Laying Down The Law On Attention Whores

A reader talks about how he trains his slut girlfriend:

I have to credit the Chateau to some degree for what has happened in my relationship over the past week.

A little background: We’ve been dating for about 15 months or so, it’s a pretty serious relationship and I am letting her move in with me starting in January. She’s a solid 8, 5’2″, 100lbs and a great body.

I am currently away for work for the next 7 weeks, and it’s put a bit of a strain on the relationship for the first few weeks of my absence. [ed: if you have hand in the relationship — i.e., she wants you more than you want her, or you have more latent options than she has — a long absence will work in your favor.] This past weekend she said she and her best friend were going to get matching tattoos that they’d been talking about getting for years. They were going to get them on their ankles, which I found to be incredibly trashy looking. I put my foot down and said I did not approve and did not want her to get it. She lashed out initially and got upset, saying she felt like she couldn’t make decisions on her own anymore. I told her simply and succinctly that if she was wanting to be in this type of serious relationship with me that there were boundaries. I stood my ground, and was rewarded. Shortly after, her response was that she was not getting the ankle tattoo…and much love was sent my way.

In previous portions of my life I may not have reacted as confidently and strongly. I give partial credit to this site for waking my ass up. Thank you.

Proving a Chateau maxim, tattoos are a leading indicator of sluttiness. The more garish the tattoo, and the closer the tattoo sits to an erogenous zone, the more likely the wearer has taken the cock carousel for an extended after-hours spin.

But tattoos are also kind of sexy, especially small ones in dainty, hidden places, like the ankle or hip. This is why girls both wish to have them, and feel guilt about getting them: tats make women more attractive as short term flings but less attractive as long-term romantic partners.

I commend you for laying down the law. Your spidey sense tingled and telegraphed to you that your girlfriend would become a bigger cheating risk if she followed through with getting the tattoo. And the fact that she wants a tat has made you reevaluate her fidelity risk profile. Yours was a bold move, and chicks dig the bold move.

Naturally, a girl will stamp her wee feet when you tell her you won’t tolerate this or that behavior from her. But if you stay firm and in control of your emotions, and you are perfectly ready to call her bluff should she attempt the ol’ “I’ll find someone else who can appreciate me” counter-maneuver, you will be richly rewarded with her new and improved loyalty. Women love to feel sexy, and nothing makes them feel sexier than submitting, at last, to a strong man’s will. When you properly lead, women can’t wait to fall in line and follow. They are wired to follow, but only behind a man worthy of their relinquishment.

The reader above wrote a week later with an update:

Gentlemen…same guy that submitted about the ankle tat yesterday.

My gf recently discovered the ability of a hot girl to get lots of followers and instant positive reaction from twitter trolls. [ed: trouble brewing.] So this has sucked up a lot of her time over the past couple weeks, and she’ll post flirty pictures and what not. She’s got nearly 600 followers already and probably about 1700 tweets in the last 3 weeks that she’s put out. I’m on twitter as well and following her and vice versa and we interact on there as well as via txt/phone like we always have. I haven’t seen really anything that’s stepped over the line except one instance where I immediately called her out on it. She retweeted a somewhat suggestive comment a guy had made passively referring to her. She immediately took it down and said she was sorry, she didn’t really think of it that way. She said she just found it funny so she retweeted it.

She does interact with other guys on there, and I have indicated that I will not tolerate any sort of flirting with other guys. She offered to take it down last week when we were fighting about all of this, but I get the feeling the offer was simply a trap. I told her I wasn’t telling her to take it down, but that I was not going to allow twitter to be taking my place. My gut feeling on all of this isn’t all that great. I’m away for work until after the election and I only get to see her maybe once a week if we’re lucky.

Thoughts on the twitter? I know what’s going on here…she’s never been the girl that all the guys wanted, [ed: was she an ugly duckling as a child?] and now this lets her soak up all the instant compliments and such. I realize that it’s simply her feeding her desire for validation, but I need to keep it under control. Thoughts?

Be careful. Your girlfriend is transmogrifying into an attention whore right before your eyes. 600 Twit followers from posting salacious pics of herself. Yes, women have so much to contribute to civilization; namely, they passively motivate men to do the heavy lifting. Your GF’s confessed desire for a tattoo was an early warning signal. Twitter is like a gateway drug to evermore dangerous attention whoring highs. The progression usually starts off slowly, and culminates in a raging runaway ego:

Infancy ==> if she’s a cute baby, adults will stare at her longer
Toddlerhood ==> all her antics are “adorable”. uglier toddlers get chastised.
Grade school ==> a constant stream of self-esteem boosting messages from parents, teachers and media begin the malignant growth of her ego.
Social media ==> she has entered the world of sexting, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. there’s no turning back now.
High school ==> one “innocent” flirty pic of her in a bikini results in 2,314 likes from men of all ages around the country. she savors her power.
College (or working class service jobs) ==> the tables begin to turn, due to the unfavorable sex ratio and the world of ruthlessly aloof cads who are wise enough to not feed her ego. but it’s a short bump along her highway of hubris.
SWPLland! ==> the working world brings her in contact with hordes of undersexed, overcomplimenting beta herbs. the few alpha males shine like diamonds in this rough. she at once gets her ego fed and her tingles satiated.
Alpha male overdose ==> fifty years later, she will remember this one week romance she had with the man who never replied to her texts, except to say “gay”, and who gave her a bag of Skittles as a gift. the Skittles are now moldy, still cherished. she is ruined for all beta males. her ego has exploded.
Bars/nightclubs/scenes ==> not one of her drunken sexpot poses or phony smiles goes unphotographed or unreported for public consumption. beta males virtually hoist her above their heads, like an Egyptian queen. by now, her ego has metastasized into terminal cancer of the soul. deeply diseased women will experience shortness of breath when no one is taking their picture. bar dancing whores will strategically go commando on nights out.
Working world ==> “I don’t even need a man to pay for my shoes!”
Adulthood ==> historically, age 18 ushered adulthood, but times have changed. 30 is the new grown-up. her looks are beginning to show signs of the remorseless fade, but years of accumulated beta male sycophancy have gifted her with an ego able to weather a storm of self-doubt for years past her sell-by date.
Withdrawal ==> whether or not she has managed to land a beta sucker for marriage, she begins to experience withdrawal symptoms from coming off her attention drug. no more likes on FB. Twit pics garner 10 followers instead of 600. her “you go girl” chorus consists of mostly flabby, cat-owning hausfraus. blog commenters mock her thumbnail avatar. even the tattoo artist suggests she get a more tasteful tat on a “smoother” part of her body.
Lashing out ==> the beta hubby, because of his proximity and inborn weakness, suffers the brunt of her bitter spite. she will open her legs for random jerks who can’t be bothered to learn her name. she will nag her husband or BF until he is pulling his pud to gloomy, late-night porn while she sleeps. if he’s lucky, divorce or a break-up will relieve him of his indentured servitude.
Children ==> she will live vicariously through her daughter, enrolling her in creepy kiddie beauty pageants, or, if she’s higher class, seducing her daughter’s horny boyfriends away from her. the drastic shrinking of her desensitized ego will render her a bitchy malcontent, unable to feel pride in any personal achievement, and needing to latch onto others for internal validation.
Ego death ==> arrives twenty years after sexual prime death. decades of self-delusion have taken their toll. she is a shell entity.

Good reader, this is your future if you do not take steps to redirect her away from the siren song of social media aka digital stripper pole. Your gut feeling is correct; it’s a bad sign for your relationship that she’s passively flirting with men on Twitter, no matter how insistently she protests it’s all innocent fun.

Maxim #41: It’s never innocent fun.

If you’re in a solid relationship with a girl who loves you and values you, external validation through social media will never become an issue. She will use Twitter and Facebook to keep in touch with her social circle, and privatize her accounts so random men can’t find her and comment on her photos or daily musings. That is a normal, healthy female response to the lure of social media status whoring. A woman in love is validated by her lover, not by cloying flattery from hard-up strangers.

My friend, between the tattoo and the Twitter whoring, you are getting red flags flapping in a stiff wind over your head. She is constitutionally incapable of finding self-worth without propping herself on a fiber optically constructed sex stage or marking her body for the amusement of the gawking masses. Or perhaps she finds you insufficient as a man powerful enough to sway her from the attention whore spotlight. Or it could be both reasons.

Whatever it is, you have to proceed as if what you have with her is far from locked downed. All girls have an innate desire for external validation, as it is the nature of their sex that external characteristics most define their value in the sexual market, which is the one market to rule them all. But the degree to which women desire this external ego stroking varies by woman, based on variables like psychological predisposition, beauty, family history and being in love. The ideal woman is a pretty girl who got lots of affection *and* character-building discipline from her father, and who’d rather suffer the vagaries of being in love than play head games to avoid being hurt.

Anyhow, you have already once laid (lain?) down the law with your girlfriend, over her tattoo request. So I don’t see a reason why you can’t put your foot down again and tell her to privatize her online accounts. The danger with laying down the law is that overuse of your authority can create an impression, justified or not, of insecurity: the man who needs to be in control of every facet of his woman’s life is a man who is afraid the tiniest taste of freedom will send her running for the exits.

I respectfully suggest your LTR has some issues that need clarifying. Fifteen months is just about the time when both parties will subconsciously judge the quality of their relationship, and decide to keep at it or find a way out. This is especially so in modern America, a strange time of delayed responsibility and celebrated shamelessness, particularly of women. Furthermore, moving in together tends to hasten and strengthen the internal call for judgment. She is acting out because things have just gotten real.

My advice:

Keep a suspicious eye on her. Flirt with other girls to remind yourself you have options should the worst happen and your girlfriend cheats or hints at breaking up. Tell her public tweeting is out; if she really loves you, she’ll gladly accept the imposition on her crass desires. Remind her it’s for her own good over the long-term, and that other girls you have dated had no need to whore on Twitter. At last, begin to instill some dread in your relationship; this is how you will simultaneously test for her faithfulness and fullness of heart, and draw her away from the temptation of external validation. I’d offer you good luck, but I think that even if you “win” this round with her, the future prognosis doesn’t look promising. She’s on the upswing of venturing forth into attention whore land, and it’s hard to bring a girl back down to earth when she’s already catapulting into lookatme orbit.





Comments


  1. Yeah, prognosis looks bad here. Keep her around for the sex, but I’d be investing time in lining up a replacement.

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  2. There’s another danger of the internet validation whore…the facebook fatty pose. The FFP is carefully cropped picture designed to highlight her charms while avoiding her FUPA, fat ass, cankles, etc. I’ve seen chubsters with great selective photogenecy amass the K’s of followers while obliviously letting themselves go further and further out to pasture.

    So, (beta) buyer beware.

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  3. Hope she leaves the poster, or he leaves her. Yuck, what an ass.

    If a man starts talking to me like he is in charge of both our lives and makes “rules” on his own, I tend to see that as a red flag, that he is a controlling person and I know to stay away from him.

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    • I know, right?? You should have complete freedom to show your T&A to strangers on social media. Does he think he has exclusive access to them or something?

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      • Certainly, she has the “freedom” to show her T&A to anyone, and everyone, she wants. Her behavior, however, indicates that she has no character, no internal self worth, and does not value her BF. She’s fine to pump, but NOT move in wiht and consume HIS resources (time and money), when there are better quality women he might invest in. (Sounds like he’s trying to be grown up Man (good for him), but struggles with his p*ssy dependency of her). Commandment #16. Never Be Afraid to Lose Her. She is violating his integrity with her antics. He must be prepared to walk away. (Really, he should just dump her now and be done with it.)

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      • Only ones on actions indicate their integrity. His putting up with her actions is what hurts his integrity not her actions. The twitter thing is petty. His self esteem and confidence must be low if he thinks she’ll leave him for some random twitter guy she thinks is pathetic/ funny.

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      • Lol you are no wingwoman, and you did not understand this post in one bit.

        It’s not abandonment by a loser twitter follower, it’s a symptom of a problem.

        She is increasingly needed to be validated, online and offline, and it forbodes that one day she will need to be validated by getting her holes stuffed by some random alpha.

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      • Um. No. HER “self esteem must be low” if she crave the attention of pathetic/funny strangers on twitter.
        But you go right ahead and blame him for his reaction to HER slutty, shallow, insecure behavior. His reaction is not insecurity; he is staring straight at a big fat red flag, and it has occurred to him that it might mean something. That’s rather smart of him, because it does mean something. It means she’s not LTR material. I’m sorry if that’s not obvious to you.

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      • Ajesus, shut up you fuckin slut

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      • At firrst, I truly could not believe how oblivious women were to oncoming sex brewing with new partners. It seemd not possible to be so unaware, but I learned otherwise. For example, “He’s just a friend” = often means she’s gonna fuck him — she just doesn’t realize it yet.

        Tats and too much twitter are along these lines.

        Dude, if Twitter and tats smell like something’s rotten in the woodpile to you, just walk. Don’t look back. No apologies. You likely will get no validation from this babe. It may be that she honestly cannot give it, because she doesn’t see what you see, because she isn’t as astute as you are. Good chance she’ll think you are controlling asshole. So be it.

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      • Doesn’t he get that high standards and ‘not settling’ are for women only?

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    • Five bucks says blah has a tramp stamp.

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    • After a few months of push-pull, comfort building, multiple spine-shattering orgasms and alpha aloofness, you won’t find it hard to submit to a strong man if he lays down his law.

      You sound like you need to ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶l̶a̶i̶d̶ be loved… by an alpha.

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    • And I guess this comment is you staying away from all the controlling guys eh?

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    • You say you don’t want to be led. You may even believe it. You’re wrong.

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    • You only see that as a red flag because that’s what your feminist sisters tell you to think.

      I bet one of your traits you want in a guy is to take charge and be a leader. Leaders have to set and stick to rules for your and their benefits.

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    • What a foolish additude. Wouldn’t you want a boyfriend or husband who cares enough about you to try and stop you from doing dumb shit? What’s the point of even being that close to someone if they can’t call you on your bullshit when the need arises?

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    • Blah, you are the poster girl for dumb scrunt. Women are constantly either doing or thinking of doing the dumbest shit. Once upon a time, men were able to tell them No. Women need a man to tell them to stop being impulsive children. If it’s not your father, little girl, who will it be?

      My God, women are idiots! It often works to our advantage, but they are seldom worth the effort of so much maintenance. I doubt your are, blah.

      Liked by 1 person


      • I see Bechtloff beat me to the punch with the “women do the dumbest shit” riff. So, take it to heart Blah. Laser off that tatoo, take out the nose ring, and lose 20lbs.

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      • I’ll take it a step further and say that every once in a while a wife or girlfriend needs to pull her man aside and say “Honey, don’t do that” Usually the man doesn’t need it as much as the woman but still part of a relationship, any relationship, friend, family, romantic relationship whatever is that you are accountable to that person on at least some level. Anyone who takes the additude of ‘Nobody gonna tell me what to do, I do what I want” is very likely to end up very lonely.

        And possibly with a tatoo, a nose ring, and at least 20 extra lbs.

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      • YOU DON’T KNOW ME, I DO WHAT I WON’! — Cartman

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    • Am I the only one who see the irony in the number of responses to this comment?

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    • God forbid a man have standards! Hell.

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    • With this shitload of replies from betas, consider your attention whoring mission completed.

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  4. Chop her. She’s no good as an LTR. (STR, sure. Pump away! But not an LTR). Do NOT move in with this attention whore. She has no honor or self restraint..and ultimately no respect for you. In the end, she will betray you. The writing is on the wall. Heed it’s warning.

    Liked by 1 person


    • Depends how far gone the girl is. Is she just now flicking the lit matches of promiscuous attention whoring? Or has the hypergamous forest fire been allowed to reach conflagration, and we basically have to stand by till it runs out of fuel (age 30-40)?

      So much of a girl’s destiny is already baked in the pie by the time the slice gets to us — unless you’re uh hanging out (in his doc martens) at the junior high swim meet (in just his doc martens).

      I mean, you can invest heavily in a course correction for a soon-to-be-lost girl, but I don’t get the sense there are many of those investors reading this site. She is either disposed by her upbringing to disciplining herself with the aid of male command, or she is an “independent woman” with inane fantasies of liberation, conditioned from birth to react self-destructively to the very idea of male command.

      What is her vibe? Is there a glimmer of understanding when you bring the proverbial belt to her bottom? Or has punishment merely devolved into a kink to her, as a late-stage reaction to the deficiencies of her childhood? Not all women are destined to be whores. In the absence of our leadership they are. In the absence of any male leadership as a child, they’re more than halfway gone by the time she crosses your path.

      This site presumes the worst in women, and that is not a bad policy all things considered. Women can tame the hypergamous beast if trained early, but it gets exponentially harder with every passing day she is exposed to the social media panopticon and the suicidally misleading feminist doctrine.

      The more hardened an attention whore is, the more totalitarian you have to be in response, because her dad is a beta bitch who didn’t do the minimal job of a father. Bitch has slipped the chain. So you are stuck with conducting a crash course in remedial house-training on a feral animal. It’s not that this remediation cannot work. It simply costs a man too much to do it in the face of cultural headwinds.

      I don’t see any alternative to extreme, blunt measures or ruthlessly going dark. If she has been raised with even an ounce of virtue, she will remember your harsh measures as the tough love she needed, but probably too late to redeem her.

      At the same time, give the experiment room to succeed, especially with the youngest ones. They aren’t as jaded and corrupt by the sexual beatdown yet. One day a generation coming-of-age will surprise us all, and feminism won’t even be a memory for them, much less a guide to the ruination of the vagina.

      Matt

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  5. Dear God! DON”T let her move in until she grows up and proves that she is immune to flattery from random strangers. Until she proves that she’s immune to the stupidity of her friends.

    Like most women, I think she wants to follow a leader but she’s still far too tempted by the possibility that maybe she has better options. Back away and offer to let her discover how limited those options really are. If she’s READY to follow, she won’t hesitate to forego the fun and the flattery. If she hesitates, she’s a bad bet unless you’re willing to continuously dial up your game throughout your entire l relationship. High maintenance. Don’t invest in this girl until you KNOW she’s worth it.

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  6. @blah,
    What you call “controlling,” some of us call “maintaining high standards.” He SHOULD have high standards; if she wants no part of it, she can hit the road. The world is full of weak men who have no standards.

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  7. You have the right to set standards. They should be clear and fair, as opposed to something she can counter with in her own misguided way.

    If you state these standards early on, and stick to them, you won’t have to keep banging your head against the wall trying to get her to see your way.

    Just be consistent and resolute.

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    • What’s up with these guys who want to put their pimp hand down? Pimps are the masters of laying down the law to chicks. But guess what? The chicks are still whores.

      Matter of fact, let’s let the pretty lie perish. They are all whores.

      The title of this article, “Laying Down the Law to Attention Whores”, could be shortened by removing “Attention”.

      A pimp keeps chicks around because he wants money. A boyfriend [chump] wants to keep a girlfriend [slut] around because of what? He wants love? Get a dog. He wants sex? Get a professional.

      These boyfriends need to figure out WHY they want to keep these whores around and act with that goal in mind.

      A chick who wants a tat just because her besty wants one? Her standards seem pretty pliable to me. I’ll wonder what she’ll do when her besty wants to take a guy home but his friend needs to be occupied. A chick who spends her time flirting online? I wonder what she’ll do when she gets real life attention.

      Liked by 1 person


  8. Mene, mene, tekel upharsin.

    On a side note: especially good turns of phrase in this one, heartmeister.

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    • Agreed, though “pulling his pud” would have been better described by “cuffing his carrot”. The former is too clinical, while the latter is something all men can laugh at themselves over.

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    • I’ve just pasted them all into a single file called: ‘Exact Script to Follow With Cunts’.

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  9. For the twitter whore. Tell her ONCE that you dissaprove and if she cares she will stop.

    Continue pumping her as usual whilst either spinning plates or looking for an immediate replacement in waiting.

    If she’s a good girl.. all is well and life moves on.

    She whores again, simply delete her number and move on. When she comes chasing after you asking why you don’t return calls and stuff.. remind her you only ever ask for anything once. She failed to heed your warning.

    Action/consequence. Cause/effect.

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  10. Walk away. Online flirting leads to real-life fucking. Seen it happen to too many people, even back in the day in chat rooms. Now it’s worse. The tattoo-with-friend thing was a dead giveaway — that’s a neon sign for low self-esteem — and now it’s validation from anonymous strangers?

    Line up a replacement, and dump Miss Flirty-Dirty.

    Liked by 1 person


    • I agree that this girl i probably a lost cause, but I also see some blame and avoidance of responsibility from the OP. He says he can only see her ONCE A WEEK? How’s a hot horny man OR woman supposed to tolerate that kind of fuck you? If you want to see someone once a week you obviously don’t love them or are just a cold fish.

      Liked by 1 person


  11. My wife wanted to get a tat back in the day. I put my foot down, and the whimsical idea eventually left her. Level-headed patriarchal veto power to control the whims of women and children were once commonplace.

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  12. I laughed my ass off the whole post.

    You should submit this to cracked.

    It”s funny because it’s true.

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  13. “Alpha male overdose ==> fifty years later, she will remember this one week romance she had with the man who never replied to her texts, except to say “gay”, and who gave her a bag of Skittles as a gift.”

    Still laughing. Well done, sir. And that sums up neatly why Western Civ is beyond fucked.

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  14. But tattoos are also kind of sexy, especially small ones in dainty, hidden places, like the ankle or hip………………

    Clearly you’ve never been to a water-park in the mid-west.

    Liked by 1 person


  15. Yeah, I have to mark her firmly as STR material – preferably one that you call when you want her to come over for a quick one. She has too many red-flags for anything more…

    Do not let her move in… That is a major mistake just prolonging the inevitable. You need to be consistent, far easier to keep her off of such things as Twitter than try to act as monitor – that is too much effort and time on your part. She should be making the effort – not you… If you let her set the agenda you are on your way to the trash-heap of relationships. Better to set the rules in stone – if she doesn’t want to obey, show her the door and don’t let her weasel her way out of it.

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  16. No need to directly call her out on the behavior. As the author said, you run the risk of coming off as controlling and worse, whiny by repeatedly clamping down directly.

    I’d find a way to indirectly bring up that you are having second thoughts about moving in together. When she asks why, riff on her seeming to have ‘changed’ and segue into the recent Twitter attention whoring.

    This is obviously not a multiple-use tactic so it should be a serious conversation about your intentions – i.e. you really should be having second thoughts. If this is not a behavior modifier you will have larger problems.

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  17. What I would personally do is slowly show a growing lack of interest for her. Instead of angry, I’d look disappointed at her attention whoring and cancel plans for moving together, since you “need your space” and “I guess it was a rushed decision”. Say “you didn’t know that side of her” and take a vacation alone to somewhere incredibly cool with some friends. Be prepared to return a single and newly free man, but this could also signal to her that you’re not dependent and are not attracted to slutty behavior, making her rethink her actions.

    Liked by 1 person


    • I think this is the best course of action.

      1) instills dread
      2) doesn’t use an ultimatum
      3) isn’t overtly dramatic but covertly dramatic which seems better way to communicate. Women love to think they are connecting the dots.
      4) and it starts laying the foundation for your exit. If she’s gone then its a win win.

      Liked by 1 person


    • The problem is, how do they know it’s because of something they did, or would they even notice? Like, it could be because you’re busy or something. Girls I interact with a lot tend to not even notice this kind of thing. Maybe their interest wasn’t high enough.

      Liked by 1 person


  18. Allow me to translate the OP: “Thing are going pretty good but she keeps testing my authority with stupid shit. It’s cool though, we’re going to move in together so that she doesn’t have to worry about me Next’ing her or fucking other girls or basically have any worry whatsoever that I’ll leave her. Voluntarily giving away all my Hand will definitely help me lay down the law in the future. I mean shit, I should just marry her so I’m legally required to give all the Hand to her, that’s an even better idea!!”

    You ever watch Dog Whisperer? You ever see Caeser talk about how you don’t reward the dog with attention and petting while it’s barking at the door, you wait until it’s settled down before rewarding it? Do you know WHY he advises not rewarding a dog that’s still in a state where it’s acting out?

    …cause you’re gonna find out the hard way lol

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  19. I don’t know how old you or your girlfriend are, but it sounds as if she’s not ready for a live-in relationship. Even if she changes her ways and toes the line, she probably has some deeper personality issues that will continue to plague the relationship. VERY, VERY FEW women are worth living with, so choose wisely.

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    • Amen!

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    • Don’t let any girl move in until you’re married to her. Full stop.

      BT
      NNNN

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      • Bingo….

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      • Five stars. There used to be a story about free milk and buying a cow. If you have a woman move in with you without the commitment of marriage your opening a can of worms. Many states have laws where she can be considered a common law wife after a specified length of time. Not married? Doubt you got a pre-nup. But sure as you know what, any state where there is a “common law” wife clause, your going to get reamed out at least as bad as a married guy without a pre-nup. My guess is even worse. The milk is free if your not stabling the cow, but possibly incredibly expensive if you haven’t bought her and are stabling her.

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    • on September 29, 2012 at 5:30 am gunslingergregi

      yea movin in what is the common law marriage time in your state again?
      you better test her more than some fucking say no to twitter or tatoo shit and the only tattoo she should get is your name on her ass saying you own it

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  20. I thought ultimatums were a sign of weakness? There must be a subtle line I’m not getting here. From my experience, you show what you want but you have to be careful not to come of as insecure.

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    • Not if you mean it.

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    • What ultimatum? He simply tells her to stop/I don’t like what you’re doing. When she doesn’t comply, or goes ape, she simply chops her. No drama. No ultimatum. Communication/Fact/Action.

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      • Sorry, typo: “What ultimatum? He simply tells her to stop/I don’t like what you’re doing. When she doesn’t comply, or goes ape, HE simply chops her. No drama. No ultimatum. Communication/Fact/Action.

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      • Agreed.

        As YaReally notes, the OP is in the middle of the positive reinforcement trap.

        This is obvious oneitis. He has forgotten the law of the Fungibility of Cunt. There are other one-hundred pound 8’s in this world. So, he’s either too hooked on banging this one to let go, or isn’t absolutely confident that he can find another.

        Thing is, if he were to dump this one cold after she failed the patriarchal veto, he’d be giving himself positive reinforcement for the next conquest. Banging an 8 is great, but dumping one is divine.

        Like


      • You don’t understand, guys…this one is SPECIAL!!

        Of course she is lol

        Like


      • on October 1, 2012 at 1:00 pm gunslingergregi

        sometimes they really are special

        Like


    • Ultimatums are only a weakness in two situations, 1) You use them too often, 2) You give one and them cave under pressure.

      Like


  21. Re: social/genetic misfits.

    I think that’s why shows like sex and the city and West Wing exist, to make them feel pretty by being associated with their lifestyle choices.

    Like


  22. You’re already coming up on the cliff, so drastic measures are required.

    First off, drop her from all your social network feeds without saying a word to her before or after. If she even notices, tell her that all of that stuff is a) running my phone battery down b) becoming a distraction (of course, reframe if she asks if you deleted everyone) c) heard that all that time on phone could cause cancer. If she never asks you, if could be that she doesn’t give a damn and you’re a halved the distance to the cliff.

    Simultaneously, begin cancelling and withdrawing from her for seemingly legitimate reasons. Have to work late, get a new liver this weekend, or even the “old friend” is coming in and we’re going to catch up. Start slow and judge reaction. If she doesn’t give a damn, you’re closer to the cliff than you think.

    That’s the point you need to make a decision, you going to be the breaker or breakee, or the beta schlub?

    Liked by 1 person


  23. Yeah, I think he should go for dread game. If she’s a “look at me” type, she is most certainly enjoying the attention of beta orbiters, and she is not really in love with the poster (at least, not MADLY in love with him) because otherwise she would get bored with posting pics.

    Liked by 1 person


  24. Going a bit further here, I’m going to say something I may live to regret, to the letter-writer:
    You read advice here, and if you’re like most men you think, “Yeah the principles are logical, but Heartise can get away with taking them to the extreme because he’s practically a deity. Guys like me, we should be more cautious and modify out approach, just to be safe.”

    Take. The principles. To heart.

    BS shaming crap like blah’s comment? You’ll get tons of that and sometimes you’ll wonder if there’s a grain of truth in it. There’s not, especially if you do it right,from the beginning. You’re NOT trying to control her, you’re controlling yourself, your life, by deciding what you will and won’t tolerate in a woman who wants you to share your resources with her. If she knows up front that you expect absolute loyalty from any woman who asks to live in your home, commandeer your closets, and use up all your hot water, it’s HER choice whether or not she wants to engage in that transaction.
    That’s the exact opposite of controlling her; it’s giving her control, letting her make her own decision.

    If she needs approval from other men and from her slutty friends, she doesn’t get YOUR approval. She has to decide which is more important to her.

    Keep your price high; if a shallow hot chick is asking for what you have to offer, you can bet there’s a line around the block, of other women who want it too. They might not be as hot, but they might also not be as shallow. Sleep with all the shallow ones you want, but don’t give them anything resembling a commitment, and sharing your home is a form of commitment.

    Like


  25. Droppin’ some PUA Knowledge Bombs on y’all about Next’ing and handling disobedience:

    The super in-depth guide:
    http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.php?5492-How-To-Soft-Next-Step-by-step-instructions-and-answers-to-questions

    http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.php?2929-How-to-have-a-100-DRAMA-FREE-Relationship&p=25144&viewfull=1#post25144

    http://puarticles.blogspot.ca/2008/01/relationship-rules.html?m=0

    http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.php?3451-Textbook-clean-LTSNFE

    We have a shit-load more about this stuff but the forum that had most of it has been deactivated and I’m too lazy to dig it up right now. This’ll get you started on managing relationships the PUA way.

    Like


    • Good looks dude.

      Btw I started reading the Mystery Method Collaberation you posted a couple weeks back. It’s solid. Funny to see TD and crew during PUs infancy. I’m 100 pages thru and appreciate the AMOG section. It gives you the tools to not feel scared of being punked in a social setting.

      Keep up the knowledge flow at least one person is using it, absorbing it and putting it to practice.

      -IG

      Like


      • Glad you’re getting good use out of it. Those were really some epic days back then. Everything was a new revelation and we were psyched to go out and try this stuff out. Now there’s more of a complacency feeling because its like “okay we know pretty much everything now, here’s the routine trainin guide, follow this and you’re on your way”. There’s still discoveries and simplifying and making things more efficient and linking the background logic between concepts together and all that but it’s not the same as like “holy shit guys if you insult a girl she wants to bang you wtf is this sorcery I’ve discovered???”

        Befriending is the best AMOG tech but depending on where you game, what kind of crowd you’re gaming in, and what level of girls you’re gaming it can be necessary to break out some more ruthless stuff. Read the Boyfriend Destroying tech, it fits the AMOG’ing and you can use it with her on guys who aren’t the girl’s boyfriend but are trying to pick her up.

        Like


    • Damn good resources. Bookmarked.

      Like


    • Much appreciated.

      Like


  26. A few years back I had an extended “affair” with a married woman I met on Adultfriendfinder. She blew me. Then would come over, we’d have dinner and I’d spank her until she came. Once in a while she would bring up hubby and I would reframe. He was shaging other girls or something. The point is that when she started thinking she was my “girlfriend” and got “jealous” of me being with other girls, she disappeared.

    It’s never innocent..

    Like


  27. Hack into her Twitter account then Tweet a pic of you teabagging her while she’s asleep.

    Like


  28. I agree with the tattoo thing. One or two small discrete can be sexy. But girls with shitloads of tatoos is gross.

    I prefer no tattoos though. Seeing an otherwise attractive girl with tattoos is like seeing a beautiful peice of architecture covered in graffiti.

    Like


  29. Love, love, love the timeline. It’s all so true.

    I’m worried about rising levels of narcissism. In the past, it’s been typically highest among adolescents, but as adolescence has extended, so has the narcissism. Financially, emotionally, psychologically — yes, 30 really is the new 18.

    Dr. Drew (the guy from Celebrity Rehab) published a book on narcissism that is fairly eye-opening. There’s even a narcissism quiz in the back.

    http://www.amazon.com/The-Mirror-Effect-Endangering-Families–/dp/B004LQ0HSE/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1348861737&sr=8-2&keywords=drew+pinsky

    Like


  30. O/T: speaking of “betas” and wimmin in high-powered (cough) careers – the clowns at VentureBeat are all over bimbos in Silicon Valley:

    http://venturebeat.com/2012/09/28/women-to-watch/

    In their defense, the guys who write there are nowhere near as bad as TechCrunch or Mashable. Those “reporters” can barely put a sentence together.

    Like


  31. Ex wife was a perfect example of never letting your girl post pictures of ANY kind that show off plenty of skin or boobs. Started with some innocent enough modeling pics but soon devolved quickly into swimsuits and all kinds of desiring the attenion of men. Had I known ANYTHING about Game I might have been able to save the marriage but unfortunately it wasn’t until the divorce did I look to see what went wrong. DO NOT let your woman seek attention because it’s like a drug. As soon as that stuff goes on Facebook or the Internet she’ll get more and more into it and she won’t care whether you’re attracted or not. I’d say this girl is getting a large hankering for that attention and he needs to stop rationalizing what she’s already doing and stop the behavior NOW or he’s gonna end up on the wrong side of this and soon.

    Like


    • DO NOT let your woman seek attention because it’s like a drug.

      I’ve often heard that as a reason why movie/theatre people never seem to be able to have LTRs. Makes sense.

      Like


  32. “deeply diseased women will experience shortness of breath when no one is taking their picture” LOL

    If your relationship matters to her, she’ll shut it down. Just make sure you “reward” her for it, or she’ll feel like she sacrificed something for nothing.

    Like


    • on September 28, 2012 at 5:04 pm Holden Caulfield

      that’s right guys, remember: she sacrificed something (attention from randoms) for nothing (her relationship).

      Like


      • I was thinking that too… but I didn’t say anything, because I hate it when Kate tells on herself.

        Like


      • Oh, I was assuming he’d break up with her anyway.

        Like


      • The id finds a way.

        /apologies to Jurassic Park

        Like


      • She sacrificed social interaction for your fragile flower like ego.

        Like


      • She sacrificed social interaction the inflation of her ego for your fragile flower like ego masculine authority, hence a healthy relationship.

        Fixed it for you.

        Like


      • You have no authority over others. It’s not a job or something. Making someone compromise because of ones insecurities is very un-masculine. She was doing it for amusement not attention. She could go shoe shopping instead but she doesn’t. Their is no harm in tweets unless you use them to cause riots.

        You guys like to play games and use” dread” don’t act shocked when karma kicks you in the dick for that bs.

        Like


      • I could eat a bowl of Alpha-Bits and crap a more cogent reply than this.

        Like


      • Go choke on a dick already, noone cares about your ideas of what’s “masculine” and what isn’t.

        Like


      • on September 29, 2012 at 3:33 pm Holden Caulfield

        Greg Eliot for the motherfucking win.

        Like


      • What’s up with your handle? Any man counting you as a wingman, is guaranteed to crash and burn.

        Like


      • Turkeys have wings… perhaps she is from that phylum. Just more foal.

        Like


  33. A good girlfriend won’t make troubles for his man for no reason. It seems to me she’s just trying to piss you off, which for me would require a punishment so she understands not to do it a third time.

    Like


  34. Facebaiting is also a sign of an attention whore. Comes in two forms. The vague status update, “Oh why did this happen to me?” with no response to all the comments. And the girls who constantly post self pictures with no comment at all, literally trolling for betas. They can’t stop either, they are addicted to the smack rush of attention, do you really want to be the guy who has to try to be with an addict out of the gate? PASS.

    Liked by 1 person


  35. So how exactly would you go about laying down the law if they’re resisting? You say “I don’t like it when you do this” and they say “so what” or go on about how they’re allowed to do it. Do you just shrug and go on with your day, or freeze them out and ignore them, or what.

    Like


    • You don’t say, “I don’t like it when you do this.” You say, “This is unacceptable behavior.” You can then explain why it’s unacceptable, but explain only once. If you need to repeat yourself, you’re negotiating and signalling that you might back down.

      She can take it or leave it. Her choice.

      And you dump any girl whose attitude about your principles is “so what?” loooong before you reach the point of giving ultimatums. She isn’t worth being given the option to toe the line and stay. She goes.

      Like


      • I thought giving an ultimatum for things was considered to be a show of weakness though. Like “I know you won’t listen to me normally so I have to resort to this.” I dunno though.

        Like


      • It is if you aren’t capable of following through.

        Like


    • You choose females who suit you to begin with. Why would you want to annoy yourself by always having to correct the girl. That’s work and is simply not worth it. I simply will not bother with any female who needs to talk on the phone and I was that way long before any of these girls knew what a cell was and there were only landlines.It’s really only since 2000 that this cell phone nonsense has taken off. I had a cell in 1991 and it was a fairly small flip phone but only rare people had them then esp. when they cost $1k and minutes were expensive.No blabbing female proles 🙂

      Like


      • “No blabbing female proles” Now THAT’s the spirit. Bitch should be practicing her violin, cooking, doing SOMETHING besides whoring. Facewhoring/Twitter is like a pathetic attempt at having your own reality TV show, when even the real ones are loathsome.

        Like


    • Read the shit I linked.

      All this stuff has already been mapped out step by step by the PUA community. The info is just sitting there for anyone to read and learn it lol

      Like


  36. I have seen this happen too many times and the progression you described could hardly be closer to the truth.

    It’s easy to blame a man’s game for what is happening-

    “You’re game sucks she doesn’t want to be with you!” “You’re turning into a beta!” blah blah blah

    That shit’s false.

    For real, when a lot of these girls, especially those who didn’t grow up with a lot of attention, discover the true power of social media they start free-basing it off twitter and increasingly scandalous behavior on facebook. It is truly a drug.

    I have seen relationships of oaken constitution crumble like sand in the onslaught. I have seen some of the most alpha of alphas lose their hottie to the beckoning needle of twitter and instagram. There was nothing wrong with their game, these guys literally did nothing wrong at all. They were just thrown aside like hapless Indonesians in the tidal wave of attention their girl discovered she could get from faceless armies of chumps over teh interwebz.

    The thing is, there are few measures short of outright tyranny from preventing this. You have been undermined. She chased the dragon once, and if the effect was as powerful as it is for most of them, she’ll find ways. If you put your boot down once and she doesn’t comply, get the fuck out, because you have lost. She is lost.

    Like


  37. The underlying problem here is whether or not a leopard can change its spots.

    If the thoughts to do these things appear at all, is there truly a way to correct her once and for all?

    Or would a man be doomed to constant vigilance, or at least until her SMV (real or imagined) decreases… which, in this day and age of beta-a-plenty, could be a long time.

    Liked by 1 person


  38. A little bit dated (from a couple months ago), but here’s an example of an alpha dad:

    http://www.uselesshumor.com/2011/07/funny-kids-drawing-go-dad.html

    Like


  39. I think this girl erroneously thinks that because of all the attention she is getting from men she can get another BF should you two break up. Her confidence is up big time. She gets lots of compliments form men, which always creates EUPHORIA in the woman’s mind, and that has a way of screwing up her reasoning abilities. That’s why she is playing with fire right now, looking to see how far she can push the envelope (no brainer there). All you have to do is turn the tables on her and start getting some attention from other women and/or Game her, then watch her crawling on all 4s to satisfy you.

    Liked by 1 person


  40. You want to see what a woman loves…look at what happens when there’s a camera in the area.

    I used to work for a news station and had to report stories…most people treated the camera I took for stories like I had a gun (beta men, fatties, uggos). You get a beautiful woman for a story and that camera was like catnip for me.

    And this goes wayyyyyy back for them. One of my friends on facebook post pictures of his 4 year old daughter and she’s posing for the thing.

    Like


  41. on September 28, 2012 at 6:35 pm 3rd Millenium Men

    One of your best posts in months Heartiste. “even the tattoo artist suggests she get a more tasteful tat on a “smoother” part of her body” hahaha gold. Awesome overview of the state of cock carousel women.

    Like


  42. […] Heartiste responded to a reader seeking help with a girlfriend circling the attention whore drain en route to the […]

    Like


  43. You’ve known her for 15 months and she doesn’t know you dislike tatoos?
    And what’s with this Twitter crap? In fact, there’s no need for her to even have a distracting cell phone. There’s no need for the average moron to have to always be connected and gossiping and anything in their useless lives can wait. Only important people need cells like surgeons who need to be called to the operating room or the president of a country. A cell to the proles is just another annoying toy.

    Like


    • If I’m correct he said he “can only see her once a week.” There’s a LOT Of problems with this, but facewhoring is still a nightmare.

      Like


  44. on September 28, 2012 at 9:04 pm Always Be Fucking

    She is not ltr material. No matter how hot you think she is. LTRs are not allowed to “lash out”.
    They can only sulk or cry. Any other reactions , they fall into non-gf, non-ltr category.
    Also, so much attention whoring in front of your eyes, without even trying to hide is disrespectful. Make it crystal clear what you expect.

    Like


    • I’ve heard anecdotal reports that many areas of CA are being “ethnically cleansed” of blacks by latinos.

      I have mixed feelings about it… sort of like watching your mother-in-law drive off a cliff in your new car.

      What was that trailer for Alien vs. Predator? “Whoever wins, we lose.”

      Like


    • LOL, majority of comments are crimethinkful. Favorite so far:

      I’m game for some pograms, especially against the hooked nosed types pushing this bs multiculturism in America

      Like


      • That poor Jew-hating dolt can’t even spell “pogrom.”

        Like


      • Oh no, a white man who understands Jew-Gentile relations misspelled a word!

        I guess this means Jews are good for us, have our best interests at heart! Man, I love lax standards of proof and disproof.

        Like


      • Hey, I wonder how many Hungarians killed by the Bela Kuhn government or Ukrainians killed by Kaganovich in the Holodomor knew how to spell “dictatorship of the proletariat”??

        Do you think all the brown immigrants let in by the (J) Celler-Hart Imm. and Nat. Act of 1965 can spell “race-replacement” properly? I think this ought to be a requirement for obtaining H-1A, H-2A, and H-1B visas!!!

        omg lolzlzlz i luv moral equivialalnency gamemxzz lzlzopzozzozozozooz

        Like


  45. Fake alpha. I mean, imma fake alpha. For shame.

    Like


  46. George Ivanovich Gurdjieff was a half Armenian huckster who went about eagerly selling commercial grade mysticism all around the world about a 100 years ago . He got more action when he was working in tandem with Mr. Ouspensky(The G.O, Movement.)
    Like a lot of smart con artists he possesed some deep insights. One of which was that ending up with what most people would call a “Soul” is pretty unlikely if a person mindlessly followed the modern path of looking into mirrors of social construction to get intoxicating doses and dirty affirmations of the kind of bullshit one needs for all of your soliptical self framed orgasms. In other words, if there is ever to be anything about you that can hold together as a spirit, soul, whatever, thru a transition, there must be something about the spirit or soul that has enough residual coherence, integrity, and honest self recognition – to cope with the fires of Hell. At least for a while.
    In other words, too much time on twitter, much less FB, turns their souls to mush that will desolve into melted chaos long before getting past 40 years old, much less making it to the other side.

    Like


  47. Yeah, but what’s the racial angle to all this?

    Like


  48. A woman in love doesn’t buy ketchup without consulting her man.

    Just the fact that a woman “decides” to do something without considering you means prognosis is grim. Even if she gives in for the moment, it does not mean anything has changed. This is a bad investment. You should be spinning plates.

    Needless to say never let such a woman move in.

    Regarding the possibility of her cheating when you are out of town, as they say “If there’s any doubt, there’s no doubt”.

    Liked by 1 person


  49. on September 29, 2012 at 7:33 am gunslingergregi

    really though when shit hits fan it is nice to have backup chicks allready there that give a fuck and a woman you allready been through hell with. Why dudes getting so fucked up with one chick especially if she one of the ones they got to much power over you. too cute that the chick was fallin asleep cleaning my house. But i got this other chick on my phone trying to make me feel better another one coming to hotel after work. Helps to have a support group. Woman usually got that shit men need it to.

    Like


  50. ***A woman in love won’t dare buy ketchup without consulting her man.*** Pulling the tattoo stunt while he is away is disgusting. Dump her since she showing her ass while the BF is away AT WORK.

    Did the women of thousands of years ago dare leave their man while he was at battle? I don’t think so.

    Liked by 1 person


  51. This relationship is already over. She has provided him with “losing conditions” since he’s screwed if he does nothing and he’s also screwed if he does.

    There is only one move that remains at this point which is to make an “all in” move and break up. It is an action that is bold enough that if she does love him, she might realize the errors of her ways and come back to him with her tail between her legs begging to be taken back. He will then regain massive hand in the relationship and the relationship may have a chance again.

    If she doesn’t come back, it’s over as she was clearly not into him enough.
    If she does come back, with the new hand gained, he will need to run a very tight ship letting her know that he will leave her again if necessary, that’s where the instilling dread comes in.

    Essentialy, this relationship does not have a solid base of respect of the woman toward the man. No relationship can survive this. The only way, is to smash and rebuild and even then, the chance of success is low, but better than “negotiating” within the boundaries of the relationship.

    I still believe this girl is not GF material based on what I read but if the writer believes that she is worth it, the above move is what I recommend.

    Like


    • I agree though I wouldn’t do it immediately, string it out for another month or so while you’re getting new prospects lined up.

      Like


    • “Essentialy, this relationship does not have a solid base of respect of the woman toward the man. No relationship can survive this.”

      You beeg genius. Mr Pointyface wisdom nugget approval.

      Like


  52. This girl’s cheating on you, bail now duder.

    I’d bet she;s just a cheap whore who wasn’t worth your time to begin with, but fooled you into thinking investment was worth it.

    Drop her like a bad habit. NOW.

    Like


  53. Look, maybe we need to write this guy off as a loss because he’s already considering having her move in…

    The question is:

    Should a guy live with a woman before marrying her?

    How does this benefit the man?

    Call me old school, but no man should live with a woman he won’t first marry.

    Like


    • You should do neither, stupid, stupid nigger.

      Once you let a woman into your home, you will never own it again.

      Like


    • A lot of guys (and girls) have the idea that first living together will allow them to see if they’re truly compatible before marriage.

      I’m not a big fan of that sort of thing, but it is what it is.

      I would give a few provisos to the man:

      1) Don’t do it if you already own your own house or condo… only under renting situations.

      2) Don’t be fooled… women can put on a pretty good “wifey” act, for years if necessary, to secure the actual legal status. Make sure you keenly observe even the “little things” for red flags… to paraphrase Sondheim, the good things MAY get better, but the bad things ALWAYS get worse.

      Like


      • Women do it to get non-religious men to have one foot in the door for marriage.

        Then, after a few months or few years, they will say “Why not get married? We get a tax break/easier to own property/etc.?” They’ll couch it all in terms of “practicality.” Heh, for them, maybe.

        Never let a woman into your house. You will lose control over it.

        Like


    • It doesn’t benefit either partner. It teaches both of them how to have a non-committed, intimate-but-reserved relationship. This is not the path to a solid marriage.

      Like


  54. I was recently directed to this blog simply to figure out some personal issues and though it seems most of you are younger than me, I am glad I came across this place. I’m recently divorced, half my assets in an unstable position and my daughter not in my care and the woman sending her lover to collect the rest of her stuff. It took me a while to realise that women don’t know what they want. It’s true I mean they don’t! And the girl’s behaviour is indicative of that. The internet has brought us all closer but there are also underlying issues…

    Women thrive on attention and narcissism as the saying goes men are pride and women are vain. In the past it was harder for women because of social decorum, etiquette and the fact that most people weren’t closely linked as now.

    To cut a long story short, I met my now ex-wife through a friend…she was/is fairly beautiful not ugly but not drop dead pretty by any means but I loved her…yes love.
    I worked to provide for her, she said she wanted to be a stay at home mom though she had an alright job as a receptionist. At first I wasn’t sure because I didn’t want her to be bored…well, she wasn’t exactly but she never exactly got the house work done either, she’d cook once a day and leave things sitting around. She then started saying she wanted me to do some of the house chores and that I should invest more in labour saving gadgets…I mean we had a fridge, a microwave and some other stuff…what other labour saving gadgets!!! (I did buy fancy washing machines and some other fancy stuff for her though) But I put my foot down and only chose to change light bulbs, cut the grass and other manly labour…right?
    Well, the woman started spending long hours online, chatting and chatting to God knows who? I’d take her to restaurants and she’d be on her phone. I’d try to talk to her but on the damn phone…or mentally debating what she’ll tell her friends.
    It turned out that she’d met some guy online and was emotionally having an affair because the man sounded like Christian Grey or some other dude, (The heck)…one thing lead to another and her friends weren’t helping. But my spidey senses were tingling (I am glad that is one faculty that men have) and one day I decided to check up on phone…I wish I hadn’t!!!! I wish I hadn’t! Because the woman was planning to meet with the dude but there was no set date. My plan was to call her out and demand what was going on but I was a little too late. I didn’t want to come off as ‘threatened or scared or any other adjective that women use.’
    When the matter eventually came up, through a heated debate cuz she usually wears a certain perfume and then she started wearing another and I didn’t like it, the truth came out and it turned out the woman had already slept with the dude!! She then started crying, claiming she loves me and blah, blah and that the dude ‘seduced’ her and that she wanted me and that she didn’t want to hurt me. (Too late)
    So I decide to leave the house because I just couldn’t. But I did still love her and didn’t want to kick her out. WRONG MOVE!!! Woman invited her lover into MY HOUSE and they started playing house together! I nearly turned violent at that point because this dude is now playing step daddy to my daughter!! The woman then starts saying she loves him and that she wants me to understand, the fuck? And her lover refuses to leave the room because he wants to calm her down and stuff. So I’m like, we’re done. I’m done because I can’t do this then she has the audacity to remind me that we hadn’t signed a prenup and starts guilt tricking me, using the fact that I’m courteous to her friends against me…(I mean what the heck?)
    God this is getting long…but the woman has decided to make my life hell I mean what did I do huh? WHAT? All I did was love these women…okay. I loved her with everything and I know these sounds cheesy…Attention, I gave her that…was it sex? Because I goddamn well continued to perfect my technique and never took her for granted, was it money? Cuz I godamn well worked my butt off to satisfy her whims of shopping and chatting to her friends…Was it sensitivity? Cuz I goddamn well opened up to her as much as I could without giving all the mystery away…I just don’t get it…

    Like


    • Google the phrase “Alpha fucks, Beta bucks.” Be prepared for unpleasant truths stated plainly. Then … learn.

      Do not repeat your mistakes, and you’ll eventually be happier.

      Like


    • Online relationship = fantasy for most people. It’s just porn until they actually meet but a lot don’t. When she was spending all this time online didn’t you ask what she was doing? Sounds like you were emotionally shut off or distant/non responsive and she replaced you.

      All I did was love these women…okay.
      Is english not your first language or did you love multiple woman?

      Liked by 1 person


    • Sorry bro but this is totally your fault.

      I pity the fool…

      You have much to learn welcome to The Chateau. Get your sorry ass over the another great blog called The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi.

      I wish I could say it will get better for you but probably not. You have much to learn

      Like


    • Your story is just so common.

      Most women are worthless for marriage unless there are very strong social and legal controls on their behavior. Those controls don’t exist anymore in this country. Marriage in America is just one big crap shoot for men.

      Cut your losses and try to protect your daughter. As they say, if he likes the mother, he will certainly like the daughter. Consult a lawyer. Consider your ex your enemy, because, she is.

      Like


    • “To cut a long story short,”

      Yeah?

      Like


    • Get the fuck away from that woman dude. You’re already qualifying for beta of the month.

      Letting the lover in and staying there like in some weird cukold fetish scenario?? Jesus fucking christ… You should have initiated divorce the second you discovered she had another man inside her. Fuck her, the house and the kids! Instead you just pulled your pants down for further humiliation.

      Wow man… Actually I shouldn’t call you “man” until you move out of the house, handle the fucking divorce, lock yourself up somewhere and read this blog and game literature non-stop for a couple of months, then get out and seduce a dozen women and use them to empty your newfound balls.

      Until then, you’re just an omega cuckold.
      What’s up, omega cuckold?

      Like


    • on September 30, 2012 at 5:09 am gunslingergregi

      bring the fist down fuck the consequences better to die a man than live a coward. Righteous anger is righteous.

      Like


  55. Ankle tats are trashy but not as bad as calf. The twitter thing is petty. If his relationship is fine he’s being paranoid about random people interacting with his gf. Even if she got rid of the twitter she interacts with people in real life too.
    He needs to work on his insecurities. It should only bother him if it’s affecting their time or quality of time together which doesn’t seem to be the case.

    Mate guarding; you shouldn’t have to do it.
    http://www.google.com/#hl=en&output=search&sclient=psy-ab&q=mate+guarding+in+humans&oq=mate+guarding+in+humans&gs_l=hp.3…0.0.1.4875.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0..0.0.les%3B..0.0…1c.oYI-hQwcSyI&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.&fp=708bd950daecd80b&biw=1034&bih=619

    It’s considered strange not to have social media accounts because people sometimes rightly think you are trying to hide something. As for attention whoring…I’d like hear some criteria. Just posting regular pictures (if one is hot) will seem like attention whoring because of comments received sometimes.

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    • Added to the usual suspect litany of “jealous/bitter/small dick/closet fag”… “you’re just insecure”.

      Woman, read over the posts in this thread in re the “drug” aspect, and then try to post something less inane.

      Like


      • Your brain rewards you for positive social interactions and novelty. Funny you can get that from both men and woman and in platonic ways from eating ice cream etc etc etc. Blah blah blah Are you suggesting men are never insecure paranoid messes? I am saying he’s freaking because she’s hot and people interacting with your hot gf when you feel unworthy is what’s the problem. I used to have a twitter and will say their is no need but I’m sure he does things (flirts, watches porn,etc) that while unappealing or annoying aren’t deal breakers because it has zero effect on the relationship . People have just become super petty. The chick seems to take his feelings into account by explaining she was amused not impressed and listening to good advice about the tat.

        In a relationship you need trust and respect. If for whatever reason (whether it’s one of them both of them or too much of a fundamental mismatch =too much compromise ) those aren’t there then there not should be a relationship. Nobody should always be the one compromising because it breeds resentment over time unless the person is a doormat or saint. Even doormats have been known to grow spines later so that’s not a safe bet.

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      • She is not merely “interacting” with other people. She is inviting them to look at her “hot” self. She’s waving herself around like a banner because she wants men to pay attention to her.
        There are two possible reasons for this (outside of certifiable mental illness.) She’s either a cock tease or she’s looking for a shiny new boyfriend to fuck. If she can swing that while being supported by the BF who travels most of the time, she’ll be sitting pretty, won’t she?
        Do you think ANYONE is buying your there-must-be-something-wrong-with-him shtick? You’re deluded and full of shit.

        Liked by 1 person


      • 1- You’re a verbose little cunt and need to go away.

        2- I speculated above that he may be uncertain of his ability to score another hot girlfriend, which may explain why he doesn’t follow the writing on the wall with his current one.

        3- Trust / respect run through Heartiste translator: “Make me respect you or trust me to defect.”

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      • Dear Wingwoman:

        Regarding the need for trust and respect in relationships. Haven’t you been paying attention? Beta men who trust and respect their partners have a very high chance of getting screwed over. It is not their paranoid fantasy when their wives divorce them, take the kids and the house, and shack up with their boyfriends, and with the state enforcing their right to do all of these things to husbands whose only sin has been to be boring.

        Women are not faithful in general. Men have every right to be careful. This is not paranoia.

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      • I’m not reading any more of wingwoman’s bushwa until somebody gives me a Klondike Bar.

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      • on September 29, 2012 at 4:54 pm Mr Kissyface. .e

        Greg’s smart today

        Like


  56. I’d say your first mistake was even being on frivolous social networking sites such as twitter yourself. What’s the point of it? Attention whores do it for attention but why would a guy need to have one? What’s so fuckin urgent that needs to be immediately broadcasted to your “followers”.

    I never cared for that or for FB all that much and therefore it never becomes an issue with any woman I’m banging- even if I know she messes with that stuff. The first time any of my dimes mention those sites to me I just say I don’t fool with them because they’re mainly for women. Then we talk about something else and it never really comes up again.

    And then you have guys (such as yourself) who get into relationships and then go on those websites and follow/friend eachother and read each others’ posts and tweets and check out who is liking her picture and start reading shit into it and then start losing trust and giving ultimatums on what their profile status should be set at, etc. Then you go onto other websites and ask advice about what to do blah blah.

    It’s obvious you’re a young man and since I remember how it was I’ll give you some advice: Your problem is you care too much, that’s it. Stop giving a fuck. Regardless of your alpha posturing, you are afraid of losing the relationship, and this fear is starting to reveal your weakness as a man. Nothing wrong with being afraid but you have to let the fear come over you and through you and then out the other side…as opposed to trying to manipulate it.

    Cause trust me when I tell you brother, while you’re on here talking about the red flags of her attention whoring (which may be true), she’s out there talking with her friends about the red flags of your subtle but growing, controlling behavior.

    Liked by 1 person


    • Right. Twitter is worse than FB by a long way. FB can actually be useful sometimes (for example, setting up events), but Twitter is just a soapbox for attention whores.

      Like


  57. Not even understanding the point of having a twitter account if you are not a professional or famous person trying to connect with fans or person who would need one to connect with a great amount of people for lifestyle exposure purposes. Isn’t that what FACEBOOK is for (day to day people?) Why do regular day to day people need a facebook and twitter?

    Anyway.

    In relations to Blah’s reaction about the guy being controlling. I do think there is a fine line that a man has to walk when laying down the law (these days especially where women are more keen to independence).

    But women also need to realize the difference between a GOOD solid man who loves her and really has her best interest at heart and a man who simply is insecure and wants to be controlling for his own alterioir motives or b/c he doesn’t understand how true masculine nature works – so he goes overboard.

    I do feel men have a different quality in them that can help a lot of women avoid doing something stupid or just simply being careless (if he loves her or has her best interest). I have a guy I am seeing off and on and he honeslty sometimes just helps put things in perspective. And yes he will TELL ME to do or not do certain things. I listen and when I don’t or do those things, my life feels much more controlled.

    A perfect example is a good friend of mine met a wonderful beta guy last year. I call him a greater Beta. She’s highly attractive but had been in some preety drama filled relationships with dudes who had major issues.

    She meets this man last year and they moved in together and are now engaged.

    She points out to me often how he is always on top of her with how she carelessly handles her bills, cleaning, spending etc. She and I talked and said well as single women we kind of fly by the seat of our pants. We go out when we want, buy clothes and shoes whenever we want, if we don’t feel like picking up after ourselves at that moment we don’t, we may just keep bypassing that bill we know we need to pay b/c we don’t feel like dealing with it. That feels good but there is also consequences that come with living like that. Its makes us crazy in a sense.

    But when you are in a relationship with a solid man, he’s going to try to keep you from doing things that are going to cause you anxiety and frustration later down the line by nipping certain things in the bud before it gets out of hand.

    So here comes a good man in her life who keeps her in check with her frivolous spending. Who is very adament about her dealing with the bill as they come in and “getting it off her plate” to keep her credit good. WHo tells her to just pick this up and put it away or wash that plate so that you don’t have to deal with it later. Who tells her to simply finish her work related stuff when she gets home to “get it done” and not have to stress herself out at the last minute to get it done.

    In the beginning she was very aggravated and at times she gets aggravted. But she comes back down to realty that this man just wants to help her keep her and his life in order. I tell her this when we talk by saying he is a good man who just wants to help her and means well and has her best interest b/c he cares about her. And she admits that her life is so much more organized and less crazy with him in her life.

    So. ladies, that how it is when you meet a good man. Somethings he is gonna keep harping on that are going to drive you nuts and at times you are gonna feel like “its my money i can buy this if i want” etc. But at the end of the day when you are in a good relationship its not just about you anymore and you have to sometimes allow a good man to take the reigns if he is trying to keep the relationship, you and him on a good track.

    Like


    • Right. There’s a difference between controlling out of insecurity and leading out of strength. And there’s a difference in how it will feel. It will feel like a sacrifice if one isn’t getting enough from the person demanding that, it won’t feel like a sacrifice if that other person is enough/more than enough (in which case it would have already fallen by the wayside to begin with).

      Like


    • All I can understand is that you’re a slut and your girl friend is a bigger slut.
      Am I getting that right?

      Now please show us your titties.

      Like


  58. You want to see what a woman loves…look at what happens when there’s a camera in the area.

    This is so. I produced/directed a number of rock videos back in the “day.” Women clustered around me and the crew. Females chase after the guys higher up on the feeding chain, even over a slight gradation of status. Being on camera also placed them higher up the feeding chain among their peers, thereby playing into the attention whoring.

    The impact of this may be less today since just about everyone has video capability and access to the Internet, but it’s still worth considering. Whatever women may say about being into “commitment” or “relationships,” it inevitably comes down to going after the status.

    Like


  59. Amazing post! Like you said, even the most average girl can get an instant ego inflation by posting a photo online. This is leading to women believing their SMV’s are higher than they are, so a 5 will act likea 7 or and 8 because guys on Facebook treat them like that.

    Social media actually contributed to the demise of my last relationship. My ex and I began dating in 2008, during the Myspace years, but she barely used it. Same with Facebook. Around 2010 she set up a blog, though, and instantly got tons and tons of followers. Her blog posts were usually selfies or depressing entries about how now one likes/loves/respects/understands her, and of course she got tons of “You go, girl!” comments from females and “Quit lying, you’re [fill in the blank]” from males. She eventually began talking to a guy who lived 12 hours away, and left me for him…..Before she even met him! That’s right, I was left for an anonymous dude on her blog.

    In this day and age it’s weird to find someone who doesn’t have Facebook or Twitter or a blog, but I have to say that girls that shy away from that stuff are the ones worth pursuing. Any girl who can’t stop texting, updating Twitter and Facebook, or writing blogs is a massive flight risk.

    Liked by 1 person


  60. […] Heartiste – Get Lost, Womenly Economy, Laying Down The Law, From Pickup To Date To […]

    Like


  61. Excellent post. Excellent writing. One of your best.

    Like


  62. I love it when a women says “You have to have trust in a relationship… blah blah blah.” Inevitably she’s suggesting you ignore your instincts and let her feed her inner ho with quasi innocent validation from competing males. You seriously have to be an puss ass idiot to fall for it.

    The dude in this post needs to take two steps in the opposite direction. Don’t beg the bitch to stop, actively see other girls. That’s what her actions are telling you dude. If she asks, tell her why she doesn’t qualify for anything more serious.

    Marriage is obsolete.
    Monogamous LTR’s – maybe….for the rare few.
    Cloud dating – it’s the new black 🙂

    Liked by 1 person


  63. Havent read through all the comments, but its clear that the consensus is to dump her, so heres a question. Assuming our boy takes the good advice to heart and decides to next her ass, what is the best (meaning most efficient) way to get rid of her?

    Like


    • The harsh truth is, though, even if the boy logically knows that he should maybe move on, or stop giving a fuck at the least, he won’t do it. He’s new to this and probably isn’t strong enough to carry through and stick with ditching her or to stop giving a shit.

      Experience has taught me that emotions are much more powerful than logic- especially to those who are still in the claws of betadom or recently removed. He’ll probably make a final attempt at being alpha, one which will probably be overdone, but will cave once that barren feeling of emptiness hits (of being without her) because he doesn’t yet have the psychological power to combat it.

      In other words, to quote Owen over at rsd, even if he knows we are right he’ll fuck it up. He’ll fuck it up and maybe learn a little bit from it and then meet another girl and will probably fuck up that one too, and then another..until he gets to the point where he won’t need to go and ask for advice about what to do, cause life experience will start to teach him the pettiness of his previous self, that it was and is this pettiness, more than anything else, that drives women away. At that point he may begin to internalize these as well as other painful lessons, from which a new man may spring forth. Like the phoenix, like us all.

      Like


    • One text. “I’m not stupid enough to share my home with a skank who makes herself available to other men. Wanna fuck? Give me a call. Want more? You won’t get it from me. See you around.”

      Like


    • He’s young and new to the game. Even if he knows what we are saying is logically right, that he should move on or at least stop caring, sad to say but he won’t do it. For those who are still in the claws of betadom or the recently removed, their emotions are still much more powerful than their recently acquired game knowleadge.

      He’ll make a final attempt at being alpha, but will buckle under that barren, raw, feeling of loneliness that has replaced the feeling of being with her. Why? Because at this point he just doesn’t have the psychological power to combat those feelings. To quote Owen over at rsd, he’ll fuck it up, and probably fuck up the next one, and then the next one until the realization hits home that it was his pettiness which played a large part in the downfall of these relationships, this willingness or need to monitor another’s behavior to the point of helplessness. These lessons may then be internalized, and from the ashes may rise the phoenix.

      Like


  64. the only ‘trust’ a man should direct towards a woman is a trust in her hypergamy.

    Like


  65. Saw this article and immediately thought of this post: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2210617/Liam-Hemsworth-fed-fiancee-Miley-Cyruss-childish-attitude.html Imagine dating a girl with 9 million Twitter followers! On top of that she tweets comments disparaging your relationship, NEXT! Apparently she’d already deleted her account before they broke up for the first time in 2010 and I guess she opened a new one after. Get a clue bro, she’s not worth it and will cheat on you! Another issue entirely is how celebrity influences a man’s perception of a woman’s attractiveness. I’d rate Miley Cyrus a 7-7.5, this Liam dude should leverage his Hunger Games fame to get lesser or non-celebrity 9s and 10s. Whats this guy doing getting engaged at 22 anyway to a 19-year old attention whore?

    Like


    • This. And recently she got that nasty blonde dyke cut. I’d say he needs to vamoose soon – She’s 19 and right at that age when chicks reach sexual maturity and begin to go insane.

      (And if you don’t believe me, go to a college campus where there are tons of girls alone on their own for the very first time. By sophomore year chances are they go absolutely batshit from the freedom)

      Like


    • Miley Cyrus is a 6. She has nice legs, but so so tits, and face.
      The reason Hemsworth is with her is because she’s is nasty and fun in bed… while not trying to sell your sex tape to TMZ. Also when they inevitably get divorced…he will get half.

      Like


    • They are in Hollywood, one of the biggest temples of lies. And they are for the most part bankable actors with beta souls (see that cuckold vampire who couldn’t next his cheating whore). They are probably afraid of real beauties like all betas, and they are directly exposed to a huge brainwashing machine that promotes women’s professional achievements and female strong independant personalities.

      Or they just represent the trend of modern american emasculated men.

      Like


  66. If this girl wanted a finite amount of male attention boost her ego now and then she could go to a bar and passively bait guys to hit on/complement her without leading to any real betrayal or you knowing about it. Instead she uses a public medium that is easily accessible to you and any other man she might eventually want to date.

    Either she needs so much attention that real life approaches and random kindness (which probably happen daily if she is truly an 8) cant satisfy her childish ego or she wants to demonstrate high desirability and make you jealous, not realizing that jealousy doesn’t work on confident men in a LTR.

    Like


  67. Heartiste,
    Even though your focus is on sexual realtionships, I think your observations are applicable beyond that. Some elements apply to employer-employee relationships, customer-vendor relationships and relationships among men in general. I do hope that in the future you will branch out.

    Like


  68. I think the better option would be to qualify the girls upfront prior to entering a relationship with them. With enough experience and knowing exactly what you want in a woman, this should be easy enough to figure out.

    The reason i prefer this over putting them in line is that you simply can’t change people. They are who they are by nature, so if they raise red flags despite knowing they’re with you. Then it simply means it’s something ‘they’re used to’ and will do it again behind your back.

    I would simply move on and find someone else, and hopefully be a better judge at picking the right girls.

    Liked by 1 person


  69. I’ll put my advice to him in a nutshell:

    BETAS FIGHT OVER WOMEN.
    WOMEN FIGHT OVER ALPHAS.

    Like


  70. “But tattoos are also kind of sexy…”

    No they’re not.

    “tats make women more attractive as short term flings…”

    No they don’t.

    Like


  71. THIS is the kind of shit that happens when you let women have too much freedom and attention.

    https://gawker.com/5947869/teenage-girl-tweets-there-is-someone-in-my-house-and-disappears-social-media-shitstorm-ensues?utm_source=deadspin.com&utm_medium=recirculation&utm_campaign=recirculation

    She needs to be arrested. and fined. Probably has already fucked half her school at her age.

    Like


    • Agreed.

      Another thing I noticed is this is the snarky lead-in line of an alleged ‘news’ story when you let a zipperhead (Adrian Chen) pontificate:

      Like its boring old relative, cable news, there is nothing that gets social media more excited than an imperiled white teenage girl.

      Like


  72. The Hemsworths are a beta family.
    Liam’s brother Chris is a 10 looks-wise (He’s Thor for fuck sake), but he’s MARRIED to an older cougar.

    I think they were raised by a feminist mom and a beta father.

    Like


  73. on October 2, 2012 at 7:12 pm Obstinance Works

    Notice how marriage didn’t change anything in her? Agreed. I’m not as smooth and skilled as the host, but I can give you a couple of choices. Either way it’s time to cheat on the old whore bag and make sure she knows it. She has a level of comfort with you that is too high at this point compared to your DHV and if you really do want to take this to the next level you will have go beyond a freeze-out. Your frame must be rocks and stone cold. Time to bring the pain.

    If your value was higher in her eyes, you could just tell her how low value she is in your eyes when she does these things. Give her other things to do, for you in fact. Tell her what you want with her and punish her in ways that make her want you more than life itself. Make her seem small and socially retarded and off in general and even insane for what she does. Tell her she is an addict and will probably need help for her addiction. Be her guru, be her daddy. Make your world the only thing important in her world. Order her world. Possess her like a demonic drug. Make her insane for only you. Tell her how much she loves your dick inside her when you fuck her. Also objectify her more. She wants to be thought of as a sex prop more than a girlfriend. Yawn. Relationships are so much work. I love to break a bitch as much as the next fool, but what can I do with a worthless soul? I love brisk tidings ass more.

    I could give you the easy way out and tell you to drop this oneitis. But, I already can tell you are the possessive type anyway, so choose your poison.

    The second way is escalate the possibility of cheating on her right in front of her even. Don’t make mention to it, just brush her off when she speaks to it. Tell her you are going to a strip club when you aren’t. Tell her all kinds of shit until she caves. Start off with more time away from her, letting her know you are taking a night out for yourself away from her and go flirt with women. Get numbers. Set up dates. Escalate to sex. Get some more girls in your rotation and punish that bitch for her lack of loyalty. Even bring a few hot lady friends around and get lovey dovey in front of her. You can start with having them sitting on your lap in front of your target. When you get caught. Just tell her you did it for love. But stop the escalation if she gives in. Surrender her.

    Like


  74. Seriously if this gal has 600+ followers in such short order… Come on. Wake up. She’s not a celeb and probably NOT that interesting… Move on.

    Like


  75. This blogpost on “Attention Whores” hits close to home. I just broke up with my long term girlfriend for finding that she had secret profile on Tagged, an Asian site that is a cross between a dating site and Facebook. She has big breasts and had posted a revealing picture of herself and listed her self as Single. She said to me it was only “chat” and she was just doing it to act crazy because her 2 cousins and friend were doing it for attention. She actually thought I’d just forget about it and everything would be normal. No way. She is single now. I know when they start this attention whoring it next becomes actually meeting of other men. I had no desire to keep her in my life. She thinks she did nothing wrong, because beautiful girls are used to being forgiven for their transgressions! Chatting today, if overlooked becomes fucking tomorrow. I told her to hit the Fucking Road, because I had been with her though a ton of hardship with her! She’s someone else’s problem now!

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  76. To the guy in the article. Get rid of the girl. Today it is Tweeter, tomorrow she be taking the dick from other guys. There is something wrong with any girl that needs that much external validation. 100% move on! It will only get worse. Read my story above!

    Like