Warming Up To Pick Up

A reader requests help with his inner game:

I’ve been reading your blog for a while now, and, needless to say, it has been a MASSIVE help with my game.  However, I have a few questions, or I should say remaining obstacles, in the way I practice game.  I’m a naturally introverted person, so it is often difficult to enter the proper frame of mind before interacting with women, or anyone else for that matter.  As Mystery had explained in his book, being surrounded by a group of friends can be a strong DHV; however, this often seems like a huge hurdle to pass for me, which is also why I find myself uncomfortable in a bar/club environment and prefer lower-key environments such as a coffee shop or bookstore, etc.

My question to you is, what is a good “warm up” to help myself enter the proper frame of mind for game? Roosh has helped clarify the matter in his book, as he explained that before you even exit the house early in the day, you should be in a more outgoing mood.  Also, a major deterrent for me many times is the fact that I find myself trying frantically to search for a “cocky-funny” thing to say to a woman to open and continue in conversation.  What is a good method to use that may help prevent this from happening? Thanks for any info.

Ok, first, on the cocky/funny tip: As soon as you start racking your brain for entertaining banter, you have condemned yourself to failure. Good banter should flow effortlessly if you’re doing it right. Generally, the more comfortable you are around someone (or some group) the easier you will find the cocky-funny lines tumbling off your tongue. Tension, anxiety and discomfort are the banter killers. If you’re feeling stressed around women, that’s because your inner game is WEAK and FEEBLE, and you are thinking in outcome-based terms rather than interaction-based terms. Remind yourself before every approach that you are there to screen women for compatibility and coolness. This will put your mind in an offensive frame, pushing outward against the mediocre masses of womanhood, instead of defensively recoiling, dreading rejection or anxiously anticipating connection.

The male mind is at its manliest when it is on the offense, goading enemies, exposing soft underbellies, or mercilessly judging potential mates. Embolden your freedom to judge, and you will smooth the path to seduction.

Second, on “warm-ups”: naturally introverted men shouldn’t have to push themselves to levels of social extroversion that are too far beyond their comfort zones. Doing this will sap all the fun from learning game, because deviating too wildly from his genetic script can counterproductively steer a man away from his goals. Don’t try to say “hi” to every person you pass on the street. But do try to greet at least one more stranger in a day than you normally do. Starting a benign conversation with even just one person is sometimes enough to kick start a nascent endorphin rush that can carry you through two or three cold approaches.

If the thought of talking to strangers gives you hives, then get on the phone and talk to a friend or sibling. Shit, talk to *yourself* if that’s what it takes. Anything to get your mouth moving and your brain lubed up is a good thing. In fact, speaking self-motivational thoughts out loud makes them ten times more effective than running them silently through your head. Try it sometime; you’ll see what I mean.

Here’s a start: Wake up every morning knowing that women would love to have the boredom of their daily routines smashed by your precious few words of acknowledgement. You are giving them the gift of novelty, and it’s they who are going to struggle with nerves trying to figure out how best to reply to your pleasant life interruptions. See what I just did there? Reframe. That’s your ticket to tight inner game.





Comments


  1. Good advice, Heartiste.

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  2. on June 8, 2011 at 3:34 am Woman from Finland

    My advice to the reader: If you are trying “frantically to search for a “cocky-funny” thing to say”, it sounds like you are desperately trying to fit her frame. Stop it! Say whatever comes out of your mouth with an arrogant expression in your face. If your words don’t fit her frame, so what? It’s her job to frantically try to figure out, why you said what you just said.

    Personally I love it when a man replies with something that has nothing to do with what I just said. Gina tingles 🙂

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  3. Placing yourself in a position of leadership or dominance (whether in a sport, in your career, or your social circle) naturally fosters inner game / confidence. Become the best at something, preferably a highly competitive activity.

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  4. As an introvert, I have to say this is more inspirational – and more helpful – than just about any game or self-help literature I’ve ever read.

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  5. It’s not about being extroverted, it’s about protecting yourself from insane women — including the one you’re with.

    If you’re single, you need to judge every woman you meet quickly so you can chop out the insanes. Turn down some 5s, then some 6s. The day you turn down some 9s you’ll understand why extrovert/introvert is not the issue.

    When you do have a woman (or women), you continue to open new gals so your brain can see if your woman is insane. Having a selection of women keeps you certain that at least one is merely minimally insane. Plus, when women know you can have multiples, they try harder not to be insane.

    Punish insanity. To start, talk to more women specifically to pull out their insane side. Game them, challenge them, ignore their requests or shit tests or boring lines of conversation, and try to get their insane out. Either they’re insane, or they will want to sleep with you. That’s a woman today. Tomorrow that same woman can go insane.

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  6. on June 8, 2011 at 4:59 am unlearning genius ...

    I am guessing Introverted dude is probably a low testosterone genetic provider-beta male?
    Are you a moderate T autism spectra case with minimal empathy skills? Or are you a high T, socially conditioned beta case? Where are you on the T, S(serotonin) matrix?
    For short term mating, chicks prefer high T.. for intermediate term moderate T high S and for really long term they like low T, high S. For help with non sexual matters they prefer nerds!
    Their preference cycles .. You can learn to spot the slutty cases by their above average display of secual availability and even smell. To maximize the odds of any encounter, you need to quickly judge your own and the chicks current hormonal state. The problem though is that both you and the chick are also computing this with your hindbrain ( an ultra rapid quick and dirty assesment). Trust me, you will start seeing the inner working of this machinery and it is so fascinating when you can see it.

    In terms of sheer number the most optimal state for a male to be in is one of high T and high serotonin. You cannot mimic high T easily. Much of this is sub-cortical rapid animal signaling. its like trying to bluff with 2-7 off suit. It might work in a few cases, but the odds are not favorable. (There are some low T, high empathy males who do splendid and are naturals).

    Now if you are indeed a high T male and held back by social conditioning, you would still be recieving lots of IOIs. Is this the case? Do you self sabotage yourself a lot? If this is the case, then Game can really help. This is usually caused by a failed oneitis. Are you certifiably low T? The best advice for the dude is to go work out — heavy squats, deadlifts, chest flys, chin ups and bent over rows. heavy compound exercises . 60-70% 1Rm upto 10-13 reps and occasional 80-90% 1rm 6-7 reps .. 3 times a week .. 30 – 45 mins ..supplement this with a well controlled diet, plenty of rest and decreased drinking ..30% animal fat, sufficient carbs + fruits , veggies.. cut off any endurance related sport like running etc. (they lower basal T levels). If you do this religiously for 2 or so years your basal T levels will start to creep up. This will automatically change your outer behavior.

    A further case is that of aspergers and autism spectra dudes. Their T levels are just fine, but their empathy skills are zero and their serotonin is also low. You need to form social groups and hang with folks. This will slowly allow you to relax and chill in front of other humans. You cannot solve this intellectually. It is a hormonal thing. You have to put in a certain number of hours just being with people. Listening to people without getting bored and such things. Being with people will raise your prosocial hormonal levels. Raised prosocial hormonal levels are essential to not creep out chicks. Chicks are very social and have higher levels of prosocial hormones. If you are a loner, you will be spotted out instantly and discarded (in most cases).

    With chicks and with life in general there is no holy grail. The solution is simple really. No amount of reading ch or mystery will change your hormonal set points. You need to act not think.

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  7. on June 8, 2011 at 5:06 am unlearning genius ...

    @AB DADA,
    “Punish insanity. To start, talk to more women specifically to pull out their insane side. Game them, challenge them, ignore their requests or shit tests or boring lines of conversation, and try to get their insane out. Either they’re insane, or they will want to sleep with you. That’s a woman today. Tomorrow that same woman can go insane.”

    Bro nice advice, but man this is harem management 501 graduate level advice .. the dude is more at a 201 course level… methinks. Nothing wrong in being a journey man .. false pride is dangerous.

    Like


  8. It does help to have a ready supply of boilerplate fascinating conversation including timeless topics and “in the news” topics. A new topic that works wonders now is the Weiner-Gate scandal in Washington. It allows the guy to talk about sex heavily while purportedly just talking about the latest political news from DC. Girls who don’t know the news will listen avidly and laugh if you are up to date on Weiner’s extra-marital activities.

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  9. Introversy/extroversy is nearly a myth. I too once considered myself an introvert, but it turned out I was just untrained in communication. Start talking with people, engage in a plenty of phisical activities, gain confidence, adopt your own inner frame and don’t give a shit about other’s peoples opinions.

    Now my girlfriend of two years thinks I am probably the most extrovert person in world, she would never know I considered myself introvert a few years ago. I still have all the analytical capabilities of an introvert if i need, but i do not show them to women.

    Introverts can become extroverts at will with good self-training. I have never observed an extrovert become introvert trough.

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  10. Introvert here.
    I believe being introverted has been an asset to my game more than being a negative obstacle that I have to overcome.

    I always have the thought in the back of my mind that I’d rather be at home nerding it up, which makes the social situation I’m in not matter to the point of getting nervous about it.

    I think introverted guys have a lot of game potential. They’ll might never have a notch count as high as an extroverted guy based on the fact that the extroverted guy will be out more, but I think the introvert has some advantages of his own.

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  11. I agree, last night I went for drinks with a guy who was really nice but obviously nervous. I was trying to make my body language as open as possible (pointing my legs towards him, touching his arm now and then, laughing etc.) but he had quite anxious body language (sitting on his hands, unable to maintain eye contact). Anyway, though I liked the guy and conversation was ok, his body language made me uncomfortable because he was tranferring his nerves onto me. Thankfully he loosened up after a couple of beers and the date became
    enjoyable.

    Confidence is an important, if not crucial quality in an attractive man. Confidence allows you to think on your feet and make witty jokes. Force yourself to say what you’re thinking (within reason), in a charming manner that’s patable to your audience.

    Fake it til you make it.

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  12. Great thoughts. Here is a very insightful article on introverts:
    http://www.geekmom.com/2011/04/are-you-raising-an-introvert/

    key points is the nature of an introvert:

    “There are a lot of misconceptions about what being an introvert actually means. It does not mean shy, or socially anxious, or socially backward, or anti-social—although I would venture to say that a number of those characteristics can occur when an introvert is pressured or forced to behave in an extroverted manner.

    Quite simply, introversion is an explanation of where an individual draws their energy; from solitude or from the company of others. Those who recharge their batteries through solitude are introverts. Those who recharge by being with others are extroverts. These differences are hardwired into us and affect everything from how our memories work to how we process information, where we focus our attention, how we communicate and even how we use our bodies. Introverts are, in the words of Carl Jung, interested in “the inner life of the mind.”

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  13. Vivi if he’s anything like me (well I would not necessarily say I am all that nice), touching more would help. Laughing might just be being polite but personally I put touching in a different category.

    Having said that, that may or may not help: if only I could muster the power to ask out the girl that kept touching me last weekend (but did not want to kiss me good bye)…

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  14. Hmm, as an extrovert it is a challenge to date introvert men. Bryant makes an interesting point, I’ll try to be more patient/tolerant in future.

    Nupi, agreed, he is a banker so prob not that nice, but he was ‘nice’ to me last night. Weird thing is, his job involves schmoozing and charming clients so I was quite surprised he felt nervous at all. (Maybe he was cheating on his gf, who knows.) Ok, will try to be more tactile, but it is hard to put more feeling on display when you’re not sure it’s reciprocated.

    Tip about the kiss…girls like to be kissed, you just have to go for it. If she’s touching you it’s a green light. Go for the double cheek kiss goodbye and linger closely, if she doesn’t pull away, it means she wants more. Swoop in.

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  15. on June 8, 2011 at 10:26 am Tony Weiner

    “I think introverted guys have a lot of game potential. They’ll might never have a notch count as high as an extroverted guy based on the fact that the extroverted guy will be out more, but I think the introvert has some advantages of his own.”

    From one recovering introvert to another – keep telling yourself these backwards rationalizations and you’ll get nowhere.

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  16. This was a good post.

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  17. You are whatever you want to be. By labeling yourself “introverted” you are digging your own hole that will be even harder to crawl out of. You are what you are, without any labels you will naturally be more free to grow and experience new things and evolve into the best possible combination of personality traits. I was always labeled as introverted growing up, but now I am super outgoing, charming and confident and I didn’t get here by reiterating to myself all day long that I was shy. Yesterday does not equal tomorrow.

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  18. Smoke a little pot before you go out on the town. Uptight urban women will never be able to figure out why you’re so cool, which will only intrigue them more.

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  19. If she’s touching you it’s a green light. Go for the double cheek kiss goodbye

    another example of why it’s a bad idea to take dating advice from a woman.

    green light means GO. go for the lips. a double cheek kiss means ‘i acknowledge that you think i’m a nice guy and that the date was enjoyable’. beta.

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  20. Talk to people. All people. All the time.

    The only way to learn how to socialize for those without skills is to socialize. Period.

    So good advice all around.

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  21. The easiest warm up in the world is to go shopping…

    Where the sales aides are young babes…

    Like Target…

    It is their JOB to interact with all customers and get them to buy…

    Being a customer/prospect immediately gives you ‘hand’ and allows you to launch…

    Typical sales gal openers: “What are you looking for?”

    Your response: “You.”

    Your response:….

    ———

    The banality of the female brain cannot be over emphasized.

    My niece has brains forever and the degrees and grades to go with them…

    Her conversations are so trite you’d swear that she’s a drop out.

    Millions of years of DNA adjustment have created/ evolved a female that is bright…

    But totally oriented towards primal goals: family and children.

    For men, sexiness is a young, tight flawless woman falling into our orbit.

    For women sexiness is a dominant man whom they may orbit around.

    A horrendous puss like Steve Tyler, Rick Okasec or Mick Jagger means nothing to women. Even a baldy like Donald Trump pulls HB10s.

    The essence of game is that ANY savvy guy can exude male sexiness by acting extremely male.

    Since modern media is effeminate in the extreme, it is necessary to visit the Chateau.

    Clarity and self respect — and a disdain for women — just a touch — draw babes like crazy.

    The hottest jock in college has babe after babe tossing herself his way. Does he respect them? Nope. Do the babes have a problem with his attitude? Nope. It just makes them want to please him all the more.

    So learn ‘conditional attraction.’ You can’t hardly imagine how powerful that is.

    So far, it has only been the babes using it on you.

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  22. Itsme, stop being a pedantic douche. You took my quote out of context and completely ignored what I said afterwards. What you said was exactly the same as what I suggested. I merely suggested the kiss on the cheek as an approach for less confident men to gauge a woman’s
    reaction to being kissed before sucking out her tonsils. The double kiss being a transition manoeveur.

    I wonder, is every day a gender pissing contest to you?

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  23. on June 8, 2011 at 12:31 pm (R)Evolutionary

    Great advice from Gorbachev and Blert.

    Game everyone, all the time. Always be teasing. Go out shopping, and interact with everyone, joke and tease.

    And always, always, be creating your frame, the dominant frame of a leader who preselects his women. Challenge them, screen them, and choose only those that pass your rigorous criteria.

    This is how you create charisma, and it takes practice to hold this frame from the beginning of an interaction to the end, the end that you choose, which is either you closing the interaction by leaving or by getting her number and/or making plans to have her meet you later.

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  24. The double kiss being a transition manoeveur.

    double cheek kisses are for friends, gay europeans, and betas.

    the green light has been given. lip to lip contact is the ‘transition manoeveur’ to sucking out her tonsils.

    when you transition from dating betas to dating women, maybe we’ll take your advice seriously.

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  25. Vivi it’s a standard of this blog to ignore what women say in favor of what will get you results.

    Itsme said to go for the lips, and explained why your advice was bad, that was it. You said you wished a guy would be more confident in a previous post, and then you gave tepid advice.

    Also… giving sit on hands guy a second date? Seriously?

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  26. Fuck the kiss test. Go straight to sticking in her pooper.

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  27. Vivi,

    ItsMe is one of the nicest guys here. Think of the forum like a verbal hockey game with body checks. I like reading what you write in any case.

    No, a man won’t ever be nervous about cheating on a gf unless he thinks she might be nearby. If he’s nervous, it’s probably something else like fear of rejection.

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  28. I have yet to see another blog drill down to the truth of humanity like this one.

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  29. Introvert or not. The essence of a good starter is picking up on the cues and using whatever props around to start a conversation…..the cup, her purse, the book, the shelves, your hat, the weather, your stupidity, your hair, her hair, your dress, the lineup, the waitress, …whatever….use it and make light of it. be creative.

    Girls use it too.

    The guy at the local video shop was wearing a bowling shirt….I asked him ( of course with an air of teasiness..I made up the word haha) ” soooo, you bowl?” I use his shirt. he started laughing and looking shy ( how sweet), even more to tease about. haha!! lol.

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  30. The male mind is at its manliest when it is on the offense, goading enemies, exposing soft underbellies, or mercilessly judging potential mates. Embolden your freedom to judge, and you will smooth the path to seduction.

    Best nutshell version.

    Still, budding puas always get this wrong, mistakenly playing this angle from illiterate boorishness.

    However, when based on the principles of educated intelligence, it works. But, increasingly less, as females race toward dregs status also. Not much works on primitive minds except base stimuli.

    See, Jersey Shore et al.

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  31. See what I just did there? Reframe. That’s your ticket to tight inner game.-Heartiste

    Faking it ’til making it still has its merits, and although you might not in fact be endorsing it here, I’m nevertheless going to bring up…

    A Problem with “Mere Game”: For parallel feats of self-deceit — in other words: to reach a scale comparable to that of the female — a male’s Hamster must run (at least) thrice the speed.

    If you’re only forcing your re-framed inner-Game upon yourself, that is, if you are mostly attempting to deceive yourself into confidence, then you’ll probably invest too much in results and thereby risk losing another necessary element of seduction, namely apathy. Deep down, you will know your self-assured demeanor is simply a front — one for which your masculine mind is still demanding proof before accepting — so you’ll inevitably crave reinforcement via success, just as a means to the legitimate cockiness you desire in order to master the frame. The danger, then, is that either your mask will be transparent or you won’t approach the girls likely to reject you, a.k.a. “the only girls worth pursuing”. This is, of course, self-defeating. (And, not to mention, a cruel case of animal abuse. Hamsters can only take so much.)

    A “Real Game” Solution: Before confidence comes indifference.

    First take yourself to a point where you don’t seek validation from the non-rational judgment of women, a level at which you largely can’t care less about what chicks think of you anymore. Considering the typical wisdom and insight of a girl and the fact that her decision is almost entirely based on whim, the time of day/month, her instinctive bodily calculation of genetic compatibility, etc., this stage (theoretically*) ought to be a breeze. Once achieved, you will soon delegate a lot of that surplus time, focus, and energy toward worthy, and ultimately self-improving, external ends. Confidence naturally follows. After that, freedom. After that, of course, vaginae.

    *According to how principled and rationally-oriented (i.e., manly, alpha) you happen to be.

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  32. on June 8, 2011 at 1:47 pm Backdoor Man

    This is a great post, and it sums up “game” as well as anything I’ve seen. When you’ve got your mojo going on, you feel unstoppable, whether you’re trying to pick up women, get noticed at work, train your dog, or order a meal at a restaurant. I’ve had some times in my life when the mojo vanished, and it infected all of the above, but all it took was a lucky break here and there to bring the mojo back, and all of the attendant pleasures.

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  33. Well you can’t tell a guy who’s too timid to kiss a girl to go straight to sucking her face off. Like many have said, you need to build up confidence, first becoming more tactile, then going for the kiss.

    Hm, itsme, funny that just because you disagree means you have to project a story about my entire dating life. Your defensive negging bullshit is lame. At least I have the courtesy to insult your arguments without making conjectures about your personal life.

    Anonymous…. your loophole argument sort of creates a win/win situation for men and lose/lose for anyone girl that dare speak up, doesn’t it?. Man says something, if a woman disagrees, counterargument vetoed on grounds she is a woman. Hmmm, no feedback allowed. It’s like when they used to drown women to see if they would float. Haha, real progress. As for the guy…I can tell he’s a good guy, just has some intimacy barriers. He’s a director of SCB so he can’t be that socially awkward all the time if he’s good at his job. He was either nervous or guilty about something. Anyway, haven’t considered second date yet, only met up yesterday, dunno if he will ask me. He mentioned dinner the week after next, but I have long learned a lesson not to expect men to follow through on what they say.

    After encountering many, I’m impervious to the showman/arrogant douche now. The best man is a confident guy who doesn’t appear to try hard. I thought the whole reason this blog was started was because women weren’t giving nice guys a chance. Now that I am, I’m being cojoled and dismissed for not judging someone by totally superficial qualities? Guys…give me a break.

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  34. It’s not really about pretending to be someone you’re not or having a game plan per se, it’s about being yourself and being comfortable communicating with women. Women like guys who know what they want and don’t have any insecurities or chips on their shoulder. Once you become more confident, the charisma will follow naturally.

    If you really want to remain an Introvert and happy with you are….I recommend you ditch the game and find a nice, simple girl who’s content to lead a quiet life with you. The Game is an Extrovert’s playground and all the sex which supposedly comes with it, comes at a price of turning you into someone different to who you are now.

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  35. The list of famous introverts is a who’s who of high T alpha males.

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  36. on June 8, 2011 at 3:17 pm David Rockefeller

    I don’t usually have trouble approaching/talking to girls. In fact, I’m reasonably outgoing with pretty good social skills (but not Bill Clinton-level extroversion).

    My problem is, while I can easily get a convo going, I delay closing. Sometimes I even forget to get her number. Which she then volunteers. Which makes me feel like a dumbass.

    I’m trying to teach myself to shut the fuck up, be more distant and let her worry I’m not interested. Trouble is, if I’m at all interested, I go into salesman mode. Staying aloof when I’m really interested is hard for me.

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  37. on June 8, 2011 at 3:40 pm Eldon James

    As a recovering introvert, I can relate to this need to feel warmed-up. If you are tempted, as I am, to use liquor, don’t do it. Never get where you want to be if you have to start with an artificially induced “social lubricant.” My favorite axiom on the subject is from that guy who wrote “Fight Club,” Chuck Palahniuk: “find out what you’re afraid of and go live there.”

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  38. Anonymous @ Vivi
    “Also… giving sit on hands guy a second date? Seriously?”

    Hand sitter is buthexxing fiat bankster. Run game on e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e my friends.

    Viva Le Chateau!!

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  39. All you need to do to get hyped up with the machismo flowin is to watch old school ric flair interviews circa late 80’s. If I knew how to imbed I would put up one of my favs…but here it is.

    The dirtiest player in the game! WOOOOO!

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  40. my bad copy n paste works

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  41. on June 8, 2011 at 4:19 pm namae nanka

    “The banality of the female brain cannot be over emphasized.

    My niece has brains forever and the degrees and grades to go with them…

    Her conversations are so trite you’d swear that she’s a drop out.

    Millions of years of DNA adjustment have created/ evolved a female that is bright…”

    Like


  42. “As soon as you start racking your brain for entertaining banter, you have condemned yourself to failure.”

    In some ways, this is a special danger when you have a fairly quick sense of humor.

    When I was a young pup, I would try way too hard to entertain the girl. I have a pretty quick sense of humor, so I figured this would be my strength. But when I made it my mission to dazzle her and make her laugh, I was invariably doomed.

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  43. I should add that it’s a lot harder to come up with perfectly timed remarks in real life situations than it is in fantasy world.

    In the comments section on this blog for instance, a lot of comeback lines the guys come up with are great. But I guarantee that less than half of them would have come up with these lines off the cuff.

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  44. But do try to greet at least one more stranger in a day than you normally do.

    This is what I did when I was starting out. Say something to a cashier. Ask a bartender for a recommendation instead of just ordering a guinness. Ask a person in a bookstore about what they’re buying. Ask a person on the sidewalk about their dog. Easy things to do, and most people will gladly humor you for a few minutes.

    Until you can talk comfortably to a complete stranger who’s NOT a hot girl, you’ll never be able to talk to a complete stranger who is a hot girl. It takes hours to get a girl into bed. You can’t be cocky funny the entire time.

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  45. on June 8, 2011 at 5:31 pm A. Nonny.mous

    anyone who wonders how an “ugly” man got a woman is either a female who’s less than 5 who’s never had an alpha man even look at her (and is thus bitter and clueless about their charm) or some beta bitch who thinks rap videos reflect reality.

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  46. on June 8, 2011 at 5:32 pm Harry Morgan

    Offtopic (well, sort of): Checking for opinions as to whether my alpha/beta mix was calibrated right in the following interaction. Have a fbuddy I’ve been seeing for a few months. She’s got some serious issues going on in her life at the moment (serious legal issue going to court tomorrow). This is one of the few topics were I drop cocky-funny frame and am generally supportive and reassuring with her, the couple of times it has come up. It freaks her out, and so I’ve used it as an opportunity to try and show just the right amount of softside. The legal issue came up in a text convo, and the following conversation message ensued:
    Me: c’est la vie. court tomorrow?
    Her: Yup… Should be awful.
    Me: chin up, you’ll be fine.
    Her: You don’t know that.
    Me: no, but it’s important to me that i’m right
    Her: Haha how does it affect you significantly
    Me: because I care about you and it imacts you
    Her: K

    I should note, there’s more between us than just banging. It’s a casual thing, but there is definately mutual affection. Curious whether peeps things I tipped the beta hand to far or her reaction was something else. Note, other than this issue I generally maintain a cocky funny frame and won’t give her a straight/serious answer to almost anything.

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  47. on June 8, 2011 at 5:33 pm Harry Morgan

    Ugh, please excuse the numerous typos.

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  48. Masturbation alone = having sex with a 3. Masturbation to high-speed internet porn = having sex with a 6. $250 = having an hour of sex with a 9.

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  49. I forgot to add, virtual reality sex = sex with a 6.5. Early prototype sexbot = 7 (?)

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  50. on June 8, 2011 at 7:01 pm driveallnight

    @Harry Morgan:

    You: Court tomorrow?
    Her: Yup, should be awful
    You: Got any orange lipstick?
    Her: ??
    You: At least you’ll match if they haul you away.
    Her: Lol, I hate you.
    You: Just want you to look nice through the safety glass when I come for visitors’ hours.
    Her: ;(
    You: What? I care.

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  51. on June 8, 2011 at 7:06 pm Harry Morgan

    @driveallnight

    Pretty good banter, but I’m not sure I am, or want to be, enough of an asshole to joke with a girl about the real possibility of her going to prison. Maybe that is the right way to go, but my instincts (which have been know to lead me astray) suggest this is one of the few situations in which showing a little caring (comfort stage stuff) might be in order.

    Like


  52. Vivi if you were a man I’d make a sentence by sentence break down of your posts to show exactly how full of it you are. You claim not to be one, so I won’t waste my time to have it discarded by your emotional brain. A man is critical of your advice, makes a general statement based on one of the core tenants of the blog writer’s philosophy (women have no idea what drives their sexual attraction), and you start shouting BIG WORD DIRTY WORD like a high school girl.

    You could read through the back posts for a gist of what normally goes on around here, and then you’d know that this blog has little to do with empowering women to allow nice guys CHANCES to win them over. It’s more about how to effectively hide the fact that one may possess any redeeming qualities until they can leverage said qualities for a chance at sex. With a real life woman, gasp.

    If this sounds insulting to your gender, you can simply chalk it up to the accumulated years of male female interaction being distilled by wannabe behavioral scientists in the field. You could also try listening to the advice being shouted by men.

    Men compete, and mocking a “beta” who isn’t hacking it while interacting with a female is the norm. That you would entertain the thought of giving the guy a second date when he was nervous and then helping him along could be admirable. That or you could just want to date a successful guy that is attractive enough to rationalize walking him to home.

    If he was on the other hand feeling guilty or nervous because you were touching him and his girlfriend’s girlfriends were there eye hating him or whatever, would you still go on a second date? You obviously already contemplated that possibility, but your talk of not expecting him to follow through with things (based on a generalization of males) would lead one to believe that you would have dinner / a night out with hand sitter/cheater again.

    Like


  53. @Jerry, thanks. Will bear in mind what you said about the gf. To be fair he wasn’t exactly sitting on his hands like a child, more he slid his hand underneath his leg. Anyway, I just noticed it. Maybe he’s good at his job but an introvert who takes a long time (if ever) to get out of his shell with women. He was very good at introductions but I feel like the formal barrier will be up for a long time.

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  54. @Vivi: “Anyway, haven’t considered second date yet, only met up yesterday, dunno if he will ask me.”

    “Maybe he’s good at his job but an introvert who takes a long time (if ever) to get out of his shell with women.”

    Or maybe he just wasn’t that into you and was too polite to leave.

    Regulars will note the solipsism: He seemed introverted to me = he must be this way with all women.

    Like


  55. Well, I did consider that, but he was the one who asked me out. Considering he looked nervous from the minute we sat down…seed odd for a first date. Anyway, I have no expectations. Just thought he was a nice despite a little awkwardness. Would have felt more comfortable if he was a more relaxed person, which was the original point I made re confidence. The way you feel transfers to other people.

    Like


  56. After learning and practicing game, I think two thinks are important. One is learning how to identify the IOI’s of when women are open to talking to you.

    Mystery’s 3 Second Rule is pure gold. If a woman makes eye contact with you for any reason for more than 3 seconds, you need to go over and talk to you.

    That has helped me get over any initial anxiety. That makes it easier to approach with anything.

    Cocky-funny is good, but a witty off-hand remark can be easy.

    For newbies, it’s good to have a few lines or openers in mind. There’s a great section here on that in this blog: ‘openers’ in the search engine.

    But for me the smile and the IOI’s are key.

    Like


  57. Well you can’t tell a guy who’s too timid to kiss a girl to go straight to sucking her face off. Like many have said, you need to build up confidence, first becoming more tactile, then going for the kiss.

    that kiss needs to be on the lips, not the cheeks. if the guy can summon up the courage to kiss a girl on the cheeks, it doesn’t take much more

    and by the way, kissing on the lips doesn’t automatically mean ‘sucking her face off’. even most of us guys here know that.

    Hm, itsme, funny that just because you disagree means you have to project a story about my entire dating life. Your defensive negging bullshit is lame. At least I have the courtesy to insult your arguments without making conjectures about your personal life.

    in your first post you described going on a date…with a beta. he acted like a beta and you perceive him as beta. you even have doubts that he will ever alpha up, as evidenced by your ‘if ever’ qualifier in your post at 7:09.

    his job has nothing to do with it. he can be successful at schmoozing his clients at work but still be shit with women, because he is using two different strategies. one works, the other doesn’t. it’s true that many men who are successful in their careers are successful with women, but there are plenty of guys for whom this success does not automatically carry over.

    Anonymous…. your loophole argument sort of creates a win/win situation for men and lose/lose for anyone girl that dare speak up, doesn’t it?. Man says something, if a woman disagrees, counterargument vetoed on grounds she is a woman. Hmmm, no feedback allowed.

    your feedback is allowed, because heartsie hasn’t deleted your post. but some of what you say is being dismissed because it is not congruent with what those of us who actually date women know.

    Like


  58. A good way to motivate yourself is not jack for a week. This will reduce AA as you are horny and you wanna approach.

    Another good way is to warm up with store clerks or people who are supposed to help you. This gets you in the social mood and gets you bantering.

    Like


  59. I am not actually shy about kissing girls if they have shown some clear interest. My recollection is not entirely clear (I was pretty drunk – we were out for karaoke in group of about 20 which you cannot take sober) but I think I tried going for lips and she might have slightly turned me to her cheeks. Then again, this is Asia and some things are different, maybe its just one of these “cannot do this before the first date” type of things.

    I should just try to ask her out (but have so far not bumped into her when she was alone….)

    As for the introvert story, you generally cannot move from being a clear introvert to an extrovert (some people are sort of on the fence in which case I guess it may work). Instead, it is an innate part of your personality. I think its somewhat orthogonal to game, too. While extroverts are generally more at ease going up to strangers (which certainly helps) I know plenty of introverts who can do it and plenty of extroverts who still do not do it.

    As for the banker: I know several people who are very good with clients (I am a strategy consultant) but outside work rather shy. It is something of a frame dependent effect I guess which people (including myself) cannot really control. Most people who have been working with clients for a few years have become comfortable with that (or they would have stopped doing it) but could not every push themselves far enough to get comfortable with women. In fairness, bankers as a whole seem to be rather an extrovert bunch.

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  60. I only read a few replies, but they seemed to misuse the terms “introvert” and “extrovert”. These are not terms that indicate your level of social skills, or even your desire for social interaction. They instead indicate how your energy levels are affected by others.

    For an introvert, social interaction is a mentally-draining activity, and after socializing the introvert needs solitary time to recharge. For the extrovert, being alone is draining, and socializing is an energy-gaining activity.

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  61. I am a solid low-energy introvert. But I’m also high-T, tall and very successful in unconventional career paths. As a result I basically employ Clint Eastwood game. It works for me.

    You have to take what you are and work from that. Everyone has the fundamental DNA to be a PUA… your existence on this earth after thousands of generations is proof of that. Be the PUA that your fundamental personality is most in tune with.

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  62. If you wanna be happy
    For the rest of your life,
    Never make a pretty woman your wife,
    So from my personal point of view,
    Get an ugly girl to marry you.

    If you wanna be happy
    For the rest of your life,
    Never make a pretty woman your wife,
    So from my personal point of view,
    Get an ugly girl to marry you.

    Like


  63. I like the projection technique of the last paragraph. Imagining the girl experimenting all the fears that generates AA makes me smile and gain confidence.

    Another nice approach for me to get inner game was to embrace some “optimistic nihilism” when I truly grasped and learned the true nature of women:

    “So they despise white knights? Damn good news!! Then I can be the selfish, egocentric, inconsiderate asshole I secretely wanted to be all the time and get away with it!

    So women are constantly tearing themselves with gossip and thrash talk on each other’s backs? Perfect, it will be easier to divide, conquer and get laid.

    They actually prefer the promiscuous male? Thank god, I was starting to feel guilty about this slut-stud standard being only my posture.”

    Like


  64. Although I still see a couple things that leave me puzzled, I’ve begun to see more and more of what CH posts about. For example, today a girl I know said to a friend of ours: “I’ll never forget when (her boyfriend) actually genuinely laughed at something I said. It was the highlight of my life, no kidding.” She’s alright, but I wouldn’t quite call her hot, however this showed to me how even average girls will take five minutes of alpha over five years of beta. I can only imagine that if she was a beautiful woman, that the effect would be even more pronounced. Game has truly opened my eyes.

    Like


  65. > Become the best at something, preferably a highly competitive activity.
    And, I’m not even joking here, something where you can belittle others without arousing anger.

    Like


  66. As far as interacting and doing well with women, extroverts tend to “peak” earlier than introverts and being that western society is generally more geared towards extrovert tendencies, favours extroverts early on whereas introverts tend to develop and achieve later on.

    With time, experience and knowledge the introvert can make up significant ground and even pass the extrovert in lays because by the age of 30 many extrovert males have gone through the maelstrom of one night stands, girlfriends, marriage and divorce and have been spat out at the other end or are still hooked in marriage.

    The whole introvert/extrovert argument is interesting but tends to be oversimplified. An extrovert can still be an AFC and vice versa for introverts.

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  67. Girl I’m friends with on FB: “You can kiss my country ass!”
    Me: “Bend over”
    Her: “lol ok”
    Me: (kicks)

    Like


  68. Bankers are a mixed bunch. Most of them are ladies men so threw me a bit to see one act shy. The good thing is he did open up more throughout the night and became enjoyable. Perhaps that was the Peroni.
    As for him being beta…didn’t seem like it, seems too proud, he just seemed like an introvert, quiet type of guy from the way he described his lifestyle.

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  69. @Harry

    You are OK doing “Vulnerability Game”. It works. It’s one of the Chateau’s Top 10 best posts. It says it is OK to alternate between beta and alpha with a woman. It excites a woman to see the contrast, the switching back and forth.

    Your text saying you care (about her not going to jail) did not hurt you considering she has a lot more to worry about now. You could have done the orange joke as well but the rules of vulnerability game say that you’re going to get a chance to alternate with that stuff.

    Obviously, one needs to read this blog until it’s second nature to think of things like DriveAllNight’s orange lipstick joke. You have to show that teasing kind of attitude at least some of the time.

    Let her give you good news and then do the orange jokes. If she’s going to jail, be there for her but also do the orange jokes. Find the Vulnerability Game post if you haven’t read it because it was one of the Chateau’s best game posts (the most important game post was “Just Say Something”).

    Like


  70. The Weiner is being asked by his own party members to step down because of his “offensive” behavior.

    That’s wrong.

    Alphas wouldn’t want male politicians evicted for being “offensive” especially because Weiner was trying to be a PUA, just going about it all wrong. By contrast, Mark Sanford was doing things correctly (trips to Argentina to see a mistress) at least until he unnecessarily cried and referenced religion in his confessional presser (I lost respect for Sanford only because he cried and begged for forgiveness and I’d wager Sanford’s wife decided to divorce him only for that reason as well, not because of his “transgression”).

    When are we going to see confessions where the politician says “I didn’t think it was anyone’s business and, no, I’m not going to ask for anyone’s forgiveness because I’m only really slightly embarrassed that it all went public.”

    The public crying has got to stop (cue Linda Blair in the Exorcist saying “Mother make it stop”).

    Enough of the Chateau’s phraseology should have gone mainstream by now and there should be political leaders who would ask Weiner to step down because of his “gamma” behavior that “raises questions about his judgment”. In assuming, incorrectly, that his real sex life would improve by sending such photos around the Internet, he was showing that he didn’t understand human behavior and is, thus, not qualified to make laws governing humans.

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  71. harry morgan,

    Pretty good banter, but I’m not sure I am, or want to be, enough of an asshole to joke with a girl about the real possibility of her going to prison. Maybe that is the right way to go, but my instincts (which have been know to lead me astray) suggest this is one of the few situations in which showing a little caring (comfort stage stuff) might be in order.

    but her response to your caring text was ‘K’. this is short for, ‘i SO did not need to hear that right now’.

    Like


  72. It would also depend what she is on trial for. Maybe you do not really want her around you, anyway?

    Like


  73. Being able to just squeeze her behind on the first date would be wonderful. Sometimes when I’m running I’ll say hi to the pretty ladies that pass by (many say hi first), many of whom are probably married. There are also plenty of rude drivers who either slow down or speed up to ensure that they’ll get in your way, I’ll usually increase my speed if I can get away with it so as to not allow them to outalpha me.

    Let us say that I’m running with traffic and want to cross the street and I could make it across the street if cars traveling in both directions, with the cars going in the same direction I am being closer and those going in the opposite direction are farther away, meaning I can wait for the car closest to me to drive by and I can cross, no problem. However, once in a while I’ll run into a jerk who will intentionally slow down, meaning that some of my time is wasted waiting for a string of cars to go by. I circumvent the problem by running backwards towards the slowing down car, run behind it, and save my time after all. One time this guy in a big and tacky white Cadillac Escalade looked at me as if I murdered his family, as if to say, “How dare you interfere with my ‘right’ to be rude to others!”

    On the topic of rudeness behind me in line at a coffee shop was this guy talking really loud on his phone, emphasizing the word “doctor” as if directed at me. Knowing what he was up to, I told my friend, “Good thing we arrived here BEFORE those people and avoided the long line.” I wouldn’t care if he were the pope or queen of England (they are just artificial distinctions based upon a collective of subjective perceptions anyway, at least the doctor has knowledge that is a part of him thus actually making him a doctor whereas a king or a pope’s position is based off the false pretense of “divine” right).

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  74. The Weiner case shows that manginas actually do get at least verbal or written sexual encouragement from attractive females if they are in a position to make anti-male laws:

    http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2011/jun/08/another-rep-weiner-sexting-partner-emerges-relucta/

    The latest woman (Noble), like the others, deliberately betrayed him, however, showing that their true respect for a mangina politician who does their bidding, is really about zero.

    Reading the linked article, there was no way that “a roommate got into her account which she left open” and sent stuff to the press “because she felt people needed to know”. The woman herself, Noble, wanted to betray Weiner out of disrespect for the way he made laws on her behalf while she had been flirting with him as well as to get 15 minutes of fame because these women know our society will not punish them in anyway for having engaged in what they had been doing with Weiner.

    Meanwhile, look at how is ex-girlfriend Kirstin Powers is betraying him publicly now for being a “misogynist” and “sexual predator trolling for women half his age” despite the fact that he’s helped her and her family in many ways:

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2011-06-08/anthony-weiners-ex-kirsten-powers-he-lied-to-me/

    When will political manginas on the left (or White Knighters on the right) learn that women ultimately do not appreciate the male politicians who make misandrist laws on their behalf?

    Like


  75. My recollection is not entirely clear (I was pretty drunk – we were out for karaoke in group of about 20 which you cannot take sober) but I think I tried going for lips and she might have slightly turned me to her cheeks.

    this reminds me of the first time i did the ‘unintentional alpha’ routine with a girl i’d met and realized (later in retrospect) that being a bit of a dick is a far more efficient and cost effective way of getting into a girl’s pants than being a nice guy.

    i showed up about 30 minutes late for our first date (no calls or texts since this was long before the cell phone era) and didn’t apologize. she didn’t seem too thrilled and i realized i fucked up. i figured the date was blown so for the rest of the evening i was distracted and not paying too much attention to the things she said. paid for food separately and i ran out of cash and didn’t have my credit cards so she ended up paying for both our drinks. totally fucked it up. after all, the man’s supposed to pay for everything, right? i mean, that’s what cosmo says.

    so at the end of the night when it was time to leave, she leaned in for me to kiss her on the cheek. i went in, and i think she thought i was going for the other cheek so she turned her head slightly and i ended up kissing her on the lips. i didn’t pull back (was actually too surprised to), but neither did she.

    i figured i wouldn’t hear from her again, but the next day she calls me up and asks me if i wanted to hang out. i had nothing better to do so i agreed.. long story short, i fucked her that night.

    it was my quickest lay ever up to that point, even though i did everything ‘wrong’. at some point later i asked her about that first kiss and she said she was expecting it on the cheek, was surprised that it ended up on the lips, but was turned on by it.

    my beta backsliding started not too long after that though, and i lost a good potential fuckbuddy. she was even open to the idea of anal, although her hamster said she was waiting for the ‘right guy’ to lose her anal virginity to.

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  76. OT but of great interest – Teacher’s rally in California teaches marxism to students:

    http://pajamasmedia.com/zombie/2011/06/08/how-a-teachers-rally-made-me-anti-education/

    You have to see the pictures to believe that the rumors are true that America’s teachers are now trying to indoctrinate children with ultra left wing ideology.

    Like


  77. on June 9, 2011 at 1:46 pm Harry Morgan

    @Jerry, itsme

    Thanks. I think both of you have valid points. The situation was one where vunerability game could apply, as a push/pull technique. More or less how I handled it; waited for her to reengage after her last text, then teased her some (the lipstick line was good) and then reframed to another more pleasant subject.

    Like


  78. Jenny Hao

    If you really want to remain an Introvert and happy with you are….I recommend you ditch the game and find a nice, simple girl who’s content to lead a quiet life with you.

    a lot of asian girls always say that because they only date asian guys. its different for you

    Like


  79. @Anonymous

    “It does help to have a ready supply of boilerplate fascinating conversation including timeless topics and “in the news” topics. A new topic that works wonders now is the Weiner-Gate scandal in Washington. It allows the guy to talk about sex heavily while purportedly just talking about the latest political news from DC. Girls who don’t know the news will listen avidly and laugh if you are up to date on Weiner’s extra-marital activities.”

    What a loser this Weiner guy is! I mean, if you’re gonna throw your career on a “sex scandal”, you should actually GET LAID, right? Tatto a big “L” on his forehead..

    Like


  80. Vivi

    You don’t see it. But that’s OK, cuz it’s not your job. Its enough that you gave encouragement to your brothers. When you encourage us to do this good thing, you help your sisters. So feel good about this.

    Like


  81. not only did weiner not get laid, but in a press conference he said he was ashamed for doing what he did.

    so he’s not just a loser, but a spineless loser.

    Like


  82. To fans of the Chateau.

    I met this girl who is a doctor out of school and is going to end up making twice as much as me. She is really in to me and I like her but do you think the wage disparity would come in the way of a long term relationship. I intend to go to B school in the near future but as of now I am not making 6 figures. Any comments/insights?

    Like


  83. on June 9, 2011 at 5:48 pm Harry Morgan

    @O-face

    Treat her like a waitress.

    Like


  84. @bryant
    “Introverts are, in the words of Carl Jung, interested in ‘the inner life of the mind.’ ”

    This is a possible advantage the introvert man has over the extrovert man with an introvert women; the introvert women is focused on the life of the mind, and the extrovert man cannot relate to that.

    OTOH, don’t be like this guy:

    Like


  85. @O-face

    “I met this girl who is a doctor out of school and is going to end up making twice as much as me. She is really in to me and I like her but do you think the wage disparity would come in the way of a long term relationship. I intend to go to B school in the near future but as of now I am not making 6 figures. Any comments/insights?”

    Middle-class income OR ABOVE gets you one point out of ten; additional money does not score more points. However, if she will make her career a higher priority than being your woman, then you are doomed.

    Like


  86. @ attractionreaction

    Thanks, I am an engineer, gotta masters in environmental engg but still come no where close to the salary range of doctors, for some reason in 2011 all the women I have gone out with through online dating websites happen to be doctors, i don’t even go looking for them Weird.

    Like


  87. @Gorbachev

    “Talk to people. All people. All the time.

    The only way to learn how to socialize for those without skills is to socialize. Period.

    So good advice all around.”

    This is great advice… for an EXTROVERT.

    As @bryant and @mukluk noted above, extroverts find introversion draining and extroversion re-charging. The introvert – like the OP Heartiste responded to – would be drained by following your advice, and not have the energy to turn on his mojo if he ran across a woman he feels attraction for.

    Like


  88. THE WALL. I HITZ IT!

    Get back on the meds cat lady.

    Like


  89. O-face, I am cheering you on. I want you to have your act together, handle this girl and not let the wage discrepency emasculate you.

    Good luck.

    Like


  90. Harry Morgan, your dialogue made us all shrivel. Being soft and BFF-femme-supportive like a big fluffy comforter and a pint of Haagen Daaz doesn’t cut it. Gallows humor is objectively more supportive than your Bridget Jones routine, whether her brain registers it or not. Mirroring her emotional weakness is precisely what she does not need. If you don’t have it in you to be what you call “an asshole” in this most important circumstance, then get it.

    Femininity is soft. Men are hard. She was born with the tools to live in a bounce house filled with balloons and puppies — and now she is facing down some hard circumstances. Your strength should be preparation for her next step, your considerate and sympathetic softness is the opposite of what she needs. By mocking her anxieties you dissipate their power, something she is not capable of doing with her limited toolbox.

    Feminism has warped the idea of good and bad, right and wrong. They have successfully relabeled manliness as aggressive, crass, crude, and evil. To act like a man when a woman is acting like a woman is proper. Showing your weakness when your strength is required is horrifying to men and women alike.

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  91. O-face: For a LTR, it would largely depend on which B school it will be. If its tier 1, no problem.

    However, looking around (writing this on B school campus :-), its kinda unlikely a possible relationship would survive B school so just have your fun now and worry about LTR later

    On the topic, the IB/PE crowd may have some advantage with girls over the rest of the crowd but I would mark link that more to personality rather than financial resource – I made more than the average exit salary before Bschool and come from a highly respected employer and still my fucked up head gets into my way…

    Like


  92. on June 9, 2011 at 9:50 pm anonymous_one

    Help, I’m stuck in a problem. I currently rate myself as lesser beta but since the discovery of this blog and the whole concept of game I’m bent on going upwards. A girl has just entered working in the same place I am. Not only she has a decent body, but she is somewhat introvert like I am and keeps this very girly aura that quite contrasts with the usual standard of women I’m used to think about. I tried to approach but the mere idea of ther actually being on reach gave me a boner that made me retreat before it was damn obvious. The idea of she being close puts me in an steroid horny levels that are making me difficult to even concentrate at work, and the last thing I need is something sending my status to even lower levels. I know I need to keep my lust under control but I just don’t know how, it hadn’t happened to me with this intensity before. Do you know any soft medication to keep horny levels under control? Any advice is welcome.

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  93. are woman really this fucking important? the less you give a fuck about woman the more you start to enjoy life

    Like


  94. “are woman really this fucking important?”

    Er, yeah. Have you learnt how to reproduce asexually? You do realise we are part of the same species? Women are not the enemy. You will do well to remember we need to cohabit to survive. Attraction and sex are based around the desire to share one’s genetic material with another to create worthy offspring. It’s not only fucking important, it’s fundamental biology.

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  95. “are woman really this fucking important?”

    Hmmm. Have you learnt how to reproduce asexually? You do realise we are part of the same species? Women are not the enemy. You will do well to remember we need to cohabit to survive. Attraction and sex are based around the desire to share one’s genetic material with another to create worthy offspring. It’s not only fucking important, it’s fundamental biology.

    Like


  96. Anonymous-one, you don’t need drugs, you need a cold shower. Maybe some confidence building and self control so you don’t feel so intimidated by her. The more you think she’s out of your league, the more nervous you will be and blurt verbal diarrhoea.

    There are antiandrogen drugs out there like finasteride which will quieten your libido, but it’s licensed for aloplecia and might even make you impotent. There’s no such thing as soft meds for this purpose.

    Like


  97. Just rub one out in the AM man. Or pop one off at work, I’ve definitely done that plenty in my day.

    Like


  98. Also hit up the gym after being near the broad. I envy the free shots of test you seem to be getting; take advantage of them. Many pro powerlifters have nudie pics posted up all over their gyms for this very effect.

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  99. Anonymous-One

    Do this. Approach the women who make you nervous and try to game them and close them. Strike Out. Be shocked. If you really convince yourself that it’s shocking that you struck out or got flaked on, you will have that much more confidence with the next one until you’re an arrogant SOB. Once you’ve got that frame, be a charming personable arrogant SOB.

    [Editor: This is a pretty good technique.]

    Like


  100. @ Anonymous_one
    Beware man. Some of the tall, lithe, and ultra feminine boner inducing women I’ve been meeting lately have struck me as odd. They seemed too nice for their level of attractiveness and education level… and I was right.

    Post op, tiny handed ex-men with super model frames, and slightly sharper facial structure that made them very striking to look at. I usually do pretty well with those Maury line ups and lady boy vs real girl pics, but maybe the hormone treatments or ass / breast implants are getting better. If it wasn’t for these “women” being kind and attractive, I wouldn’t have had a clue.

    It was like they were playing at being the male ideal of a woman, and honestly after years of real women my minds female bullshit immune system couldn’t handle this portrayal and went into instant suspicion mode. My first reaction was phony psychopath, but upon poking and cajoling it turned out to be socially adept and not maladaptive (conforming to a disturbing opinion for group acceptance, overly intense and “glassy eyes” during conversation, inappropriate body language for the situation), which once again threw me.

    The transgender angle hit me when I noticed how overly eager and engaged it was to flirting, from ANYONE. It behaved outside of the norms for even the most extroverted party slut, one with more daddy issues than Woody Allen’s adopted daughter. Even very sweet girls have a low beta tolerance, so by seeing interaction with non-worthy males, I was left with one conclusion. I knew. Just bone deep, NCIS gut, knew.

    A little bit of face book digging and I found a male friend of hers who happened to look fucking identical. A couple clicks later and the full story became apparent, graduated from nursing school then radio silence. It then reappears with female version of their name in my city, starts mingling immediately, and racks up a very impressive male harem of betas who post sycophantic responses to all of her updates. Cue barfing.

    Of course I had to confront “her”, which led to some fun conversations and debates, but I’ve noticed it so many times since then that I now operate under the assumption that an attractive and genuinely kind woman is a man until proven innocent.

    My advice anonymous_one, treat her like a post op transgender, imagine she had a dick at one point, and then tell her that. You can admit to some betaness and say “You use to make me blush, so I had to cope by pretending you were tucking your dick and dancing like buffalo bill in front of a mirror in the ladies room.” If she doesn’t seem like the type to get the joke, dumb it down and pretend you actually thought she was a transgender, start saying weird stuff really wink wink like. She’ll think you’re weird and then you ballsout ask her about her surgery and hormone treatments. If she’s a real woman she’ll be so shocked that you assumed she was a man she might instantly start qualifying herself to you. Ask her on a date if that’s the case. If you get fired for bizarro sexual harassment and the excuse “I totally thought she was a dude” doesn’t get you out of it, at least no one in that workplace will think you are a total beta anymore.
    A beta keeps his suspicions to himself and respects people’s privacy; alphas ignore social norms and satisfy their own curiosity.

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  101. @O-face
    Poon Commandments 3 and 9. If she knows you are true to your mission, her higher financial status won’t matter. Also when she’s not being a doctor, she wants to be a woman. It’s your job to make her feel like a woman and indulge her feminine side. Lead the relationship, connect with her emotions, make her feel like a woman and she will be addicted to you.

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  102. thanks guys

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  103. Advertising the third article in the series:
    Analysing female flakiness — 3 : women have shorter memories than men:
    http://oldsystemwillfall.wordpress.com/2011/06/06/analysing-female-flakiness-%e2%80%94-3-women-have-shorter-memories-than-men

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  104. Become the best at something or get a position of leadership. The traits that accompany dominance will naturally manifest themselves.

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  105. oh shit didn’t even realize i alrdy posted that.

    on a sidenote:

    You’d be surprised how shallow women are. I’ve seen men with absolutely no inner game terrorize clubs on fabricated routines and follow ups

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  106. Shark said: “You’d be surprised how shallow women are. I’ve seen men with absolutely no inner game terrorize clubs on fabricated routines and follow ups.”

    Insecurity is strength, all that glitters is gold… chicks won’t know you’ve lied to ’em until after you’ve dumped your spuzz and haven’t called ’em.

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  107. on June 12, 2011 at 1:47 am OnlyNewToTheory

    Been on one date with a woman who is at least three years older than me. My opinion – she is an 8.5 on a bad day. First date was simple – she works in a different, mostly unrelated department (technically my superior) so I got off early on Friday afternoon, popped my head into her office, said “you and me drinks at —- in a few hours” and just left without giving her a chance for a response. (I did get a glimpse of a smile as I went on my way).

    She texted me within the hour “Still on for tonight?” and I reply “Be there”

    Date went great – flirting, drinking, some light physical contact, but no opportunity for a kiss. (And I was searching that opportunity). Date ended, no contact until she called exactly a week later (seen during shared meeting during the week, but no conservation or eye contact). Fundraising event that night, she needs help with setup. I say I have a very busy afternoon/evening already planned, but would try to stop by for bit to lend a hand, but please don’t count on me.

    I went to the gym for a usual hard workout. On my way home, I stop by the event setup. Show up pumped, sweating in an casual sport outfit that is just above gym wear (not too much of a show off). With only polite hellos and handshakes in passing (and no contact with the target), I am immediately pulling tables and speakers from cars and directing the setup, but still remaining somewhat passive and following instructions. I am He-Man carrying the heavy loads and Steven Speilberg coordinating the players and set. At one point I make eye contact with the target who has this small smile on her face which I loved so much it was hard to remain calm.

    Once things settled down, I approached and asked her if she needed anything, as I was late for another commitment. No physical contact, only exchanged smiles as she said “Didn’t think you’d make it, thanks” and I replied “On on my way to —– from the gym, but I gotta run and get shower, hope for a good turn out tonight.” As turn to walk away, she reaches out just barely brushing my arm and I as look back quickly she says, “See you soon,” with that same F-me look in her eyes. I deleted her number from my phone and let’s see long either of us can hold out before the next contact.

    What did I do wrong and what should I keep doing or change so I don’t mess this up. Thanks.

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  108. Inner game? Think like Rambo when faced with a challenge…

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  109. Vivi—————–

    Are you serious???

    It is not o-face with the issue, the problem is the woman making more money and thus trying to use that a means for power and control. It is not something to just deal with, it really depends on how the woman deals with it.

    I have experienced this myself and it does not even have much to do with her income, but her perceived status, (career, new car, home, etc.). I am a free minded individual and has started various businesses and float and do as i please. On the surface because i do not havento wear a suit and tie, but was quietly making more money the ever chick i dealt with.

    I understand these are different times now, the empowered wimminz economy. I personally dont think it can susain itself and will come crashing. Then what? For decades men have willingly supported woman, they call it oppresion, but we see now it is there turn and they turn thier backs on the men, who lost so many jobs. So now men are turning thier backs because these women cant offer nothing.

    You talk about biology vivi, exactly right. These career driven, masculine, competative people are not ladies, so ofcourse the question was correct. What do you need that for, men like feminine woman, if thats not what i am getting i wont have anything to do with her.

    On another note, i saw a nice looking damsel in distress who somehow managed to get here bmw stuck on a parking block. She looked at me and i just shook my head and kept walking, i love these independent woman, now i can find other things to occupy my time like, podcasting, hang gliding, or thai woman.

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  110. “A good way to motivate yourself is not jack for a week. This will reduce AA as you are horny and you wanna approach.”

    I’ve thought about this. If you’re horny, won’t women then sense that you’re a pussy hungry beta?

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  111. Great Notations here…this is an excellent primer and worth a post and analysis just on its own. Note the shit tests. Anyone who doesn’t understand them, this is a great how-to guide on first how to identify them and secondly how to pass them.

    What I get from this is that my constantly shit-testing girlfriend who’s now in the bitchy moody stage still shows up at my work with soup she made for me, still buys beers when I ask her to and despite her constant moodiness. Game has helped to understand and listen more for when to amp it up and when to reward.

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  112. Like


  113. wala,

    don’t you find the constant shit testing in your ltr to be too tedious?

    in the early stages of relationships, a good bit of shit testing is expected. however, this should taper off once boundaries have been set and the woman learns where they are.

    occasional shit tests: expected, tolerated, easily dealt with

    constant daily shit storms of shit tests: no one pussy is worth the trouble

    maybe it’s a cultural thing.

    re: hank moody and californication

    hank only seems alpha when dealing with women he doesn’t already know. with all other women, he’s tragically beta.

    i do enjoy the show though, it’s good for laughs.

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  114. @its me….

    don’t you find the constant shit testing in your ltr to be too tedious?

    Yes….it’s draining. But the contrasts are interesting.

    She goes from shit-testing to delivering medicine to my work, to making me breakfast, to cleaning my apartment, to more shit-testing.

    Is it cultural? Yes, Chinese girls are like this.

    EVERY Chinese girl I went out with was like this.

    The only difference is that for once, I’m able to understand and keep the beta in better check.

    But yah, there’s a constant power struggle with Chinese women here who have this self-entitled princess mentality. Maybe other cultures have it too, but it’s so ingrained and local guys totally enable it, that it’s “tedious”.

    At what point do you call it off?

    The latest idiotic thing she did…went on the pill and didn’t tell me she was on the pill for two months. I was using condoms. Then the other day she mentions, “Oh, I’m on the pill….you never asked.”

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