When A Girl Catches You Off-Guard

Alex bemoans:

Speaking of uncaring assholery –

I recently made the mistake of, in the split second I had to decide, taking the drink a girl asked me to hold – “hold this”, and she dove towards the dance floor. The same impulse which bade me grab her drink, also bade me drink it (downed it in one shot, then moved on to dance with some other girl).

Does this set of actions come off as the right kind of assholery? Any chance for the pick-up to be resurrected afterwards?

This exact same thing once happened to me. And it’s particularly galling because the “Hold my drink for me” shit test is one of the most blatantly obvious shit tests that chicks with no ethical boundaries employ. She had asked me to hold her cocktail and I didn’t have a second to analyze the transaction before my fingers straightened to receive it. Then she trotted off to grab a scarf off her girl friend’s shoulder. Looking down at her drink in my hand, I felt a wave of disgust with myself. And I responded the same way as Alex: I gulped it down. When she returned and saw the empty glass she said “Hey, you drank it! That’s rude!” I answered Corey Worthington-style, “Oh… sorry I guess”, and walked away.

There will be times when your game acumen lets you down and a chick manages to sneak an artillery shell loaded with toxic vagina gas past your defenses. When that happens, the best you can do is recognize your error of judgment quickly, and rectify your demonstration of lower value as best you can without crossing the line into strident acts of vengeance that will socially ostracize you beyond the confines of one bitchy, manipulative girl. What Alex did in response was perfectly acceptable. In ascending order of face-saving effectiveness:

1. Continue holding her drink until she returns, then greeting her with “here you go!” as you hand her drink back.

So beta it actually hurts my balls a little just to type that out.

2. Hold her drink until she returns, then give it back coupled with a sarcastic riposte like “I should charge you for this”.

Not as beta as number 1, but still supplicating.

3. Leave her drink on the bar and walk off.

Better than acquiescing. But not as satisfying as number 4.

4. Gulp her drink and hand her the empty glass when she returns.

Congratulations, you are an acolyte asshole. Pussy lips will begin parting in five minutes.

5. Spit and burp burrito gas into her drink, then hand it back to her with a big smile.

This is personally satisfying, but you will be robbed of the priceless look of incredulity on her face when she sees an empty glass. Nevertheless, the glowing feeling you get from this private act of revenge will put a bounce in your step and turbocharge your game for the rest of the night.

The best way to reply to a girl who tells you to hold her drink is to pretend to agree and amplify. (Girls will try to pull this off by thrusting the drink into your hand and not waiting for you to reply.)

“Hold my drink. Thanks!”

Leaving your hands by your side: “Would you like your glass slippers polished too?”

Whatever happens, always leave your hands down at your sides. She will attempt to foist the drink on you and will expect you to reach out for it. When you don’t, the drink will crash to the ground. I’ve seen this happen. It is hilarious. The guy who did this told the girl to “go home” and “sleep it off”. That is some transcendental game, right there.


  1. The guy who did this told the girl to “go home” and “sleep it off”.

    skittles level hero?


    • wake up white woman.


    • Christ, I think that line beats the Skittles line by a furlong.


    • Noooo.
      As a girl who can properly handle situations, I can tell you exactly how this would go. I would sigh and say (so that others would hear), “Darling, you said you would grab my drink. This is my song!” I would then kiss him on the cheek and scurry off to the dance floor, leaving the guy stranded and murmuring things about how I need to sleep some more and drink less to no one.
      Downing the drink is a much better move.


  2. First?


  3. Sigh….moderated again.


    • because you are a douche that thinks for some reason “First” is a reply that people give a fuck about.

      All it means is that you are a sad, lonely person that is sitting at home and reloading the page, waiting for a new post by someone that probably stinks of sex.

      And you’re jealous.


  4. When I was in my semi-pro rock star days playing the Hollywood club scene in the late 80’s and early 90’s I used to joke with the guys i played with about how I’d know I’d get a sure hook up.

    I’d meet up with the girl of my choice before a show or while some other band was playing before us and sarge her a bit (didn’t know it was sarging really), then before we’d go on I’d order a drink and say “hey, we’re up next, will you watch my drink for me?” If the girl was still there with my drink when I got off stage I was banging her that night.


  5. Heartse

    Have you ever taken a dump so large and smelly at your girlfriend’s place that she never saw you the same way again? That’s a good thing.

    I’m flattered to Give the Warm Gift of Christmas.


    I feel oddly perplexed,
    If I inspire The Great One
    it’s as if I have snatched
    the pebble from the hand…


  6. “There is no relationship game more powerful than an ‘i love you, too’ with full, penetrating eye contact, sans smile.”

    This is ‘game’? I think this is just saying what you really feel in your heart … This shouldn’t be called ‘game’. Unless we now have ‘say what you feel’ game?


    • Maya. There are better places for you to discuss the flaws of human nature.
      This is a site dedicated for men to learn how to pick up women. If you want to do that stay, if your purpose is different please go to something like hookingupsmart.com, it will do you more good.


      • Sorry, I see it now that I wrote a very stupid comment again. I realized that ‘game’ actually is saying what you feel but from a point of view where you respect yourself as a man.

        “There are better places for you to discuss the flaws of human nature.”

        No, this blog is the most interesting site on the internet so I don’t feel like going anywhere else.


      • That’s too bad, Maya, because we wish you would spew somewhere else.


    • Please read this,


      You’ll have a better understanding of just how ludicrous your pollyanna ideal of love truly is.


      • on December 28, 2011 at 11:47 am John Norman Howard

        Tip o’ the hat on this one… both for its veracity and succinctness.


      • Rollo,

        I quickly read your post and I got an impression that you are paranoid and fucked up in your head.

        Is your wife reading your blog? What does she say about it?

        I’m really interested.


      • “paranoid and fucked up in your head.”

        One of the words that you never seemed to understand comes into mind: “projection”.


      • LOL, I know I’m paranoid and fucked-up … but he is, too.


      • you are paranoid and fucked up in your head

        I’m really interested.

        and this, folks, is how the female mind works.


      • Sometimes paranoia’s just having all the facts. – William S. Burroughs


      • Yeah. But what you write on your blog are not facts. You can’t really know women because you are not one of us … If you want to get to know us you should ask us what you want to know … Without this you’ll keep making up your schizophrenic theories.

        [heartiste: this comment is 100% useless trollery. the best way to get to know women is to watch what they do.]


      • you’re right. i’m just a stupid troll. but one of my resolutions for 2012 is to stop with this addiction. i can’t be in love with a blog anymore, i think i need to fall in love with someone in the real world. i’ll show you i have the willpower to do that! sorry again for trolling. bye!


      • We want to be loved for our weakness. Women love us for our strength.


      • Oh, cool. I want to be loved for my ugliness, wrinkles, sagged breasts and stupidity. I want all this to inspire the feeling of love in men.


      • I know. That’s why it’s war out there, honey.


    • “… this is just saying what you really feel in your heart….”

      You have learned nothing, Maya. You’d think osmosis would have availed you after all this time.

      The urge to “say[] what you really feel in your heart” is the foundation of female stupidity, as if what one feels matters, and worse, as if the free rein of one’s emotional incontinence were the solution to anything.

      What makes the “‘I love you, too’ with full, penetrating eye contact, sans smile” line a killer maneuver is establishing a reputation for honesty and emotional control that only rarely finds purpose for that kind of expression. If you’re trying to make every date like the climax of a romcom, you’ll quickly be pegged as the frivolous flake you are. Protecting the value of your words is the reason why preemptive apologies and politesse are the marks of the beta, while a laconic economy of speech is the mark of the alpha. Make your words count, like the gunshots at the end of the otherwise quiet western Shane.

      Why is the proverbial bag of Skittles so prized by the recipient? It’s because the giver hardly gives, and so when he does give, it is of higher worth than the expensive tennis bracelet a chump bought his beloved for Groundhog’s Day. Same with complements, same with declarations. The fewer and the truer, the more believable they are, no matter the content.

      You might look into that technique yourself, little girl. You may be delivered yet. You’ve been lied to about the nature of love, and what goes by the name is a perverse facsimile inspiring quite the opposite reaction intended. Instead of loyalty, respect, admiration, ardor, and awe, pseudolove inspires dread, anxiety, contempt, boredom, and loathing.

      Love is an action, not the emotional reflux disease you think it is. It’s not a feeling at all.


      • never said that i’m a fan of emotional incontinence. you made this up. otherwise, nice post. i agree with everything you said.

        “Love is an action, not the emotional reflux disease you think it is. It’s not a feeling at all.”

        but this action has to be motivated by something, don’t you think? so what is it if it’s not a feeling?


  7. Even better than finishing it is drinking it until there is a very small amount left. That is more disgusting for the girl because she definitely doesn’t want to drink what little is remaining. Sometimes she might drink it and realize it finished faster than should be expected, then it hits her what you did and she will be very hostile towards you.


  8. Hold *this.*


  9. Whatever happens, always leave your hands down at your sides. She will attempt to foist the drink on you and will expect you to reach out for it. When you don’t, the drink will crash to the ground.

    On the other hand, this might make the guy who does it look like a dork who doesn’t understand social cues.


    • Can’t happen if actually do understand social cues. It’s wired into your body language and facial cues that you are clued in.


    • Only if you go all beta and appear surprised, or worse, become apologetic. If you stay apathetic or just go the smirking asshole route you’ll be fine.


  10. OT — What the hell happened to Roosh’s website? The links all re-direct to a YouTube video of some ugly French crooner. Is this some kind of joke by Roosh? Anyone know?

    [heartiste: give it a chance. that is a beautiful song.]


  11. Last time this happened to me I did a drink spiking gag similar to one I read on here some time ago.

    Her: Hold this.
    Me: Sure, do you prefer Ritalin or GHB?
    Her: Nooo! (with a smile)
    Me: Rohypnol Girl hey?
    Her: Nooo! (with a bigger smile)

    She got giggly and flirty, I took the drink and sat it on the bar where i was standing. I made sure when she got back I was in coversation with someone and her drink wasn’t my priority.

    I didn’t fuck her but I was happy with the flirty interaction.


    • Brilliant!


    • Amazing! But I wouldn’t mention Ritalin and would just offer her a date rape drug, all without smiling or laughing so she wouldn’t know whether you’re joking or maybe not …

      Saying “I will rape you” (in a very non-direct way, of course) is the sexiest thing I can imagine.

      I think the key is to make them wonder whether you are a psycho or you just have a really good sense of humor.


      • “Saying ‘I will rape you’ (in a very non-direct way, of course) is the sexiest thing I can imagine.”

        I take back my comment above. Maybe you are learning something after all. Presuming you’re being earnest, of course.

        Although, you are preaching to the converted here. Lay some of your newfound wisdom on Amanda Marcotte and other sites of that ilk.



    • “I didn’t fuck her but”

      NOT GAME.


  12. Get into the habit of questioning everyone that asks you to do something, man or woman, and you won’t fall for this.

    Or, immediately take the drink and down it, right in front of her. And do it with a smirk.

    There is no reason why anyone should ever fall for this.


  13. Have you seen the trailer for the new Epic Beard Man movie? It’s an homage to the internet meme where that old hispanic veteran stood up to those neo-nazis on that bus. Well, maybe they changed a thing or two but the message remains the same: neo-nazis are always harassing people and committing crime and it’s about time we stood up to them.

    Wake up White Woman.


    • Please tell me this is a joke.


    • Those white supremacists have been raging across the nation lately in these groups called “flash mobs”. In fact just the other day white supremacists were rioting all over America for Air Jordan’s. I hate white supremacists.


      • Yeah, but thankfully we have Hollywood and Stieg Larsson to inform us about all of those nazi supremacist criminals that are everywhere. If it wasn’t for them we would have to rely on our lying, racist eyes.


    • on December 28, 2011 at 12:40 am John Norman Howard

      In prison movies, it’s the Whites who do the raping.


    • Wow, Laconophile. It’s almost like whoever is making these movies wants everyone to believe that white men are evil.

      Sheep 1: I’m telling you, the man and the dog are working together …
      Sheep 2: Oh come off it, always with the conspiracy theories!


      • Now that you mention it, I think I see the pattern too!

        Look at this trailer for a movie based on Bernie Madoff. Except instead of a Jewish villain (like reality), WASPy Alan Alda plays the bad goy.. err guy. And a Jew and a negro team up to stop his white villainy. Just like what didn’t happen!

        “White Neighbors” Ha! Get it? Because white people make good neighbors. And you’re a RACIST, moneygrubbing, Wall Street hedge fund manager for wanting to live next to them.


      • Ohhhhh keewwwwwl, Laconophile!!!

        It reminds me of that other movie from the 80s in which two old white geezer millionaires make a secret racist bet that a poor black con-man could not run their trading firm ….

        … I believe the other lead, a well-heeled “WASPy” type too, was played by someone called “Akroyd”?? In the end the two team up to bring down the evil white racists!


    • on December 28, 2011 at 11:51 am John Norman Howard

      If I were a girl, I would immediately post to Facebook about my new bffs, uh and Laconophile. (insert whatever smiley equates to :tee hee: here)


    • What good has the racist White man ever done for the world? He sure as hell didn’t invent peanut butter. Or bottle rockets.


  14. OT:
    Some of you might consider trying this if you see a hot chick playing pool.

    I was recently with a group of friends. One of them was a 9 (she turned out to be a weak 8… Anyway), we spent the evening bouncing from home to a pub to a lounge … and I spent the evening trying to get into her panties.

    I ran mild game, established alpha cred during group convo, teased her a little bit, but because of the group’s dynamics, I lacked the balls to isolate her and get it over with. I had to wait for an opportunity, which presented itself when she was playing at the billiard table.

    She was holding a cue. I came close to her and started to talk (give or take one word):

    Me: “I’ve seen a movie the other day, where a guy tries to seduce an attractive girl by making hum… unappropriate contact at the pool table…”

    Her (smiling): “What was the movie?”

    Me: “(Shit, I made it up, and it sounds like fucking porn…) It was a rather old movie on TV. I might look up the title. The point is that I found that unworthy of a gentleman. A gentleman has to ask permission first.”

    Her (smiling again): “Pemission for what?”

    Me: “Do you consent to take pool lessons from me?”

    Her: “mmm Ok…”

    Me: “Good. (Holding her hands from behind, gently grinding, almost whispering to her ears) You understand now that this was a trap. I was only looking for an excuse to hold you closely. But before you cry for help, you have to ask me why I’m doing this”

    Her (giggling): “Why are you doing this?”

    Me (I’ve been alternating between holding her arms, her waist, her hips, NOT HER TITS betas): “I want to be able to touch you, smell you, ravish you. And I want to know that you like it. You see, many guys can hold a girl like this while she is playing pool. But they will do it in an awkward way, and the girl might be creeped out, but she could also be attracted to the guy. She could be wanting him to take her, to own her. But he wouldn’t talk. She would be desperate for him to say something. But he doesn’t know what to say. I, on the other hand, know exactly, what I’m going to say…”

    Her: (heavily breathing, I must have hit the right chords): “What are you going to say?”

    Me (letting her go, stepping back, eye movement to the pool); “Aim right”.


    I liked the effect, she was smiling and literally shaking. One minute later, I caught her biting her under lip and staring at me, which basically means “I want to eat your cock”. She had the opportunity to do just that a little bit later.

    The beauty of Game is that it could save your life. If I tried a move like this a few years ago, with beta mumbling, a creepy vibe and a raging boner, I would be sitting in jail right now for sexual assault.


    • That was a sweet tale Matador. Nicely turned.

      Shows how even as inveterate a nice guy as I sense you must be (that’s praise) can learn to manipulate his paw into the honey.

      Again, good job.


    • Olympic level game. I’m raising my 10.0 card.


    • “I want to be able to touch you, smell you, ravish you.”

      This is sexy?

      [heartiste: words that sound sexy in real life when the girl is standing there hearing it fall upon her ears will often sound awkward in print. context, and nonverbal cues, matter.]

      I think it’s boring/creepy … But I’m not prime pussy so don’t listen to me.


      “You see, many guys can hold a girl like this while she is playing pool. But they will do it in an awkward way, and the girl might be creeped out, but she could also be attracted to the guy. She could be wanting him to take her, to own her. But he wouldn’t talk. She would be desperate for him to say something. But he doesn’t know what to say. I, on the other hand, know exactly, what I’m going to say…”

      Gets even more boring …

      And then the “weak 8” was eating your cock the same evening you met her 🙂 Or was she your friend? 😀 (“I was recently with a group of friends. One of them was a 9 (she turned out to be a weak 8…)”)


      • on December 28, 2011 at 11:54 am John Norman Howard

        Apparently this tale was not as impressive to the distaff side of the forum. 🙄


      • so maya, how many pool halls are you going to be trolling today?


      • “[ok.]”

        I only said it because here they usually say that my opinion is irrelevant because I’m not young or hot and therefore not the kind of girl they would be interested in. And I don’t agree with the idea that it only matters what young or hot girls think … I believe that all women are very similar so those of us who are ugly&old can also give good comments about what we like or not … Idk.

        [heartiste: as they age, women, and men for that matter, never truly diverge that much from the innate sexual desires they’ve had since puberty. however, one particular claim made by older women does noticeably clash with what younger women seek out, and that is the desire for an aloof asshole. as women age and their market options dwindle, they do seem to slowly become less tolerant of the loving ministrations of assholes. this is likely an evolved conditioned response to a rapidly closing fertility window, wherein it becomes paramount for the older woman to find and extract commitment from a niceguy beta provider who won’t dump her as soon as the next available young hottie bats her eyelashes at him.]


      • Could be true … Do you think it’s smart to start looking for a niceguy beta as soon as possible

        [heartiste: can you survive a loveless relationship?]

        and try to ignore assholes (who are not interested in love anyway)?

        [assholes certainly are interested in love. you must be mistaking them for emotionless sperglords and psychopaths.]


      • [heartiste: can you survive a loveless relationship?]

        You’re saying it’s impossible to fall in love with a nice guy?

        [heartiste: i’m saying if you’re going to settle for a niceguy beta you may risk missing out on love.]

        [assholes certainly are interested in love. you must be mistaking them for emotionless sperglords and psychopaths.]

        Look, I have my own definition of love. It only includes one man and it lasts forever.

        [that’s because you’re a girl. and a hopeless romantic. nttawwt.]

        “Alpha” assholes probably have their own definition that includes falling in love with a new girl every month …

        [maybe. it also includes falling in love with a girl for a long long time.]


      • “[heartiste: i’m saying if you’re going to settle for a niceguy beta you may risk missing out on love.]”

        But if I choose not to settle I risk staying alone forever. Also, I’m really surprised by your advice since you’re the one who’s telling us all the time that we have to learn to settle …

        [heartiste: love > settling > being alone. hth.]

        “[maybe. it also includes falling in love with a girl for a long long time.]”

        That’s even worse!

        [only in your warped brain, dear twisted trollqueen maya.]

        I know a girl who was dumped at the age of 33. He replaced her for a 21 y.o. That’s much worse than dumping a girl after one month.

        [long long time can mean a lifetime. hth, again.]


      • “[heartiste: love > settling > being alone. hth.]”

        I see. I agree with you 100%. One more question. At what age it is wise to start thinking about settling? Late twenties is a good age, isn’t it? It’s better to settle earlier when you still have more options … Only now I realized that settling is actually a very good idea. I don’t want to stay alone. But where should I make compromises? I want good genes (he shouldn’t be more stupid or uglier than I am), good personality (honest, kind, compassionate, moral, not depressed, not addicted) and social status not lower than mine. I would be equally happy with a guy who’s a bit ugly, stupid and old but has higher social status instead (and by social status I mean power not money). Also, I’d be happy with someone who’s low-status but is handsome, sociable and fun. Is there anything I should cross out? My list is pretty long and if I find someone with all these qualities this won’t be settling but finding Mr. Perfect I think … Sorry for too many questions but you’re helping me sooo much and I’d appreciate if you replied again)

        “[long long time can mean a lifetime. hth, again.]”

        OK, I see … But does this mean you’re constantly anxious then because you DON’T KNOW whether he wants to be with you for a long long time or just for a long time? He can always fall in love with someone younger!


      • Maya wrote: “‘I want to be able to touch you, smell you, ravish you.’ This is sexy?”

        Maya wrote above: “Saying ‘I will rape you’ (in a very non-direct way, of course) is the sexiest thing I can imagine.”

        I retract my retraction above. What did you think “ravish” meant, ESL?

        I blame myself, imagining it possible for a woman to be consistent, even within the space of a couple comment posts.

        Matador’s words are nigh irrelevant. Body language is all. No kidding you are “bored” by the words.

        Mercy, babydoll, you need to get fucked, and hard. The act of charity might remind you how to be a woman.


      • i didn’t know the word ‘ravish’. thanks for the link.

        about matador’s line … i don’t like it because he said “i want to be able to …”, instead of “i want to …” or “i will …” His line sounds too insecure i think, but of course this is just my ESL mind so i now realized that i can’t really comment that.


    • Bro I think *I’m* turned on.


    • I chuckled at this.

      Well played!
      Saving this one.


    • While we’re on the subject, I used this last night to great effect: http://dangerandplay.wordpress.com/2011/12/26/how-to-choke-a-woman/


    • *preen*

      Nice feedback, thx y’all.


  15. How would the following place in the list you made?

    1. Accept the drink
    2. Loudly say “Oooh, thanks!”
    3. Gulp it down before she has time to turn away

    If the timing is right, it would disrupt her skedaddle, and hilarity would surely ensue. Granted, this would require good reflexes and fast thinking.

    If she does manage to make a runner before you can gulp it down, see nmbr 4.


  16. Ha- I’ve done this on many occasions. This could be a new way to scam drinks off of girls- pose as a beta drink holder. Then gulp gulp. Also, the nega-beta or alpha in beta clothing thing might turn them on a lot.


  17. “an artillery shell loaded with toxic vagina gas”



  18. Reminds me of the, much worse, request to hold a chick’s purse.

    I believe it was comedian Alonzo Boden that gave this tip to avoid being handed a purse…

    immediately begin digging through it. You’ll never be asked to hold the purse again.


    • Where do girls hand their purse to guys they don’t know rather well? Talk about laydown.


    • Aghhh… I asked this guy I’ve been seeing to hold my bag the other day while we were out. We were walking through a slushy parking lot and I needed to readjust my dog’s leash, so putting my bag down was not an option. I apologized profusely for asking him to do so, but he was quite charming and made a few jokes about it. Clearly, I was more concerned about it than he was. However, if he had started rifling through it, I would’ve cracked up. Definitely would not have helped to be laughing while trying to fix my dog’s leash.

      (Sidebar… This guy and I have been FWB for 2 years now. When I met him, he was a small-town boy that, at 24, had only had 1 girlfriend and 2 partners and was looking for a girlfriend. (I had/have no desire to be in a relationship.) I put a damn lot of effort into training him and he’s now a total nice-guy player who REGULARLY nails very hot chicks very shortly after meeting them. (I know this only because we often have, uhm, “playdates” if you will.) I had no idea that I what I was teaching him was called “game” until I started reading PUA blogs. Heh… Funny.)

      (Sidebar 2… I have a 90# well trained German shepherd, not some 5# crazy yappy chihuahua. Chihuahuas and other small dogs are no different than being the crazy cat lady, in my opinion.)

      tl;dr crowd: Great suggestion… I would find someone (a friend!) rifling through my purse to be pretty funny.


  19. Hey, you didn’t ask me not to drink it.


  20. I am confused: where on planet is it not rude for a woman to ask a guy to wait for her return while holding her glass while she goes flirting with other guys?
    I am not sure why Alex even feels guilty about it.
    If that woman would have come back whining about her empty glass, I would have been glad to take her out of her pedestal by mentioning how rude of her to leave me to go on the dance floor.


    • Yeah, I don’t understand this either. I can understand if she asks nicely because she needs to adjust her shoe or something, but to go and flat out just walk away? That’s ridic. I’m fully on-board with the holder drinking the holdee’s beverage.


  21. on December 27, 2011 at 9:58 pm The Pederastic God

    It’s true. Assholery is the only way. 100% asshole


  22. I’m reminded of a time when a male friend and I accompanied another male friend’s girlfriend (now wife), and her female friend to a street fair. We approached a dance area, and I could see that the girlfriend/wife was getting excited. She had a purse, and wheeled round to unload it on a man. I instantly backed WAY off, anticipating her move.

    “Will you hold this for me?”

    Male friend: “uh… okay.”

    Male friend is stuck holding the bag. I win the day.


    • So, Sinead O’Connor’s marriage lasted just 16 days?

      [heartiste: no surprise there. 16 days is 16 too many for even a desperate beta loser to look at sinead’s horrid aged visage.]


  23. Best line I heard and I now use it went like this…

    I saw a Japanaese mother in my neighborhood walking with her son.

    The son asked his mother to hold something like a bag or somethign he was carrying.

    Son: It’s heavy.

    Japanese mother: Heavy for mommy too….

    I use this line whenever I get the same shit test;

    Girl: can you hold/carry this, it’s heavy

    Me: Heavy for me too…/my hands are full


    • Yea bro.

      But you know wot, as beta as uh is at the club, on the street he doesn’t give a fuck.

      If he’s walking with a girl and he is carrying the object, he will unload it on her.

      “Carry this — I look awkward with it.” Girl assumes burden.


      Being haughty works. Most days, it’s a triumph I don’t push bitches into oncoming traffic just for not stepping out of my fucking way on the sidewalk.


  24. Do you guys ever stop to think that maybe, just MAYBE, not all girls asking you to hold their drinks are manipulatively shit testing you? Sometimes we might just actually need someone to hold our drink for a second while we look for something in our purse, put our jacket on, etc.

    [heartiste: context matters. but you knew that.
    and anyhow, have you never heard of a bar to place your fuckin drink on?]

    I sometimes ask my girlfriends to hold my drink, am I shit-testing them?

    [for a good time holding drinks, call lalady. she’s apparently afflicted with alligator arms.]

    Now, if she asks you to hold her drink and then runs off to the dance floor, that’s called being rude, and there are rude people of both sexes.

    [in the initial stages of courtship, and in mating arenas in general, women are far and away the ruder sex.]

    Question is, why would you want to date a rude person in the first place?

    [maybe we just want to fuck her brains out and call it a night?]


    • “Now, if she asks you to hold her drink and then runs off to the dance floor, that’s called being rude, and there are rude people of both sexes.”

      White women: spreading oxytocin everywhere equally like toxic manure since 1919.


    • on December 28, 2011 at 9:26 am John Norman Howard

      Lalady, I think you just got the mark of the Z etched into your backside.


    • So does asking a guy to hold your purse qualify as a shit test, when a woman knows that it’s emasculating for a guy?

      Better yet, does drawing attention to holding a drink for a girl and casting doubt upon a subcommunicated shit test, she may or may not even be conscious of, not qualify as a shit test itself?

      I run rings around you logically.


      • Doesn’t matter, I say.

        I’m not holding any woman’s purse, no matter what. And I’m not holding her fucking drink either.


    • If it seems there’s a legit reason she needs you to hold her drink and there’s nobody else to do it, you can always get her to do something first, such as “quack like a duck for me.” i.e. I’ll jump through your hoop if you jump through first.

      And this is necessary, because even if the reason is legit her vagina will still resent you for complying.


  25. Can’t remember if it was “Fletch” or “Caddy Shack”…

    “I’d love to, but… I don’t really want to”


    Or, disappear with the drink. When she finds you give it back and tell her you only shot ONE load into it for her. Heh.


  26. [heartiste: context matters. but you knew that.
    and anyhow, have you never heard of a bar to place your fuckin drink on?] I was thinking of situations where there isn’t a bar handy, like a dance floor or while walking from one location to another. But, if there’s a bar handy and a girl asks you to hold her drink, why not just chill out, take it, and set it on the bar yourself?

    [heartiste: if she’s my gf, no prob. if she’s a girl i just met, i consider such a request a shit test. and treat it accordingly, often to my benefit.]

    The only thing worse than a beta that’s willing to acquiesce to a rude girl’s unreasonable demands is a bitter beta that’s trying too hard.

    [for a good time holding drinks, call lalady. she’s apparently afflicted with alligator arms.] Maybe, but I promise to not be a bitch about holding your drink in return!

    [in the initial stages of courtship, and in mating arenas in general, women are far and away the ruder sex.] Beside the point, but if asked me to hold his drink and then ran off, I’d probably gulp it down too. Then I’d stop talking to him.

    [maybe we just want to fuck her brains out and call it a night?] Sure, but if she’s that selfish, once you get back to her place, she’ll probably let you go down on her, then she’ll be “too tired” to return the favor. Sounds like fun!


  27. What should you do if she puts her drink on the bar and asks/tells you to _watch_ her drink?

    [heartiste: i like the “would you like GHB or rohypnol in it?” line]


  28. on December 28, 2011 at 3:07 am Charlesz Martel

    Or you could just give the drink to another, hotter girl! That would be quite the asshole coup!


  29. “Hey, you drank it! That’s rude!”

    “Yeah, buy me a [proper male drink] next.”


  30. Off the topic yet relevant…….an old lady cannot continue a doomed marriage for log.



  31. I got laid last Christmas Eve. One thing I did, that I think was pretty sweet, was grab her drink early on and start drinking it.

    She said, “Oh, is that how it’s going to be?”
    I replied, “Yep!”

    I think she was pretty amazed on how forward I was. She was a really successful business woman, with a really nice apartment, and a really soft bed.


  32. yeah this article is so lame it is actually beta in itself.

    [heartiste: that was…. so funny.]


  33. Her asking you to hold her drink is a rapport break. As a rule, whenever women give men a rapport break, the default response should be a rapport break of your own. This is the core essence of how you handle shit tests. The three most common forms of this are:

    1. Agree & Amplify (to absurdity)
    2. Change the subject
    3. Ignore her

    All three of these examples are varying degrees of rapport breaks. The quip about polishing her slippers is a mix of ‘agree & amplify’ and ‘changing the subject’.


  34. Hear ye, as usual.

    The interesting thing is that the friends I have who really need these bits of wisdom, never actually read this blog, even though I strongly suggest it. Maybe the sheeple wants to remain blind to the harsh realities.

    Meanwhile, it’s been over a solid year of active self improvement. No more just getting by on natural talent, being content as the amateur at the game of life.

    These days girls are find me other chicks to sleep with, just to keep me from cheating on them: http://two.cedonulli.com/2011/12/you-have-another-girl/


  35. Ultimate shit test…Check out the opening scene to The Sitter..

    Shlubby Jonah Hill is going down on his fuck-buddy who is cumming hard…he finishes and she said….wait for it…

    “My mom was so right, nice guys really do eat the best pussy”…


  36. I heard about a guy who pulled the “drink her drink” move – it turned out another guy had already doped the drink. The doper, who was watching from the sidelines, tried to stop the drinker, but to no avail. A fistfight ensued. The doper shuffled off, never to return; the drinker’s buddies got him home safely. The girl found an alpha for the night and only found out what had happened later.

    Also, I knew a hopeless beta once who was asked to hold the purse when the girl saw some cops coming. Beta then spent 6 months in jail for cocaine possession…in the purse. His lame protests fell on deaf ears – nobody likes or respects purse-holding betas.

    Now, when I’m asked to hold a purse: “No thanks; I don’t need to be arrested for your cocaine”. If she denies she has drugs, then I say “so, it is OK if I search your purse then? Open it up – on the w(hole), I’d rather be searching your panties.”


  37. on December 28, 2011 at 9:25 am John Norman Howard

    Nowadays, any woman who hands a man (especially one she doesn’t really know) her drink and then walks away is a woman with even littler sense than is normally found in her ilk… which is saying something.

    Certainly not LTR material… and with STDs rampant, perhaps not even shag-worthy… unless maybe you want to pick up some other guy’s microbes.



  38. Alternative:

    her – “Hold my drink”

    take drink. Drink drink. grimace.

    you (if she hasn’t left yet, or when she returns) “Get me a scotch next time, I don’t care for martinis”


    • That is a good one.

      Yes, say “Thanks” and drink it. Preferably in front of her. She gave it to you so it was a gift. Choose to interpret it that way and respond accordingly.

      Any kind of “you drank my drink” from her “What? I was supposed to just hold it?” start laughing as if she’s an idiot “That’s ridiculous!”

      #5 is vindictive. It indicates you knew what she was up to and acquiesced. Scratch that.

      [heartiste: makes me think of that great scene from ‘there will be blood’. “hey, you drank it!” “that’s right, baby. I DRINK YOUR DRINK! I DRINK IT UP!”]


  39. On occasion being handed something is also a way for a girl to mark her territory/signal her friends… but even though it’s not most of the time, I still like to get handed shit… cuz I’m devilish.


  40. My God, talk about over-analyzing.

    Sometimes holding a drink is just holding a drink.

    [heartiste: when it’s your own.]


  41. Or, conversely, take the drink (if it’s not half-finished) and offer it to the next convenient pretty girl in front of the first girl, saying loudly, “She’s cut off now because she can’t handle her buzz. But you look like you know how to handle a big-girl drink. What’s your name, sweetness?”

    If you do it right, the first girl will turn bright red and retreat . . . and it provides a convenient opening to greener pastures.


  42. text game.

    29 yr old hipster. (half yid.)


    me: let’s have the number now.
    she: xxx-xxx-xxxx.
    (call late. no answer, of course.)
    she today: i put my phone on silent at night. selfish i know.
    me: uh.
    she: what did you want to say?
    me: wanted to ask about your avoidant personality?


  43. I think the Chateau will get a kick out of this vid.


  44. Anyone here ever asked a girl to hold his drink while he went off to the dance floor to dance/chat with a hotter chick?

    Might be worth trying.


  45. A peek into the souls of beautiful girls who can’t help falling for men who ignore them.

    they dream like Ralph Lauren ads? Hint to the whiteknightomegadrones, she’s not singing about that one guy who really really got her and remembered that she likes daisies.


  46. Interesting timing. Recently at a holiday party at a friends place and a girl I had been chatting up placed her glass of wine in my hand and said “be right back”. Without thinking I grabbed it and immediately started drinking it. She came back a minute later and I handed her the near empty glass and said “how many roofies does it usually take, because I only had 2 to spare”. Deadpan delivery. She took the glass looked a little nervous then started laughing. She asked where her drink went and I told her the dog must have drank it while smirking. As for the poster above and joking about rape, well great minds think alike.


  47. Last girl I seriously dated caught me off guard with, “Would you hold my purse?”, thrusting it into my hands as she ran off. I realized my blunder immediately as my hands grasped the flimsy straps. She was mostly an obedient, good girl, but I didn’t want to start a bad trend. She came back a minute later and gasped at her purse, which I had dropped to the ground. My response: “The fuck, you want to hold my jock strap?”

    I broke up with her months ago and she still sends me lovey-dovey texts. Assholery ftw!


  48. (Put this on previous post by mistake)

    This happens rarely to me but in these situations I like to draw the moment out for as long as possible. It’s a situation where I can distinguish myself. I do the following:

    *Bint holds drink out* (Note: this is not a GF bint. Just a club bint.)

    “Here. Can you hold this for a sec?”

    I make laser like eye contact with her and say nothing. It’s important that you only move your eyes. This reaction is meant to be a non-reaction. Keep your body relaxed but just narrow your eyes a bit and lock them in.

    There’s a few things that happen now: After a while she’ll either get frustrated and put the drink down somewhere or keep holding it, or she will thrust it forward or say something challenging. At this point I say this:


    It sounds simple but it’s not. There’s a facial expression involved here. It’s sort of like “I didn’t hear you, can you repeat that?” Or: “How fucking dare you you woman. Do you not know you are talking to a man?” A mixture of the two. “Ah?” There’s an unspoken “Excuse me?” that comes afterwards.

    This is good because I’m not annoyed. I’m just a little bit shocked that the woman would think that this is something she can do. Also, in her mind, she can tell herself something like “Oh he didn’t hear me” to counteract any negative femfuck reflux she might get.


    I say it loudly and thrust my jaw out a bit. “Ah?”

    Turn the corners of your mouth down a bit throughout.

    This may not make sense to anyone but me but this is how my face sort of looks when I say this. Obviously not as exaggerated (or, indeed, comical):


  49. Didn’t read the thread but you forgot play. You know have fun. You play take away with the girl. Hold it out pulll back as she reaches for it. Or once I took our beer bottles and pretended to do like a two card monty and switch our obviously different bottles. Alpha means sometimes rolling with the punches and not antagonizing someone.


  50. How about a little bad hearing humor?

    “Try your drink?” Take a sip in front of her. “Not bad.” Hand back to her.

    “Do you stink? Not at all! Why would you ask that?” Don’t take drink 😉


  51. Personally, I wouldn’t down it in one (probably too asshole-y?) But instead start sipping it (slowly, like you would your own)