is probably the scene of a crime.

      Like


    • I don’t need polls to know that women are scandalous.
      Just like yareally says, act non-judgemental like even if she was in a calcutta brothel it won’t matter. Now, I can’t unhear all the shit that I’ve heard.

      That poll sounds close to the truth though.

      PS: Marriage is for chumps.

      Like


    • If this doesn’t help you take women off the pedestal I don’t know what will.

      Like


    • lol someone post this at hookingupsmart, Aunt Sue’s current article is about how hooking up really isn’t as common as the Manosphere would have you believe and most women are all virgin saints lol

      Would love to see how her hamster spins out of this one in the comment section.

      I’d post it but she deletes everything I write lol

      Like


      • @YaReally

        Hey, I really enjoy reading your comments regarding infield stuff.
        As someone who is just starting out, I could use some insights on occasion.

        For instance, I have been getting good at numberclosing, but I fail to set a proper sexual frame. How exactly do you do this? I don’t want them as girlfriend(s) or anything, I merely want to convey that a FWB / FB thing would be cool, but otherwise I am fine with being left to my own devices. Do you call the girls? Just text? Do you use whatsapp ? How soon do you call or text them after the number exchange? How frequent thereafter? What does tight phone game look like? Do you use routines / DHV via phone or do you just keep it as short as possible to get a face to face (or face to cock) meeting asap ?

        If you would not mind, I’d like to exchange e-mails.
        Mine is dj_k13 [at] yahoo.com
        I promise I won’t pester you with miniscule BS everyday, it would simply be helpful to have someone experienced who isn’t full of shit to talk to when sticking points occur.

        If you don’t want to be contacted via e-mail, that’s cool. Could you just write up one of your successful cold approach pick ups in the most detailed fashion possible so I can derive some info from that?

        Also, I am not a keyboard jockey. I go out three times a week, shooting for four this month.

        Like


    • Girls, we all know what men are like so half your total and half again, if still above 10 half again!

      My beloved would be horrified at my total, I was a wild, wild chick who could’t get enough, from the age 20-28 I always had 3-4 guys on call, I must have done well over a 100…

      Ah, self-aware hamster… I can respect that.

      …sounds a lot but not for 8 years.

      Never mind.

      Like


  29. on October 3, 2012 at 5:16 pm gunslingergregi

    yea i guess i posted a bunch but i think it really applies to the shit this site posts about and the battle that you are looking at with a college educated chick that internalized the anti male message (masters degree) ya really got an uproad battle on your hands to turn her into the type of woman you can have a truly loving relationship with

    Like


  30. on October 3, 2012 at 5:22 pm gunslingergregi

    pick up line:

    love what the fuck you know about love nothing

    Like


  31. Have actually used this one more than a few times:

    Smile bemusedly and say, “Ah, I see you’re channeling your inner bitch tonight.”

    Always gets a surprised but delighted smile (all women secretely love to be thought of as bitches) but if you keep your smile and hold your eyes on her, she’ll know she’s dealing with an alpha dog who will fuck her hard from behind while one hand pushes her face into a pillow.

    And the pussy juices will begin a’flowing…

    Like


  32. — “Hold that thought.” Drink, talk to the bartender or a friend, or just stare at the wall. She will expect you to return to the conversation. You won’t.

    PURE GOLD.

    Like


  33. “Oh. It’s just you.”
    “Guess someone skipped a cotillion class, huh?”
    “The only reason I’m talking to you is because the pick-up artists say you should approach the fat girls first. Now go away, you’re bothering me.”

    Alternatively,

    “Oh, you must be the one everyone was talking about.” Giggle all the way to the men’s room . . . and then watch her bug out the rest of the night to figure out what “they” were saying about her.

    Like


    • Arrgh, I was just about to say how refreshing it was to see people coming up with unflustered alpha comments rather than butthurt beta-rage ones…

      …and THEN you dropped the “fat girl” line.

      1) Insulting a girl by calling her fat or ugly = tryhard (and women KNOW you just said that because she blew up your spot, men don’t approach women they have zero interest in banging.)
      2) Using more than 10 words to dismiss her = tryhard.
      3) Referring to “the pick-up artists” = weird and tryhard.
      4) “Now go away, you’re bothering me” = butthurt and tryhard.

      CALIBRATION IS KEY. (Your first two weren’t bad though.)

      Like


      • And your last one is actually really good. But drop the “well, I only approached you because you’re fat and ugly and Mystery told me fat ugly girls put out faster, and I read everything Mystery writes, and anyway you’re a bitch so leave me alone no I’m not upset at all BAWWWWW” nonsense.

        Like


  34. on October 3, 2012 at 7:28 pm gunslingergregi

    got this chics contact off dating site 3 weeks ago or so
    Maybe 2

    ”””
    me: whats up why haven’t we gone out yet
    ”””

    ””
    chick: idk u havent gotten ahold of me to hook up … so u let me know when ur ready to hook up
    ”””””
    my next move?

    Lotsa cockas maybe
    lollzzz

    Like


    • on October 3, 2012 at 7:39 pm gunslingergregi

      one line to fuckclose whats up now bitches

      Like


    • on October 3, 2012 at 9:15 pm gunslingergregi

      didn’t say anything
      ”””””’

      chick:whats up stranger lol.
      ””””””
      getting number now

      Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 9:16 pm gunslingergregi

        not bad shes playfull

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm gunslingergregi

        texting her

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 11:06 pm gunslingergregi

        got tit pics allready jebus wtf and snatch

        sent reg pic
        chick: i take it you like it lol
        (chick did makeover to look like the blond chick i was with up until 2 days ago that i had pics of me and her on the site i met this chick at lol)
        me: not bad with the straight look
        chick: lol
        me: what made ya go blond
        Chick: thats my natural hair color
        me: lol for realllzzz
        chick: yep
        me: allright gonna need pic lower down to prove it
        chick: i’m not blond down below lmao
        me: allright still gonna need pic for further study
        chick. lmao can i send them to you tomorow i need to get to bed have to be up early to get kids ready for school
        me you can do it now i’ll wait the two days for them to come in
        (took a bit of time for her pick to come through)
        chick: lol ok
        me: making it fun even though past your curfew
        chick lol i always have fun i’m a naughty girl
        me: are you just saying that
        tit pics putty pics
        me k i can work with it

        god dammit just sent wrong text to diferent chick grrr

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 11:09 pm gunslingergregi

        tell her to go to sleep
        surprizingly texts me back

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 11:19 pm gunslingergregi

        another chick sending me tit pics so congruent

        i guess the line out of the blue on former posts works like a champ

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 11:21 pm gunslingergregi

        when you get the i got to go to sleep shit test and you put em down
        they will not stop talking

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 11:29 pm gunslingergregi

        seriously though the shit gets out of control when i am trying to handle some shit and my fucking phone becomes grand center terminal

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 11:41 pm gunslingergregi

        life is the foreplay sex happens at intermitant points of my chosing ”’

        i thought that was a good one he he he

        Like


      • on October 3, 2012 at 11:45 pm gunslingergregi

        chick: ur a loveable one aren’t you
        me: it happens

        Like


      • on October 4, 2012 at 12:08 am gunslingergregi

        every chick in the world is calling me at this time wtf
        and chick coming over to blow me

        this is funny flipped the script
        ””’
        chick:thats funny shit u can use me for money and i will use you for your touch and cuddling when i want it lmao
        ”””
        the circle is almost complete

        Like


      • on October 4, 2012 at 1:33 am gunslingergregi

        sent reg pic
        chick: i take it you like it lol
        (chick did makeover to look like the blond chick i was with up until 2 days ago that i had pics of me and her on the site i met this chick at lol)
        ”””””’
        this is just a little bit scary cause this chick been thinking about me way too much the last two weeks cute too though i guess but ahh

        guess she wants me no doubt

        Like


    • “Bring da movies.”

      Like


      • on October 4, 2012 at 12:09 am gunslingergregi

        yea this pussy in the bag bro just doing some cleanup work and the chick 3 hours away which i am thinking with the shit that has been happening lately is a perfect distance away. No showing up at my house crazy at 3 in the morning

        Like


      • on October 4, 2012 at 12:20 am gunslingergregi

        i got the shit test yea keep it short or get this
        chick: didn’t you say you had a woman
        me: i got you right now
        chick lol do you have another
        me yea there is competition
        chick: lol then i better work hard when you get here then huh…

        oh yea passed that bitch boo yaaaa!!!!

        Like


      • on October 4, 2012 at 12:23 am gunslingergregi

        me mmm hmmmm
        chick: then will do you so good when you get here u won’t want to leave!!!

        oh yea

        Like


      • on October 4, 2012 at 12:30 am gunslingergregi

        good night put a bow on it game over

        Like


      • on October 4, 2012 at 12:40 am gunslingergregi

        me sounds good
        chick: kk im going to bed now to have pleasant dreams of you touching me
        me:cool babe night
        chick good night will txt u tomm or you can text me
        me k later
        me wait
        chick what am i waiting for
        me give me kiss goodnight
        chick: and how u want me to give you a kiss goodnight
        me just a kiss a sensual one

        (this chick is about to get included

        Like


      • on October 4, 2012 at 12:45 am gunslingergregi

        chick awww then im sending you lots of them and you can have the real ones when you get to me !!!!
        me sweat dreams
        chick u too!!

        allright maintained allthough didn’t go for the phone sex but we will see how that works out i guess

        Like


      • on October 4, 2012 at 12:59 am gunslingergregi

        “bring the movies,”
        is what i do after i lay the groundwork for the initial win
        just like the second chick sending me titty pics was someone i allready did that with so was able to just grunt lol

        Like


      • BOOM. And then hand her a bag of Skittles and walk away. Instant legend status 😀

        Like


      • on October 4, 2012 at 11:58 am gunslingergregi

        yea haven’t really seen anyone else post from beginning to fclose twice

        Like


      • on October 4, 2012 at 12:01 pm gunslingergregi

        in that much detail never

        Like


      • on October 4, 2012 at 5:22 pm gunslingergregi

        time for vacation away from this shithole hitting a regular then the new chick only hour away works out
        i’ll be sure to hand a bag of skittles to her when i leave

        Like


      • on October 4, 2012 at 5:26 pm gunslingergregi

        i actually typed a text to the chick i been hanging with before didn’t send it delteted it but my resolve is weak so yea time to get the fuck out of dodge

        Like


  35. on October 3, 2012 at 7:32 pm gunslingergregi

    ””””’
    me:so lets go find some views like in those pics
    ””””’

    ”””””
    chick: and where would we go first
    ””””’

    ””””
    well i guess it depends on how old you are
    ””””

    ””””
    37 and you
    ”””’

    wtf the pic looks almost too young oh well
    had to make sure
    but ahhh

    Like


    • on October 3, 2012 at 10:30 pm gunslingergregi

      ””””’i have many current pics..do u have any atall?
      the one i upped a month ago is current..im wearing a spider necklace i just bought.
      if u want more current than that id have to consult my cell as thats where i keep them..;)
      …your turn cowboy
      ..””””

      I’m stumped and how the fuck did she know i wanted to be a cowboy

      Like


  36. “What?”

    Like


  37. Had to include this.

    Like


  38. From the movie ‘Lockout’:

    Guy: “Shhhh.” (long pause)
    Girl: “Did you hear something?”
    Guy: “No, I’m just enjoying the silence.”

    Like


  39. Gunslingegegeggereggogooeogi or whatever

    STOP COMMENTING SO MUCH MOTHERFUCKER YOU’RE RUINING THIS FUCKING FORUM:

    Like


  40. on October 3, 2012 at 9:07 pm gunslingergregi

    there is no trailer trash they have to pay bills
    fuck off anon

    Like


  41. on October 3, 2012 at 9:24 pm Holden Caulfield

    Does she have to pull the trigger for him to be nominated for Alpha of the Month?

    http://news.yahoo.com/detroit-police-chief-suspended-amid-sex-scandal-allegations-144159871–abc-news-topstories.html

    Like


    • Actually, Denzel’s wife is older than him.
      Uber beta.

      Like


      • Denzel is a hardcore conservative Christian, to the point where he won’t even kiss other women for movie roles.

        Like


      • on October 4, 2012 at 8:26 am I LUST FOR GEISHA KATE

        dumb nigger clown wearing a baseball hat in a restaurant in italy

        where do they find these people?

        no one would know who this clown is if the sholom producers in hollywood didn’t need another nominal black actor to force feed down the throat of the white masses

        the last i heard he will be playing a BLACK AIRLINE PILOT who has an affair of some kind with a white woman (of course,)

        Question: does a black commercial airline pilot EVEN EXIST on the face of in america?

        How many could there be, if any? 3?

        Legitimate question because the IQ needed for Air Force is Mid-120’s… and the IQ of black americans approaches zero at that range (fact)

        There literally ARE no blacks who could actually fly a plane

        Like


      • I worked along side with black Americans in the USAF that were very professional pilots. Though I never knew any outside of work or what they went on to do after. Many groups have their exceptions.
        The majority of pilots and the top tier were white. Like who is fucking us over is mostly white right now. Take a look at who is really at fault for the situation most of the people that are being focused on are actually powerless.

        Like


      • on October 4, 2012 at 7:51 pm Obstinance Works

        They do fine as individuals, the ones who want to be individuals, that is.

        Like


      • One of my flight instructors at Shaw AFB was black, but truth be told, he was the only one I ever knew. I think they make up about 2 or 3% of pilots. About the same as women.

        Like


      • I guess you never heard about the Tuskegee Airmen and The Redtail Fighter pilots of WWII.

        Like


      • I thought it’s that he won’t to do love scenes with white actresses. I have seen movies where he has kissed black actresses. Maybe he is a little beta, but I like him as an actor.

        Like


      • You might be right, I remember he famously refused to kiss Julia Roberts. But I don’t think he even kisses black women anymore.

        Like


  42. In respect of the flickers of gun carry talk – here is the deal. Gun self defense that does you more good than harm will involve a large element of awareness of your situation.
    You are hot woman and you can tell that an underground garage feels scary? Own that fact of your gut perceptions Look it straight in the eye. And take Action as if you could not care less whose else feelings might get gutted. Find a buddy to go in with and if that does not feel like an enough of a better karma upgrade your defcon level of pistol alert needs to be raised. I mean, your weapon might live day to day in your purse or fitting between your ass-cheeks but that becomes irrelevant when you feel the fear rise-ing. Get it in your hand at times like that – before the bad shit takes its final form.. For one thing, you are hyper required to control it if a situation develops. For another, a person with reasonably big hands can hide a perfectly adequate slush maker while even in pretty good light – which will not be likely.

    Like


  43. I was talking to a female sales manager (pretty good looking) at a natural gas trade show in Houston, and I told her that if she eats the chipotle baby back ribs at Lupe Tortillas, people will think she is a lesbian. Her mouth dropped open a bit, and she asked me why. I told her people will think that because you can’t help smelling your fingers for several hours afterwards.

    After she stopped snorting vodka tonic through her nose, I told her I was done talking to her, because my wife only lets me talk to strange women for ten minutes a day, then I walked off in search of customers.

    Like


  44. My go to line is *pause and shrug* “If you say so.”

    Like


  45. O/T. You want to know how to act Alpha? Act like Mitt Romney did tonight in the debate.

    Like


  46. Andrew Sullivan declares Romney an “alpha male”, at 9:51 pm. I bet Romney has closed the gender gap some.

    http://andrewsullivan.thedailybeast.com/2012/10/live-blogging-the-first-presidential-debate-2012.html

    Like


    • And this from a gay man. They would know???

      Like


      • You’re just butthurt because your white-guilt messiah got creamed.

        Like


      • Obama is not my messiah; never was, never will be.

        I’m just surprised that Andrew Sullivan would say that, that’s all. He acts as if he’s a gay conservative, if there is such a thing. Either way, he’s no conservative.

        Like


      • Ok, didn’t see your post two up, just the one right above and below and came to the wrong conclusion.

        True, being a fag, as it is an abnormality like mannish women, effeminate men, fat women, etc., kind of automatically means being a leftist.

        Like


      • Glad we’re on the same page.

        Like


    • I saw some republicans are targeting the ‘manosphere’ audience. Pretty weak attempts.

      Like


  47. “C+.” She will ask what you’re talking about. “You’re flirting skills. Not bad, room for improvement if you apply yourself.”

    What should be the response if she replies “I wasn’t flirting”?

    Like


  48. Smile. To yourself. “Oh I was thinking about … skittles.” Pause. “Inside joke. Long story. Nevermind.”

    Like


  49. These are all good. I find the best responses of all are context-specific. My preferred method is to deliberately misunderstand her insinuations in a way that suggests they are not even a possibility.

    Example: I once overkilled it with demonstrating pre-selection, and a girl said something like, “Well, at least I’m not constantly trying to make you jealous.” My response was, “What do you mean? Who’s constantly trying to make me jealous?” Got an “Ugh, nevermind”…and a nice lay a few hours later.

    Like


  50. Reblogged this on Blyad.

    Like


  51. If we could just get NiteLily, Gunslingergregi, GeishaKate and Neecy to stop posting, life would be great.

    Like


    • True. Guys like Yareally and King A used to post some of the most intelligent comments I’ve read on the web. But the bullshit and schizophrenic rambling has been getting worse by the day..

      Like


  52. What’s the over/under on Heartiste analyzing the debate last night for alpha/beta tendencies?

    I didn’t watch (it’s fascism v. fascism-lite to me) but I heard President Nigger looked like the beta bitch he is next to a strong, smart white man.

    I give it 2-days max, because its such a delicious topic to set his readers off. I predict/hope a post today on it.

    Like


    • Much like yourself, whorefinder, Romney is insecure. So insecure, in fact, that he feels free to reinvent himself whenever circumstances call for it. Considering the bronzer he applied to his face last week, I think the chameleon has literally begun trying to change his own skin color to get votes.

      But Obama did turn in the weaker performance last night.

      BTW, I agree with the dude posting a few days ago who called you out for your racial hatred. He said that you were hiding something, and he’s right. The most basic principle of psychology is projection: People who intensely announce their hatred of other groups (the way you do), over and over and over and over (the way you do), are actually hating something hidden about themselves.

      So if you ever stumble upon a shred of self-awareness, let us know why you hate yourself so much.

      Like


      • Much like yourself, whorefinder, Romney is insecure.

        —lol. The old SWPL stab at pop psychology. “If you’re not a lefty, you’re insecure/secretly gay/ have issues!”

        He said that you were hiding something, and he’s right.
        —lmao. Oh yes, a freak who can’t keep his arguments straight and a SWPL agree on their pop psychology. My fate is sealed by the Jung and Freud of this board.

        The most basic principle of psychology is projection
        —And a basic technique of SWPLs is to claim that people who disagree with them is to make up a fake diagnosis they read on Jezebel.

        People who intensely announce their hatred of other groups [] over and over and over and over [], are actually hating something hidden about themselves.
        —I’m actually Valerie Jarret.

        SWPLS: honestly, you couldn’t make up people this stupid!

        Like


      • Why do you hate yourself so much?

        BTW, Reagan was very secure. So was HW Bush. W Bush and Romney: Not at all.

        I’ve never visited Jezebel, and if you read my other comments, you’ll see that I totally agree with game.

        Why do you hate yourself so much?

        Like


      • Why do you hate yourself so much?
        —lol. I hate niggers, SWPLs, and lefties.

        Why do you hate whitey so much?

        Like


  53. re: the fraud study in your tweet. Is fraud more common now, or is fraud detection easier now that we have much better computational power than we had in the 70’s? The study doesn’t answer that question.

    Fraud detection is also crowd-sourced to some extent because of the internet, particularly for controversial topics.

    Like


  54. Is it possible to go from meet to makeout and lay without saying any words? bit.ly/T5CEY6 28 minutes ago

    Totally! In my case, definitely. But only with you.

    Like


  55. on October 4, 2012 at 12:34 pm Animal Mother

    Me -“Close your eyes and hold out your hand, I have a surprise for you.”

    Shit-Tester- “Ok, I Love Surprises!”

    BOOM PIE IN THE FACE!

    Like


  56. American? (Wait response) Typical or obvious… thought you were different. Or you must be well traveled (sarcasm).

    Your parents must be proud. If she was raised by a single parent… respond with “figures”.

    Btw “charming” has to be said in a British Alfred accent.

    I think we’re soul mates…

    Shhh… don’t ruin the moment.

    Nuking a set due to defcon 5 bitch.

    STFU, bitch says “what” or Ahh that’s why… (What?)… you’re still single.

    Like


  57. on October 4, 2012 at 3:49 pm someguy302004

    My favorite is to check my watch and say,”what is this? Ball bustin’ hour?” And half look away.

    Like


  58. on October 4, 2012 at 7:49 pm Obstinance Works

    Noooo. That’s just giving women what they want. I jest.

    Like


  59. Being eager to put her down reveals you care too much about what she thinks, feels, etc.
    You want to be truly indifferent, for many reasons (benefits).
    When you’re truly secure about yourself, you have much less at stake in any interaction like this.
    Being that independent of other people’s responses is both an end in itself and a means to other ends.

    Like


  60. […] Heartiste – Reply To A Common Shit Test, Penis Size Around The World, The Dark Romance Genre, How To Remain Unflustered. . ., The Problem With Single Women Having The Vote, Reader F’ing […]

    Like


  61. sorry I’m late. Report from the front lines
    At a bar the other night. An attention whore in a low neckline and miniskirt w/ her more modestly dressed girlfriend arrived.
    Miniskirt was trying to get me to recommend a cocktail and of course buy her one too.
    I told her I don’t buy girls drink I ask them to buy me a drink.
    Two ladies watching from the left overheard and chimed in w/ guffaws etc.
    All four women gave me some grief,”You can’t buy us drinks b/c you don’t have a job etc” I rolled w/ the punches and enjoyed the attention. Modestly dressed blond then dropped the bomb,” He won’t buy us a drink, he’s not interested, he told me he’s gay!”

    The ladies laughed and I just shook my head, “oh no, and I can prove it.” I reached up to cup her head w/ my free hand, I was going to kiss her on the mouth. She must have thought I was going to whisper in her ear so she turned offering her ear and I landed on her cheek. She turned back stunned and I kissed the other cheek.
    The girls laughed and modest blonde just stared at me; no harm done.
    A woman on the left intervened, pointing to attention whore,”oh he’s not gay he told me he likes looking at this girls’ legs!”
    After the girls laughed I dead panned,” No, I said I liked looking at her breasts not legs.”
    Modest blond and I shared a few intense looks but she was too reserved to accept my advances. I whispered to her, “Actually I think you’d look great in a miniskirt” I then glanced at her rear end and said,”oh yeah you’d look great.”
    Sorry fellas I tried but the evening petered out. No sale, no numbers but I felt my technique is improving.
    Lessons learned, when sh*t tested rev up the attitude.

    Like


  62. almost forgot the best part.
    During the repartee w/ the four ladies. Miniskirt/attention whore starts a tirade how since I won’t buy them drinks I’m a useless male etc. just like all the men. What do you men do for us anyway? Nothing!”
    Without thinking twice I said,” oh yeah? what about oral sex? We do that pretty well don’t we?”
    Miniskirt was undaunted, “yeah well I do it better.”
    I smiled, ” with practice you always get better.”
    At the end of the evening I saw miniskirt on the dance floor trying some salsa dancing w/ a guy. She did well until she drunkenly fell off her high heels. When closing time came miniskirt and modest blonde nearly ran out the door. I did ask blondy for her number but she refused. I refused to follow and ask a second time.

    Like


  63. hi i read this and my boyfriend uses it in fights. and I guess he uses the ‘i find you fascinating’ one and the ‘biggest bich one’. and well all of them, i know this is weird, but have you got any for me or at least a way to respond that will gain his respect. when I hear him say these things to me it often feels out of context, and while i see where you’re getting out, seem corny and over acted. I’m sure it works in a bar, but in a two year relationship it often feels a bit fake. The worst thing is, we fight all the time so why use pick up lines or things like this, why not just dump me and go date some girl who you don’t have to use these lines with?. Is it like a challenge where you assert your alpha-ness? i guess the thing is, these lines make me feel like shit when he uses them, and it often makes me think he’s passive agressive. how should I react when he does them.

    Like


  64. A few of these really comes off as unaffected, amused and cutting at the same time it shuts her up.

    – Sarcastically, “Wow, so cold, so cold. mmhmmm.” Remove wow and mmhmm though, body language to express them is enough.

    – Stare, cock head, blank face. “Charming.”

    The others are flawed though, sometimes if ever so slightly:

    PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE: I’m glad I got to know you

    EASY START OF AN ARGUMENT RATHER THAN A DIRECT K.O – Appear befuddled. “Your question seems silly to me.”

    PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE – Furrow your brow, cock head, like your examining a zit on her face. “You’re…. weirdly fascinating.”

    FREAKY – Arch eyebrows. Stare at her for three seconds. Look away.

    WOUNDED – Look her over with neutral expression, draw in lips, slowly nod head, and exhale “yeeeeeeeahhh…..”

    PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE – “Goooooddamnit.” [act disappointed, shake head, frown] “I thought you were different.”

    PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE – “Hmm,” [pause pause pause] “you’re off to a good start, I see.”

    PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE – “Just what I needed tonight.” Smirk a little here. “A ballbuster.”

    PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE – “I’m sorry, did you say something?”

    Too EXAGGERATED, SUSPICIOUSLY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE – Smile broadly and phonily. “All right! This is fun!” Raise your glass to her, like a toast.

    PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE – “I thought I was the biggest bitch here.” [to be used sparingly on especially hot women with serious bitch complexes]

    CREEPY – Exhale loudly and slowly. Put your drink on the bar. Turn to face her. Relax arms and clasp your hands together. Brighten your face like a CareBear. “Well. You really know how to win a gentleman over.”

    PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE – “Your games are for children.”

    FRUSATRATED – “I’ve got a question.” Look at her, then look at your hand, tap the table or bar (or a herb’s forehead) with your fingers for a few seconds, stop tapping, look back at her. “Does this normally work for you?”

    TOO MANY POSSIBILITIES FOR A COMEBACK, SCHOOLGIRL PART TOO AGGRESSIVE – “I bet you say that to all the men who secretly make you a little nervous. Like a schoolgirl.”

    COULD BE MISINTERPRETED AS SUBMISSIVE – “Thanks for not making this too easy/polite/friendly.”

    PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE – “It’s a good thing I met you. Nice girls bore me.” (“Normal girls bore me”, if you want to say something edgier.)

    DUMBFOLDING EFFECT BUT NOT REALLY CUTTING – “Well.” Raise your glass to her. Smile. Nod in appreciation. “Just what I expected.”

    JOKE TOO LAME – “I’ve heard about girls like you.” Wait for a reply. “Nothing good, I’m afraid.”

    JOKE TOO LAME – “C+.” She will ask what you’re talking about. “You’re flirting skills. Not bad, room for improvement if you apply yourself.”

    PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE/TRY TOO HARD – Make a fake pained expression. Breathe in through your teeth. Squint. Put a hand to your forehead like you have a headache, or to your chest like you have heart pains. “You wound me, deeply.” Immediately after saying that, assume your unaffected poker face. “Cheers.”

    PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE – “I’ve gotta hand it to you. I was expecting a sane, boring girl.”

    WOUNDED – “Nevermind.”

    MIGHT SEEM WOUNDED – “Hold that thought.” Drink, talk to the bartender or a friend, or just stare at the wall. She will expect you to return to the conversation. You won’t.

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  65. As for comment suggestions, this is good:

    Shake head with soft, condescending smirk for a second. If she’s still looking at you, say one word. “Weak.” – Stay with weak though, more funny, childish seems buuthurt

    These are ok:
    “Guess someone skipped a cotillion class, huh?” is pretty lame and pre-planned one-linerish but it gets you off the hook,

    These suck:
    TOO INVESTED IN THE SITUATION – “you know you’re kind of cute when you’re trying to throw me off” and then chuckle a bit?
    LAME ONE-LINER – “That’s clever…how’s that working out for you, being clever?””
    RISKY, POTENTIAL DISASTER – “Ah, I see you’re channeling your inner bitch tonight.”
    TOO WEIRD – “Oh. It’s just you.”
    WEIRD AGGRESSIVE WHINY LOSER – “The only reason I’m talking to you is because the pick-up artists say you should approach the fat girls first. Now go away, you’re bothering me.”
    FURTHER ARGUMENT FUEL – “Oh, you must be the one everyone was talking about.”
    WEIRD AND PRE-PLANNED: “Oh I was thinking about … skittles.” Pause. “Inside joke. Long story. Nevermind.”
    WEIRD – American? (Wait response) Typical or obvious… thought you were different. Or you must be well traveled (sarcasm).

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  66. Lol, I like the “Hold that thought.”

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  67. *smirk* hm… cute.

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