Terse Text Game Vindicated

A reader emails:

So I’ve heard you recommend just sending “gay” back as a text in various situations. I’ve always stayed away from it, just thinking it was overly harsh and unnecessary. I met a girl at the bar this weekend, thought we hit it off well enough, got a number. She was a very cute college chick, home for the summer. Here’s the exchange.

me: hey its jack*, whats up (my standard opener to a girl i meet at the bar)
her: jack? sorry.
me: gay
her: is that your last name or are you calling me gay hahaha

I then carried on a short text convo and set up a date later in the week.

Other responses considered:
“that many guys usually ask for your number?” (neg)
“no”
“lol”
“didn’t realize you were that drunk fri”

[ed: *name changed to preserve anonymity]</>

Yes, terse text game will moisten pussies from here to Tokyo. Ambiguity, ambivalence and an air of supremacy are the hallmarks of uncaring asshole game, and that is the game that works best on the hottest chicks.

The reader’s four example replies below are also very good, except for the last one, which sounds a little defensive.

When in doubt about how to reply to a girl who texted you something flaky, you can’t go wrong with ‘gay’.





Comments


  1. gay

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  2. on June 15, 2011 at 7:18 pm Crispus E Hale

    Is “Retarded” or “Liberal” a good substitute for the word “Gay”?

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  3. I don’t like “gay”.

    Too gay.

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  4. I don’t use it. It’s a strong hand play for sure, but I’m 37 and too powerful to comment on a flaky statement. Instead, I use “and?” as a response to flaky statements. It puts them in a weak position, causing them to come up with a response, thereby forcing them to think about me consciously and subconsciously.

    Example flaky responses:

    “I feel like staying in, I’m beat.”
    “And?”

    “I’m not looking to date right now.”
    “And?”

    “I think my shih tzu is sick.”
    “And?”

    Of course this risks them giving a truthful response, like “and I don’t want to see you” but I prefer a risky move than an easy one. If they do send a shutdown response, then I can use “gay” as a response. Or “win” or “shocking.”

    2 months ago a cute 20 year old came into one of my storefronts and spit some interest at me. I put my business card down, gave her a pen and said “phone number.” She joyfully wrote it down. Then I texted her a few days later and told her to come by to look at some new equipment I had and bring some Jack. She wrote back hours later saying “Sorry, battery died.” I said “and?” a few hours later, and she responded back immediately “I would have come over if I knew earlier.” I said “liquor store’s open fifteen more minutes.” She came over, but she was two faced so I wasted a few hours showing off my technology.

    If I said “gay” i’d have played my hand too strong. When she apologized in person again for the dead cell, I told her “a backup battery is $20 on eBay.” Again, playing risky stronger hand and making her respond is better than aloof hand that might be weaker because it’s easier.

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  5. “that many guys usually ask for your number?”

    That seems more like a compliment rather than a neg (suggesting she’s in demand)?

    [Editor: Put a ‘hm’ before it and it becomes a neg.
    “hm. that many guys ask for your number?”]

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    • Actually it should be.

      (Long pause… look her over for more effect)

      “So why do so many guys ask for your number?”

      Huge DHV because its a massive qualifier/hoop since she has to explain to you why she is special from other girls.

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  6. how bout instead, “you give your number to that many guys?”

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  7. I love this site. I texted a girl with whom I have made out but suspect has a bf. I want to meet up before a show we’re going to as a group for a drink, so we can hang out after also.

    me: Big-city lesson #1 (STG: callback) at 1030 at [Street] and [street]. Ready for it?
    her: No. That is super nondescript. What does that even mean??

    I didn’t know what to respond, so I logged on and read this.

    me: gay
    her: Guy tells me to meet him on a street corner at night. I feel like a hooker.
    me: Promise I won’t pay
    her: Fine. I guess.

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  8. don’t really like any of his other considered responses w/ the exception of ‘no’. Some readers are getting too caught up in the meaning of gay, and losing sight of the context. Remember it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. That’s why ‘gay’ or ‘no’ are gonna work here better than a wordy, thought ought response. Projects the perfect indifference to the outcome.

    Personally, I would go w/ something like ‘hell yeah’, nothing beats irrational confidence.

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  9. another reason she might be flaking is because she feels insecure and that YOU are too hot for HER.

    probably doesn’t happen much with with super hot chicks, but it does happen.

    So you sort of need to calibrate your response.

    but still show that she has no weight for you

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  10. what If I get charged 20 cents per text, I hate texts. What would a say to some girl who kept texting me?

    Hey F off, I dont text.

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  11. if u get charged 20 cents per text, thats gay

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  12. What is the next runner up to ‘gay’?

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  13. on June 16, 2011 at 9:25 am Frank N. Stein

    Her: Jack? sorry
    Me: That’s so fetch.

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  14. No, the sentiment being tried for with it is:
    “that many guys actually ask for your number?” (you aren’t good looking enough)
    Not:
    “you give your number to that many guys?” (you’re that much of a slut)

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  15. Well played STG. Have to remember that response for any time girl says any variation of “what kind of girl do you think I am?”

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  16. I’m gonna try this next time a girl flakes. Gotta try more of Roissy’s material instead of the beta shit i’m sometimes i’m prone to spew out.

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  17. Never been a fan of “gay” as a generic negative adjective. I date too many bi chicks who get butthurt about it. I prefer “lame.”

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    • Agreed, Sean (not only bi girls, but girls like me with GBFs).

      A guy texted me “lame” the other day, and it worked as intended, I think. I’m not used to getting that kind of thing.

      The “and” thing also sounds good.

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  18. I like the “and?” reply alot as an alternative. At times I think “gay” is a little strong and can appear that you are butthurt.

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  19. Carmo: The big thing to focus on is that even if a gal’s interest fizzles, stringing her along can actually change that, but you need to make HER defensively continue talking. That’s the difference between “and?” and “gay” — my version puts her on the defensive (possibly) whereas the other version closes things out. There’s nothing worse in texting than to be the last one sending a text. With “and” she can reply, and you can shut up, thereby causing her to be the last one communicating.

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  20. Aaron

    how bout instead, “you give your number to that many guys?”

    gay beta

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  21. A.B.: great point, will be testing out the “and” here shortly.

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  22. I’m wearing a face mask, but had to laugh at the last line, “you can’t go wrong with ‘gay'”.

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  23. “Gay” comes across like he’s upset she didn’t remember his name… so yeah not too sure about that response.

    [Editor: No, it doesn’t. It comes across cheeky and impudent, which is not the same as butthurt. An unpunctuated ‘gay’ is just the stuff for revving a girl’s hamster.]

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  24. “gay” works. “lame” doesn’t. I’ve tried “lame” a bunch because homophobia is stupid, so I don’t like “gay” as an insult. It did not have the same effect.

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    • Awesome line earlier, “I promise I won’t pay”, def gonna use that one. I tend to use “lame” more than “gay” and in my experience they seem to work equally well, so I’m surprised that you’ve seen such a difference.

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  25. “Oh Cock.”

    Is a lot better. Since it will cause confusion, curiosity, anticipation, and excitement from the subliminal imagery of a giant phallus wielded by an alpha. It’s also a huge cocky and funny line. Maximum effect on girls you slept with so they can fantasize and remember the last jack hammering.

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  26. I always ALWAYS write “If u dont kno im not telling” (after an appropriate amount of time to reply) When I get the “sorry. Who?” bullshit. This seems to drive chicks wild. I’ve even got back “Oh I know, I was just fucking with you!” as a response.

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  27. “is that your last name or are you calling me gay”

    Seems like she is gaming you. I think this back fired on you chief.

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  28. Text game is GREAT. Bitching about it is just like the guys who won’t play chess … here’s an example: http://two.cedonulli.com/2011/06/text-game/

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