When It Goes South

You can’t expect to sleep with every girl you decide to approach. Even though I’m batting .998, I understand that we don’t live in a perfect world. There will be times when a girl won’t win me over and I’ll have to chalk it up as an anomaly. When a conversation goes south your first instinct will often be the wrong one. After a crash and burn, many guys will awkwardly stand idly around the uncomfortable girl, looking dazed and confused. Other guys will lash out. Some will display beta body language as they meekly excuse themselves. Still others will freeze up, hoping for rescue by a wingman or tornado warning.

When a girl has failed your screening, your reaction should depend on the circumstances in which you first opened or approached her.

  • You walked up to her from across the room

The worst thing you can do is hover around her, like an orbiting chunk of beta space debris, as she unceremoniously turns her back on you. I can’t think of a situation that would make your value plummet any faster, except maybe sharting yourself in public and then crying as someone hands you a wet nap.

Solution: Walk away if no one else you can talk to is nearby. But do it slowly and deliberately. Scooting off like a golfer running for shelter in a storm exposes your shame and urge to find relief. If you had a tail, it would be between your legs. Walking away slowly, head up back straight, shows you are unaffected by the tension. If there’s another girl nearby you’d like to talk to, do that instead. Nothing is more alpha in the face of a crash and burn than turning around to start an animated conversation with another girl. There’s no more effective way to say “I JUST DON’T GIVE A SHIT”.

Problems to look out for: If your failed pickup attempt was seen by other girls there is a risk the perception of betaness will infect them like a social virus. Girls are highly attuned to the body language of other girls, so if your target turns cold and crosses her arms any other girls who witnessed it will automatically lower your value, making further pickups in the same place more difficult. Realistically, though, most girls will be absorbed in their own conversations and won’t notice. If you’re worried about it, approach your next girl on the other side of the room. Eventually, your approaches should follow a pattern resembling a game of Pickle.

  • She sat down next to you

She’s on your turf, so all the power rests with you.

Solution: Relax, do nothing. If she fails to impress you, the burden is entirely on her to alleviate her discomfort by either moving away or dealing with it. There is no loss of value if you hold your ground.

Problems to look out for: If you’re sitting alone, and she’s with a large group of people having a good time, your manly presence will shrink in comparison. Sometimes it’s intriguing to be that solitary mysterious cool lone wolf; sometimes it’s not.

  • You’re with a group and she happened to be standing nearby

Walking away is unnecessary in this situation, since your friends are right there to return to after a bad opening.

Solution: Swing right around and go back to talking with your friends. Make a game of it! Loudly proclaim, being sure she can overhear, how badly she failed to make a love connection with you and ask your friends for a group hug. Announce with exaggerated drama that you don’t know how you will be able to move on.

Problems to look out for: Your drunk friend decides to re-open the girl you just bombed with and drags her uncomfortably back into the fray.

  • You approached her in a store or on the street

Any failed pickups in public are easily resolved. Just go back to whatever you were supposedly doing. It will be entirely plausible.

Solution: If you hit on her in the museum and the conversation fizzled, walk away to admire another painting. If you hit on her in Beadazzled pretending to look for beads to make a bracelet for your little niece (not that I’ve ever done anything like that) resume a look of concentration and go back to shopping for beads.

Problems to look out for: None. Failed public approaches have almost zero consequences.

  • She’s the bartender at your favorite bar

Dangerous. Either fuck her or don’t return until you can parade another chick in front of her.

Solution: If you really flame out, you may have to avoid the bar for a while. Otherwise, be cheeky about it and ask her, since you’re a solid customer with a track record of generous tipping, if she can be your wingwoman for that cute girl sitting on the other side of the bar.

Problems to look out for: Making the male bartenders jealous.





Comments


  1. on August 7, 2008 at 5:02 pm Patrick Bateman

    “I JUST DON’T GIVE A SHIT”

    This is what it all boils down to. Once you get to the point that you really don’t give a shit, much of the rest comes natural.

    I went to donate blood the other day and this cute chick comes in a minute after me. I’m sitting down reading the packet they gave me and I see that there are 3 places for her to sit. One right next to me and two across the hall. If she sits next to me, she wants me to talk to her. She sits next to me and we start talking, she tells me about her stupid tattoo, cluck, cluck cluck. I tell her I’m done reading and going into the waiting area and I tell an unfunny joke, she laughs. Good sign. A few minutes later she comes into the waiting area. There’s a seat next to me and a few a couple rows back. She sits in one of the other seats. Okay, she fails. This was an easy one. But it turns out she’s not supposed to sit back there so she has to get up and sit next to me. Too bad bitch, you failed the test. A friend of hers comes in and they end up pulling me into the conversation. Turns out I do the grading for a class they’re in. I couldn’t have fucked her anyway.

    Like


  2. Patrick,

    I thought you had a wife picked out already?

    Like


  3. this stuff is pure gold.

    Like


  4. Great post that brings up a ton of interesting points. Here are two:

    “She sat down next to you”

    – This is advanced Game. So many “pick up artists” are out there trying to tell people how to pick up girls. True G’s get girls to pickup on them. That’s True Game.

    “Sometimes it’s intriguing to be that solitary mysterious cool lone wolf; sometimes it’s not.”

    True. Crappy bars ie sports bars and bars with more guys than girls you don’t want to be the lone wolf. Or really be in those kind of bars altogether.

    In the right spots ie spots with beautiful girls, quality girls and places with more girls than guys, or at least a decent ratio and some sensual overtones, Going for Dolo has always been the way.

    – MPM

    Like


  5. on August 7, 2008 at 5:51 pm Kick a Bitch

    Solution: kick a bitch

    Like


  6. on August 7, 2008 at 5:55 pm SeaFighter HSV (as VK)

    Gawd dam son! I tried to pick up this girl with a phatty so I just slapped her with my junk. Wait what?

    Like


  7. If you’re batting a .998 then why haven’t we heard of the herpes pandemic in DC yet?

    Like


  8. I went to donate blood the other day

    Roissy himself would be donating sperm.

    Like


  9. “Your drunk friend decides to re-open the girl you just bombed with and drags her uncomfortably back into the fray.”

    this is the most annoying thing about hanging out with guys who just don’t get it. they’ll make all your mistakes for you: buy girls drinks, give them unearned compliments, apologize for you when you’re giving her shit.

    how do you handle that? do pull them aside and try to make them understand? do you tool them in front of the girl?

    Like


  10. That last one sounds like a real pickle. Whatever would you do??

    Like


  11. Jesus. This requires a lot of cognitive effort. Do you really invest this much in being a PUA? Aren’t you exhausted of this?

    Like


  12. on August 7, 2008 at 6:27 pm Patrick Bateman

    @#2 Brandy
    I thought you had a wife picked out already?

    That doesn’t mean I deny other girls the pleasures of my phallus. I love my girlfriend and I’m buying her the ring and proposing next spring, but I can’t go the rest of my life with only one girl to fuck. She understands my needs and turns a blind eye to my womanizing.

    @#8 Peter
    Roissy himself would be donating sperm.

    If there was a sperm bank in my area, I would already be donating. Though it’s not really a donation because they pay you. The requirements are stringent but I’m pretty sure I meet them.

    @#9 lance
    We ignore him and the bitch. He still manages to get himself laid. Though he doesn’t believe in game and makes a lot of the wrong moves, he also doesn’t give a shit and it shows.

    She’s the bartender at your favorite bar.

    As long as you didn’t come on really strong, it shouldn’t be a problem. They’re used to getting hit on all the time and you gave her an out that saves both of you from humiliation if you have even decent game.

    Like


  13. patrick bateman, I always read you comments with interest. Do you think you can broadly speak more about yourself, for context? Education background, job path, etc. Are you getting a PhD in physics?

    Like


  14. on August 7, 2008 at 6:45 pm Gunslingergregi

    Redhead,
    The intelligent have to do something to want to stay here.

    Like


  15. @redhead

    life requires a lot of cognitive effort, unless you happen to be born with all the right instincts. few are. you’ve got two choices: change and become aware, or just keep sleepwalking.

    Like


  16. on August 7, 2008 at 6:49 pm Usually Lurking

    Jesus. This requires a lot of cognitive effort. Do you really invest this much in being a PUA? Aren’t you exhausted of this?

    redhead, would you ask the same of a father (or mother) who invest tremendous amounts of energy, time and money into their families?

    I understand that the one pursuit is more noble than the other, but, with the specter of losing your house, paying alimony, child-support and begging the judge for child-visitation rights, well, at least you have fun and freedom in the pursuit of pretty young things.

    Like


  17. Bateman,

    With the stakes so low, of course it is easy for you to follow your own advice and not care about the outcome.

    Like


  18. If you’re batting a .998 then why haven’t we heard of the herpes pandemic in DC yet?

    Speaking of…SeaFighter, what’s with the acronym?

    Like


  19. on August 7, 2008 at 8:24 pm Patrick Bateman

    @#13 donkey kong

    I’ve got time to kill while I wait for different departments at my university to finish playing hot potato with an application they have to approve before I can send it to the agency.
    I won’t reveal anything beyond what I’ve already written on this blog.

    I did my undergraduate work at a huge state school. I’m 24 and getting a Ph.D. in physics at a top school. In undergrad, I was a fucking star. In grad school, I’m nothing special, just keeping up the middle of the curve, still smarter than most of the students outside of physics though. I am a theorist. I plan to work in either consulting or finance. I grew up in the Bronx and I lived in Florida for about 10 years. I’ve been with the same girlfriend for almost 6 years. She’s earning a professional degree and will be finished around the same time I defend my dissertation.

    This alone is enough for an obsessive psychopathic cyber stalker to find me. If I told you my sub-field, you could find me easily.

    Like


  20. on August 7, 2008 at 8:26 pm Patrick Bateman

    @17 Brandy
    What are you talking about? What stakes are low?

    Like


  21. on August 7, 2008 at 8:32 pm Problem Drinker

    That last one sounds like a real pickle. Whatever would you do??

    Hitting on the help is something that should be avoided, but YMMV.

    Like


  22. Bateman,

    If you already have someone – you can take it or leave it as far as other women are concerned. They’re just icing on the cake. It’s easy not to care.

    Like


  23. on August 7, 2008 at 8:46 pm Patrick Bateman

    Brandy

    Having one woman makes it easier to get more. Pussy grows exponentially. Every asshole needs a girlfriend. Right now I need to find a new #2, keep two in the kitty, as Roissy advises.

    Like


  24. #9 “this is the most annoying thing about hanging out with guys who just don’t get it. they’ll make all your mistakes for you: buy girls drinks, give them unearned compliments, apologize for you when you’re giving her shit.

    how do you handle that? do pull them aside and try to make them understand? do you tool them in front of the girl?”

    – Easy. Roll Solo. Or push your friend down a nightclub staircase when no one is looking.

    – MPM

    Like


  25. Approaching a group of girls sitting down…. … not worth it 99% of the time.

    Like


  26. Roosh,

    “Approaching a group of girls sitting down…. … not worth it 99% of the time.”

    These things will up your odds:

    You need to be feeling extremely good when approaching a group of girls sitting down. Get a big workout in. Enter the Dragon. You need to feel bulletproof.

    Outside venues around the beach during summertime, have a lot higher percentages than in winter in an indoor bar when approaching a group of girls sitting down.

    Walk up smoking a cigarette. Very important.

    Be on an really clean Dutch Extacy Pill. This ups your conversion rate to about 99% successful when approaching a group of girls sitting down.

    – MPM

    Like


  27. Approaching a group of girls sitting down…. … not worth it 99% of the time.

    I agree. It’s like there is some stone wall just because there chair is facing there friends, they can’t hold attention anywhere else. The only exception I’ve found is if its lunchtime and in a public place (park), but bring a wingman.

    I’d also like to add any type of approach for 2+ girls dancing (dancing up on them, trying to say hi, breaking out Chris Brown-like moves, etc) is also not worth it 99% of the time.

    Like


  28. @22: When you have nothing, EVERYTHING is icing on the cake. Why should you care when you have no options as opposed to when you do? When you do have a girl, even one who agrees to your seductions, there’s always a chance she’ll get too jealous or it’ll be the straw that broke the camel’s back. As a totally single man, you literally have nothing to to lose and everything to gain.

    @26: I can’t say that I know what Roosh meant, but when I say I feel groups sitting down are not worth it, I mean that the perceived value they have is not great enough to justify the extra effort to establish the interest and juggling their whims. But one thing that I believe and has been handed down to me is that many ‘failures’ have more to do with logistics than they do with you or your skills. In that vein, I tend to look for the logistically ripe women.

    Like


  29. I tend to look for the logistically ripe women.

    And they say romance is dead.

    “I want to work your supply chain until you’ve achieved market saturation.”

    Like


  30. “I tend to look for the logistically ripe women.”

    – Makes sense. I agree with that.

    I look beautiful women.

    – MPM

    Like


  31. Approaching a group of girls sitting down…. … not worth it 99% of the time.

    Find a place to sit near them. Ignore them _totally_ while sitting down. Pretend to text for 3-5 minutes. Open.

    Like


  32. on August 8, 2008 at 12:54 am SeaFighter HSV

    H: High
    S: Speed
    V: Vessel

    AKA

    F: Fast
    S: Sea
    F: Frame

    Like


  33. on August 8, 2008 at 2:27 am Kick a Bitch

    what he’s saying is… he’s as queer as a $3 football bat and enjoys touching peters

    and getting ass-slammed

    Like


  34. Pupu thinks that Roissy’s advice can be generalized to serve both sexes. A bar or a club, like a dog park, is a mating range. Postures and positions are critical. Boys and gals should poop and pee strategically and save their ammunitions if necessary so as to maximize their overall exposure.

    Like


  35. What’s a game of pickle?

    Like


  36. I know a guy who’s an uber-nerd rocket scientist –I mean an actual rocket scientist for NASA.

    Despite his social blindspots, he’s got this Aspergerish, absolute indifference to female rejection. He’s like a cue ball bouncing off the rail before colliding with a stripe, and then with a solid, finally coming to rest next to a stripe. Bouncing off all this stuff seems not to faze him in the slightest. It’s in his nature, as it is in the cue ball.

    In college, we were out one night drinking when my friend happened to spot at another table some girls he’d “known” (i.e. attended classes with) in high school. He immediately approached their table, sat down without invitation, and waved the rest of us over. As he was doing so, we could see the girls turning away and rolling their eyes.

    Having inserted himself between two of these girls, and having made what he judged to be the requisite amount of small talk, he quickly got to the point by turning to the girl on his left and asking, “So, you wanna go out next Friday night?”

    As I’ve said, he suffers from certain social handicaps, and this blunt-edged approach is surely one of them. But the outcome was beautiful. As his intended victim concocted some lame, cliched excuse, and before she could even complete its second sentence, he simply turned to the girl on his right, and said, “So, how about you?”

    It was totally unself-conscious, unpremeditated, and represented a limited, though no less remarkable, nerdish triumph. Like the Mars rover, he’d registered an obstacle to one side, and was therefore simply seeking an avenue by which to advance on another. Absolutely no emotion was invloved.

    The guy isn’t fully human, but it was one of those scenes you long remember.

    Like


  37. on August 8, 2008 at 10:58 am monohechomierda

    “You can’t expect to sleep with every girl you decide to approach. Even though I’m batting .998, I understand that we don’t live in a perfect world. There will be times when a girl won’t win me over and I’ll have to chalk it up as an anomaly.”

    My favorite sentences that I’ve read this week. Or will probably read next week as well.

    Like


  38. #33, ryan

    he’s as queer as a $3 football bat

    this made my day.
    are you southern?

    Like


  39. #19

    I did my undergraduate work at a huge state school. I’m 24 and getting a Ph.D. in physics at a top school. In undergrad, I was a fucking star. In grad school, I’m nothing special, just keeping up the middle of the curve, still smarter than most of the students outside of physics though. I am a theorist. I plan to work in either consulting or finance. I grew up in the Bronx and I lived in Florida for about 10 years. I’ve been with the same girlfriend for almost 6 years. She’s earning a professional degree and will be finished around the same time I defend my dissertation.

    you forgot to mention other key biographical details, such as “…and i stick my fingers in my male friends’ mouths”.

    Like


  40. 39: Between this and the “Clap your hands (for Western medicine)” comment, johnny five is way ahead in this week’s Zingiest Comment race.

    Like


  41. on August 8, 2008 at 12:31 pm Patrick Bateman

    johnny five

    Are you stalking me? It’s creepy that you remember that. Do you want a phall… er…finger in your mouth?

    Like


  42. on August 8, 2008 at 2:20 pm Kick a Bitch

    @ 38 johnny five

    nah, i live in the south, but i am not southern…

    my friend dropped that on me one time and i have NEVER forgotten it. that shit is HILARIOUS!

    Like


  43. I come into DC about 4-6 times per year. I have a pretty decent record of liaisons there with high quality chicks. Many are becoming a bit more cougary, but my targets range in the 25-35 range . As a 42 y.o. professor of neuroscience with good game, I have a good angle.

    I always enjoy reading the step by step musings of Roissy. Its nice to see one’s own personal methods are not an aberration, but a product of years of forethought and practice on the part of a colleague so dedicated to fucking top tail. I salute your ongoing and hopefully neverending quest. FYI, it still works in your 40s, just keep marginally in shape and stay charming (and keep hair on top of your head for fucks sake).

    Dr. F

    Like


  44. on August 8, 2008 at 3:25 pm SovereignAmericanMale

    @43 Dr. Feelgood

    (and keep hair on top of your head for fucks sake).

    The Telly Sav. / Yule Brenner / Daddy Warbucks look works like a champ, if you have the requisite stocky build. Make sure to keep it tanned. (spray on if you are scared of skin cancer)

    Bruce Willis had his hair falling out bad, and rather then screw with the toupee, he went cue ball + ball caps.

    Don’t try the goatee with it, you come off as hillbilly or eurotrash.

    But of critical importance, don’t try comb overs just keep it all or lose it all.

    Like


  45. @ 44 SovereignAmericanMale

    (1) My apologies I should clarify: I agree, just dont go for Larry David male patterned baldness. Either take it all off, or shut down your game. I mean do whatever it takes to keep the head of hair you have. Rogaine it surgerize it, if you have it, keep it looking modern.

    (2) The goatee is a ruse. Its for guys getting fat and jowly and they use it to the slim the line of their face. Unless you are the sheriff of nottingham, forego the facial accessory.

    (3) Combover falls into the MPB category for me. Might as well comb your back hair over.

    As an aside, what do all of you think on this (sorry if this is off topic): As you look at men’s and women’s hair, my observation of those entering middle age is that they keep the hair they had when they had their sex heyday. Therefore, lots of cougars have the bad teased 80s hair, with whispy teased bangs. Dudes have the Gil Gerard a la Buck Rogers hair of the late 70s (am I SO dating myself here). Perhaps this should be a different thread… although Roissy’s opinion on this theorem would be appreciated).

    Dr F.– a.k.a. man whore

    Like


  46. Are you stalking me? It’s creepy that you remember that. Do you want a phall… er…finger in your mouth?

    patrick, i would bet good money that nary a single reader has forgotten that particular anecdote. not only is it outlandish, but it’s accompanied by particularly striking visual imagery – 2 factors that extend its half-life in readers’ minds to infinity.

    Like


  47. on August 8, 2008 at 6:38 pm Patrick Bateman

    johnny five

    I’m glad I can entertain. I don’t understand why that stretches the limits of credulity. That’s about 1.5-2 standard deviations above the mean on fuckedupedness. To be a grad student in physics at a top school, you need to be more like 3 deviations above the mean. Roissy probably attracts readers that are +1 sigma on each of these qualities. Trying to be objective about it, I would doubt my academic credentials more than my fuckedupedness.

    Like


  48. 44: Don’t try the goatee with it, you come off as hillbilly or eurotrash.

    Go for the Van Dyke, and keep it cropped and tidy. But only if you have a good jawline and high cheekbones.

    In fact, if you don’t have the bone structure for it, forego facial hair altogether.

    Like


  49. 1 Patrick

    There’s a seat next to me and a few a couple rows back. She sits in one of the other seats. Okay, she fails…But it turns out she’s not supposed to sit back there so she has to get up and sit next to me. Too bad bitch, you failed the test. ……..I couldn’t have fucked her anyway.

    Love your little story, but my interpretation is that she’s the winner. Or maybe you are one of the real honest types who spells out for them that they are nothing more than a pump and dump. If so, there’s nothing wrong with that. Then they are making a choice; like your finance/girlfriend who knows you fuck around with other women.

    Like


  50. on August 9, 2008 at 1:39 pm Patrick Bateman

    sara

    It’s all of matter of perspective, isn’t it? I say she loses because she won’t enjoy the pleasure of having my fist hit her cervix. She probably didn’t perceive herself as winning because it was obvious that I didn’t give a shit either way.

    Like


  51. 50

    That’s a very subjective opinion, Patrick. All I can say is that pleasure is not the be all and end all of human existence; is it? Even the supposedly intense pleasure of a Patrick Bateman fisting may not be worth losing self respect over. Just my subjective opinion.

    Like


  52. hello every1,
    this blog is so sad and pathetic, cant believe i wasted so much time here, yes wasted lol. Will u people please all get a life, please ur makin me feel sorry for ya, its just katie coming to say hi and bye lol. Will u guys please get real abt dating and stuff now, just settle down have a propa family remember u dnt wana die alone with no kids do u.

    Nd a bit of impt info: the chicks tht r really gud lukin compared 2 u, they r unlikely 2 stick with u unfortunately,unless ur completely monogomous nd have no male instincts lol.
    take care of urselves
    bye
    ps pls get a life, a real 1

    Like


  53. on August 9, 2008 at 5:47 pm Gunslingergregi

    umm from the list of shortened letter words seems like you may spend quite some time on the internets lol

    Like


  54. on August 9, 2008 at 5:53 pm Gunslingergregi

    But yea Katie that is why God made it fair and invented Asian woman so that us seemingly inferior guys would be allowed to worship and take care of a beautiful woman anyway and be worshipped in return. Oh and beauty that goes beyond skin deep.

    Like


  55. gunsling do u use sms, texting on a mobilephone, or cell phone abreviated words lets u fit more in, ok

    Like


  56. on August 10, 2008 at 10:15 am SovereignAmericanMale

    Sadly shakes his head at Katie. But the point is this: Your are not on a cell phone. Are you going to write your legal briefs text style?

    You should learn to do in rome as the romans do.

    Like


  57. 55 Katie

    Have you seen this? Dated, but cute if you haven’t

    http://www.marcandangel.com/2006/11/20/can-you-read-this/

    Just tell them all to fuck off, Katie. They love it. LOL

    Like


  58. on August 10, 2008 at 6:54 pm Gunslingergregi

    Sara they don’t love it when you tell them to “fuck off” it makes a man want to vomit to hear that. They like it when you show your life is changing according to how they talk though without you knowing it.

    Like


  59. 58 Gunslinger

    Rest assured, I would only say “fuck off” in affection. If I was really pissed, I’d be more likely to say “Go to Hell.”.

    Like


  60. on August 10, 2008 at 7:51 pm Patrick Bateman

    Rest assured, I would only say “fuck off” in affection. If I was really pissed, I’d be more likely to say “Go to Hell.”.

    “Fuck off” makes my dick hard, but “go to hell” just makes me think you’re not trying.

    Like


  61. on August 10, 2008 at 8:32 pm SovereignAmericanMale

    Sara, please deliver a message to katie for me:

    Brit-chic, Go To Hell and Fuck off while you’re on the way.
    Come back when you can type “non-sms” style, and have something worthwhile to read.

    (after all Sara provides more then enough off topic entertainment.)

    Like


  62. 60 Patrick

    Gooood one!

    61 SAM

    Thank you! I’m entertaining? Hehehe.

    Oh God, I have so much paper work to do and NOTHING standing in my way. Just my overly active mind. Even my daughter is not here as an excuse. Fuck.

    Like


  63. on August 10, 2008 at 9:41 pm SovereignAmericanMale

    @62 Sara

    Even my daughter is not here as an excuse. Fuck.

    Since you have made the request, I will consider obliging you.

    Just email me the street address again, and let me know if you want red or white wine.

    Your overly active mind will be very quieted. You will be unable to walk for a few days as well.

    And we will find out just how entertaining you can be.

    Like


  64. 63 SAM

    I would have to REMEMBER how entertaining. It is like riding a bike, isn’t it? God, I hope so. Not that this is productive, but I just emailed my “boyfriend”. I told him “I miss my little sugar baby.” Isn’t that awful? LOL He’ll want to come over and I’ll have to tell him I’m too busy.

    Like


  65. Some entertainment for the troops:

    Like