Marriage Does A Body Bad

Anyone who has heard the complaints of married men about their wives’ letting it all go to pot after the first bite of the wedding cake would not be surprised by this study.  As if there wasn’t already enough to argue against the raw deal for men that is modern marriage, we now have slovenly fatness to toss into the mix.

•Women in their teens and early 20s who continued to date but didn’t cohabitate gained an average of 15 pounds over five years; their male counterparts added about 24 pounds.

•Newly married women in that age group packed on 24 pounds in five years; newly married men gained 30 pounds.

That degree of gain wasn’t seen in couples who were living together but not married. Women gained 3 pounds more than their single peers — 18 pounds — and men gained 24 pounds.

Single people stay the thinnest, followed closely by cohabiting couples, and bringing up the (very large) rear are married couples.  Since weight gain on men is not as deleterious to their romantic prospects nor as deal-breaking for the women who love them, the real extent of how structurally anti-pleasure marriage is reveals itself in the pounds packed on by the wives.  A wife who stuffs her cakehole and bloats up by 24 pounds in the first five years of marriage is basically saying she doesn’t give a flying fuck about her husband’s desires.  So she isn’t just a lardass she’s inconsiderate.  Inner ugly marches lockstep with outer ugly.

“When people are dating, there may be more incentive to be thin,” Gordon-Larsen says.

The sexual market uber alles.  What married couples don’t seem to grasp is that the rules have changed.  Marriage is no longer a sanctuary from the unforgiving judgement of human mate preference.  No fault divorce and a complete collapse of the old social prohibitions have ensured that.

Single young adults tend to be the most active, watch the least amount of TV and are the least likely to be obese, says Natalie The, a researcher at the University of North Carolina.

What does marriage have going for it anymore?

She says many factors probably contribute to couples’ weight, including having children, post-pregnancy pounds, having less time to exercise and eating out more or cooking bigger meals.

Or losing the incentive to keep yourself attractive to the opposite sex.  No doubt many of these women married losers who aren’t flight risks, so why bother?

The 50% divorce rate is easy to understand once you know the cycle of life:

Man marries woman ——> woman’s goal is achieved (snag monogamous provider) while man’s goal (spread the seed) is thwarted ——> woman no longer feels need to be attractive to man ——> she gets fat ——> man loses interest in fucking her ——> woman becomes insecure over this and eats even more ——> she gets fatter ——> man drops all pretense of pleasing his fat wife and sits around belching, farting, drinking beer, watching sports, and forgetting anniversaries ——> woman resents man for this ——> woman shovels massive quantities of food down her gullet for comfort and pleasure ——> woman is now unrecognizable manatee ——> man escapes to nightly poker games with his buddies and quick jerks to porn ——> woman files for divorce ——> man loses half his money ——> woman uses this unearned windfall to hire personal trainer ——> woman loses weight remembering what it takes to please a man.

I have a question for all those fatass wives out there.
Tell me, when the mirror mocks you and your husband finds the sight of you repulsive and your marriage crumbles around you in a deluge of bitter bitter tears, ask yourself…
was the food worth it?





Comments


  1. Since weight gain on men is not as deleterious to their romantic prospects nor as deal-breaking for the women who love them

    It just puts men in coffins.
    Women who gain weight tend to add fat to their hips and rear ends, while men usually add fat to their abdomens. While big hips and rear ends on women can be esthetically undesirable, from a health standpoint that sort of fat is pretty much harmless unless really excessive. In contrast, bulging abdomens on men can be deadly. Having a waist measurement in excess of 40 inches significantly increases a man’s chances of taking an early dirt nap.

    Liked by 1 person


  2. According to your figures, the men are outgaining the women. How did you spin this so that it’s the wife’s fault? Seems both parties are guilty of letting themselves go. Is that okay for the husband, but not for the wife? That’s a little convenient.

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  3. Oops! Our comments must have overlapped – your response to Peter semi-covered mine.

    Weight gain by either party is equally inconsiderate. It’s not gender-biased.

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  4. Look at the girl’s mother before you propose. That’s your wife in 25-35 years.

    Liked by 1 person


  5. on October 26, 2007 at 4:20 pm Days of Broken Arrows

    Wait — I’ve read studies that said that married couples live longer than singles. Yet now they’re fatter. Fat people don’t live long! I doubt the validity of these studies and think they’re thrown off by some ethnic facts, but don’t want to start another thread like that.

    Is anyone else creeped out by the kid-picture that FreckledK uses as her icon?

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  6. I can’t believe those numbers on weight gain. Yuck. I think the recent articles about weight gain as a contagious social disease are a lot more revealing on this topic than this post.

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  7. I used to be married, and I think weight gain is like a “normal wear and tear” clause. You know, like when you lease an apartment: you can’t cause structural damage or dramatically harm the place, but normal wear and tear (like scuffs) are expected and fine.

    I think marriage works the same way – you should try and keep yourself at a similar level of attractiveness as your wedding day. BUT, with an understanding that both parties will experience the “normal wear and tear” that aging causes to both men and women. You know, receding hairlines, post-pregnancy belly lump, a little less energy, hair in peculiar places etc. So, no, you can’t live on Ho-Hos, but expecting your wife to be an impeccably polished size 0 after 3 babies and a decade of marriage is absurd. She probably finds your receding hairline a bit dodgy, so it goes both ways.

    Also, women often gain weight during marriage for the simple reason that their husbands impose their taste in food on the household. And men like heavier, greasier stuff than most women do. I ate pretty lightly when I was single (stir-fries, fish, lots of veggies), but my ex had a taste for heavy, fatty Southern foods. So I porked up about 10 pounds when I was married and dropped the weight soon after I divorced. It has more to do with household dynamics than some sort of deliberate self-sabotage on the part of the wife.

    Just another way of looking at it, from someone who’s been there.

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  8. DoBA hit the nail on the head. Just because you are vegetarian doesn’t mean that you are healthy.

    There are plenty of over-weight vegetarians out there, I’ve met quite a few.

    Well-balanced meals are always the way to go.

    but of course, if you really want thin girls, VK, Breatharians are the way to go.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inedia

    [there’s that cult-thing again…]

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  9. peter – no argument there. men who let themselves go are messes too. but there’s something particularly inconsiderate about a wife getting fat. it’s the equivalent of a husband quitting his job and sitting around the house all day playing video games. both actions say “i don’t care about pleasing you”.

    Liked by 1 person


  10. Don’t hate vegetarians. I agree with most of the macho stuff in terms of it being attractive to women, but there’s nothing manly and strong about eating a merciless animal that was cruelly slaughtered and is easily available in a convenient package in the local supermarket.

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  11. on October 26, 2007 at 5:47 pm Days of Broken Arrows

    “…I’ve been meeting nothing but vegetarians out on the town….”

    Hahaha. Here’s the answer: You can be a vegeterian and eat 20 friggin boxes of Twinkies and Little Debbie snack cakes, that’s why! I know both girls and guys who did exactly this in college. In fact, one fattie still owes me Ho-Hos that he swiped.

    The vegeterianism thing brings up another issue. When you date a woman these days, it’s bot so much datin gas it is joining a cult. This one is totally into not eating meat, that one is really into some idiotic trendy spiritual bullshit, the other one is all hopped up on acupuncture or astrology. Then there’s the cult of politics. Or feminism. Jesus Christ. You have to pretend to be really into whatever the woman is to to get in her pants. Once you do, you can finally kick back with a burger or whatever.

    And, yes, men have their interests, but women are biologically designed to bear and rear kids so they approach their “interests” with the same overly-concerned, unironic POV they would have brough to child-rearing. I mean, I really love certain types of music, but can get why other people think it’s crap or why it’s ireelevent in the larger scheme…

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  12. shannon –
    the study specifically showed that for women in the same age groups and for the same length of time, married women gained more weight than their single counterparts, including *cohabiting* couples.
    so the food rationale is invalid as a girl in cohabitation would pick up the same eating habits of her lover as a married girl would of her husband.
    the conclusion is inescapable. marriage does something to a woman’s – and man’s – motivation to stay in shape that other lifestyle arrangments do not.
    the study didn’t control for having kids so some of the additional weight gain from marriage may be pregnancy aftereffects, but we’d have to know how many cohabiting couples have kids in the first five years of the relationship compared to married couples to tease out how much of the weight gain difference was because of pregnancy.

    It has more to do with household dynamics than some sort of deliberate self-sabotage on the part of the wife.

    the sabotage doesn’t have to be deliberate. just being freed from the demands of finding a mate is enough disincentive to stop caring about your looks. path of least resistance and all.

    bird:
    illogical, ageist misogyny

    i plead guilty to the second.

    if by misogynist you mean a man who loves beautiful women so much that making sweet love with lots of them is basically the primary goal of his life, then i stand guilty as charged on that as well.

    but illogical? oh, now that just hurts, ma’am!

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  13. the study doesn’t mention children… married women are more likely to bear children and gain weight than their non-married, co-habitating counterparts.

    men’s eating habits can impact the gf/wife’s weight. open a single woman’s refrigerator and you’ll find a carton of yogurt, diet coke and maybe some milk for coffee in the AM and the white russia in the PM. women don’t eat like men. we pick, we eat standing up – starbucks is a meal in itself. agreed – boyfriends and husbands are bad for a woman’s waist size.

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  14. how structurally anti-pleasure marriage is

    apart from anything else about the ideology, this is a really good point and a good way of expressing it. In an increasingly pleasure-driven society, marriage is much more about duty than pleasure. Of course, one could say that having kids is what makes marriage this way…children are not really about the parents’ pleasure.

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  15. I’ve read studies that said that married couples live longer than singles.

    Probably has to do with the fact that most of the people who die really young (even in cohorts that don’t include childhood deaths, all of whom are obviously single) – drug addicts, soldiers, people in ‘the game’, and so forth, on the left-hand tail of the death-age curve – are single. Accidental deaths are probably lower among married people, too, because, well, married people aren’t exactly known for their derring-do.

    ‘twould be truly illuminating if these studies had adequate controls, but, like the vast majority of studies in the social ‘sciences’, they don’t.

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  16. The “woman’s goal is achieved” through marriage, only if one accepts the proposition that a woman can only be “alpha” if she can convince a man to stay with her for at least a lengthy period of time. So basically, what you see as the problem for men is something that only exists because of your world view, where you have men being the people who count and women being the people who please men. You’re obviously not the only one who believes this. But you’re right, it’s giving men a bad deal. (And I think, women too).

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  17. on October 27, 2007 at 2:21 pm Days of Broken Arrows

    “The “woman’s goal is achieved” through marriage, only if one accepts the proposition that a woman can only be “alpha” if she can convince a man to stay with her for at least a lengthy period of time. So basically, what you see as the problem for men is something that only exists because of your world view, where you have men being the people who count and women being the people who please men.”

    The whole point of being human is to pass on your genes. Therefore, women who convince men to stick around and support them and their offspring are, in fact, alpha, because they’ve best assured a good life for their offspring. It’s not that men are the people that count — it’s the offspring and a strong, wealthy man is the best assurance the offspring will be healthy, wealthy and all that.

    The real alpha women attract the men who stay around and someday visit the kid at Yale. The beta women attract hit and run dudes and later visit the kid in jail. Not my opinion; a statistical fact.

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  18. Anyone who has a problem with weight (and a modicum of self-respect) diets regularly throughout his/her life. So the statistic about massive weight gain on the part of marrieds is somewhat misleading. Yes, the weight is gained but it’s also lost and kept off for (my guess here) longer periods of time, on average, than is the case with overweight singles. Since regular sexual relations are the glue that holds most marriages together the husband/wife has more of an insentive to slim down and stay moderately attractive than do many out of it fat singles.

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  19. “so the food rationale is invalid as a girl in cohabitation would pick up the same eating habits of her lover as a married girl would of her husband.”

    Not necessarily. If you’re the girlfriend, you still have a lot of freedom. If you’re married, you’re far more likely to pick up one another’s habits because it’s assumed that the arrangement is permanent. Plus the “nesting instinct” kicks in for both men and women after marriage, so you’re more likely to stay home, snacking on chips on the couch.

    Marriage also adds in the pressure of in-laws (they put on the squeeze in terms of “fixing proper meals.”) In other words, marry a Southerner, get fat. I wonder if the study factored in things like region and pestering in-laws.

    Marriage, when done well, is good for your health. When done badly, it’s detrimental. Just look at those studies showing that women who quash their anger get sick and die sooner than more vocal women.

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  20. Here’s the thing…

    one can see themselves gaining weight, it isnt a secret. And some people act like they went to sleep one night a size 6, and woke up a size 16. It doesnt work like that.

    Married people sometimes get lazy…and if you approach marriage with a lazy lethargic attitude, you are going to get a lazy and lethargic result.

    Furthermore, if you have children, you should take care of your body even more, considering you have lives depending on you as a primary care giver.

    Also, People should be comfortable with their spouses enough to tell them when there is a weigh gain issue going on…Now, many women dont want to hear this…but, as a friend, your husband should tell you when you are gaining an unhealthy amount of weight, and the same for a woman telling a man. Be supportive, and eat mre healthy, or workout, or walk after meals or something…

    Who wants to be unattractive?? Nobody, and listen, this isnt shallow…its the truth…when you were single, you didnt want a fattie…what would change??? Save your kids the therapy bills for the horrible divorce, and start working out, and stop being lazy….

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  21. The mass media has brainwashed women so severely, and
    steadily for at least a few decades now, that women’s
    fantastical expectations of a “happy” marriage are so
    distorted and delusional that when reality finally hits her
    (yes, Dorothy, there are many unpleasantries in life,
    goddamit), the stress of that drives her to find fulfillment in food and/or materialism.

    Men, for all their faults, remain more firmly in reality. They eat a little more because they’re happy to have a wife, at least in the beginning and want to enjoy themselves.

    Ultimately, the huge amounts of stress put on people by this false version of media-created reality and pushing unattainable lifestyles, contributes hugely to weight gain.

    It’s not going to change for a long time but something’s got to definitely give.

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  22. wow. how many of you here are married?

    i don’t know a single married, overweight woman who is satistfied with her weight. some have diabetes, some couldn’t lose their pregnancy lbs, and some just lost control. do you honestly think that women sit around and gorge themselves without care? don’t you think it’s a little unfair to admonish women for giving into their animal urges, but to assert than men should not be asked to do the same? (oh wait, that’s the point of this blog)

    i think drawing a causation from this association is unwise. if i would have to make a temporal relationship, i’d say this:

    man and woman get married -> woman realizes that she can’t change her ‘alpha’ husband -> starts to nag -> man withdraws -> woman gets fat

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  23. Irina, I love it. How about:

    Man and woman get married > man wants to eat every meal at Ruby Tuesday’s, McDonald’s and Outback > unaccustomed to greasy man food, woman gains a little weight > man bitches about woman gaining weight > woman decides to cook healthful meals at home > man whines about eating “rabbit food”, man refuses to do any cooking himself >man and woman return to McDonald’s, both gain weight > woman loves her husband after all and overlooks the pudge > man declares woman unattractive and therefore unlovable >woman looks to food for solace, gains more weight > man leaves woman, trades her in for bimbo > woman better off without him, drops the weight, meets handsome doctor

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  24. “if by misogynist you mean a man who loves beautiful women so much that making sweet love with lots of them is basically the primary goal of his life, then i stand guilty as charged on that as well”

    Let’s be clear. You don’t love beautiful women; you love female beauty, and you love having sex with women who possess it. The women you only care about to the extent that they are obstacles you’re required to overcome by finding whatever combination of words and actions it takes to get them to open their legs.

    To put it another way: I bet used car salesmen love their customers, too.

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  25. I think it’s hilarious that you act like it’s a crime for a woman to gain weight after marriage when don’t you think women have this same fear? this is why I wouldn’t want to marry someone who was unathletic because I like working out and I would feel like here I was caring about staying in shape while I was married to someone who didn’t care if they got fat or not. I think a lot of times people attract people who are equal to themselves in many ways. I have seen married couples and even dating couples who look very similar in weight. This just makes sense. I don’t see why it’s heinous for the woman to gain weight but you act like it’s fine and dandy for a man ( who doesn’t have babies and who often pressures the woman to have babies) to look like a total flubby slob and have affairs.

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  26. “The beta women attract hit and run dudes and later visit the kid in jail. Not my opinion; a statistical fact.”

    Um. Yes. You defined “beta women,” as “women who are left by men.” So yeah. A statistic on women who are left by men would be a statistical fact. About the women YOU termed beta. But you do realize that is just circular logic, right?

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  27. sprecken sie false assumptions:
    You don’t love beautiful women; you love female beauty, and you love having sex with women who possess it.

    romantic love has sex as a necessary component, so it’s incorrect to draw a dichotomy between real love and sex. i love women for their bodies, their look, their scent, their feel, the pleasure they give me and the pleasure they get from me, the way they kiss, their kind and feminine natures, their different way of looking at the world, the way they giggle at my jokes, their whimsy…
    in short, i love being in love with a woman.

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  28. “ask yourself…
    was the food worth it?”

    Worth it? Some of us eat specifically in order to get rid of loathsome fascist tossers like you.

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  29. Some of us eat specifically in order to get rid of loathsome fascist tossers like you.

    bloating up to get rid of those you see as fascist tossers will also cost you the attentions of those men you like who politely hide their contempt for your physical deterioration behind a fusillade of “she’s got a great pesonality, but…” soulkilling rejections.

    or: it ain’t just evil bastards like myself you’ve gotta worry about pleasing.

    hope this hurts.

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  30. OH THE HUGE MANATEE

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