The Best Attitude For Successfully Dating The Modern Single Woman

A reader emailed a run-of-the-mill question about the effectiveness of his text game, seeking advice from Chateau paragons of carnality. He’ll get his question answered, but there’s a bigger theme to this post.

I’m trying to extract the most fun out of this conversation with a girl. Comments? I’m building my skills. Met her on college campus and she gave me her number on the spot. Do post it if you wish, but keep my name off the post please.

Friday: Me: Hi. I see you around sometimes. Saturday at noon buy me lunch at _____; we’ll forget the world and relax in a limited time.  20-30 minutes; more if the world will wait.

The bloated prose of overgaming. Why did you text “I see you around sometimes” after she had given you her number? It sounds disjointed. Good rule to follow: there’s never a scenario when “I see you around sometimes” doesn’t sound stalker-ish. The rest of your text is comical in its romantic abandon. I know you’re trying to be ironic and funny, but does she know that? Your intense come-on, however disingenuous, reveals the limitations of text conversations.

Her: Hey sorry if this sounds rude but I’ don’t really feel comfortable texting with you and definitely not comfortable meeting up with you. I don’t know you. And also I don’t know what your intentions are and I have a boyfriend. And we don’t feel comfortable. Sorry.

The lead may have been warm, but after your initial text it went ice cold.

Sunday. me: I laughed.

Did you laugh to yourself, or did you text her a status update on your chortling?

(another text) me: Silly your defense mechanisms activated. congrats your gfs are proud. I’m not interested in dating you or telling the world I’m talking with you. Assumed I wanted more? good girl you freaked out so hard. now I want shaved ice at ______(different place).

So hideously try-hard. Of course she assumed you wanted more. You’re reaching out to her, right? Implausible deniability is the branding of the butthurt beta who chewed off a bigger mouthful of chick sass than he could handle. If it’s obvious to everyone here reading this then it was obvious to her that you were stung by her rejection and backtracked clumsily into a transparently empty denial of intent.

I forgot to mention the girl is light-skinned Asian, about 5’5″ or 5’4″… a six or seven among the asian pop. (pretty big at my school), a four among the other white girls. I’m white. 5’6″.

Mostly irrelevant. Asians girls need more emotional investment than do white girls, but this minor racial difference wouldn’t have mattered in your case. You nuked yourself from orbit.

You came for comments on your game and suggestions for improvement, and you’ll get that, but there’s a bigger problem you need to solve: your mental state.

Better reply:

Her: Hey sorry if this sounds rude but I’ don’t really feel comfortable texting with you and definitely not comfortable meeting up with you. Sorry sorry sorry blah blah sorry sorry no tingles sorry sorry sorry you’re creepy sorry sorry sorry sorry.

You: so marriage and kids are out, then?

If you want to leave the impression that you don’t take a girl’s dodges seriously, you should approach with an attitude of amused detachment. Like she’s nothing in the scheme of your life. Which she is. If you think a girl you just met is more than nothing, your behavior will reflect your inner beta psychology. And lame, needy and tactless is no way to go through life, son.

No matter how many text suggestions you read at this blog, you will continue making the same mistakes, because your ATTITUDE is WEAK. You feel aggrieved, you feel urgency, and you feel scarcity constraining your dating market options. As long as you feel those things, you’ll never quite grasp the art of flirtatious badinage. You might parrot a killer line here or there, but that line will be book-ended by pages of betaness.

So instead of giving you a clam to eat, we’ll teach you how to fish clams for yourself. There’s really only one thing you need to know: have the right attitude, and the details of seduction, with just a little prompting, will fall into place. What’s that attitude? It’s best summed up in a thought experiment:

A girl communicates with you. It’s on! You get nervous. Don’t want to blow it. Don’t be beta don’t be beta don’t be beta. You strain to retrieve some smart response that establishes your alpha boner fides.

Instead of struggling for that perfect quip, access your deeper psyche and mold your emotional state. What would you say to her if you received her message while swaddled in the smooth flesh of three gorgeous nymphets going down on your knob?

There’s your answer.

Now let’s revisit your hopeless interaction, but this time in the form of a super alpha male luxuriating in the caresses of three darling dainties.

You: what’s up. drinks fri?

Her: Hey sorry if this sounds rude but I’ don’t really feel comfortable texting with you and definitely not comfortable meeting up with you. I don’t know you. And also I don’t know what your intentions are and I have a boyfriend. And we don’t feel comfortable. Sorry.

You: sweet.

That’s the aloof attitude to have if you want success dating the modern single woman. She doesn’t love lovesick Romeo. She loves lovestuffed Romeo whose sexy attitude is a product of getting wrung dry by a cortege of concubines.

Maxim #14: Whenever you’re at a loss for what to say to a girl you like, imagine you’re a man in bed with three beautiful women. Then say what that man would say.


  1. I went through this overgaming phase where i would text odd rambling try hard crap and then the lead would blow up and i would have nothing to show for it.

    The best rule of thumb is no joking with texts in the beggining and the second rule is the jumbotron rule that is discussed on this blog.

    If your texts were blasted on the jumbotron at a sports game would the world say “This guy gets laid.” If not…then don’t text it.


    • good point on joking. you can’t do text jokes until she knows you and knows what your texts mean.

      You: what’s up. drinks fri?
      Her: Hey sorry…

      with that initial text, her response would have been nowhere near as withdrawn. it was exploded before it started. final side note, when you get numbers you can’t just run off. you get the number, then you cement the fact that she made a good decision giving it to you, and then you hopefully make a plan right then. cold restarting via text is not as easy as when she’s right there

      Liked by 1 person

      • OP is obviously a dumbass for sending that nonsense.

        If anything – before going for the logistics (“drink fri?”), there are some cool ‘intro’ texts that can show off his humor and get the girl thinking sexy.

        Check out 1) the ‘Pings’ in Love Systems Ultimate Guide to Text Game and 2) 99 Best Texts guide from Magnetic Messaging.

        But a moron like OP who thinks he’s a modern-day Shakespeare should not give himself free reign, or he’ll just hang himself.


      • He’s way ahead of a million other keyboard PUAs. Crashing and burning is a part of the learning process. If he can learn to take it impersonally, he’ll learn quickly. I know I learn quickly by making mistakes.


      • on November 5, 2013 at 7:47 am Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)


        heay heratrsyetzes! HEA?RTIETSEZ!!! da SAME THING HAPPENED 2 da GBFM!!!ZZ almost but differetnz zlzlzozo

        I’m trying to extract the most fun out of this conversation with a girl. Comments? I’m building my skills. Met her on college campus and she gave me her number on the spot. Do post it if you wish, but keep my name off the post please.

        Friday: GBFM: Hi. I c u round sumtimes. Sat noon suck my lotasa cockasz at _____; i’ll forget da world and relax in ur mouthz. 30 min u suckasz; more as da world will wait.

        Her: Lotsas cockas 4 me?

        GBFM: yah u


      • I think cementing that giving you the number is not a mistake is a very good point. Couldn’t this be done before getting the number as well?


    • If your texts were blasted on the jumbotron at a sports game would the world say “This guy gets laid.” If not…then don’t text it.

      Speaking of which…

      …I lol’d.


  2. I can’t say I’ve never blown it texting, but reading that’s just painful. How about “what’s up?” Start from there. Or “hey girl.” Or something low key. Or “I’m at such and such party, you should come by.” It’s really not that complicated.

    Asking her to buy lunch at the get go, seems a bridge too far. She’s pretty valuable; you gotta play the game a little bit or “meet up for drinks.” It’s not some crazy investment.

    My joke of choice is to say, “Girl,if i like you I’m gonna get you a Frosty’s at Wendy’s.” They love it. It’s ridiculous. They even ask, can I get it biggy sized. Think of where that convo can go. It’s fun talking like this, like a game of ping pong.

    My only room for improvement is to switch it up and not be the class clown so much. But whatevs, it’s working.


    • Correction: she is not valuable until her lips are fastened around his cock. Even then, her value is slight given there are 1000 girls chasing every 200 alpha men while the remaining 800 beta men go wanting.

      Other’n that, yeah, he takes a huge steaming dump of neediness on her. Barf.


      • > “1000 girls chasing every 200 alpha men”

        Volvo with the hamster-revving evo-pysch:


      • you dont believe it? i’d say closer to 50 /1000 in my world. whys that?


      • ???


      • Check out the Volvo ad.

        It’s a real rat race out there for all them hyper-aggressive Type-A horny bitches, chasing a tiny handful of us to-die-for alphas.


      • understood your comment wrong. me bad.


      • They’re revving them engines for you, man.

        Revving them engines.


      • on November 4, 2013 at 10:29 pm Eye rolls (and feminist trolls)

        I dunno man, for all the banging you dudes say you’re doing, you spend a fuck load of time online lol. Listen to you man, “she’s not valuable unless…” you sound like a bitter dude who has been rejected over and over. just be a better dude that the rest. If you’re an “alpha” who is not good at shit, has nothing going for him they will see through your little game fast. Be successful, you think successful dudes are on here taking about acting alpha!? They ARE alpha because they’ve made it, and that’s what gets the girls. Shit man, why you sound so bitter lighten up

        [CH: it’s amazing how many idiots like this commenter are willing to bang their heads against a wall when all available evidence contradicts every platitude they hold dear. “they will see through your little game fast” 😆 ya ok feminist troll.]


      • A troll, how delightful. Let us deconstruct this ad hominem attack:

        • “for all the banging you dudes say you’re doing, you spend a fuck load of time online lol” – broad implication that every man on here is a lying loser, projection? Because he’s on here too, and bothering to post his little attack.

        • “you sound like a bitter dude who has been rejected over and over” – I’m surprised that the “tiny dick” accusation didn’t come out with that passive-aggressive veiled “bitter loser” accusation, plus more projection.

        • “If you’re an “alpha” who is not good at shit, has nothing going for him they will see through your little game fast.” – strong implications of general uselessness to all and sundry, more projection? Hmmm.

        • “Be successful, you think successful dudes are on here taking about acting alpha!?” – so you’re implying that every single commenter is a pretender, including Heartiste. Not good form “dude”.

        • “They ARE alpha because they’ve made it, and that’s what gets the girls.” – can’t quite figure your reasoning here, guess I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed. Perhaps I’ll figure it out one day. If I can be bothered making the effort.

        • “Shit man, why you sound so bitter lighten up” – another “bitter loser” inference, still minus the “limp/tiny dick” reference though. So cannot be a female because that’s usually their go-to when belittling a man.

        Assessment: closet white-knight/male-femtard.

        Reasoning behind assessment: went into ad hominem attack-mode instead of posting clear thoughts that could help someone learn, whether myself or others.

        Personal assessment: I didn’t get completely butthurt and defensive, room for hope there. I attempted to deconstruct the attack for educational purposes, room for hope there. I am incompetent at sticking the shiv in deep and twisting it to cause maximum pain, so require far more self-improvement there.

        Interesting and thank you. I won’t bother to attempt defending myself or posting rebuttals: that would be butthurt in the extreme.


      • If anyone is an idiot in this subthread, it seems to be you.


      • this^…a lot of chest thumping “Alphas like me” types on here….Guys, there are no ALPHAs reading this blog they have no need…they’re living it up. We just try to emulate best we can


      • There’s more to game than being alpha.


      • A hell of a lot more. That original whinefest was just the typical “man up” shaming tactic that is Jurassically old by now. I know ‘alpha’ dudes of the type he/she/it is describing and yes, they got the hot trophy wife but they are upside down financially trying to support her high dollar lifestyle. As has been stated here before many times, alpha in business does not always translate into alpha in all other areas.


  3. It’s easier to just actually be aloof than to put on an act. If you stop caring, the rest comes naturally.

    Some of you guys take this shit really seriously with your 12 paragraph field reports and whatnot and I’m here scratching my head like “OK?”

    They’re just women. Game is great and all but women are women. They are silly and inconsequential. Just stop caring and actually be aloof so you don’t have to comb through the 5000 page Player4Life Technical Manual or whatever.


    • This is like Babe Ruth telling me “Just hit the baseball. It’s easy”


      • Hitting the baseball is easy…watch where the baseball is going and put your bat in front of it.


      • Not all swings are created equal. Ted Williams.


      • on November 4, 2013 at 2:20 pm Cigars, Whiskey and Shiney Shoes

        Be IRRATIONALLY self confident, Babe.

        The ball wants to be hit. She wants YOU to hit her. She’s waiting for you to put that big, hard piece of wood to work. Give her what she wants.

        Just hit it, Babe. It’s easy.


      • Babe Ruth’s career average was .342. Hitting 60 home runs in one season was memorable. It defined him. The thousands of times he whiffed, forget about it.


    • Well said. So many of these guys take it way too seriously. And they analyze it too much. The aloofness comes from abundance, mission, or if you truly couldn’t give a fuck.


    • “Some of you guys take this shit really seriously with your 12 paragraph field reports and whatnot and I’m here scratching my head like “OK?””

      Some people are happy hitting the gym a couple times a week and being in generally decent shape.

      Some people hit the gym daily and track their macros and drink protein shakes because they want to be ripped or jacked.

      Do whichever you like…as long as you’re getting the results you want in life, it’s all good.


    • > “If you stop caring”


      You have GOT to adopt the “always more fish in the sea” attitude.

      As a bachelor, you simply cannot allow yourself to care too much about any one particular piece of tail.

      Caring means worrying means nervousness means clammy palms means “HELLO FRIEND ZONE.”

      Or, if you can’t not care, then at least learn to fake it.

      Learn to PRETEND to not care.

      Or learn to joke about it.

      Poke fun at yourself for being such a hopeless white knight.

      Joke about how you really ought to be smacking the living daylights out of her but your Dad taught you never to hit a woman.

      However you go about finally reaching the goal of blissful insouciant nirvana, along the way to that final destination, you must keep reminding yourself that women want MEN WHO ARE AT EASE WITH THEMSELVES.


  4. What about just “lol” as a response? I’d be so annoyed if I wrote out that polite blowoff text and the guy just laughed at me in response.


    • it’s more of you explaining yourself to him. you wouldn’t take the ‘lol’ too personal since you already told him he’s a cr33p. but whenever i read a long paragraph i’m going to try ‘lol’ with a girl that i’m already familiar with


      • Girls take things much more personally than you’d think. I know I’d be a little irritated that I typed out that looooong excuse and he didn’t even seem to care, and worse, he seemed to be mocking me. I’d be thinking, what is this guy’s problem? Making her feel a little foolish, humbled, curious, mildly annoyed…. it’s all good.


      • Silence speaks louder than words.

        I just wouldn’t respond….and find someone else.


      • Excellent advice is always just to ignore her.

        But if he really wants to pursue her…

        When she says, “And also I don’t know what your intentions are and I have a boyfriend.”

        Then he could say, “That is so awesome that you have a guy in your life who cares so much about you. What a shame that you don’t reciprocate.”

        And then [if she knows what ‘reciprocate’ means], she’ll say, “I do too care about him.”

        And then he could say, “Oh yeah, well then why are you investing so much time in texting with me? I sense that there is something missing in your life. Something BIG. Something that you need really badly. Something that you ache for.”

        Blah blah blah…

        Anyway, it’s always worth taking a chance and calling her out directly & explicitly on her desire to stray.


      • amy, i don’t want you to feel irritated. i want you to feel intrigued. this is a goode example of why the commenters here should largely ignore what our resident “women” have to say.

        however, i have used “lol” plenty of times, but it works much better with a chick who already has some investment into you.


      • No, minor irritation is good because it operates like a neg. It’s the major irritation (like blowing up her phone after she rejects you) that’s bad.

        When you’re asking out a girl who gets hit on a lot, she starts off with all the power. She’s got her usual deflections and excuses, and she’s used to getting responses that reinforce her power. When the guy doesn’t really care or laughs at her, she loses that power, which is confusing and aggravating. And unusual, which is what makes it so intriguing.


      • lol


      • That’s nice.


      • All this work for a bunch of easy hos sporting wizard sleeves.


      • Not applicable to this situation.


      • ^Lol. Right.


      • on November 5, 2013 at 7:06 am haunted trilobite

        Coochies more dog-eared than David Attenborogh’s passport


    • The trouble with texting back “lol” is that it veers dangerously close to sounding butthurt. CH said somewheres that women read the “LOL” and hear it internally as the cry of a bleating and wounded lamb: “Ellll Ohhh Elll!!”


    • Pretty good.


  5. First comes the attitude, then the results. Thing is you can’t even appreciate the results properly if your attitude is messed up.


    • i disagree as this maxim would not apply to many of the posters here. for most, the DECISION to change your attitude comes first. however, your attitude will not change overnight if you’re bitter and angry and haven’t been laid in a long time. it will require work and effort. you will need to fail and understand why you failed. i don’t know if ch has ever phrased it as such, but he has certainly said something similar many times: fake it ’til you make it.


    • Not really. I have observed that in life, in business and with women, success comes from acting like other successful people do, and not from believing and other BS like Law of Attraction.

      I am a strong proponent of the fact that emotion follows motion.

      Feeling powerless? Stand with your thumbs tugged into your belt, and your fingers pointing towards your crouch, as though pointing towards your crouch (not covering it). See what happens.


  6. What Amy said. An intensely terse response to a girl’s paragraph = gyroscope in her skull, regardless of context and content. Mocking content just makes it better.

    On a side note: text game is so easy! You’re **literally** not even personally interacting with women. I struggle to understand how someone could fail this hard at it, especially after being acquainted with your blog enough to feel like sending you an email.


    • on November 4, 2013 at 2:07 pm Spoos in August

      If he writes like this in texts, what I want to know is how the interaction went when he got her number.

      Also, he obliterated his chances right out of the gate; first impressions are difficult to change, and his practically screamed scarcity mentality.


  7. on November 4, 2013 at 1:59 pm RappaccinisDaughter

    Parroting killer lines is likely to offer a lower and lower ROI, too. A lot of women have gotten wise to some of the canned PUA lines—either from going to various sites where they’re being archived, or by simply cutting and pasting your text into Google. (Google the phrase “Hey you are cute like a little mouse” and see what pops up…) So it’s best to make up your own lines.


    • Maybe you are anal about copying and pasting texts into your phone browser, but most women aren’t.

      Friends and I have used dozens of canned lines from different sources, and have never been called out on it.


      • on November 4, 2013 at 3:43 pm RappaccinisDaughter

        Really? Never? You must be *really* good at calibrating your canned lines to the conversation and your in-person demeanor. The reason I say this is that the canned lines tend to be deployed at times that aren’t really fitting in with the context of the conversation or in the general tenor of his behavior in person.

        For example, in person he comes off as a bit nerdy and shy. Then in text, he’s coming up with all this crazy, off-the-wall, non-sequitur kind of stuff. Huh, that’s weird. Is this even the same person? So I hit Google and…yup. It doesn’t sound like the same person, because it isn’t the same person. Some other guy made that up and posted it, and he’s parroting it.

        [CH: you hit google after some dude says something weird to you? You really are broken with paranoia. were you raped once?]


      • on November 4, 2013 at 4:01 pm RappaccinisDaughter

        Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get me! You tend to be a little literal sometimes, CH, so I’m going to go ahead and throw a 😉 in here so you know I’m kidding…

        [CH: do you or do you not google men who say weird things to you?]

        …well, mostly, that is. After all, I hit Google and my suspicions were *correct*.

        [paranoiacs rarely meet countervailing evidence.]

        Same as with our discussion about the guy who didn’t want to give out his last name. He DID have something to hide.

        [were you raped once?]

        Now, it was actually something fairly innocuous, a previous employer that he felt would hurt his chances, but…the woman who insisted on his last name before she’d agree to a date was picking up on a very real vibe.

        [it wasn’t his aversion to reveal his name that was causing the bad vibe, it was his awkward game that ruined the vibe. a man who knows what he’s doing won’t meet many paranoiacs like yourself, or, if he does, he’ll know to quickly recognize them and move on to saner pastures.]


      • on November 4, 2013 at 4:22 pm RappaccinisDaughter

        Pardon the pedantry, CH, but I didn’t Google *him*. I Googled the text of what he wrote to me. And up it popped; a canned line. I thought it was lame, not to mention unnecessary.

        Do you think “try to avoid canned lines, and write your own stuff” is bad advice? Do you think it contradicts your message, which was to let text flow from an attitude of abundance? Is that why you’re asking me about whether I’ve been raped?

        I’m genuinely interested in your answer. A few days ago, Matt King accused my father of having Chestered me (ICK, NO) and I’m wondering if there’s something about the way I come off in text that screams “victim.”


      • You’re cool, RD. Would buy you a beer. But you DO go personal fast, RD, and that *does* give off a victim-vibe.


      • on November 5, 2013 at 10:56 am RappaccinisDaughter

        You’re cool, too, happycrow. I’d buy the next round.


      • i have been called out once, it was more my stupid black stocking cap and rings than a line, because the pickup artist was actually on tv at the time. however, it didn’t affect the outcome, she was enjoying herself so i treated it as a shit test, said “i love that show” and continued.

        i don’t think canned lines are going to cause problems unless you deliver them like they’re canned. and if once a decade you get called out, laugh, roll foward, congratulate her with a high five, whatever the moment dictates.


      • lol, i do canned lines all the time. look at the guys working for amnesty on the street, they have a script they follow and there is a reason for that. if you found something that works, why fix it it if it aint broken?


      • I finally got the chance to try some of this first hand. My first text to a girl I would have been interested in fucking was:

        “buy me a drink monday night”

        No response. Oh well. The part of the story where I’m succeeding at this is all in how I moved on and resisted the temptation to keep beating a dead horse.

        At this rate, I should be banging a solid 4 by the time I’m 50.


      • > “Maybe you are anal about copying and pasting texts into your phone browser, but most women aren’t.”

        You must be new around here.

        RD is a Jewess.

        Of course she obsesses about this shit.

        They obsess about every-damned-thing.


      • on November 5, 2013 at 1:14 pm RappaccinisDaughter

        No, ZS. I was raised as a Presbyterian, although I currently consider myself an agnostic. My genetic stock is half Prussian, half UK mongrel (admixture of English, Welsh, Scottish and Irish).

        Your slander against our non-shellfish-eating friends annoys me for reasons that have nothing to do with my family or religion.


      • Go back to Whiskeysplace.

        Filthy astro-turfing YKW-ess.


      • on November 6, 2013 at 7:28 am RappaccinisDaughter

        Don’t you have some new business cards to print up?


      • Nah RD is ok, she ain’t Lily by any stretch. She has this “dudechick” vibe going on. I use to have a good friend in college like that. She was super cool to hang out with but had this pretty manish physique. I have now mentally placed that girls image on RD because they act in much the same way.


      • on November 6, 2013 at 11:07 am RappaccinisDaughter

        OK, so I’m not the only one who has mental images of lots of the commenters here. (Jay, the one I have of you is sort of a Patrick Bateman, only fuller in the face and with a widow’s peak.)


      • That is actually pretty close believe it or not… In my younger days I was Charlie Sheen’s doppleganger though. “Wall Street” particularly.


      • I figure her for mannish-but-heavy in a farmgirl sort of way. The plural of anecdote is not evidence, but most of the RDs I’ve met in the world have fit that mold.


    • I want you to game me, BUT I don’t want you to game me.


  8. “Hey sorry if this sounds rude but I’ don’t really feel comfortable texting with you and definitely not comfortable meeting up with you. I don’t know you. And also I don’t know what your intentions are and I have a boyfriend. And we don’t feel comfortable. Sorry.”

    …and my parents just flew into town, plus I broke my arm yesterday, and I have to pack for a vacation this weekend, and I think we should just be friends, and how many more excuses do I have to put into a single text before you get it?


  9. “And also I don’t know what your intentions are and I have a boyfriend. And we don’t feel comfortable.”

    I can reasonably assume that: 1) this chick doesn’t have a boyfriend; or 2) he’s a hardcore loser who merely doesn’t “feel comfortable” when a dude asks out his girl. put your money on the first. either way, this broad is ready to be swept off her feet, but your texts could use some work. read some of yareally’s shit on building comfort, etc. before deploying the cocky bravado on a chick you don’t even know.


  10. We’ll forget the world and relax in a limited time. 20-30 minutes; more if the world will wait.

    Who is your ghost text writer? One Direction?

    With Orientals you’re better off with 2 Live Crew lyrics.


  11. Honestly…isn’t it just easier to use less words in text game. Don’t prematurely ejaculate the conversation.


  12. ‘(how) Charming”


  13. Those texts are painful to read.


    • they are. a lot of it is that i’m sure i’ve done worse in the past, it’s galling to remember my old interactions and dry nights.


  14. dude that is painful to read. second the comment re: how could somebody who reads this blog be *that* bad? I haven’t gotten laid in a while but even I’m not nearly that bad. seriously. I get the girls to meet me…then I fuck it up. but that super duper long opening text was painful to read


    • I was thinking the same thing. This guy’s a regular reader and dun goofed like that?

      Just goes to show that you have to internalize the aloof attitude before you can effectively employ game tactics, see my post above.


  15. on November 4, 2013 at 2:25 pm the latent sadist

    verbosity in text is definitely a turn off. i think it just signals scarcity. there are hacks and things you can employ to give the right impression…but you will give he right impression if you shift from scarcity to abundance mentality. Its such a worn out maxim at this point but its completely true. All people need to know is that an abundance in prospects and abundance in actual sex will free you from the tells that give away your lower status. Its frustrating as fuck to be starting from scratch. No prospects, so sex. you have to go generate some options if you want to avoid the desperate example in this post. Girls are very attuned to signals of scarcity…little offhand comments you make that show you remember details that shes forgotten…etc. this was like a neon bright endorsement of your lack of options. its a phase you go through.


    • Verbose texts aren’t the vagina clamper you make them out to be. It’s all in the content. I can write a long text that’s not beta or approval-seeking. Sometimes when I text girls its almost like I’m talking to myself. But again, I truly don’t give an evergreen fuck and it comes across in my words.


      • on November 4, 2013 at 3:00 pm RappaccinisDaughter

        Agreed with cryo. Attitude>Content.


      • on November 4, 2013 at 3:15 pm Life at Calhoun's Lake

        Oh you CAN send verbose texts if you know what you’re doing. But for the guy that hasn’t been laid in the last half decade, every extra word is just one more turn at russian roulette.


      • i like to imagine myself being brad pitt, what would brad pitt do if he wanted to get laid? he´d probably text: lets meet, my place at X time.

        better have her thinking im uninteresting than a try hardjackass


      • I could write so much about why I think the ‘Brad Pitt’ test is stupid. Brad Pitt already has ultimate value to the girl. Unless you are similarly situated, it’s mental masturbation.


      • “Brad Pitt already has ultimate value to the girl.”

        Yep. A creepy/shy/low-value dude who uses jumbotron game is not the same as Brad Pitt using jumbotron game…BP has established value so he can be a jumbotron.

        There are very few instances where a jumbotron text will ESTABLISH high-value where there was none before.

        If you’re going to be jumbotronning, you’d better have been captivatingly high-value as fuck in person so you have high-value established and your jumbotron txts work.

        The prob for most guys learning game is that they aren’t good at the actual pickup and they get what’s already a pretty shaky number as it is because they don’t have the fundamentals down yet, so they seem “okay” to the girl…a nice/cool enough dude to give him a shot but they’re not gonna chase him down begging him to take their number.

        So this hypothetical guy learning game #-closes her with say a 5/10 value (Brad Pitt being a 10/10 value , Matt King being a 1/10 value). But now he has to txt…if he worked on some solid text game and learned to tease, build comfort/rapport, push/pull, roleplay, etc (ie – conveying his personality) he could bump his value up to like a 7/10 and she wouldn’t flake and would bang him.

        But he actively applies jumbotron txts so she doesn’t get any real glimpse into who he is because he’s being all aloof, which at a 7+/10 is fine, but as a 5/10? He’s gonna drop down to a 4/10 because he isn’t interesting and wasn’t starting from a high enough value point and she loses interest and/or flakes.

        Then he listens to the “I just tell girls lets fuck and if they say no I Next that bitch” dipshits who tell him she just couldn’t handle all his alphaness and actually he totally Next’ed her like a boss lol

        If he had run a brilliant initial pickup, he’d be going into txting as like a 7/10 so he could afford to be aloof.

        This is why 1) when guys first start collecting #s in 30-second #-close rampages, they’re devastated to find out that 99% of those numbers flaked and 2) why we encourage guys to go for the full close, not just the #…the further you can get in the pickup before having to resort to txting, the more value you’re going into the initial txt convo with.


      • on November 4, 2013 at 5:38 pm immoralgables

        “Matt King being a 1/10 value”


      • Yareally once again nails it…
        I never comment, but I just wanted to say that I’m really starting to get laid left and right, my social life has never been better etc., and this is mostly thanks to your comments (major props to the guy who put this yareally archive together)
        I particularly like how you debunk the myth of the “alpha badass CEO navy seals” guy who is the only one supposed to manage to get laid according to most of the people here lol


      • i like to imagine myself being tyler durden with brad pitt’s looks being beaten up


  16. Machete don’t text.


  17. What’s up with this “world will wait.” That’s so friggin’ gay. That’s what you say when you’re arranging an “afternoon delight” session in a janitor’s closet with your receptionist, not a girl you just met whom you’re trying to meet for lunch or drinks.

    What makes you think the world is such a bore for her or that she wants it to wait or that you’re so friggin mysterious and awesome that the rest of her world is worth putting on hold for you? Maybe say, “Look, I felt a connection with you and would like to explore that more deeply.. I have another place to be at 1, but I can fit you in for lunch at noon.” She either says yes or no. It don’t always have to be fancy and by saying what I just said you’re signalling interest and scarcity.

    Drinks are always your better bet anyway. Girls like to drink, and it’s lower investment than dinner.


    • on November 5, 2013 at 7:33 am haunted trilobite

      What if you’re tee-total?.Serious question


      • You won’t have as much fun and will have to hang with “health nut” girls and pursue active hobbies that involve groups, like beach volleyball. There’s solutions, but it will slow your roll.


      • It’s fine. Tyler from RSD doesn’t drink and he games club chicks. You just need a strong frame. Go for coffee instead of drinks (I just order a hot chocolate cause I hate coffee lol). If she’s into you, she won’t care. If she’s not into you, tighten up your game.


      • on November 7, 2013 at 5:57 pm haunted trilobite

        Thanks for both perspectives. I’m a bit of a health nut anyway, but need to evolve into a better mack a dame Ya nut 🙂


  18. The OP’s texts aren’t really “game”, they’re just weird uncalibrated random sentence fragments and semi-colons. He should never text this chick again…she’s too creeped out to be turned around and it’s probably hard to game on campus when you have a restraining order against you lol

    Anyway, since the topic of overgaming VS jumbotron texting has come up, here’s the obligatory link to my archive post on making verbose texting work since I use it all the time:


    • “He should never text this chick again.”

      Amen. She thinks he’s crazy. In a bad way. But when she texts to you, “lol ur crazy,” you’ve done it right.

      That’s what I like about you, YaReally. I read your link. You’ve got the psychology of American girls down to a science.

      P.S. I hope OP is not too discouraged, but it’s clear that most people have great difficulty with game.


  19. that´s right


  20. on November 4, 2013 at 2:42 pm Cad and Bounder

    ” Met her on college campus and she gave me her number on the spot.”

    And herein lies the problem. The whole narrative smacks of a weak number close, that the guy went away with thinking “I know i’ll just use some of that them there PUA killer lines” and that will DHV enough for me to swing it.

    A better approach is to get the agreement in principle of a coffee date (if they baulk then let them go) THEN take the number. In this way, your follow up conversations are framed around arranging a date, not beta orbiting or trying to ‘impress’ her. Remember avoiding the false positives is a huge part of this.

    Now go back to CH’s suggestion of “what’s up. drinks fri?” and play out the likely responses.

    She could ignore. Duff lead.
    She could IHAB etc. Duff lead.
    She could agree. Lead.
    She could suggest another date. Lead.
    She could try and get more attention with something like “sorry cant make it”. Possible shit-testing lead/possible timewaster.

    If the last thing happens, just leave it a week or so and text “tonight?”. By now you will have filtered out the attention seekers. The interested shit-tester will realise you are not a drip, and that her only chance of seeing you is to comply.

    One of my favourite text responses ever came from a German chick. “Sorry but I should have told you I have a boyfriend. So there will be no coffees. No drinks. etc” . I think she knew my game!


  21. on November 4, 2013 at 2:43 pm North Vinlander

    What do you think of the fact that he told her to buy him lunch? I mean, that’s not quite the equivalent of “No LOL, how ’bout you buy ME a drink.” Was it just weird and rude, or would you consider it “alpha?”


    • I think it’s problematic in context. It’s like he took one game concept–don’t invest too much, show high value, etc.–and he knows the words to the song, but the melody, beat, rhythem, and everything else is way off.


    • on November 4, 2013 at 3:07 pm Life at Calhoun's Lake

      Joking about her buying isn’t bad if you’ve established status and you know what you’re doing. But for the love of God don’t send that demand cold as a first text. It comes across at best as a canned pua line. At worst as if you’re a weird, socially unacclimated sperg.


  22. on November 4, 2013 at 2:57 pm Life at Calhoun's Lake

    Ouch that was painful. Those texts…

    Looking at my phone, the longest text I’ve sent all week (excluding texts to my 88 year old grandma who recently discovered texting and is glued to her phone more than the typical college broad) was: “haha thats some funky shit. see you saturday”. Anything more than that and you’re doing it wrong.

    My guidelines for texting:
    1) keep it concise
    2) keep it ambiguous (except when establishing a meetup)
    3) no smileys ever
    4) no capital letters
    5) haha = that was actually funny, lol = you’re a fucking idiot for sending that and thinking it was funny


    • all good guidelines however sending smileys or long texts is also fine as long as its funny to her. dont go corrupting people’s heads with strict guidelines.

      if you already know a girl, just open with ‘hey its name’

      if you’re tindering, do not under any corcumstances say hey. open with something specific to her photos that’s cheeky but not offensive. wish i could post some of the tinder conversations that lead to dates. they are hilarious.

      on a side note, i didn’t really get the abundance mentality until i started using tinder. everyone should get on it


    • Yeah whatever. We’ll see how far those types of txts get you when your value is middling to a girl.


      • on November 4, 2013 at 8:45 pm Life at Calhoun's Lake

        Well, if my value was “middling” that would be a problem.


      • on November 4, 2013 at 8:54 pm Life at Calhoun's Lake

        But for the typical guy starting out, I still stand by my guidelines: lesser is better until you know what you’re doing.

        A lot of times not shooting yourself is all it takes to win. That’s a life lesson that extends well beyond just getting laid.


      • “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt” -Abraham Lincoln

        Abe had txt game on lock.


  23. Maybe I read it here. My default response when a chick nexts me: “does this mean we’re not getting married?”

    It’s good for another couple lays.


  24. on November 4, 2013 at 2:57 pm Reservoir Tip

    Speaking of texting… I know I’m still a bit of an amateur, but CH, I really do think I’ve found one of the best negs around. It’s good for text game, and it’s good in person.


    “Not half bad.”

    I’m telling you, this one works wonders. It’s ambiguous and could easily be taken either way, so automatically girls start trying to qualify themselves. I use it after I get a girl to send me a picture, or when I see a girl kind of dressed up.

    So try it. It works wonders.


  25. Maxim #14: Whenever you’re at a loss for what to say to a girl you like, imagine you’re a man in bed with three beautiful women. Then say what that man would say.

    Great point, one small criticism. Obviously, I don’t think most guys could relate to this state so they’d be “imagining” it and coming off try hard again, incongruity alarms going off. Why not anchor it to something most guys have experienced, talking to girls when you already have a gf. That state of mind is the epitome of non-neediness and most guys would get what that relaxed state feels like. Act from that state, yet push forward. That is outcome-dependence alpha, game is just inside baseball talk to getting to that state. (which I think is your main point anyway).

    There is a reason you can get more girls with a gf beyond just pre-selection, it’s that state of mind.


    • I think this is the most useful comment on this thread.

      “What would you say to her if you received her message while swaddled in the smooth flesh of three gorgeous nymphets going down on your knob?”

      I would text her a dick pic where the aforementioned scene could be observed by all. How’s my game?


      • Well, you could become Jodi Foster II and try gaming all the bi-chicks.

        Won’t do much good as far as placing a bun in your oven and experiencing the exquisite pain of natural childbirth nine months later.

        But on the plus side, you won’t have to brazilian-wax your moustache each week.


  26. I replaced “what’s up” with “sup”. Totally douchey, I like it. Last time a girl rainchecked on me I replied “k”. Helped that I didn’t care anyway I suppose.


    • If you really didn’t care, then why respond at all? If a woman flakes on you, it’s on her to get back with you. Keep it movin.


  27. On a positive note, the use of multiple semi-colons in his opening text denotes the pinnacle of alpha maleness.


  28. The guy made a mistake by overgaming, no big deal there is lot of fish in the pond. Important thing is to learn from the mistake and soldier on.


  29. Sure text game is good and all but it shouldn’t be where all focus lie as far as game goes.


  30. “Maxim #14: Whenever you’re at a loss for what to say to a girl you like, imagine you’re a man in bed with three beautiful women. Then say what that man would say.”



  31. I’m a guy but I actually feel bad for girls sometimes. It’s gotta be frustrating to put up with such bad game all the time. OP has got to be thankful that she was actually trying to be nice about it.


    • Yeah, first world problems. Terrible.


    • They have reality tv, wine, and fatty foods to comfort the sheer horror they have to endure on a daily basis.


      • on November 4, 2013 at 5:13 pm Reservoir Tip

        “The door-holder, who’s already proven himself to have zero qualms about confronting strangers, is looking at you. You can see him in your peripheral vision and you can feel him looking. You’re at a distance, but your hair is pretty bright and you’re wearing lipstick so you know he noticed you. Keep reading, keep looking down. You briefly wish you were less attractive or had mousy hair or had an invisibility cloak. He keeps looking at you.”


      • on November 5, 2013 at 7:58 am haunted trilobite

        Creeper. He oughta know being a door matt is the key to success


    • That’s why nowadays being alpha (or the pursuit of it) and having game is not an option, it’s a freaking necessity. That’s if you are a self-respecting male.


  32. The attitude, that’s it. Now “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” comes to my mind ONCE AGAIN.

    “Mark: The attitude?
    Damone: Yeah! The attitude dictates that you don’t care whether she comes, stays, lays, or prays. I mean whatever happens, your toes are still tappin’. Now when you got that, then you have the attitude.”

    I guess I was too mesmerized by the sight of a naked Jennifer Jason Leigh in her prime to pay much attention to this classic Red Pill wisdom bit.


  33. Recent red-pill taker here…I’m miltary and just back from deployment. Before I left, was trying out newfound Game and got involved with, well – I guess a P&D…about a 6, mid-30s (I’m mid-40s), fun in bed but nobody I really want a relationship with. Didn’t contact her when I got back, but she saw me around and sent me a ton of bitter texts. “I never would have slept with you if I knew you were like that” etc. Feeling a little bad, she seemed to be a nice person but not the one for me. Is “ignore” the right way to go?


    • on November 4, 2013 at 5:19 pm Lucky White Male

      You will become a stronger man if you move on and find new girls. You already said you don’t want a relationship with her. This is red pill

      Don’t promise girls up front you want a relationship, or imply that by having sex, that means you will stick around. This is blue pill behavior we’ve all done at one point. Not sure if you did this, but her text that – I didn’t think you would act like this – sounds like you might have led her on


      • Text her back. Say, hey chill out. I just got back from a fucking warzone. A lot of shit changes. I need to be around chill, fun people. When you can be fun again, give me a call. You’re on probation right now.


      • That’s perfect, Mr. Roach – not just Gamewise but exactly the way I feel.


      • Did exactly what you said and a plate I thought had fallen and broken seems to have jumped back up spinning on the stick.


      • Glad it worked out. Just be wary of drama queens. The one good thing you can say is they’re usually intense and usually respond well to being properly chastised.

        Welcome back and thanks for your service, by the way.


      • I think, being a recent beta, that I have kind of fallen into playing “beta game” on women who are susceptible. Probably need to expand into other areas.


  34. on November 4, 2013 at 5:12 pm Lucky White Male

    Maxim #14: Whenever you’re at a loss for what to say to a girl you like, imagine you’re a man in bed with three beautiful women. Then say what that man would say.

    Top 5 advice lines ever given on this blog. Because it covers a lot of ground and will alleviate a lot of blunders ahead of time

    The problem is: this “attitude” threatens to leak incongruence the less true it really is. A girl “sees your whole life.” Girls are intuition machines. They really can read all your microcalibrations.

    You’d better BE who you are fronting yourself to be, who you claim to be. But fake it till you make it can take you very far for starters, and for many guys this is the only option


    • Fake it til you make it is the way to go. Each reference experience makes you into whatever you’re faking, but ‘faking it’ is about putting yourself in situations to get those reference experiences.


  35. on November 4, 2013 at 5:40 pm immoralgables

    Holy shit at everyone acting like they haven’t sent some retarded ass texts when first learning game.


  36. Here are my thoughts on the ‘attitude.’ The ‘attitude’ serves two purposes IMHO — first, it allows you to keep going. Rejected once? Twice? Thrice? Frice? Who cares, keep plowing. Second, it’s what turns a spark into a flame.

    Without a spark — and maybe this is sacrilegious — you aren’t going anywhere. But with AT LEAST a spark, you can create a fire. Or you can stomp out that little spark with gay anti-game.

    I just think most guys only get with girls when there’s already a fire raging lol. They’re that clueless. And seriously, the ‘spark’ is this simple to me: does she react to your presence, or not. If no, then move on. If yes…you can fuck that girl.

    You use direct opener on girl 1: hey what’s up, you look cool gonna talk to you guys for a sec.

    Girl 1: [flat tone, but still polite] Oh, well sorry not interested.

    Probably can’t fuck that girl

    Girl 2: [emotionally regretful tone, looks at her friend, laughs a little] Oh………well sorry, not interested.

    Maybe you can fuck that girl. Now maybe something is getting in the way — her friend’s judgment, her bf is there, the logistics are terrible, etc etc etc. But there is ONE path you could take (at least) that ends in you fucking her.

    FR —

    Convo on college campus where a girl is sitting studying. 6.5, 21y/o. Hella.

    Me: Hey, sorry to interrupt you but you look pretty cool and I just wanted to come say hi. I’m Scray
    Her: ….hey Scray, I’m 6.5, nice to meet you. Do you go here?
    Me: Nah, but I live like right across the street.
    Her: Oh, that’s cool
    Me: Ya, so that’s a pretty thick book. I’m not gonna lie, I was planning on starting a grift with you where y’know….you’d do everyone’s homework for them and we’d make money off of it.
    Her: …..what? Wait….what would you be doing?
    Me: Making money. I just told you.
    Her: (she laughs)

    Get her number, we set up a day 2. Easy, right? WRONG. This was last week just before shit really hit the fan. Behold, the effect of heartbreak on ‘game’ The day before the day 2 I didn’t hear from her. So the day of the day 2

    Me: hey did you want to take a rain check on meeting? Haven’t heard from you
    Her: I’m sorry
    Her: How often are we supposed to talk?
    Her: So are we canceling?
    Me: No I’m not canceling. Just wondering
    Her: How often do you expect to talk
    Me: I don’t expect anything. Just curious. Relax
    Her: I’m curious too
    Her: how often
    Me: Idk, if we hit it off every day I guess (……….wut)
    Her: ok
    Her: Just so I have an understanding
    Me: Is 9 a good meetup time? (…….wut)
    Me: (3 hours later) Hello? (……wut)
    Me: (2 hours later) K gonna assume you can’t make it tonight (….cringe)
    Her: (30 mins later) ?
    Her: Ok that’s fine I’ll just see you some other day
    Her: You freak out immediately if I don’t have my phone every 5 seconds
    Me: when I have plans I confirm a few hours before (ya that’s good…just try to slap the puppy in the face….)
    Her: well we don’t have plans anymore so you’re fine
    Me: Ya. Just my etiquette (AWESUUUUM)
    Her: that’s fine
    Her: Sorry to waste your time
    Her: I don’t text you enough anyway, so sorry.
    Me: You free any other days
    Her: No
    Her: I’m not going to do this to you again
    Her: I don’t think I’m good for you
    Me: Don’t see what the deal is but K ttyl.
    Her: You’re the one who made a big deal. You want ppl to text you a lot and respond right away.
    Me: later (fuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaark)

    So anyway, that slipped through my fingers. She was cute, too. lol.
    On to the sarge —

    First set, hb 7 sitting by herself on her phone

    Me: You playing tetris on there or something?
    Her: Hahahaha, noooo…..just….doing nothing really
    Me: Did all your friends leave you here by yourself….
    Her: No, my husband is at the bar getting us drinks.
    Me: Oh wow, you bitch
    Her: hahahahaha!
    Me: Just shit on my heart. Ha. Later

    Next set, walking by these two chicks at the bar — a SOFT 5 and a 6.
    5: Hey, that shirt’s pretty cool
    Me: ….thanks.

    Long story short, the 6 was having some sort of lame-ass bachelorette party or whatever. My wing rolled into the venue at around this time and tried to come over to help with this set…and he was running classic happy-fun-go material, but honestly, I’m not giving much value to a set that doesn’t do it for me. So I actually bounced — and they were talking to me about whatever bullshit was going on with them lol. It’s mental masturbation but 40% fuck-probability on the 6 and 80% on the 5. Srs.

    3 — 5,6,6.5 — chicks sitting down as I’m walking out the venue.

    Me: Any of you guys interested
    All three: Nah, not really.
    Me: Have a nice night (give one a high 5)

    Next set, a 7 and a 5 sitting down…

    Me: Hey, you guys look cool, do you want to talk?
    7: Wait, what?
    Me: Do you guys want to talk?
    7:……aren’t we talking?
    Me: ……all right, come on, cut the shit, you know what I mean (lol)
    7: (raises eyebrows)……well we’re actually waiting on people.
    Me: Okay….have a good night.

    Next set — a 7.5 and her 5 friend sitting at the bar.

    Me: (I nailed this delivery at least, good body language, good tone, etc) Hey, I just thought you looked lovely and had to come meet you. I’m Scray
    7.5: Ohhh….you’re cute, too. Hi Scray, I’m 7.5…nice to meet you….but my boyfriend is right over there. This is my friend, 5.
    Me: Hi, 5. Well you guys have a good night.

    By chance I run into some friends — classic social circle shit. Two 6’s are there that I realize I could fuck if I pulled the trigger, and a 6.5 that my gut says I could fuck if I pulled the trigger but I’m too chicken shit (she’s also been with two of my friends, so it’d be a little weird).

    I think while I deal with this heartbreak I’m just gonna go light direct. I know what I want now….like a girl who looks as good as the 7 but who’s a demon in bed like she-who-will-not-be-named. So I’m just in the mood to screen hard.

    There are other girls, too. Like I met this one girl at a halloween party who’s a 7 but she has a bf…so I’m keeping light contact with that one. I mean, compared to last year……at least there are way more prospects, lol. Cause the lineup I have now….I’m just gonna have to change up completely.


    • You really need to keep it simple, dude. Way too much talkin’.


    • on November 5, 2013 at 12:32 am Cad and Bounder

      The first girl sounds like a cunt, but you are not doing yourself any favours. You are supposed to be assuming the close.

      This “Me: hey did you want to take a rain check on meeting? Haven’t heard from you” is horrible. You give her control (which she then buries you with by forcing you to answer her questions) and come across as needy (which she then implies in her texts).

      Your opening should have been “drinks 9 meet at X”. If you are unsure about whether she is going to keep to a pre-arranged meet or not, just text “something came up, will make it 9:30 now”.

      Going back to your script, even when she replies “Her: So are we canceling?” you could have rescued it by just replying “drinks 9 meet at X”. If she hasn’t replied in an hour or so then make alternate plans, which you don’t mind cancelling if she comes back to you.


      • Relax guys, it’s pretty obvious that the texts were retarded lol. And ya I could have AA’d and XY’d and whatever’d. You can know this stuff and still give way too little of a fuck because your emotions are elsewhere, or are controlling you.


      • LOL so fucking true…


    • on November 5, 2013 at 8:26 am haunted trilobite

      I’ve yet to put any of this in practice, but celibacy game might be one way to go. Read a post on here about a guy who didn’t care one iota about no worn out yeast silo, so non-neediness lead him to have hizzos queuing up to be negged (since he didn’t care and enjoyed saying anything to them). Even tho it’s antithesis to much on this blog, my plan is to ljbf loads of women,screen them for quality, then marry one. Seems crazy but thingswomen aren’t quite as psychotic here as they are in America (yet) and I’m confident of success. I’m trying to cultivate something for the afterlife and need to break away from lust anyway. It’ll make for interesting reading anyway when I do put my experiment into words. 14th century game


    • I think you know where you messed up.

      Me: hey did you want to take a rain check on meeting? Haven’t heard from you
      Her: I’m sorry
      Her: How often are we supposed to talk?
      Her: So are we canceling?
      Me: No I’m not canceling. Just wondering
      Her: How often do you expect to talk
      Me: I don’t expect anything. Just curious. Relax
      Her: I’m curious too
      Her: how often <–shit test


      Her: You freak out immediately if I don’t have my phone every 5 seconds (shit test)

      So yeah, you could have agreed and amplified or blown both tests out of the water with something clever.

      Not the cleverest wordsmith, but to the first one you could've said, "Jesus, I thought we were just hanging out, I didn't know we were getting married too lol" and "Yeah, I'm insecure little boy with no penis 😦 hug me *tears*" or i dunno shit like that. Maybe that would've been overgaming, I dunno.

      Tips to learn more verbose texting: (probably already shared but whatever)

      I'm not even going to talk about the live approaches because I still suck at this and anything you mess up in-field is still good because you're still taking it somewhere. I'm still scared of doing that myself (meaning, going all the way to the end, I approach with intent everytime) and moving through the baby steps is fine, but still hard to deal with.

      I'll be writing up my weekend FR sometime later.


    • I found a video of you txting that girl:

      Lol no comment on any of this cause you know it was a mess. This is part of why I recommend taking a little time off, your know the right actions to take but your headspace is just not going to be in the right place for a while…which is good, it means you’re still human. It’s okay to take a couple weeks off to just sort your head out. You might lose a little ground, but you’re not going to gain any at this rate anyway lol

      You’ll be back to form sooner or later, no worries.


  37. “”No matter how many text suggestions you read at this blog, you will continue making the same mistakes, because your ATTITUDE is WEAK. You feel aggrieved, you feel urgency, and you feel scarcity constraining your dating market options.”

    Yes. when I get these feelings, I stop and wait. I realize that something will subcommunicate neediness.

    But if I don’t give a shit, even if the content of my texts is needy-sounding it won’t matter.


    • Just had a close shave with sub-communicating neediness. Fortunately I got early positive feedback in the opening although I did manage to f**k up in the end. Thank God, otherwise I’d be smarting for the next 2 weeks…
      As to Lord of Chateau’s original suggestion, it’s easier for a mule to thread a needle than for me to imagine myself slobered simultaneously and at the same time by female beauty worth more than 20 points.


  38. My response to her would’ve been:

    “Chick Logic: “I’m not comfortable meeting this guy, plus I have a boyfriend. Better give him my number.””


  39. This cries out for “…”


  40. “Wrong person, idiot.”


  41. on November 4, 2013 at 7:26 pm Hammer of Love

    A little off subject, but what does everyone think of this development. Seems that the ” END TIMES” are really here.


    • Lawdy, Lawdy… Babylon had nuthin’ on us…. and the courts of Nero & Caligula would have blanched.


      • OTH, I thought that “my sin is in my face, forever” much better than the hygienized “I am forever conscious of my sin”.


  42. Relevant Red Pill Wisdom from the Don (Ghostface Killah) Enjoy rookies..


  43. on November 4, 2013 at 10:57 pm Young Journeyman

    I got into an argumant with my anthropology teacher about her telling us that the differences between races are a “cultural construct”. That is, we THINK blacks are more physically capable, we THINK blacks are more aggresive etc. When in “reality” we’re equal.

    She started saying some nonsense about how there’s studies that indicate the genome differences between whites are larger than those between whites and blacks. I told her cows share 90% of their genes with humans and that her claim doesn’t prove anything but it went over her head.

    In the end she claimed that she backed her knowledge with studies so now I have to find scientific studies that prove blacks are different ( in any way ) from whites.

    If you have any bookmarked studies about this please share them.

    Now, I realise that she can’t possibly agree with me even if she sees the light because she might get fired but still, I want to improve my argumentative abilities and.. it’s fun 😀


    • on November 5, 2013 at 5:14 am Reservoir Tip

      That “study” she mentioned is Charles Lewonton’s study.

      What he did was he tested ONE allele on the genome. Alleles are, basically, genes that vary at one particular location from person to person.

      What he found was that when you test at, again, ONE spot, there is more genetic variation within races than between them.

      But his study was also bullshit, because scientifically when do you only do ONE test for anything?

      Another guy came along and found that the more alleles you test, the more genetic variation appears between the races. Just look up Lewonton’s fallacy.

      I’m in college too. They throw the same shit at us in sociology. Props for speaking up though. I’m the only one who does in my class, too.


    • on November 5, 2013 at 5:16 am Reservoir Tip

      I’ll also send some stuff your way later.


    • on November 5, 2013 at 7:03 am betterthantheoriginalwally

      First, she will never agree with you because she is a woman. Women prefer and have no problems living in a fantasy world. Evidence shouldnt be too hard to come by – point out the best running backs in the NFL, the best power forwards in the NBA and the winners of the Olympic 100m finals since WW2.


    • Journeyman, she is correct that differences between races are a “cultural construct”. Look at me, I divide sexy bitches into a distinct “race” of bitches; separate from fugly girls.

      What you should concentrate on is getting her to admit is that people have differences that can be grouped by pattern.

      Once you get her to admit that, THEN you can argue about which patterns are significant.

      This is the root of the argument.

      In addition, don’t get caught up in a battle of “scientific proof” like genomes and alles… because that knowledge is not necessary to practice racism. By the time a white child is about 5 years old, if you give him a rope and point at a tree, he knows who is qualified to be hung.


    • Just tell her that study was done by a white guy locked away in a laboratory and you get all the evidence you need every day when you walk out your front door.


  44. This guy sounds like an indian


  45. “Sweet” LMAO


  46. […] mean shit, though.  there was this rather painful post at heartiste, recently.  exactly, where dudes loose the […]


  47. on November 5, 2013 at 6:56 am betterthantheoriginalwally

    “And also I don’t know what your intentions are and I have a boyfriend.”

    Thats a strange, messy line there. First off, I am pretty sure she knows what his intentions are. And if she had a boyfriend – why would she care about his intentions – whatever they might be.

    I think she protests too much – “we dont feel comfortable” – theres a lot to be said about that line as well.


    • on November 5, 2013 at 7:07 am PimpinBlueStar

      she just wants to get away from him. no need to overanalyze


      • no.


      • on November 6, 2013 at 5:03 am betterthantheoriginalwally

        See how you didn’t put a period at the end of your comment? In fact the lack of punctuation at all? That showed your lack of genuine commitment to both your own comment and mine. As Michael said, if a woman puts a period at the end of her text, it means something. She wants to bang you or doesn’t want to speak to you ever again. Look deeper.


    • on November 5, 2013 at 8:32 am haunted trilobite

      The ‘we don’t feel comfortable’ was a message from her ovaries


  48. There are limits, of course, to great advice. You don’t want to end up saying what I said the time I was in bed with three beautiful naked women, which was something to the effect of “usually its gets hard” in third-rate Spanish.


  49. “I forgot to mention the girl is light-skinned Asian, about 5’5″ or 5’4″… a six or seven among the asian pop. (pretty big at my school), a four among the other white girls. I’m white. 5’6″.”

    Why are you giving a single shit about a goddamn 4? Getting all defensive like this is bad enough with a dime, let alone some broad who ain’t even half-way up the scale.


    • Why are you giving a single shit about a goddamn 4? Getting all defensive like this is bad enough with a dime, let alone some broad who ain’t even half-way up the scale.

      Yeah, if he’s flopping that bad with a 4 (and an Asian, no less), he sounds like he might be an omega. At least he’s trying to learn some game.


  50. Good reply would have been: “was that a draft for your boyfriend?”

    What also works is: “I’m almost impressed”


  51. “Hi. I see you around sometimes. Saturday at noon buy me lunch at _____; we’ll forget the world and relax in a limited time. 20-30 minutes; more if the world will wait.”

    Sorry bro, but with a bad English like this you would fail the Turing test.


  52. Another mind-bending weekend, as I get more reference experiences that it doesn’t matter how you look as long as you have outcome independence. Friday was the best day out of the weekend. Opened a lot of sets, practiced a lot of kino, no makeouts (sigh whatever, I’m gonna save this one for when I go out of town next weekend and just practice on the locals).

    Got into a shit test match with this hot redhead but I fucking lost lol. I’d say she was probably a 7 or an 8. I approached her earlier in the night as she was walking across the street (funny thing is both of these sets I’m about to report were walking across the street and after having gotten rejected, me and my wing reopened them later and had much better results).

    Redhead 7.5 and chubby friend walk across the street. Lately I’ve been having approach issues (I’d approach, but always prefaced by 5-10 second hesitation, which is what I don’t want). I blurt out “YOU”, look her in the eye, and grab her hand saying “We’re soulmates.”

    She smiles and takes me hand and I spin her around. We’re in the middle of the street going opposite directions and I say “We have to go but I’ll see you later” and she’s like “Yeah, maybe later.”

    And THEN we are about to cross to another street and this whole group of hotties is about to cross (they are slightly ahead of us). My friend is too scared to try, but I go for it (this isn’t even an ego thing because the next night, I couldn’t approach any hot sets until the end of the night and they were all taken by dudes). Anyway, I go to the tallest one (clearly the head bitch) and I say:

    Me: YOU. We’re soulmates.
    HB8Tall: Lol yeah I don’t think so.
    HB8Short: Actually she’s mine.
    Me: I’ve been in love with her for almost ten years (to HB8Tall) Don’t you remember? I’ve always had a crush on you since college!
    The whole group lols and heads to the bars. Me and my wing stop and laugh cuz we’re having a blast… which left the group open for re-approach cuz we’re just the dudes fucking around.
    Me (upon meeting them 10 mins later inside a bar): Hey it’s my soulmate!
    Girls: lol
    HB8Short: I thought I told you she’s mine lol

    The shorter girl is actually pretty hot lol like extremely I just hadn’t noticed before. So I switch targets and-

    Me: (intense eye contact) Hey… you’re so cute.
    HB8Short: (intense eye contact) …i think you’re cute too 🙂

    This was PROBABLY the highlight of my weekend… cuz we were just close and was thinking “wow I could probably do whatever I want right now…” But then…

    Me: What are you?
    HB8Short: Sagittarius
    Me: Wha?
    HB8Short: I’m a Sagittarius, what are you?
    Me: Virgo lol why you like astrology?
    HB8Short: Yeah
    Me: (push her away) lol… but are you a good cook at least?
    HB8Short: No I’m terrible lol
    Me: Well… (honestly, I should’ve said here “I’m just kidding, I love you”
    So we just there, my arm around her waist and my friend bails to head upstairs and i’m like NOOOOOOOO

    Cuz that would mean it would be just me and these 5 or 6 hot chicks. So I’m like fuckkkk and I’m like “Well… we’re gonna go dance…” (facepalm)

    HB8Short: It’s okay.
    Me: Uhhhh…
    HB8Short: No, it’s okay, we’ll meet you upstairs.

    Don’t think that happened 😦 I think I hurt her… and my reference exp or something.

    So we head upstairs and my wing approaches these two girls siting at the a table (there are circular tables next to the main dancefloor) and he approaches the less attractive one (lol?) so I’m like cool, I’ll take this hot redhead. Turns out its the redhead I approached earlier in the night.

    I stand there and she ignores me. So I take a seat. She still ignores me. So I say:

    Me: So you’re not gonna talk to me now?
    Red7.5: (She turns around and smiles)
    Me: I would totally kiss you right now.
    Red7.5: (Smiles) I wouldn’t let you.
    Me: I like that. I like when a girl is strong and independent (??)
    Prolonged eye contact.
    Me: But you’re really cute.
    Red7.5: You’re cute too (I can tell she sort of hates herself for saying that, so she says nothing else)
    Me: (in my head) “Great now I have to say something else…” Uhh hey, you ever look at a guy’s crotch before, if you like him?
    Red7.5: What? (note: she can’t hear me over the music so she leans in everytime I talk)
    Me: The same way I check out a girl’s ass and boobs and sometimes her face.
    Red7.5: Really? (fake pissed, I think?) You only look at a girls face sometimes? And you want to kiss me? Pfff (backturn)
    Me: Uhhhh…. (lol I have no idea what to say here, so I’m like, oookayyy, guess I’ll go then)
    At this point my wing is still occupying her friends, gets her number.
    Red7.5: Whats going on over there?
    Me: Ummm, doing his thing I guess.
    Red7.5: (Turns around and says) I think you’re too young for me.
    Me: Alright well, see ya… (I couldn’t lead it in the right direction lol)

    So yeah, we leave approach more random sets and thats it.

    I’m just happy I got shit-tested with a hot red head and made another hottie get the DDB eyes for me 🙂

    The next night was pretty shitty, but got some more insights I’ll write later.


    • Nice FR. I’d have made the play for the short girl, she was definitely the one that you’d have been able to slice off the same night.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Approaching girls everyday now. Got some numbers, working on those. It’s been pretty clear where my game needs work.

        As for the short girl… yup, agreed.


  53. “Why are you giving a single shit about a goddamn 4? Getting all defensive like this is bad enough with a dime, let alone some broad who ain’t even half-way up the scale.”

    The “karate class” approach is a good example of a vetting process that allows you to date while at the same time, getting a girls to train themselves to be your woman.


  54. This was a while ago, since I keep texting to a maximum of like 3 words, and if a woman isn’t in front of me, she’s out of my mind. But had a girl respond to a “let’s get together here, at this time” group-E-mail with this long rambling message about her having a boyfriend and not looking yada-yada, and I responded with something like.

    U R 2 freaky 4 me, babe.

    That got several stalker calls – which I sent to voice-mail instantly, and guess who showed up at the coffee shop? Not-interested girl. Of course, there were several of us there, more women than guys, and a lot cuter than her. Turned out BF wasn’t really so much of a BF that she wasn’t willing to put out some tail for the guy that dissed her…

    Shows women’s minds are not a man’s – keep things light and dismissive, and she’ll fixate on you. If you want to deal with that type of crazy.


  55. “Her: Hey sorry if this sounds rude but I’ don’t really feel comfortable texting with you and definitely not comfortable meeting up with you. I don’t know you. And also I don’t know what your intentions are and I have a boyfriend. And we don’t feel comfortable. Sorry.”

    If you’re feeling progressive, try:

    “Wow, just wow.”

    If she replies, send her a “lol” and keep gaming.


  56. “I’m trying to extract the most fun out of this conversation with a girl. Comments? I’m building my skills. Met her on college campus and she gave me her number on the spot. Do post it if you wish, but keep my name off the post please.”

    If you really want to learn game, look up the Mack Lessons Radio Show, and listen to every episode that isn’t about Negro problems. King Flex can go off about white supremacy too often, but the game is pure fire.

    One really good tip you can start using right now: Don’t just ask a girl for her number. Give her YOUR number, and INSTRUCT her to call you.

    Women give out their numbers all the damn time, and it doesn’t mean anything. They just do it for attention, or to get another dude in their circle, or just to get you to leave them alone. On the other hand, if you give out your number, and she calls you, it’s obvious that she’s down. If she doesn’t call you, oh well. A feeler text is OK, but never more then 1, and never more than a quick “How ya doing?” or something like that. You didn’t lost any time or effort, and you can keep it moving to the next chick.


  57. girl: Hey lucky I don’t wanna give you any wrong ideas. I have a boyfriend and I think we shouldnt hang out. Sorry …
    me: does this mean we’re not getting married?
    girl: I think so .. 😉
    me: ok ill see you at 8
    girl: ?
    girl: Well ok
    girl: Let’s make it 8.15
    me: cool


  58. Girls sometimes do things because they’re uncomfortable, and they feel like they’re being coerced into it, not because they’re turned on or the hamster is running. You guys know that, right? You can game a girl into submission, but that submission’s not always coming from a good place in her psyche. That’s why “date rape” is a thing – the man thinks everything’s on the level, while the girl feels like she’s being forced.

    Yes, women have the responsibility, in the sexual culture we’ve set up, to be more assertive than their base instincts would otherwise have them to be. To not allow themselves to be treated that way. Unfortunately, teaching girls responsibility is something we just don’t do anymore.

    That’s probably all she’s saying in that text. That’s likely as complicated as this was; she felt “pressured” to give out her number, and now she doesn’t know what to do.


  59. In the e-book “Chinese Dating Secrets Exposed” the author claims that Chinese chicks give out cellphone numbers freely and it has no meaning in regards to dating or attraction.


  60. Like this: Fuck her– make her come to you!


  61. on November 8, 2013 at 9:00 am The Burninator

    My text game, 100% of the time.

    She gets my number, she texts me later that night or next day.

    Her: “Hi, I was just at blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah (subtle hint at wanting sex or meeting as a prelude to sex) blah blah blah blah” over 1 to 3 texts.

    Me: “I don’t text much. I’m hitting (wherever) at 7. Later”

    Her: “OMG, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah…see you on Friday?”

    Me: No answer.

    Her: calls me (sometimes) or shows up around 7 at (wherever) or disappears because she loves the constant chatter ego-boost that the e-fake world gives her. In any event, I come out ahead of the curve.

    Demonstrating that :

    1) I hate texting (I do, I really really do) and precondition all future communication as “not texting”. If she wants to talk then call or meet me someplace. If she can’t live without texting, then I can live without her and frankly have better things to do than entertain an iZombieBot.

    2) I set up the meeting and was done with it.

    3) I didn’t answer back to her follow up text, to demonstrate that I’m true to my word. No future texts are answered either.

    Ta da.

    The OP story was beyond painful to read. The guy is learning though, I guess, but me, I’d advise training the girl right up front to not make you into a stream of digits and faceless words on an electronic screen. When you’re a faceless stream of information you lose value, since you’re just like all the other faceless streams of information on her iZombiePod that serve to make her feel “haaaaaapppy”. Just my take, and I know some disagree, and as always when people disagree, I could give two shits. YMMV.


  62. […] A reader emailed a run-of-the-mill question about the effectiveness of his text game, seeking advice from Chateau paragons of carnality. He’ll get his question answered, but there’s a bigger theme to this post.  […]