Running Solo

A reader asks:

First of all, great blog.  A lot of the information conveyed here has been useful to me in consciously making a positive impact on my “gaming” skills….it’s almost eerie to think back and realize the times where I unknowingly ran game and was getting the strongest attraction without knowing why.

Anyhow, I’m more of an introverted guy….21, recently started going to bars on the regular.  However, most of the time I run solo.  I’ve lurked here for awhile now and gotten a good feel for game, but there’s still some psychological itch about not running with a group as often as I used to that makes things feel somewhat awkward.  I’ve searched the blog, but found nothing specific pertaining to “solo” game.  Are there any specifics that you would suggest keeping in mind when going it alone?

One specific problem I’ve run into is my age….a lot of the 23 + older girls seem to have their interest doused by hearing that I’m a mere 21 years old, even if everything else has been going smoothly.

I used to run solo at least twice a week. My best pickups (that is, the hottest chicks I banged and the quickest I moved the seductions to the bedroom) happened when I approached a girl or group of girls by myself. Unless you’re still in college, you shouldn’t be rolling with more than two buddies, anyhow. The more men in your group, the douchier you look, and the less courageous you’ll seem to girls who have to deal with wolf packs of sausage eyeballing them every time they go out.

The awkwardness you feel is strictly a fear based on how you will be perceived by girls. The act of running solo itself is not the cause of your bad feelings. It’s the fear that girls will think you are a loner without friends.

In my experience, this fear is totally overblown. Most girls don’t immediately lurch to thoughts about your lack of friends when you approach them solo. They are sizing you up and that is a function entirely of your game. When going out alone, just enter a frame of mind that you are the mysterious, dark stranger with a wealth of worldly experiences to share with someone worthy of your company. If girls ask about your friends, tell them you left them behind at a crappy party that was too pretentious for your tastes. Or just say you went out without them because they hold you back.

As for your age, my advice is to lie if you want to take the path of least resistance. It’s true that a lot of girls have a mental checklist that forbids them from dating younger men. Women are, by and large, viscerally attracted to older men. The cougar phenomenon is swamped by the older man-younger woman dynamic. If you don’t want the hassle of dealing with this constraint on women’s desires, then just fib about your age.

On the other hand, it’s a relatively simple subterfuge to neutralize an older woman’s objection to sleeping with you.

HER: You look young. How old are you?

YOU: You first.

HER: 23.

YOU: Oh, too bad.

HER: What?

YOU: You’re too young for me. I normally date women in their 30s. I find them much more interesting to be around.

HER: [massive self-qualifiying]

If you have good game, age won’t be much of a barrier to sex. Or love.


  1. A guy who is confident enough to go to a bar alone and not seem the least bit bothered by it will appear mysterious and the women will immediately be curious. It will help greatly if he is well dressed and aloof. Don’t people watch. Just be into whatever you are doing. Nothing else matters except for you. It will drive the women crazy and they will want to know who the hell you are.


  2. on June 29, 2011 at 12:46 pm incubus the tickler

    What about the opposite problem? Besides staying fit, what are some good lines if you’re 40 and a 23 year old is horrified at the age difference? Just say the same? Oh, you’re too young for me?
    My usual line is (was) “my bad. I thought we were both grownups.”
    This seems to make them so pissed they walk away. Is that a bad comeback, or is it my delivery?


    • “Guess.”

      “[insert guess]?”

      “Wow, you’re psychic!”


    • on June 29, 2011 at 2:35 pm Hippopotimus

      Its probably a one off. I’m 34 pounding a 21 yr old. My buddy is 43 splitting a 23 yr old regularily. I’ve never had an issue with younger girls taking issue with my age.

      They want power and Im happy to give it to them at a medium pace.


      • Do you have kids? Also, do you have any physical characteristics that suggest your age – balding, grey, wrinkles, extra weight? or without knowing your age, could you pass as a guy in his 20s?


      • No way could I pass for a guy in my 20s, but I’ve had white hair in my beard and temples since I was 17. Even in my 20s I passed for early 30s.

        But yet I date young women. Just have strong hand, frame it as something she’s missing, and the age gap is irrelevant. When women ask my age, I ask them how old do I look. I usually get 32, to which I say “close enough!” and change the subject.

        That being said, I look a decade younger than every guy I know that’s my age. I stay thin (paleo/primal), hit the Bowflex twice a week (lean muscles), keep an even tan (Florida or California twice a month) and dress tailored. I’ve been told endlessly that I’m hotter today than any time in past ten years.


      • on June 29, 2011 at 10:21 pm incubus the tickler

        Little bit of grey but it’s hard to see – slight gut (34 inch waist) but I lift & run. I get carded for booze occasionally, smokes rarely – pretty sure I could pass for 30.
        Probably was a one off, or I was off my game that night. I did seem to score more 22 year olds a few years ago; but even 29 year olds look fairly young to me now (they are looking for marriage though -difficult no thanks).
        In fairness, this girl was a solid 8 in a bar full of Fratti McDouches.
        I do look a little preppy, also, & this girl was more of a motor head.
        Wondering also if you can be too well dressed? Im just a bean counter but if I go out after work im in dressier clothes, which might turn some of them off.


    • on June 29, 2011 at 3:40 pm Good Luck Chuck

      Right idea, wrong execution.

      Younger women want older men but their societal programming needs to be shut off. If the age thing doesn’t come up don’t bring it up but if she asks you can reframe the dynamic 180 degrees by making HER state her age first, and when she does, your line is “Oh my god! You’re just a baby! Am I going to get arrested for talking to you?” Younger women want to think that they are mature and this will immediately force her to start qualifying herself.

      The only time this might not work is if you get a sassy one who tries to turn it back around on you, but that’s just a challenge to keep ramping it up until she submits.

      [Editor: Chuck, the emailer is a younger guy who has trouble picking up older women, so the way to handle that shit test is a little different than how an older man would handle an objection from a younger woman.
      As for your example, I’ve seen it formulated both ways. Lance Mason recommends the “You’re too old for me” line to use on younger women, while your line forcing a younger woman to qualify herself as mature enough to be with you would work as well. I don’t know which approach is more effective. Maybe the commenters can offer their experiences with handling the age shit test from younger women.]


      • on June 29, 2011 at 5:28 pm Good Luck Chuck

        I can’t comment on a younger guy dealing with older women. I was responding to the question about older men dealing with younger women.

        The first time I used that line it was by an accident when I was 31. It landed me a 21 yr old. When I broke up with that one I decided to try it again. I used that exact line on a 20 year old who ended up in love with me. Her response: “I’m not a baby, I’m a grown ass WOMAN!”.

        The last time I used it was last year. I was 39, she was 22. That time was interesting because she asked me later in the night why I had made that comment. She was worried that I thought she looked old.

        The only time it didn’t end up getting me a lay was when I used it on a sorority girl that came out one night with another chick I know. Might have gotten it if I pushed harder cause if I remember correctly I was making out with her and rubbing her pussy in my kitchen at one point.

        Chicks….all you have to do is open up a tiny crack and that will allow you to wiggle your way in.


      • on June 29, 2011 at 5:48 pm Good Luck Chuck

        And this technique could be used with ANY woman. All you have to do is find SOMETHING to zero in on that supposedly turns you off about her. Make a big scene of it but keep a semi-smile on your face so she can’t tell whether or not you are joking. If she has any interest in you whatsoever this should amp it 10x in a matter of seconds.


  3. Solo game is all about first impressions. Your dress, the way you carry yourself and what comes out of your mouth in the first 5-10 seconds of conversation will determine if you get laid. Dress like you own whereever you’re operating, walk in and talk to the bartenders like you’ve been there a thousand times before (even if you haven’t), and give only the briefest attention to the woman (or women) you desire.

    First and foremost – be comfortable in your own skin and being by yourself. You’re not a woman who desperately needs a support network for validation. You’re a man who NEEDS nothing, but WANTS everything.


  4. @ incubus – don’t be an @sshole. Cocky is fine; insulting is not. Your line is insulting.


  5. 1. Solo is great. Guy friends that aren’t highly skilled inadverdently cockblock you about as much as any fatty chick.

    2. They’re losing interest not because of your age, but because you fell into their shit-testing trap.


    • YES. Don’t let her control the frame; don’t try to please her or get her approval.

      She should want to please you; if she has a problem with that (feminist programming) she disqualifies herself. The best thing that could happen to her is to earn YOUR approval.


  6. If you don’t want to lie about your age than just avoid giving a direct answer. This should be a normal part of your everyday game to begin with. If she is asking your age, than she is at least a little bit interested in you, so use that as an opportunity to amp up the attraction. You can do this in any number of ways as shown in the post. If you do your job correctly she will feel a level of attraction for you and will forget that you never answered her or she won’t care. The opposite goes for me, I am 30 but often game girls in their early 20’s so the age thing comes up a lot. I make them guess and then tell them they have poor guessing skills and that I am 47 years old(obviously not true) and then flirty banter ensues and by then the age conversation has been successfully deflected. Most of the time they don’t really care how old you are but rather want to see how you handle the issue.

    @Incubus, Make them guess and when they do, say that you are 18 or something obviously false and that you are drinking on a fake id. This will set a much better vibe than something combative like “I thought we were both grownups”. Not surprising that they hit the road after hearing that.


  7. Bring back the original Heartiste! He never does great game posts like this!


  8. “just enter a frame of mind that you are the mysterious, dark stranger with a wealth of worldly experiences to share with someone worthy of your company”

    _ just a question – what happens when, as the female, at least 9 out of 10 times you are the mysterious one with the “wealth of worldly experiences to share”, compared to men who are usually unintelligent, uneducated, and inexperienced in the ways of the world?

    Apparently, based on the reactions of those here when I’ve tried to magnanimously share my numerous experiences on relevant matters, mens’ response is scorn, baseless assumptions, and an utter refusal to actually consider the substance of my point, perhaps out of fear it might challenge their shared ideology.

    Well, none of you can see me, and going off of the principle oft-stated herein that the only thing that matters about a girl is her looks, based on my appearance I can guarantee you would all be interested in talking to me. (On the embarrassingly idiotic “hotornot”, which I use merely as an occasional point of ego-boosting, but which is identified as objectively rating appearance – my pics got rated 9.5, and thats the reaction I’ve gotten from men my whole life).

    Largely based on this, as well as my extreme intelligence and adventurous personality, I’ve had a lot of experiences relevant to topics covered, and have come to some rationally-based and yet very different conclusions.

    The ideology of “alpha game” or whatever other little special codewords you want to use to self-identify, seems just as rigid, emotionally-based, narrow-minded, self-serving, and mentally twisted due to a perceived sense of victimization mixed with righteous anger and hatred as any other ideology you all hate – like that particular type of shrill fasco-Feminism you oppose ??? Two sides of the same coin.

    As is obvious to anyone with the ability to see clearly, not all women live life in need of constant validation from their friends, and certainly not from random men. I have no “hamster” in my head constantly engaged in Sisyphean running to decipher the meaning of a man’s every word. I could care less – men are unbelievably easy to understand – we do Not have these kinds of discussions about all the Routines needed to ensnare you.

    And not all women who have views different from your own are therefore old, ugly, and undesirable. I know my “SMV”, and trust me, no matter how you may try to “reframe”, you guys are still the ones chasing girls like me.


    • But are your feet big enough for all of us to kiss them simultaneously?


    • on June 29, 2011 at 2:27 pm not joe rogan

      It doesnt matterif 9 out of 10 times youre the most interesting one, the aim of the readers of this blog is to be that 1 out of 10.

      Everyone on hotornot gets a 9 or higher, it means nothing.

      You’e confusing game with mens rights, which is makes sense seeing as a lot of their fan base overlap.

      “not all” isnt the same as “most.”

      And your’e right, men are easy to understand, if youre hot we want to fuck you, hell, as long as youre not fat most men will still want to fuck you (even if youre obes, if sure you can find some black guy willing to take you for a ride).


      • The general rule of hotornot is to take the decimal point and multiply it by 10 to get the true rating, and according to this miss J.S. Mills here is a 5.


    • Right, 9 out of 10 times bar hoes have shareda wealth of worldly cocksa. Men may be easy to understand, but you sound just like the lawyercunt I married. You may be hot, may “understand” men, but you will always be relegated to the world of responsible-mate. I may be married to my wife but she only gets the worst of me because of her attitude, the same one you are exhibiting. The girls that don’t have to act like they are unequally wise, or have a huge cock they have to flash will always be the bitches that get the best of me.


    • you talk a lot but say very little.

      a hotornot rating of 9.5 means that in reality you’re at best a 7.

      gender genie says you’re male.

      it will be your honor and pleasure to detoxx my buttoxx.


      • Oh, so you’re the idiot that keeps running the gasbuttox bullshit. Now I know to ignore your other comments too.


    • The great Arthur schopenhaur concluded that the only use for an intelligent woman was to breed with an intelligent, honorable man and produce talented sons to benefit the nations economic and military strength.

      It’s not that we men scorn your intellect we just wish you would do the appropriate thing with it. Otherwise, yes it is MEANINGLESS.

      Men are more productive per Year of life, per IQ point, Yes even per pound of bodyweight!!

      Not very intelligent that you are wasting precious resources, space and air fuelling your own selfish agendas when your potential actually lies in your sons!!


      • on June 29, 2011 at 4:05 pm DiamondEyes

        That’s the problem with so called intelligent women. They only use their booksmarts (and that’s usually all it is) to show off around people and boost their egos. Sometimes they will use it to make money for themselves. But never will you see a high IQ woman actually use her brain to create new value for society.

        See, listening to a self-identified high-IQ woman is about as stimulating and useful to a man as it would be for you to sit there listening to him talk about how awesome his career and BMW are. It’s boring. What matters is how cool you are, how feminine you are, how affectionate you are, and most importantly, how vulnerable you are. If you’re smart on top of all that, you’re a winner. Bitches like you have ugly baggage and emotional shields due to your lifelong narcissism, and it makes you very unattractive.

        Using hotornot to gauge your looks is like using one of those 10-minute online IQ tests to gauge your intelligence. It seems that most women there get rated about 3 or 4 points above accurate, because the ratings are mostly done by hyper-horny 14-year-old boys.


    • on June 29, 2011 at 5:20 pm Space Cowboy

      Everyone above me has either A.) Coolly deflected the original post by not actually addressing it or B.) Fallen right into her incredibly well worded shit test trap.

      In the end I take a very spiritual approach to what you have to offer. As far as the differences in approach to how we “snare” potential mates, I’d hope someone as smart as you’re pretending to be would notice the irony in your comment.

      A man regardless of his appearance or value is ALWAYS going to have to work/”game” his way into the heart and pants of a woman that he finds acceptable.

      All a woman has to do is say”yes” or “no”. For men it’s a numbers game, for a woman it’s a matter of choice. All game is designed to do is shift the odds of you saying “yes” more favorably in a man’s direction.

      I myself do not use words like “alpha” or “beta”, and even though my life is one giant attempt at failure at the quest, I try not to use labels altogether. Trying to fit into a label is like auditioning for a role. Even if you meet all the requirements and standards necessary to earn that label/role, you are still pretending to be something that you truly aren’t. As Roissy himself will even admit, both ‘betas’ and ‘alphas’ have varying degrees of value that attract potential mates.

      You also mention validation of opinions. For a typical woman acceptance and respect is the ends. If this universal truth doesn’t apply to you then congratulations, you have removed the single greatest flaw from the female biological equation from your own existence. Women need support. They need devotion. They need attention. To argue against this talking point would automatically make you near sighted and delusional. For a man those things are the means to an end. A man, a real man, truly doesn’t care what you say or think because he is going to be able to support himself emotionally without your contributions. He just wants to fuck you, and in-order to do that, he needs you to like and respect him.

      When I look at a woman the first thing that pops into my head is “What would MY children look like if she birthed them?” Not because I want more children, but in my mind it makes it easiest FOR ME to squash any of my own thoughts of equality between myself and a potential lover. If I don’t want a woman to bare my children, in my mind, I am her superior, and she is my subject. I obviously don’t communicate this to her as it would be insulting and counterproductive. But thinking it allows for more natural, confident conversation, which I think we can all agree exerts a higher level of attractiveness.

      Your post is well written, but it’s pretty obvious there is a certain degree of bitterness regarding your talking points. Don’t be offended by unsolicited advice, but it would behoove you to be more lenient in your opinion of the male species, especially if you ever plan on marrying a man and having children. No man is going to want to live with you forever if you act the way that you do, regardless of whether or not a great looking wife and an awesome conversation is guaranteed. I certainly wouldn’t want to sire a son by a woman that thinks so lowly of the male species.


    • I guarantee there are more than a handful here who would definitely not chase you, regardless of you SMV. In every town in the US, there are 25 of you to every 1 of me. If a gal isn’t interested in me, I walk, no harm.

      I know plenty of hot women who expect the men to chase. I’ve known some for 2 decades. The simple facts are:

      1. A high price gal will typically lose the chaser once he realizes the high cost of closing and re-closing. She will have to start all over again and again.
      2. A high price gal at 20 will be cheaper by 22 and even more so every 2 years after.
      3. A high price gal typically receives all her investment back after a certain age, when no man she wants will want her.

      Good luck with that. I’m fine with the beauties who love me and take care of me now. I can’t even make a fantasy in my head of who i’d want to chase enough to give up the comforts I get by not chasing.


    • J.S. Mills, are you a lawyer chick or sumthin’?

      Your sentence structure is quite unappetitlich, contrived in clausal cross-wirings and pseudo-intellectualized. It does smell a bit like lawyerese..

      And yes, your hamster is oiled well: “It’s all about MEEEEEEEEE” and your need to validate yourself is contradicting to your statement about the opposite.

      No matter how purdy you may be, once you open your mouth, you lose in an instant at least 4 points. For your own sake, keep it zipped or you are on a sure trajectory to cat-ladyhood.


    • Fascinating case study, 9.5. A woman interpreting men interpreting game. Thanks for inside scoop.

      1) What compelled you to share?
      2) What in goddess’ name are you doing here in the first place?

      I’m so relieved that you showed up, I can’t even tell you. All these dorks with their secret codewords pretending they’re players! Only a woman’s harsh judgment will set them straight.

      Hit me on my cell, I so want to talk to you about it. You like Thai food, right?


      • This bitch already doesn’t deserve all the attention she’s getting, negative or not. Even though you mean it ironically, and even though she’s “smart” enough to see through that, it’s still too much. You guys are always quick to jump on any dumbass chick that shows up here and give her the attention she so desperately craves.


      • I am right with you, brother, trust me. But you are missing the forest for the trees. These are the perils of dogmatic game: if you don’t have the basics mastered, you fear all deviation, reject all improvisation, and miss the opportunities in front of your face.

        Here we have something relatively rare: a self-proclaimed “beautiful” and “intelligent” woman slumming the manosphere precincts and challenging the precepts of game head on. While she would have us chase her beauty-and-smarts bait, the truly unique factor is the “self proclamation.”

        The commenters pounce, like grunts do, with a frontal attack. But if you want to squeeze something useful out of a mark like this, you need misdirection. Anyone who went to a half-decent college knows women like this — convinced of their intellectual superiority, thinking they can step into a man’s world and compete like men. Anyone who has a basic familiarity with applied feminist mythology knows how to deal with women like this — call them out. But you don’t call out a woman’s passive nature with direct challenges. She will not be the last deeply disordered shrike you encounter who needs to be dispatched with higher-order analysis and skill. Our universities are cranking them out by the legions.


      • J.S. Mills will not permit an assessment of her first claim, her beauty. “Well, none of you can see me… but you would all be interested in talking to me” and “you guys are still the ones who are chasing me.” Fine.

        But the second claim, her intelligence? “What happens when, as the female [is] the mysterious one … compared to men who are usually unintelligent, uneducated, and inexperienced in the ways of the world?” That can be proved or disproved right here. You call her a “dumbass chick” who “desperately craves” attention, and you are almost definitely correct. But let’s have her demonstrate her famous aptitudes. Put up or shut up.

        Because the real “irony” here is in her. She is convinced by our bar-scene aloofness that she is more interesting and mysterious than 9 out of 10 men. But proclaiming one’s own mysteriousness is just about the least mysterious thing a person can do. We have her sized up to a T. Instead of trying to tell her that, show her.

        Why do I care? Why should you care? Because for once we can put theory to practice, right here in the comboxes. Here comes a self-proclaimed, living, breathing contradiction — a 9.5 female in the 90th percentile of male intelligence, as yet found nowhere in nature — who can single-handedly falsify game theory in one or two responses. Let’s watch that 90th percentile slip down to the mid 50s before our eyes, and learn something from her reaction.

        That is, if she hadn’t already flitted off somewhere as the distaff are wont to do. My guess is her attention-whoring faculties were captured by a sale at Pottery Barn or somesuch.


      • on July 1, 2011 at 9:47 am Malcolm Tucker

        You got it in one.

        Women want attention. Women who post on blogs like this crave attention. Women who write posts like this on a blog like this need attention like a junkie needs a fix.

        So ignore her.

        I don’t know about anyone else, but my attention has value. I’ll destroy anything with value rather than give it away for free, particularly when it comes to pussy. This is business.

        It’s sad to see so many lengthy posts responding to her. Snap out of it!


      • Methinks the gentlemen doth protest too much.
        If I was desperate for male attention, I’d go hang out at bars and nightclubs, not respond anonymously on some blog. What exactly do I get out of that ?

        Why am I here? Well, why are you? You may want to learn how to better fuck chicks, and I am learning the immediately observable behaviors and attitudes of guys that I want to avoid fucking. So we both benefit. And if by having an opinion that I share automatically drops me however many points on your scale, so you wouldn’t want anything to do with me – well, I’m glad we agree on something. Because no matter how good your game, I can guarantee that I wouldn’t want anything to do with some of you, either.

        I have legitimate responses to many of the conclusions you guys have reached, and I can logically defend my own conclusions – do you fear having your opinions scrutinized or challenged, especially by someone who you can’t dismiss as bitter, unwanted, and unattractive?

        And yeah, I’ll ‘go into battle’ with anyone who wants to test out their theories – if what I’m saying is stupid and irrational, fine, ignore it or disagree, but dismissing it out of hand is just inadvertently admitting that your own ideas or theories are too inadequate to confront mine directly.

        To just posit that I’m a stupid attention whore with no validity to anything I say is a cop-out.


    • Extremely good looking … Not “handsome”, I hope?

      Take the above personal ad as a case study. I’d say you might have a problem, at least if you’re still single and don’t love cats or in vitro fertilization and lone, selfless dedication to a child.

      Here’s a riddle: if men are “unbelievably easy to understand”, why are you meeting only the “unintelligent, uneducated, inexperienced” ones? Where is the cream of the crop you so clearly deserve? Time to use that “extreme intelligence”.


      • Actually, even on the face of it, that isn’t a riddle at all. You must have done very poorly in logical analysis in school.

        Why would you assume that I think I deserve the ‘cream of the crop’? Sounds like someone’s projecting to me…

        And, actually, I also never said I was trying to look for or meet men at all. Far from it…

        Right now, I actually feel the same way about American men as many of you feel about American women – I give up on them.

        Too many american men ARE ‘unintelligent, uneducated, and inexperienced’. They’re self-centered, whiny, dolts, with a ridiculous sense of victimization.

        My god, look at everyone here whining – you poor, poor, oppressed middle class white men. Those awful feminazis have taken over the country and clearly you are now all the enslaved. Fucking tune into reality, guys….sure, you have some legitimate complaints about some fucked up laws, attitudes, etc. – SO DOES EVERYONE!

        And american men are so often fat and unattractive, sloppy and poorly dressed. They have absolutely no sense of adventure or interest in the world. When literally the ONLY thing you do is go to work, come home, start drinking beer, playing Halo, and yelling at sports on t.v. – and on your days off, all you do is then drink and watch tv ALL DAY – never so much as seeing the sun, going anywhere, doing anything…..
        well, what’s the point? thats not living….sure its ok to chill occasionally, but that is just a pathetic way to live full-time

        So yea, I’m far from looking for some american dude right now – thanks, I’ll take mine European- so much better looking, better informed, more adventurous and fun to be around, they seem to have largely figured out how to get along with women as human beings who are different from themselves, but not inferior and deserving of scorn….

        mmm, and their accents…yummy.

        no need to worry about me becoming a cat lady- and I’m strongly a dog person anyways


  9. For this solo reader of age 21- You could also go to the local college hangouts and game the 18-21 year old crowd.


  10. on June 29, 2011 at 2:39 pm Hippopotimus

    Every single girl that I have landed with a cold approach has been while I was solo in a bar or somewhere. I am almost never successful when I’m with someone. Even if I am at a bar with 1 other bud, we always split and approcah alone. Rarely are we together, unless we’re there just to chill an catch up.

    The first ime I went solo dolo, I nearly threw up and left after 10 min. I went back the next week and tried again. That time I was there 2 hrs just watching everyone else. The week after that I started approaching. no one had any idea or cared I was alone. I wasn’t even asked. It’s all in your head.


    • on June 29, 2011 at 5:24 pm Space Cowboy

      I think it’s impressive that you admit to your own inadequacies. Character is vital to success, and nothing builds character like failure.


    • I’m starting doing approaches solo and this is exactly how I feel.


  11. Hey Mills, we dont really care if you can use big words and carry on with some sort of psuedo intelligence. If you are indeed hot we just want to fuck and prefer if you talk less. We simply arent attracted to the intelligence of women.


  12. on June 29, 2011 at 2:56 pm greatbooksformen GBFM

    wake me up, before you go-go,
    because i’m not planning on going with Hans Solo!


  13. yes, but the rub is for the solo flyer is what to do if you’re actually out there. What to do, sip your beer, watch the tv on the wall, watch people dance, play with your iphone? I guess it depends on location but I assume most solo pickups are in bars or clubs, right? So is it cool to just stand there until you make an approach or always be approaching, as a key to solo dolo?
    As for being an older guy with world experience, I would think that there comes a time (and lord knows, I am probably wrong) but a guy who is fun without Jersey Shore fist pumping, whoo whoo, let’s chug some jager, loud ass idiocy already seems worldly.
    IIRC, roosh also addressed solo game.

    [Editor: Good questions. Ideally you want to know the staff, so you can chat up the bartenders or owner and look socially plugged in. Plus, a woman who sees you talking to the bartender can overhear your convo and use it as an excuse to talk to you.
    If you don’t know the staff, you can go at an earlier time and order a meal, so you have something to do with your hands. Or bring a laptop and do “work”. I’ve brought books to bars and found that they served as excellent conversation openers from girls who were curious what I was reading, particularly if the book had a racy cover that I liberally flashed around.
    You can watch people for a short while, but if you’re just going to stand there all night twiddling your thumbs you will lose social value by the minute. Going solo means approaching girls earlier in the evening rather than later.]


    • Approaching girls later in the evening usually means you’re facing more male competition for their attention. Get in early and establish rapport so that when the competition shows up, you’re already there. What time you arrive depends on the place, but even if you’re waiting for girls to arrive, you can always chat up the bartender(s) and take care of them early so they are social proof later.


    • Editor here is spot on. QFT.

      2 of the little pretties I’m seeing now were both gals who opened me, intruding on conversations I was having with a bartender or bar manager. To be honest, I was so engrossed in conversation that I didn’t even see them sidle me at all.

      If you can’t close on a gal who vomits third party interest at your conversations, go back and re-read this entire blog. It’s a slam dunk.

      I do way better with the 6pm after-work crowd than the 1am totally-drunk crowd. I do tend to prefer gals who have to get up early in the morning, though.


  14. on June 29, 2011 at 3:50 pm Good Luck Chuck

    When you fly solo it relieves the pressure of knowing that your friends might watch you get shot down and it forces you to be social. I have more fun when I go out with other people but I meet more women when I am out by myself.


  15. Going solo is beneficial from my findings. I’ve ran nto various friends at the bars I go to and going amongst the circle of friends it gives a good perception of being extremely social. Plus, you control who you talk to and for how long, always being in control of your situation.

    I did this exact thing two nights ago when a girl stood me up. Two girls tried setting me up with their friends, which was creepy and made me leave that bar, but then I went to another sat at the bar and not 20 minutes later 3 women sat down next to me. The closest to me started talking to me because I looked like one of her former managers. We BS for 5 minutes before exchanging names. Her name was Hannah, same as one of my exes, and I tell her it was nice talking to her, but due to her having the same name as my ex, and looking a lot like another, that she too was likely pretentious and self indulgent like them. It worked enough for 20 more minutes of conversation and a number close.

    I overheard the conversation of the other 2 friends and the one that looked like Emma Stone, but brunette, was talking about her trip to Ireland. I interjected, stating that I was Irish. She took this as me meaning that I was born in Ireland and asked me where I was from. I told her Dublin, and that my parents moved to the States when I was 2. So what used to be ‘ma’ and ‘da’ are now mom and pop. 45 minutes later we were walking back to my place for the bedroom olympics.


  16. I’m new to this blog and I really like it … but, guys, don’t you ever feel guilty by tricking ANY girl into having sex with you with this “game” or whatever?

    [Editor: Do you feel guilty wearing makeup?]

    You know, girls fall in love with a guy they have sex with! It’s so sad that you later broke her heart when you leave her :S

    [Game is just a tool. Like any tool, it can be used for good, or dastardly, purposes.]

    I’m a girl and I have to admit that I’m attracted to alpha guys immediately, but I would never have sex with them … Only if I would get the feeling of safety/genuine interest, which all can be faked … But then I would be emotionally totally broken if I found out that someone used me just for his pleasure!

    [Receiving pleasure from a partner is not “using” the person if that person wants to be there. Do you not get physical pleasure from sex?]

    How can you do that? I could never do that to a girl … It’s so mean!

    [The gender genie has voted this comment… 100% girlie girl!]


    • on June 29, 2011 at 4:32 pm My Name Is Jim

      I have fully as much sympathy for them as girls ever had for me back when I was a beta orbiter type.


    • Damn, girl, it’s not a trick. It’s seduction and flirting.
      Plunging my memories, it seems that clubs (and not tiny ones like Blue Gin) can give a solo guy more room to bounce around, not be seen twiddling thumbs. I have ordered dinner at a bar with a dancefloor late on a weekend night, and it was as the Rois said, it led to convos with bartender and to people around me, allowing me comfort to work the rest of room once done.


    • Maya,

      When you think back to moments where you’ve noticed and admired alpha guys (even if you were too intimidated to flirt with them), what was it about them that set them apart in your mind from the normal, average guys at that particular place? Is it something you discern just from looks, height and body language?


      • No, it wasn’t looks, it was self-confidence.


      • What kinds of things demonstrate that self-confidence to you?


      • self-confidence = alpha. It’s written on this blog.

        Good luck!


      • Sidewinder,

        maybe something more about what demonstrates self-confidence to me, if you find it helpful … I find it very attractive when men speak their mind, when they are not afraid of what other people might think of them, when they do what they want – even if it might be strange. And it’s good when you are sociable in general – that you go to girls, talk to them and also touch them if you like – it’s very powerful – it think it was written something about that in one of the posts on this blog. But you can only do that when you feel confident enough or the effect can be just the opposite – we detect insecurity very well. I don’t know what are tools that make a person more confident … I’m thinking about that myself as I have the same problem. Maybe it helps if you do sports a lot – it helps me at least a little. I’ve read somewhere that testosterone improves the feeling of self-esteem, but it’s too dangerous to take this in pills. I don’t know. If you have any ideas, tell me. (I think it’s useful in life in general, I’m aware that guys are not attracted to girls who are too aggressive – but I have the opposite problem – being not aggressive enough).


      • Good observations re demonstrations of confidence. As a gal, I don’t think you want to increase the appearance of self-confidence per se. I think you want to give off a receptive vibe. Inherent in that receptiveness is that you feel comfortable about yourself.

        If I were on the prowl, things I would be looking for in deciding whether to approach a girl: smiling, friendly, with a little bit of self-consciousness… If there isn’t that 3rd element, then it can be a little intimidating, but I can recall one girl who was absolutely beautiful (9 or higher) that was so genuinely friendly that I WANTED to approach her.


      • I would also say that you don’t want to be aggressive. I think you should aggressively seek out ways to make yourself appear approachable (smiling, friendly, a little bashful), but i’m immediately turned off by women that approach me cold. I don’t know why. The one exception is when its a particular girl that I’ve already talked with and I’m interested in. When she approaches for a subsequent convo, that is great.

        The self-conscious/bashful element of receptiveness is a big one that I look for. When i see the girl put her hand in her hair, look away, shift her weight from foot to foot, ALL WITHIN PLAIN SIGHT OF ME (important), it reveals a vulnerability that tells me she sees higher value in me. Sometimes the absence of smiling and friendliness can make a girl appear more vulnerable and approachable when 1) its obvious that she was looking at me, and 2) she maintains proximity and shows signs of self-consciousness.


    • on June 29, 2011 at 4:47 pm DiamondEyes

      You’re in the wrong place for sympathy Maya. Girls commit most of the evil in the mating game. You are probably overlooking all of the shit you have unloaded on beta males, because, being female, you lack self-awareness.

      Keep reading these blogs and you will discover that nearly every PUA or Gamer used to be the stereotypical nice guy who tried to be decent to women and got shit all over for it.


    • Yes, I would feel guilty wearing make-up. I want to present my genes the way they are 😉

      [Editor: Maya, are you trolling the studio audience? I doubt very much you feel guilty applying your eyeliner every morning.]

      This about sex I don’t know, because I don’t have sex. But if imagine myself having sex I’d surely fall in love with a guy even more than before sex and then I would want to stay with him forever and raise babies with him.

      [Women do become emotionally attached to a man once they’ve had sex with him. This is a peculiarity of the female sex that men don’t share; namely, men are better able to sever sex from emotional bonding. If you want to make a guy wait until marriage for sex, just remember that you will be filtering out those alpha males who have sexual options with other women willing to put out faster than you. Instead, you will be selecting for patient, faithful beta males who likely aren’t too exciting to you, particularly during the ovulatory stage of your monthly cycle.
      In the final analysis, that may be a good thing for you.]


      • Yeah, I know … You’re right. I’m not waiting till marriage, actually. But I think it’s still risky to put out too fast, especially with an alpha, because he’s even more inclined to walk away. I only want to put out when I feel really safe … and with an alpha.
        I haven’t made the final decision about my reproduction yet, but why do you think a patient, faithful beta might be a good thing for me? I want an alpha to be faithful and patient just for me 😉 Yeah, I really need to be really high worth. I’ll fake it with an eyeliner.

        [Editor: If you are young, exceptionally beautiful and sweetly feminine, you may be able to convince an alpha male to hold out for sex and to marry you with family in mind. So you have to ask yourself honestly, do you have what it takes?]


      • I want an alpha to be faithful and patient just for me



      • An alpha doesn’t want to fall in love and be faithful for one (or a few) girls? Only when he gets old, maybe? Or does he want to die alone?

        [Editor: We all die alone. Even those with kids and grandkids.]


      • Not most, no. You may be lucky enough to find one, though. There are some out there, like you, waiting. You might find more of what you are looking for here in w website here:

        This site is more geared toward women.

        Be patient, and be careful. From your posts I am guessing you are pretty young. If you are truly looking for a husband, you are going to have to respect yourself and not do the hookup scene (And learn how to cook!). If you do, and you decide to sleep around, your value in a man’s eye’s will take a nose dive and then none of them will be interested in the long term but they certainly will not be afraid to have a one-night-stand. Good luck to you.


      • I think it makes a difference dying with your family around you or actually dying alone in some nursing home.

        [Editor: Most decrepit old people dying alone in nursing homes have family.]


      • My grandfather had family visiting 7 days a week his last couple weeks. Three of his four sons and one of his grandchildren (me) were present when he died.


      • that ‘dying alone’ fear isn’t something men usually think or care about. it is, however, something that women fear very much, and project in the form of a threat. this is why you’ll never hear a man tell a woman in an argument that she’ll die alone, but women say this all the time to men when they’re upset.

        as for alphas not waiting for just you….why would they? alphas by definition have women that want to be with him. the alpha gets to choose who becomes his long term companion and mother to his children.

        so the question you need to ask yourself is, how do i compare to the other women in his life? will i be the best mother, the best wife? do i have good genes to pass along to our offspring? will i cooperate with him or compete with him?


      • I’m over the hill (26), sweetly feminine, and about beauty I don’t know (I think every woman believes – or at least wants to believe – she’s cute and sexy when she sees herself in the mirror, so I’m no exception), so what are my chances? I should probably have sold myself a few years ago. Or it doesn’t matter so much? But I think it does. In Japan, I’ve heard, a woman over 25 was once (not so long ago) called ‘kurisumasu keki’ (like ‘christmas cake’ after 25th of December, nobody wanting to buy it). Unfortunately, we’re not young forever. But I think other single girls don’t know about it as well. They think I’m psychotic when panicking about ‘biological clock’ at 26. But It’s sad that nobody told me I’m going to loose my babyface (and baby fat) soon and that it means loosing my sexual power as well. It’s kinda ridiculous that even women at 35 still think they’re super sexy. And that they can have babies in the next 10 years or so. It’s sad we’re so deluded, because ovaries are ageing, too. Women seem to care about that, at least not enough. And than we have so many more high-risk pregnancies. Okay, off topic. 26 is not menopause yet, but I still don’t know what can I expect and the other problem is that I have to hurry up and find someone quickly. It’s stressful.


      • I think you are ahead of the game in being a bit worried about this stuff. Most women don’t until it’s too late. You still have time. I didn’t have babies until 28 and it was fine. As far as your chances go? I can’t comment on that. I really haven’t a clue on what the dating scene and the men are like in Japan. Here you would have a good chance of finding a good husband, though the chances of finding one who is alpha are becoming dismally slim. They don’t wish to marry any more because it so often ends terribly for them. I wish I could tell you more of what to expect but it’s hard not knowing anything about your country. Stay feminine, slim, caring and learn how to take care of a man (also, as said before, keep the number of men you sleep with low). These things seem standard regardless of where one is from.


      • I’m not from Japan, I just mentioned what mentality they have there and I mentioned it because they seem to value marriage highly and therefore they seem to expect a lot from each other. Girls are beautiful there.

        (I’m from a typical feminist and post-socialist country where we just complain why should we care for our looks so much when men don’t care so much about theirs and why the hell should we care about any beauty ideals at all)


      • Maya,

        Sorry. The comment layout gets very confusing here. Stay away from these women who complain about the feminist crap. Do not let them suck you in. Everything they have to say is very tempting, but it does not make it true. Men don’t need to worry about their looks the way women do because it is not just looks that we look for in a man. The alphness is so much more important to us. Most anything they have to tell you will be completely wrong.

        I guess my best advice would be to frequent places that men go to that hold your ideals. I have no idea where that would be for you in your country. In the US I would say stay the heck away from night clubs and busy bars. Go out and do stuff that interests you and look for quality men there.


      • Beautiful girls in Japan? I thought they were all asian.


      • Editor, I don’t know how to reply to this upper comment, so I’ll write here … About most people dying alone in nursing homes while having kids and grandkids somewhere else – sadly you’re right about that. But it wasn’t always like that! Decaying family values, maybe …


      • Feminism: the gift that keeps giving.


      • @Maya

        (I’m from a typical feminist and post-socialist country where we just complain why should we care for our looks so much when men don’t care so much about theirs and why the hell should we care about any beauty ideals at all)

        Post-socialist would probably point to central/eastern Europe, but the “feminist” label is puzzling. Unless I’ve been too long outta there (left 1984) and the infection did spread there too.

        Men don’t have to care about their looks much. In fact, if they do, chances are they may be fags. Looking healthy beats any “looks”.

        Anyway, your man is on the alpha/beta boundary. Enough alpha to be able to lead in relationship, but some beta traits to be able to commit. Age: about 35-ish. Probably went through one divorce, not necessarily with kids. Even there, women wait till their clocks are almost running out, which can be pretty much extrapolated from demographic stats.

        Where to look, that’s the question. If I knew where you live, I may be able to make some recommendations. Also, a bit of your profile would help, interests, hobbies, etc.


      • How tall are you and how much do you weigh? Are your teeth perfect, or crooked/spaced, or average? What do you think is your most attractive feature.

        Given this information, I should be able to rate you.


    • So do you stick to falling in love with guys you’re unattracted to?


    • on June 29, 2011 at 5:34 pm Space Cowboy

      Maya I can almost guarantee that the mate you acquire in life will be a “provider” instead of a “go getter”. The connection you two foster will most likely come from an extended amount of exposure to one another (colleague, classmate, neighbor, etc.)

      As far as guilt, that is a two way question that has already been substantially answered by others.

      1. Women physically enjoy sex, so in sheer terms of quid pro quo, a man really isn’t getting anything out of the deal that a woman isn’t getting. Emotional satisfaction on the other hand is up the individual entirely, it wouldn’t be fair for a man to expect that out of a woman so the likewise is also true.

      2. More woman in this world string men along for emotional support and material favors than men who simply use women for sexual gratification.


    • rumspringa?


      • I checked this word in the dictionary (I’m not from U.S.)

        OMG. NO.


      • on June 29, 2011 at 9:46 pm DiamondEyes

        you sound like a sweet girl, and I thought there was hope for you…when I pegged your age at 19. At 26 you better get busy. 23 is pretty old for an alpha seeking a wife and mother.


      • Miss Maya, i am strong man also not from U.S. who delights to give you babies. My telefon is +011-917-809-1138. We must speak. You like Thai, no? I MEAN THE FOOD HAHA NO I AM NOT THAIWANESE!


      • I’m sorry for my English, it’s far from perfect, I know. But am I that silly? Or what do you mean? Thai or Taiwanese?


  17. Bring a laptop and do “work”.

    I’ve never failed to get some interest of some kind I can capitalize on when “busy”. I prefer cafes over bars most of the time, too – day game is much more rewarding for pickup, generally. There’s less bitchy selectionism and more relaxed curiosity.

    If you’re anxious about going out on your own, for a while avoid the other rutting males and stick to day game. Setting yourself apart from the usual bar/nightclub douchebags is hard when women are largely there to cockblock guys approaching their hot friends and get as much attention as possible – and judge as effectively as possible.

    You want to get women when they’re relaxed and open, not when they have their attention meters and hackles up.

    Day game involves naturally lowered bitch shields.


    • on June 29, 2011 at 4:57 pm My Name Is Jim

      The laptop didn’t really work for me, maybe I just scream unapproachable when using it. The book has been great though, especially anyplace cougars hang out. They love to ask about the book, which of course I brought one on a topic that’s not traditional chick crack but they will easily get sucked into talking about.

      For better or worse I’m the intellectual type, so women who just watch tv are not gonna hold my interest long anyway.


      • What are good books to bring? What sparks conversation?

        [Editor: Any book with a French author’s name. Bonus points if the cover features a close-up of a part of the naked female body.]


      • Am I correct in assuming books with elves and or starships on the cover are not the ones to bring?


  18. I roll solo (I’m 37) to the bars that do business with me. The social proof there is strong and a good foundation. Hell, my favorite bar owners actually handle some introductions, can’t beat that. Solo to new bars isn’t a big problem, but why spend the time building your network and never use it?

    I prefer to roll with a wing, though. The options are better — code words for bouncing, better opening options, and plenty of social options to bounce to a quieter bar with 2 gals for him and I.

    I prefer my wing to be tall, young and good looking, and there isn’t a lack of that in the towns I frequent most often. Gives us a good range of interests, too.


    • I should back this up by showing two anecdotes.

      Last Thursday I met a king alpha – 6’6″, handsome as hell, in shape, deep voice, zero issue opening on groups of women, women with guys, etc. We went out 3 out of 5 nights. I opened more gals in 3 nights than I have in 15 nights previous. His alphaness was that strong. He got maybe 2 numbers (both from gals with their boyfriends hovering), I got ZERO. All the women were 25-30. They were 6-7s.

      Last night I went out solo (he flew back to Florida). I opened 1 4-set, and and 2 2-sets. Number closed on 3 gals (one from each group). All the numbers were from women 20-23, maybe 6.5-8s. One pushed me to pick when i’d see her next. Pushed hard.

      I’d say going out with a wing definitely can add a boost of confidence, but my stats show I do better solo. I’m perplexed as to why that is, but the numbers tell the truth.


  19. on June 29, 2011 at 6:00 pm Space Cowboy

    I’ve gone out solo about five times in my life. The first time was after I had JUST (I mean still living in a hotel after moving out) gotten out of a divorce after returning from Iraq. Now I went out HOPING that I would get laid but I didn’t have a plan of action other than to just sit there and hope everything that needs to happen for me to get fucked would end up happening on its own.

    Back in this time period I had a LOT of beta tendencies (mostly spawned from marrying at a young age, I won’t say how young but if you have any military experience you probably already know the drill). This first night I’m sitting in the hotel bar when a girl in jeans and a shirt with cutoff sleeves comes and sits down next to me with two male accomplices. Despite her questionable appearance I would give her a solid 7, plus more if she actually bothered to prepare herself for meeting new people.

    Just seeing the other two males (neither one of which were physically intimidating) convinced me that I had no chance. After awhile of just sitting there polishing drinks and watching reruns of sportscenter she finally opens on me. We talk and she is definitely rough around the edges but we still have a good conversation. I buy her drinks (her story turns out that she just moved in town for a job managing a stable, she has one set of clothes to wear and almost no money) and the situation improves. Her male accomplices (coworkers) take off and she and I get closer. Not physical yet but the attraction has definitely escalated. After a drifter provokes her with some harsh words about horses I pull her away while the bartender chastises the offender. I don’t know what kicks in but I end up kissing her (she reciprocates) and we go outside into the lobby by the indoor pool area and I pick her up, pin against the wall, and continue kissing. We end up in my hotel room where she swears I’m not getting laid, but after some massaging and teasing I get her panties off.

    Now, I’m still young and this was only the third woman I’ve had an even remotely sexual encounter with so I make some mistakes, and looking back they are so painful that I’m glad I made them simply to serve as reminder of what to not do in this situation. I am going down on her, really enjoying myself and it even gets to the point where I have her straddling my face. Now, where I went wrong is, she told me I wasn’t getting laid earlier so I never pushed to penetrate. If I had actually forced the issue she of course would have reciprocated but in the end all I got out of the deal was some making out and a number.

    I’ve always wondered what I should have done in that situation (and since coming here the answer is obvious). Nothing ended up happening between us and I never saw her again.

    I’m writing this for two reasons 1.) That is by FAR the most successful I have ever been in a bar scene and I did it on my own with almost no effort, so the potential for success is always there 2.) It takes effort to activate that potential. I’ve gone out a couple of other times and tried to pick up girls by not actually trying at all and it usually doesn’t work out. Although going in with a do nothing mindset makes it easy to establish social proof with the bar staff, it got to the point where I didn’t even have to pay cover for events. Looking back this is something I could have taken advantage of as well.

    That’s it, I’m sorry if the read is overly long but I just wanted to contribute. Relationship building comes easy in social circles but I don’t come here for that, I want to know how a man does it when he has nothing else to rely on but his own preparation and ingenuity.

    I hope this helps some other young buck trying to get the notches on his belt like I am and few others here already have.


  20. In my experience it is always easier to meet people when you are solo. That is true in the bar, cafe and travelling. I think that more than the outsiders perception, it is because it changes your own state of mind. It opens you up, as you have no alternative. You can not fall back to talking to your friend.
    I have had marvelous experiences travelling solo, which I am sure would not have happened travelling together with friends/girlfriends.
    I fact, that while travelling with others, has been real fun, it as led to nowhere the number of new contacts than solo.
    I agree with Roissy: Avoid bars. To much focus on sex (which gets women shields up and leads them to qualifing you = you lose). Cafes or much better solo travelling.
    And nothing beats the feeling coming to a new, foreign and unknown city alone – it makes you feel brave, curious and all powerful – a good frame of mind. If you are not scared by the foreign and unknown, you will certainly not be scared to talk to that nice girl over there…..

    @Maya – don’t save sex for later. It’s just so american and utterly boring. And you are wasting good years not enjoying sex. It seems that you don’t know sexual pleasure – don’t you touch yourself? Start with masturbating, and if you find it pleasurable (which I trust you will), advance with some boy you find attractive and nice. Just don’t expect marriage! And use contraception (bring some nice condoms to offer the man – it’s a nice gift in bed – go shopping). That will protect you from disease as well. Any man which is a new relation and don’t wan’t to use condoms should be avoided. Protect yourself. Have fun.


  21. on June 29, 2011 at 6:47 pm Chris from Dublin

    Yes. This follows the principle of self-framing. Twist the situation to follow your agenda.


  22. Ok, I only used the goddamn “hotornot” ranking because our esteemed host himself mentioned that site as usually providing a good consensus rating on female looks. If some of you have different formulas that somehow automatically blindly rate me as 5 or 7, congrats, I don’t care.

    In fact, I mentioned this stat solely for the purpose of, well, Qualifying myself here (I know, how hypocritical of me, I digress) – if all you guys care about is how to bang hot chicks, as a hot chick who has the intelligence and self-awareness to analyze her and her friends’ many experiences, I thought my observations would be valuable to you. I am well aware that, otherwise, none of you are interested in the intelligence of women. I persist regardless, aided by my looks.

    Particularly because not only am I “book-smart”, I certainly know a lot about human behavior in practical applications – and I’m actually trying to “do something useful with my intellect” – as @Davey, @Sidewinder, etc., say _ Provide an intelligent, reasoned, experienced, and open-minded female perspective and counterpoint to many of the views here. And when I have sons – and daughters – I’ll raise them both to be intelligent and honorable – as my father raised me and my brothers- and the most important thing I’ll ever look for in a potential husband is whether he’ll be as wonderful a father as I had.

    @Space Cowboy- thank you for a fair response. You’re completely right – men have to work “game”, women don’t – it’d be stupid and/or ironic to say otherwise. But women know this – that was my point – that no matter how men try to “reframe” the conversation, hot women know that the object of the man’s interest is fucking her.

    And you are completely right that women ultimately value acceptance and respect – But it only matters when its from people that they respect.

    I don’t hate men at all – or I couldn’t stand this blog. Its because I care for men and value them as men that I want to at least voice an opinion that may help keep some of the legitimate concerns MRA have from devolving into an anti-feminism of mutual hatred.


    • on June 29, 2011 at 7:40 pm My Name Is Jim

      OK, I’m bowing to your suerior intellect you can’t see me while I type so you’ll just have to trust me. Now can you please leave


      • JS Mills — no one cares what you **say**. Women say all sorts of things, which they don’t mean. What people care about is what kind of guy you sleep with, how often, that sort of thing.

        Is your boyfriend a bad boy? Does he ride a motorcycle? Does he have tats? Do you share him with other women? Does he get into fights/arrested a lot? Is he a musician, magician, stand-up comedian, preacher, that sort of thing.

        It is what you DO that is of intense interest to most men here. What kind of man do you sleep with, how did he pick you up, how dominant A-hole Alpha is he? By now you should realize, men tune out very rapidly whatever women say. Because they don’t mean it. Men watch with constant vigilance what women DO.


    • Mills said “I don’t hate men at all – or I couldn’t stand this blog. Its because I care for men and value them as men that I want to at least voice an opinion that may help keep some of the legitimate concerns MRA have from devolving into an anti-feminism of mutual hatred.”

      Instead of qualifying yourself to these men who will never see you (lest you post a picture here) instead of getting angry at the men you propose to help, why don’t you just give your advice in a logical manner and see what happens? The more you go on about yourself, the less anyone is going to care.


    • on June 29, 2011 at 8:03 pm My Name Is Jim

      ” But women know this – that was my point – that no matter how men try to “reframe” the conversation, hot women know that the object of the man’s interest is fucking her.”

      With you, yes. That’s about all I would want. Your less good looking, non-genius friend with the better attitude is the one who gets the ring too.


    • wow, attention whore much?


  23. Fair enough. I’m only ‘qualifying’ because when I’ve tried to “give advice in a logical manner” it was immediately discounted on the assumption that I’m old, ugly, man-hating, puritanically neoFeminist, etc.

    I’m not angry, just occasionally disappointed in some of the narrow-minded and self-rationalizing views, and for my criticism to be listened to at all I had to identify myself as part of your target – hot girl to be potentially fucked.


    • Not my target, I’m a women. I have no idea what your views are so cannot comment on them. However, you are one women coming here with, what sounds like, only your experiences and a few of those who are your friends. If your views are contrary to the commonly held views here, your single experiences are going against the experiences of hundreds of men (and at least a few women) at this site. They are going to go with the statistical significant population, regardless of your looks.

      Leaving math aside, they are most definitely going to go with what has gotten them laid the most and the best, and that, so far, has been all Game.


      • on June 29, 2011 at 9:58 pm DiamondEyes

        This. And the fact that women are amazingly bad at issuing any advice on what women respond to. Most men here know that to listen to a woman explain attraction is worse than useless, it will actually cripple your game.


      • It gets worse. Men had to explain the mechanics of pregnancy TO women.

        Women can barely comprehend their own bodies much less understand their own female minds. Females are propaganda sponges though. Suck up everything they hear provided it comes from an authority. Much to the delight of salesmen and social engineers everywhere!


    • where did you try to give advice in a logical manner? i’m not seeing it here at all.

      in your misguided attempted to get us to listen to your criticism (‘listen to me! listen to meeeeee!’) by identifying yourself as a ‘hot girl’, you’ve destroyed any credibility you may have had. do you not see this?

      if you really want to be taken seriously (and this goes for men as well, not just women):

      – stop qualifying yourself, if you claim to be a hot slut who wants to be fucked, then you will be treated like one
      – quit sounding defensive and bitter
      – address the point(s) to be debated
      – support your argument with evidence
      – keep your tone neutral rather than confrontational

      since this is a pua board with mostly male commenters, you’re fighting an uphill battle. you should expect some opposition, but you knew that already, being a rational and intelligent woman.

      of course there will always be commenters who will not take you seriously no matter what you say or how you say it. welcome to the internet.

      but i think you’ll find a good number of guys here will take you seriously if you present yourself seriously.


      • Thanks. I know, it is stupid to try to get anyone to listen to me by qualifying myself in that way – its just when I posted here before, everyone on the comment board immediately jumped on me as being old, ugly, militantly neoFeminists, etc. – and thats just not true, so I couldn’t even try to make a point without everyone’s incorrect assumptions getting in my way


  24. Btw – I’ve always used that same little trick whenever a guy asked my age – always just say “how old do you think I am?”

    -The answer’s usually “Over 18, I hope!”. Ha!!!!!

    Especially in my mid-20’s now, I really appreciate looking very young ; )
    Cue all the bs about women aging, blah, blah, blah.
    Don’t even want to bother responding to all that, for another day.

    I’ve never asked a guy his age, though – like many, I don’t need such juvenile shit tests to determine a man’s worth – regardless of what he answers,what kind of girl would really care how old he is anyways beyond what she can tell from looking at him?


  25. -Stingray – sorry, didn’t realize you were also female.
    I’m not trying to go against whatever Game has helped guys get laid – I’m not opposed to them getting laid, or scheming to do so based on statistical information – I’m all for helping guys get laid and making them happy people in general.

    Its not the Game I dislike – its the incorrect conclusions that many are drawing from it, based on partial and biased information.

    For example, according to the views of many commenters, I should be practically incapable of even carrying on this conversation because as a female I lack a rational mind and am totally subservient to the rodent god of irrational impulses in my inferior female skull – until finally I am tamed by a man-god whom I will happily obey through eternity.

    To disagree with this extreme and baseless conclusive ideology is not to disagree with any Game that helps some guy get laid.


    • I normally just say “It’s complicated” if asked my age. It’s amazing how well that works, even when it makes no sense. There’s no real purpose to telling someone your age. Numbers are boring.

      Anyway, to JS Mills.

      You’ve been defending yourself in a girly and emotional manner throughout these comments.

      “For example, according to the views of many commenters,”

      Oh no, the world is attacking me!

      “I should be practically incapable of even carrying on this conversation ”

      That’s not been the general argument of men here. The general argument has been that due to your (huge) narcissism all you’re capable of doing is defending yourself with emotional hindbrain bursts as opposed to actually saying something meaningful and useful. You’re shown some more redeeming and valuable posts later on, but your first few posts are clearly very emotional.

      “That’s the problem with so called intelligent women. They only use their booksmarts (and that’s usually all it is) to show off around people and boost their egos. Sometimes they will use it to make money for themselves. But never will you see a high IQ woman actually use her brain to create new value for society. ”

      By talking about your personal experiences as a woman, as you have been doing more now, you can show that your opinion is worth listening to. You could have done that in the first post. Explain why that 1 out of 10 guys is worth listening to and why the other 9 are not rather than comparing alpha theory to feminism.

      “because as a female I lack a rational mind and am totally subservient to the rodent god of irrational impulses”

      Re-read your first post here. It’s really, really irrational.

      “On the embarrassingly idiotic “hotornot”, which I use merely as an occasional point of ego-boosting”

      Oh, I’m far too posh to use it, but it boosts my ego.

      “in my inferior female skull – until finally I am tamed by a man-god whom I will happily obey through eternity.”

      Don’t worry, there’s another option. You might also marry a beta who you thought was far below what you deserve because you can’t get anything better. Or you might hit the jackpot. It depends on your attitude to ltrs.


    • Mills,

      First, you need to recognize that a woman like you is an outlier. Even if most game truly doesn’t work on you, that doesn’t make the conclusions drawn from game incorrect as a whole.

      Second, if your first comment here is any indication, it’s probably not your intelligence that makes men not want to deal with you, it’s the way you present it. If anyone was that hostile in the way they speak to me, male or female, I’m going to turn my back on them and walk away.


      • Yup, I’m def an outlier – but I’ve never tried to argue that game doesn’t work – i’m attracted to self-confident men like all other women.
        I’m just trying to point out that game works on women for Rational reasons, borne of evolutionary dictates, – and that doesn’t make women inferior, just different from men.

        And of course I’m not this hostile in person – thats the beauty of anonymous message boards, right?
        I’m actually extremely kind and friendly towards men in person (and women as well) – I think most people are generally good, and I want to be as nice, polite, and helpful towards everyone as I can.
        Even when guys spit terrible, terrible game at me – NO, I do not want my palm read. Ever. – I still try to let them down easy and not be a rude bitch

        So sorry if I come off hostile – I really am not, but its hard to not be a little defensive when some people unload hatred and scorn on you just because you’ve voiced an opinion as a female


    • J.S.,

      I so get that your pseudonym is a play on John Stuart Mill. Can we please discuss On Liberty or something to elevate this conversation out of the groin? I’ve been laying low on these insufferable game blogs just waiting for a smart, confident woman with very pretty eyes I might add who could hold her own in an adult discussion about 19th century utilitarianism.

      Let’s ditch these wannabes. I have a nice Malbec dying to breathe back at my place right around the corner and I’d rather pour it down the sink than split it with some slurping sorority girl who couldn’t appreciate its thick complexities if I wrote them out on an index card for her, and oh yeah, there’s some Thai in my crisper from this afternoon that reheats well. You like Thai, right?

      What I’m trying to say is I respect your intelligence.


      • I was really hoping maybe someone would! I am slightly more fun and engaging to be around than some blow-up doll!

        Ahh, a nice Malbec sounds lovely. With a Bach fugue playing in the background.


      • Its intelligence that makes that 1 out of 10 men actually interesting. For anyone who really wants a marriage and family, a man really needs to take intelligence into account – unless you want to be the type who just keeps trading in your wife and kids for a newer younger model.

        Just looks gets really boring, really quick. Even for men in regards to hot women, I would imagine


      • unless you want to be the type who just keeps trading in your wife and kids for a newer younger model

        For most guys, that comes by default after their wifey goes on the eat-pray-fuck finding herself trip. Just stats, J.S. 75% of marriage breakups are initiated by women for solely solipsistic impulses (“reasons” did not seem to fit here). It is outside your experiential reality, and likely you are unaware of it, but if you etch it into your synapses and at some point in your life detect the red flag in yourself, you may have quite a happy life, let alone those around you.

        Just looks gets really boring, really quick. Even for men in regards to hot women, I would imagine

        Especially when nearing the wall. But again, it is not the “engaging intelligence” that may be the glue holding the bond together, but wisdom.


      • I have my doubts that you’re slightly more fun than a blow up doll. Intelligence, especially the bookish kind, is quite overrated, in my opinion. I prefer some hints of wisdom, which I have to say is unusual in your age group, but not non-existent. You seem to be squarely residing in the usual group.


      • Masterful sarcasm.

        Sometimes the best way to make a counter-argument is to agree.


  26. Hey, this is the OP getting back. Basically, shorthand for what you said is stop being a pussy. That’s kind of what I suspected the issue was the whole time but sometimes hearing it from someone else is reassuring.

    The whole deal with the age question is just like any other boring, uninteresting question that could be asked; just don’t give a straight answer. Easy enough.


  27. Mills,

    Bare with me here as this is likely really going to piss you off. It is not meant to, only to point some things out to you. Yeah, you do have a hamster. And guess what, so do I. Case in point #1, you felt the need to qualify yourself here earlier. That is your hamster trying to figure out why things here aren’t going as you planned. #2 In your first post you posed a question and before you even hit the enter key got defensive about any answer you might today get and answers you have gotten in previous threads. That is your hamster trying to rationalize defend your sensibilities. #3 Your utter distaste for said hamster and lack of understanding of it. Again, your little furry friend is defending you.

    The hamster does not keep all of us from being able to hold a rational conversation, but it certainly does many women. Those would be the ones who get so pissed off upon reading one thing in a long post they are completely incapable of internalizing any of it. I am sure you know someone like this.

    Again, I am not immune. I over analyze crap all the time, too. I have just gotten quite good at putting the brake on the damn exercise wheel and shut him up often. And make no mistake, men have their active little furry friends as well. They do show up here from time to time. It’s just that a woman’s hamster is simply better at jumping and running the wheel.

    Here is a joke I received in my email. You can’t tell me that there are a majority of women who do stuff like this all the time:

    Wife’s Diary:

    Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much.

    I asked him what was wrong; He said, ‘Nothing.’ I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving.

    I can’t explain his behavior I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’ When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep – I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

    Husband’s Diary:

    Boat wouldn’t start; can’t figure it out.

    The key thing here is that we are talking about MOST women. Nobody, except those who have directly commented back to you, is writing anything directly to you. They are writing about the majority. It’s not personal.


    • Perfect joke.

      Right on the dime.


    • Hehe, it’s not a joke, it’s the encapsulated truth!


    • LOL genius


    • Funny story – and of course we all do find it funny because its true of so many women! I wouldn’t argue that!

      Quickly #1- only qualifying myself (suppose that was a mistake…) cuz when posting before everyone attacked my statements on the assumption that they came from a women of a very different type

      #2- Sure, you could call it defensive – or you could call it anticipating counter-arguments. I don’t really need to rationalize my sensibilities any more or less than any other human – like everyone, I’ve come by my personal philosophy by way of experience, reading great literature (no bad chick flicks!), observation, etc. – and I dont need validation from anyone else who’s own philosophy I don’t respect

      #3- In terms of hamster-behavior, I see as much of it in men as women.
      Gotcha on the need to internalize – but I’ve read here quite a bit, I think I’ve gleaned those areas I agree with – but many men here are doing the same thing – finding some little point in my post that pisses them off, and therefore being unable to comprehend any of what I’m saying.

      Also, I’d say that it was male hamsters at work when they assumed, based on my previous posts, that I must be hideous -because apparently all attractive women are stupid, utterly submissive, and passive?
      Or when they assume that I’m in a desperate man-hunt, but scaring away all comers with my incessant ball-busting?

      Or when these little male hamsters assume that hot girls are just “flaky”- not the truth, that the girl has no interest in those old geezers, but isn’t experienced enough yet to make a clean get away and ends up giving out her number bc its the path of least resistance?

      So I think everyone has a little ego-protecting, self-rationalizing hamster to some degree – it just manifests itself in different ways among men and women


      • Sure men have hamsters. But they are compartmentalized and usually micro-sized. Unlike women’s hamster that is one big motha that cross-connects it all into one tangled mess, with hindbrain providing the pilot signal.

        There’s a correspondence with the different wiring of mental faculties–compartmental makeup of a male brain and the interconnected makeup of a female brain. Of course, that’s a generalization–we’re talking a gaussian distribution. Outliers do exist, male/female.

        and I dont need validation from anyone else who’s own philosophy I don’t respect

        You may want to correct the grammar in that sentence. I’d normally gloss it over, but there’s a disparity between your claims and your presentation.

        A recommendation. Take a few weeks sabbatical from CR, then come back and read your posts. You may be (no guarantees, but presuming a moderate level of objective analytical abilities in your case). able to discern how they come across.


  28. The only thing Dr. Grzlickson runs solo with is his right hand. 8 days a week…


  29. If you’re going to game solo, for fucks sake do not cruise around the bar or club doing endless laps and looking around the place like you have lost your friends or on the lookout for a target.
    Women can spot that shit from a mile away.
    Pick a good, high traffic spot, say at the bar and stay there for at least an hour.
    Eventually, everyone in the place will come by you.


    • How do you keep from getting BORED waiting for decent looking girls to pass by?


      • This is my question too. The bartender is usually too busy to talk. The dudes on either side are too sullen to talk. Reading a book at a bar would be out of place unless it were mid-afternoon. This leaves you two options – stare at your drink or stare at the TV behind the bar – both of which kind of make you look like a tool.

        If you follow the 3-second approach rule, it’s like you have to make a beeline straight for the hot girls, which will seem predatory and erect bitch shields. If you stalk around like a lion on the savannah, it will make you look predatory and insecure.

        It is tough to see how to properly make a dolo bar appearance and chat up a few sets without it seeming forced and awkward. I think it deserves a whole post.


  30. Maybe the commenters can offer their experiences with handling the age shit test from younger women

    I tend to blow off any age shit tests – don’t feed any energy into them. Sometimes I’ll mention that my last girlfriend was her age (I usually aim for 21 year old or so girls). In SE Asia westerners can get away with large age differences that even the locals can’t hope for. I’ve got a 23 year age difference now that no one even mentions, other than by hinting. When I previously complained about my girl to other girls they would say that I should keep her because she’s so beautiful – meaning way out of my league.

    I’ve never done any clever routines around age. Even the girls fat ugly cock blocking friend is calling me “grandpa’s grandpa” in her native tongue, I just assume attraction and assume the sale. It’s a non issue that needs no special treatment.

    I work a Daddy angle, that has the age difference feel like an advantage. Not all girls date outside their range of pretty boys, but a sizeable enough minority do that the dating pool is big enough.


  31. I’d say that when in doubt about how to handle any shit test, if nothing clever comes to mind and you don’t have any handle on how to spin things to your advantage, don’t bother.

    You don’t really pass or fail verbal jousting tests. The girl is mostly probing your attitude. Does that finger in your ribs make you squeal? You don’t have to give any specific response. Just knowing that is already a pass.

    Its just more colorful and dramatic to be witty. But you can interject wit at any time – you don’t have to have snappy come backs on demand.


  32. I mean, can you imagine George Clooney giving any sort of game come-back to a shit test about age?

    Why would he bother? He feels his mate value, and has no need to qualify himself up or down. He knows he’s the man – the wanted man.

    You can always use a micro facial expression in lieu of a verbal put down. A quick flash of a sneer, or boredom. Or an incoming phone call. Body language and attitude should always be conveying that you are ease with the girls sexual market value and consider yourself above her.

    Age actually IS a sign of higher sexual market value. You younger guys will argue against this, but from what I’ve seen over and over and again, is that girls easily get dissatisfied with their naive toy boys, and can only find a real man in an older experienced man.

    I was a really really great fuck as a twenty something. I had most of my hair back then. In many ways I had decent game for a twenty something. But compared to my older self, I’m in other ways at a disadvantage.

    The Daddy dynamic is an advantage that most guys never even dream of. If you can work that, you’ve got real sexual power. I don’t mean exactly libido – I mean a dynamic of both dominance and mate protecting care that ensnares a woman like vodoo.

    Younger guys can’t work it like that.


    • Xsplat for the win.

      Ramdom pussy tends to fall into your lap more often during a guy’s 20’s based on sheer proximity and gusto.

      But access to the full spectrum of feminine beauty and leverage over its reigning Elite still requires membership in the grownup Gentlemen’s Club. Sorry, no frat boys allowed.

      In Asia, multiply that by Nuclear. Confucian values and all that…


  33. Alfa?

    Seems like it. He is 50 and got a 30 year old woman. Cougars must be fuming.


  34. Just lie about your age? It’s not hard?


  35. JS MILLs

    The problem with all of this saying you are intelligent and game doesn’t work on you stuff is that women are full of claims like this. You need to start divulging information that isn’t just opinion about how smart you are.

    What matters is who you have sex with and why. From a male perspective the only useful manifestation of your intellect is in how it helps you choose a partner. If we are honest a Woman literally only has a few perogatives, Look good, get good man, have good kiddies. You need to prove you are not failing at this before we accept any info you divulge. Saying you are smart just doesn’t cut it, there are a lot of women saying a lot of things about themselves these days.

    Please start detailing number of sexual encounters, appearance and occupation of lovers, where you met etc And the guys can decide for themselves what they think of your “intellect” and how you put it to use.

    It’s kind of like how us guys could all claim to have game or be alpha, but it doesn’t really mean anything to anyone else unless they see the girls you banged and hear details of your pick up.


  36. Men are also subconsciously aware that your interactions with them is all that matters.

    Hence why your chastity, way you dress and hold yourself are all much more important than your supposed intellect.

    A womans survival skills is in how she conducts herself sexually and men know it. The question they might ask themself is:

    “If i wasn’t with this woman or in harder times, would she survive?”

    sadly, if you have been acting in an arrogant manner around males, have been getting pumped and dumped, mating with genetically and intellectually inferior specimins, emotionally jewing over the people who actually care about you and treat you well etc your skills are poor, whatever your IQ.

    Stop talking about your brain, start talking about your love life.


  37. Understand also that in the state of nature your main survival skill is your sexuality. Men know this subconsciously which is why a large or dodgy sexual history, bastard children, tasteless dress and behaviour, being old and mateless/childlessetc is frowned upon by most men. It’s not just that they dislike these behaviours, they are also indicative of failure with serious implications, just like beta behaviour is indicative of male failure with serious implications. A woman may want sexy sons, but a man doesn’t want frivolous sluts for daughters, so he doesn’t want to feel you are lucky to have him or that he treats you better than you deserve.

    The only relevance of your “intellect” to most men is how it manifests itself in your sexual choices.

    It’s nice that you are intelligent, but if you are getting pumped and dumped, mating with racially, genetic or intellectually inferior stock, behaving bitchy or arrogant, disrespecting those who actually care or could provide for you etc you are not so smart and men know it.


  38. naturally, a womans sexuality is her main survival skill and men know this instictinctively, which is why men are critical and reserve right to place judgement on many aspects of a females being.

    Just like a woman might want sexy sons, men don’t want frivolous little sluts and bitches for daughters. Thus promiscuity, a large sexual history, bastard children, Tasteless dress and behaviour, mating with racially/genetically/intellectually inferior stock, and being 30+ and mateless/childless is not acceptable to a lot of men. These aren’t just thing that men decided irritate them, they are important factors with far reaching implications, just like beta behaviour has big implications to a woman. It all demonstrates poor survival skills.

    A man doesn’t want to feel like he is giving you an advantage in life you don’t deserve, or treating you too well, especially if he has good genetics why would he want to go out of his way at cost to himself in time, resources and opportunity to ensure the survival of genes with poor survivability? Genes that just got “lucky” with him. Women have their own mechanisms, thats why they really hate letting a beta get lucky.

    Betas are unfuckable, but plenty of women are unlovable and clear bad investments.


  39. Going solo has been one of the hardest challenges for me…I am often haunted by the rejection I’ve felt in earlier life…I have gimmicks which help..
    -high energy talking to the dj/band then a quick high five and hit the set (picked before the gimmick starts)
    -I’m looking for my mate but your hotter,tell me we’re not talking work though..

    I want to get away from this stuff but the fact is I’d rather use crutches than go home feeling annoyed at the sets I did..


  40. This is too hilarious not to share…


  41. Here’s the irony…now SOLO is at loose ends because he’s 21 and can’t bag 23 year olds.

    But fast forward 10 years….He’s 31 he’ll be at loose ends because he can no longer bang 21 year olds who think HE is too old….

    Since I discovered game as a tool, age is irrelevant. Being rejected is not a state, it’s a learning.


  42. The toughest part about rolling solo is what to do in between opening sets.

    It can get boring waiting for an opening to talk to a chick that gets nearby.

    Roosh has some good things to say about rolling solo, but he didn’t really address what to do in between opening sets. Sitting around gets boring fast and bouncing around like a rabbit hitting on every chick in the bar will quickly get you labelled “That Guy.”

    As for what to say, you can usually run a “I’m new in town & don’t really know anybody yet” routine to explain why you are running solo.


  43. My question for the emailer is why are you wasting time going for 23 year olds at the bar when you could be banging the 18 year olds on campus?


  44. on June 30, 2011 at 12:15 pm Pterodactyl Guano

    “The great Arthur schopenhaur concluded that the only use for an intelligent woman was to breed with an intelligent, honorable man and produce talented sons to benefit the nations economic and military strength.”

    If you said that to a woman at a bar, would you get laid? Would it help if you smiled when you said it? Or should you say it with a serious look on your face?


    • Your game better be spot on to pull this one off, but if she is intelligent and not COMPLETELY full of herself, you MIGHT pull it off. It could just get you a red, stinging cheek, though.

      (*Hint* If you have to ask the best way to pull this off, don’t try it.)


    • i can’t really think of a good reason to say that to a woman you’re trying to pick up.


    • absolutely if she was a chick who fancied herself “intelligent”

      e.g. it’d probably work on you


  45. The most charismatic, heroic individuals are always the ones who travel alone. : ) Solo appears (even if you’re not) independent, courageous, confident, self sufficient……. Also, if I wanted to hit on a guy ( but I don’t cause I have one already…hee! hee!) I would be less intimidating hitting on someone who is ALL BY HIMSELF!!!… isolate and go in for the attack!! hehe!!


  46. Mills,

    I’ve been on countless dates with ‘women’ like you – the whole time is a power play to validate your intelligence and worth as a woman on masculine terms. With each passing moment not only does my attraction wane, the urge to get up and leave grows. Men like feminine qualities not only looks – the only traits you’re displaying is how you can compete in a man’s world – which betrays your innate feminine power and attractiveness. It’s fantastic that you are smart, stop trying to prove it and contribute to interesting topics instead of trying to dominate with men. Women like you are sad, you think you can figure it all out with your mind, when you should smile and giggle more… be warm and friendly.


  47. @Sidewinder: I agree with you that I don’t need to appear more self-confident (even though I think more self-respect and ability to stand up for myself would be more attractive to men – and both are somewhat connected to self-confidence, aren’t they? I don’t know.) or even aggressive to attract men. I just thought that aggressiveness is useful in general, in everyday life, in school, at work – where I have to compete with man. I think my brain is totally feminine and I guess that sometimes I appear weak and childish because of that. Women have to compete with man these days, u know, it’s a thing just as important as is attracting a men. We have to have jobs in order to have our own money/take care of ourselves and to make this, we have to compete with men. Or maybe it’s just me in that kind of situation. I don’t want to write about my job right now, but it’s stressful, because I’m so non-competitive. I’m not lazy, I just don’t want to compete and I want everyone be happy. That’s why I want to be more aggressive, because of my job. And being single and 26 at the same time kills me. I feel like I only want to find a man, have kids and be totally submissive and take care of my husband and kids. That’s my fantasy. But in reality I have to work and I’m single. I have a good career, though. But if I won’t find a boyfriend I’m going to feel really bad in the future I suppose.
    Okay, I hope I explained why I want to be more aggressive, although it seems that I just can’t achieve that. I always thought I’m testosterone deficient. (I don’t know whether it’s true, but I like thinking about hormones and stuff a lot …)

    @DiamondEyes: You THOUGHT there was hope for me … I don’t like your comment.

    Thanks to everyone else for your comments. Cool blog!


    • on June 30, 2011 at 3:25 pm DiamondEyes

      What I meant by my comment Maya is that if you are reasonably cute and feminine, and yet you are 26 years old, still a virgin, and have not found an eligible guy, there is something wrong there. The most likely case is that you have been courted and approached many many times, but only by men who you considered to be beneath you. You coldly turned them down. The trouble with that attitude is that is shows an inaccurate assessment of your sexual market value. This is a common problem in feminist societies.

      In general, the type of men who hit on you most often, are the type of men you deserve to be with. If you think they are not good enough for you, you have a distorted, inflated self-worth. If you were cute and sexy enough for the alpha of your dreams to be attracted to you, you’d have already had dozens of opportunities to be with guys like that.

      If you were 19 years old, I would say that you haven’t had enough time in the dating game to assess your SMV yet. But at 26, and still unsold, it shows that your price has been set higher than your worth.

      If you consider what I say and adjust your expectations, it might help you find a satisfying relationship with one of the numerous guys who are all around you hitting on you every week.


      • @DiamondEyes: Thanks for explanation. I get your point. It’s really very interesting. Here is how I see my SMV. I think at the age of 19 I assessed my SMV about zero because of some problems I had with the feeling of shame (so I didn’t let any guy to really find out what a zero am I – though I was sad because of that when seeing cute guys talking to me) and fear, but I could survive because I was still reasonably young so I wasn’t that crazily interested into the opposite sex. By 21 I started to “notice” guys viscerally (I love this word, even though I don’t know whether I use it in the right context here) and I felt I want to “sell” myself. At that point I had another problem that temporally changed my SMV, but at the age of 26 I am in total panic, because I see my SMV irreversibly declining.

        I have never overestimated my SMV, although I’ve always been a radical feminist. I never thought that my school performance or things like that could ever attract guys. Subconsciously I think I’ve always known that only youth, absence of defects on my body, femininity, health and lack of past sexual experience (this one is funny, because on my conscious level I’ve noticed that other people believe it’s “soooo strange” to still be a virgin at, say, 19 ) could attract men. I assumed that being quite good looking (okay, I don’t know about this, I can’t really assess that for myself, but let’s say, not having major defects on my body) and being feminine gives me some points. But until it became somewhat an urgency to find a guy (at about 21) I clung to my fears and insecurities regarding the opposite sex (due mainly to sexual abuse in the past, unnatural feminist beliefs that left me conflicted with my own feelings, dysfunctional family and other reasons I don’t want to mention), so at 21 I had that so much energy and interest to find someone, but unfortunately I soon experienced an injury that affected my SMV just a little but left me depressed for some time and made me go back quickly into my fears/shame from the past. I felt like my SMV dropped from quite high to low again. I obviously didn’t like that and since I had a feeling I still have much time I wasn’t really looking for a guy. I waited for my problems to magically go away. I thought I’ll be looking for a guy later. I wasn’t sexually frustrated because I (ab)used daydreaming and masturbation, avoided guys who expressed interest (because I felt I deserve more, based on the previous feeling of high SMV), focused on study etc. When I noticed that I’m loosing my SMV rapidly because of ageing (it’s not severe, but noticing how my friends are not so cute anymore made me think) I found out that I have to fix/ignore everything that could affect my SMV and find someone quickly. That’s why I’m a 26 y.o virgin now with declining SMV, extremely sexually frustrated (to the point that it’s better for (alpha) guys not even touching me physically, because I feel like swooning and falling from the chair, almost) and inclined to go to bed with a first reasonably attractive guy that I meet (but on the other hand being afraid that he will just be interested in casual sex and I will fall in love and he will leave me and I’ll be 28 with a SMV dangerously low).

        I know this is not some psychotherapy blog and I’m quite off topic again, but I like it, because I can write about theories I can’t really talk about in real life (my friends and family are too feminist, so everyone says that I shouldn’t worry at all as I have muuuuuch time left and nobody agrees on SMV assessment for women – here inner beauty is enough to find a quality man).


      • Anyway. How tall are you and how much do you weigh? What is your ethnicity? On a scale from 1 to 10, how would you rate your teeth? What is your most attractive feature?


      • I believe that youth, femininity and having as little flaws as possible are most important features of a woman wanting to reproduce, so I tried to assess myself according to these. I know we all might be deluded a little, but I see that you probably think that I’m deluded a lot, so if it helps you (to help me): I’m white, smaller and slimmer than average women and others I can’t comment. I try to take care about my genes and their products as I want to present myself in the best light.


      • Alright, look. You want a man to lead you, yet you can’t even answer simple questions. A good deal of your anxiety and hamster-craziness could be mitigated by a strong male taking care of you, but not all of it. You are going to have to get a handle on some of this.


      • on June 30, 2011 at 9:25 pm DiamondEyes

        You seem to be more introspective than most women, which is a good thing. But let me point something out here. You describe yourself as a lifelong radical feminist, with sexuality issues stemming from abuse and injuries, and a lack of awareness on where your SMV really is. I am not trying to be cruel, but I must be frank: I don’t think any true alphas will be attracted to you.

        It’s mainly the feminism thing, but the other stuff matters too.

        No self-respecting alpha will put up with an ounce of feminist crap. Only betas do that. It might be a little different in a place like Sweden, but generally a feminist woman is the opposite of the sweet, proudly feminine, sexually adventurous, supportive, doting wife that an alpha expects.

        Adjust your expectations, lose the feminism, or be unhappy.


      • Oh, I wasn’t clear enough I see. Sorry. My English, again. I wrote “I’ve always been a feminist”, but I wanted to say “I WAS a feminist my whole life, (but changed my mind radically a few weeks ago)”.

        About the sexual abuse, I don’t know, can it, by itself, lower the SMV?
        In my case, the problem was more that I used to avoid men or purposefully “lower” my SMV in order to avoid their attention … but I don’t know whether knowing that a girl was abused can make her less sexy? I think it’s far less important than is old age, obesity, etc.


      • Unfortunately, yes to some degree but most men will sympathize with your situation and it isn’t as big a deal as it use to be. Just make sure not to bring it up at all until well into a relationship. If you feel the need to blurt it out on the 2nd date then it will be to your detriment.

        But voluntary promiscuity is worse. No man wants to marry a girl that’s been with all their guy friends and back before. Luckily, you being a virgin means you have a decent amount going for you.


      • Maya,

        I really think you will find more of what you are looking for here:

        Will be a far more informative environment and closer to what I think you are looking for in a blog. See King A’s post below. You are entering the wolf’s den here.


      • Thank you, Stingray, the blog you recommended seems really interesting!

        I’m leaving this blog because I found a better one.


      • on July 1, 2011 at 10:38 am DiamondEyes

        glad you changed your mind about feminism, but it is a deeply ingrained belief system that effects all of your thoughts and actions. no way you can change that in “a few weeks”.

        good luck.


      • Wolf’s den? I hope you were not referring to me as one of these wolves. I’m pretty comfortable in my higher beta skin. I was only trying to be helpful.


      • No, Sidewinder, you’re good and you were being helpful. But you have to admit that some of the commenters here are wolves. May not be the best place for someone like Maya to start her journey through the manosphere.


  48. For different reasons, I have been going solo for a while. At the beginning, it’s a shit experience. After a while, you know what?

    You grow into a mofo ALPHA. I happened to live alone in vienna (austria) for a few months. I went out alone for this time. One night, I had two friends with me.

    I fucking felt I could do whatever. Now, I go out alone most of the times. Bigger groups are just boring, loser and I have no patience for them.

    I have no fun talking bullshit with a crew of betas and their ugly girls all the night.

    So: keep going out.

    Remember: the only thing to fear is fear itself. When women see that you are alone, they overwhelmed. A man going out alone must be so self-confident. This is what women love.


  49. I realize a lot of women may blow off men they think are beneath them, but there is also something else going on. We can’t help who we are or are not attracted to (men or women). If the attraction is simply not there, expections have nothing to do with there not being any boyfriends.


    • on June 30, 2011 at 4:59 pm DiamondEyes

      yes, and the guy with a house on the market priced at $800,000, who hasn’t had a single inquiry in 18 months, is just holding out for the right sucker. doesn’t mean it will happen.


      • That anonymous was me. Smartphone didn’t post it right. Anyway, I never said it would happen. But would you settle in a marriage for someone you weren’t even attracted to, let alone have sex with that person? I am not saying she should hold out for the alpha that she truly wants. I am saying, it may have nothing to do with her thinking men are beneath her. If she finds a beta who she is truly attracted to, loves and returns that love, any women would likely be crazy not to take that these days. If there is nothing there though? It ends before it even has a chance to start.


      • I think posters on this site often get too black/white throwing around beta and alpha…unless you take the view that only the elite 1% of celebrity males (whether local, national or international) are actual alphas and all other males are varying degrees of beta, we are dealing with a spectrum comprising a number of attributes. Very few women would actually want to be with Ghengis Khan. He was an alpha by any measure, but 99% of women would rather be with a stable and secure lower alpha or maybe higher beta. While a ton of women would sleep with George Clooney in a heartbeat, a very large percentage of them would think twice before putting all their emotional eggs in that basket.


      • Yes. I’m new to this blog and I admit I haven’t read everything and I thought alpha=attractive, beta=annoying looser, now I see that beta=nice guy, actually.


      • My response was either spiked for length or stuck in moderation hell. Maya, I have read your commentary over the last few days.

        What you are looking for will not be found here. For every three hidden truths revealed on this blog, they promote one devastating lie. Make no mistake: the truths are real and powerful and persuasive — but that simply makes the lie that much harder to detect and deflect.

        This blog is a highly concentrated male id tank. You are a damaged person, the abuse has indelibly marked you. You are living out the consequences of your abuser’s evil. Most women are not reliable navigators through jungles like these, but abused women are completely lost. You are a wounded bunny hiding in a tree hollow listening to the wolves who wait and prowl feet away.

        You need to submit to a trustworthy guidance. This website is designed precisely to take advantage of that specifically female need for guidance, and it regularly instructs its readers how to mimic trustworthiness in order to use and discard female vulnerabilities.

        Nos fecisti ad te et inquietum est cor nostrum donec requiescat in te.


      • on June 30, 2011 at 9:29 pm DiamondEyes

        According to this blog, an alpha is just a guy who gets a lot of sex with a lot of women. guys who can do that expect a lot of variety in sexual partners for their whole lives, or else one woman who is near perfect in every way. all the rest of the guys, the other 90%, are so-called Betas, meaning that they have not learned how to manipulate women into bed, and rely on being kind and decent men in order to attract more modest women. It does not mean they are losers.


      • Maya:

        The false gods who have run of this place will chew you up and spit you out. They have no answer to your predicament that does not ultimately involve your debasement. You are not over the hill, but you are smart to calculate that time is limited.

        You are conservative, modest, and realistic about your limitations. Good, you’re halfway there. Now you need religion. The predators who squat in these comment boxes need you to not need religion. Whatever prejudices you have against true spirituality — get over them. That is your one path out. Psychotherapy, meds, advice from kindly strangers, sympathy from family, well-meaning beta-providers: none of that will suffice to fill the emptiness in your heart.

        Your desire for alpha is a sublimated desire for The Alpha. Many will adopt the Alpha characteristics that resonate with your nature in order to wittingly or unwittingly revisit your abuse. We smell the neediness, we know how easy it is to manipulate a girl whose sexual wires were crossed in her youth.

        To this point you have been guarded and defensive, but your nature will eventually have its say. Thinking your options have been foreclosed, you will take a very stupid risk. We will then suck the remaining vitality you have from your soul, kick your damaged goods to the curb after your sell-by date, and not feel bad about it. (See the October 8, 2007 post: “I Have Stolen Many Prime Years of Girls’ Lives”)

        Do yourself and your future children a favor: submit to the only one who can love you unconditionally, and turn the pretenders away. The rest will fall into place. That is a promise. If you don’t know how, ask someone you know who knows. And God bless you.


      • Betas are the “nice guys” that you would never consider dating yourself because they don’t excite you even though on paper they’ve got everything you want in a mate except that you aren’t physically attracted to them at all. So you try to set them up with your fat friends who need a man.


  50. The key to being cougar bait… be hot, shrug and go “hey, I won’t tell anyone” (let out that you got a big dick, too).


  51. Long time reader, and fan of this wonderful blog of course, I just wanted to let everybody at the chateau know that the Dominique Strauss-Kahn case looks like it will collapse….anyway, Just letting everybody know, the news just broke last night.

    Thank you from an appreciative reader.


  52. @King A: Thanks you for your comment.
    About truths and lies … feminism is even more illogical, unnatural and against the intuition, yet it’s much more popular in general public than this evolutionary psychology stuff. I don’t know about U.S though, because you’re much more religious there, but I can tell that for my social environment.
    I agree I’m damaged and lost to some extent, that’s actually the reason why I want to understand my feelings better. I don’t think this blog is bad for me.
    @DiamondEyes: Thanks for explanation what ‘alpha’ and ‘beta’ means.


    • Maya,

      Listen/read carefully:

      1. You are not damaged.
      2. You are not “lost” to any extent.
      3. You have self-awareness of concerns that you should be thinking about.
      4. No one on this blog is going to seduce or otherwise use you.
      5. Religion is only useful to the extent that it assists in the search for menaing and truth.

      Good luck, SW


      • 1.&2. I don’t know. I feel damaged sometimes and lost, as well.
        3. ? (I don’t live anywhere near USA)
        4. About religion I don’t know, I’m an atheist, maybe I’ll convert someday, but I doubt.



      • I mean 3=4 and 4=5, sorry.


      • Maya is damaged and lost, and so are you. We all are. This Daily Affirmation with Stuart Smalley regime of unearned self-esteem (1. You’re not lost! 2. You’re good enough, smart enough, and 3. Doggone it people like you! etc.) is at the heart of the feminist lie and all of the vague uneasiness Maya is attempting to correct for, before it’s too late.

        No one on the blog will seduce or use her. It is not possible on this medium, that should be obvious. But they will peddle lies that make her more susceptible to being used. If you have any acquaintance with abuse victims, you will know they don’t need any help in that regard.

        Yes, “[R]eligion is only useful to the extent that it assists in the search for me[an]ing and truth.” That’s essentially the defining purpose of religion. And given that Maya is searching for a little truth, that’s another way of saying she could use mature guidance from people who daily study and practice in that field. Instead of Chicken Soup for the Soul books, maybe she should check out the thriving institutions that have been on that search for twenty centuries. Will all the answers be found there for her? No. But it might give her more of a hint than Dr. Phil or the editor of Citizen Renegade.

        What’s sad is that she’s looking for love in all the wrong places. She is combing a pick-up site for nuggets of truth because she’s at a crossroads and this is one place she found that isn’t packed to the ceiling with misleading lies. All I’m saying is: the many truths propounded by this website notwithstanding, there are far, far better resources at her disposal that are much more relevant to her needs.


      • King, I’m not so sure she’s going to find better resources. I found more here and in peripheral blogs that helped me in the past 3 years than I did in a lifetime of “you go girl” and emotional coddling.

        This is where the truth is in that this is where men feel free to state their honest opinions and perspectives without fear or retribution. I say she should stick around and keep an open mind.


  53. I’m an atheist as well, but there is still much to be learned from religion.


    • That’s true. Morality at least.


      • Not necessarily. If you start from the premise that it is mythology, then the creation and maintenance of such mythology by human beings can tell you quite a bit about the nature of people. And if God did not deliver all the commandments, demands and prohibitions that various religions are supposed to follow, why did ancient people find those particular creeds to be so important to the survival of their culture and civilization?


      • Probably they tried it without all these prohibitions etc. too, and it didn’t work out. I don’t know what ancient people had in their heads. Same things as we do, I guess.

        Good night,

        (I’ve spent way too much of my limited time on the internet recently – -> I’d like to go to do something to increase my SMV now).


      • Then The Hunt for Alpha is your religion, and tarting up your SMV is your sacramental ritual. Everyone has a faith. Some are more explicitly aware of what motivates them than others.

        It is impossible to live without a metaphysic. The choice that is given us is not between some kind of metaphysic and no metaphysic; it is always between a good metaphysic and a bad metaphysic, a metaphysic that corresponds reasonably closely with observed and inferred reality and one that doesn’t.

        — Aldous Huxley, Ends and Means

        Good luck with all that. Do report back. Let us know how it goes.


      • No. The fact that I’m helplessly attracted to alpha characteristics on men doesn’t mean that this is my religion. Mainly, I just want to live and be happy.

        Have a nice day.


      • Maya, you are attracted to your abuser. It’s in your wiring. No description of reality, no talking cure, no medication is going to fix that in you. In another era a man (your father) would have protected you from predators. Now you are trolling a site that trains men to be predators and ridicule protectors.

        Enjoy the cock gauntlet. It will be easier than you think to hop in. But when the battery is over and you feel lower than bathtub mildew and your long-term value has plummeted through the floor, remember — even then — there is another way.

        Where is your dad? This should have been drilled into you more than a decade ago.


  54. @guys who can’t roll solo, @older guys nervous about their SMV

    Jesus Christ, will you grow a pair!

    Even if you can’t be A. B. Dada and proof the fuck out the joint, what’s the problem with savoring your delicious beverage and a moment of warm respite?

    You dont need a book or a laptop. Just be in the fucking moment. That drink means something to you. Brood a bit. It makes you mysterious and powerful. There’s plenty of opportunity when you get back from the washroom or from shooting pool.

    I wasn’t much of a drinker but would sometimes stop at this working class Polish bar in Greenpoint, Brooklyn for a cold one. One day this older guy starts chatting me up but whenever he would take a sip from his tumbler, he’d pause, look at his drink, savor it and have to snap himself back to our conversation. It left me feeling a mixture of respect and melancholy. I later developed a taste for single malts and premium blends.

    Old guys? Ever have a crush on a hot teacher or one of your mom’s friends?

    Well, every girl wants to sleep with the Teacher. Daddy game is all about framing yourself as the gateway to her mature “education.” Tool younger, directionless guys mercilessly. Talk about their lack of sexual stamina and few girlfriends. YOU, on the other hand, are simply offering (or implying that you’re willing) to share with her the fruits of your experience. But only if she’s READY.

    My 24-year old Thai Stewardess knows I’m not divorced and calls me Daddy. She once told me “I like playboys because he knows what he wants.”

    Is this even game? Just grow a pair and own the present fucking moment.


    • That’s the simple truth — I go out to have a cocktail, wheel and deal with pub owners and managers, and have a good time with my guy friends. 9 times out of 10, I prefer meeting dames during the day, not at bars. But there’s never harm in flirting and spitting Game. In fact, i’d say that getting numbers and putting one’s name out there can help build social proof in the long run. Anonymity is boring, aim for reputation. I go out to have fun, sometimes to close deals. Women are low on the list.


  55. Daigoro,

    Excellent comment. And the “lack of sexual prowess” is a remarkable and true fact about young men that young women realize. Always laughingly bring it up.

    It’s good to read a post by someone who enjoys life and gets women as a consequence of his genius for life.



  56. King A,

    Oh my god, only now I checked up the dictionary, what ‘trolling’ means …
    Look, I just wanted to tell what I feel, I didn’t want to be too annoying.

    Your posts are interesting. I was thinking about my father. He never lived with us. My mother was single. Do fathers want to protect their daughters? Mine was always asking me why I don’t have a boyfriend and why I never get drunk and have party.

    Maybe you could be right about my attraction to alphas as well. I never felt safe in my life. At about fifteen I became totally anxious. I still just want to feel safe and protected like a child. It’s stupid I know, because nobody wants to put up with a grown up person behaving like a child. But I can’t sleep at night! I really never feel safe. I’m quite neurotic and I think I could heal this problem when I find someone where I can feel safe.

    I’m sorry if anyone feels offended by my off-topic posts, but I really just wanted to tell what I feel.


  57. Maya,

    Thanks for being so honest. BTW, I am a girl too. These guys are really harmless. Some are quite entertaining! hehe!! They just want to get their point across. I guess they need to keep their frame and that’s why they may come across as harsh. Not everyone will agree with you and neither do you need to agree with everyone. It’s a blog…..just have fun! Nothing need to be so serious! : )


  58. @King A: I wasn’t clear enough. I’m NOT attracted to my abuser. Whenever I think about him I feel nauseated. This is NOT sexual attraction. I think I’m attracted to alphas because I want to feel safe and have someone around who is not as ‘weak’ as I am.

    @what: I don’t see this blog as a place where I could be ‘having fun’. And why not be serious? I think my love life is an important thing. I find this blog very interesting, but not “fun” at all.


    • Maya,

      I’m not meaning to diminish the importance of your love life. It’s ok. serious or fun, it doesn’t matter. Whatever works for you. : )


      • Oh, it’s okay. I didn’t want to be mean. But if you were reading my other comments on this blog, than you noticed that I don’t really have ‘normal’ love life and that my experience and views are different than other people’s. I’m here on this blog to talk about these things, because I see that people here have similar interests.


      • Hi honey – I’m sure I don’t have any great advice for you, but you seem like an absolute sweetheart, and I’m sure you have a happy family and a loving husband in your future. When you keep putting yourself out there as a sweet, family-oriented girl who’s looking for a faithful, stable life, there’s a lot of men who would be happy to have that in a wife, I’m sure.
        After all, most people do end up married – even a whole lot who are older, less feminine and committed, etc. than you.
        And I do think most men are basically good too – even those who make a sport out of trying to sleep around mostly aren’t trying to really hurt anyone – so I’m sure if you just present yourself as who you are, a guy who’s looking for more than a one-night stand will be glad there are girls like you.


      • My guess is she’s Asian and makes you look fat and seem prickly.


      • Thank you J.S.Mills for your support. I also believe that most men are basically good too and that they don’t want to hurt anyone intentionally. I just had some bad experience and I live somewhere where casual sex is the norm so I have some problems relating to the opposite sex, but it’s getting better. Thanks again for being kind.


  59. Everyone who engaged heavily with Maya doesn’t have game.


  60. Running solo is much less difficult if you arrive later to the bar/nightclub. It is really hard for me to be alone and also among the first to arrive.


  61. On the other hand, it’s a relatively simple subterfuge to neutralize an older woman’s objection to sleeping with you

    I can’t believe the original Roissy wrote this. This kind of worry is analogous to a client wondering if the used car salesman won’t like him.


  62. there is a lot of comments here about older guys and younger girls but almost everyone knows that girls naturally like older guys. My question here is what if its the other way around? In my case i’m 19 and my current target is a 23 year old. My game has been pretty good with her and she is obviously attracted to me and we talked about fucking on several occasions but never got down to it yet (made out with her a few times but nothing else) . do you think she will be fine with fucking or what? i told her im 19. let me know thanx


    • I recommend you to look for a girl you can fall in love with. If you offer only sex (without love/commitment) it will be difficult. No girl will be fine just with “fucking”. If you are something really special, then maybe. But then your target will fall in love with you.

      (I really love offering advice on this blog 🙂 My qualifications are mentioned above)


  63. I think it’s great that women come on here to have discussions amongst themselves. Sort of like a girlie-girl tea party at the Chateau. I think we should all be nice to them, even give them admin rights to delete those men who disagree or are mean. Change the background color of the site to pink, have more posts about “girl game,” BBW, and how to balance career and daycare auditions, then maybe it’ll get picked up by Jezebel or Feministing or even Salon as a guest blog. Empowering!


    • Pink is fine. We should definitely add pictures of baby animals, too.


      • Another example of male feminization attempt.
        And now i get it.
        The whole thing has to do with women who have been abused, have daddy issues or other sorts of problems with men in their past. But mostly parental issues.
        So in their attempt to deal with their own problems from the past, they relive the script and try to fix it, like make men more feminine or play a victim role in order to get compassion then suck men into their world of “little scared bunny” in an attempt to overpower them so they don’t be a “threat ” anymore.
        A healthy woman has nothing to fear in a man, she likes sex and don’t expect a man to marry her immediately, which is stupid by itself. She is not desperate.
        Desperate women and men too, get into whole bunch of troubles in relationships. And they wine like this:
        “I gave you my pussy/i gave you my small dick, and you are not going to stay with me forever and give me the love i lack in childhood ! ”

        And finally, biggest mistake in life (regarding relationships) is to look for someone to save you or fix your problems, eg. to complete you.
        Let me explain.
        Healthy strong women look for healthy strong men (true alpha) to stay with them for life.
        Women with deep issues want Alpha males too, but for different reasons, usually to be their daddy, but Alphas don’t want them for life, real one not even for sex.
        The only “Alphas” that want them are the ones who also have “issues” themselves, and the girl gets hurt again and the vicious circle continues.
        So until a person heals itself, the same persons cannot attract what she really needs.
        I hope you understand this.
        Most of the people on this blog are not Alphas, they try to learn to be one because for everyone dating sucked at some point in life and they want to change this. This is also good because in the process they will learn to be better Men and learning always brings progress.

        The priority of a true Alpha male is not looking for pussy ( he is attracting them by nature), it’s fighting the world for his ideals. But deep down he knows he will settle for The One. A woman that will hopefully give him children and stay by his side and sooth his wounds when he comes home from battling the world to make it better place to be.